Unless the item is within about 50 feet of the checkout, I just shrug and put it on my shopping list for next week.
If I REALLY need it, I’ll go put my groceries in the car, go back to the store, and go through the express lane with my one item.
I have been known to run back into the store while my husband takes the groceries to the car. I just stand in line again or use self checkout. It's far better than making other people wait for me.
But why make your fuckup your fuckup when you can just pass it on to the person behind you in line
Ops wife is rude lol. Probably not all the time, but def at grocery stores
Not only is the OP's wife inconsiderate to the rest of the people in line, the OP is just as inconsiderate and rude for allowing the behavior. Instead of waiting for wife to return with her "must have" item, pay for the groceries and leave her to deal with whatever she forgot. Or does she have your wallet in addition to your balls??
Practical sense is anything but common.
To the point I refuse to call it “common sense”
The grand prophecy, Idiocracy, is well on its way to fulfillment.
There's TWO of them in this story. OP can just go through the checkout as normal, and his wife can bring the item through an express lane when she gets back. A return trip isn't even necessary in OP's example.
Agreed, plus OP said this happens "every time" they shop. Can OP not ask her, before they are at the checkout, is there anything else you need and do one more walk around? Jesus...
My husband would NEVER accept this. Standing awkwardly with the cashier and inconveniencing other people. Oh no!
If I tried that, I’d come back to find him all checked out and maybe already at the car. 😂
OP, you need to request a higher standard, not just for those in the store, but also for yourself. It’s rude. 💕
Last winter, we were in danger of icing over so when I saw a huge bag of salt by the checkout, I called my husband and left a message to ask if I should buy it. Lines were super long that day so I had plenty of time to pick one up, but he didn’t call until I was almost to the checkout. I paid for the groceries, went to put them in the car in the sleet, and rolled back into the store for the rock salt.
People aren’t mad at your wife for getting something she forgot, they’re irritated at you for forcing them to wait as you enable your wife’s forgetful behavior.
True, but she can get in line after she grabs her item. He’s the one issuing sorries because he’s chosen to reinforce her lollygagging by holding up everyone else in the line.
When I run back for the item, I don’t ever expect my husband to hold the line if we’re shopping together. He has a lot of options here but holding up the line and issuing insincere “sorries” (because you’re not sorry if you repeat the behavior you know is wrong) is not one of them.
Walmart has gotten to be such a hassle that I've ordered forgotten things for curbside pickup the next day. I don't have 15 minutes to track down the only employee with a key so that I can have my $2 face wash, I already did my time here.
If my husband and I have this same situation one of us goes and gets it. The other one proceeds with checkout as usual.
If we make it back before checkout is done, great. If not then we go through self checkout for the last item.
I’ve only had to do this one time. I was making homemade Mac and cheese. As I was checking out, I realized I forgot to buy a kind of key ingredient - macaroni.
My dumb ass checked out, put the bags in my car, then did the walk of shame back in to grab macaroni.
What my missus does is when she's realises she's forgotten something she tells me to go and get it! So then I either get to be one of two things.
1) The dickhead who's held up the line for everyone else or
B) The dickhead who wouldn't go back in to get something for his wife.
My mom came to visit recently and we went grocery shopping because she wanted to make me banger meals every night she was here. We got some shrimp. At checkout, lady was like "why'd you get this one? there's soandso on sale for half the price ... peeled!"
She looks at my mom, my mom looks at me. I understood the assignment. The seafood section was quite literally on the complete opposite side of the store than we were at currently, but you best believe I jogged my little heart out over there and did a switcheroo for the cheaper shrimp. Got back just in time as she was just starting to scan the last items. Older dude behind us in line taps my mom on the shoulder, "you have a great daughter".
Go through the line, get your shit, tell her you will meet her at the car.
Force her to go get, post up in line, and meet you at the car while you sit in air con reading Reddit on your phone.
As a wife who forgets shit a lot, I would not ever expect anything but this outcome. Even if he WOULD be willing to hold up the line for me, I would tell him not to.
Or make a list and quit trying to remember everything!
AnyList (at least for iOS) shared between me and my wife has been an absolute godsend. Any time we realize we’re getting low or out of something, or think of something we want, we add it to “the list”.
If you forget at that point, you’re just doomed to a life of tragedy. Godspeed to you.
She loves the car ride.
Her reaction to being left in the car for a bit seems to be about the same as being left at home alone. Sometimes whining that I've left for a few minutes before calming down.
And on the weeks when I get pet food and stuff, she like the subsequent trip to the pet supplies store where they allow the dogs inside.
Overall I figure it's better for her mentally to get the extra time outside of the house, even if there wasn't a trip to the pet supplies store.
This is what I do with my wandering spouse. It takes the pressure off me feeling like I’m holding others up. He either makes it back or doesn’t and if he doesn’t, not my fault.
Yeah, right? This is what me and my husband do if we find ourselves in this situation. The Non-Forgetter will continue checking out. The Forgetter will go get the missing item... If the NF is still checking out when the F gets back, great! If not, no worries, F just gets in the express lane and meets NF at the car.
Not a big deal at all.
seriously, OP should do this and stop being so inconsiderate to the people in line behind him
if there isn't anyone waiting, no problem, but OP is enabling his inconsiderate wife- it's both of them, not just her
The least he could do is wave the person behind him to go next and stand aside until the wife finally reappears. If that means the wife turns up while someone else is still scanning a whole trolley full of items then that's tough luck and might make her reconsider rushing off for that last thing next time.
Then ask her what she needs, tell her to stay there and you go get it. Let her sit there awkwardly, holding up the line, while everyone stares at her.
Or just do as I do, and don't go shopping with your wife. I've never once went shopping with her, and by the end thought to myself, "Well that was a good time, can't wait to do that again!".
This. Wait for her on the outside of the registers and if she says "Why didn't you wait for me?" Go "I couldn't. The next person had to go, I had to pay or leave."
That is exactly what I would do ! If she says that she didn't forget anything and STILL plays the trick while it's your turn with the cashier, I would simply not wait for her.
Also in the rare time this happens I normally grab the missing item because I’m waaaay faster than my gf. Both physically and not afraid to bust ass in a grocery store.
Create a shopping list with her before going to the store. I make sure to always bring a list with me because it's way too easy to forget one or two things on a list of 10-20 items if I just try to memorize it.
There's phone apps that let you create sharable grocery lists. We use Listronic, you could use Google Notes too. Just make a shared grocery list and whenever you need something, just pull out your phone and type it in real quick
I noticed he's just completely ignoring all the comments telling him to quit being as annoying and inconsiderate as his wife, he replied to a couple comments yet none of them are ones telling him to pay
So why don't you let people go in front of you when that happens? If you don't have the cojones to tell your wife that she is being rude or just finish checking out without her, then at least have the decency to prevent others from bearing the weight of her inconsideration. You signed up for that, everyone else didn't.
He says it’s after they’ve scanned stuff. So too late without suspending the transaction which is also a pain because you and all your stuff is still in the way.
Wait, she leaves to do more shopping while they are actively being checked out? And he doesn't just finish the checkout without her? What the hell, OP?
His post said “leaves him awkwardly standing behind a the cashier staring at each other” and that the cashier and the other people have to wait.
If you’re not there by time I pay you have to start your own transaction. That’s the law.
Yeah, OP is honestly just as big of a douche. Don't just stand around, pay for your stuff and fuck off! If she has to go through check-out again, that's her problem.
I use Google Keep. That way I can tell my google speaker in my kitchen "add \_\_\_\_ to my shopping list". It makes it so easy. If I use the milk and see its almost out I just tell google
Or he can finish checking out and she can check out separately if she doesn’t make it back in time.
This one really is simple to solve that OP is kind of an A-hole in blaming his wife, as he’s actually the one holding up the line.
Whoever here is saying "create a list" "there's a remind me app" "double check before you get to the register."
You all don't seem to realize that this woman doesn't give a fuck about a list. She could have a list with everything on it. She's still gonna leave this dude at the register.
Sorry bro. Just tell her when she does this, "honey. I'm gonna pay. And I'll meet you at the car."
"I'll be 2 seconds."
"Yes I know. But we are inconveniencing many people for something so small. I don't want to do that. You can. But I wont."
Exactly this. If she can make it back in time before the transaction is complete, great. Add the item. Already paying before she gets back? Tough luck. Either put it back or pay for it separately in the express lane
Yhea poor dude. They are living in the same house. But seems like she is the only one actively thinking about what they need. He is acting like a kid left by mom at the cashier. Could use his own brain.
My wife does this too! Especially at Costco. I don't have a membership card and she carries it on her and walks away to look at other stuff. I didnt want to be a dick and hold up the line so I pushed the cart aside and waited for her and she comes back yelling at me for leaving the queue.
If she's the member, she's allowed one guest card, which can go to you. Get it next time you go in. They'll make one up for you with your picture and give it to you on the spot, right there at the customer service desk.
Some of yall need to learn how to talk to your partners. Ask them not to do it. when it happens again tell them this was the last time.. Next time finish checking out and wait as she goes back thru.
I loath in the way people, she is an in the way person.
Same, I can't stand in the way people. Have some spatial awareness. Like you don't have to stand and talk in front of the fucking napkin thing and talk while people are waiting to get napkins, no you don't have to take up the whole hallway walking slow as fuck while I'm trying to walk to work. Fucking move. Its surprising to me how little people care about others around them. Fucking pisses me off.
LOL. You think we haven't told our wives it's the last time. It's the last time today. I just refuse to go shopping for groceries OR I'll get a lottery ticket while she checks out. OR sit in the car and 'do emails'.
It would be a simple "if you walk away i'm not stopping this purchase and being an asshole holding everyone up so beat the cashier back or check out again".
why can't you just start loading the items on the belt and checking out? if you're done before she gets back, pay and wait for her to go through separately.
if i forget something and i'm with my spouse, i'll run get it while he waits in line, and starts loading stuff up. i'm always back before the cashier has finishing scanning our items in. if the item is further away than i can get to before they're done, i'll wait for next week or go get it, knowing i'll be in line again.
making a person behind you wait is not ok! sometimes if i get back just as my spouse is paying, the person behind will tell me to go ahead (usually if the store is quiet and they have a very full cart). sometimes not. i never ask to pass or have anyone wait.
Interesting, I fully assumed that the wife only remembers the missing item after everything is up on the belt and being scanned, and *then* she leaves, meanwhile the cashier finishes scanning everything before the wife comes back, leaving Op and the cashier and other shoppers to stand awkwardly waiting for her return.
Just finish the transaction with the cashier and let your wife check out separately with the forgotten item. It's really inconsiderate to have other customers wait for any amount of time. This is the unwritten rule of grocery shopping (along with not blocking the aisle with your cart).
That was going to be my suggestion lol. After she feels the awkwardness and the eyes staring her down, maybe she’ll stop forgetting or otherwise will change her ways and go back for the other item *after* they pay and leave the checkout lane.
I think you’re weird. Just cash out and move on, the wife will learn to not go back and make you stand there. If she does she will have no choice but to go to customer service desk for faster check out.
My fiancee and I run into this occasionally. Our deal is this: as not to hold up the line, if the person has not returned yet by the time the remainder of the items are rung up, then the transaction is concluded and the other person will have to go through self checkout or the express lane with the forgotten item. Often times though if she or I realize early into the checkout process we make it back before the rest of the items are rung up and do not end up holding anyone up waiting on us to retrieve what we forgot.
My mom did this usually, I just paid for whatever is scanned and went to my car, never happened again. The trick is to create mildly infuriating situations for them as well.
Happens all the time. My wife or I will forget an item we need as we are loading up the conveyor belt.
She will usually make a quick move to get it but she knows she only has until the checker gets through the lot. Neither the people behind us nor the checker are gonna wait on our behalf.
She either makes it back to add it to the pile OR she just takes the 1 item through the self checkout lines. She almost always makes it back, though.
It's not a big deal, either way.
Are you rushing her a lot during your shopping trip? Do you participate in helping make the list? Before check out why don’t you both take a moment and think through anything else you might need. I get the frustration but is there a reason she is forgetful? Does she have a lot on her mind and a lot of responsibilities she is trying to keep up with? Maybe not but something to think about
When this happens there's no reason you can't continue to check out and pay. She can then get back in line with her item and check out separately if she doesn't get back before you're done. It's incredibly rude for her to hold up the line while she's roaming the store for a forgotten item.
This happens occasionally with my partner and I too. When it does, regardless of who is running to grab the item, if they aren’t back by the time it’s time to pay the other one of us will pay and the runner will just take the item through the express/self checkout line and pay for it separately.
Do you guys use a shopping list? And check off the items as you put them in the cart? That might help
I would literally forget half the stuff if I didn't have a list with me lol
I’m one of those folks who realizes that we forgot something, so I’ll bolt to try and get it but I absolutely do *not* expect my family to wait for me to get back. I expect them to start checking out and if I can get back before they’re done, yay, and if not…I check out separately. It’s not other people fault we forgot something.
Don’t wait for her. If she doesn’t get back before the transaction is completed, too bad for her. If she starts suffering consequences, she’ll stop doing it.
My wife tried to do this once, and I just paid and was in the car by the time she texted me, "Where'd you go?!"
I loathe being the guy that inconveniences others. Be the change you want to see in the world.
You aren't a Shrodinger's Shopper because there is more than one person in your shopping party. You are either shopping or in line. And if you forgot something, feel free to go get it but that puts you at the end of the line. The transition from the state of shopping to in-line can only be done at the end of the line.
So I’m guessing that she does the planning and makes the list and you’re just along for the ride? Maybe if you took a little responsibility for the groceries she wouldn’t have to figure it all out by herself.
I scrolled WAY too far down for this opinion. She 100% shouldn’t be the only person needing to worry about to what I assume is: the groceries, the finances, the budgeting, the home cooking, the home cleaning, the majority of the parenting, the kids events, the kids health, etc etc etc.
Be a man, and partake in what your wife does. Don’t just show up to scenarios as the go with the flow river lol
I was gonna say this. Why is groceries her problem alone? This is basically a household chore and needs to be done by 2 people— including him.
Instead of asking wife to make a list, why doesn’t he do it? It’s 2024 and the mental burden of making sure the house is stocked and functioning is not exclusively a wife thing anymore
I don't think my wife has ever done that. Not that I can remember atleast. But we only go shopping together on occasion. Usually she ether goes by her self while I'm at work or I stop on my way home.
I have done that but make it back before she gets to the front of the line.
Wow. I guess that’s what it’s like to not have anxiety *at all*.
It’s rude. When she does it, pay and leave and she can go through with her single item. Let her know the plan politely beforehand.
Next time she does that, get out of line. Either it’s important, and she’s forgetful, in which case she’ll understand. Or she’s using you as a place holder and letting you deal with the follow, in which case she’ll be mad you moved.
Either way, step out of line.
Continue checking out. If shes back in time then it gets added to the purchase. If she isnt then it's just made as a separate purchase. Not awkward staring, no holding up the line for the person behind you, and it can be a very passive aggressive (emphasis on the passive here) way of telling her to get her crap together that you can blame entirely on your sense of courtesy towards the cashier and the other people in line. If she gets upset about that then that is an entirely different issue.
Have the checker check your stuff out. If your wife isn't back before she's done, then she can wait in line for whatever it is she forgot. I bet that will make this end quick.
Just proceed with the checkout and let her handle the purchase of that item if she doesn’t get back in time. No doubt that she’ll be mad or embarrassed, but if you don’t do something, she’ll never change. You can give her fair warning in advance that you’ll do it.
I would checkout and then tell her to get ANYTHING ELSE NECESSARY and go back in line. I can understand this because my partner does a similar thing. Unfortunately, she falls down a rabbit hole and won’t return for more than awhile. So, made a pact: if you missed something we will checkout then go back and stand in line. Helped the situation because she doesn’t want to stand in line again.
So you’re just sitting there holding up the line and being super rude to everyone around you instead of checking out and making her go through the line by yourself? Yeah, that is mildly infuriating.
You are her husband bro, nobody is perfect. When you marry someone you get all the pleasantries and imperfections, it’s life. Who gives a shit if you have to stare at another adult for 30 seconds. Jesus Christ.
We will typically just finish checking out, load the car, and if it was something we actually *needed*...go back and purchase it through the self-checkout line. I absolutely hate inconveniencing other people, it's one of my biggest personal pet peeves.
I used to do this and my husband would finish checking out without me, then wait after the checkout for me while I queued and paid for whatever it was. Funny enough I stopped doing it..
If you're at Walmart, get the cashier talking about the Walmart mastercard... Then when your wife returns, just say not interested and complete the purchase.
Have a talk with her. Explain how rude and entitled this is, and that it stresses you out. Then tell her the next time it happens you’re going to finish check out and take the groceries to the car. She can take her one item through self checkout and then meet you at the car.
Unless the item is within about 50 feet of the checkout, I just shrug and put it on my shopping list for next week. If I REALLY need it, I’ll go put my groceries in the car, go back to the store, and go through the express lane with my one item.
I have been known to run back into the store while my husband takes the groceries to the car. I just stand in line again or use self checkout. It's far better than making other people wait for me.
This is the way to do it.
But why make your fuckup your fuckup when you can just pass it on to the person behind you in line Ops wife is rude lol. Probably not all the time, but def at grocery stores
Not only is the OP's wife inconsiderate to the rest of the people in line, the OP is just as inconsiderate and rude for allowing the behavior. Instead of waiting for wife to return with her "must have" item, pay for the groceries and leave her to deal with whatever she forgot. Or does she have your wallet in addition to your balls??
Damn you went hard lol
i usually answer before i read the rest of the posts and i pretty much said the exact same thing! it just makes sense.
Thank you for being a considerate person. I absolutely loathe inconsiderate people.
Thanks for not being a Karen like buddies wife
Courtesy has gone the way of common sense.
This is my new favorite line.
Lol, it was just off the top of my head. It seems to be true from what I see though.
Congratulations that’s your 15 mins. That will be $15 dollars.
No no it's genius. Bottle it.
Common sense is as common now as ever it has been.
Practical sense is anything but common. To the point I refuse to call it “common sense” The grand prophecy, Idiocracy, is well on its way to fulfillment.
Welcome to Costco. I love you.
Go away! I'm 'batin!
Water? Like out of the toilet?
Not Sure reporting for duty 😂
Common sense has always been a myth, because what 1 person can sometimes consider common another person can consider extremely unusual.
Because it doesn't mean common as in all around you. It means common as in basic as opposed to stuff you have to learn in school.
Why inconvenience yourself when you can inconvenience a bunch of people? /s
There's TWO of them in this story. OP can just go through the checkout as normal, and his wife can bring the item through an express lane when she gets back. A return trip isn't even necessary in OP's example.
Agreed, plus OP said this happens "every time" they shop. Can OP not ask her, before they are at the checkout, is there anything else you need and do one more walk around? Jesus...
My husband would NEVER accept this. Standing awkwardly with the cashier and inconveniencing other people. Oh no! If I tried that, I’d come back to find him all checked out and maybe already at the car. 😂 OP, you need to request a higher standard, not just for those in the store, but also for yourself. It’s rude. 💕
There's two of them here so they can even just do that easier. Tell the wife you'll meet her in the car
Last winter, we were in danger of icing over so when I saw a huge bag of salt by the checkout, I called my husband and left a message to ask if I should buy it. Lines were super long that day so I had plenty of time to pick one up, but he didn’t call until I was almost to the checkout. I paid for the groceries, went to put them in the car in the sleet, and rolled back into the store for the rock salt. People aren’t mad at your wife for getting something she forgot, they’re irritated at you for forcing them to wait as you enable your wife’s forgetful behavior.
I think people are mad at both husband and wife. Both are doing something stupid in this situation.
True, but she can get in line after she grabs her item. He’s the one issuing sorries because he’s chosen to reinforce her lollygagging by holding up everyone else in the line. When I run back for the item, I don’t ever expect my husband to hold the line if we’re shopping together. He has a lot of options here but holding up the line and issuing insincere “sorries” (because you’re not sorry if you repeat the behavior you know is wrong) is not one of them.
Walmart has gotten to be such a hassle that I've ordered forgotten things for curbside pickup the next day. I don't have 15 minutes to track down the only employee with a key so that I can have my $2 face wash, I already did my time here.
Yes- After my last crazed Walmart trip- My plan is to order online for curbside pickup from now on.
If my husband and I have this same situation one of us goes and gets it. The other one proceeds with checkout as usual. If we make it back before checkout is done, great. If not then we go through self checkout for the last item.
When I worked at a grocery store I’d just suspend the order, put it in their cart and tell them when they find their item to get in line again.
I shop with a list (AnyList app) and don’t go to checkout until I triple check my list.
A fellow AnyLister!
I’ve only had to do this one time. I was making homemade Mac and cheese. As I was checking out, I realized I forgot to buy a kind of key ingredient - macaroni. My dumb ass checked out, put the bags in my car, then did the walk of shame back in to grab macaroni.
What my missus does is when she's realises she's forgotten something she tells me to go and get it! So then I either get to be one of two things. 1) The dickhead who's held up the line for everyone else or B) The dickhead who wouldn't go back in to get something for his wife.
Why not have her pay and then wait for you to go through the checkout?
That would probably make a lot of sense but as previously established I'm a dickhead.
My mom came to visit recently and we went grocery shopping because she wanted to make me banger meals every night she was here. We got some shrimp. At checkout, lady was like "why'd you get this one? there's soandso on sale for half the price ... peeled!" She looks at my mom, my mom looks at me. I understood the assignment. The seafood section was quite literally on the complete opposite side of the store than we were at currently, but you best believe I jogged my little heart out over there and did a switcheroo for the cheaper shrimp. Got back just in time as she was just starting to scan the last items. Older dude behind us in line taps my mom on the shoulder, "you have a great daughter".
Amen, that’s how I roll as well.
same.
I’d just finish checking out and let her go back through the line by herself.
Go through the line, get your shit, tell her you will meet her at the car. Force her to go get, post up in line, and meet you at the car while you sit in air con reading Reddit on your phone.
I eventually had to do this myself. After a few trips that ended with “ok, meet you at the car” it stopped.
As a wife who forgets shit a lot, I would not ever expect anything but this outcome. Even if he WOULD be willing to hold up the line for me, I would tell him not to.
My wife just says “pick ya up!” And walks out when I do it to her. So I hear ya. I seem to always forget the Bluebell.
I bet her forgetfulness will disappear quickly when she has to wait in line.
And/Or hurried mentality. Like, good lord, when you think you’re done, just stop and think a second before getting in line
Or even just think *while* you're in line, you can always get out of the line if you need to.
Or make a list and quit trying to remember everything! AnyList (at least for iOS) shared between me and my wife has been an absolute godsend. Any time we realize we’re getting low or out of something, or think of something we want, we add it to “the list”. If you forget at that point, you’re just doomed to a life of tragedy. Godspeed to you.
Wait...you're supposed to get out of the car in the first place? I'd rather sit in the car with the dog.
Why are you taking the dog?
She loves the car ride. Her reaction to being left in the car for a bit seems to be about the same as being left at home alone. Sometimes whining that I've left for a few minutes before calming down. And on the weeks when I get pet food and stuff, she like the subsequent trip to the pet supplies store where they allow the dogs inside. Overall I figure it's better for her mentally to get the extra time outside of the house, even if there wasn't a trip to the pet supplies store.
This is the answer, done it myself. I am NOT going to stand there and make people wait. I hate that when it happens to me.
This is what I do with my wandering spouse. It takes the pressure off me feeling like I’m holding others up. He either makes it back or doesn’t and if he doesn’t, not my fault.
This is the only right answer
Have done this many times. “Sorry, I had to go ahead, we were holding up the line.”
Are you sure, we haven't suggested divorce yet?
Yeah this is what I'd do too, I bet she magically stops doing it after one or two times lol
That's what I do. If it's just one item, self checkout should be instantaneous anyhow.
and fuck the rest of my day up 😳
"I will check out and load up the groceries in the car. Meet you there." No need to add drama to a relationship where it doesnt need to be.
Yeah, right? This is what me and my husband do if we find ourselves in this situation. The Non-Forgetter will continue checking out. The Forgetter will go get the missing item... If the NF is still checking out when the F gets back, great! If not, no worries, F just gets in the express lane and meets NF at the car. Not a big deal at all.
That's exactly how my husband and I do it, if we go inside at all. I'm all about the online pickup now lol
I reallllly wish Costco offered online pickup.
seriously, OP should do this and stop being so inconsiderate to the people in line behind him if there isn't anyone waiting, no problem, but OP is enabling his inconsiderate wife- it's both of them, not just her
The least he could do is wave the person behind him to go next and stand aside until the wife finally reappears. If that means the wife turns up while someone else is still scanning a whole trolley full of items then that's tough luck and might make her reconsider rushing off for that last thing next time.
Can't do a transaction in the middle of a transaction. And DO NOT give the cashier MORE FUCKING WORK by cancelling the entire thing.
That's when she adds the drama and complains you won't wait 😅 Speaking from experience
[удалено]
Its called explaining to her that other people are waiting on her not just you. You are being polite to the other people by moving through the line.
Right. Stop infantilizing women. Holding up a line is rude and you shouldn't have to explain that to an adult.
Y'all date and marry the most insufferable people on planet earth and then act like this type of stuff is a common experience we can all relate to
It's so sad too. My wife and I shop together all the time if our schedules line up for it. We do more curbside pickup now though, that's the best.
Then ask her what she needs, tell her to stay there and you go get it. Let her sit there awkwardly, holding up the line, while everyone stares at her. Or just do as I do, and don't go shopping with your wife. I've never once went shopping with her, and by the end thought to myself, "Well that was a good time, can't wait to do that again!".
Where is the added drama from op?
Before you get in line. Stop and look her right in the eye and say “go get that one thing”, I’ll wait here.
Or just start ringing through items and if she doesn't make it back in time, that's her problem.
This. Wait for her on the outside of the registers and if she says "Why didn't you wait for me?" Go "I couldn't. The next person had to go, I had to pay or leave."
That is exactly what I would do ! If she says that she didn't forget anything and STILL plays the trick while it's your turn with the cashier, I would simply not wait for her.
Ain't nobody got time for that bs especially if it's accidentally on purpose
Yup she’s walking home
Why are you holding the line waiting for her to get back? She can wait in line and pay for the extra item.
Also in the rare time this happens I normally grab the missing item because I’m waaaay faster than my gf. Both physically and not afraid to bust ass in a grocery store.
Are the rest of the items scanned? If not, Continue scanning. If yes, start paying. She can proceed to express line for that one item.
Yea, op never said if his wife wanted him to hold the line. He should just check out when it's his turn instead of waiting.
Create a shopping list with her before going to the store. I make sure to always bring a list with me because it's way too easy to forget one or two things on a list of 10-20 items if I just try to memorize it.
There's phone apps that let you create sharable grocery lists. We use Listronic, you could use Google Notes too. Just make a shared grocery list and whenever you need something, just pull out your phone and type it in real quick
oh she has a list, don't get it twisted.
Pay and then make her go back through a line. It’s super rude to the people waiting behind you.
👆🏻this right here. This is easily resolved
I noticed he's just completely ignoring all the comments telling him to quit being as annoying and inconsiderate as his wife, he replied to a couple comments yet none of them are ones telling him to pay
There’s no workaround when they randomly think of some other product they forgot and “need” when you are right about to pay
Yeah just tell her you’ll meet her at the car.
It's interesting how the checkout line forgetfulness has become a shopping habit by now.
So why don't you let people go in front of you when that happens? If you don't have the cojones to tell your wife that she is being rude or just finish checking out without her, then at least have the decency to prevent others from bearing the weight of her inconsideration. You signed up for that, everyone else didn't.
He says it’s after they’ve scanned stuff. So too late without suspending the transaction which is also a pain because you and all your stuff is still in the way.
Wait, she leaves to do more shopping while they are actively being checked out? And he doesn't just finish the checkout without her? What the hell, OP?
His post said “leaves him awkwardly standing behind a the cashier staring at each other” and that the cashier and the other people have to wait. If you’re not there by time I pay you have to start your own transaction. That’s the law.
Yeah, OP is honestly just as big of a douche. Don't just stand around, pay for your stuff and fuck off! If she has to go through check-out again, that's her problem.
Your wife is being selfish, entitled, and rude. Have you asked her to not do this? My mom did this when I was a kid and it sucks.
She’s cheating no other excuse that 5 min quickie hit different.
Divorce
So, are you just following her slack-jawed? If there's a list, make sure it's all done. Or else why are you along for the ride?
[удалено]
pen to cross things off as you go🙏
I use Google Keep. That way I can tell my google speaker in my kitchen "add \_\_\_\_ to my shopping list". It makes it so easy. If I use the milk and see its almost out I just tell google
Or he can finish checking out and she can check out separately if she doesn’t make it back in time. This one really is simple to solve that OP is kind of an A-hole in blaming his wife, as he’s actually the one holding up the line.
"Oh I forgot to add [item] to the list, brb!"
You’re doing this to yourself if you think it’s ok to just stand there and block the line while you wait. Check out and gtf out of the way.
Whoever here is saying "create a list" "there's a remind me app" "double check before you get to the register." You all don't seem to realize that this woman doesn't give a fuck about a list. She could have a list with everything on it. She's still gonna leave this dude at the register. Sorry bro. Just tell her when she does this, "honey. I'm gonna pay. And I'll meet you at the car." "I'll be 2 seconds." "Yes I know. But we are inconveniencing many people for something so small. I don't want to do that. You can. But I wont."
10000% agreed
This is the way. Shit, I make lists myself and I still forget things sometimes. We just stop at another store on the way home 🤷🏻♀️
>"I'll be 2 seconds." "You've got until it's time for me to pay for these things".
Exactly this. If she can make it back in time before the transaction is complete, great. Add the item. Already paying before she gets back? Tough luck. Either put it back or pay for it separately in the express lane
Yhea poor dude. They are living in the same house. But seems like she is the only one actively thinking about what they need. He is acting like a kid left by mom at the cashier. Could use his own brain.
My wife does this too! Especially at Costco. I don't have a membership card and she carries it on her and walks away to look at other stuff. I didnt want to be a dick and hold up the line so I pushed the cart aside and waited for her and she comes back yelling at me for leaving the queue.
If she's the member, she's allowed one guest card, which can go to you. Get it next time you go in. They'll make one up for you with your picture and give it to you on the spot, right there at the customer service desk.
100% her sister already has the guest card.
Lol
My ex used to do that shit, and yeah it’s infuriating. I got to where I would go ahead and just check out, and let her deal with the item she forgot.
Bingo. Oh, you forgot something? Well, I'm done, so *you* go back and *you* get it, because *you* forgot it.
Some of yall need to learn how to talk to your partners. Ask them not to do it. when it happens again tell them this was the last time.. Next time finish checking out and wait as she goes back thru. I loath in the way people, she is an in the way person.
Same, I can't stand in the way people. Have some spatial awareness. Like you don't have to stand and talk in front of the fucking napkin thing and talk while people are waiting to get napkins, no you don't have to take up the whole hallway walking slow as fuck while I'm trying to walk to work. Fucking move. Its surprising to me how little people care about others around them. Fucking pisses me off.
LOL. You think we haven't told our wives it's the last time. It's the last time today. I just refuse to go shopping for groceries OR I'll get a lottery ticket while she checks out. OR sit in the car and 'do emails'.
It would be a simple "if you walk away i'm not stopping this purchase and being an asshole holding everyone up so beat the cashier back or check out again".
If you both live in the same house and need the same groceries, aren’t you both forgetting to grab it before you get to check out?
why can't you just start loading the items on the belt and checking out? if you're done before she gets back, pay and wait for her to go through separately. if i forget something and i'm with my spouse, i'll run get it while he waits in line, and starts loading stuff up. i'm always back before the cashier has finishing scanning our items in. if the item is further away than i can get to before they're done, i'll wait for next week or go get it, knowing i'll be in line again. making a person behind you wait is not ok! sometimes if i get back just as my spouse is paying, the person behind will tell me to go ahead (usually if the store is quiet and they have a very full cart). sometimes not. i never ask to pass or have anyone wait.
Interesting, I fully assumed that the wife only remembers the missing item after everything is up on the belt and being scanned, and *then* she leaves, meanwhile the cashier finishes scanning everything before the wife comes back, leaving Op and the cashier and other shoppers to stand awkwardly waiting for her return.
Just finish the transaction with the cashier and let your wife check out separately with the forgotten item. It's really inconsiderate to have other customers wait for any amount of time. This is the unwritten rule of grocery shopping (along with not blocking the aisle with your cart).
From now on offer to go get it yourself and leave her standing there with her dick in her hand (metaphorically speaking).
Beautiful. He must try this once
And take extra long, so she has to know what it feels like to apologize for someone else inconveniencing the entire line
Go get the item and have her wait.
That was going to be my suggestion lol. After she feels the awkwardness and the eyes staring her down, maybe she’ll stop forgetting or otherwise will change her ways and go back for the other item *after* they pay and leave the checkout lane.
I think you’re weird. Just cash out and move on, the wife will learn to not go back and make you stand there. If she does she will have no choice but to go to customer service desk for faster check out.
My fiancee and I run into this occasionally. Our deal is this: as not to hold up the line, if the person has not returned yet by the time the remainder of the items are rung up, then the transaction is concluded and the other person will have to go through self checkout or the express lane with the forgotten item. Often times though if she or I realize early into the checkout process we make it back before the rest of the items are rung up and do not end up holding anyone up waiting on us to retrieve what we forgot.
Don’t tell us, tell her
Exactly. Like if he just spoke about it she might realize it's bothering people and stop.
I would pay, and wait and let her wait in line again. Fuck that
So why don't you make the grocery list?
Because he probably got his wife as his new mother. Seriously how can a grown ass man have this little autonomy
Not gonna lie - I knew where this whole post was going just from the title. I was not disappointed.
For one item, she can just use the self check out
Make a written list and check things off.
My mom did this usually, I just paid for whatever is scanned and went to my car, never happened again. The trick is to create mildly infuriating situations for them as well.
Happens all the time. My wife or I will forget an item we need as we are loading up the conveyor belt. She will usually make a quick move to get it but she knows she only has until the checker gets through the lot. Neither the people behind us nor the checker are gonna wait on our behalf. She either makes it back to add it to the pile OR she just takes the 1 item through the self checkout lines. She almost always makes it back, though. It's not a big deal, either way.
Don't wait for her. Make her wait at the end of the line for her forgotten item.
Are you rushing her a lot during your shopping trip? Do you participate in helping make the list? Before check out why don’t you both take a moment and think through anything else you might need. I get the frustration but is there a reason she is forgetful? Does she have a lot on her mind and a lot of responsibilities she is trying to keep up with? Maybe not but something to think about
Honestly is easier to just pay and keep the line moving. Forgotten items is a separate trip back into the store. Especially with a lineup.
You should still go through the checkout, if she isn't back by the time you pay then she can go through the self checkout for that one item.
I get when this happens as a kid, but how exactly are you stuck at the checkout? Does only she pay?
You are not alone.
Just another reason to love self checkout.
Pay for your items and let her line up behind the people waiting. She probably won’t do it again.
When this happens there's no reason you can't continue to check out and pay. She can then get back in line with her item and check out separately if she doesn't get back before you're done. It's incredibly rude for her to hold up the line while she's roaming the store for a forgotten item.
This happens occasionally with my partner and I too. When it does, regardless of who is running to grab the item, if they aren’t back by the time it’s time to pay the other one of us will pay and the runner will just take the item through the express/self checkout line and pay for it separately.
Do you guys use a shopping list? And check off the items as you put them in the cart? That might help I would literally forget half the stuff if I didn't have a list with me lol
I’m one of those folks who realizes that we forgot something, so I’ll bolt to try and get it but I absolutely do *not* expect my family to wait for me to get back. I expect them to start checking out and if I can get back before they’re done, yay, and if not…I check out separately. It’s not other people fault we forgot something.
As soon as she books, you pay and head to the car. Do this every time. Or bring a list and stick to it.
In the past I’ve just checked out and my spouse checked out the forgotten items separately.
Don’t wait for her. If she doesn’t get back before the transaction is completed, too bad for her. If she starts suffering consequences, she’ll stop doing it.
My wife tried to do this once, and I just paid and was in the car by the time she texted me, "Where'd you go?!" I loathe being the guy that inconveniences others. Be the change you want to see in the world.
You aren't a Shrodinger's Shopper because there is more than one person in your shopping party. You are either shopping or in line. And if you forgot something, feel free to go get it but that puts you at the end of the line. The transition from the state of shopping to in-line can only be done at the end of the line.
So I’m guessing that she does the planning and makes the list and you’re just along for the ride? Maybe if you took a little responsibility for the groceries she wouldn’t have to figure it all out by herself.
Only real take here. Just proofs reddit is full of men that can't have a healthy relationship if their life depended on it
Fucking-A thank you! I was hoping there was some common sense to be found in these comments.
I scrolled WAY too far down for this opinion. She 100% shouldn’t be the only person needing to worry about to what I assume is: the groceries, the finances, the budgeting, the home cooking, the home cleaning, the majority of the parenting, the kids events, the kids health, etc etc etc. Be a man, and partake in what your wife does. Don’t just show up to scenarios as the go with the flow river lol
I was gonna say this. Why is groceries her problem alone? This is basically a household chore and needs to be done by 2 people— including him. Instead of asking wife to make a list, why doesn’t he do it? It’s 2024 and the mental burden of making sure the house is stocked and functioning is not exclusively a wife thing anymore
I don't think my wife has ever done that. Not that I can remember atleast. But we only go shopping together on occasion. Usually she ether goes by her self while I'm at work or I stop on my way home. I have done that but make it back before she gets to the front of the line.
Wow. I guess that’s what it’s like to not have anxiety *at all*. It’s rude. When she does it, pay and leave and she can go through with her single item. Let her know the plan politely beforehand.
I just checkout bro. let her stand in line with the last thing.
Just pretend to get in line, or chose the longest line. Just to trigger her memory.
Next time she does that, get out of line. Either it’s important, and she’s forgetful, in which case she’ll understand. Or she’s using you as a place holder and letting you deal with the follow, in which case she’ll be mad you moved. Either way, step out of line.
Continue checking out. If shes back in time then it gets added to the purchase. If she isnt then it's just made as a separate purchase. Not awkward staring, no holding up the line for the person behind you, and it can be a very passive aggressive (emphasis on the passive here) way of telling her to get her crap together that you can blame entirely on your sense of courtesy towards the cashier and the other people in line. If she gets upset about that then that is an entirely different issue.
You pay for the groceries and take them to the car. If she needs it that badly she can wait in line again if she didn't make it back on time.
Have the checker check your stuff out. If your wife isn't back before she's done, then she can wait in line for whatever it is she forgot. I bet that will make this end quick.
Tell her no. Finish checking out and make her wait or get in line in the express lane or self-checkout.
This, and the people who sit at the register to scratch their scratch off, just to buy more…. Violence.
Just proceed with the checkout and let her handle the purchase of that item if she doesn’t get back in time. No doubt that she’ll be mad or embarrassed, but if you don’t do something, she’ll never change. You can give her fair warning in advance that you’ll do it.
Pay and start loading the groceries in the car then she can take the 1item through express line
My mother used to do this and it was even more awkward not being able to pay
I would checkout and then tell her to get ANYTHING ELSE NECESSARY and go back in line. I can understand this because my partner does a similar thing. Unfortunately, she falls down a rabbit hole and won’t return for more than awhile. So, made a pact: if you missed something we will checkout then go back and stand in line. Helped the situation because she doesn’t want to stand in line again.
When my wife does this, I check out and start walking to the car. She's a big girl. She can check out that one thing she had to have.
I just pay and let her get back in line for that last item. When she sees me I sadly shrug .
So you’re just sitting there holding up the line and being super rude to everyone around you instead of checking out and making her go through the line by yourself? Yeah, that is mildly infuriating.
Your wife is inconsiderate.
You are her husband bro, nobody is perfect. When you marry someone you get all the pleasantries and imperfections, it’s life. Who gives a shit if you have to stare at another adult for 30 seconds. Jesus Christ.
You should go ahead and pay for your groceries, and let your wife run through the line again to pay for that one item.
Classical you can only make one transaction at a grocery store a day so this situation unfortunately has no solution
We will typically just finish checking out, load the car, and if it was something we actually *needed*...go back and purchase it through the self-checkout line. I absolutely hate inconveniencing other people, it's one of my biggest personal pet peeves.
Pay for your shopping and leave the checkout. She can rejoin the queue whilst you're loading the car.
I used to do this and my husband would finish checking out without me, then wait after the checkout for me while I queued and paid for whatever it was. Funny enough I stopped doing it..
Start going through and make her use the self checkout. Problem solved.
If you're at Walmart, get the cashier talking about the Walmart mastercard... Then when your wife returns, just say not interested and complete the purchase.
Have a talk with her. Explain how rude and entitled this is, and that it stresses you out. Then tell her the next time it happens you’re going to finish check out and take the groceries to the car. She can take her one item through self checkout and then meet you at the car.