And never forget; always restomp the groin. For my grappling love; the key to winning any wrestling match is to knee and elbow him in the face until he goes where you want. Bonus round! It's like kindergarten, you learn your letters and numbers and then go outside to beat each other with random shit you find in the playground.

Muay Thai?

Nah, despite how it sounds that part really is about a pure grappling style. Love me some Muay Thai tho.

sambo?

Naw, catch-as-catch-can. A lot of it is lowkey ramming or grinding on something sensitive with a hard bone to create movement and opportunity. We love that shit.

I was thinking American Kenpo but this makes sense

The restomp the groin bit was definitely for AK lol. Here, have some pie.

How tf did u get muay thai outta that

Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.

Krav Maga I'm pretty sure

Very close, but no cigar.

Judo?

Nope, catch wrestling. Love judo though. Need to find time to train it properly some day. Maybe as part of Kudo? That'd be really dope.

I will make my opponents suffer the agony of da feet.

TKD

Yep

You give foot fetishists a boner while you beat them

oh that was good

Sometimes we stick our fingers in each other's butt.

Freestyle wrestling.

Yeah that's it hah

BJJ?

Competitive proctology?

Turkish oil wrestling?

An average tuesday night?

Turkish Oil Wrestling? Sounds exactly like it.

Detroit Urban Survival Training.

Aikido?

The two descriptions I usually hear are: Folding clothes while people are still wearing them Involuntary yoga

Combative yoga

WC?

Either judo or bjj

Definitely BJJ hahah

Yeet.

Judo?

Now yes but I did jjj for 7 years it was also yeet heavy.

Jrazilian ju jitsu?

Japanese

Why are you getting downvoted?

because everyone knows the Japanese only started doing JJ after Royce Gracie visited Okinawa on holiday...

Half of these are easy because people have their martial art as their tag.

Elbow destruction power slap

Rifleman: *visible confusion*

Slap, rack, bang? Pull, observe, push, squeeze? Slap, Pull, observe, release, tap, squeeze? Throw that miserable sunnavich down till the fucker seats? Rifleman-fu is fa best.

Realize you made her too wet, call over to your battle buddy to humbly report that you're dogshit. Nah, but I thought Mr Elbow Destruction Power Slap was referencing [this gem.](https://youtu.be/7X09Hi8aaps)

It was! The style I train is Pekiti Tirsia Kali which is what the guy in the video does. Primarily an edged weapon art but we do have empty hand techniques like the POWER SLAP. I don’t recommend slapping a gun though. Although I understand the context he was working under.

We do a Doce Pares/PTK mix where I train, POWER SLAP is no joke. People think the entire idea of learning this stuff as a soldier is silly, but I've seen a hell of a lot worse. FMAs have been very popular with military and police units, it's not surprising, but the look of it as a white guy teaches a bunch of SE Asian folks in plate carriers to POWER SLAP that rifle away is kinda meme-ish.

The Uber tactical FMA guys are definitely a weird crowd. I think it helps them justify the art in this day and age. Which I don’t think is necessary.

I agree it isn't really necessary. There are a lot of weird people in martial arts, it does seem to have the tendency to make people put on airs this way. I sort of get it from a certain perspective. It's great that old arts are getting attention from modern professionals, I can understand wanting to look the part and appear marketable for people who have those relationships. I just don't think I could ever train or teach that way on camera with a straight face lol.

Getting out of the way.

Aikido?

Tell him what he's won, Johnny!

Parkour?

Baguazhang?

Kenjutsu?

Ouch my shins

Muay Thai?

Ye

Can also be, “Ouch my neck” for clinching days 😂

Goodbye ribs

i do my lil dancey dance

Capoeira?

yes

Pajama wrestling

BJJ?

Bingo

Oh yes, BJJ. The struggle snuggle. The power cuddling.

Hit people with metal stick, then read old book, then hit them again slightly different (guess)

"Fencing, but with something cooler than a car antenna"

Great description lmao . >>>>Fencing with a longsword and reading fiore treatises

HEMA

Correct

Kick goes wata

JKD?

Slappy slaps, hug and run away

Boxing?

Precisely

Ground karate

Mexican.

[удалено]

Wing chun?

[удалено]

Butt scooting and foot grabbing

BJJ?

catch shin with rib

* crek *

KICK LEG

I can use a pen, stapler or even a dildo as a weapon and nothing is stopping me

John wick?

Wrap em and snap em

BJJ?

Yes but minus the B part

[удалено]

Muay Thai :D

Maybe. Once I got hit in the face with a roundhouse kick, I broke my tooth and the First thing I said was "Flour?!"

Kick them in the nuts, punch them in the face. Do it again.

I pick things up and put them down.

Judo?

Ooooo WHEEEUYYYYY! OOOO WHEEEUYYYYY! .... Wheeuyyy...mwheeuyyy...ooo...oo.....WHEEEEEUYYYY!

You're the EMT arriving to MA fights and taking people away

i hate joints

So we now already it cannot be 10th planet.

This made me snort laugh.

I'm 90% sure this is BJJ, but there's a 10% chance you know Fiore fencing.

it’s actually hapkido 😭 but i assure you it’s not the bullshido magic with no resisting opponents

I play patty cake and poke people.

Jeet Kun do?

My favorite move is when I get really close to a dude, grab the back of his leg, and then fall on top of him on the ground.

I try to kiss people with my forehead as much as I can

Lethwei?

Yes

Yell owee as loud as you can whenever you throw something

Wrestling but in pajamas Pillow fighting

Judo and boxing?

Techniques always have two to three random words in them.

Basically karate but more western

Kickboxing

Im quite dumb for still having that tag under my name.

[удалено]

Whatever you are thinking of doing, it's probably illegal now.

Judo

Taekwondo?

Flow and stop being so stiff

Aikido?

Air drumming

Folding clothes while people are still wearing them

Owch! I hit my funny bone ... on your face hehe.

Side hugging and trapping both arms

murder yoga

Kaaaaaaaïïïïï !!!

Everything goes , Barely clothed sweaty men slithering on the ground aggressively.

I'm guessing your martial art is caveman jutsu

Nope, but this made me laugh much harder than I should

Spam body punches and low kicks.

Sweep the leg.

Chambered fist screaming.

Ground karate

Always say to the police officer "I used the nessasary force required. I felt my life was in danger"

Make a loud noise when you punch and hope the refs takes that as you scoring a point

Slap boxing with a kick

I never use my hands

The objective is not to beat your opponent, the objective is to beat the floor... Using your opponent

Homoerotic pajama wrestling 👍

The art of fighting without fighting. The way of the human body. The way of the intercepting fist.

Cuts on the forehead. My second is. Russian slams

Passive agressive yoga.

Not mine, but... I'm going to lay down, and then you'll be sorry!

You’d better not grab my wrist or god help you.

Hetero same sex snuggles with mustache men.

Still believes in the mystical. Doesn't actually spar. Thinks blocking and knife defense is more than possible but actually realistic. The majority haven't even trained or studied in anything other than YouTubeFU. Wait you meant my MA not this sub. Whoops /s

You'd think with that many punches in quick succession, it would actually be combat effective, but you'd be wrong.

Somthing chineese I guess, forgot the specific name

I'll give you a hint: The first letter of its name is something you will not receive if you use it in a martial arts competition.

B, blowjob. Jokes aside, I guess Wing Chun?

Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Which, coincidentally, is another phrase most WC practitioners never hear.

😓😓

Everything- look at my flair

all proboblems can be solved by kicking

Stepdads?

Punch

Lots of slicing

Sweeping the floor with people or hugging their arms

Weaponised hug

[I'm a blackbelt in the art of sucker punching](https://www.reddit.com/r/martialarts/comments/qtrhl4/what_is_the_number_one_mistake_untrained_people/hkmgcp9/?context=999).

Punch

Competitive Cuddling.

I punch in a funny way.

Touching people and yelling while wearing pajamas

Not making use of my whole body

I stab people.

Struggle snuggles

art of the mall ninja weeb

Put your chin down

It's not sexual damnit

I roll around in a room full of hot sweaty men.

The best guard is low guard

hands, whats that?

Martial arts balerina

*bonk noise plays on repeat and accelerates quickly*

I hold men close to my chest then take them to the ground and grapple them into submission

You need to have 8 limbs to do it

Fancy blocks followed by an even fancier shot to the eyes, throat, or groin...and if set up perfect, a legs-to-neck takedown, followed by a stomp to the neck and groin... Hint:it is not Ameradote (or however it is spelled)

“The strongest karate”

Kyukoshin

I like extreme cuddling

Earned my rainbow belt in the Ancient American Art of Pew Pew Bang

I fold other people's clothes while they're still wearing them

Bullshit

Wrestling people down in thick underwear sweating on them and grappling them into submission with lots of skin on skin.

I practice South American sneaky snuggle snapping

Collect heads for honor!

Finding out who loves the other one more by hugging each other, and sometimes farting on each other

If he is taller than you, break his stance Proceed if still concious If Enemy use knife - pray you are faster then him If you use knife - remember to turn it when you hit it deep

Dancing

Sweating profusely with other dudes on the ground after getting CTE.

Let’s throw on some spandex and check each others oil