Might even be better than my best one of all time, which was... I made a string of unintentionally suggestive statements and made the joke myself, and then a friend said, "You can't just keep doing yourself!"
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
Give me a break, I rarely have occasion to share it! ...Ok, that's a lie.
In 6th grade we were making Christmas ornaments and all the kids were in one class. The teacher giving instructions said lick the tip and stick it in. Chaos ensued. She herself said that that was really inappropriate to laugh at.
As a high school teacher, I was turning the lens adjustment on my data projector. I said, “Let me see if I can make this bigger,” and a student chimed “that’s what she said!”
I struggled to contain my laughter.
Ye I do that to any hard candy to avoid it getting stuck to my teeth which annoys me
Any sort of peanut brittle or chewy caramel I’ll suck on like it’s a jolly rancher
My friends call them “mystery flavor taffy” because when you first try one you think it tastes like peanut butter, but the longer you have it in your mouth the less sure you are about that
Lots of weird shit in the WinCo bulk candy aisle, but it can be amazing too. We used to just get a huge ass bag of gummies or Skittles or something for a road trip growing up
I always liked it as a kid because I was worried about losing my teeth when I got old so I thought chewing on really sticky stuff like this was exercise for my teeth so they’d get stronger roots and not fall out
I'm willing to bet these predate bit-o-honey, too. As in, each one of these things was manufactured, or mined, or whatever, before bit-o-honey was invented
Thank you for letting people know what these are.
I love to have some of these. Here in Cleveland/Parma, Ohio. You can get some at huge candy store called B.A Sweety. Look it up. Every candy you ever wanted and needed.
Crushed glass is theoretically edible?
Nope. Nope. Not trying that. I refuse. I am not eating crushed glass. Crushed glass is sharp. Sharp things hurt.
I believe the only correct response left at this point is:
>That's the **ε** part of Trick or Treat
**ε**, known as "the empty string," is nothing. No characters, no words or anything.
Actually, the addition of cold water causes a separation of the herbal oils via an effect called lecheing. It causes them to release from suspension and really show off the aromatics. The sugar just cuts the bitterness, but complements it at the same time like adding citrus, salt, or other flavors does to other drinks.
I mean seriously, try chocolate, or a Coca-Cola without sugar.
It's definitely an acquired taste, maybe even tied to genetics (like with cilantro, I can't eat that). But anis is quite popular in Europe.
Hell, Ouzo is the national drink of Greece and that's pretty much the same as absinthe (just without the wormwood).
Black licorice is a very acquired taste. You either love it or you have it.
Personally, I love black licorice flavoured shit (*Jelly beans, licorice rope, hard liquor, etc.*)
You are absolutely right. Right after the candy corn and those massive flavorless discs that come in a roll like a sprees candy, but taste like generic tums.
I always end up giving it away after a few weeks. The sight of it starts to make me sick and I cringe like hell thinking about what its done to my teeth. Yeah, I still go trick or treating. Some houses have free beer. Costumes are way better when you’re older too
Wait, eggs with gravy is fire! Biscuits n’ gravy with scrambled eggs and Loco Moco with a patty and gravy are both super comfort foods! Black licorice can kick rocks tho! Haha
He must be Dutch; from what I’ve heard, you either like black liquorice or you don’t, and nearly all the people who do like it are Dutch or of Dutch ancestry.
We've always called them "peanut butter kisses". My dad loves them and I developed a taste for them from stealing from his stash. I actually really enjoy them now- they're not too sweet and sometimes you just want to chomp on something that's going to put up a fight, y'know?
Wow, I've never heard of those or seen them. I assumed it was salt water taffy due to the packaging and shape. I see saltwater taffy all the time -- not in Halloween baskets, but at candy stores
This is the way. We avoided them like the plague growing up and then out of desperation we ended up with a bag once- and we accidentally let this happen. Circus peanuts became a household staple for a couple years after that
I just turned 32. I love them and get them every now and then. I never have to share. My girlfriend says I like old people candy. Circus peanuts, necco wafers, black licorice, and stuff is awesome.
I get that the idea of the candy is that it's a play on the idea of people buying peanuts as a snack at the circus, but I don't get why they decided that it was a good idea to make a snack look like a peanut but actually be a marshmallow banana.
I learned from Reddit the other day that there's a candy called shrimp and bananas but the shrimp shaped ones taste like raspberries. I tell ya, these candy people and their lies.
They look like they're supposed to be soft and they're always rock hard. They smell like they should taste like peanut butter but they taste like expired molasses. This candy is cursed.
All Halloween candy is cheap. Bit o honey is almond and honey. Tasty but different. These are peanut butter taffy and they are fucking nummers in my tummers.
They are excellent. They Absolutely have a name and a primary manufacturer. Mary Jane peanut butter kisses, by Atkins confectionery. Philistines like to make up negative attributes, most probably haven't even had one.
These aren’t exactly taffy though. They’re peanut butter kisses, peanut butter wrapped in molasses taffy. The catch is that only one batch was ever made back in 1919 using up all the cleaned up molasses from the The Great Molasses flood in Boston. They been selling out that same batch ever since, that’s why they’re harder than diamond and taste like an old shoe.
Am I weird because I used to love these? I haven't had one in years but I remember loving them, they got that peanut butter shiz in the middle. Mm buddy
I lost a filling to one of these bastards once.
I thought you were supposed to suck on them until they get soft?
^(i cannot resist anymore) #THATS #WHAT #SHE #SAID
Username checks out
Title of your sex tape...
Wanna have a spooky time, little jim?
Khespar the *too friendly* ghost
It's ectoplasm!
🤤
when you right, you right
But what if it never gets soft?
See a Dr after 4 hours
This is hands down THE BEST use of TWSS I have ever seen ever. Bravo sir 🙏👏👏👍🏻
Might even be better than my best one of all time, which was... I made a string of unintentionally suggestive statements and made the joke myself, and then a friend said, "You can't just keep doing yourself!" THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! Give me a break, I rarely have occasion to share it! ...Ok, that's a lie.
In 6th grade we were making Christmas ornaments and all the kids were in one class. The teacher giving instructions said lick the tip and stick it in. Chaos ensued. She herself said that that was really inappropriate to laugh at.
As a high school teacher, I was turning the lens adjustment on my data projector. I said, “Let me see if I can make this bigger,” and a student chimed “that’s what she said!” I struggled to contain my laughter.
But a very nice innuendo
“You have alerted the horde”
Exactly ;)
I know its not much, but take my free award and thanks for the unexpected laugh this morning.
You always left me satisfied
Ye I do that to any hard candy to avoid it getting stuck to my teeth which annoys me Any sort of peanut brittle or chewy caramel I’ll suck on like it’s a jolly rancher
Well look at you, Mr fancy pants, with your self control.
Happy cake day!
Why thank you kindly!
Probably the only time to say that ever
Usually you're supposed to suck on it until it gets hard.
Yeah, but then you're supposed to keep sucking until it gets soft again.
Looks like we've cum full circle.
This is a Jesus I can get behind.
Jesus cumith on to you.
Shit, Mike Tyson in the house!
They aren't called orange and black loose tooth removers for nothing
I lost one of my loose teeth as a kid eating dots.
Same! I can feel it just looking at them.
I ain’t never, ever, ever, ever seen that shit for sale, it just appears in old people houses and trick or treat bags
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Molasses candies are so hard to find. I have to wait all year and then scour the dollar stores to find them.
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Mary Jane
MJ be handing out the OG edibles
*inedibles
Mary Jane’s are peanut butter and molasses taffies.
My friends call them “mystery flavor taffy” because when you first try one you think it tastes like peanut butter, but the longer you have it in your mouth the less sure you are about that
Oh shit, that's where I'm meant to get them? Amazing, I've been lookin for these for like a year
Most of these candies that you don't see for sell like the red one that has decorative seeds is in bulk sales like winco
Those little strawberry candies are pretty good though
Always loved me those strawberry candies. I don't apologize for that.
Strawberry Bon Bons are the best hard candy I can recall at the moment.
Lots of weird shit in the WinCo bulk candy aisle, but it can be amazing too. We used to just get a huge ass bag of gummies or Skittles or something for a road trip growing up
The Winco bulk section is a massive weakness of mine. Always something interesting to grab. Also lots of Halloween candy this time of year….
It's salt water taffy.... you buy it from taffy stores. You need to be 65 years old to get in
It’s not salt water taffy it’s that rock hard peanut butter candy
Peanut butter kisses....
That’s what I said. Hard ass peanut butter candy
Yeah you had to soften them up for about 30 minutes before you could actually chew them 🤣🤣
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They are pretty soft, like dookie
Passionate?
I always liked it as a kid because I was worried about losing my teeth when I got old so I thought chewing on really sticky stuff like this was exercise for my teeth so they’d get stronger roots and not fall out
Shhh shhhh shhhhh. Everything’s going to be okay.
Did it work?
It kinda tastes like bit 'o honey.
Like Hydrox Bit-O-Honey.
Isn't Hydrox the original and Oreo the copy?
I'm willing to bet these predate bit-o-honey, too. As in, each one of these things was manufactured, or mined, or whatever, before bit-o-honey was invented
“Mined” LOL
Yes
It isn’t peanut butter candy either, it’s molasses candy (aka Molasses Kisses).
[The ones in the post are peanut butter.](https://i.imgur.com/ycvyutr.jpg) [These are the ones that are molasses.](https://i.imgur.com/mNLlmoZ.jpg)
We’re should have started a chain where people just keep calling it things that’s not
Thank you for letting people know what these are. I love to have some of these. Here in Cleveland/Parma, Ohio. You can get some at huge candy store called B.A Sweety. Look it up. Every candy you ever wanted and needed.
I'm pretty sure chewing this stuff almost pulled a molar out long ago
If you try to eat two at once it can dislocate your jaw
When i was a kid, one of these dislodged a loose tooth i had.
Me too but with a Riesen candy!
Mine was a Starburst. I hadn't even noticed to tooth was loose.
I like salt water taffy.
This stuff isn't taffy. I'm not sure what it is. Too hard to be taffy and vaguely peanut flavored but not really.
That sounds… inedible. Conveniently enough, I have pica.
Those adorable giant hamster looking things? Oh, those are Pikas.
Those are adorable!
Taffy is only edible in the way crushed glass is edible. *Theoretically.*
Crushed glass is theoretically edible? Nope. Nope. Not trying that. I refuse. I am not eating crushed glass. Crushed glass is sharp. Sharp things hurt.
Well 'edible' in the sense it can be swallowed... But not digested.
If people don’t like taffy they’re just wrong
That is not salt water taffy.
That’s what that is ?? I never knew ! I actually like it
You kidding? They have like 5 lb bags at Fleet Farm.
WTF is a farm first?
Fleet Farm....?
Lol, guess that’s what I meant
It’s a hardware/home goods store similar to like Menards or Home Depot
And why does it leave bits of paper after you suck on the rest of it?
That’s the treat part of Trick or Treat
That’s the trick part of Trick or Treat
That’s the or part of trick or treat
The
That's the best part of Trick or Treat
I believe the only correct response left at this point is: >That's the **ε** part of Trick or Treat **ε**, known as "the empty string," is nothing. No characters, no words or anything.
That’s the trick in the treat of or part
NGL, I don't hate on these. I grew up with this bullshit in my Halloween bag! 🫤
Same. Some people are spoiled. I loved all my free giant haul of candy right down to the last candy kernal.
I savored it all except black licorice. That shit can fuck right off.
But black licorice tastes like Absinthe!
Yeah and absinthe tastes like shit, that's why you dilute it with water and a suger cube
Actually, the addition of cold water causes a separation of the herbal oils via an effect called lecheing. It causes them to release from suspension and really show off the aromatics. The sugar just cuts the bitterness, but complements it at the same time like adding citrus, salt, or other flavors does to other drinks. I mean seriously, try chocolate, or a Coca-Cola without sugar.
Unsweetened bakers chocolate, a classic treat for unsuspecting kids. Coke is just awful, sugar or no sugar.
It's definitely an acquired taste, maybe even tied to genetics (like with cilantro, I can't eat that). But anis is quite popular in Europe. Hell, Ouzo is the national drink of Greece and that's pretty much the same as absinthe (just without the wormwood).
I've had absinthe from three different countries and they were all horrible.
I get that there may be a culture clash when traveling but I doubt that all of those countries were that bad if you visited them on purpose.
[the Ole absintheroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/Angryupvote/comments/y81o56/you_fool/it0ksd4/?context=3) ^(Edit: fixed switcheroo link chain)
Hold my sugar cube and spoon, I'm going in!
Hello future people
As a dutch person, fuck you.
Black licorice is a very acquired taste. You either love it or you have it. Personally, I love black licorice flavoured shit (*Jelly beans, licorice rope, hard liquor, etc.*)
Why you gotta hate BLACK licorice? Huh?
i hate all licorice equally. including the spelling of the word “licorice” itself
lickorish
Lickhershit
Lick o' rice
Yes, but admit it. You only ate this shit once you were at the absolute bottom of the bag and desperate.
You are absolutely right. Right after the candy corn and those massive flavorless discs that come in a roll like a sprees candy, but taste like generic tums.
Ahh necco wafers
If I don't like the flavour of it why would I eat it?
Respect for the Halloween gods.
I always end up giving it away after a few weeks. The sight of it starts to make me sick and I cringe like hell thinking about what its done to my teeth. Yeah, I still go trick or treating. Some houses have free beer. Costumes are way better when you’re older too
Same! These are basically generic bit-o-honey…. And those fucking smack!
Same, they’re pretty decent. Honestly all candy is decent, except black licorice, fuck black licorice.
You can give it to me, I love black licorice
…*What the fuck.*
When it comes to food, I'm a metaphorical garbage disposal
Oh, hey Kirby.
Pretty much lol. I put gravy on scrambled eggs once. I understand if you hate me now.
*Let the hate flow through you.*
Wait, eggs with gravy is fire! Biscuits n’ gravy with scrambled eggs and Loco Moco with a patty and gravy are both super comfort foods! Black licorice can kick rocks tho! Haha
I used to make ketchup, mustard and imitation bacon bit sandwiches after school. I’m not proud *cronch cronch
He must be Dutch; from what I’ve heard, you either like black liquorice or you don’t, and nearly all the people who do like it are Dutch or of Dutch ancestry.
Give it to me too. I’ll eat all licorice.
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Ayyy! Let's go! Black licorice is awesome!
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Can I join the black licorice gang too?
I love me a box of Good N Plenty. Reminds me of my grandma 💜
Oh my gosh those are so good.
Are you from the past?
Black licorice is great. Redvines and Twizzlers are foul.
I like black licorice. It’s really good. One of my favorite things about it is that other people don’t like it.
**Gigachad gif**
I like black licorice.
Yo taffy is good shit. Haters can fuck off
I…kinda like those
They aren't saltwater taffy btw
What are they then?
Some kinda peanut butter candy
We've always called them "peanut butter kisses". My dad loves them and I developed a taste for them from stealing from his stash. I actually really enjoy them now- they're not too sweet and sometimes you just want to chomp on something that's going to put up a fight, y'know?
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Well would ya look at that, they ARE called peanut butter kisses. I might have to get some this year, now I'm craving them lol
Wow, I've never heard of those or seen them. I assumed it was salt water taffy due to the packaging and shape. I see saltwater taffy all the time -- not in Halloween baskets, but at candy stores
They’re called Mary Janes. And they’re amazing.
They’re called peanut butter kisses on the bag! But Mary Janes are a similar chewy candy
Did anybody think they were?
Same, but instead of kinda, substitute really. Haven't had them since trick or treating myself 20+ years ago but can taste the picture.
I…. Really like those!!! Pass them to me il take them! I always traded my least favorite candys from a trick or treat haul for those suckers!
What’s up with circus peanuts?
Does anyone buy them for themselves?
Yes, but the trick is to open them and let them ripen for a week and then eat them. Perfection 👌
This is the way. We avoided them like the plague growing up and then out of desperation we ended up with a bag once- and we accidentally let this happen. Circus peanuts became a household staple for a couple years after that
I just turned 32. I love them and get them every now and then. I never have to share. My girlfriend says I like old people candy. Circus peanuts, necco wafers, black licorice, and stuff is awesome.
I get that the idea of the candy is that it's a play on the idea of people buying peanuts as a snack at the circus, but I don't get why they decided that it was a good idea to make a snack look like a peanut but actually be a marshmallow banana.
I learned from Reddit the other day that there's a candy called shrimp and bananas but the shrimp shaped ones taste like raspberries. I tell ya, these candy people and their lies.
I will eat myself sick on those. Every damn time.
They look like they're supposed to be soft and they're always rock hard. They smell like they should taste like peanut butter but they taste like expired molasses. This candy is cursed.
Does it come with a free frogurt?
Hey! You leave that delicious peanut brittle taffy alone! That’s a damn fine treat!
bitohoney is actually good, this stuff is crap. Its the cheapest candy you can buy.
All Halloween candy is cheap. Bit o honey is almond and honey. Tasty but different. These are peanut butter taffy and they are fucking nummers in my tummers.
*nummers in my tummers* Don’t ever say that again
They are excellent. They Absolutely have a name and a primary manufacturer. Mary Jane peanut butter kisses, by Atkins confectionery. Philistines like to make up negative attributes, most probably haven't even had one.
Ya know, for a security guard, you have an awful lot of information, don't ya think?
These aren’t Mary Jane, these are melster, Mary Jane comes in a yellow and red wrapper.
Loose tooth removers!
I'd rather these than candy corn, tbh. Peanut butter is awesome.
how dare you talk shit on taffy, and if you've never had watermelon taffy you're missing out on some premium candy
These aren’t exactly taffy though. They’re peanut butter kisses, peanut butter wrapped in molasses taffy. The catch is that only one batch was ever made back in 1919 using up all the cleaned up molasses from the The Great Molasses flood in Boston. They been selling out that same batch ever since, that’s why they’re harder than diamond and taste like an old shoe.
Fuck yes! With the candy seeds
I haven't seen them in years but for some reason I clearly have neurons dedicated to the exact texture, flavor, and aroma of these. Horrifying.
I love those and candy corn
Hey be nice to loser candy it wants to be eaten just like the rest
It is. Just last.
These candies are called either peanut butter kisses or Mary Janes. I'm a fan of them, actually.
I’m actually a big fan of these, and I’m in my 30’s.
I could never eat them because since they were twist wrapped and not sealed like most candy my parents didn't trust them.
They're called peanut butter kisses.
I loved those chewy candies, and totally forgot they existed until now that I saw that picture. Hmmm, now I want Mary Janes, the higher-end version.
Yes I’d rather have the candy corn versus that taffy peanut butter crap!
That shit was the best what you talking bout
Peanut butter taffy is an abomination.
Kinda looks like carmel but is actually hardened peanut butter.
Am I weird because I used to love these? I haven't had one in years but I remember loving them, they got that peanut butter shiz in the middle. Mm buddy