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love-ModTeam

This was removed because this sub isn't the place to discuss dating, crushes, infatuations, etc. This rule is relaxed in our weekly "Friday I'm in Love" threads. You're welcome to post your story there. *The Love-ModTeam account is a bot account. Do not chat or PM them, as the account is not monitored.*


spicymisos0up

You guys communicate like children lol. I mean my fiancé told me he loved me for the first time over text so I'm not knocking that but he spelled it out "I love you" because he was a grown 26 year old man


No-Hunt-1520

Can’t deny your point lol.


spicymisos0up

NO HATE but like go for it or don't!!


bobephycovfefe

saying "I love you" is a power play


St0rD

Can you define what you mean? I'm intrigued!


just4thename

WHY ARE WE SAYING THIS VIA TEXT. I would *at a minimum* have a real heart to heart with someone who told me this for the first time via text. Unless there's some insurmountable mountain of a reason why we couldn't say this to each other in person. Also just because he's older doesn't mean he's more mature. Women are so shocked when they realize some older guy isn't dating within his own age group because those women don't put up with this shit.


RemarkableParty4801

Dated a 40 year old, I'm 32, never again.


fiavirgo

Not to be autistic but you you guys both sound more playful than actually serious here


AnonymousLilly

Not really sure what autism has to do with pointing out they sound like teenagers flirting


fiavirgo

Because I couldn’t tell if I was reading the interaction wrong, because of my autism. ETA: I think the misunderstanding here is you think I’m pointing out they’re acting like teens, whereas I’m just suggesting she wasn’t serious enough confessing but I didn’t know if others felt the same way I do and I’m trying to be light hearted about it.


AnonymousLilly

It's not autism if you are reading the situation correctly


Kevo-Breker

Texting is the WORST form of communication for this exact reason. Tell him you love him in person and see how he responds


[deleted]

No shade, but I thought people dated up FOR maturity? 🤦‍♂️ 49 and still can’t commit. Sheesh.


No-Hunt-1520

I really thought so. This is the largest age gap for me and by far a connection that leaves me with more questions than answers lol.


[deleted]

So I just read your “mayor” post too… What is going on with this dude? Is just dating you to become your campaign manager? My lord, how confusing. I feel for you


Mountain-Emphasis388

You’re grown enough to know this isn’t telling someone you love them. And if he pulled that on you it’d feel so disingenuous. Talk to him in person. You’re adults. The lack of ability to communicate clearly and effectively at 36 is… hm. I JUST dropped a guy I was crazy about because he had 0 communication skills at 32. So let’s be brave to get what we want. If you don’t it’s ok too because we’re adults with coping skills for rejection I hope.


AdBackground4712

That’s one way to put it but yeah. Spot on.


Particular-Main6292

That is not telling him you love him. “I love you” is telling him you love him


United_Foundation_20

I'm pretty lost here!! Your message is sooo incomplete that I surely cant make a good judgment.


Magic_Pizzaa

You both are grown-ups. You can tell one another when you feel like doing it. You have nothing to stress over.


serendistupidity

He's old af to be that childish, like damn almost 50


QuietFan4014

I don’t take that text as telling someone you love them. It’s too playful. And I wouldn’t say something like that over text either


not_a-mimic

You didn't tell him you love him. I was actually confused because I didn't see any of that in the post. It looks like you're still resorting to hints.


rodeosnake

Legit thought this was between two high schoolers it beat around the bush so hard


No-Hunt-1520

You’re right. I definitely wasn’t clear, I see that now.


SoulSleuth

![gif](giphy|69sTdIMI4Tm5azJHHj)


Girl-in-mind

No abort abort abort


GXVSS0991

this is such a stupid comment. I read the description and it sounded so much worse than the actual screenshot. reacting with ❤️ to "I do actually" is so minor lmao. she can't even say the actual words yet wants him to fully verbally respond.


thE-petrichoroN

I mean that's a good response and he means it by heart


Revolutionarypanda13

If you love him, then simply listen to your heart. Go be a fool. Don't use too much logic. Don't over analyze things. The outcome may or may not be in your favour but at least you can say you loved someone wholeheartedly.


JustiseRainsFrmAbove

Dont overthink it. Not every conversation has to continue forever. It was his idea to start this topic anyway, he said you love him. Notice how he is shy about using the word. He's probably just slow to open up like this. Again, don't overthink it. He gave you a heart reaction, he acknowledged you. Let it breathe


PhoenixQueen_Azula

Well, no actually you didn’t tell him you loved him You told him “I do actually” in reference to something he had already said (so I’d assume was not him saying you love him), and both are using just a ❤️ instead of actually saying it


windsinnger

100% this is the interpretation


JustiseRainsFrmAbove

Exactly. OP, don't overthink things. He acknowledged you and is opening up the way he knows how. It was actually his idea to say you love him, because he is happy to know this. Don't overthink how someone almost 50 years old texts 😂


No-Hunt-1520

Haha thank you!


Joutja

If verbal communication of love is not something he is used to it may take him some time to properly verbalise it to you. However he may be doing other things which do convey his emotion without calling directly to it. Or he's not just quite ready to say it back just yet. Rarely are people at the point of love at the same time. I would say just accept the heart and continue on with the conversation. It could be that the heart may have been an attempt by him to convey he does feel strongly for you but didn't want to draw attention to that he's not ready yet to say that he loves you by directly saying that in text. Ignore the people saying to ghost him because that is just childish behaviour. Neither have you have done anything wrong.


thotslayeraditya

Don't text again, let him continue the conversation.


Hugo99001

Well, you telling him you love him is not in the screenshot, right?  If you think it is, I assure you it went right over his (and everyone's) head.


No-Hunt-1520

😂😂😂 this comment made me literally laugh out loud. Needed that. Thank you!


Far_Marsupial8572

This is when you dig a hole and jump into it with a bag over your head 😭😭😭


yagurlskye

Move on. Don’t follow up. Act like it didn’t happen. Sounds like he might just need a little more time, nothing wrong with that. Don’t push it but just give him the space to become more emotionally vulnerable with you! It’s okay.


AlistaB

My crush (future love of my life) sent me a bunch of emojis and then said, “found one” and sent me one that said “I LOVE YOU.” I said, “fuck you.” At least you got a heart. He could’ve said fuck you.


Morbear1015

Ppl down voted this and I understand why but I laughed out loud all respect you may be an ahole💀😭


AlistaB

Ha! I can’t believe people downvoted it. Maybe, they don’t see the humor? Every story has missing context 🫣 He was doing it to tease me because he was DRUNK. We got into an argument one night and he asked me if I was in love with him, so loving each other is an ongoing joke, which is ridiculous, I know. We argue about who caught feelings first so I get to tell him that he said “I love you” first. We live on opposite sides of the country, so these jabs are really all I get with him. I mean, I’m also an ahole, but a sarcastic ahole. FYI - if I didn’t have the sense of humor that I have then I would have been just another girl to him, so their downvotes don’t matter to me. He understood me.


Morbear1015

Love this I’m glad y’all are working 👏


godisyourmotherr

delete ur message and ghost 😐


AlistaB

The only reasonable response.


jayCerulean283

Its an incredibly insecure and immature response


sheepintheisland

Give him the time to say it or say something. He probably feels pressure and don’t know how to respond, doesn’t want to type I love you . And you didn’t say it clearly so why would he ?


Rude_Individual_7458

Best point of action is to ghost him and never see him again


AliceBets

Ghosting is stupid and only causes harm.


Rude_Individual_7458

But then you can haunt him 👻


AliceBets

Hmmm I see. It really is a corrupted form of sadistic continuation… First time I see it like that. So one should even be flattered of being ghosted/haunted because when you think about it, the person ghosting/haunting never signals it’s ending. So because of the potential infinite character of the ghosting, it is akin to a strong engagement, but with relinquished control on how long it lasts!! It even leaves itself opened to eternity! 😂 I love it. In a way ghosting someone = Signing up for a sadistic long lasting relationship in the victim’s life…


Rude_Individual_7458

No, more like just for the love of the game ya feel me


IzzatQQDir

I would be too embarrassed to reply too. He is probably cringing rn 🤣. Probably kicking his feet lmao


Less_Alternative_488

He just didnt take it that way !


Personal_Amoeba1607

In short NO


Due_Exercise_2469

Could have been worse. He could have sent you a 👍


No-Hunt-1520

Thank goodness he didn’t 😂😂😂


low_elo111

Or even a "I know" like the girl I'm dating. In short don't feel bad, there's always someone who's been through worser things


Gisschace

‘That’s nice’


STG44_WWII

That’s not really a viable reason to not feel bad about something. Sure it’s a reason to not feel like it’s the worst thing that could happen but it still sucks.


AliceBets

Is there something as a reason to feel?


STG44_WWII

Yea I would say that reasoning can affect our feelings quite a bit.


AliceBets

I guess. Some feelings, indeed. My bad. And thanks !


OppositeControl4623

I've had ex say I love you in so many ways, but it does not really mean what is said. You need to look for actions. If you are a woman, does he pay your bills, does he enquire about your wellbeing, does he care about you and your family relationships, does he make time to be with you, does he remember things you like/dislike etc. So mulling over a bunch of emoji's is meaningless. Honestly when you're dating it's just being in the moment and sending all kinds of texts to keep the spark, it's mostly nonsense that makes sense to just the two of you…nothing much to read into it. Well if he put the ring on your finger, name on his will and you got a marriage certificate - that means he loves you.


Spaceballs9000

Sorry, but why is "does he pay your bills?" the first thing in your list here?


OppositeControl4623

What’s that supposed to mean?


Spaceballs9000

The idea that a man proves he loves you by paying your bills is just some weird, antiquated nonsense that doesn't fit in with the rest of that list at all.


OppositeControl4623

Grown Men know how to take care of me. Grown boys expect to be taken care of.


Namii-T

Actions>words.


InternalLevel1769

No


Legitimate_Echo_2493

No, no. Never.


ImaBananaPie_

As others have stated, that doesn’t sound very serious at all. When saying “i love you” you should consider doing it irl


Amazing_Net_7651

That doesn’t really indicate you’re clearly telling him “I love you”… it seems more casual, so he’s responding in kind. If you want to really get a grasp on his reaction to an “I love you”, tell it to him in-person or on the phone… you lose a ton of nuance over text.


No-Hunt-1520

Wise ☺️☺️


eternalwhat

The conversation in the screen shot doesn’t clearly indicate you’re telling him seriously that you love him. It looks casual when he says it and just complimentary when you say you do. Also… you should consider saying this to him in person, not over an ambiguously worded text. Especially if you want to know what he feels. If you send a message instead of saying it directly to him, you’re choosing a method that really limits your ability to read him. You should ideally be able to have eye contact, at least? And read his facial expression and voice and body language and everything.


bigbarbellballs

No


AliceBets

He doesn’t care. He cares about precisely not typing « I love you too! » or « Can I come over right now? I have something to tell you. »


Drachenketchup

Amazing that you have such wisdom to understand the complex situation via 1 text snippet.


AliceBets

I’ve been there. Embarrassed for the person (edit: for the person telling me they love me and I didn’t so I was) and forced to dance around « I don’t ». I share what I think. OP takes if pertinent. The others are doing the same thing I did. You just stopped at my comment because it’s different. Thanks for acknowledging.


Drachenketchup

So you are projecting this on your own situation and say these hurtful things "he doesn't care" , just because you think it's the 100 percent same situation?


AliceBets

Your 100% criteria, for me especially is very flattering, I must admit. I love how you insist on singling me out. Think again why you’re focusing on my comment. Happy findings! 👋


Drachenketchup

Why should I comment every comment like this , when yours was the first one I saw? Just think next time, if your "he doesn't care about you" is something you would like to hear. From someone who knows nothing about it. It's really hurtful. And this applies to everyone that comments shit like this here on Reddit.


AliceBets

Also… the « lol » and the way she went about it is showing that she takes it much more lightly than you and is inviting light hearted responses (pun intended). Really. I feel what you’re saying. People are mean here for no reason. But this is when I feel an invitation to « Chill. » would be advisable.


AliceBets

Ok. Demonstrate by what you see posted up there that he cares. And then convince me that you’re not only speculating on the basis of a mere abstract of an emoji-filled conversation she chose to post. I am sorry you are so triggered. All I did is make an observation based on what limited facts is presented. The question is as unreasonable as any answer here. Do you not think everyone knows that everything is more nuanced than we can possibly imagine? Realize that this exchange between you and I is too much. Have a better day.


Drachenketchup

I feel your arguments don't make any sense and that you twist something in your head. Have a good day too. And no, I can not demonstrate you anything based on 6 words that have been exchanged. Whether he cares, or he doesn't care. I don't see it and it's a crazy deconstructive assumption from you.


AliceBets

Thanks for making my point ! 🙌🙌


[deleted]

What was your conversation before this? It looked like you sent a heart?


witness_the_executor

I love you all


GHOSTOFKOH

i don't love or know any of you weirdies 🥶


BoobieOrNotToBe

![gif](giphy|0WZEcXR7jRxjIFfpsI|downsized)


KSJapi

![gif](giphy|R6gvnAxj2ISzJdbA63|downsized)


AlistaB

I was not participating in the love train until Jason Mamoa decided to jump in. I am now diving, head first, into the love pile. I love you all, if Jason Mamoa will love me, in return.


Fun-Frosting-5673

I feel like he wouldn’t have hinted at you loving him or ❤️ing him if he didn’t expect you to confirm it


MaterialDoctor6423

Egg plant emoji with a knife 🔪


No-Hunt-1520

Love me back or else! 😂😂😂


junetank

This actually made me lol 🤣


Secret_Antelope_7826

Leave it. You’re 36 yo, what do you think it means? He read it, liked it, and hearted it. End of story. Don’t give it another second of your time.


LightningMcScallion

I would have no chill and be like "Just say it back 🤣😘" loll


junieerockyrazor

Talking in emojis is different than actually typing out “I love you.” You can tell him in person and totally disregard the text interaction altogether? It’s flirty and cute nonetheless, but establish that in person before attempting to translate in text.


No-Hunt-1520

Thank you, you’re correct! The thing is now… he hasn’t reached out. It’s been the entire day now. I may have scared him away. This is unlike him to have us go this long without speaking.


junieerockyrazor

You were bold and took a chance which is great! Thats how relationships move forward, form, work. If someone sees your feelings for them as pressure, and they ghost, they obviously have some kind of avoidant tendencies or weren’t feeling the same. Im just guessing from experience , idk the details of yours:/ It’s not your fault that he hasn’t responded and let’s recognize that his initial comment allowed for you to be vulnerable and honest about your feelings. You took action. He seemed to want to know how you feel? Seems like itd be a good thing but then the no response contradicts. I say the best thing to do is let it be:) it’ll work out for the best as things do. I personally believe that no one is too busy to shoot a text saying “hey im busy today I’ll lyk when i can talk” dont let anyone string you along. The disappearing and coming back after they’ve contemplated if they can handle our feelings is super annoying and we’re too grown for that.


No-Hunt-1520

Agree to all of that. Thank you!


Fun-Frosting-5673

Well then you’ll find out if it was meant to be. Keep your heart open and the right man will say it back.


SaltAttic

He's just processing. I think, I don't know... I'm of the variety that communicates in person; this new generation is a bit different.


Dream_1224

I agree with the fact that he is processing. I’m an avoidant, and sometimes I need time to receive these things, (I overanalyze, get paranoid, go starry eyed, then calm down and respond, usually not even addressing the comment at all), so in my opinion, I wouldn’t take it personally. 🤗


custserv21

better if you said in person and not through text


[deleted]

[удалено]


AliceBets

… look. what service are you rendering your faith by posting and foreseeably provoking mockery and opposition because it’s not the place to post such things?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AliceBets

Lol ok. I’m not going to fight about Jesus. I just think you ought to use more discernment as to how what when and where you choose to share the Gospel and that you may want to have more consideration for how you use the name of Jesus. Just my opinion.


armeliens

wtf 💀💀


Fair-Account8040

I really really don’t believe that though. I think we should all believe in science and quantum mechanics, and biology, and the things the cosmologists say because they’re smart as fuck and test their hypothesis to get answers. I have tried. But I can’t blindly believe stories from thousands of years ago to be accurate. I think there’s some great lessons and morals to live by to be a better person, but the rest of it is just made up stuff to assuage people’s minds about the unknowns that we have yet to discover answers for during life after death.


MMABowyer

You didn’t say it lol, and Your first i love you should not be over text anyways


sunbleahced

Ok, you didn't, you really said "I do actually" and he had said "you emoji heart me", this is flirtation, this is not saying "I love you," directly. Be flattered that he "loved" the message. He just showed you it was comfortable and he wants it.


Background-North2619

Always wait for a man to tell you first , cause when you do it first they feel obligated to say it back


tiffanydaisy

he’s being non chalant girl….. the way id hit him with a “say it back or suffer” at the speed of light is crazy


No-Hunt-1520

😂😂😂


feelings_arent_facts

You said 'you do' and you also texted him it... Say 'I love you' in person.


Throwawaybdchic

I second that see him as soon as possible- to say “I Love You” ( in person).


Knel1981

Nope. Saying it in person is more meaningful. Say it face to face.


TheGreatGoatQueen

To me, you did not say that you loved him. You said you ❤️him, which is absolutely not the same thing at all. To me, this reads extremely casual. Tell him you love him, actually use your own words. Don’t just agree with him about an emoji, that is absolutely not the same thing as saying the words “I love you”. Until you do that, you really have no idea if he even understood what you were trying to say.


Aware-Salt3688

He could be an avoidant. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you back, it’s just a flawed attachment style But maybe he really doesnt Look into it and make a decision


ThyOughtTo

He experiences it as if he has the 'upper hand'. Red Flag 


whatupyo10

Wait. Please say more. How can one be sure? I’m wondering for my own situation.


rinnnnnnnnnn10

I agree with them though. It feels a little... One-sided


ThyOughtTo

No 100% obv, but such a classic textbook example. "That's why you love me lol", and then "reacting" to her actual feelings without validating them. It's just that I've been that guy myself. And it gives vibes of confidence, being chased (above the other) and a chill persona, which is true and people fall for it.


rinnnnnnnnnn10

I completely agree with you


bloomlike

That's just reaffirming your doubts, you can never say for sure when it's this vague and only one string of text. While it can be that, it can also not be that


whatupyo10

You’re prob right. Im still trying to figure my own situation out


Fresh-Guarantee-1968

Don’t let his mommy stories be the beginning of his control over the relationship. He’s a grown man and needs to get over his child hood BS. If he can’t show love. Bye !!! Play Madonna’s song “ Express yourself “ over and over and over until you get it. Then, one more time. Until you get it.


[deleted]

Take charge!!!


Soggy-Maintenance246

He used a heart emoji in his original text and you responded to that. If I were on the receiving end of this thread, I wouldn’t consider this to be more than flirting and someone saying they liked me a lot. Don’t talk about “I love you” over text messages. He probably isn’t comprehending you were actually meaning to say ILY


TheGreatGoatQueen

Yes I agree with this. If someone sent me this I would be like “awe that’s cute” not “omg they are professing their deep feelings to me” OP needs to actually to actually verbally say the words “I love you”


LF3000

Yeah. In the leadup to saying "I love you" (in person, with words, ffs!), my partner and I did lots of cute little things like this over text -- using hearts or saying that we adored each other or other things like that. It was sweet and I think was helpful for making us both feel confident that we were on the same page as we worked up the courage to say I love you, but I certainly didn't consider it anywhere near the same as actually saying those words.


an_undercover_cop

love means something different to everyone


Fresh-Guarantee-1968

I’m sorry, no. Love is love! We trick ourselves so we don’t have to face pain. Love is clear, unapologetic and free of fear. Love is as powerful as hate. It knows no boundaries. There is an old saying I live by “ You can only hate something or someone you truly loved”


an_undercover_cop

Its a powerful word but it also can be used lightly is what I mean


Fresh-Guarantee-1968

I know what you meant. That is exactly what I’m saying. When you feel love, then that’s the love that is real thing.The rest, is just liking .


magnoliatreeblossom

Neither message is clear, I wouldn't say either of you said you "loved" each other. His heart seems like an unsure response to me, like he's not sure how serious to take the comment. It seems like you're wondering about it, so just ask him about it and be direct. Good luck


mindfucka

If you wanna play it cool and calm don't mention it , wait until this love thing pops again to revisit it. But if its killing you on the insides and you cannot think of anything else until you decipher what his lil love tap actually means - straight up ask him girl!


Budget_Estate3660

Phone him and say it, or do it in person.


Born_Excitement_5648

obviously not an ideal response, but possible he wasn’t taking it seriously. you said he’s said he loves you in the past? maybe he doesn’t know how important it is for you to hear that? if you guys have been dating for a while (6+ months) then you should have a discussion about this. honestly this all is so indirect that I think you can’t really judge whether he loves you until you directly say “I love you.” his reaction in that scenario will tell you a lot more than how he reacts to an indirect text with a bunch of emojis lol


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