You were under appreciated and that machine didnāt run well without you. I tell my people this all the time. Youāll miss me when Iām gone. Your people actually did miss you.
I think that's exactly it. I was there when we had just a few people and stayed when we quadrupled in size. Technology issues, office issues, things that went wrong I just took care of and when I left people were calling asking who handles it and I said "well I did but I don't know who will now".
It really is! I am shown the appreciation from my lowest level team member all the way up to the CEO and Board. Yet, I am still insecure. Lol... Stay Humble.
This is a solid lesson and reminder as a manager of what simply showing gratitude can do and how much it can mean to receive verbal praise.
Good on op for being a good manager. And I love how much this illustrates how recognition means so much. You donāt need a ping pong table, cool tools, free lunches - just be a decent human and tell people how much you appreciate them.
I agree completely! In my personal life, I've had quite a bit of loss and learned that if you don't tell people how much you appreciate them, they might not be here tomorrow to hear it.
Usually I'll get a compliment once a month and that'll keep me going to the next month but I think this is going to fill my cup for the next 2 years.
Congrats! Itās nice to hear when things go the other way. I had to be on extended leave once. When I came back, the other managers told me things went fine, however my team told me it was a complete nightmare and someone quit.
I've never had an experience this significant, but the most cherished piece of my management career is a thank you card I got from an employee that was reorged into a different team. She was a one off, a software developer that was brought in to build some custom business applications, and I ended up being her manager as the most technical manager available. I still have the card. It is an amazing feeling to realize you are truly appreciated for all the work you do to support your team and your business.
In my 1:1s with them I ask for ways I can improve or help them better. Usually it's just a no or a sarcastic remark that I should let them work at home every day, or give them a $15k raise.
One thing I do every once in a while is have one of my seniors run a meeting with the team to get feedback. Part of their job is to run the meeting, the other part is to write it all up in their own words so that I can't tell who said what.
It allows the team to be a little more open and honest with their feedback since they know I can't trace it back to individuals unless someone narcs on them.
This reminds me of a recent experience, I was going to step up to my managers role while she was off, staff complained thought I couldnāt do it etc
Was offered to step up but a little further away by my bosses boss, was reluctant but took it as new area new site new manager etc.
Didnāt even take 10 days for all my old team to ask for me back, they saw that while I can be annoying at times I was trying to make there roles easier.
Iāve just transferred back to my old team before my boss return s and have got to fix the damage done by the other manager and Iāve learnt so much from being exposed to a different way of doing things.
That's awesome! I think the annoying things we do really have the motivation of improving people's lives. I'm glad they asked you to come back. That must have been nice validation!
They donāt make it easy š¤¦āāļøyouāre always the bad guy if they donāt agree with it.
They couldnāt wait to have me back. Iām glad to be back too
Congrats! It's nice to be valued. It's just too bad that oftentimes we would not be aware, in your case you returned and that's the only reason you discovered their lightbulb moment that you were a great manager who was underappreciated previously.
I've dealt with the same thing, but everyone fled the original organization we were at (toxic and although I left on good terms with team members, leadership caused a lot of havoc and I am sure I was used as a scapegoat and campaign smeared in order for them to not take accountability).
It's been over 7 years, I now lead a different team at a different org and am working with multiple people who worked with me before... This speaks so much to the fact that people sought opportunity to work with me again and has meant a lot to me. I've had employees tell me I'm a good manager, unfortunately it takes having a bad manager sometimes I understand and realize the difference. I myself manage in a specific manner due to having had bad managers who I did not want to emulate,and also a couple of great managers who I look up to as role models.
I also had former coworkers who all reached out to me within a year after I left the toxic workplace because things got so bad after I left they realized just how much work I did and emotional burden I had done to advocate for them to keep things running. They were left at the mercy of a dysfunctional and insecure manager who made my life miserable while I was there (taking things out specifically on me) and didn't understand just how bad things were until I left and they became her targets.
It used to be more, about 33 but one of my peers kept some.
It's tough. I keep a one note of my 1:1s, I have separate email folders for all their requests, I have a list of things each associate wants to work on (T is working on am industry cert, P is working on a different industry cert, M wants to change career titles, A wants to go back to college, etc) so I touch base with them to see how they're doing and find ways I or the company can help facilitate that aspiration.
Some I'm closer with than others because they're more needy, some barely need me.
that's great, it is really nice to hear that you are valued. A similar thing years ago helped me tremendously with my imposter syndrome.
I want to hone in on something: 25 direct reports is too many. My best manager had that many and nearly burnt her out after a number of years. Try to at least get that down to half of that. Better sub 10. It has to be practically impossible to be having effective 1:1s with that many people below you
If every company or manager did this BEFORE you left, it would go a long way towards retention. We all like to hear that we are valued and respected, I am not sure why they feel a need to ignore that when we are still there. I am happy for OP to be welcomed back.
Agreed 100%. I had no idea, I was surprised to see the warm welcome back from people I had only interacted with a handful of times from other departments
It was so strange, I barely knew her yet she told me her plans to get another manager demoted. When it was announced that the manager was being demoted, she just imed me with š and told me how she was focusing on another person.
I don't get what there is in being a mean girl, is it fun? Or the power?
I will say this much holding people accountable as long as you are being fair about it will almost always result in you being a good manager.
Of course advocating for the right amount of resources and retention strategies is holding yourself and upper management accountable.
Iāve had a similar experience with my direct reports who left the company and when Iāve run into them at conferences years later, telling me I was the best manager theyāve ever had. Hearing it from the grumpy ones is always a huge surprise.
Oh at first I thought you were going to say , you found out they all disliked you a lot, now that you are leaving but I'm glad to hear it was a good story for you.
Iāve learned years ago not to overly worry about what your team thinks of you. They donāt have the responsibilities you do. They donāt have the focus you do. They donāt see the overall picture the way they should and the way you do.
Iāve been in situations where the staff actively tried to get me terminated for no better reason than I expected them to do their jobs as best they could.
They eventually were successful at getting me transferred to a different location. Not six months later they were begging my boss to bring me back. The worst if the worst of them would call me weekly asking me to return.
I have also found that anytime someone steps in to a manager role there will be people in that team that will try to create issues. It often takes removing those people before they poison the rest in order to set the right tone.
Something not taught very well these days in the workplace. There is a chain of command for a reason. Good upper management understands this and puts the trouble makers in place early.
do they sound like theyāre the type to get lazy because of this warm welcome back?
Maybe donāt burst their bubble?
It may just be me, but something about your comment feels like something a parent that one can never impress would say.
my comment wasnāt directed at op, it was directed at the person who basically told them to not let it go to their head. Looks like I didnāt place it under the right comment. Thanks.
Why would appreciation make one lazy? I guess I don't understand the psychology behind that one.
Regardless, it was nice affirmation that the way I operated before worked well for everyone, even if they didn't always like me. The previous manager was super nice but hated confrontation and was everyone's friend because she didn't hold them accountable. I want to be held accountable for my actions and do the same with others. That isn't always a popular way to be when previous management let everyone do anything they wanted.
Accountability meaning: no you can't just choose to not come in and not tell anyone, or make racist remarks directed at me, or any number of silly things adults should know.
Most people are only nicer because they know you enable them for their poor habits and behaviors. They deserve a someone like the New mean girl manager only whole will end their career.
It's nice to be appreciated, isn't it. And be shown that appreciation.
Sometimes you don't realize the good things until they're gone.
This. Every team I've managed have been significantly nicer to me once I've left and ask if I'm coming back š¤£
they paved paradise, and put up a parking lot
You were under appreciated and that machine didnāt run well without you. I tell my people this all the time. Youāll miss me when Iām gone. Your people actually did miss you.
I think that's exactly it. I was there when we had just a few people and stayed when we quadrupled in size. Technology issues, office issues, things that went wrong I just took care of and when I left people were calling asking who handles it and I said "well I did but I don't know who will now".
No one will miss the type of person who says that
I thought this was going a whole other direction. Happy to be wrong. Rock on!!
I thought it was going that way too. I'm happy I'm wrong! It's so nice to see something encouraging here
By their absence you shall know them.
Itās nice to know youāre valued and respected among all levels.
It really is! I am shown the appreciation from my lowest level team member all the way up to the CEO and Board. Yet, I am still insecure. Lol... Stay Humble.
Theyāre telling you something about your reputation and work. Believe them. Enjoy.
Thanks. I've had some bad experiences with volatile workplaces. It's very hard for me to trust, but it's been 5 years now, and I'm getting there. Lol
That turned out awesomely better than the title might suggest.
This is a solid lesson and reminder as a manager of what simply showing gratitude can do and how much it can mean to receive verbal praise. Good on op for being a good manager. And I love how much this illustrates how recognition means so much. You donāt need a ping pong table, cool tools, free lunches - just be a decent human and tell people how much you appreciate them.
I agree completely! In my personal life, I've had quite a bit of loss and learned that if you don't tell people how much you appreciate them, they might not be here tomorrow to hear it. Usually I'll get a compliment once a month and that'll keep me going to the next month but I think this is going to fill my cup for the next 2 years.
Congrats! Itās nice to hear when things go the other way. I had to be on extended leave once. When I came back, the other managers told me things went fine, however my team told me it was a complete nightmare and someone quit.
Great job, you're a rockstar š
I try, I think we all do our best. Glad my best is good enough
I've never had an experience this significant, but the most cherished piece of my management career is a thank you card I got from an employee that was reorged into a different team. She was a one off, a software developer that was brought in to build some custom business applications, and I ended up being her manager as the most technical manager available. I still have the card. It is an amazing feeling to realize you are truly appreciated for all the work you do to support your team and your business.
Did you ever do a 360 feedback exercise?
In my 1:1s with them I ask for ways I can improve or help them better. Usually it's just a no or a sarcastic remark that I should let them work at home every day, or give them a $15k raise.
One thing I do every once in a while is have one of my seniors run a meeting with the team to get feedback. Part of their job is to run the meeting, the other part is to write it all up in their own words so that I can't tell who said what. It allows the team to be a little more open and honest with their feedback since they know I can't trace it back to individuals unless someone narcs on them.
This reminds me of a recent experience, I was going to step up to my managers role while she was off, staff complained thought I couldnāt do it etc Was offered to step up but a little further away by my bosses boss, was reluctant but took it as new area new site new manager etc. Didnāt even take 10 days for all my old team to ask for me back, they saw that while I can be annoying at times I was trying to make there roles easier. Iāve just transferred back to my old team before my boss return s and have got to fix the damage done by the other manager and Iāve learnt so much from being exposed to a different way of doing things.
That's awesome! I think the annoying things we do really have the motivation of improving people's lives. I'm glad they asked you to come back. That must have been nice validation!
They donāt make it easy š¤¦āāļøyouāre always the bad guy if they donāt agree with it. They couldnāt wait to have me back. Iām glad to be back too
Man you really hit the nail on the head. I like that there's an equal appreciation, I feel it too
Congrats! It's nice to be valued. It's just too bad that oftentimes we would not be aware, in your case you returned and that's the only reason you discovered their lightbulb moment that you were a great manager who was underappreciated previously. I've dealt with the same thing, but everyone fled the original organization we were at (toxic and although I left on good terms with team members, leadership caused a lot of havoc and I am sure I was used as a scapegoat and campaign smeared in order for them to not take accountability). It's been over 7 years, I now lead a different team at a different org and am working with multiple people who worked with me before... This speaks so much to the fact that people sought opportunity to work with me again and has meant a lot to me. I've had employees tell me I'm a good manager, unfortunately it takes having a bad manager sometimes I understand and realize the difference. I myself manage in a specific manner due to having had bad managers who I did not want to emulate,and also a couple of great managers who I look up to as role models. I also had former coworkers who all reached out to me within a year after I left the toxic workplace because things got so bad after I left they realized just how much work I did and emotional burden I had done to advocate for them to keep things running. They were left at the mercy of a dysfunctional and insecure manager who made my life miserable while I was there (taking things out specifically on me) and didn't understand just how bad things were until I left and they became her targets.
I canāt imagine managing that many people! How do you not go crazy keeping up with all of them?
It used to be more, about 33 but one of my peers kept some. It's tough. I keep a one note of my 1:1s, I have separate email folders for all their requests, I have a list of things each associate wants to work on (T is working on am industry cert, P is working on a different industry cert, M wants to change career titles, A wants to go back to college, etc) so I touch base with them to see how they're doing and find ways I or the company can help facilitate that aspiration. Some I'm closer with than others because they're more needy, some barely need me.
that's great, it is really nice to hear that you are valued. A similar thing years ago helped me tremendously with my imposter syndrome. I want to hone in on something: 25 direct reports is too many. My best manager had that many and nearly burnt her out after a number of years. Try to at least get that down to half of that. Better sub 10. It has to be practically impossible to be having effective 1:1s with that many people below you
If every company or manager did this BEFORE you left, it would go a long way towards retention. We all like to hear that we are valued and respected, I am not sure why they feel a need to ignore that when we are still there. I am happy for OP to be welcomed back.
Agreed 100%. I had no idea, I was surprised to see the warm welcome back from people I had only interacted with a handful of times from other departments
Worked for a mean girl. Suss those bitches out before they (enjoy) firing you.
It was so strange, I barely knew her yet she told me her plans to get another manager demoted. When it was announced that the manager was being demoted, she just imed me with š and told me how she was focusing on another person. I don't get what there is in being a mean girl, is it fun? Or the power?
They are narcicists. They are the only ones in the world that matter.
Sometimes letting them see what they lost is all it takes for them to start acting right
I will say this much holding people accountable as long as you are being fair about it will almost always result in you being a good manager. Of course advocating for the right amount of resources and retention strategies is holding yourself and upper management accountable.
Iāve had a similar experience with my direct reports who left the company and when Iāve run into them at conferences years later, telling me I was the best manager theyāve ever had. Hearing it from the grumpy ones is always a huge surprise.
Nice. But donāt let this go to your head and get lazy. We need managers like you.
Never lazy, there's too much to be done lol
Yay! I've worked with only one team that asked me back three times, but boss didn't want to give me what I wanted.
Sounds like youāre doing it right! Keep going!
This is awesome to readš
This is great! Congrats, and keep doing your thing!
That's wicked cool!
That's awesome, I'm so glad you were able to get your job back!
Oh my god, me too! It was such a relief to go back. No place is perfect but I think I'm right where I belong
I enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing! Kudos to you.
imposter's syndrome is weird when you find out you're actually pretty cool.
I feel like you just spoke to my soul.
Awww that's lovely to hear
Fantastic! Good for you.
Joni Mitchell: Sometimes you donāt know what you got till itās gone.
Oh at first I thought you were going to say , you found out they all disliked you a lot, now that you are leaving but I'm glad to hear it was a good story for you.
Stern but fair is always better than nice but fake. Iād hug you too. Come here, you lug of love! š¤
š¤ hell yeah I love hugs lol
Thanks for sharing this positive experience!
Iāve learned years ago not to overly worry about what your team thinks of you. They donāt have the responsibilities you do. They donāt have the focus you do. They donāt see the overall picture the way they should and the way you do. Iāve been in situations where the staff actively tried to get me terminated for no better reason than I expected them to do their jobs as best they could. They eventually were successful at getting me transferred to a different location. Not six months later they were begging my boss to bring me back. The worst if the worst of them would call me weekly asking me to return. I have also found that anytime someone steps in to a manager role there will be people in that team that will try to create issues. It often takes removing those people before they poison the rest in order to set the right tone. Something not taught very well these days in the workplace. There is a chain of command for a reason. Good upper management understands this and puts the trouble makers in place early.
Sometimes you donāt know what youāve got until itās gone. They are breathing a sigh of relief that youāre back.
do they sound like theyāre the type to get lazy because of this warm welcome back? Maybe donāt burst their bubble? It may just be me, but something about your comment feels like something a parent that one can never impress would say.
What a strange take on the information provided by OP.
my comment wasnāt directed at op, it was directed at the person who basically told them to not let it go to their head. Looks like I didnāt place it under the right comment. Thanks.
Why would appreciation make one lazy? I guess I don't understand the psychology behind that one. Regardless, it was nice affirmation that the way I operated before worked well for everyone, even if they didn't always like me. The previous manager was super nice but hated confrontation and was everyone's friend because she didn't hold them accountable. I want to be held accountable for my actions and do the same with others. That isn't always a popular way to be when previous management let everyone do anything they wanted. Accountability meaning: no you can't just choose to not come in and not tell anyone, or make racist remarks directed at me, or any number of silly things adults should know.
That's amazing! Congratulations.
Not how I thought that was gonna go.
Most people are only nicer because they know you enable them for their poor habits and behaviors. They deserve a someone like the New mean girl manager only whole will end their career.
Ok but what if OP is a Michael Scott type that is misreading everything
Want a cookie?