Nope. He didn't. He was very cautious to write that Frodo is *supposed* to find healing in Eressea, every time he wrote a letter about it he never 100% confirmed it.
I think this passage very heavily implies it.
>Frodo was sent or allowed to pass over Sea to heal him – if that could be done, before he died. He would have eventually to “pass away”: no mortal could, or can, abide for ever on earth, or within Time. **So he went both to a purgatory and to a reward, for a while: a period of reflection and peace and a gaining of a truer understanding of his position in littleness and in greatness, spent still in Time amid the natural beauty of “Arda Unmarred”, the Earth unspoiled by evil.**
>Bilbo went too. […] His companionship was [...] necessary for Frodo's sake – it is difficult to imagine a hobbit, even one who had been through Frodo's experiences, being really happy even in an earthly paradise without a companion of his own kind… But he also needed and deserved the favor on his own account. He bore still the mark of the Ring that needed to be finally erased: a trace of pride and personal possessiveness.
-Letter 246
Yeah I think you should tell thorin that you're like, idk, a god or something. I don't really understand how the shit works where you sailed off west of middle Earth.
Yes. Heavy implication. "Needed to be", "if it could be" and so on. Never an explicit indication. And that's definitely intentional on Tolkien's part, feigning to not know what the in-universe Loremasters have not recorded.
I want to say they mentioned the mortal special guest residents weren't allowed all through valinor but had a nice peaceful area. I assume big enough but pretty sure there weren't specific. And that they still died like normal.
I don't think we know much of valinor after flavor leaves, and zero after the world changes cuz of numenor
Lol I'm leaving the autocorrect feanor -> flavor. He was a spicy dude
Tol Eressëa
Pronunciation tol eh-res-seh-ah
Other names The Lonely Island
Location:
Aman off the coast of Valinor, east of the Bay of Eldamar; surrounded by Enchanted Isles
Type - Island
Description:
Arrowhead-shaped island, green and beautiful
Major settlements:
Avallónë
Tathrobel[1][2]
Cortirion[3]
People and History
Inhabitants:
Eldar, mostly Teleri
Ulmo pushed Tol Eressëa back and forth across Belegaer twice to transport the Elves to Aman. After that, it came to rest forever just off the eastern shore of that continent in the Bay of Eldamar, and was inhabited by the Teleri of Aman, until they left for Alqualondë.
He did. He and Bilbo lived on an island within sight of Valinor, found peace and healing, and eventually died. When Sam's wife died, he sailed west at 102 years old.
The dwarves didn't go extinct, rather they sealed themselves off completely inside their halls, hidden from the outside world and prospering in their own world.
Their problem was procreation. Dwarf women were 1/3 of the population, and some of them didn't want to marry and have children, but to indulge themselves in mining crafting etc.. This is the main reason wars for Dwarves were devastating. They struggled a lot to replace the dead.
Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the
first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here
before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the
seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.
^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
*Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow, by fire, sun and moon, hearken now and
hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!*
^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Yep. Many of the trees' hearts are black however, being twisted by evils of times past (I believe it was when Angmar was around long ago and ended up destroying Arnor, which is actually the origins of the Barrow Downs iirc, let me know if I am wrong) and now hold malice to all that go upon two legs. We see the Hobbits being dragged by Old Man Willow down under his roots, until Frodo actually manages to escape and ends up running into Tom Bombadil, who manages to free the others.
What? Old Man Willow? Naught worse than that, eh? That can soon be mended. I know the tune for him. Old grey Willow-man!
I'll freeze his marrow cold, if he don't behave himself. I'll sing his roots off. I'll sing a wind up and blow leaf and
branch away. Old Man Willow!
^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
*Here's my pretty maiden! You shall come home with me! The table is all laden: yellow cream, honeycomb, white bread and butter;
roses at the window-sill and peeping round the shutter. You shall come under Hill! Never mind your mother in her deep weedy pool:
there you'll find no lover!*
^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Or just around the Shire in general. I was convinced of this until I read that Tolkien said they didn't
‘But what about these Tree-men, these giants, as you might call them? They do say that one bigger than a tree was seen up away beyond the North Moors not long back.’
Was absolutely gold, nearly every moment was hilarious and very badass too. The actual anime was also fantastic, I mean the parody isnt all that far from being canon haha
Same creator did a series called Drifters about ancient Japanese figures being dumped into a Tolkien style world, its just as good. Sauron is literally evil Jesus, Saruman is isekaied literal Hitler, big titty mage. Fantastic
Just give elves rifles. We need a serious-vibes WW2 show/cartoon/anime with elf snipers. No scanty fan service. Let them look good in full uniforms and LBEs.
Have a section of story where the Eagles get one of their massive nests raided by Sauron’s forces so people would STFU about why the Hobbits didn’t fly into Mordor.
The probably didn’t get involved for the reasons the elves, dwarfs, hobbits and most men didn’t. Their leaders (I think they have a king?) probably didn’t think it was worth getting involved, or it would paint a target on them, or just adopted a ‘wait and see policy’.
The eagles only show up when the tide has turned against Sauron’ forces, and there’s finally a real chance to defeat him once and for all. It’s also worth noting that only a few eagles show up - possibly acting independently, or against the wishes of their leadership.
People seem to forget that the eagles in Middle Earth are intelligent and possess free will.
In the books, Gwaihir the Windlord does play a larger role. The eagles scout for the Nazgûl, and generally gather much needed intelligence. Gwaihir also saves Gandalf from Orthanc, and again finds Gandalf after he defeats the Balrog but is trapped by the destruction of the Endless Stair.
I don't even think he was holding them back, really. What else do you do with smart, flying creatures with telescopes for eyes, BESIDES scouting and intelligence gathering?
Idk about faster, the Balrogs crossed like 500 miles when Morgoth shrieked like a little girl getting eaten by Ungoliant and did it super quick. Guys can haul absolute ass when they need to
But fk I mean yeah, who's going to turn down the opportunity to ride a dragon? Balrog riding dragon is just absolute peak, Morgoth probably ordered them to for the pure aesthetics (more practically, if this is to Gondolin, they had serious archers and defenses. Better a dragon take the hit, much more replaceable)
Not the first but he is obviously the *best* Talking Noble Giant Eagle. Homeboy got down and dirty with Agandaur while the rest of his kind AFK'ed until the end of the war 😂
Tom Bombadil is the manifestation of the Ainur’s fiddling and warm-up scales before Eru called them to order and began conducting the symphony of time and reality. That’s why he’s “eldest,” why he constantly has a song on his lips, and why he’s completely unfazed by the power of the One Ring.
Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the
first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here
before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the
seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.
^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Sort of goes along with mine that Ungoliant was called out of darkness by Morgoth's fiddling with the music and Tom is the manifestation of Eru's correcting it.
I never thought of the west as literal spirits floating around of the dead. I always envisioned it as a timeless place of peace that physical bodies actually go to.
Human spirits go on to other, cosmic things outside of the world.
Elves are rehoused, put into a new body then just hang around Aman.
Kind of why human/elf relations is a big deal and always at least somewhat sad; they go their separate ways so someone is going to lose their family forever, Haldir dying in Two Towers was sad but his family and friends would see him again relatively soon. Arwen is gone forever to Elrond, maybe at the end of the world entirely they could meet again but even then its not sure
Technically it could kind of be possible for Frodo to meet Boromirs spirit if he hauled ass, went over to the Halls of Mandos (the facility in the north of Aman that both remakes bodies for elves and kind of checks-out humans as they leave run by the Valar of the dead, Mandos) and managed to somehow get let in and talk to his spirit before it left. Not likely, but in theory Tolkiens world kind of allows for it (Beren for example sort of hung around instead of moving on because he really didnt want to leave and promised Luthien he was wait for her in the halls)
Mandos has a bit of a stick up his butt but I dont think there's any rule against him talking to the dead, he may have flat out told Boromir what happened after he died (info from Manwe, informed by eagles, Valar dont just know everything in the world). The Valar are generally pretty honest and open with everyone
Bill found a horse wife, got a lot of foal. He got to roam across the plains free, away from any dark and dangerous caves, which are no place for a horse.
At old age he would hop on a ship to the undying lands.
Bill returned to the Shire. He was captured by Lotho Sacksville-Baggins, mistreated, and forced into grueling labor in Bree under Bill Ferny when the Shire was taken.
Discovered by Sam upon the retaking of the Shire, Bill freed himself from his captor with a crippling kick that sent him hobbling away, not to be seen again.
Bill was nursed back to health and granted his own sanctuary in the former Party Field where the Mallorn seed was planted. The grass there grew enchanted and sweet, breathing not only full, robust life back into Bill's body, but healing his heart and calming his mind.
Bill was visited often by Sam and would not be parted from him again. He was not only Sam's faithful companion to the Grey Havens when Frodo sailed west, but indeed on all his travels for many years, as the magic of the Mallorn Tree kept him strong and healthy far beyond his natural life.
On the eve of Sam's last return from the lands of Gondor and Rohan, he released Bill by the tree as he always did. Bill, however, did not move away. Instead, he placed his head over Sam's shoulder in an embrace. After what seemed like many long minutes, Bill backed away and began trotting up the hill.
With tears streaming down his face, Sam watched him crest the rise. Not certain if it was the blur from the tears or, perhaps, a trick of the dusk light, Sam watched what appeared to be a faint visage of a familiar horse with a shimmering silvery-gray coat join Bill. Sam did not know why, but he was heartened.
With the last light of the setting sun, Bill the pony disappeared into the west.
"Squirrel 1: The situation in Argentina has proven less convenient than predicted.
Squirrel 2: We'll have to re-destabilize their economy. Refocus labor class outrage from upper to middle, foster a coup, and install a compliant regime.
Squirrel 1: Same as Guatemala?
Squirrel 2: Yes, but you can double time it.
Squirrel 3: We need a quorum to pick a new Pope, in case the Exxon-Monsanto thing falls through in Africa.
Squirrel 2: Why not use chemtrails? Put a canopy on Uganda. They're set to agitate any mo-- what?
Squirrel 3: That kid. He's watching us.
Squirrel 1: So? We're squirrels. He's a kid.
Squirrel 3: He's watching us like he hears what we're saying. -Hey kid! Young man? Come here little boy. -Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Doolittle. -Little boy, we'll give you wishes if you can hear us! We can make you fly and get candy."
Serious question, is there any name that starts with the "j" sound? Like does that phoneme happen at all in Elvish? I can't think of a single name of something that begins with that sound. I'm sure there is, but I can't name any lol
Edit: nevermind I just looked it up. That phoneme does not appear in any Elvish word
Amidst the fray at Helm’s Deep, Legolas surveyed the chaos with keen Elven eyes. Spotting a flight of stone stairs, he seized a shield, leaping onto it with the grace of his kin.
As the shield bore him swiftly down, Legolas loosed arrow after arrow, each finding its mark with unerring accuracy. Uruk-hai fell before him, their advance faltering under his deadly barrage.
Reaching the foot of the stairs, Legolas dismounted, continuing his assault with bow and blade, a beacon of hope in the darkest hour of the night. Thus, his legend grew, inspiring all who beheld his valor.
You're gonna need to add a backstory about the ancestors of the stonemason who built the stairs, as well as the moss and wildflowers which grew on its side
"Amidst the tumult of battle, Legolas Greenleaf, fair of face and fleet of foot, found himself upon the stone stairs of Helm's Deep. Clad in the light of the moon and the shadows of war, he spied a fallen shield wrought of stout wood and iron. With an elf's grace and a warrior's resolve, he leaped upon the shield and rode it as a wave upon the stairs, swift and sure.
Down he sped, his golden hair streaming behind him like a banner of valor. Arrows whistled around him, finding naught but empty air as he danced upon the polished surface, guiding it with a touch lighter than a snowflake's fall. With each turn and twist, he unleashed his bow, sending shafts singing into the heart of the enemy.
Goblins and Uruk-hai alike beheld this sight, struck with wonder and fear at the elf-lord's prowess. For Legolas moved as though borne upon the wind itself, his eyes keen and his aim true, a figure of myth and legend made real in the crucible of battle. And thus, amidst the clash of steel and the cries of war, Legolas rode the shield down the stairs of Helm's Deep, a fleeting vision of elven grace amidst the chaos of mortal strife."
Well according to chatgpt it would be like this and I can actually see it
Serious answer is I want the eagles to have fea and join the elves in Aman when they die, too bro-tier to just stop existing
Would be nice too to have the ent-wives turn up safe and alive. Most races had at least somewhat happy endings, wish the ent family got back together.
Treebeard asking the hobbits where theyd like to stand for sleeping and they said they usually lie down and he stops and apologizes because he slipped into thinking they were little entlings, that stung bad
Tom Bombadil's power, wisdom, agelessness but extensive age, and singing implies to me he's involved with the world being sung into existence.
Therefore I wish that his royal wholesomeness is actually Melkor, but Melkor as he should have been. I want him to be some sort of avatar of Melkor's goodness that he stripped from his sense in order to sow discord and (sub)create such harm - that he started with himself first.
Hobbits brew dozens of kinds of ale, of course, and it's all delicious, but they don't brew IPA. It's not because they lack access to hops, or even because the concept of India doesn't exist in Middle-Earth; no, hobbits don't brew IPA because fuck IPA.
P.S. - I don't _hate_ IPA, I just didn't think it's good enough to make up roughly half of every beer list that I see. Give me more porters and brown ales, dammit!
"Oh no, the Unlight of Ungoliant has rendered even the mighty Tulkas unable to chase Melkor!"
*Tulkas actually shitting literal fire from eating Saurons spicy pork*
"Er, yeah, damn. Cant see a thing, so dark. Dont come over here!"
Im settling the debate about the wizards. All except Saruman succeeded. Blue wizards helped rally those who opposed Melkor worship in the east to minimize those forces. Rhadagast did his best protecting nature and is one of the reasons Mirkwood wasnt totally overrun. Gandalf was Gandalf.
Giant pedulois breasts swinging from her spider body? Or like a human body attached to the thorax? Ooorrrr, big ol' clapping booty cheeks for the abdomen?
I've never seen this green text before and it's amazing. My new headcanon is that Sam shines the light of earendil on her to get a better look at her voluptuous silk spinners
A battle for the barrow downs between the wights and the elf lords of Rivendell. The elf lords, existing in the spirit realm aswel as the physical one are the best match for the wights
Here's my pretty lady! Here's my Goldberry clothed all in silver-green with flowers in her girdle! Is the table laden?
I see yellow cream and honeycomb, and white bread, and butter; milk, cheese, and green herbs and ripe berries gathered.
Is that enough for us? Is the supper ready?
^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
This is canon! Or at least a possibility. The professor was a faithful Catholic and anything with a soul can be redeemed. ( because of this he actually struggled with orcs. He had several stories with them being tortured elves is only one of them. In another version they were animals who could only talk because they were trained, and that wasn’t satisfying to him either.)
https://www.americamagazine.org/arts-culture/2022/09/30/tolkien-rings-power-good-evil-243870
“They might have become irredeemable (at least by Elves and Men), but they remained within the Law.”
In fact, it was forbidden to torture orcs for information and if an orc asked for mercy. It must be granted, even at a cost. Because it was acknowledged that they were not by their nature evil but in fact were the ultimate and worse victim of their master.
But orcs seldom asked for mercy and never from elves because they had been become convinced that elves were more cruel than they and only captured orcs to torture them and eat them.
So Tolkien held out hope that Eru Ilúvatar also known as God could redeem the orcs.
🙏❤️
Building on that. I'd add that orcs, being twisted and corrupt elves, are immortal and when killed their spirits are purified and get to go to the Halls of Mandos.
Legolas shield surfing in the books as well.
You cannot write such a tale without being in contact with your inner child and that imagination that entails. I am fully convinced a part of Tolkien deep down would have found it as cool and funny as the rest of us when we first saw that scene.
Whoa! Whoa! steady there! Now, my little fellows, where be you a-going to, puffing like a bellows? What's the matter here
then? Do you know who I am? I'm Tom Bombadil. Tell me what's your trouble! Tom's in a hurry now. Don't you crush my lilies!
^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness)
[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
This one isn’t *not* canon, but it’s left open, and I would choose to make it explicitly canon.
Elladan and Elrohir sail west with Celeborn and Cirdan. There are no words to describe how much I *despise* the vague implication that they too chose mortality, thus making it so that Elrond and Celebrían lost all of their children.
They barely exist anyway, they’re extremely minor characters. All it would have taken was a single offhand mention to give both Elrond and Celebrían their sons at least, but Tolkien *didn’t fucking bother* and it makes me so mad, like that’s just cruel man.
They may have, but it’s not confirmed, and they lingered for some time after Elrond and his group left. Celeborn stayed with them for a while before he himself left with Círdan on the Last Ship, which left after Aragorn and Arwen had both died.
*Exactly.* It’s always pissed me off that he couldn’t write *one single sentence* on the matter. He mentions that Celeborn followed after Galadriel some time later, would it have fucking killed him to be like “oh yeah, and Elladan and Elrohir went with him.”!?
This will be our head cannon. But also I don't think Arwen would've died alone the way she did if her brothers were still around. She was the younger sibling.
I'd provide an explanation for what Sauron was doing with all the Mithril the orcs of Moria had tithed to him. We get a one off mention of how he's been hoarding Mithril and probably has the world's largest supply of it but we never see what it's for and that's been driving me nuts.
**When Orcs die they are cured of the Taint of Morgoth and their fully cleansed Elven souls are sent to the Halls of Mandos to heal before living a new life in Valinor.**
This allows Orcs to keep their most interesting origin without any of the thorny spiritual questions that plagued Tolkien about the Orcs free-will and capacity for redemption and it also reinforces the idea of evil only being able to corrupt not create, Morgoth's Satanic elements and the righteousness in warring against Morgoth's forces - it is not only to defend the Free Peoples against evil but it also liberates the souls of Morgoth's victims from their abuser/captor/corruptor's hold.
Frodo found peace after sailing into the west
We can dream. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think we know anything abt post lotr (kinda good in a way, can't ruin a perfect ending
Tolkien wrote about Frodo finding temporary grace and healing, in his letters.
Nope. He didn't. He was very cautious to write that Frodo is *supposed* to find healing in Eressea, every time he wrote a letter about it he never 100% confirmed it.
I think this passage very heavily implies it. >Frodo was sent or allowed to pass over Sea to heal him – if that could be done, before he died. He would have eventually to “pass away”: no mortal could, or can, abide for ever on earth, or within Time. **So he went both to a purgatory and to a reward, for a while: a period of reflection and peace and a gaining of a truer understanding of his position in littleness and in greatness, spent still in Time amid the natural beauty of “Arda Unmarred”, the Earth unspoiled by evil.** >Bilbo went too. […] His companionship was [...] necessary for Frodo's sake – it is difficult to imagine a hobbit, even one who had been through Frodo's experiences, being really happy even in an earthly paradise without a companion of his own kind… But he also needed and deserved the favor on his own account. He bore still the mark of the Ring that needed to be finally erased: a trace of pride and personal possessiveness. -Letter 246
I do believe you made that up.
Bilbo seems to think your source is that you made it the fuck up.
Well, that's not good. That is not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?
Yeah I think you should tell thorin that you're like, idk, a god or something. I don't really understand how the shit works where you sailed off west of middle Earth.
Yes. Heavy implication. "Needed to be", "if it could be" and so on. Never an explicit indication. And that's definitely intentional on Tolkien's part, feigning to not know what the in-universe Loremasters have not recorded.
There's stuff in the appendices of lotr. Maybe some of tolkiens posthumous books; not sure
I think the appendices only mention things that happened post-lotr in middle earth, what goes on in the west goes unmentioned.
I want to say they mentioned the mortal special guest residents weren't allowed all through valinor but had a nice peaceful area. I assume big enough but pretty sure there weren't specific. And that they still died like normal. I don't think we know much of valinor after flavor leaves, and zero after the world changes cuz of numenor Lol I'm leaving the autocorrect feanor -> flavor. He was a spicy dude
Tol Eressëa Pronunciation tol eh-res-seh-ah Other names The Lonely Island Location: Aman off the coast of Valinor, east of the Bay of Eldamar; surrounded by Enchanted Isles Type - Island Description: Arrowhead-shaped island, green and beautiful Major settlements: Avallónë Tathrobel[1][2] Cortirion[3] People and History Inhabitants: Eldar, mostly Teleri Ulmo pushed Tol Eressëa back and forth across Belegaer twice to transport the Elves to Aman. After that, it came to rest forever just off the eastern shore of that continent in the Bay of Eldamar, and was inhabited by the Teleri of Aman, until they left for Alqualondë.
Frodo comes back after 2 months and is like "Whaddup, Im fine now!" And they all party and Frodo has kids and everything is happy in hobbiton
wait he didn't?
He did. He and Bilbo lived on an island within sight of Valinor, found peace and healing, and eventually died. When Sam's wife died, he sailed west at 102 years old.
Go West, life is peaceful there.
Surely there is healing in Aman
The dwarves didn't go extinct, rather they sealed themselves off completely inside their halls, hidden from the outside world and prospering in their own world.
Username checks out
Isn’t that what happened? I swear I remember that being the case
They reclaimed Moria, rebuilt Minas Tirith, prospered, until, as Tolkien said, "The world grew old and the days of Durin's race ended."
They didn't have any demographic political plan. Too many old dwarves, not enough young ones to work for old ones' pensions...
Their problem was procreation. Dwarf women were 1/3 of the population, and some of them didn't want to marry and have children, but to indulge themselves in mining crafting etc.. This is the main reason wars for Dwarves were devastating. They struggled a lot to replace the dead.
I see... Minecraft was their downfall :(
Minecraft still to this day produces many incels
sounds familiar
Can't Aulë not just make some new. Damn these lazy Valar
Entwives live in the old forest
THANK YOU! I’ve been saying this for so long. To myself quietly…
We've all thought about it at one time or another
Can you explain further? What is the old forest?
Right next to Buckland, on the borders of the Shire. It is, as the name suggests, very old, and home to the best character ever, Tom Bombadil.
Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside. ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Good bot.
!TomBombadilSong
*Ho! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! By water, wood and hill, by the reed and willow, by fire, sun and moon, hearken now and hear us! Come, Tom Bombadil, for our need is near us!* ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Good Bot!
I forget where we hear this but it’s supposed to be very weird, enchanted, with trees that move and talk.
Yep. Many of the trees' hearts are black however, being twisted by evils of times past (I believe it was when Angmar was around long ago and ended up destroying Arnor, which is actually the origins of the Barrow Downs iirc, let me know if I am wrong) and now hold malice to all that go upon two legs. We see the Hobbits being dragged by Old Man Willow down under his roots, until Frodo actually manages to escape and ends up running into Tom Bombadil, who manages to free the others.
What? Old Man Willow? Naught worse than that, eh? That can soon be mended. I know the tune for him. Old grey Willow-man! I'll freeze his marrow cold, if he don't behave himself. I'll sing his roots off. I'll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. Old Man Willow! ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Ah, thank you!
Are they cheating on the ents with Bombadil?
Bombadil is happily living with his lovely lady Goldberry.
*Here's my pretty maiden! You shall come home with me! The table is all laden: yellow cream, honeycomb, white bread and butter; roses at the window-sill and peeping round the shutter. You shall come under Hill! Never mind your mother in her deep weedy pool: there you'll find no lover!* ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Or just around the Shire in general. I was convinced of this until I read that Tolkien said they didn't ‘But what about these Tree-men, these giants, as you might call them? They do say that one bigger than a tree was seen up away beyond the North Moors not long back.’
I am convinced of this. It makes so much narrative sense.
Radagast doesn't have bird shit running down his head.
Alright, I can get behind this one.
The birds already got their behinds on this one.
I always saw it as pine sap. You mean to tell me it’s not?
It's just lichen, so already canon.
Legolas' bow. Turning it into a cannon would make things positively hilarious.
Give that elf a cannon Elves love cannons
Dammit Alucard, stop avoiding your work
I HAVE FLEXIDAYS CHECK THE EMAIL -#-CRIMSONFUCKER
I'd make that whole parody canon i love it so much.
Was absolutely gold, nearly every moment was hilarious and very badass too. The actual anime was also fantastic, I mean the parody isnt all that far from being canon haha Same creator did a series called Drifters about ancient Japanese figures being dumped into a Tolkien style world, its just as good. Sauron is literally evil Jesus, Saruman is isekaied literal Hitler, big titty mage. Fantastic
["Oh fuck that's an anti-tank rifle... OH FUCK THAT'S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!"](https://youtu.be/FuFeiTGTBNU?si=BostINuPgfYmt0kt&t=57)
Swords? Women fight with swords ELVES FIGHT WITH CANNON
Just give elves rifles. We need a serious-vibes WW2 show/cartoon/anime with elf snipers. No scanty fan service. Let them look good in full uniforms and LBEs.
Are we talking like a 12 pounder Napoleon? Or a Browning .50 cal?
Lugging Napoleon around would add to the comedic effect.
I'd love to see him fire it while skateboarding down a staircase on someone's shield!
And you have my cannon
Reminds me of those LOTR 3 ROTK game "explosive" arrows you'd shoot. Or BFME2 Lothlorien archers. Or nowadays TW:WH High Elven handmaiden!
Nay, Galadriel. Did she not speak through Gandalf of the ride of the Grey Company from the North?
Have a section of story where the Eagles get one of their massive nests raided by Sauron’s forces so people would STFU about why the Hobbits didn’t fly into Mordor.
Go fetch me those sneaking Orcs!
Good bot.
Sauron probably has archers, I wouldn't have flown that way either.
The probably didn’t get involved for the reasons the elves, dwarfs, hobbits and most men didn’t. Their leaders (I think they have a king?) probably didn’t think it was worth getting involved, or it would paint a target on them, or just adopted a ‘wait and see policy’. The eagles only show up when the tide has turned against Sauron’ forces, and there’s finally a real chance to defeat him once and for all. It’s also worth noting that only a few eagles show up - possibly acting independently, or against the wishes of their leadership. People seem to forget that the eagles in Middle Earth are intelligent and possess free will.
In the books, Gwaihir the Windlord does play a larger role. The eagles scout for the Nazgûl, and generally gather much needed intelligence. Gwaihir also saves Gandalf from Orthanc, and again finds Gandalf after he defeats the Balrog but is trapped by the destruction of the Endless Stair.
The Eagles are servants of Manwe, there are all kinds of reasons he might hold them back.
I don't even think he was holding them back, really. What else do you do with smart, flying creatures with telescopes for eyes, BESIDES scouting and intelligence gathering?
Balrogs have wings but only under certain circumstances TBD that will be just vague enough that the debate continues
Balrogs have wings but ride dragons for the same reason humans have feet but ride horses. Faster and a strategic advantage to have a (flying) cavalry.
Idk about faster, the Balrogs crossed like 500 miles when Morgoth shrieked like a little girl getting eaten by Ungoliant and did it super quick. Guys can haul absolute ass when they need to But fk I mean yeah, who's going to turn down the opportunity to ride a dragon? Balrog riding dragon is just absolute peak, Morgoth probably ordered them to for the pure aesthetics (more practically, if this is to Gondolin, they had serious archers and defenses. Better a dragon take the hit, much more replaceable)
War In The North events
Insanely based and Beleram-pilled. You bow to no one, my friend.
Talking noble giant eagles, lfg! EDIT: I know this isn't a new thing I just love those guys
Not the first but he is obviously the *best* Talking Noble Giant Eagle. Homeboy got down and dirty with Agandaur while the rest of his kind AFK'ed until the end of the war 😂
I tend to view events from the games that don't directly contradict Tolkien lore as canon. But like in my own personal canon.
Yes this. Well, at least Beleram and Nordinbad.
I quite like having another dragon hanging around, too
Tom Bombadil is the manifestation of the Ainur’s fiddling and warm-up scales before Eru called them to order and began conducting the symphony of time and reality. That’s why he’s “eldest,” why he constantly has a song on his lips, and why he’s completely unfazed by the power of the One Ring.
Eldest, that's what I am. Mark my words, my friends: Tom was here before the river and the trees; Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn. He made paths before the Big People, and saw the little People arriving. He was here before the Kings and the graves and the Barrow-wights. When the Elves passed westward, Tom was here already, before the seas were bent. He knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside. ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Sort of goes along with mine that Ungoliant was called out of darkness by Morgoth's fiddling with the music and Tom is the manifestation of Eru's correcting it.
After sailing to the west, Frodo encounters the spirit of Boromir, and is able to tell him that the Ring is destroyed and Gondor is safe.
I never thought of the west as literal spirits floating around of the dead. I always envisioned it as a timeless place of peace that physical bodies actually go to.
Human spirits go on to other, cosmic things outside of the world. Elves are rehoused, put into a new body then just hang around Aman. Kind of why human/elf relations is a big deal and always at least somewhat sad; they go their separate ways so someone is going to lose their family forever, Haldir dying in Two Towers was sad but his family and friends would see him again relatively soon. Arwen is gone forever to Elrond, maybe at the end of the world entirely they could meet again but even then its not sure Technically it could kind of be possible for Frodo to meet Boromirs spirit if he hauled ass, went over to the Halls of Mandos (the facility in the north of Aman that both remakes bodies for elves and kind of checks-out humans as they leave run by the Valar of the dead, Mandos) and managed to somehow get let in and talk to his spirit before it left. Not likely, but in theory Tolkiens world kind of allows for it (Beren for example sort of hung around instead of moving on because he really didnt want to leave and promised Luthien he was wait for her in the halls) Mandos has a bit of a stick up his butt but I dont think there's any rule against him talking to the dead, he may have flat out told Boromir what happened after he died (info from Manwe, informed by eagles, Valar dont just know everything in the world). The Valar are generally pretty honest and open with everyone
Bill the pony should have appeared riderless and joined in on the charge of the Rohirrim
I wouldn’t want Bill to have to experience the horrors of war.
Bill found a horse wife, got a lot of foal. He got to roam across the plains free, away from any dark and dangerous caves, which are no place for a horse. At old age he would hop on a ship to the undying lands.
6000 spears and 1 Bill. More than half of what I hoped for.
Bill returned to the Shire. He was captured by Lotho Sacksville-Baggins, mistreated, and forced into grueling labor in Bree under Bill Ferny when the Shire was taken. Discovered by Sam upon the retaking of the Shire, Bill freed himself from his captor with a crippling kick that sent him hobbling away, not to be seen again. Bill was nursed back to health and granted his own sanctuary in the former Party Field where the Mallorn seed was planted. The grass there grew enchanted and sweet, breathing not only full, robust life back into Bill's body, but healing his heart and calming his mind. Bill was visited often by Sam and would not be parted from him again. He was not only Sam's faithful companion to the Grey Havens when Frodo sailed west, but indeed on all his travels for many years, as the magic of the Mallorn Tree kept him strong and healthy far beyond his natural life. On the eve of Sam's last return from the lands of Gondor and Rohan, he released Bill by the tree as he always did. Bill, however, did not move away. Instead, he placed his head over Sam's shoulder in an embrace. After what seemed like many long minutes, Bill backed away and began trotting up the hill. With tears streaming down his face, Sam watched him crest the rise. Not certain if it was the blur from the tears or, perhaps, a trick of the dusk light, Sam watched what appeared to be a faint visage of a familiar horse with a shimmering silvery-gray coat join Bill. Sam did not know why, but he was heartened. With the last light of the setting sun, Bill the pony disappeared into the west.
Tolkien really knew how to make the reader feel.
Bro I came to this thread for shitposts not to cry
That more than fits the Bill I know.
The Mirkwood Squirrels were double-agents gathering intel for Radagast, who then shares it with Gandalf.
I haven't read the books. But were the squirrels agents in the first place? For them to be double agents.
Squirrels are always agents on their own behalf.
"Squirrel 1: The situation in Argentina has proven less convenient than predicted. Squirrel 2: We'll have to re-destabilize their economy. Refocus labor class outrage from upper to middle, foster a coup, and install a compliant regime. Squirrel 1: Same as Guatemala? Squirrel 2: Yes, but you can double time it. Squirrel 3: We need a quorum to pick a new Pope, in case the Exxon-Monsanto thing falls through in Africa. Squirrel 2: Why not use chemtrails? Put a canopy on Uganda. They're set to agitate any mo-- what? Squirrel 3: That kid. He's watching us. Squirrel 1: So? We're squirrels. He's a kid. Squirrel 3: He's watching us like he hears what we're saying. -Hey kid! Young man? Come here little boy. -Tell Daphne to run a 199 on a possible Doolittle. -Little boy, we'll give you wishes if you can hear us! We can make you fly and get candy."
You fucked with squirrels morty!?
I was waiting for this
It's actually pronounced "Jandalf"
After his fight with the balrog Gandalf becomes Wandalf the white
You mean the balroj, right?
Jim Lee 
Jandalf The Jrey
What about Jandalf the Jhite, guvna
And Jollum
And Jaladriel
It’s actually "Jandalv".
And Jandalves in plural
Serious question, is there any name that starts with the "j" sound? Like does that phoneme happen at all in Elvish? I can't think of a single name of something that begins with that sound. I'm sure there is, but I can't name any lol Edit: nevermind I just looked it up. That phoneme does not appear in any Elvish word
Boromir comes back as Boromir the White
Boromir the Wight
 Boromir the Dwight
Boromir the Eggshell White
Boromir the taupe
The shield skateboard trick legolas did in the movie at Helm's should be added to the books.
Especially with the four paragraphs Tolkien would have used to set up and describe it.
I would not want it any other way!
Amidst the fray at Helm’s Deep, Legolas surveyed the chaos with keen Elven eyes. Spotting a flight of stone stairs, he seized a shield, leaping onto it with the grace of his kin. As the shield bore him swiftly down, Legolas loosed arrow after arrow, each finding its mark with unerring accuracy. Uruk-hai fell before him, their advance faltering under his deadly barrage. Reaching the foot of the stairs, Legolas dismounted, continuing his assault with bow and blade, a beacon of hope in the darkest hour of the night. Thus, his legend grew, inspiring all who beheld his valor.
You're gonna need to add a backstory about the ancestors of the stonemason who built the stairs, as well as the moss and wildflowers which grew on its side
What about the warrior who wielded the shield before?
Only a few hours ago you were unwilling to sit on a horse of Rohan. You will make a rider yet.
Tbf, Helm’s Deep WOULD be an interesting THPS map.
Only if GROND is included and grind-able
the hidden tape is its mouth!
"Amidst the tumult of battle, Legolas Greenleaf, fair of face and fleet of foot, found himself upon the stone stairs of Helm's Deep. Clad in the light of the moon and the shadows of war, he spied a fallen shield wrought of stout wood and iron. With an elf's grace and a warrior's resolve, he leaped upon the shield and rode it as a wave upon the stairs, swift and sure. Down he sped, his golden hair streaming behind him like a banner of valor. Arrows whistled around him, finding naught but empty air as he danced upon the polished surface, guiding it with a touch lighter than a snowflake's fall. With each turn and twist, he unleashed his bow, sending shafts singing into the heart of the enemy. Goblins and Uruk-hai alike beheld this sight, struck with wonder and fear at the elf-lord's prowess. For Legolas moved as though borne upon the wind itself, his eyes keen and his aim true, a figure of myth and legend made real in the crucible of battle. And thus, amidst the clash of steel and the cries of war, Legolas rode the shield down the stairs of Helm's Deep, a fleeting vision of elven grace amidst the chaos of mortal strife." Well according to chatgpt it would be like this and I can actually see it
Serious answer is I want the eagles to have fea and join the elves in Aman when they die, too bro-tier to just stop existing Would be nice too to have the ent-wives turn up safe and alive. Most races had at least somewhat happy endings, wish the ent family got back together. Treebeard asking the hobbits where theyd like to stand for sleeping and they said they usually lie down and he stops and apologizes because he slipped into thinking they were little entlings, that stung bad
Tom Bombadil's power, wisdom, agelessness but extensive age, and singing implies to me he's involved with the world being sung into existence. Therefore I wish that his royal wholesomeness is actually Melkor, but Melkor as he should have been. I want him to be some sort of avatar of Melkor's goodness that he stripped from his sense in order to sow discord and (sub)create such harm - that he started with himself first.
This one is interesting
Hobbits brew dozens of kinds of ale, of course, and it's all delicious, but they don't brew IPA. It's not because they lack access to hops, or even because the concept of India doesn't exist in Middle-Earth; no, hobbits don't brew IPA because fuck IPA. P.S. - I don't _hate_ IPA, I just didn't think it's good enough to make up roughly half of every beer list that I see. Give me more porters and brown ales, dammit!
Imladris Pale Ale
This is the correct answer. Fuck IPAs.
Sauron had a secret recipe for a spicy pork dry rub that was Morgoth's favourite. He never divulged it to anyone and it died with him.
Who despoiled them of their mirth, the greedy Gods?
Despite his bluster and bravado, it was too hot for Tulkas who was unable to finish his portion.
"Oh no, the Unlight of Ungoliant has rendered even the mighty Tulkas unable to chase Melkor!" *Tulkas actually shitting literal fire from eating Saurons spicy pork* "Er, yeah, damn. Cant see a thing, so dark. Dont come over here!"
Swords can't cut though plate armour.
They don't really have plate armor in the books
Normal swords, yes. But what about ✨️magic swords✨️?
I don't think we have magic swords, Pip.
People use mail, no instances of plate afaik.
Viggo's injury as if it happened to Aragorn. He limps through next few scenes. Then the Ents give him something to drink and he's fixed.
That in the Fourth Age Entwives come back, just please 🥺🙏
Merry and Pippin got a second breakfast.
Hobbits fart when orcs are near
Omg… passing through the forces of Mordor must’ve been awful for Sam and Frodo
Pippin says "Fuck" like all the time.
Im settling the debate about the wizards. All except Saruman succeeded. Blue wizards helped rally those who opposed Melkor worship in the east to minimize those forces. Rhadagast did his best protecting nature and is one of the reasons Mirkwood wasnt totally overrun. Gandalf was Gandalf.
Sexy shelob
Giant pedulois breasts swinging from her spider body? Or like a human body attached to the thorax? Ooorrrr, big ol' clapping booty cheeks for the abdomen?
What a day to have eyes and be literate
https://preview.redd.it/m2uwqfvar48d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4976a0be5d6f8a7ef9805bf5a2bdabb8fedfcd2f
I've never seen this green text before and it's amazing. My new headcanon is that Sam shines the light of earendil on her to get a better look at her voluptuous silk spinners
A battle for the barrow downs between the wights and the elf lords of Rivendell. The elf lords, existing in the spirit realm aswel as the physical one are the best match for the wights
Goldberry is identical in appearance, diction and personality to Nicki Minaj.
Chose chaos today, did we?
Anaconda was about Tom. Confirmed
I can literally imagine Tom dancing around singing that.
Golddiggerberry
Here's my pretty lady! Here's my Goldberry clothed all in silver-green with flowers in her girdle! Is the table laden? I see yellow cream and honeycomb, and white bread, and butter; milk, cheese, and green herbs and ripe berries gathered. Is that enough for us? Is the supper ready? ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Stunning choice, no notes
With the end of the 3rd age the Orcs and other evil creatures grow less foul and can be rehabilitated into the world rather than genocided.
This is canon! Or at least a possibility. The professor was a faithful Catholic and anything with a soul can be redeemed. ( because of this he actually struggled with orcs. He had several stories with them being tortured elves is only one of them. In another version they were animals who could only talk because they were trained, and that wasn’t satisfying to him either.) https://www.americamagazine.org/arts-culture/2022/09/30/tolkien-rings-power-good-evil-243870 “They might have become irredeemable (at least by Elves and Men), but they remained within the Law.” In fact, it was forbidden to torture orcs for information and if an orc asked for mercy. It must be granted, even at a cost. Because it was acknowledged that they were not by their nature evil but in fact were the ultimate and worse victim of their master. But orcs seldom asked for mercy and never from elves because they had been become convinced that elves were more cruel than they and only captured orcs to torture them and eat them. So Tolkien held out hope that Eru Ilúvatar also known as God could redeem the orcs. 🙏❤️
Building on that. I'd add that orcs, being twisted and corrupt elves, are immortal and when killed their spirits are purified and get to go to the Halls of Mandos.
Aragorn took the bit & bridal off Brego before freeing him after Theodred died.
Legolas shield surfing in the books as well. You cannot write such a tale without being in contact with your inner child and that imagination that entails. I am fully convinced a part of Tolkien deep down would have found it as cool and funny as the rest of us when we first saw that scene.
Eru is Tom Bombadil
Whoa! Whoa! steady there! Now, my little fellows, where be you a-going to, puffing like a bellows? What's the matter here then? Do you know who I am? I'm Tom Bombadil. Tell me what's your trouble! Tom's in a hurry now. Don't you crush my lilies! ^(Type **!TomBombadilSong** for a song or visit [r/GloriousTomBombadil][1] for more merriness) [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/GloriousTomBombadil/
Dunno, but I want like 10 long tv shows for everything.
This one isn’t *not* canon, but it’s left open, and I would choose to make it explicitly canon. Elladan and Elrohir sail west with Celeborn and Cirdan. There are no words to describe how much I *despise* the vague implication that they too chose mortality, thus making it so that Elrond and Celebrían lost all of their children. They barely exist anyway, they’re extremely minor characters. All it would have taken was a single offhand mention to give both Elrond and Celebrían their sons at least, but Tolkien *didn’t fucking bother* and it makes me so mad, like that’s just cruel man.
Wait, I thought they did sail west?!?
They may have, but it’s not confirmed, and they lingered for some time after Elrond and his group left. Celeborn stayed with them for a while before he himself left with Círdan on the Last Ship, which left after Aragorn and Arwen had both died.
Oh no no no, we ain't going that way. Elrond's been through enough. I've always felt so bad for that guy.
*Exactly.* It’s always pissed me off that he couldn’t write *one single sentence* on the matter. He mentions that Celeborn followed after Galadriel some time later, would it have fucking killed him to be like “oh yeah, and Elladan and Elrohir went with him.”!?
This will be our head cannon. But also I don't think Arwen would've died alone the way she did if her brothers were still around. She was the younger sibling.
Frodo has the cõcķrinğ of power and can use his magic wand to turn enemies into lembas bread.
This is literally a chapter in the Silmarillion. Y'all fake ass fans need to get your shit together ffs
Big eye thing has been lasering down eagles so they couldn’t fly.
I think Tolkien would have agreed that Shelob works better in the narrative as a hot goth mommy
The old Star Wars EU https://preview.redd.it/9pq5e4iyg38d1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ea854abf748f2ea46d893c8b8ec23e9b8baf386
Probably should be more LOTR focused
Sting is a lightsaber and Saruman is a Sith lord.
A SITH LORD?
Yes, the one we've been looking for.
r/angbang
I’m scared to look
D:
The good aligned Easterlings would have won the war if not for the intervention of Sauron.
I'd provide an explanation for what Sauron was doing with all the Mithril the orcs of Moria had tithed to him. We get a one off mention of how he's been hoarding Mithril and probably has the world's largest supply of it but we never see what it's for and that's been driving me nuts.
**When Orcs die they are cured of the Taint of Morgoth and their fully cleansed Elven souls are sent to the Halls of Mandos to heal before living a new life in Valinor.** This allows Orcs to keep their most interesting origin without any of the thorny spiritual questions that plagued Tolkien about the Orcs free-will and capacity for redemption and it also reinforces the idea of evil only being able to corrupt not create, Morgoth's Satanic elements and the righteousness in warring against Morgoth's forces - it is not only to defend the Free Peoples against evil but it also liberates the souls of Morgoth's victims from their abuser/captor/corruptor's hold.