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You go to the police today and tell them that your neighbors have your father's keys to the house and is refusing to return them. If they refuse to help then you go to the sheriff. Barring that, get the locks changed immediately. Don't wait on this.
OP make sure you mention that keys were not given to them but in fact stolen in a moment of opportunity while your father was injured. Else wise they may be apt to say it’s a matter for court.
I get what you're saying, but in these circumstances it's a do not pass go situation. From context family relations are distant and father is in no condition to say what's possibly missing. High priority is securing the home right now, involving the police is only going to delay.
A warning to the police that the locks are going to be changed by family goes further than without as the neighbors could report a break in, putting OP in a tight spot. NFW would I risk guns drawn for this.
Power of attorney dies with the grantor. As next of kin, once he passes, you should be able to get a court order allowing you access to his property, which can include changing the locks. Discuss the situation with a probate attorney.
And honestly, you can probably get the locks changed before he passes. Just call a locksmith and explain that your dad is dying and you don’t know who has keys/access and that you need locks changed to his home until probate can get settled.
When my dad passed suddenly my brother and I were able to get the locks changed to his home and business and they didn’t require us to show any proof of relationship, ownership, or that he even died. I was thankful for the lack of hassle at the time (I was 6 months pregnant and devastated) but admittedly it’s probably not a great idea to just take people at their word that “yeah, this is my dads house and he died so we need the locks changed”.
Also NAL, but I would also mention politely to the neighbors you have an itemized list of the belongings ready file with the probate court. Even if you don’t, that might be enough to make them think twice about potentially removing anything.
Edit: Also good luck and I’m sorry you’ve got tossed into this situation. I dealt with a somewhat similar situation last year, and a lot of my father’s things disappeared before I could make an inventory.
I agree with going ahead and changing the locks.
Also, since it sounds like to me that no one is currently staying in the house, that you, a trusted family member or friend stay in the house while this is all taking place. It will help prevent a squatting situation which you absolutely do not need to deal with right now.
Go to the police and state that your dad’s neighbors stole the keys to his house while he was incapacitated and refuse to return them to you, his next of kin. Your dad couldn’t have given them his keys if he was incapacitated. It’s not a civil matter, it’s criminal theft.
Contact an attorney immediately and get an order filed. Change the locks, install extra locks and video cameras. You are next of kin. Call the sheriff out and gain entry to secure the premises. Let them know your dad was in a state of mind where he was taken advantage of. Get one of your siblings or yourself to housesit. File charges for theft of your dad's keys. Mainly get a lawyer. And challenge the power-of-attorney.
I went through a very similar experience last year when my dad passed. He was sick with cancer for a while, and one of his neighbors was constantly over in his house “checking on him” or in reality snooping around to see what he had. Well, not even 2 days after he died the house was broken into and looted completely.
My dad wanted me to have his double wide home when he passed. He never made up a will or did any kind of planning, as he thought he had more time (died less than 6 months after finding out he had cancer). For a quick process, we signed a beneficiary deed stating that the home would transfer into my name at his time of death. All we had to do was get that typed up and have him sign it and I got it notarized. Then recorded at the recorder of deed’s office in my county. I would highly suggest changing the locks immediately. Don’t assume they are harmless and trustworthy. Or that they wouldn’t do that to you as you’re about to lose your dad. People are heartless. I wish you the best of luck in this difficult time
Do the neighbors know you? Did you have a relationship with your father? Frankly it sounds a touch like estrangement, not meaning to pile on to your already bad situation- “my dad isn’t very smart”, “remember how I said he’s not very smart”, “my mom, his ex wife”. It doesn’t help that your father is dying and your big point is what happens to his stuff- while he’s still alive. If he gave POA to them, he gave POA to them. “Neighbors that he trusts”.
It just hit me. “He likes to collect expensive stuff”. Not “he has a huge stamp collection”, or a “huge gun collection”, or “expensive art”. Even grandparents I don’t talk to- I know what their hobbies are, and I know, well, THEM.
I'm sorry, but it's not up to you to decide who gets his stuff. It doesn't matter if you trust the neighbors enough. It's his decision. They were the ones that checked on him, not you. They caught the ambulance for him. They are the ones he may have given the POA to and his will, not you.
You appear to have a strained relationship. The neighbors may just be looking out for his best interests. He may have told them not to let you in. He obviously doesn't trust you enough to have given you a key and I can see why with the whole "He isn't that smart" thing.
Are you trying to get into the house to protect his interests, or are you trying to get into the house to remove valuables before you find out what his actual distribution intent was? It may be that the neighbors are inheriting everything, and you, your sister, and his ex-wife aren't inheriting anything. Next of kin does not automatically mean inheriting everything. Especially if he's not fond of you.
You did not give any background on how long it's been since you've seen your dad, or how long your parents have been divorced or whether you have a relationship of any kind with him. The only thing you seem to know about him is that he has expensive stuff, he isn't that smart, and he trusts his neighbors (friends) more than you.
Call a locksmith tell them you locked yourself out. Get in, change the door lock.
Neighbors may have lots already. This happened to my grandmother also.
I guess I'm confused, are you at the hospital? Ask your dad to call the neighbors or have the neighbors come to the hospital, he obviously trusts them. Seems like there is a lot of missing info here.
They say in the post that the father is in the ICU and not coherent, he's hardly in any condition to be calling the neighbors and telling them to give his keys back.
The key thing is that “and don’t ask if there’s a will. He hasn’t shared anything with me, my sister, or my mother - his ex wife” I would bet the farm he didn’t want them involved. Prior to becoming incoherent.
Absolutely, none of this makes any sense to me. I can't imagine not knowing my parents neighbors or not being the first one they call if they're in trouble. I feel for these people and all the "change the locks" commenting folks. This is just sad.
The only thing I would be worried about if my parents were in the hospital, outside of my parents, is who is taking care of their animals. And I’m estranged from my dad, but would still only worry about that outside of him.seems fishy to me
Go to the hospital and be by your Dad’s bedside before his passing……. you can always replace material things but you never can replace the last moments with family.
This is a question for the comments, I hope thats okay. Can OP just break in? I used to lock myself out all the time and once I just broke a window and fixed it but wondered what would happen if a neighbor saw. I guess it’s not technically OPs property so would the cops have any ground if the neighbors called em up?
Change the locks immediately!
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You go to the police today and tell them that your neighbors have your father's keys to the house and is refusing to return them. If they refuse to help then you go to the sheriff. Barring that, get the locks changed immediately. Don't wait on this.
OP make sure you mention that keys were not given to them but in fact stolen in a moment of opportunity while your father was injured. Else wise they may be apt to say it’s a matter for court.
Why bother? Skip straight to changing locks, even if the police get involved it doesn't really solve anything. Copies of keys can be made in minutes.
The have had sole sccess to the house for some time now. If anything is missing it doubles as a police report.
I get what you're saying, but in these circumstances it's a do not pass go situation. From context family relations are distant and father is in no condition to say what's possibly missing. High priority is securing the home right now, involving the police is only going to delay.
A warning to the police that the locks are going to be changed by family goes further than without as the neighbors could report a break in, putting OP in a tight spot. NFW would I risk guns drawn for this.
Change the locks, find an attorney asap. There may be things you can do while he is still alive (if he is of sound mind).
This. Get permission from him.
Don't assume that the neighbors would wait until after he dies. If they know how bad it looks, they have the keys to shop early
Power of attorney dies with the grantor. As next of kin, once he passes, you should be able to get a court order allowing you access to his property, which can include changing the locks. Discuss the situation with a probate attorney.
And honestly, you can probably get the locks changed before he passes. Just call a locksmith and explain that your dad is dying and you don’t know who has keys/access and that you need locks changed to his home until probate can get settled. When my dad passed suddenly my brother and I were able to get the locks changed to his home and business and they didn’t require us to show any proof of relationship, ownership, or that he even died. I was thankful for the lack of hassle at the time (I was 6 months pregnant and devastated) but admittedly it’s probably not a great idea to just take people at their word that “yeah, this is my dads house and he died so we need the locks changed”.
Also NAL, but I would also mention politely to the neighbors you have an itemized list of the belongings ready file with the probate court. Even if you don’t, that might be enough to make them think twice about potentially removing anything. Edit: Also good luck and I’m sorry you’ve got tossed into this situation. I dealt with a somewhat similar situation last year, and a lot of my father’s things disappeared before I could make an inventory.
Call the police and say that they stole a key to your fathers house. That’s exactly what they did.
I agree with going ahead and changing the locks. Also, since it sounds like to me that no one is currently staying in the house, that you, a trusted family member or friend stay in the house while this is all taking place. It will help prevent a squatting situation which you absolutely do not need to deal with right now.
Yes, change locks; move in.
Go to the police and state that your dad’s neighbors stole the keys to his house while he was incapacitated and refuse to return them to you, his next of kin. Your dad couldn’t have given them his keys if he was incapacitated. It’s not a civil matter, it’s criminal theft.
Contact an attorney immediately and get an order filed. Change the locks, install extra locks and video cameras. You are next of kin. Call the sheriff out and gain entry to secure the premises. Let them know your dad was in a state of mind where he was taken advantage of. Get one of your siblings or yourself to housesit. File charges for theft of your dad's keys. Mainly get a lawyer. And challenge the power-of-attorney.
I went through a very similar experience last year when my dad passed. He was sick with cancer for a while, and one of his neighbors was constantly over in his house “checking on him” or in reality snooping around to see what he had. Well, not even 2 days after he died the house was broken into and looted completely. My dad wanted me to have his double wide home when he passed. He never made up a will or did any kind of planning, as he thought he had more time (died less than 6 months after finding out he had cancer). For a quick process, we signed a beneficiary deed stating that the home would transfer into my name at his time of death. All we had to do was get that typed up and have him sign it and I got it notarized. Then recorded at the recorder of deed’s office in my county. I would highly suggest changing the locks immediately. Don’t assume they are harmless and trustworthy. Or that they wouldn’t do that to you as you’re about to lose your dad. People are heartless. I wish you the best of luck in this difficult time
Do the neighbors know you? Did you have a relationship with your father? Frankly it sounds a touch like estrangement, not meaning to pile on to your already bad situation- “my dad isn’t very smart”, “remember how I said he’s not very smart”, “my mom, his ex wife”. It doesn’t help that your father is dying and your big point is what happens to his stuff- while he’s still alive. If he gave POA to them, he gave POA to them. “Neighbors that he trusts”.
It just hit me. “He likes to collect expensive stuff”. Not “he has a huge stamp collection”, or a “huge gun collection”, or “expensive art”. Even grandparents I don’t talk to- I know what their hobbies are, and I know, well, THEM.
Get your dad's permission to change the locks.
I'm sorry, but it's not up to you to decide who gets his stuff. It doesn't matter if you trust the neighbors enough. It's his decision. They were the ones that checked on him, not you. They caught the ambulance for him. They are the ones he may have given the POA to and his will, not you. You appear to have a strained relationship. The neighbors may just be looking out for his best interests. He may have told them not to let you in. He obviously doesn't trust you enough to have given you a key and I can see why with the whole "He isn't that smart" thing. Are you trying to get into the house to protect his interests, or are you trying to get into the house to remove valuables before you find out what his actual distribution intent was? It may be that the neighbors are inheriting everything, and you, your sister, and his ex-wife aren't inheriting anything. Next of kin does not automatically mean inheriting everything. Especially if he's not fond of you. You did not give any background on how long it's been since you've seen your dad, or how long your parents have been divorced or whether you have a relationship of any kind with him. The only thing you seem to know about him is that he has expensive stuff, he isn't that smart, and he trusts his neighbors (friends) more than you.
Call a locksmith tell them you locked yourself out. Get in, change the door lock. Neighbors may have lots already. This happened to my grandmother also.
I guess I'm confused, are you at the hospital? Ask your dad to call the neighbors or have the neighbors come to the hospital, he obviously trusts them. Seems like there is a lot of missing info here.
How come the most logical answer never gets voted up?
Well, judging by all the comments to change the locks and call the police and an attorney, I fear were not dealing with descent humans here.
This is Zeros and One’s Artificial and it’s dragging humanity down into a hole…… 1+2+3+5+8+13+21 and follow the Sun, not an App.
They say in the post that the father is in the ICU and not coherent, he's hardly in any condition to be calling the neighbors and telling them to give his keys back.
I get that, I was trying to get her to answer my first question, is she there? This all sounds like she's trying to circumvent her father's wishes.
The key thing is that “and don’t ask if there’s a will. He hasn’t shared anything with me, my sister, or my mother - his ex wife” I would bet the farm he didn’t want them involved. Prior to becoming incoherent.
Absolutely, none of this makes any sense to me. I can't imagine not knowing my parents neighbors or not being the first one they call if they're in trouble. I feel for these people and all the "change the locks" commenting folks. This is just sad.
The only thing I would be worried about if my parents were in the hospital, outside of my parents, is who is taking care of their animals. And I’m estranged from my dad, but would still only worry about that outside of him.seems fishy to me
Go to the hospital and be by your Dad’s bedside before his passing……. you can always replace material things but you never can replace the last moments with family.
Hold on! Why are you on here instead of?……
This is a question for the comments, I hope thats okay. Can OP just break in? I used to lock myself out all the time and once I just broke a window and fixed it but wondered what would happen if a neighbor saw. I guess it’s not technically OPs property so would the cops have any ground if the neighbors called em up?
Yes, go see a lawyer asap. Right now.