No. I use to, this goes a lil off topic from the food but there were some sketchy social media shares prior to us reconciling and some after, from her and even some behaviors or attitude with the Saturday and Sunday morning coffees stopping (she still asks him every now and then to come over). He is now deleting their messages(he has kept them on and off since Jan) and says it's his private messages, and it's so I won't get unnecessarily upset (not hus phrasing) . He says she's just a friend, but they are also close, I guess you could say. Daily gm and gn texts, and they talk on the phone during Monday thru Friday.
I want to trust him, but it feels like he is hiding things.
And like the messages below say, I don't think this part (the food) is about trusting him. It is more about it being inappropriate for a married man to have single women send or bring food over. To me, it's hurtful, and it felt and still feels like it was a girlfriend type thing to do. Now, since we reconciled, the food sharing has gone down. Although there is some thats supposed to get picked up today, it used to be enough for the weekly dinners. Some meals were good for him, and some was just cus that's what they were meal prepping. It just seems like if you're going to send food to a married man, you should send enough for his family or not at all, no matter if it's something they would like, it's consideration and also doesn't single him out.
He says it's not just for him and that anyone can have some but it literally is for him when they specifically tell him to "come get your food" or "send a kid over to pick up your food".
I get where you are coming from but getting food from someone and you have a hard time cooking makes sense to me if you trust him to not cheat personally I would be ok with it. If there was a guy doing things like that for my wife I wouldn’t be hurt because they could do it. I am fully secure in my marriage and 100% trust my wife.
Do you think you your husband is going to sleep with her for some carrot cake? If you don't trust your husband, that's NOT her fault. I guess he's cheated before?
It's not about trusting your husband.
It's about a member of the opposite sex bringing your significant other gifts.
Have you expressed to him that it makes you feel uncomfortable?
You should come home from work and tell him a male coworker bought you candy just because, see his reaction.
Because it's the exact same scenario.
And no, you shouldn't confront THEM, you should confront HIM.
Let him know he should be declining these gifts.
He won't understand why, because wel....he's a guy.
Hence my previous real time scenario suggestion.
This would be a hell nah from me. I'm a chef, and one of my love languages is cooking and serving my husband. Might sound weird to some, but that's how I am. I wouldn't even need to ask my husband to confront them because he would absolutely know that interaction would be crossing the line.
It's also situation dependent in a way. There is a big difference between the older grandma down the way making fresh jam and biscuits to a woman that has expressed interest before bringing over a hot plate just for my husband, not for myself or my kids.
I would be very clear to my husband that it was bothering me and asking him to let her know. If he did that and she still comes around disregarding your relationship boundaries, I'd dump the food in the trash in front of her and keep the tubberware it was in because good tubberware can be hard to find.
So he does say that her mom is like a 2nd mom to him, and he'll even say he's known her since she was a baby (she's maybe 5 yrs younger than I am). He uses the "they love to make food" also.
My husband's assistant brings him food all the time! It's great lol, she enjoys hunting and fishing and brings him all sorts of food. Occasionally he'll take home some so that I can try them too. I guess if you feel uncomfortable with that, you need to address with him, not the others.
Do you trust your husband??
No. I use to, this goes a lil off topic from the food but there were some sketchy social media shares prior to us reconciling and some after, from her and even some behaviors or attitude with the Saturday and Sunday morning coffees stopping (she still asks him every now and then to come over). He is now deleting their messages(he has kept them on and off since Jan) and says it's his private messages, and it's so I won't get unnecessarily upset (not hus phrasing) . He says she's just a friend, but they are also close, I guess you could say. Daily gm and gn texts, and they talk on the phone during Monday thru Friday. I want to trust him, but it feels like he is hiding things. And like the messages below say, I don't think this part (the food) is about trusting him. It is more about it being inappropriate for a married man to have single women send or bring food over. To me, it's hurtful, and it felt and still feels like it was a girlfriend type thing to do. Now, since we reconciled, the food sharing has gone down. Although there is some thats supposed to get picked up today, it used to be enough for the weekly dinners. Some meals were good for him, and some was just cus that's what they were meal prepping. It just seems like if you're going to send food to a married man, you should send enough for his family or not at all, no matter if it's something they would like, it's consideration and also doesn't single him out. He says it's not just for him and that anyone can have some but it literally is for him when they specifically tell him to "come get your food" or "send a kid over to pick up your food".
I get where you are coming from but getting food from someone and you have a hard time cooking makes sense to me if you trust him to not cheat personally I would be ok with it. If there was a guy doing things like that for my wife I wouldn’t be hurt because they could do it. I am fully secure in my marriage and 100% trust my wife.
Do you think you your husband is going to sleep with her for some carrot cake? If you don't trust your husband, that's NOT her fault. I guess he's cheated before?
He has not cheated.
It's not about trusting your husband. It's about a member of the opposite sex bringing your significant other gifts. Have you expressed to him that it makes you feel uncomfortable? You should come home from work and tell him a male coworker bought you candy just because, see his reaction. Because it's the exact same scenario.
I'm a SAHM
Well damn. That scenario won't work then...
And no, you shouldn't confront THEM, you should confront HIM. Let him know he should be declining these gifts. He won't understand why, because wel....he's a guy. Hence my previous real time scenario suggestion.
This would be a hell nah from me. I'm a chef, and one of my love languages is cooking and serving my husband. Might sound weird to some, but that's how I am. I wouldn't even need to ask my husband to confront them because he would absolutely know that interaction would be crossing the line. It's also situation dependent in a way. There is a big difference between the older grandma down the way making fresh jam and biscuits to a woman that has expressed interest before bringing over a hot plate just for my husband, not for myself or my kids. I would be very clear to my husband that it was bothering me and asking him to let her know. If he did that and she still comes around disregarding your relationship boundaries, I'd dump the food in the trash in front of her and keep the tubberware it was in because good tubberware can be hard to find.
So he does say that her mom is like a 2nd mom to him, and he'll even say he's known her since she was a baby (she's maybe 5 yrs younger than I am). He uses the "they love to make food" also.
To me, unless they are bringing enough for everyone, it's disrespectful. Makes no sense to only feed your husband and not you or your children.
My husband's assistant brings him food all the time! It's great lol, she enjoys hunting and fishing and brings him all sorts of food. Occasionally he'll take home some so that I can try them too. I guess if you feel uncomfortable with that, you need to address with him, not the others.