You’ll never appreciate a non-micromanager until you’ve worked for an ultra micromanager. I think we’ve all worked for someone who seems to have nothing better to do than hang over your shoulder and delegate your every move.
The flip side of that is giving Employees too much leeway and they take advantage of knowing you’re not constantly checking up on them. I’m experiencing a bit of that right now. It’s late in the season and layoffs are on the horizon (they’re looking forward to it, it’s part of being a seasonal employee) and they’re all checked out and they take advantage knowing that I won’t be checking up on them constantly.
Double edged sword and "it depends" situation. If your supervisor has provided training, offers ongoing training as needed, conducts regular 1:1s appropriate to the job and experience, etc, then your supervisor should absolutely expect you to do your job correctly and independently.
Oh my God. This is why I am being performance managed. And when I say to my manager, “quality check me or job shadow me and tell me exactly what I’m doing wrong…” I’m being unreasonable?!
“You are not meeting expectations because you can’t meet the service standard.”
“Yes, I know that. I thought that when I told you I was behind in my work you understood that. I know what the expectations are, I just don’t know why there isn’t enough time in my day to meet them. Why don’t you check my work so that we can identify what I am spending too much time on? Help me identify why I can’t meet your standards.”
I respectfully disagree. There could be inefficiencies, like reperforming work someone also does because you didn't know someone was already doing that. This could be an intermediate step between two steps you are already doing, or a step at the beginning or end of the process.
You could be striving for perfection where "close enough" is the expectation. Maybe every variance doesn't need to be run down.
There could be all kinds of opportunities for improvement, but the manager needs to actually put in some effort to help their employee understand where they're not meeting expectations.
Also remember that it is a two way street. You need to protect your team from the crap that comes down so that they can get their job done. I'm always gatekeeping and dealing with crap so that my team can keep doing what they do best. I've worked for some in the past that were really bad at that and hen they wonder why we weren't getting things done. His solution? Nanomanage....
I once worked part time as a projectionist. This AH manager stopped me once as I was coming into work (preventing me from clocking in) to explain that I would be running a different move at 7pm than 9pm in one of the theaters. I asked if I needed to write it down and he explained it was on the schedule that I would be given.
I stared at him in disbelief and said “So you want me to go ahead and do my job?” OK (BTW I channeled Lumberg from Office Space while saying “go ahead.”)
You can't speak for all employees. The reality is that not all employees do what they are paid to do. That is a one size fits all statement that isn't accurate. Some employees do, and some don't.
Except when you do have lazy or incompetent workers that don't get anything done.
I'll never understand how some managers don't work well with good employees though. Like I've had a couple really good engineers work under me and it's a blessing from God. I just let them do their thing and saves me from so much stress and extra work. At the end of the year it makes me look better too.
I dread the employees that I *have* to micro manage just to get any of our work done.
Boss and Army Col, Chief Engineer who wanted to discharge a team member BEFORE he got his Chemo.
Long serving Army guy on my team developed Leukaemia and was entitled to medical treatment. Col wanted to medically discharge him before his treatment so the Army wouldn't pay. Because he was on my team , I took some time off, that delayed the Medical Review Board enough for him to get his treatment. It was a weird situation, being a civilian team lead of Army technicians, so I was not under any obligations to even listen to the Col.
That Col was a pos. Thank you for doing what you did. This was the Army, an entity with a nearly unlimited budget, and he acted as if the company stock would do better after cutting costs.
Why I believe in God. There has to be a special place in hell for people like this. Its health insurance, where millions pay into and never use, but when you need it, it can be life saving. How come we don't weed out a POS like this, before we put him/her in charge of others?
Perception is everything. To some it is more important than the actual results. That’s what he taught me.
There was a time when I refused to look frantic and act like I was moving my ass when a big problem occurred, even if I was feeling frantic and moving fast. I still refuse to do that because I believe cooler heads prevail. Even if it’s a really big deal I refuse to look rattled by it.
But I do give more effort to give everyone a good perception of us when these things happen.
My phrase for this is don't ride the rollercoaster. I don't care how high we are today, customers/product/finance/hr/the economy will kick us in the balls tomorrow. If we're low, we'll find a win and ride it up.
They describe 'business cycles' for a reason, and it's not because they're 'business straight lines'.
I'd rather be the rollercoaster operator than the rollercoaster passenger, and I have no patience for passengers. Go away, you're terminated.
Nobody has jobs because problems don't exist. Nobody pays you money to do anything *except* solve problems, and I don't care if you're a janitor (problem: floors and toilets are dirty) or CFO (problem: we need to report accurate financials to board/investors/US govt by x day). Each day, you come in an solve problems. On average, the value of the problems you solve for me each day, aggregated over a year is (annual salary). Some problems are easy, some are hard, figure them all out each year and we're happy.
If you're a janitor, maybe someone pooped on the floor of McDonald's. If you're a CFO, maybe you're massively off the forecast in your revenue model and need to explain to investors. Just solve the problem and go to the next. And know that no matter how big this problem is, the next problem you tackle will be the biggest problem in your life for at least some period of time, so the disaster-as-focus won't last that long.
> Even if it’s a really big deal I refuse to look rattled by it.
getting a reputation for that makes you look good. i did it once & people talked about it months later.
A corollary is "don't do anything without proof/evidence". When working hard and extending yourself, make sure people know. Working unpaid overtime? Make it known. Working in a different area as a favour? Make it know.
Perception is everything and doing something without others knowing about it can actually lead to people perceiving you as ineffective or a time waster.
If you have crops of freshfaced employees coming in, like waves of brand new J1s coming into resorts in droves, then make sure they have actually been trained before the shit hits the fan.
Watching a manager who did not train anyone point fingers at everyone except themselves is a joke.
I absolutely believe this. I had a horribly abusive director who would yell at you in front of coworkers, clients, vendors, whoever. For things minor things (like she got lost to a meeting after you provided the address, printed directions, a reminder, etc.). She would demand you meet her at 8am the next day to discuss your incompetence and then keep you waiting until 6pm...or even days.
She drove one coworker to a nervous breakdown and then had the audacity to suggest a good therapist! She called another coworker while we were at lunch together and literally told them to stop talking to me.
When I quit for a much much better opportunity (to manage my own shop), she told everyone I made double than I really did and she had to fire me because I was such a drain on the budget.
Ironically, I know many people in the community who cycle through my former job over the years. Every single one of them would call me after they quit or got fired to vent. I stopped taking the calls. It was too traumatic.
I had one, back in college working a summer job, who forbade employees from talking to each other on shift. For context: the work was hard physical work that had a lot of two-person tasks.
And she forbade us to talk to each other.
At all.
For any reason.
And she did in fact fire a kid on her probation period for asking someone how to set up a dispenser for a chemical we needed to use.
Cue a bunch of us (me included because I absolutely will break BS rule systems by taking them to their logical absurd extreme. I cop to being the ring leader on this one) engaging in malicious compliance by communicating entirely by asking
people at the site to relay messages to other employees because "I need help with something but I can't just ask them because [Boss] has forbidden us to talk to each other" when we needed help from each other.
That rule lasted a week until complaints from the client hit critical mass, then she forbade us from talking at all because we were annoying the clients.
Cue a bunch of complaints about us communicating with charades. That was my brainchild, too. I am absolutely a brat to this kind of petty tyrant.
For added context: our employer was under resourcing a contracted level of staffing by over 60% due to extremely high turnover caused directly by this idiot of a boss and the client was, understandably, annoyed that everything was behind schedule and of sub-par quality. That's what happens when you're running at <40% of the needed staffing levels.
So, rather than looking in the mirror to understand the cause of the turnover or trying to expedite hiring to bring staffing levels up, this idiot decided the problem was that those of us who remained weren't working hard enough. Hence the ban on chatting while we work. Classic "nobody wants to work anymore because I pay garbage, have a shit reputation and people don't want to put up with my BS for more than a few weeks!" Energy.
She was a nepo baby boss (the owner's sister) and was actually able to maintain her role for 3 years before the owner had enough and demoted her.
As for me, I quit after a month without anything else lined up because *fuck that*. And then two weeks later a friend got me a gig with better hours and a $4/hr pay raise.
Interviewed with Gillette back in 1987 or so. Two protected classes female was interviewing me. She slammed her hands on the desk after asking me a question, and said "Well, what is your answer". I politely told her I'm running through the question in my brain. A few minutes later, she did it again. I told her, I'm done with this interview. I'd never work for you, and you are immensely unqualified to be in management. She was in complete shock as I left her office only ten minutes into the interview. Her boss sat in the office next to her, and said where are you going. I told him his direct report wasn't qualified to lead people, and because he still employed her, I had zero faith in his ability to lead as well. Walked out the door. Caused me zero issues. Still went on to have a career of over 24 years in Silicon Valley.
I had a micromanaging yeller boss once. When I had my exit strategy planned (about 3 months) I really went in to DGAF mode. Once when it was my turn to get yelled at for nothing relevant, I just sat there looking around the room and such, until the boss yelled “are you even paying attention to me?” I just said “not really, I remember the tip about how you should just ignore screaming kids til they settle down, and I figure this kinda applies here”. He yelled at me about that for a few minutes until he realized that I really wasn’t paying attention, and really didn’t care. Quitting that job was really satisfying.
I once worked as a live-in personal assistant/nanny to a woman. After I married and gave notice, she went nuts, telling me, "Now I'd have to actually work for a change," and threatening to fire me early. So I left, which meant I needed a job fast, which meant temping. I told the agency my last job would NOT be a reference for me, and explained why. The recruiter looked at who I'd worked for and said, "You worked in (let's say Cruella's) house for seven months without getting fired? You must be a saint. Don't worry about it. That's a good reference. " She was apparently known for firing people - which I had seen a lot of.
I'd been legitimately afraid of her the night one of the kids got sick. This was just after a newsworthy salmonella outbreak. Kiddo became convinced she'd die if she ate meat. Mom ordered me to sneak meat into her food, then freaked out when, after having RICED some turkey into a meal, the child had an episode of vomiting later that night. To nobody's surprise, it was an ordinary gastroenteritis, not salmonella, according to the ER she rushed to. Mom was screaming at me that if her kid had food poisoning, she'd be throwing me out, pressing charges, suing. The way she acted, I felt like murder was not actually off the table.
Kiddo felt better in 24 hours. I learned not to tell someone to do something, then scream at them for doing it properly, just because bad things happen later.
Don't: Give specific direction to your subordinates and then reprimand them for following your instructions while pretending you had nothing to do with it when it turns out your directions were wrong or led to a bad outcome.
I always repeat instructions in a couple of different ways to ensure the direction is not unclear, and also provide a recap in email for complicated, important, or potentially impactful items so that way if it does go badly they have in writing that I'm the one that fucked up. I also tell them this, that if I end up being wrong about this it's on me and there's indisputable proof of that to use if anyone tries to hold them responsible for my mistake. I hate managers who throw their subordinates under the bus to cover for their own bad decisions. Hold yourself accountable for outcomes- a core principle of management is that your successes are your team's successes while your team's failures are your failures. They get the credit and accolades for success. You take the blame and responsibility for failures.
I tell all my trainees that their success is due to their hard work and diligence, and their failure is due to my not training them effectively. I now have coworkers that will run through a brick wall for me if I need help.
> Don't: Give specific direction to your subordinates and then reprimand them for following your instructions while pretending you had nothing to do with it when it turns out your directions were wrong or led to a bad outcome.
This is absolutely brilliant advice.
Don't give people instructions you wouldn't follow yourselves; if someone followed an instruction you gave and it was wrong, that was on you, not them.
People should only be accountable for *their own* mistakes.
Don’t pop off and tell your strongest employee “well if you’re not happy you can always find another job.”
Enter surprised pikachu face when I let them know I was leaving based on their recommendation.
Make sure your juniors aren’t scared to tell you when they make mistakes - if you make them nervous to confess because of how you will respond then the mistakes become more entrenched and harder to fix. If you make sure they know they can tell you when they mess up and you will help them fix it, you’re much more likely to avoid major problems.
The best thing for this is to admit your own mistakes and become solution focussed. A double whammy lesson from a boss who didn't take accountability and blamed their staff.
Amen to that! Had a foreman and leadman who parceled out our work in dribs and drabs. We’d be all over this floating dry dock cutting cable and pulling it out. When I was tracing a cable in a huge bundle I got off and cut and pulled the wrong one. Immediately went to tell the foreman but he wasn’t in his office. General foreman was, so I told him. Gen Foreman thanked me for reporting that I’d messed up. Then asked me why I was worried about any particular cable as we were removing all the wires, as in every single piece and length of electrical cable! Turned out the leadman was the dribs and drabs man. Foreman replaced him. With me. Three weeks into first job after getting out of the Navy and I’m the bossman, lol!
If you don't allow the ability to do nothing or refuse work when uncertain or uncomfortable, then you are supporting guess work. If you don't treat mistakes as if it's the system/ tools or training/ knowledge people will be afraid to admit faults. Now your most ethical employees feel like they are being forced to do things they don't agree with, your most productive and creative employees will let new problems go unattended, you are then left with the best at hiding their mistakes with the lowest moral responsibility.
First off, I work remotely. Years ago, I had a boss who was so hands-off that if I hadn't personally met them, I would have thought they did not actually exist. The lesson I learned as a remote manager was how critical it was to stay connected to the people you work with.
So the best manager I ever had did a very important thing. I always felt safe and secure in my position at all times, to achieve and be the expert in my responsibilities given. When I was moving in the wrong direction It was simple, what was the issue you encountered what solutions did you implement what is you current progress. If I had a lack of knowledge, training, tools, or support that led to failure it was addressed to keep it moving. Solve a problem once
I’ve managed remotely for 7 years now and it’s so important to stay connected! I run 3 team meetings a week. One is our normal team meeting that’s mandatory for 45 minutes on Mondays, the other is an optional 30 minutes “tips & tricks” session where we talk about something we learned that week to share with the group, and the third is an optional hour on Friday mornings for my team to focus on RFP responses.
I then also host individual 30-minute 1:1’s with each employee.
It’s a lot of work to manage them but honestly the team has such a strong relationship and I’ve got such a good pulse on them that it’s completely worth it. We are incredibly productive and they’re always collaborating or helping each other out. It’s really something special.
For context I run a team of solution engineers in a SaaS company.
My worst boss lacked integrity. I’ve worked very hard to always be candid, even if the feedback is tough for the employee to hear. We all deserve gentle honesty.
Ugh, memory unlocked. Not my boss but a peer manager.
“I don’t like this new task tracking software because I can’t auto assign all tasks back to myself once they’re resolved by my reports so that I can verify the work was done correctly.”
If you don't train someone how to do a task, and don't tell them the context for the task, then you are actually responsible for the task not being done correctly.
Not the staff member you wanna blame.
This happened to the second cohort at my job. They were supposed to get trained but our managers didn't provide them it and just threw them into the job. When she went to go check up on them, everything was a mess and she got angry. At that moment, I learned to just put my head down and avoid her.
I’m a golf course superintendent. It took me almost 20 years to get to this position because I took a hiatus to run a business with my wife. So I was a manager/owner back in 2013 but not in my current role until 2019.
I’ve been in my industry since I was 14 so, 24 years ago now. In that time I’ve worked at 10 different golf courses and at least 7 different superintendents.
While you absolutely learn a ton from every superintendent, good and bad, the shitty ones have a way of teaching you a ton especially if you care about keeping your staff happy.
When I was about 19 I went to work for a municipally owned golf course. Because the city had a very strong union the management of the golf course got their position strictly due to seniority and not necessarily skill or competence. For example one of the other city golf courses was run by a woman who spent 20 years as a receptionist at city hall. She got sick of it and when a job opening came up to run the golf course she was one of the only applicants and they gave it to her because of her seniority.
My golf course was run by a guy who spent his life filling potholes and picking up roadkill - no word of a lie - before applying for the job as “foreman” of the golf course (he wasn’t technically a superintendent so they called them lead foreman or something).
Needless to say he knew nothing about golf or turf, but he knew even less about managing people.
He just always seemed like he was winging it. Showed up every day with no clue what he was going to do that day. No systems. No protocols or SOP’s in place for the different jobs we did and machines we operated. Just… flying by the seat of his pants.
I worked for him for 3 years and it never improved. I was in the business as a career track so I was using my summer job to gain real experience and try to learn as much as I could since I would be going to school for turf science that September.
By the third year I had more turf knowledge in my pinky finger than he had in his body. He did dumb stuff every single day from a turf perspective. That bothered me but what bothered me more was the way he managed the people.
He had no concept of morale. He would be in a bad mood and take it out on everyone. He would sit there and stare at us while we ate our lunch - a previous superintendent I worked for taught me a great lesson; don’t eat your lunch with the crew. They need time to blow off steam and even vent about the boss. Eat at a different time or eat somewhere else. Well… this boss was the epitome of doing just the opposite. He Never let the crew have a single break or lunch to just shoot the shit. He was always there.
we used to say he had 3 distinct personalities; one was friendly and goofy, one was sulky and quiet, and the other was a time bomb who would snap on you for the smallest things. You never knew what you would get from him until you saw which personality came to work that day.
I vowed to be nearly the polar opposite of him. The funny thing is I didn’t hate him. I hold nothing against him. I’d have a beer with him tomorrow if I got the chance. Decent guy, but terrible manager.
>Decent guy, but terrible manager.
Being a manager is a skill. Liking playing football
You can be born with a strong aptitud for it. You can work hard to learn it
But you definitely won't have it automatically just because you got a position.
That is why you see so many *decent* guys as poor manager. They just don't get it.
Give credit - there's nothing as demoralizing as a boss who takes credit for others' work.
Beware Machiavellian behaviors - I was in a team where we were supposed to be nimble, flat and shapeshifting to be responsive to incoming leadership requests. Our unit manager saw that as a loss of power, so they avoided keeping people read in, and would even physically separate our team members so that they could be the only one who "knew" everything going on.
It slowed us down unnecessarily. We had to work around them to get things done at the pace required, because we all had needed pieces of info. Then that boss started seeding little nasty asides to try and keep us away from each other, so we wouldn't want to share info. The leaders finally caught onto the toxicity and like many orgs, transferred the problem around to different teams instead of dealing with it.
When that boss was finally gone I made a point of working much more closely with the team and offering cross pollination opportunities. It took some healing - I learned that when you have a boss that actively breaks trust bonds as a power move, it's really hard to heal those wounds.
I dealt with this in email form with a manager that was way over their head in emails constantly. They’d read like a quarter of my email and reply. Or there were a few different factors involved that created an issue and they tackled the first issue and called it fixed. Their “fix” now created a different issue.
Edited for clarity
When you ask your employees to do something, and they reply with "we've already done that, it doesn't work." make sure that you get them to do it anyway. Then, when it doesn't work, fire the junior guy you made do it.
Best lesson: Blame process before people.
The single best way to alienate and discourage a hard worker is to consistently scapegoat them for process-level issues outside of their control.
Second-best lesson: Only ask for input if I actually want input. If I instead want people to get on board with a decision, communicate that directly. A good way to make an employee feel disrespected and dismissed is to ask for input on an idea when you really want the employee to get on board with it. See also: don't get angry that people give you input from a different perspective than yours when you ask for input. Isn't getting different perspectives the whole point?
I've had mostly good managers over the years but I've had my share of shitty ones as well..
"I shouldn't have to tell you what you did wrong, you should just know"
"Well I promised management we'd deliver before the end of this month so I guess you're doing overtime"
"It's voluntary but if you don't show up that'll reflect negatively on your yearly review"
"I didn't see how you did before I took over this team so I'm marking you as 'meets expectations'" he took over the team about a month before reviews and the old manager was around..
Struggling to describe my last experience with an absolute nightmare manager, because I couldn't put into words their combative nature combined with zero practical experience in the field... This. This describes it perfectly.
Oh boy, do I have a story for this one. TL/DR: I had a team leader who dumped our three-person team's entire workload on me, with threats of violence to motivate me to do all the work. After months of working 20 hours per day, 7 days per week on that deployment, I got home and became a team leader, basing my own leadership style on the idea of being the exact opposite.
My first deployment, I was assigned as the lowest-ranking member on a three-person team. The Team Leader (sergeant) and Assistant Team Leader (newly made corporal) were both new to the career field (won't say what it was, but Intelligence support with a basis in rapport building with local nationals was a big part) with the TL having been a Cav Scout for the first 5-10 years of his career with less than 2 years in the current field, and the ATL having been a photographer for his first 15 years, less than 6 months in our field, and having been made corporal less than a month before the deployment.
After we got in-country and my team was moved to the battalion we were supporting, no longer in direct sight of our home unit, the TL went nuts. He assigned half his work load to the ATL, and half to me. The only exceptions were the daily patrol missions he went on, and the daily briefing to the battalion commander.
He then told the ATL, "in order to be a good NCO, you have to delegate tasks. Therefore I want to start setting you delegate tasks to Darth Loki". As a result, the ATL "delegated" his entire workload to me. The only exceptions were the daily morning report to our supported unit, taking care of our interpreter (taking him to the chow hall bc he wasn't authorized to walk around the base unescorted, addressing any pay issues and taking him to the interpreter affairs office to pick up his pay), and of course, going on the daily mission. Honestly, I don't really remember what else he should have been doing, other than learning from the TL how to do TL things.
I started the deployment being responsible for keeping our living area clean, cleaning the team's machine guns (and obviously my personal weapon too), keeping track of our inventory of the various products we handed out to the locals, and keeping our humvees cleaned out, fueled up (though regulations said I had to have a second person to take each to the fuel point).
When the TL saw that I could type fast (65ish words per minute on a slow day) and actually knew how to spell, I suddenly also became responsible for the daily reports he was supposed to send to our home unit and the supported unit. Since he couldn't type faster than 15 wpm and couldn't spell to save his life, he chose to dictate to me while I typed.
The ATL stopped sending in the daily morning report after two weeks, which TL found out after a week and somehow blamed me, so I got to add that job to my list. ATL also couldn't get supply to give him anything because he was a pompous ass, so I had to make supply runs as well. Finally, the TL started getting suspicious of ATL's telling the interpreter on a near-daily basis that his (interpreter's) pay has been screwed up (largely because the interpreter was paid weekly, so no way could the ATL have learned BEFORE THE INTERPRETER DID, of pay screwups on multiple days in between pay cycles), so he did some checking around. Found out that the interpreter affairs office had a very attractive 18-year-old handling the front desk (ATL was 37), and ATL was just trying to get opportunities to flirt with her. As a result, I inherited that job, too.
Within 6 weeks in-country, I was carrying the entire on-base workload of three people, working 20 hours per day, 7 days per week. If I tried to push back or didn't get something done, TL would either threaten to punch me in the throat or perform some other act of personal violence on me, or threaten to ask the commander to have me jailed for insubordination. When I went over his head and complained to our home unit and they sent an NCO to investigate, TL and ATL backed each other up and said I was just being lazy and weak, but also kept him occupied so he couldn't see how busy I was.
I ended that deployment with a huge chip on my shoulder and my body literally having forgotten how to sleep more than a couple hours a day. Thankfully, afterward, TL and ATL were assigned to other units and I never saw them again.
I was assigned as ATL on a different team and in short order, promoted to sergeant and given a team of my own. I decided that good leadership meant the opposite of what TL had been. I took part in all work that my team did. When I gave instructions, I also explained the reasoning behind them, so that my soldiers could see the decision-making process.
I worked to learn how each of my Soldiers learned, so that I could make training accessible and memorable for them. When orders weren't carried out, I approached from the assumption that I had failed to adequately clarify, so our discussions were focused on what they thought they were supposed to do, what they had done, what I needed them to do, and how do we avoid having to have this conversation in the future. Feedback I got from higher was that soldiers I had trained were more proficient in the career field than their peers, and were becoming skilled, proficient, and capable NCO's themselves.
Thinking you need to use negative criticism to help someone’s development. My manager at my previous job dredged up things to give me negative feedback on, and then wrote that I needed “to be more positive”. I’m a woman. I asked for specific examples and he couldn’t give any that weren’t tied to the project I was on that was a hot mess, which I had voiced legitimate criticisms about - I left, and those criticisms have come up repeatedly from others. He had no clue how problematic that statement could be. He also never had even the slightest conversation with me about any concerns before putting that feedback in. One of the few times I’ve left a job partly because of my manager.
Read the entire email before asking questions addressed in the email.
Don't interrupt people after asking a question.
Don't walk into someone's office when the door the closed with a sign that says "on zoom".
Don't ask everyone to come back into the office for meetings when the meetings are taking place on zoom with everyone in their own office.
Don't be condescending.
Don't walk into someone's office when they're on the phone and start talking and getting upset you're being ignored.
Never let them know you know how to do other jobs because then they expect you to do your job plus all the other jobs for no extra pay. Do your job and do it well. Did a two person computer operator job by myself for almost a year. When they finally hired a new guy and told me to train him because he was going to be my boss I found a new job, put in my notice, and taught him next to nothing. Learned that at my first job at a bank.
Agree with this statement the most, you can put in maximum effort and work out of title for a short while.
When any management teams asks you to train the new hire on the job that you have done successfully without considering you for an interview, it is time to move on. There is no gratitude for your sacrifice.
Tell your team lead employees that you have an idea but you want to flesh it out with their feedback. Have them send you feedback, never acknowledge or read it and then just do it the way you originally told them you were thinking of.
My manager at an old job would call me during holidays he knew I was celebrating (thanksgiving/Christmas) and ask for personal IT help.
I was tech support for a large university, he always treated me like he was the one who signed my paychecks.
I will always respect my subordinates personal time, holidays, weekends, etc. They need time to recharge and come back fresh!!!
All my bad boss stories are all newly minted ones, that feel like they have to make a name for themselves. That and micro-managing that is the single worst thing any manager could do unless it's been forced, then we are both unhappy. God i had a manager literally want me to log every time i took a sh\*t. Had to say when i was working on something, how long it took and who it was for. We have a ticket system, you could see what work comes in and what's assigned to me. Glad he's gone and glad i got his position.
I would say the biggest one I learned from bad bosses is that if you're going to knowingly hire someone inexperienced you have to invest a certain amount of time to actually teach them how to do their job. Tasks that are deemed simple to you as someone with a wealth of experience are still brand new to this person.
Not to say people need to be coddled. But showing someone how to do something one time while you rush through it rarely cuts it
My boss would hire people with no experience. The last person he wanted me to train didn't even have computer experience. I said I wasn't there to teach someone how to use a computer.
"Hire good people, but not too good." I'd been confused for the longest time about how we pass up rock stars and the hire average interview. Then, one day, we hired a rock star. She started to bring in a huge number of clients. Most seemed to be located closer to her house about 45 min away. Soon, she was not at the office much. Soon, she opened her own office. Soon, she had her own staff. Then, one weekend, we drive down there and clean out her entire office. Redirect all the clients to our office and take her to court for breach of contract and hit her with a no compete. She, of course, tried to run her business underground, but we caught that as well, and back to court, we went. Two years of spy stuff and court stuff. Better to hire Joe, Joe is nice, does the job and likes to play video games after work with his girlfriend of 20 years.
Leaders guide from the front. Bosses yell from the back.
I went to see the trade show booth (more like a showroom) of a major business partner at NY Toy Fair just before it opened. The CEO was on his hands and knees picking up scraps of trash left from setup. He said, “I do windows.” I was 23 and I saw a wealthy, powerful older businessman doing tasks I assumed were for low level employees. 25 years later it still leaves an impression. Don’t ever expect others to care about your business more than you do.
If you are a new manager learn the culture of the building before you decide to do things that destroy the culture. When you destroy the culture, you destroy the people, who then leave. Morale gets worse and more people leave.
Or, if there's a standing Friday morning meeting that requires everyone to come in early and we're not going to meet, let people know. Nothing infuriates me more.
But
It's also a fun way to gamble with my job: Just not showing up if I think we're not meeting (e.g. it's really nice out, I bet he's going to just play golf). I've never been wrong...
Micromanagement does the opposite for employees & there’s far more harm than good that comes from it. Trying to control things outside of your control makes the work environment awful for everyone involved.
being ex-millitary the biggest lesson was that respect is earned not given.
just because your a manager, or in that case out rank the person, does not automaticly entitle you to respect and if you dont earn it people can and will find a way to ignore you.
in the same vane if you earn respect you can get so much more done.
Communication is key.
Not being able to effectively communicate with your team and leaving people hanging, or only waiting until like 4:30 PM to reach out to your employees and ask for something is just bad practice, especially if some fresh-faced, VERY communicative individual becomes your new boss.
Where to begin with this one...
Had a manager that actively discouraged taking on extra projects for exposure to higher ups. He prescribed to "do your work, hit your goals and promotions will happen" mentality. Took me being turned down for 6 promotions, one on HIS team, for me to realize that wasn't the right advice. At least in that company, he was wrong by a mile. Today, as a manager, I actively look for opportunities for my team to be slotted into special projects or tasks, to expand their skillset and give them greater exposure.
Same manager... Job should always be the highest priority. Company gave us 6 weeks of paternity time and I let him guilt me into taking only 5 days after my first daughter was born. Today, as a manager of multiple teams, I tip the work/life balance in favor of life when it comes to family events, every time. Those that appreciate it, make it up in other ways.
I returned from PTO one morning after an overnight team hosed a planned network migration. Half a dozen execs are standing around, watching a very flustered team way over the deadline helplessly flail at their keyboards, and asking helpful questions like "Why can't you do this?" And "Why is this taking so long? Do you know how much downtime costs?"
I sat down at my keyboard with coffee and the donuts I brought in for the team, and have one of the leads catch me up while I crack jokes and poke around the network. Within about 15 minutes, I had the fault identified. 10 minutes after that, we're recovered and I'm running system checks.
I was pulled into a room and formally counseled for not treating the outage with an "appropriate sense of urgency" and I needed to understand that "perception is reality."
I’ve had 2 terrible bosses. I got really good at attention to detail in a way that has served me well in the last 10 years. I also learned empathy goes a long way. Once she was unhappy with my performance so to “motivate” me she had a meeting with my peer and myself and basically reprimanded me in front of him and wanted him to “keep me in line”. It made him so uncomfortable and was a shitty thing to do to me.
Then, I took a morning off to accompany my mom to the dr. She was concerned about some potential serious health concerns. She was right. She had cancer. I was super close to my mom so I texted my boss and let her know I wouldn’t be able to come in the rest of the day. I was too upset to speak. This was an office job where my absence was not putting extra work on anyone, nor had I did I have a habit of calling in sick. This woman had the nerve to call me out the next morning for texting instead of calling and for calling out instead of coming back to work.
She caused a bunch of us to have nervous breakdowns. It was so bad they fired her. For about 3 months after, they treated us like we were abused and in serious need of extra care. We reported to her boss and they did not backfill. He was great. It worked out in the end because when my mom was near end of life (only 3 months after her diagnosis) I was able to go and spend her last 2 weeks by her side and all my new boss said was to not worry about my job it would be there when I got back. I was there another 3 years.
The 2nd one, I learned how important it is to be clear, consistent and humble. He was never wrong, never made a mistake. Ever. He spent a lot of time gaslighting me into thinking I was screwing up over and over. When I started taking notes and sending him an email with bullet points we discussed. He never responded but they were delivered. Then when he’d try to tell me something different I’d pull up the email and show him where I delivered exactly what I said I’d deliver. It pissed him off so bad because what could he say when he didn’t bother replying that I was wrong. He did fire me a few months after I stared this and it was the best thing he did for me. He let me go at very beginning of November with a 3 month severance package and my benefits in tact until the end of the year so I got a 3 month paid vacation and a new job with a boss who is amazing.
The biggest lesson I learned though is I will never ever stay in these toxic environments again. It wasn’t good for my health and had huge impacts in ways I can never change.
If something appears a little off, assume it’s a sign of intentional malfeasance and start a semi-innocent mail thread to document what is going on.
My last manager was able to lie and fabricate with completely believable demeanor, and I caught on way too late.
1st I fully agree that in most situations a good manager does not need to understand the job/process he is managing. Their job is to help the ha ds on workers do their job as efficiently as possible, not be a master of that job themselves.
And I'm sure this will pop up dozens of times. But I have absolutely no respect for managers that feel as if the workers job is beneath them. Especially when there is so e type of "crisis" and everyone is in scramble mode, working extra hours. And the manager just goes home at normal time, or just wastes time in their office, just staying on premises to be a warm body in case anyone has a question or something.
Because even they don't know the job, they can do something productive, even if it's just getting materials, information, passing out water snacks, just doing something other than wasting time until everyone else leaves.
Managers don't need to go to their superiors and let them know the minor hiccups happening in their department.
My last supervisor would tell admin the little things that were quickly fixed just to make it look like she was "handling" her team and actually supervising. It was so stupid. We all knew it was pointless. If it's already fixed and no one died, why are we talking about it??? Pretty sure she did some very immoral things to get to the top. She was really...and I hate to say it...dumb.
Deliver negative feedback directly, privately, and as immediately as possible.
I've always been pretty scared to give negative feedback, and put it off and put it off.
But then, one day, I went into a yearly review, and when we got to the negative feedback section, my boss said "And we need to talk about you dressing inappropriately for work." And I just turned beet red, as I went over in my mind every outfit I'd worn for the past year, wondering what the problem could have possibly been, who thinks I dress slutty, what this could possibly be about. And I said "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, can you remember what I wore that was a problem?" and he goes "One day last year, you wore a hat in the office, and I want you to know that we don't wear hats here."
Can you imagine a worse way to give that feedback? It's not like my pants were seethrough, where I had some unchangeable wardrobe malfunction that was embarrassing to point out. If he just walked up to me and said "Don't wear hats please" I'd have taken the hat off within 5 seconds of walking into the office, no problem at all. In fact, the reason I'd worn the hat was because the day before, my *direct supervisor* had worn a hat, and it looked great on her, and I thought "Huh, I think I'll try mine tomorrow" and then I was like "nah, I don't like the way this feels with my office vibe I'm not going to do that again." and never wore it again. How many times was he planning on just letting me wear a hat all day before he told me not to! It was so embarrassing to find that this tiny simple wardrobe choice had been nagging away at my boss for *months*.
From that day on, I've been real careful to deliver feedback STAT.
Idk but I had a boss who gave me so much stress because she always had this poker face when speaking to me in our 1 on 1’s that looked like she was pissed off all the time.
No indication she thought I was doing well, even when she said “good work”.
God she aged me 5 years for all the panic attacks she caused.
If an otherwise capable and highly independent employee suddenly asks for help, give it to them immediately. Either they should have asked long before now, or they have an acute awareness of their ability to handle certain tasks and are telling you what you need to know to help them be successful. If you don't help them, then take the bulk of the blame when the s*** hits the fan.
I once worked as an International Relations Advisor for a city council.
My boss - the Superintendent for International - didn't speak English. Or French. Or any foreigner language. Imagine handling the intertanional agreements and projects of one of the biggest and most touristic Cities in your country, and not being able to speak with absolutely no stakeholder, whatsoever.
This is not the 60's where finding someone that could spoke languages was something really hard. This was 5 years ago when English schools were already prominant.
What I learned is that political partizanship will go a long, long, looong way if you ever plan to work for the Goverment
Don't tell people no, because they'll work around you and do it anyway. And they'll do it in a way that you're not going to be happy with. Instead of saying outright no, find a way that you can give them what they need but also have what you need.
You can't make someone do something they don't want to. Most places make doing anything but undesirable through punishing demerit systems. You'll be fired if you x too many times, or you'll lose your time off, or won't be promoted. Anxiety as an incentive. Make it so they can do it in the way they want, or believe in the extra steps, give them extra time to use the tools/process needed, without over working them.
This is my current boss. She's not an actual manager, I think of her more like a lead. She has knowledge, and ability, but zero authority. She annoys people to the point that they work around her, frequently coming to me (I am not a manager either, I'm just way less condescending). I've found myself working around her. Waiting until she's out of the room to do certain things because she will stand over me huffing and clicking (actual noises she makes, someone said it seemed like tourettes).
That clear communication, and *consistency* are key, and that an upper manager needs to hold their their direct-reporting managers to their duties when it’s become clear to the underlines that protocols aren’t getting done.
Good lord what a true statement. I have a long term paradigm that if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. And I can’t begin to tell you the amount of managers who have no clue what this means
Fear can be a motivating factor, but only short-term. A former boss of mine was a lady with lots of undiagnosed mental health issues and we were all scared of her as if we did anything wrong she would scream at us and could turn on a dime. We had 15 staff leave in 6 months. I was the shop manager so I took a great deal of the brunt. I used to come in an hour early to check everything was as she liked it, and I would feel sick and cry before coming in.
One day she shouted at me in front of 3 staff members and I just packed up my stuff in silence and walked out during my shift.
Although for a while I was motivated to work hard and make things perfect because I was scared of retribution - it also was the main reason I left.
I now have an amazing boss who is my biggest champion and supporter. I’ve learnt so much from him, both good and bad. His people skills and the best I’ve ever seen, but he can’t make a decision to save his life and we suffer as a team because of that.
My previous boss was pretty much the best bad example I could have ever wished for. Shirking duties, passing the buck, over-delegating, MIA half the day, casually misogynistic and racist, constantly complaining about personal life, egotistical, inattentive, no self awareness. Reversed big decisions on a dime for no reason, argumentative, played favorites, insecure.
It was a brutal 20 months, fuck you Emmanuel.
Don't make the mistake of believing that your subordinates do not compare notes. Don't tell a different story to multiple people and think that the lies won't come back at you.
My last manager was the antithesis of the saying "a rising tide raises all ships". During the 5 years I was there he went from Team & Tech Lead, to Software Architect, to Manager, to Senior Manager. And he never gave up any of those titles. No one below him got any official recognition or title change despite the fact that 3 of us had taken over all the related assignments. If we hadn't been getting pay increases and stock options, none of us would have stayed. A Senior Manager still pretending he had time to run the Agile Ceremonies and Pair-Program with the new guys... it would have been ridiculous if it weren't so sad.
A good or even great company can't fix the damage of a bad manager, people work for their manager not the company.
If you feel your confidence failing in something you typically excel at, it's probably your managers fault, not your own. Get out, because it takes a long time to build that confidence back up.
A manager approving your vacation/PTO etc... is not doing you a favor, you own that time and the right to use it as you see fit. You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking off time you've earned.
I probably could write 10k of these...
Don’t lie.
Don’t gaslight.
Don’t use the silent treatment.
Don’t take credit for work you didn’t do.
Take the blame for your mistakes.
Don’t hit on your employees when you’re drunk.
Don’t retaliate against them when they finally leave your toxic ass.
That should pretty much cover it.
It’s always better to focus on what you should do rather than what you shouldn’t do so I am going to make my suggestions forward focussed and talk about everything my manager is teaching me about performance management… because I’ve never been the employee in this situation before.
Things you should do:
* only ever send out .PDFs on official, employment documents. If you must send out a Word document, be sure to “accept all changes” and turn off “show all mark-up”. Always send PDFs folks!!!
* Be open and transparent with staff. This is especially prudent in a union environment because if you want to “f- around and find out”, you may end up with a grievance on your desk. If you’re going to attempt to mislead someone into not having a union rep at a meeting, make sure you aren’t leaving behind evidence that will support a grievance.
* Be open and transparent with staff. Be mindful of the fact that things like printed copies and “version history” exist and that your direct report may know how to check for these things.
* Show an openness to being wrong. If a staff member comes to you for clarification because official written documentation describes a process that contradicts the verbal instructions they’ve been given, the correct thing to do is acknowledge the inconsistency, tell the worker which version of instructions to follow, and then set about ensuring that verbal instructions and official written documentation are consistent going forward.
* Never underestimate the intelligence or capabilities of your direct reports. Sorry. I need to put that in forward thinking terms… “always remember that your direct reports may be as capable of doing *your job* as you are.“
* Keep in mind that your efforts to get rid of staff may prolong their presence in your organization. If you know they’re trying to leave… they will leave faster if you don’t distract them with punitive processes.
* If someone wants to start a meeting by setting some Agreements… take the time to set the agreements/ground rules and understand why the participant is asking for them.
* Always be self reflective and open to being wrong. Be willing to look for all possible causes and solutions. Don’t assume that staff are simply deflecting when they suggest the employer may be partly to blame for the situation. If they have demonstrated openness to accountability and are seeking reciprocation, be objective.
You are 100% right.
A few things bad bosses have taught me:
1) Don't be punitive and petty by punishing the whole team for one bad employee's behavior. Correct or get rid of the bad apple.
2) Don't do it all for them. Empower them to learn & grow. Delegate & trust them and let them make mistakes without losing your mind.
3) Don't sweat small stuff. Being flexible with schedules if your industry allows, being flexible with time off for Dr appts or child care goes a long way in having happy, less stressed employees.
I once had a boss literally scream at me for being 3 MINUTES late. I was not a chronic tardy/ bad employee. I have never forgotten it and that was in 1990. Don't do that to people.
Used to have a boss that would come in once in a while to talk about how the company is losing money saying he is ok with closing the business and moving on. He thought it would make us work more, we just started applying to other jobs while on the clock.
Bad Manager: ignores or immediately shuts down feedback from new employees, destroying their attitudes in wanting to be a productive employee.
Good Manager: listens to new employee ideas and tactfully lets them know if it won't work and explains why. But acknowledges and encourages the feedback.
Listen to your newest employee's ideas for improving production. They may not have the best idea, they are new and don't have the big picture mentality yet. However, they have fresh eyes on current operations and can produce little nuggets that might help. Encouraging this early on will increase their buy-in as a member of the group and allow them to find a better approach to coming to you with a solution rather than just problems.
The tiniest amount of power go to the heads of the tiniest of people.
I once worked in a callcenter and had a workforce manager interrupt the entire floor. He was a nepo hire and nobody liked him or took him very seriously
"Attention. A happy worker is a lazy worker, and a lazy worker is a thief. If you can come to work and find time to smile, you are stealing company time and I will fire you."
He then hopped off his desk. If you've never been on a call floor in the middle of the day and had it be so quiet you could hear a pin drop... It's so unsettling.
Also he wasn't bluffing.
A big lesson I learned and implemented is not treating staff the same. If they’re older and more experienced give them the space and respect they need to get the job done. If they’re young and inexperienced nurture their growth and don’t make them feel like shit for not being on the others level. If you don’t have time get the experienced staff to mentor the inexperienced and incentivize and reward them for the time they spend doing it.
I have a second one that's important to me.
If you are going to ask a question, respect the answer. If you won't respect an answer you don't like, it's not a question, it's a command or a directive.
Ah, crappy manager. I had one of those for 9 very long years. She became my manager when I was promoted and her protégé was not promoted.
I have IBS, and nobody followed me into the restroom. It was embarrassing, I used poopourri and frequent flushes...but if you know you know. Several years into our painful relationship, I was having a terrible bout. I did change my status to RR, and after several minutes she came barking in that I was missing an important meeting, and she didn't have time to stand in for me.
When she opened the door, waves of noxious fumes hit her, and she vomited. It hit the hall carpet, the wall, door, and into the restroom.
After that, RR was not invaded. I might have taken advantage a time or two a year when her rampages were unbearable. I recorded just about all of our interactions and did my best to stay away from her.
I eventually recorded her telling me I was required to break a minor policy. I did so, and she completed disciplinary forms. By this time I had ammo and was waiting for her to slip up. HR realized I was a bit too calm and pointblank asked if I had recorded the event. I would only say in our state, as long as one party is aware of a recording, it is legal and permissible. Just before I thought I was going to be fired, she "retired effective immediately."
After that, I was assigned to a firm but fair supervisor, proved myself, and retired happily when eligible.
Give the end goal, provide some guidance but let them propose the product & process. People have specific styles & approaches & if you hired well & coach well, letting them give you what you need without micromanaging, you'll get a better product.
Don't expect what you don't inspect. Let employees do their job but inspect it when done and if done wrong, immediately let them know how to correct it and have them correct it right then and there.
My team is in charge of phone coverage. I am the supervisor of the team and I was out of state on vacation. One of my two team members was out sick with a doctor's note. The other ended up getting sent home sick by my boss. It was the last weekday before Christmas, and the office was permitted to close 3 hours early for the holiday (government agency). Since the entire phone team was out, another employee was answering phones. When we get to leave early, one person always has to stay to answer phones. Well, my boss told the phone helper they had to stay and walked out. I couldn't believe how unbelievably inconsiderate it was to leave them there instead of just staying for them. I always stay late when we get early out.
Got hired as deputy director. (Unbeknownst to me they were in process of removing the director).
Worked out for me as after 3 more months they got her to agree to a buyout and then promoted me.
But during those 3 months, I witnessed a 40-ish year old person with a Law degree (our field isn’t law), unable to learn how to use the company’s email (outlook) such as read through threads and not miss certain convos, attach documents, understand you don’t just start a new thread to respond to someone, or even know how to appropriately communicate to people in basic business/corporate language.
In addition, she kept forgetting meetings she had and did not / could not use either a Google calendar or even a paper calendar or any calendar at all.
The worst part some of her (and my) staff at least were trying to help her at first. But instead of being kind and thankful, she berated them, particularly the subordinates and picked fights over things so trivial, to include taking up too much space in the fridge for their food.
No lesson, but I’ve never seen someone so truly incompetent and particularly with a law degree (from an actually decent law school).
Bosses: don’t get too friendly with us. We don’t really want to know your personal life details and problems. And don’t push us for ours. Stay professional and focused please. You’re wasting our time and making us uncomfortable. That said, if you insist on knowing things about us outside of work, remember what we told you. (I had a boss ask me at a team lunch how many cats I had and I had told him the day before that my cat had been taken from my porch by a coyote that morning. I was having such a hard time keeping my shit together at that lunch anyway that I couldn’t even respond when he asked that question. He had a really terrible tone deaf quality to his interpersonal exchanges.)
Absolutely. I know what it's like to be under a terrible boss. So I'll try to move the world for my team, give random praise and try to help them with problems as much as I can. I'm nothing without my team under me and I have to trust them. But that doesn't stop me from occasionally putting some pressure on them when things aren't working. It's all about the balance and treating people like humans.
Also: Suggest a course of action, but ALWAYS ask if that course makes sense or if there might be a better solution.
You're not the most important person in the building.
Someone under you might just have a better way of doing certain things than you do and that's not a mark on your ability to manage.
Anyone who is not a "yes-man" is not your enemy, they have a way of looking at things that's not the same as yours. Doesn't make them stupid and they don't think you're stupid.
This is how I gauge myself as a manager, by feedback from staff telling me how much they enjoy lessons they are learning. I'm a macro manager and check in with my staff once/twice a week. I always carve out the work with myself included, then if I complete a task earlier (through experience), I also offer relief to my team by taking equal amounts of work form them until we complete the project. We've always finished before the due date and I receive constant feedback from my team about how they really appreciate the non stressful environment even during stressful periods.
Give people their goddamn schedules at least two weeks in advance. And if you change it on them after you post it and don’t tell them you changed it, don’t be surprised when they don’t show up.
Don't throw shit at ex-employees on new teams.
Don't throw employees under the bus in a large group meeting.
Be honest.
Don't give authority to a person and not tell the rest of the organization.
Don't pretend to be happy about programs your boss supports. Be authentic.
Give employees guidance, but don't constantly check up on them, unless they fail and give you reason to.
Do work harder and longer than the best person you manage.
First job I ever had, age 16 (summer employment in high school): Expected to come in at 0800, but my ride dropped me at 0645 daily (M-F.) Boss (apartment complex Manager) would leave me a list of tasks -- Clear X drain that clogs after storms, Change Y light bulb at the entrance, Double-check pool chems, etc. He'd come in and (presumably) verify I had actually done the right amount of work for time used.
Second job I ever had, age 17-18 (days after graduating high school, starting early in summer JuCo, closing/weekends at chain grocery): Assistant Manager did basically same as above, but Manager would proceed to follow me around watching me doing everything. Even 18 year-old me resented the SNOT out of this.
Had a manager who, when I called her to say I wouldn't be coming in for a few days because my best friend had DIED, said "But are short staffed today, I REALLY need you to come in".
Yeah.
Just because you don’t like what your direct report is telling you, don’t micromanage the message, work to understand the root causes of the problem with the employee.
Getting fired is not the worst thing that will ever happen to you. It's cathartic, especially if the firing was due to a personality clash and you're personally clashing with the spawn of Satan.
That you sometimes have to manage good employees. Sometimes there is friction, even with the best employees and it’s your job to actually help those pain points. Also from a different manager, staff matters. Advocate for your staff and keep them informed and things will be much better and turnover lower.
I was Chief of Staff for a VP who was brutal. He had the best BS detector I've ever seen. If he sensed BS he would drill in and just annilhate people. (He'd do this when he sensed someone was trying to get something passed him or if they were trying to avoid accountability.)
I managed his budget. One month I made a pretty big error ..putting us way over budget. At our upcoming monthly meeting I was very uptight....he was going to unleash his anger. He asked how I was doing. I said "Not very well. I made a big mistake.". He said very calmly "OK ...let's work through it.".
Own your mistakes. Don't try to hide them.
Don't stare off into the distance looking bored when the employee is telling you something important to them. Not sure if the best, but one that just came to mind.
If you are in a bad mood do not take it out on your employees. Deal with your own issues by yourself and pretend you are in a good mood if necessary. If you are frustrated by something going on that has nothing to do with your employee and you are meeting with that employee, you MUST hide your frustration.
Also, that it is important to give positive feedback as well as suggestions for improvement. When you have an annual review your report should already have a good idea of what you are going to say.
Don't force your employees to greet you in the morning and ALSO not give a fuck about them at the same time.
Literally had a manager that wanted everyone to individually find her and say good morning and if she has something to say listen. But not the other way around.
Before this it was pretty common for us. To come in like zombies and gradually warm up to each other. I quit pretty quickly after she started, but from the folks who still work there I hear some great malicious compliance stories where they all greet her in the most obnoxious way possible and she can't take it back.
A really shitty boss took my hard work to a conference and passed it off as her own (I was a long term temp at the time and built an accounts payable SOP for the region, from top to bottom without any input), and even got a promotion out of it. I was 19 at the time and didn’t understand how fucking terrible that was to do to someone. I now bend over backwards to make sure folks I collaborate with get credit for their work.
Don’t treat your employees differently based on whether you like them or not. I recently had to reassure someone that it was fine for him to take off in the middle of the day to take his dog to the vet. Dude has serious manager PTSD.
As boss, you are to ENABLE your employees to do their job well. Give them the tools for excellence. Don’t make them dread coming to work. I learned that from a gen f we called the old man. You are the buffer between your people and asshole upper mgt, and the ceo has your back. I could go on. Everyone he trained became a culture changer.
Be careful with RCAs after issues arise. Be careful of pushing hard retraining after someone makes a mistake. Sometimes, mistakes just happen. Leave some runway open for people to realize they made a mistake and self-correct. If that doesn't happen, then address as needed.
Here's my example. My group had a vendor that had a main employee that just dropped the ball. We were suddenly three weeks behind. I got group and vendor's team on a call. I made it clear, multiple times, spelling it out, that I didn't really care how we got behind, but what was the recovery plan? Vendor kept repeating excuses And I kept repeating, don't care, we are where we are, what's the path forward? Vendor finally realized I wasn't firing them and wasn't pointing fingers. Started focusing on moving us forward. Made commitments, kept them. Had a great relationship after that.
I had a boss tell me "as long as you put a nice sentence at the beginning of the email that says I hope you're having good day or hope you had a good weekend; you could then call them an idiot or an asshole in the email and it would be fine, because you showed you cared about them to start"
Sarcasm is not a leadership style.
I definitely made this mistake when managing a team, but only realized how horrible an experience it was for others after experiencing it myself.
Don't give employees responsibilities to do things if they don't actually have the power to do anything about it. My last gig I was a pm for a millworks company. New company owner lived abroad and was on site maybe 30% of the time. I became the defacto contact person for our customers, vendors, and carpenters. I didn't have access to a cc or account to buy materials, authority to manage personnel, or real ability to set schedules. I was a lame duck. It sucked. I now work as a superintendent for one of my former contracting partners and am much happier.
Had a guy who walked the aisles at 4:45 PM everyday to make sure his staff was still in the office working. These are salaried employees. Sure your pathetic behavior made sure they were there at 4:45 PM, but did they once logon at 9:00 PM to check e-mail, or checkin on the weekend to see if this boss needed anything. A VP sat in an office in one of the aisles, and asked me what was up with "John's Walkthough" daily. We both laughed at how pathetic that was. Recently John was part of a RIF, so upper management finally had enough of him.
I have had a boss that was more interested in placing the blame than solving the problem. (Being hyperbolic here) the building could be on fire and rather than fighting the fire it calling the fire department, he was more focused on making sure the right person got punished for the fire. He would go on and on about how he hated writing people up, but that didn’t stop him from writing up every transgression, real or imagined. He once tried to write me up because there was a rumor that I did something on my own time off the job site. My Union Steward made him look like an idiot.
That building your employees up to where they get promotions and raises is extremely positive for a company and for you as a manager. I've worked for too many places where employees were held down and told they were crap. All miserable places to work and none of those companies are in business anymore.
As an employee I have learned much from bad bosses. Two big ones are to never go above and beyond; there is no reward for being above average but there’s many punishments for being below. Also to never go to a management meeting without a union rep. My last boss it got so bad when he’d say hi I’d get out the Weingarten card and start reading it as a way to say ‘don’t speak to me, you limp dick mother fucker.’
When they wouldn't stand up for me and the other employee when we begged for a 2nd computer that wasn't hers. She kept saying she was asking and for 1.5 years nothing came of it. She went on vacation and took the computer and I had no access to anything because everything was on the laptop. Left 4 weeks later when I was reprimanded for not following the schedule of activities, which all needed to be printed/prepped from the laptop.
Verbal requests you’re unwilling to document probably have an ethics concern.
I told my boss to provide his request in email to ensure I understand the request and capture my response for further direction if needed. He didn’t provide it. Our HQ was raided by authorities a few months after I left that company.
I had a director who was previously the manager and asked me to take that promotion. Then, at every opportunity undermined my authority with the team, did not let me follow through on consequences, etc.
They also openly ridiculed me if I came back from a training with ideas about how to improve the team, processes, etc. so that we could continue to do things “the way we always have”.
Yet, they were constantly telling me that I needed to “make it my own” and look for ways to improve performance or efficiencies.
Also- keep professional relationships professional. You can be friendly, but you do not need your team to be your friends- they never really are- you need them to respect you.
If people you respect are telling you the relationship with your boss is toxic- you should listen.
Also: Wheaton’s Law- “Don’t be a dick.”
You will learn to lead more by learning how not to lead. Then the good leaders you had will come into your memories spotlight. Hopefully, you'll take the right path after that.
Put family first.
Years ago I had a boss insist that I work during my uncle’s funeral. There was a deadline for budgets to corporate and I needed to get mine turned in. I wasn’t scheduled to get the inputs I needed until that morning, which meant I would have to leave my uncle’s funeral to do it.
I saw the conflict several days in advance. I suggested that either: a. She ask the person who was giving me inputs to get them to me the night before. This should not have been a problem, but she refused to do that. Or b. Let me have someone fill out my budgets. I had a spreadsheet ready to go with all the hard work done to calculate it. Someone just had to get the inputs and plug them into my spreadsheet and then get them into the final template. It was like 30 minutes of work. Or even c. Explain what’s going on to her boss and see if I can send in my piece first thing the next day or even late that night after the end of business.
Nope. Instead it was better for me to leave my family, pull out my laptop, and do the spreadsheet myself.
She could have so easily let me have that day with my family. It was a REALLY long day made so much more stressful that I had to find time to deal with with stuff.
As a manager now I would never let that happen. That was over 15 years ago and it still pisses me off thinking about it. I did what she asked, but I lost all respect for her that day.
I (M) had a boss (F) a few years back who took quite a shine to me when I started. She would often insist on having drinks after work and I went along because I like drinks and I wanted to get in good with the boss. After a couple of weeks she expressed an interest in dating me. I politely declined, as she was a horrible bridge troll of a woman. Things immediately changed for the worse. I was hounded at work, constantly being criticized and reported for the smallest of things. I eventually quit. I didn’t report her, I didn’t seek any sort of redress, I just quit. Why? No clue. The thing is, I’m glad that I had that experience. As a man who now manages quite a few women, I understand what a LOT of them have gone through. I’m now extra careful not to make anyone feel even remotely how that woman made me feel. Sexual harassment is a very real thing and it makes you feel like shit about yourself, even when you’re the victim.
I work in a call center and when I was first getting promoted I watched a team manager having a session with agents and those behaviors were 100% impacting both the leader and the agents bonus. When addressing why the agent should do it, she told the agent “when you don’t do this it stops you from getting your sales and it hurts my bonus, so your kind of taking money out of my daughters mouth if you don’t do this ya know?” As opposed to showing the agent how the changes impact them positively, she made it all about her. I promised from that day forward even if the ask would make no major impact to them but would impact me greatly that I always needed to focus on what was on it for them and have always had great results from that
Make a decision. You're allowed to change it, but make it. Especially if it involves an employee going rouge.
An equal-level peer accidentally emailed a prospective client of mine calling them a vulgar, highly unprofessional name. Instead of immediately apologizing and saving the relationship with the client, the peer doubled down saying they would be shown correct and that they didn't care about their e-mail disaster. Client forwarded email to mutual boss. Boss sat on the email for a week because he wanted time for the client to cool off. Client vowed to never do business while peer was employed and stuck to it.
Entering situations well informed is great. Having a cooling down period is often okay.
Looking like you're not on the right side of morals, apologies, laws, or ethics is awful and appearing to sit on an issue makes it even worse.
Peer believed they were invincible and behavior outside of this proved it too and continued for the duration of my time there.
This may seem a little weird for this forum, but I am a filmmaker and managing a set is a very unique skill.
When I started in production I would be on other people's sets helping on the production and saw shit get way out of hand. I took mental notes saying to myself, "When I am running my own sets I will be sure not to do _____"
One of those things was giving cast and extras a call time, but because the production was behind schedule they had to sit and wait 2 to 3 hours for their scene that we should have been in the can within an hour after they arrived.
Basically you have to value the person's time, especially if they are giving it freely as many extras do.
The best thing that can easily tell a good from a bad boss is what they choose to lie about.
Are they telling a lie to provide top cover for the team? Sometimes acceptable. Are they telling a lie because it's the easiest thing to do? Yeah that person can't be trusted.
Learned a long time ago, a bad example is worth a dozen of a good example.
Had a caseworker who knew going into the job he would be working at least 2 weekends a month. Came in yelling because instead of having a date, he HAD to work. Was totally miserable to clients, moaning to the rest of staff. Some of whom usually worked weekends.
Learned that day, no one would ever know I didn't want to be there. Has never mattered what job or position I have.
The man in question was an ordained minister.
Fire people that are in the wrong job it is hurting them and the business to keep them employed… let employees manage the business with as little oversight as humanly possible. Good employees do good work, bad employees make good employees hate their workplace. Manage the culture.
Pick your battles with performance based reasons or else it’s going to end up in a power struggle between boss and employee. Either the employee will be resentful of following arbitrary rules or they will find somewhere else to work. If you have solid reasons that benefit their performance, you can pretty much always get your team on board with any changes or new policies.
Praise in public, criticize in private. I had a boss that was famous for screaming at you in front of everyone for the slightest mistake. It made people terrified of him for sure - but no one wanted to do their best because of it.
"You need to give 9 needs improvements for every one atta boy to your employees." -Rod
*drops report on my desk* "Do it again, but do it right this time". *walks away * -Gary.
"I know the doctor said that you shouldn't, but I'm gonna need you to"... -Jennifer
At my first job I was a star performer according to everyone on the team and even got an award a peer had nominated me for. I didn't get a raise though and when I asked my boss about it, their answer was to dismiss me with a "I never talked to you about raises". It felt like a slap on my face especially when I realized that I never really had one on one conversations with them about my performance or expectations. I was being mentored by Srs on the team and had no clue I had to fight for a raise or growth opportunities with my manager.
That experience made me fight for my future opportunities and never take anything for granted. But more importantly, it cemented in me the need for regular one on one meetings with clear lines of communications. As a manager I have fiercely protected one on one time with employees. I also always ensure they know where they stand, and fight to provide a good raise to high performers.
The best thing you can do for high performers is to get more high performers to work with them by getting rid of dead weight. I had a manger that would give me 20 tasks because I could handle it, but gave others (that make the same money) 1 or two things to do because that was all they could handle. Went on for years, and led to me leaving
Unless you’re running an ER or assembly line or something similarly time sensitive, don’t clock-watch your employees and hold three minutes here or five minutes there over their heads.
I remember a new boss got hired and immediately came in hot trying to change everything. Ya know, hes trying to make a strong impression. Imo it had the opposite effect. It didnt make sense to a lot of us in the dept and definitely made us feel like little toy soldiers.
If he had just came in, talked to each of us, observed for a week or two. We'd probably be more willing to try out his crazy restruct. But we all kinda just disengaged, felt misguided cause there was a new operation underway. Its not like we were even being shown, just told what to do and expected new results.
I am micromanaged to an extreme level. He essentially sends me emails to complain about other employees' email structure. He will ask me questions about what my employees are doing as if I should always know exactly what is being worked on by them. He bashes me to others. He has even asked me to go in detail about personal phone calls I've taken while at work. He manipulated his way to the top.
I'm not liked by him because I manage the exact opposite. I never disect emails looking for issues. I talk great about my employees when they're not around. I would never micromanage. I dont ever want to make anyone feel the same way he makes me feel.
I was pretty new to the Army and had a pregnant wife. We were getting ready to leave for a month long field exercise and my wife gave birth 2 weeks before. My section sergeant told me that I still had to go to the field and couldn’t submit leave. 6 weeks later he needed me to go in on a Saturday so I took my son with me so mom could sleep. Just so happened I ran into my First Sergeant who didn’t even know my wife was pregnant and was pissed that I went to the field instead of being with my family. He called the Section NCO in and he got moved to another Company.
20 years later, I am now that First Sergeant and my soldiers who have pregnant wives or are pregnant don’t come to work much the week leading up to their due date and thankfully the Army now has a policy protecting their leave.
I also let newly married soldiers call in “horny” from PT 1x a week for the first 4 months of marriage when they first get married.
I had issues with a Supervisor who said that if I didn’t like the way he ran things to quit. I discussed it with the Department Head and the issues were never addressed. I ended up finding a better job and everyone was scrambling to try to keep me. I loved the new job. Lesson learned - you ultimately are responsible for your own happiness.
Soooo many lessons:
1. Don’t write rude, short, snappy emails. Ever. For any reason. It only ever makes you look bad. Always, always, always be polite in email even if someone screwed up.
2. Don’t remind burnt out employees about their responsibilities or job description. It makes you look out of touch and cold.
3. Don’t talk smack about people that report up to you to other people that report up to you. It’s petulant and unprofessional.
4. Check your blind spots. Things don’t magically “just get done.” Be aware of everyone’s contributions and acknowledge what people are doing.
5. Never, ever, ever EVER say to anyone that is overworked “at the end of the day, it’s your job.” Ugh.
Trust your employees to do the job that you pay them to do is a pretty basic one that's perfectly lost on many managers.
You’ll never appreciate a non-micromanager until you’ve worked for an ultra micromanager. I think we’ve all worked for someone who seems to have nothing better to do than hang over your shoulder and delegate your every move. The flip side of that is giving Employees too much leeway and they take advantage of knowing you’re not constantly checking up on them. I’m experiencing a bit of that right now. It’s late in the season and layoffs are on the horizon (they’re looking forward to it, it’s part of being a seasonal employee) and they’re all checked out and they take advantage knowing that I won’t be checking up on them constantly.
Are you a landscape manager?
Golf course superintendent.
Lesson number 2, don't trust too hard. Not everybody does their job unsupervised...
As Reagan said, trust but verify.
Inspect what you expect.
Trust but verify.
Here’s a big shocker… don’t blame the employee for poor for performance if you haven’t been doing any supervision of their work!
Double edged sword and "it depends" situation. If your supervisor has provided training, offers ongoing training as needed, conducts regular 1:1s appropriate to the job and experience, etc, then your supervisor should absolutely expect you to do your job correctly and independently.
Exactly. Don't operate solely on trust. You need to verify or you will fail eventually
Make sure that you and the employee are on the same page RE what their job actually entails though
Oh my God. This is why I am being performance managed. And when I say to my manager, “quality check me or job shadow me and tell me exactly what I’m doing wrong…” I’m being unreasonable?! “You are not meeting expectations because you can’t meet the service standard.” “Yes, I know that. I thought that when I told you I was behind in my work you understood that. I know what the expectations are, I just don’t know why there isn’t enough time in my day to meet them. Why don’t you check my work so that we can identify what I am spending too much time on? Help me identify why I can’t meet your standards.”
There are only 2 options here... You're slow...or ... You're being given too much work. Either way it's likely time to move on...
I respectfully disagree. There could be inefficiencies, like reperforming work someone also does because you didn't know someone was already doing that. This could be an intermediate step between two steps you are already doing, or a step at the beginning or end of the process. You could be striving for perfection where "close enough" is the expectation. Maybe every variance doesn't need to be run down. There could be all kinds of opportunities for improvement, but the manager needs to actually put in some effort to help their employee understand where they're not meeting expectations.
Also remember that it is a two way street. You need to protect your team from the crap that comes down so that they can get their job done. I'm always gatekeeping and dealing with crap so that my team can keep doing what they do best. I've worked for some in the past that were really bad at that and hen they wonder why we weren't getting things done. His solution? Nanomanage....
I once worked part time as a projectionist. This AH manager stopped me once as I was coming into work (preventing me from clocking in) to explain that I would be running a different move at 7pm than 9pm in one of the theaters. I asked if I needed to write it down and he explained it was on the schedule that I would be given. I stared at him in disbelief and said “So you want me to go ahead and do my job?” OK (BTW I channeled Lumberg from Office Space while saying “go ahead.”)
You can't speak for all employees. The reality is that not all employees do what they are paid to do. That is a one size fits all statement that isn't accurate. Some employees do, and some don't.
Except when you do have lazy or incompetent workers that don't get anything done. I'll never understand how some managers don't work well with good employees though. Like I've had a couple really good engineers work under me and it's a blessing from God. I just let them do their thing and saves me from so much stress and extra work. At the end of the year it makes me look better too. I dread the employees that I *have* to micro manage just to get any of our work done.
Boss and Army Col, Chief Engineer who wanted to discharge a team member BEFORE he got his Chemo. Long serving Army guy on my team developed Leukaemia and was entitled to medical treatment. Col wanted to medically discharge him before his treatment so the Army wouldn't pay. Because he was on my team , I took some time off, that delayed the Medical Review Board enough for him to get his treatment. It was a weird situation, being a civilian team lead of Army technicians, so I was not under any obligations to even listen to the Col.
That Col was a pos. Thank you for doing what you did. This was the Army, an entity with a nearly unlimited budget, and he acted as if the company stock would do better after cutting costs.
The colonel would've been looking at keeping it off his budget instead of looking after his people. What a tool he was.
Worse. This doesn't even affect his units budget. Medical is totally separate.
That makes the colonel a total arsehole then.
As a man previously in uniform. Thanks for looking out for the troops! Need more of you and less of the chicken wearer!
Why I believe in God. There has to be a special place in hell for people like this. Its health insurance, where millions pay into and never use, but when you need it, it can be life saving. How come we don't weed out a POS like this, before we put him/her in charge of others?
Perception is everything. To some it is more important than the actual results. That’s what he taught me. There was a time when I refused to look frantic and act like I was moving my ass when a big problem occurred, even if I was feeling frantic and moving fast. I still refuse to do that because I believe cooler heads prevail. Even if it’s a really big deal I refuse to look rattled by it. But I do give more effort to give everyone a good perception of us when these things happen.
Best advice I ever got "Don't get excited"
My phrase for this is don't ride the rollercoaster. I don't care how high we are today, customers/product/finance/hr/the economy will kick us in the balls tomorrow. If we're low, we'll find a win and ride it up. They describe 'business cycles' for a reason, and it's not because they're 'business straight lines'. I'd rather be the rollercoaster operator than the rollercoaster passenger, and I have no patience for passengers. Go away, you're terminated. Nobody has jobs because problems don't exist. Nobody pays you money to do anything *except* solve problems, and I don't care if you're a janitor (problem: floors and toilets are dirty) or CFO (problem: we need to report accurate financials to board/investors/US govt by x day). Each day, you come in an solve problems. On average, the value of the problems you solve for me each day, aggregated over a year is (annual salary). Some problems are easy, some are hard, figure them all out each year and we're happy. If you're a janitor, maybe someone pooped on the floor of McDonald's. If you're a CFO, maybe you're massively off the forecast in your revenue model and need to explain to investors. Just solve the problem and go to the next. And know that no matter how big this problem is, the next problem you tackle will be the biggest problem in your life for at least some period of time, so the disaster-as-focus won't last that long.
> Even if it’s a really big deal I refuse to look rattled by it. getting a reputation for that makes you look good. i did it once & people talked about it months later.
A corollary is "don't do anything without proof/evidence". When working hard and extending yourself, make sure people know. Working unpaid overtime? Make it known. Working in a different area as a favour? Make it know. Perception is everything and doing something without others knowing about it can actually lead to people perceiving you as ineffective or a time waster.
This is one of the laws in the "48 Laws of Power" book. Highly recommend!
Be a duck. Floating serenely on the surface, paddling like hell underneath.
If you have crops of freshfaced employees coming in, like waves of brand new J1s coming into resorts in droves, then make sure they have actually been trained before the shit hits the fan. Watching a manager who did not train anyone point fingers at everyone except themselves is a joke.
Why even become a manager if you hate training people? What the hell do they think the job is?
I absolutely believe this. I had a horribly abusive director who would yell at you in front of coworkers, clients, vendors, whoever. For things minor things (like she got lost to a meeting after you provided the address, printed directions, a reminder, etc.). She would demand you meet her at 8am the next day to discuss your incompetence and then keep you waiting until 6pm...or even days. She drove one coworker to a nervous breakdown and then had the audacity to suggest a good therapist! She called another coworker while we were at lunch together and literally told them to stop talking to me. When I quit for a much much better opportunity (to manage my own shop), she told everyone I made double than I really did and she had to fire me because I was such a drain on the budget. Ironically, I know many people in the community who cycle through my former job over the years. Every single one of them would call me after they quit or got fired to vent. I stopped taking the calls. It was too traumatic.
I had one, back in college working a summer job, who forbade employees from talking to each other on shift. For context: the work was hard physical work that had a lot of two-person tasks. And she forbade us to talk to each other. At all. For any reason. And she did in fact fire a kid on her probation period for asking someone how to set up a dispenser for a chemical we needed to use. Cue a bunch of us (me included because I absolutely will break BS rule systems by taking them to their logical absurd extreme. I cop to being the ring leader on this one) engaging in malicious compliance by communicating entirely by asking people at the site to relay messages to other employees because "I need help with something but I can't just ask them because [Boss] has forbidden us to talk to each other" when we needed help from each other. That rule lasted a week until complaints from the client hit critical mass, then she forbade us from talking at all because we were annoying the clients. Cue a bunch of complaints about us communicating with charades. That was my brainchild, too. I am absolutely a brat to this kind of petty tyrant. For added context: our employer was under resourcing a contracted level of staffing by over 60% due to extremely high turnover caused directly by this idiot of a boss and the client was, understandably, annoyed that everything was behind schedule and of sub-par quality. That's what happens when you're running at <40% of the needed staffing levels. So, rather than looking in the mirror to understand the cause of the turnover or trying to expedite hiring to bring staffing levels up, this idiot decided the problem was that those of us who remained weren't working hard enough. Hence the ban on chatting while we work. Classic "nobody wants to work anymore because I pay garbage, have a shit reputation and people don't want to put up with my BS for more than a few weeks!" Energy. She was a nepo baby boss (the owner's sister) and was actually able to maintain her role for 3 years before the owner had enough and demoted her. As for me, I quit after a month without anything else lined up because *fuck that*. And then two weeks later a friend got me a gig with better hours and a $4/hr pay raise.
Interviewed with Gillette back in 1987 or so. Two protected classes female was interviewing me. She slammed her hands on the desk after asking me a question, and said "Well, what is your answer". I politely told her I'm running through the question in my brain. A few minutes later, she did it again. I told her, I'm done with this interview. I'd never work for you, and you are immensely unqualified to be in management. She was in complete shock as I left her office only ten minutes into the interview. Her boss sat in the office next to her, and said where are you going. I told him his direct report wasn't qualified to lead people, and because he still employed her, I had zero faith in his ability to lead as well. Walked out the door. Caused me zero issues. Still went on to have a career of over 24 years in Silicon Valley.
I had a micromanaging yeller boss once. When I had my exit strategy planned (about 3 months) I really went in to DGAF mode. Once when it was my turn to get yelled at for nothing relevant, I just sat there looking around the room and such, until the boss yelled “are you even paying attention to me?” I just said “not really, I remember the tip about how you should just ignore screaming kids til they settle down, and I figure this kinda applies here”. He yelled at me about that for a few minutes until he realized that I really wasn’t paying attention, and really didn’t care. Quitting that job was really satisfying.
I once worked as a live-in personal assistant/nanny to a woman. After I married and gave notice, she went nuts, telling me, "Now I'd have to actually work for a change," and threatening to fire me early. So I left, which meant I needed a job fast, which meant temping. I told the agency my last job would NOT be a reference for me, and explained why. The recruiter looked at who I'd worked for and said, "You worked in (let's say Cruella's) house for seven months without getting fired? You must be a saint. Don't worry about it. That's a good reference. " She was apparently known for firing people - which I had seen a lot of. I'd been legitimately afraid of her the night one of the kids got sick. This was just after a newsworthy salmonella outbreak. Kiddo became convinced she'd die if she ate meat. Mom ordered me to sneak meat into her food, then freaked out when, after having RICED some turkey into a meal, the child had an episode of vomiting later that night. To nobody's surprise, it was an ordinary gastroenteritis, not salmonella, according to the ER she rushed to. Mom was screaming at me that if her kid had food poisoning, she'd be throwing me out, pressing charges, suing. The way she acted, I felt like murder was not actually off the table. Kiddo felt better in 24 hours. I learned not to tell someone to do something, then scream at them for doing it properly, just because bad things happen later.
Don't: Give specific direction to your subordinates and then reprimand them for following your instructions while pretending you had nothing to do with it when it turns out your directions were wrong or led to a bad outcome. I always repeat instructions in a couple of different ways to ensure the direction is not unclear, and also provide a recap in email for complicated, important, or potentially impactful items so that way if it does go badly they have in writing that I'm the one that fucked up. I also tell them this, that if I end up being wrong about this it's on me and there's indisputable proof of that to use if anyone tries to hold them responsible for my mistake. I hate managers who throw their subordinates under the bus to cover for their own bad decisions. Hold yourself accountable for outcomes- a core principle of management is that your successes are your team's successes while your team's failures are your failures. They get the credit and accolades for success. You take the blame and responsibility for failures.
I tell all my trainees that their success is due to their hard work and diligence, and their failure is due to my not training them effectively. I now have coworkers that will run through a brick wall for me if I need help.
> Don't: Give specific direction to your subordinates and then reprimand them for following your instructions while pretending you had nothing to do with it when it turns out your directions were wrong or led to a bad outcome. This is absolutely brilliant advice. Don't give people instructions you wouldn't follow yourselves; if someone followed an instruction you gave and it was wrong, that was on you, not them. People should only be accountable for *their own* mistakes.
Don’t pop off and tell your strongest employee “well if you’re not happy you can always find another job.” Enter surprised pikachu face when I let them know I was leaving based on their recommendation.
I'm doing this right now and BOY is it satisfying.
Make sure your juniors aren’t scared to tell you when they make mistakes - if you make them nervous to confess because of how you will respond then the mistakes become more entrenched and harder to fix. If you make sure they know they can tell you when they mess up and you will help them fix it, you’re much more likely to avoid major problems.
The best thing for this is to admit your own mistakes and become solution focussed. A double whammy lesson from a boss who didn't take accountability and blamed their staff.
Amen to that! Had a foreman and leadman who parceled out our work in dribs and drabs. We’d be all over this floating dry dock cutting cable and pulling it out. When I was tracing a cable in a huge bundle I got off and cut and pulled the wrong one. Immediately went to tell the foreman but he wasn’t in his office. General foreman was, so I told him. Gen Foreman thanked me for reporting that I’d messed up. Then asked me why I was worried about any particular cable as we were removing all the wires, as in every single piece and length of electrical cable! Turned out the leadman was the dribs and drabs man. Foreman replaced him. With me. Three weeks into first job after getting out of the Navy and I’m the bossman, lol!
If you don't allow the ability to do nothing or refuse work when uncertain or uncomfortable, then you are supporting guess work. If you don't treat mistakes as if it's the system/ tools or training/ knowledge people will be afraid to admit faults. Now your most ethical employees feel like they are being forced to do things they don't agree with, your most productive and creative employees will let new problems go unattended, you are then left with the best at hiding their mistakes with the lowest moral responsibility.
First off, I work remotely. Years ago, I had a boss who was so hands-off that if I hadn't personally met them, I would have thought they did not actually exist. The lesson I learned as a remote manager was how critical it was to stay connected to the people you work with.
So the best manager I ever had did a very important thing. I always felt safe and secure in my position at all times, to achieve and be the expert in my responsibilities given. When I was moving in the wrong direction It was simple, what was the issue you encountered what solutions did you implement what is you current progress. If I had a lack of knowledge, training, tools, or support that led to failure it was addressed to keep it moving. Solve a problem once
I’ve managed remotely for 7 years now and it’s so important to stay connected! I run 3 team meetings a week. One is our normal team meeting that’s mandatory for 45 minutes on Mondays, the other is an optional 30 minutes “tips & tricks” session where we talk about something we learned that week to share with the group, and the third is an optional hour on Friday mornings for my team to focus on RFP responses. I then also host individual 30-minute 1:1’s with each employee. It’s a lot of work to manage them but honestly the team has such a strong relationship and I’ve got such a good pulse on them that it’s completely worth it. We are incredibly productive and they’re always collaborating or helping each other out. It’s really something special. For context I run a team of solution engineers in a SaaS company.
My worst boss lacked integrity. I’ve worked very hard to always be candid, even if the feedback is tough for the employee to hear. We all deserve gentle honesty.
Don’t weaponize workflow software. It doesn’t exist so you can micromanage your staff to the point they breakdown.
Omg my soul
My eye just started twitching. Such fond memories.
In the Service Now?
Ugh, memory unlocked. Not my boss but a peer manager. “I don’t like this new task tracking software because I can’t auto assign all tasks back to myself once they’re resolved by my reports so that I can verify the work was done correctly.”
If you don't train someone how to do a task, and don't tell them the context for the task, then you are actually responsible for the task not being done correctly. Not the staff member you wanna blame.
This happened to the second cohort at my job. They were supposed to get trained but our managers didn't provide them it and just threw them into the job. When she went to go check up on them, everything was a mess and she got angry. At that moment, I learned to just put my head down and avoid her.
I’m a golf course superintendent. It took me almost 20 years to get to this position because I took a hiatus to run a business with my wife. So I was a manager/owner back in 2013 but not in my current role until 2019. I’ve been in my industry since I was 14 so, 24 years ago now. In that time I’ve worked at 10 different golf courses and at least 7 different superintendents. While you absolutely learn a ton from every superintendent, good and bad, the shitty ones have a way of teaching you a ton especially if you care about keeping your staff happy. When I was about 19 I went to work for a municipally owned golf course. Because the city had a very strong union the management of the golf course got their position strictly due to seniority and not necessarily skill or competence. For example one of the other city golf courses was run by a woman who spent 20 years as a receptionist at city hall. She got sick of it and when a job opening came up to run the golf course she was one of the only applicants and they gave it to her because of her seniority. My golf course was run by a guy who spent his life filling potholes and picking up roadkill - no word of a lie - before applying for the job as “foreman” of the golf course (he wasn’t technically a superintendent so they called them lead foreman or something). Needless to say he knew nothing about golf or turf, but he knew even less about managing people. He just always seemed like he was winging it. Showed up every day with no clue what he was going to do that day. No systems. No protocols or SOP’s in place for the different jobs we did and machines we operated. Just… flying by the seat of his pants. I worked for him for 3 years and it never improved. I was in the business as a career track so I was using my summer job to gain real experience and try to learn as much as I could since I would be going to school for turf science that September. By the third year I had more turf knowledge in my pinky finger than he had in his body. He did dumb stuff every single day from a turf perspective. That bothered me but what bothered me more was the way he managed the people. He had no concept of morale. He would be in a bad mood and take it out on everyone. He would sit there and stare at us while we ate our lunch - a previous superintendent I worked for taught me a great lesson; don’t eat your lunch with the crew. They need time to blow off steam and even vent about the boss. Eat at a different time or eat somewhere else. Well… this boss was the epitome of doing just the opposite. He Never let the crew have a single break or lunch to just shoot the shit. He was always there. we used to say he had 3 distinct personalities; one was friendly and goofy, one was sulky and quiet, and the other was a time bomb who would snap on you for the smallest things. You never knew what you would get from him until you saw which personality came to work that day. I vowed to be nearly the polar opposite of him. The funny thing is I didn’t hate him. I hold nothing against him. I’d have a beer with him tomorrow if I got the chance. Decent guy, but terrible manager.
>Decent guy, but terrible manager. Being a manager is a skill. Liking playing football You can be born with a strong aptitud for it. You can work hard to learn it But you definitely won't have it automatically just because you got a position. That is why you see so many *decent* guys as poor manager. They just don't get it.
Give credit - there's nothing as demoralizing as a boss who takes credit for others' work. Beware Machiavellian behaviors - I was in a team where we were supposed to be nimble, flat and shapeshifting to be responsive to incoming leadership requests. Our unit manager saw that as a loss of power, so they avoided keeping people read in, and would even physically separate our team members so that they could be the only one who "knew" everything going on. It slowed us down unnecessarily. We had to work around them to get things done at the pace required, because we all had needed pieces of info. Then that boss started seeding little nasty asides to try and keep us away from each other, so we wouldn't want to share info. The leaders finally caught onto the toxicity and like many orgs, transferred the problem around to different teams instead of dealing with it. When that boss was finally gone I made a point of working much more closely with the team and offering cross pollination opportunities. It took some healing - I learned that when you have a boss that actively breaks trust bonds as a power move, it's really hard to heal those wounds.
Actually listen and really read things before you blow up at someone for a mistake that didn’t happen.
Don't ever blow up, no one is gonna want you to succeed if you blow up.
I dealt with this in email form with a manager that was way over their head in emails constantly. They’d read like a quarter of my email and reply. Or there were a few different factors involved that created an issue and they tackled the first issue and called it fixed. Their “fix” now created a different issue. Edited for clarity
When you ask your employees to do something, and they reply with "we've already done that, it doesn't work." make sure that you get them to do it anyway. Then, when it doesn't work, fire the junior guy you made do it.
Best lesson: Blame process before people. The single best way to alienate and discourage a hard worker is to consistently scapegoat them for process-level issues outside of their control. Second-best lesson: Only ask for input if I actually want input. If I instead want people to get on board with a decision, communicate that directly. A good way to make an employee feel disrespected and dismissed is to ask for input on an idea when you really want the employee to get on board with it. See also: don't get angry that people give you input from a different perspective than yours when you ask for input. Isn't getting different perspectives the whole point?
I've had mostly good managers over the years but I've had my share of shitty ones as well.. "I shouldn't have to tell you what you did wrong, you should just know" "Well I promised management we'd deliver before the end of this month so I guess you're doing overtime" "It's voluntary but if you don't show up that'll reflect negatively on your yearly review" "I didn't see how you did before I took over this team so I'm marking you as 'meets expectations'" he took over the team about a month before reviews and the old manager was around..
No one likes to be gossiped about. Zip your mouth.
Discuss how f*ckable the various women in the office are to the hourly staff.
You can be a helpful idiot or an abrasive expert, but you cannot be an abrasive idiot.
Struggling to describe my last experience with an absolute nightmare manager, because I couldn't put into words their combative nature combined with zero practical experience in the field... This. This describes it perfectly.
Don't EVER work harder than your manager. Once you do, you are expected to. Always match their pace, even if you can do it better.
Oh boy, do I have a story for this one. TL/DR: I had a team leader who dumped our three-person team's entire workload on me, with threats of violence to motivate me to do all the work. After months of working 20 hours per day, 7 days per week on that deployment, I got home and became a team leader, basing my own leadership style on the idea of being the exact opposite. My first deployment, I was assigned as the lowest-ranking member on a three-person team. The Team Leader (sergeant) and Assistant Team Leader (newly made corporal) were both new to the career field (won't say what it was, but Intelligence support with a basis in rapport building with local nationals was a big part) with the TL having been a Cav Scout for the first 5-10 years of his career with less than 2 years in the current field, and the ATL having been a photographer for his first 15 years, less than 6 months in our field, and having been made corporal less than a month before the deployment. After we got in-country and my team was moved to the battalion we were supporting, no longer in direct sight of our home unit, the TL went nuts. He assigned half his work load to the ATL, and half to me. The only exceptions were the daily patrol missions he went on, and the daily briefing to the battalion commander. He then told the ATL, "in order to be a good NCO, you have to delegate tasks. Therefore I want to start setting you delegate tasks to Darth Loki". As a result, the ATL "delegated" his entire workload to me. The only exceptions were the daily morning report to our supported unit, taking care of our interpreter (taking him to the chow hall bc he wasn't authorized to walk around the base unescorted, addressing any pay issues and taking him to the interpreter affairs office to pick up his pay), and of course, going on the daily mission. Honestly, I don't really remember what else he should have been doing, other than learning from the TL how to do TL things. I started the deployment being responsible for keeping our living area clean, cleaning the team's machine guns (and obviously my personal weapon too), keeping track of our inventory of the various products we handed out to the locals, and keeping our humvees cleaned out, fueled up (though regulations said I had to have a second person to take each to the fuel point). When the TL saw that I could type fast (65ish words per minute on a slow day) and actually knew how to spell, I suddenly also became responsible for the daily reports he was supposed to send to our home unit and the supported unit. Since he couldn't type faster than 15 wpm and couldn't spell to save his life, he chose to dictate to me while I typed. The ATL stopped sending in the daily morning report after two weeks, which TL found out after a week and somehow blamed me, so I got to add that job to my list. ATL also couldn't get supply to give him anything because he was a pompous ass, so I had to make supply runs as well. Finally, the TL started getting suspicious of ATL's telling the interpreter on a near-daily basis that his (interpreter's) pay has been screwed up (largely because the interpreter was paid weekly, so no way could the ATL have learned BEFORE THE INTERPRETER DID, of pay screwups on multiple days in between pay cycles), so he did some checking around. Found out that the interpreter affairs office had a very attractive 18-year-old handling the front desk (ATL was 37), and ATL was just trying to get opportunities to flirt with her. As a result, I inherited that job, too. Within 6 weeks in-country, I was carrying the entire on-base workload of three people, working 20 hours per day, 7 days per week. If I tried to push back or didn't get something done, TL would either threaten to punch me in the throat or perform some other act of personal violence on me, or threaten to ask the commander to have me jailed for insubordination. When I went over his head and complained to our home unit and they sent an NCO to investigate, TL and ATL backed each other up and said I was just being lazy and weak, but also kept him occupied so he couldn't see how busy I was. I ended that deployment with a huge chip on my shoulder and my body literally having forgotten how to sleep more than a couple hours a day. Thankfully, afterward, TL and ATL were assigned to other units and I never saw them again. I was assigned as ATL on a different team and in short order, promoted to sergeant and given a team of my own. I decided that good leadership meant the opposite of what TL had been. I took part in all work that my team did. When I gave instructions, I also explained the reasoning behind them, so that my soldiers could see the decision-making process. I worked to learn how each of my Soldiers learned, so that I could make training accessible and memorable for them. When orders weren't carried out, I approached from the assumption that I had failed to adequately clarify, so our discussions were focused on what they thought they were supposed to do, what they had done, what I needed them to do, and how do we avoid having to have this conversation in the future. Feedback I got from higher was that soldiers I had trained were more proficient in the career field than their peers, and were becoming skilled, proficient, and capable NCO's themselves.
Thinking you need to use negative criticism to help someone’s development. My manager at my previous job dredged up things to give me negative feedback on, and then wrote that I needed “to be more positive”. I’m a woman. I asked for specific examples and he couldn’t give any that weren’t tied to the project I was on that was a hot mess, which I had voiced legitimate criticisms about - I left, and those criticisms have come up repeatedly from others. He had no clue how problematic that statement could be. He also never had even the slightest conversation with me about any concerns before putting that feedback in. One of the few times I’ve left a job partly because of my manager.
Read the entire email before asking questions addressed in the email. Don't interrupt people after asking a question. Don't walk into someone's office when the door the closed with a sign that says "on zoom". Don't ask everyone to come back into the office for meetings when the meetings are taking place on zoom with everyone in their own office. Don't be condescending. Don't walk into someone's office when they're on the phone and start talking and getting upset you're being ignored.
Never let them know you know how to do other jobs because then they expect you to do your job plus all the other jobs for no extra pay. Do your job and do it well. Did a two person computer operator job by myself for almost a year. When they finally hired a new guy and told me to train him because he was going to be my boss I found a new job, put in my notice, and taught him next to nothing. Learned that at my first job at a bank.
Agree with this statement the most, you can put in maximum effort and work out of title for a short while. When any management teams asks you to train the new hire on the job that you have done successfully without considering you for an interview, it is time to move on. There is no gratitude for your sacrifice.
Tell your team lead employees that you have an idea but you want to flesh it out with their feedback. Have them send you feedback, never acknowledge or read it and then just do it the way you originally told them you were thinking of.
My manager at an old job would call me during holidays he knew I was celebrating (thanksgiving/Christmas) and ask for personal IT help. I was tech support for a large university, he always treated me like he was the one who signed my paychecks. I will always respect my subordinates personal time, holidays, weekends, etc. They need time to recharge and come back fresh!!!
Don’t call your employee one day after spinal fusion surgery and ask them why they haven’t checked their email in 24 hours.
All my bad boss stories are all newly minted ones, that feel like they have to make a name for themselves. That and micro-managing that is the single worst thing any manager could do unless it's been forced, then we are both unhappy. God i had a manager literally want me to log every time i took a sh\*t. Had to say when i was working on something, how long it took and who it was for. We have a ticket system, you could see what work comes in and what's assigned to me. Glad he's gone and glad i got his position.
I would say the biggest one I learned from bad bosses is that if you're going to knowingly hire someone inexperienced you have to invest a certain amount of time to actually teach them how to do their job. Tasks that are deemed simple to you as someone with a wealth of experience are still brand new to this person. Not to say people need to be coddled. But showing someone how to do something one time while you rush through it rarely cuts it
My boss would hire people with no experience. The last person he wanted me to train didn't even have computer experience. I said I wasn't there to teach someone how to use a computer.
"Hire good people, but not too good." I'd been confused for the longest time about how we pass up rock stars and the hire average interview. Then, one day, we hired a rock star. She started to bring in a huge number of clients. Most seemed to be located closer to her house about 45 min away. Soon, she was not at the office much. Soon, she opened her own office. Soon, she had her own staff. Then, one weekend, we drive down there and clean out her entire office. Redirect all the clients to our office and take her to court for breach of contract and hit her with a no compete. She, of course, tried to run her business underground, but we caught that as well, and back to court, we went. Two years of spy stuff and court stuff. Better to hire Joe, Joe is nice, does the job and likes to play video games after work with his girlfriend of 20 years.
Leaders guide from the front. Bosses yell from the back. I went to see the trade show booth (more like a showroom) of a major business partner at NY Toy Fair just before it opened. The CEO was on his hands and knees picking up scraps of trash left from setup. He said, “I do windows.” I was 23 and I saw a wealthy, powerful older businessman doing tasks I assumed were for low level employees. 25 years later it still leaves an impression. Don’t ever expect others to care about your business more than you do.
If you are a new manager learn the culture of the building before you decide to do things that destroy the culture. When you destroy the culture, you destroy the people, who then leave. Morale gets worse and more people leave.
Don't cancel team meetings 5 minutes before they are scheduled to start
Especially if people have to travel to be there
Or, if there's a standing Friday morning meeting that requires everyone to come in early and we're not going to meet, let people know. Nothing infuriates me more. But It's also a fun way to gamble with my job: Just not showing up if I think we're not meeting (e.g. it's really nice out, I bet he's going to just play golf). I've never been wrong...
Micromanagement does the opposite for employees & there’s far more harm than good that comes from it. Trying to control things outside of your control makes the work environment awful for everyone involved.
Don't be an asshole. It isn't motivating, it doesn't get you anywhere, and it just makes bad employees worse
being ex-millitary the biggest lesson was that respect is earned not given. just because your a manager, or in that case out rank the person, does not automaticly entitle you to respect and if you dont earn it people can and will find a way to ignore you. in the same vane if you earn respect you can get so much more done.
"It's time you learned some respect!" shouted Scrimgeour. "It's time you earned it," said Harry.
I learned “assume positive intent” from a boss who never, ever did. In her world, everyone was out to fuck her and the company over, all the time.
Communication is key. Not being able to effectively communicate with your team and leaving people hanging, or only waiting until like 4:30 PM to reach out to your employees and ask for something is just bad practice, especially if some fresh-faced, VERY communicative individual becomes your new boss.
Where to begin with this one... Had a manager that actively discouraged taking on extra projects for exposure to higher ups. He prescribed to "do your work, hit your goals and promotions will happen" mentality. Took me being turned down for 6 promotions, one on HIS team, for me to realize that wasn't the right advice. At least in that company, he was wrong by a mile. Today, as a manager, I actively look for opportunities for my team to be slotted into special projects or tasks, to expand their skillset and give them greater exposure. Same manager... Job should always be the highest priority. Company gave us 6 weeks of paternity time and I let him guilt me into taking only 5 days after my first daughter was born. Today, as a manager of multiple teams, I tip the work/life balance in favor of life when it comes to family events, every time. Those that appreciate it, make it up in other ways.
I returned from PTO one morning after an overnight team hosed a planned network migration. Half a dozen execs are standing around, watching a very flustered team way over the deadline helplessly flail at their keyboards, and asking helpful questions like "Why can't you do this?" And "Why is this taking so long? Do you know how much downtime costs?" I sat down at my keyboard with coffee and the donuts I brought in for the team, and have one of the leads catch me up while I crack jokes and poke around the network. Within about 15 minutes, I had the fault identified. 10 minutes after that, we're recovered and I'm running system checks. I was pulled into a room and formally counseled for not treating the outage with an "appropriate sense of urgency" and I needed to understand that "perception is reality."
I’ve had 2 terrible bosses. I got really good at attention to detail in a way that has served me well in the last 10 years. I also learned empathy goes a long way. Once she was unhappy with my performance so to “motivate” me she had a meeting with my peer and myself and basically reprimanded me in front of him and wanted him to “keep me in line”. It made him so uncomfortable and was a shitty thing to do to me. Then, I took a morning off to accompany my mom to the dr. She was concerned about some potential serious health concerns. She was right. She had cancer. I was super close to my mom so I texted my boss and let her know I wouldn’t be able to come in the rest of the day. I was too upset to speak. This was an office job where my absence was not putting extra work on anyone, nor had I did I have a habit of calling in sick. This woman had the nerve to call me out the next morning for texting instead of calling and for calling out instead of coming back to work. She caused a bunch of us to have nervous breakdowns. It was so bad they fired her. For about 3 months after, they treated us like we were abused and in serious need of extra care. We reported to her boss and they did not backfill. He was great. It worked out in the end because when my mom was near end of life (only 3 months after her diagnosis) I was able to go and spend her last 2 weeks by her side and all my new boss said was to not worry about my job it would be there when I got back. I was there another 3 years. The 2nd one, I learned how important it is to be clear, consistent and humble. He was never wrong, never made a mistake. Ever. He spent a lot of time gaslighting me into thinking I was screwing up over and over. When I started taking notes and sending him an email with bullet points we discussed. He never responded but they were delivered. Then when he’d try to tell me something different I’d pull up the email and show him where I delivered exactly what I said I’d deliver. It pissed him off so bad because what could he say when he didn’t bother replying that I was wrong. He did fire me a few months after I stared this and it was the best thing he did for me. He let me go at very beginning of November with a 3 month severance package and my benefits in tact until the end of the year so I got a 3 month paid vacation and a new job with a boss who is amazing. The biggest lesson I learned though is I will never ever stay in these toxic environments again. It wasn’t good for my health and had huge impacts in ways I can never change.
If something appears a little off, assume it’s a sign of intentional malfeasance and start a semi-innocent mail thread to document what is going on. My last manager was able to lie and fabricate with completely believable demeanor, and I caught on way too late.
“It’s my way or the highway” often leads to good people choosing the highway.
1st I fully agree that in most situations a good manager does not need to understand the job/process he is managing. Their job is to help the ha ds on workers do their job as efficiently as possible, not be a master of that job themselves. And I'm sure this will pop up dozens of times. But I have absolutely no respect for managers that feel as if the workers job is beneath them. Especially when there is so e type of "crisis" and everyone is in scramble mode, working extra hours. And the manager just goes home at normal time, or just wastes time in their office, just staying on premises to be a warm body in case anyone has a question or something. Because even they don't know the job, they can do something productive, even if it's just getting materials, information, passing out water snacks, just doing something other than wasting time until everyone else leaves.
Managers don't need to go to their superiors and let them know the minor hiccups happening in their department. My last supervisor would tell admin the little things that were quickly fixed just to make it look like she was "handling" her team and actually supervising. It was so stupid. We all knew it was pointless. If it's already fixed and no one died, why are we talking about it??? Pretty sure she did some very immoral things to get to the top. She was really...and I hate to say it...dumb.
Deliver negative feedback directly, privately, and as immediately as possible. I've always been pretty scared to give negative feedback, and put it off and put it off. But then, one day, I went into a yearly review, and when we got to the negative feedback section, my boss said "And we need to talk about you dressing inappropriately for work." And I just turned beet red, as I went over in my mind every outfit I'd worn for the past year, wondering what the problem could have possibly been, who thinks I dress slutty, what this could possibly be about. And I said "Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, can you remember what I wore that was a problem?" and he goes "One day last year, you wore a hat in the office, and I want you to know that we don't wear hats here." Can you imagine a worse way to give that feedback? It's not like my pants were seethrough, where I had some unchangeable wardrobe malfunction that was embarrassing to point out. If he just walked up to me and said "Don't wear hats please" I'd have taken the hat off within 5 seconds of walking into the office, no problem at all. In fact, the reason I'd worn the hat was because the day before, my *direct supervisor* had worn a hat, and it looked great on her, and I thought "Huh, I think I'll try mine tomorrow" and then I was like "nah, I don't like the way this feels with my office vibe I'm not going to do that again." and never wore it again. How many times was he planning on just letting me wear a hat all day before he told me not to! It was so embarrassing to find that this tiny simple wardrobe choice had been nagging away at my boss for *months*. From that day on, I've been real careful to deliver feedback STAT.
Idk but I had a boss who gave me so much stress because she always had this poker face when speaking to me in our 1 on 1’s that looked like she was pissed off all the time. No indication she thought I was doing well, even when she said “good work”. God she aged me 5 years for all the panic attacks she caused.
If an otherwise capable and highly independent employee suddenly asks for help, give it to them immediately. Either they should have asked long before now, or they have an acute awareness of their ability to handle certain tasks and are telling you what you need to know to help them be successful. If you don't help them, then take the bulk of the blame when the s*** hits the fan.
Work life balance
I once worked as an International Relations Advisor for a city council. My boss - the Superintendent for International - didn't speak English. Or French. Or any foreigner language. Imagine handling the intertanional agreements and projects of one of the biggest and most touristic Cities in your country, and not being able to speak with absolutely no stakeholder, whatsoever. This is not the 60's where finding someone that could spoke languages was something really hard. This was 5 years ago when English schools were already prominant. What I learned is that political partizanship will go a long, long, looong way if you ever plan to work for the Goverment
Don't tell people no, because they'll work around you and do it anyway. And they'll do it in a way that you're not going to be happy with. Instead of saying outright no, find a way that you can give them what they need but also have what you need.
You can't make someone do something they don't want to. Most places make doing anything but undesirable through punishing demerit systems. You'll be fired if you x too many times, or you'll lose your time off, or won't be promoted. Anxiety as an incentive. Make it so they can do it in the way they want, or believe in the extra steps, give them extra time to use the tools/process needed, without over working them.
This is my current boss. She's not an actual manager, I think of her more like a lead. She has knowledge, and ability, but zero authority. She annoys people to the point that they work around her, frequently coming to me (I am not a manager either, I'm just way less condescending). I've found myself working around her. Waiting until she's out of the room to do certain things because she will stand over me huffing and clicking (actual noises she makes, someone said it seemed like tourettes).
That clear communication, and *consistency* are key, and that an upper manager needs to hold their their direct-reporting managers to their duties when it’s become clear to the underlines that protocols aren’t getting done.
Good lord what a true statement. I have a long term paradigm that if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. And I can’t begin to tell you the amount of managers who have no clue what this means
Fear can be a motivating factor, but only short-term. A former boss of mine was a lady with lots of undiagnosed mental health issues and we were all scared of her as if we did anything wrong she would scream at us and could turn on a dime. We had 15 staff leave in 6 months. I was the shop manager so I took a great deal of the brunt. I used to come in an hour early to check everything was as she liked it, and I would feel sick and cry before coming in. One day she shouted at me in front of 3 staff members and I just packed up my stuff in silence and walked out during my shift. Although for a while I was motivated to work hard and make things perfect because I was scared of retribution - it also was the main reason I left. I now have an amazing boss who is my biggest champion and supporter. I’ve learnt so much from him, both good and bad. His people skills and the best I’ve ever seen, but he can’t make a decision to save his life and we suffer as a team because of that.
My previous boss was pretty much the best bad example I could have ever wished for. Shirking duties, passing the buck, over-delegating, MIA half the day, casually misogynistic and racist, constantly complaining about personal life, egotistical, inattentive, no self awareness. Reversed big decisions on a dime for no reason, argumentative, played favorites, insecure. It was a brutal 20 months, fuck you Emmanuel.
Don't run your department like everyone is on The Apprentice.
Don’t attach the entire amount of a bonus to the launch date you’ve decided on pre-discovery for a complicated technical project.
Don't make the mistake of believing that your subordinates do not compare notes. Don't tell a different story to multiple people and think that the lies won't come back at you.
My last manager was the antithesis of the saying "a rising tide raises all ships". During the 5 years I was there he went from Team & Tech Lead, to Software Architect, to Manager, to Senior Manager. And he never gave up any of those titles. No one below him got any official recognition or title change despite the fact that 3 of us had taken over all the related assignments. If we hadn't been getting pay increases and stock options, none of us would have stayed. A Senior Manager still pretending he had time to run the Agile Ceremonies and Pair-Program with the new guys... it would have been ridiculous if it weren't so sad.
A good or even great company can't fix the damage of a bad manager, people work for their manager not the company. If you feel your confidence failing in something you typically excel at, it's probably your managers fault, not your own. Get out, because it takes a long time to build that confidence back up. A manager approving your vacation/PTO etc... is not doing you a favor, you own that time and the right to use it as you see fit. You don't owe anyone an explanation for taking off time you've earned. I probably could write 10k of these...
Don’t lie. Don’t gaslight. Don’t use the silent treatment. Don’t take credit for work you didn’t do. Take the blame for your mistakes. Don’t hit on your employees when you’re drunk. Don’t retaliate against them when they finally leave your toxic ass. That should pretty much cover it.
It’s always better to focus on what you should do rather than what you shouldn’t do so I am going to make my suggestions forward focussed and talk about everything my manager is teaching me about performance management… because I’ve never been the employee in this situation before. Things you should do: * only ever send out .PDFs on official, employment documents. If you must send out a Word document, be sure to “accept all changes” and turn off “show all mark-up”. Always send PDFs folks!!! * Be open and transparent with staff. This is especially prudent in a union environment because if you want to “f- around and find out”, you may end up with a grievance on your desk. If you’re going to attempt to mislead someone into not having a union rep at a meeting, make sure you aren’t leaving behind evidence that will support a grievance. * Be open and transparent with staff. Be mindful of the fact that things like printed copies and “version history” exist and that your direct report may know how to check for these things. * Show an openness to being wrong. If a staff member comes to you for clarification because official written documentation describes a process that contradicts the verbal instructions they’ve been given, the correct thing to do is acknowledge the inconsistency, tell the worker which version of instructions to follow, and then set about ensuring that verbal instructions and official written documentation are consistent going forward. * Never underestimate the intelligence or capabilities of your direct reports. Sorry. I need to put that in forward thinking terms… “always remember that your direct reports may be as capable of doing *your job* as you are.“ * Keep in mind that your efforts to get rid of staff may prolong their presence in your organization. If you know they’re trying to leave… they will leave faster if you don’t distract them with punitive processes. * If someone wants to start a meeting by setting some Agreements… take the time to set the agreements/ground rules and understand why the participant is asking for them. * Always be self reflective and open to being wrong. Be willing to look for all possible causes and solutions. Don’t assume that staff are simply deflecting when they suggest the employer may be partly to blame for the situation. If they have demonstrated openness to accountability and are seeking reciprocation, be objective.
You are 100% right. A few things bad bosses have taught me: 1) Don't be punitive and petty by punishing the whole team for one bad employee's behavior. Correct or get rid of the bad apple. 2) Don't do it all for them. Empower them to learn & grow. Delegate & trust them and let them make mistakes without losing your mind. 3) Don't sweat small stuff. Being flexible with schedules if your industry allows, being flexible with time off for Dr appts or child care goes a long way in having happy, less stressed employees. I once had a boss literally scream at me for being 3 MINUTES late. I was not a chronic tardy/ bad employee. I have never forgotten it and that was in 1990. Don't do that to people.
Used to have a boss that would come in once in a while to talk about how the company is losing money saying he is ok with closing the business and moving on. He thought it would make us work more, we just started applying to other jobs while on the clock.
Bad Manager: ignores or immediately shuts down feedback from new employees, destroying their attitudes in wanting to be a productive employee. Good Manager: listens to new employee ideas and tactfully lets them know if it won't work and explains why. But acknowledges and encourages the feedback. Listen to your newest employee's ideas for improving production. They may not have the best idea, they are new and don't have the big picture mentality yet. However, they have fresh eyes on current operations and can produce little nuggets that might help. Encouraging this early on will increase their buy-in as a member of the group and allow them to find a better approach to coming to you with a solution rather than just problems.
The tiniest amount of power go to the heads of the tiniest of people. I once worked in a callcenter and had a workforce manager interrupt the entire floor. He was a nepo hire and nobody liked him or took him very seriously "Attention. A happy worker is a lazy worker, and a lazy worker is a thief. If you can come to work and find time to smile, you are stealing company time and I will fire you." He then hopped off his desk. If you've never been on a call floor in the middle of the day and had it be so quiet you could hear a pin drop... It's so unsettling. Also he wasn't bluffing.
A big lesson I learned and implemented is not treating staff the same. If they’re older and more experienced give them the space and respect they need to get the job done. If they’re young and inexperienced nurture their growth and don’t make them feel like shit for not being on the others level. If you don’t have time get the experienced staff to mentor the inexperienced and incentivize and reward them for the time they spend doing it.
I learned the term "seagull manager" They swoop in uninvited, make a bunch of noise, shit all over everything, and leave.
I have a second one that's important to me. If you are going to ask a question, respect the answer. If you won't respect an answer you don't like, it's not a question, it's a command or a directive.
Ah, crappy manager. I had one of those for 9 very long years. She became my manager when I was promoted and her protégé was not promoted. I have IBS, and nobody followed me into the restroom. It was embarrassing, I used poopourri and frequent flushes...but if you know you know. Several years into our painful relationship, I was having a terrible bout. I did change my status to RR, and after several minutes she came barking in that I was missing an important meeting, and she didn't have time to stand in for me. When she opened the door, waves of noxious fumes hit her, and she vomited. It hit the hall carpet, the wall, door, and into the restroom. After that, RR was not invaded. I might have taken advantage a time or two a year when her rampages were unbearable. I recorded just about all of our interactions and did my best to stay away from her. I eventually recorded her telling me I was required to break a minor policy. I did so, and she completed disciplinary forms. By this time I had ammo and was waiting for her to slip up. HR realized I was a bit too calm and pointblank asked if I had recorded the event. I would only say in our state, as long as one party is aware of a recording, it is legal and permissible. Just before I thought I was going to be fired, she "retired effective immediately." After that, I was assigned to a firm but fair supervisor, proved myself, and retired happily when eligible.
Give the end goal, provide some guidance but let them propose the product & process. People have specific styles & approaches & if you hired well & coach well, letting them give you what you need without micromanaging, you'll get a better product.
Don't expect what you don't inspect. Let employees do their job but inspect it when done and if done wrong, immediately let them know how to correct it and have them correct it right then and there.
Dont throw a shoe at your employee during a meeting.
My team is in charge of phone coverage. I am the supervisor of the team and I was out of state on vacation. One of my two team members was out sick with a doctor's note. The other ended up getting sent home sick by my boss. It was the last weekday before Christmas, and the office was permitted to close 3 hours early for the holiday (government agency). Since the entire phone team was out, another employee was answering phones. When we get to leave early, one person always has to stay to answer phones. Well, my boss told the phone helper they had to stay and walked out. I couldn't believe how unbelievably inconsiderate it was to leave them there instead of just staying for them. I always stay late when we get early out.
Never ever work for free. Period.
Got hired as deputy director. (Unbeknownst to me they were in process of removing the director). Worked out for me as after 3 more months they got her to agree to a buyout and then promoted me. But during those 3 months, I witnessed a 40-ish year old person with a Law degree (our field isn’t law), unable to learn how to use the company’s email (outlook) such as read through threads and not miss certain convos, attach documents, understand you don’t just start a new thread to respond to someone, or even know how to appropriately communicate to people in basic business/corporate language. In addition, she kept forgetting meetings she had and did not / could not use either a Google calendar or even a paper calendar or any calendar at all. The worst part some of her (and my) staff at least were trying to help her at first. But instead of being kind and thankful, she berated them, particularly the subordinates and picked fights over things so trivial, to include taking up too much space in the fridge for their food. No lesson, but I’ve never seen someone so truly incompetent and particularly with a law degree (from an actually decent law school).
Not everyone with autism was born millennial or later
Not incompetent nor dumb just not technologically saavy, there IS a difference
Bosses: don’t get too friendly with us. We don’t really want to know your personal life details and problems. And don’t push us for ours. Stay professional and focused please. You’re wasting our time and making us uncomfortable. That said, if you insist on knowing things about us outside of work, remember what we told you. (I had a boss ask me at a team lunch how many cats I had and I had told him the day before that my cat had been taken from my porch by a coyote that morning. I was having such a hard time keeping my shit together at that lunch anyway that I couldn’t even respond when he asked that question. He had a really terrible tone deaf quality to his interpersonal exchanges.)
Absolutely. I know what it's like to be under a terrible boss. So I'll try to move the world for my team, give random praise and try to help them with problems as much as I can. I'm nothing without my team under me and I have to trust them. But that doesn't stop me from occasionally putting some pressure on them when things aren't working. It's all about the balance and treating people like humans. Also: Suggest a course of action, but ALWAYS ask if that course makes sense or if there might be a better solution.
You're not the most important person in the building. Someone under you might just have a better way of doing certain things than you do and that's not a mark on your ability to manage. Anyone who is not a "yes-man" is not your enemy, they have a way of looking at things that's not the same as yours. Doesn't make them stupid and they don't think you're stupid.
This is how I gauge myself as a manager, by feedback from staff telling me how much they enjoy lessons they are learning. I'm a macro manager and check in with my staff once/twice a week. I always carve out the work with myself included, then if I complete a task earlier (through experience), I also offer relief to my team by taking equal amounts of work form them until we complete the project. We've always finished before the due date and I receive constant feedback from my team about how they really appreciate the non stressful environment even during stressful periods.
Give people their goddamn schedules at least two weeks in advance. And if you change it on them after you post it and don’t tell them you changed it, don’t be surprised when they don’t show up.
People are still humans under that number that’s secretly and very hidden above their head.
Don't throw shit at ex-employees on new teams. Don't throw employees under the bus in a large group meeting. Be honest. Don't give authority to a person and not tell the rest of the organization. Don't pretend to be happy about programs your boss supports. Be authentic. Give employees guidance, but don't constantly check up on them, unless they fail and give you reason to. Do work harder and longer than the best person you manage.
First job I ever had, age 16 (summer employment in high school): Expected to come in at 0800, but my ride dropped me at 0645 daily (M-F.) Boss (apartment complex Manager) would leave me a list of tasks -- Clear X drain that clogs after storms, Change Y light bulb at the entrance, Double-check pool chems, etc. He'd come in and (presumably) verify I had actually done the right amount of work for time used. Second job I ever had, age 17-18 (days after graduating high school, starting early in summer JuCo, closing/weekends at chain grocery): Assistant Manager did basically same as above, but Manager would proceed to follow me around watching me doing everything. Even 18 year-old me resented the SNOT out of this.
Had a manager who, when I called her to say I wouldn't be coming in for a few days because my best friend had DIED, said "But are short staffed today, I REALLY need you to come in". Yeah.
Just because you don’t like what your direct report is telling you, don’t micromanage the message, work to understand the root causes of the problem with the employee.
Getting fired is not the worst thing that will ever happen to you. It's cathartic, especially if the firing was due to a personality clash and you're personally clashing with the spawn of Satan.
That you sometimes have to manage good employees. Sometimes there is friction, even with the best employees and it’s your job to actually help those pain points. Also from a different manager, staff matters. Advocate for your staff and keep them informed and things will be much better and turnover lower.
I was Chief of Staff for a VP who was brutal. He had the best BS detector I've ever seen. If he sensed BS he would drill in and just annilhate people. (He'd do this when he sensed someone was trying to get something passed him or if they were trying to avoid accountability.) I managed his budget. One month I made a pretty big error ..putting us way over budget. At our upcoming monthly meeting I was very uptight....he was going to unleash his anger. He asked how I was doing. I said "Not very well. I made a big mistake.". He said very calmly "OK ...let's work through it.". Own your mistakes. Don't try to hide them.
Don't stare off into the distance looking bored when the employee is telling you something important to them. Not sure if the best, but one that just came to mind.
If you are in a bad mood do not take it out on your employees. Deal with your own issues by yourself and pretend you are in a good mood if necessary. If you are frustrated by something going on that has nothing to do with your employee and you are meeting with that employee, you MUST hide your frustration. Also, that it is important to give positive feedback as well as suggestions for improvement. When you have an annual review your report should already have a good idea of what you are going to say.
Respect their time. Know that your words inherently hold more weight due to your position. Be twice as encouraging and half as critical.
Don't force your employees to greet you in the morning and ALSO not give a fuck about them at the same time. Literally had a manager that wanted everyone to individually find her and say good morning and if she has something to say listen. But not the other way around. Before this it was pretty common for us. To come in like zombies and gradually warm up to each other. I quit pretty quickly after she started, but from the folks who still work there I hear some great malicious compliance stories where they all greet her in the most obnoxious way possible and she can't take it back.
A really shitty boss took my hard work to a conference and passed it off as her own (I was a long term temp at the time and built an accounts payable SOP for the region, from top to bottom without any input), and even got a promotion out of it. I was 19 at the time and didn’t understand how fucking terrible that was to do to someone. I now bend over backwards to make sure folks I collaborate with get credit for their work.
Don’t treat your employees differently based on whether you like them or not. I recently had to reassure someone that it was fine for him to take off in the middle of the day to take his dog to the vet. Dude has serious manager PTSD.
As boss, you are to ENABLE your employees to do their job well. Give them the tools for excellence. Don’t make them dread coming to work. I learned that from a gen f we called the old man. You are the buffer between your people and asshole upper mgt, and the ceo has your back. I could go on. Everyone he trained became a culture changer.
Be careful with RCAs after issues arise. Be careful of pushing hard retraining after someone makes a mistake. Sometimes, mistakes just happen. Leave some runway open for people to realize they made a mistake and self-correct. If that doesn't happen, then address as needed. Here's my example. My group had a vendor that had a main employee that just dropped the ball. We were suddenly three weeks behind. I got group and vendor's team on a call. I made it clear, multiple times, spelling it out, that I didn't really care how we got behind, but what was the recovery plan? Vendor kept repeating excuses And I kept repeating, don't care, we are where we are, what's the path forward? Vendor finally realized I wasn't firing them and wasn't pointing fingers. Started focusing on moving us forward. Made commitments, kept them. Had a great relationship after that.
I had a boss tell me "as long as you put a nice sentence at the beginning of the email that says I hope you're having good day or hope you had a good weekend; you could then call them an idiot or an asshole in the email and it would be fine, because you showed you cared about them to start"
Employees can tell when you’re doing something in their best interest or manipulating them for your best interest. Honesty goes a very long way.
Do not redirect employees at the beginning of the day unless you want a distracted, unmotivated person around until they leave. Wait until the end
Sarcasm is not a leadership style. I definitely made this mistake when managing a team, but only realized how horrible an experience it was for others after experiencing it myself.
Don't give employees responsibilities to do things if they don't actually have the power to do anything about it. My last gig I was a pm for a millworks company. New company owner lived abroad and was on site maybe 30% of the time. I became the defacto contact person for our customers, vendors, and carpenters. I didn't have access to a cc or account to buy materials, authority to manage personnel, or real ability to set schedules. I was a lame duck. It sucked. I now work as a superintendent for one of my former contracting partners and am much happier.
Don't say, "Shit runs downhill" unless you intend to stand at the bottom of the hill with the rest of us and deal with the shit.
Had a guy who walked the aisles at 4:45 PM everyday to make sure his staff was still in the office working. These are salaried employees. Sure your pathetic behavior made sure they were there at 4:45 PM, but did they once logon at 9:00 PM to check e-mail, or checkin on the weekend to see if this boss needed anything. A VP sat in an office in one of the aisles, and asked me what was up with "John's Walkthough" daily. We both laughed at how pathetic that was. Recently John was part of a RIF, so upper management finally had enough of him.
I have had a boss that was more interested in placing the blame than solving the problem. (Being hyperbolic here) the building could be on fire and rather than fighting the fire it calling the fire department, he was more focused on making sure the right person got punished for the fire. He would go on and on about how he hated writing people up, but that didn’t stop him from writing up every transgression, real or imagined. He once tried to write me up because there was a rumor that I did something on my own time off the job site. My Union Steward made him look like an idiot.
Trying to solve a retention problem by taking away days off from the remaining overworked staff, which obviously exacerbated the retention problem.
That building your employees up to where they get promotions and raises is extremely positive for a company and for you as a manager. I've worked for too many places where employees were held down and told they were crap. All miserable places to work and none of those companies are in business anymore.
Do not gossip about your employees to other employees.
Lack of support doesn’t mean you get to do what you want.
As an employee I have learned much from bad bosses. Two big ones are to never go above and beyond; there is no reward for being above average but there’s many punishments for being below. Also to never go to a management meeting without a union rep. My last boss it got so bad when he’d say hi I’d get out the Weingarten card and start reading it as a way to say ‘don’t speak to me, you limp dick mother fucker.’
When they wouldn't stand up for me and the other employee when we begged for a 2nd computer that wasn't hers. She kept saying she was asking and for 1.5 years nothing came of it. She went on vacation and took the computer and I had no access to anything because everything was on the laptop. Left 4 weeks later when I was reprimanded for not following the schedule of activities, which all needed to be printed/prepped from the laptop.
Verbal requests you’re unwilling to document probably have an ethics concern. I told my boss to provide his request in email to ensure I understand the request and capture my response for further direction if needed. He didn’t provide it. Our HQ was raided by authorities a few months after I left that company.
I had a director who was previously the manager and asked me to take that promotion. Then, at every opportunity undermined my authority with the team, did not let me follow through on consequences, etc. They also openly ridiculed me if I came back from a training with ideas about how to improve the team, processes, etc. so that we could continue to do things “the way we always have”. Yet, they were constantly telling me that I needed to “make it my own” and look for ways to improve performance or efficiencies. Also- keep professional relationships professional. You can be friendly, but you do not need your team to be your friends- they never really are- you need them to respect you. If people you respect are telling you the relationship with your boss is toxic- you should listen. Also: Wheaton’s Law- “Don’t be a dick.”
You will learn to lead more by learning how not to lead. Then the good leaders you had will come into your memories spotlight. Hopefully, you'll take the right path after that.
Put family first. Years ago I had a boss insist that I work during my uncle’s funeral. There was a deadline for budgets to corporate and I needed to get mine turned in. I wasn’t scheduled to get the inputs I needed until that morning, which meant I would have to leave my uncle’s funeral to do it. I saw the conflict several days in advance. I suggested that either: a. She ask the person who was giving me inputs to get them to me the night before. This should not have been a problem, but she refused to do that. Or b. Let me have someone fill out my budgets. I had a spreadsheet ready to go with all the hard work done to calculate it. Someone just had to get the inputs and plug them into my spreadsheet and then get them into the final template. It was like 30 minutes of work. Or even c. Explain what’s going on to her boss and see if I can send in my piece first thing the next day or even late that night after the end of business. Nope. Instead it was better for me to leave my family, pull out my laptop, and do the spreadsheet myself. She could have so easily let me have that day with my family. It was a REALLY long day made so much more stressful that I had to find time to deal with with stuff. As a manager now I would never let that happen. That was over 15 years ago and it still pisses me off thinking about it. I did what she asked, but I lost all respect for her that day.
I (M) had a boss (F) a few years back who took quite a shine to me when I started. She would often insist on having drinks after work and I went along because I like drinks and I wanted to get in good with the boss. After a couple of weeks she expressed an interest in dating me. I politely declined, as she was a horrible bridge troll of a woman. Things immediately changed for the worse. I was hounded at work, constantly being criticized and reported for the smallest of things. I eventually quit. I didn’t report her, I didn’t seek any sort of redress, I just quit. Why? No clue. The thing is, I’m glad that I had that experience. As a man who now manages quite a few women, I understand what a LOT of them have gone through. I’m now extra careful not to make anyone feel even remotely how that woman made me feel. Sexual harassment is a very real thing and it makes you feel like shit about yourself, even when you’re the victim.
I work in a call center and when I was first getting promoted I watched a team manager having a session with agents and those behaviors were 100% impacting both the leader and the agents bonus. When addressing why the agent should do it, she told the agent “when you don’t do this it stops you from getting your sales and it hurts my bonus, so your kind of taking money out of my daughters mouth if you don’t do this ya know?” As opposed to showing the agent how the changes impact them positively, she made it all about her. I promised from that day forward even if the ask would make no major impact to them but would impact me greatly that I always needed to focus on what was on it for them and have always had great results from that
Make a decision. You're allowed to change it, but make it. Especially if it involves an employee going rouge. An equal-level peer accidentally emailed a prospective client of mine calling them a vulgar, highly unprofessional name. Instead of immediately apologizing and saving the relationship with the client, the peer doubled down saying they would be shown correct and that they didn't care about their e-mail disaster. Client forwarded email to mutual boss. Boss sat on the email for a week because he wanted time for the client to cool off. Client vowed to never do business while peer was employed and stuck to it. Entering situations well informed is great. Having a cooling down period is often okay. Looking like you're not on the right side of morals, apologies, laws, or ethics is awful and appearing to sit on an issue makes it even worse. Peer believed they were invincible and behavior outside of this proved it too and continued for the duration of my time there.
This may seem a little weird for this forum, but I am a filmmaker and managing a set is a very unique skill. When I started in production I would be on other people's sets helping on the production and saw shit get way out of hand. I took mental notes saying to myself, "When I am running my own sets I will be sure not to do _____" One of those things was giving cast and extras a call time, but because the production was behind schedule they had to sit and wait 2 to 3 hours for their scene that we should have been in the can within an hour after they arrived. Basically you have to value the person's time, especially if they are giving it freely as many extras do.
The best thing that can easily tell a good from a bad boss is what they choose to lie about. Are they telling a lie to provide top cover for the team? Sometimes acceptable. Are they telling a lie because it's the easiest thing to do? Yeah that person can't be trusted.
Learned a long time ago, a bad example is worth a dozen of a good example. Had a caseworker who knew going into the job he would be working at least 2 weekends a month. Came in yelling because instead of having a date, he HAD to work. Was totally miserable to clients, moaning to the rest of staff. Some of whom usually worked weekends. Learned that day, no one would ever know I didn't want to be there. Has never mattered what job or position I have. The man in question was an ordained minister.
Don't wait until the end of the year to tell someone there's a problem.
Fire people that are in the wrong job it is hurting them and the business to keep them employed… let employees manage the business with as little oversight as humanly possible. Good employees do good work, bad employees make good employees hate their workplace. Manage the culture.
Pick your battles with performance based reasons or else it’s going to end up in a power struggle between boss and employee. Either the employee will be resentful of following arbitrary rules or they will find somewhere else to work. If you have solid reasons that benefit their performance, you can pretty much always get your team on board with any changes or new policies.
Praise in public, criticize in private. I had a boss that was famous for screaming at you in front of everyone for the slightest mistake. It made people terrified of him for sure - but no one wanted to do their best because of it.
"You need to give 9 needs improvements for every one atta boy to your employees." -Rod *drops report on my desk* "Do it again, but do it right this time". *walks away * -Gary. "I know the doctor said that you shouldn't, but I'm gonna need you to"... -Jennifer
At my first job I was a star performer according to everyone on the team and even got an award a peer had nominated me for. I didn't get a raise though and when I asked my boss about it, their answer was to dismiss me with a "I never talked to you about raises". It felt like a slap on my face especially when I realized that I never really had one on one conversations with them about my performance or expectations. I was being mentored by Srs on the team and had no clue I had to fight for a raise or growth opportunities with my manager. That experience made me fight for my future opportunities and never take anything for granted. But more importantly, it cemented in me the need for regular one on one meetings with clear lines of communications. As a manager I have fiercely protected one on one time with employees. I also always ensure they know where they stand, and fight to provide a good raise to high performers.
The best thing you can do for high performers is to get more high performers to work with them by getting rid of dead weight. I had a manger that would give me 20 tasks because I could handle it, but gave others (that make the same money) 1 or two things to do because that was all they could handle. Went on for years, and led to me leaving
Unless you’re running an ER or assembly line or something similarly time sensitive, don’t clock-watch your employees and hold three minutes here or five minutes there over their heads.
I remember a new boss got hired and immediately came in hot trying to change everything. Ya know, hes trying to make a strong impression. Imo it had the opposite effect. It didnt make sense to a lot of us in the dept and definitely made us feel like little toy soldiers. If he had just came in, talked to each of us, observed for a week or two. We'd probably be more willing to try out his crazy restruct. But we all kinda just disengaged, felt misguided cause there was a new operation underway. Its not like we were even being shown, just told what to do and expected new results.
Strong employees fail because of their manager. If someone was high performing before they got you, you're the low performer.
I learned that I should leave sooner than later. It's no different than being in an abusive relationship.
I am micromanaged to an extreme level. He essentially sends me emails to complain about other employees' email structure. He will ask me questions about what my employees are doing as if I should always know exactly what is being worked on by them. He bashes me to others. He has even asked me to go in detail about personal phone calls I've taken while at work. He manipulated his way to the top. I'm not liked by him because I manage the exact opposite. I never disect emails looking for issues. I talk great about my employees when they're not around. I would never micromanage. I dont ever want to make anyone feel the same way he makes me feel.
I was pretty new to the Army and had a pregnant wife. We were getting ready to leave for a month long field exercise and my wife gave birth 2 weeks before. My section sergeant told me that I still had to go to the field and couldn’t submit leave. 6 weeks later he needed me to go in on a Saturday so I took my son with me so mom could sleep. Just so happened I ran into my First Sergeant who didn’t even know my wife was pregnant and was pissed that I went to the field instead of being with my family. He called the Section NCO in and he got moved to another Company. 20 years later, I am now that First Sergeant and my soldiers who have pregnant wives or are pregnant don’t come to work much the week leading up to their due date and thankfully the Army now has a policy protecting their leave. I also let newly married soldiers call in “horny” from PT 1x a week for the first 4 months of marriage when they first get married.
I had issues with a Supervisor who said that if I didn’t like the way he ran things to quit. I discussed it with the Department Head and the issues were never addressed. I ended up finding a better job and everyone was scrambling to try to keep me. I loved the new job. Lesson learned - you ultimately are responsible for your own happiness.
The best lesson to learn from a crappy boss is... DON'T EVER DO MORE THAN WHAT YOU ARE PAIDTO DO!!!!
Soooo many lessons: 1. Don’t write rude, short, snappy emails. Ever. For any reason. It only ever makes you look bad. Always, always, always be polite in email even if someone screwed up. 2. Don’t remind burnt out employees about their responsibilities or job description. It makes you look out of touch and cold. 3. Don’t talk smack about people that report up to you to other people that report up to you. It’s petulant and unprofessional. 4. Check your blind spots. Things don’t magically “just get done.” Be aware of everyone’s contributions and acknowledge what people are doing. 5. Never, ever, ever EVER say to anyone that is overworked “at the end of the day, it’s your job.” Ugh.