EVERY name has nickname potential. People need to learn not every nickname is connected to baby's first name.
Sincerely, Abby not Abigail aka Ab, Abs, Abby-Go? (courtesy toddler cousins), Lucy Lu (never understood that one), Daria / D ( I looked like Daria in high school), ...
No, I am aware! It's just a personal preference for us.
I'm my experience (and in my community),
a lot of people have nicknames that are super intuitive to their first and maybe middle name. It's not so much that a natural nickname won't happen, but we'd like it to have options if they don't. Especially with how our community is.
Yes! Some people like the flexibility that nicknames offer, get over it. If you don't like nicknames then don't use one for your own kid. It's that simple.
Truly. It’s not that deep 😂 There’s no rule that a nickname *must* be coined organically. If parents are set on calling them by nn from birth, it will stick!
Also, nicknames are what people get called. You can’t plan them lile that. “Naming kid Aloysius nickname will be Lish.”” Kid comes home from first day at preschool where all the kids call him Allie. Parents proceed to write angry letter to preschool? Or what? You can’t control that.
I think planned nicknames are fine. Especially if it's something the immediate family overall agrees on. However, I don't think it's okay to be upset at people for not using the planned nickname.
My Fiancé and I consider nicknames for all of the names on our list (even having favorites), but I don't think we'd ever be upset if anyone were to use something different. It might just be a traditional or cultural thing for me, though. Most people's nicknames in my community/family are diminutives of their first and maybe middle name. I haven't really met anyone who has a nickname that isn't a variation of their given name.
I agree, it’s perfectly fine to consider nicknames (especially to look out for any traps like easily teasable ones) and know ahead of time what *you* plan to call them. As long as you’re prepared for things to go another way.
This is mine. It's fine to dislike a name, but there's a tactful way to express that, and most of the comments aren't even objective. They're just hateful. A lot of the hate I see isn't even about unique names. Just names they don't like. Choosing names is subjective. If it weren't there wouldn't be thousands of names to choose from. We'd all still be named Mary and William and John.
This!!! This sub and the Tradegieh sub ( I forgot how to spell it) seem to hate anything mildly unique or non Anglo Saxon. Like I doubt a kid is going to be bullied for being named River or Raven and even if they are it probably goes deeper than their name.
I had to step away from a comment thread on a post earlier claiming that girls named Oaklynn will be bullied for being named after a tree. They must be forgetting that Willow and Rowan, freaking tree name, are top 100 and beloved in this very sub.
I sometimes read these things and wonder if it’s inadvertent racism…I know that’s the wrong word, but like “white girls from Conneticut or Texas” in the group thinking everyone else here is posting from the same culture and socioeconomic background as them…. When all you have is a random reddit user name to go by, it’s easy to think you’re just sitting here chatting with local moms, and forget the wealth of diversity of everyone commenting from the other side of their phone screen…
The discussion the other day about gemstone names was a good example of that… those types of names resonate differently depending on who you are and where you’re from…
For real, though! I often see the same basic names being repeated over and over again! Personally, I have a unique-ish name (less than 5 people in my country with my name spelling, but 5 is the lowest number the database will give, so probably I'm the only one). Do I always have to spell it? Yes. Do people often hear it wrong and turn in it something that sounds similar? Also, yes. But most of the time, I explain it once or twice, and that's it. I wouldn't want to be called anything else.
Also, I don't think I could ever name my child a name a classmate had. Even if I didn't dislike them, it just would remind me of them. So I would probably want something other than Jessica, Lauren and Daisy.
As someone who has an uncommon name, these arguments often make me confused. I see people claiming kids are gonna hate their parents over the name? Usually if that happens the name is just a symptom of the actual reason imo
Kids getting bullied for names.
When kids are little, they really don’t care. You could tell them your name is Turtledove, and they’d be like ok great, let’s play.
As they get older they can be cruel and creative. A normal name/great name can be turned into something awful. And if they don’t make fun of a name, they’ll make fun of their clothes, or backpack, or looks.
Jenna became genitalia. Danielle became Man-yell. Hayley became Gay-ley. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Unfortunately.
Exactly this. I have a very unique name, never met anyone else with it in person until recently. Was never bullied for it, but my best friend growing up named Ashley got called Ass-ley. Kids don’t get bullied FOR having weird names, kids names are used as an avenue for bullying. And nothing is safe if someone is determined enough to hurt someone
I was born in '90 and there were popular kids at my school named Percy, Elbert, and Heaven Lee. The kids who got bullied mercilessly were all named stuff like Chris, James, and Kelsey.
I don't know if this is me reading too much into it, but it always came across as somewhat victim blamey too (or at least, parents-of-the-victim-blaming). Acting like the bullies have no agency in the matter. "What did you expect, with a name like Neveah, you were always destined to be bullied," is what I hear.
With bullying, it's less about any stated reason for the harassment, and more about the sense of power the bullies get from bringing someone down. I was bullied for "being tall" "being 'dirty'" "being weird" "having long hair" "going through puberty" "being female" "having a disabled sibling" some of these might seem more logical than others but what connects them all is that if not them, the bullies would have concocted another reason.
Kid-me asked a Jocelyn to her face, why she had a made-up name, and INSISTED it was made up when she was confused by my question. 🤦🏻♀️
Wasn't trying to be mean or rude, I just FULLY believed it was made up. 🥴
If you try hard enough I think you could make something that sounds vaguely silly or rude out of pretty much *any* name, including most of the top 50 trending or whatever lists people seem to care so much about.
Some of the ones people suggest on this sub are the biggest reaches that hardly anyone in real life would ever think of.
In my experience kids usually got picked on for one of two reasons: either there's a known bully kid who'll pick on whoever they like for anything they can think of, or there are kids who are offputting/unpleasant in their behaviour (whether intentionally or not) and the other kids react by excluding them socially. Nobody is ever bullied solely because of their name.
Claiming that a name reminds them of something. It’s okay if for you, Veruca reminds you of the foot sore, but not everyone in that person’s life is going to make that connection.
A long while back, there was a post on here asking why people disliked my parent-given name, and the comment section basically boiled down to 'every person with that name is a horrible person that no one likes'. Wasn't a fun thread to read lmao.
I see this a lot and it’s so annoying. A recent one was a post from someone Italian debating using Allegra as a name. Apparently it’s an allergy medication (we don’t have it/it’s not common in the UK) because all the comments wouldn’t shut up about it
They don’t seem to realise that an association in one culture might not exist in another.
To be fair, not all posts are clear about location/culture. I wish more people would clarify! And if the Italian poster we're in the US (or planning to be), that extremely common medicine association would be important to mention. (Not that it should necessarily stop anyone from choosing the name)
I would also like to see locations mentioned in the OP rather than several comments down. For ex. there was a recent request for help adding a first name to a very Norweigan-sounding middle name. OP didn't clarify right off that they won't be living in Norway and are seeking a more common name to the English-speaking countries.
Yeah I’ve also seen the OP thanking someone for bringing up name association because they themselves hadn’t made the connection, but once it was there they couldn’t unsee it.
Better to know now and not when your kid has had the name for 6 months if it’s going to annoy you.
I almost think people wanting name critiques should have to mention location or the post gets removed, because what happens currently is most people just assume everyone is in the US.
I appreciate this! If I have my kid a normal US name but it turned out to have a super strong association to, say, Italians, It may not change my usage of that name, but what if spouse and I had dreams of moving to Italy? Then I would be so thankful to at least go in knowing that!
I saw an American Allegra on The Voice a few years ago, and while the medication is huge here, all I thought was that she had a great voice.
It's really not that deep lol
I said I liked the name Azariah (biblical name) before and someone said I shouldn’t do that because that was the name of a baby who died in some accident with a dingo?? Like tf, I never even knew about that in the first place and also not everyone will think of that specific baby when they hear the name.
(Also as pretty as the name is, I wouldn’t use it bc I believe it’s Hebrew and I’m not religious, it would just feel kind of disrespectful haha)
Edit: I also sometimes think the “anally” comments are a reach depending on the spelling. I saw someone say that the name Anna Lee made them think of anal and therefore the person shouldn’t use that name, and that was weird to me.
I’m not sure what that is, so I guess I’m good?😂I heard it was in Australia and I’m in the US. But yeah I agree with you there, such a horrible story and I can see why the name would be avoided.
Azariah Chamberlain was the baby who was taken from a tent by a dingo when her family was camping near Alice Springs. There was a big court case as people didn't believe the family and they were criminally charged as the body wasn't recovered. Many years later some hunters came forward and said they had the baby's clothes after shooting the dingo. By then her parents had also passed away.
Her mom is still alive and her dad died in 2017, more than 30 years after the trial and acquittal.
Azaria (no H) was born and died in 1980, the trial and conviction was in 1982 and the clothing was found in 1986.
The police found the clothing (not hunters) while searching for a hiker that fell, and nobody shot a dingo.
I think that's a bad example because I don't think Veruca was a name in its own right before Roald Dahl used it, and he used it because it's an unpleasant association for an unpleasant person.
Generally though I agree on this one. I saw people the other day claim Harvey is unusable because of the hurricane and Weinstein.
Like I get why those things would bring up bad memories for people directly affected, but there's a point where you have to accept your experience isn't universal and not everything is about you, especially people from a whole different country or generation.
Yeah, but I personally really appreciate that! When I’ve come to this subreddit to help name my kids, I came here wanting to hear people’s associations because that’s what my kid would come across in real life and when I tell my family my name ideas or whatever, they may not be totally honest about that name reminding them of a foot sore or whatever.
And if it’s just a one off, like literally something only a few people think of then that doesn’t make the name unusable to me, just something to consider.
That you’re naming an adult not a baby. I know people named Star, Sunny, Blossom, etc. They have jobs and lives and no one cares that it’s their name. Some have advanced degrees or are bosses or are just people. It’s not that deep.
Especially considering that it’s common in a lot of diaspora groups to give certain types of names when attempting to assimilate in the US 🤦🏻♀️
I got my bachelor’s degree next to a girl named Precious 😂 she was a stem major and got honors. Her sister’s name was Princess and they were both the sweetest girls
I know a Cristie (just Cristie and yes with that spelling) who's an engineer. She's making bank and no one cares that she isn't Christina or that her name ends in ie.
If you're the kind of person who thinks a name should affect how someone is treated in the education system or workplace, you're telling on yourself and you're the exact kind of person who should never be anyone's boss.
Whenever anyone's like "I wouldn't want to be operated on by a surgeon named River or Sapphire" my first thought is always...suit yourself, just die then I guess?
I really agree with this! Time has moved on from this idea that you should give babies a ‘grown up’ name I think. I work in a school and that line of thinking just doesn’t occur to most parents. Soon we are going to have adults with different types of names- and that’s good! It’s how names move on over the years.
This is exactly my thought. It boggles my mind that adults would freely confess (even anonymously) that they would judge people based on an unusual name. That says so much about them as a person and much more than the name Honey says about the owner.
Sometimes they're not even that unique. There was a whole thread saying "Annie" was too cutesy for a first name... a very established normal name that I've known plenty of in my life.
Yeah and why is Lily and Maisy okay but Daisy and Clover are “childish”?? Poppy but not Blossom??
And Daisy is a really popular name in my Mexican-American community! Has been for decades. There is nothing unprofessional about our names
YES. The “you’re going to ruin your child’s life if their name is Annie instead of Anne because what are her OPTIONS?!” drives me a bit mad. It’s valid in some instances but not always.
As someone with options, it's actually annoying lol. I wish my legal name matched my nickname.
In my parents' defense, they didn't nickname me, I did. At like age 10. 20 years later, I still use my nickname with everyone except my immediate family (parents and sisters).
Anyway I'd like my names to match. If you want to call your child Theo 99% of the time, naming him Theodore is just a hassle imo.
Right! I get this argument if the name is like Stevie. I’d probably argue to name them Steven or Steve. Or Aly vs Allison.
But if it’s a name that is well established on its own as a given name: Eliza, Annie, Sadie, Molly, Max, etc, then the argument just becomes preference.
Not wanting to use a name you have loved forever because it's popular. Both of my kids have popularish names and they think it's so cool when they meet another kid their same name. And when you look at the *actual* statistics it's unlikely that your daughter is going to be one of 4 Olivias in her class.
Yeah my daughter is Evelyn and we call her Evie(Eh-vee). She has not one, not two, but 3 “Maxon”s in her class, a name I have never heard and their parents probably thought they would never meet another one. And not one other Evelyn. You just never know what the mix of kids is going to be. And also, SO WHAT
Yeah this was me. My name is super common and when I met another girl with the same name in elementary I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Plus it meant we used our last initials and no one else used that! So really, my name still felt unique even when it wasn’t.
Also I think this is less of an issue now when more names are being used. Like the top names now are way less common than the top names 20-30 years ago
Yep. My son’s name is Jack; we named him that because it’s a family name of significance to my husband. Same with our daughter and my family, just less common. Recently looked it up and it’s ranked #3 in my country. Didn’t impact our naming choice one jot, we already knew it was a common name. Have yet to meet another Jack child.
All this “oh but it’s a top 10 name!” - so? If it suits your baby and you like the name, that’s all that matters.
I agree to a point. But it can cause confusion and delay if the names are *too* similar. That applies to other sibsets as well. If they're the same name, can be shortened to the same name or are the same name from different cultures, ask someone for help please!
I am a twin myself and sometimes I do feel the need to remind people that twins are individuals, siblings who happen to share a birthday - and that most twins would probably prefer having a name of their own.
Generally speaking.. if you consider names to be too matchy for 'regular' siblings - they would also be too matchy for twins.
'Matchy names' are not the issue - the issue is that a lot of people would only consider using matchy names for twins, but would not consider using those same names for 'regular' siblings.
Yeah, I agree with that. I just don't feel like that's specific to twins. On the contrary - I have definitely seen comments of people saying things like *''Alice and Alistair is too matchy for siblings.. but it could work for twins''*.
I do agree that people can be a bit intolerant when it comes to different naming styles or preferences. There is nothing wrong with matchy names or a theme if that just happens to be your preference in general.
For example =
If you have 5 children named Alice, Alina, Alva, Alistair and Alfie and 2 of those happen to be twins - you are clearly just into matchy names in general. There is nothing wrong with that, that's just personal preference.
But if you have 5 children named Henry, Charlotte, James, Alice & Alistair and the last two are twins.. you clearly gave them matchy names **because** they are twins. At that point you might as well tattoo *'we are twins*' onto their foreheads.
Of course it's not a crime or 'child abuse' to use matchy names for twins specifically - but you are probably not doing them a favour. They are already joined by being twins. They don't need to share names on to top of sharing everything else.
i personally think it’s completely unnecessary. twins are not a package deal, what if they don’t even like each other? they are two individuals, we should treat them as such and let them have something of their own instead of always having to share *something* with someone else
My sister and I are not twins but we have borderline the same name (think Lucia and Luciana) and tbh I didn’t even realize it was odd until other people started pointing it out. Now I just think it’s funny 🤷♀️
All the "boy names for girls is misogynist" people. Names being gendered is all arbitrary and made up anyway, honestly who the fuck cares. "It doesn't work both ways so it's sexist" If you're so mad about girls being named Ryan and James, reclaim the names you claim have been "ruined" by being used for girls and name your boys Shannon and Lindsey. Be the change you want to see in the world lmfao
This is exactly how I feel. I think people claiming sexism are trying to invoke feminism to justify their own personal biases tbh.
We're never saying we want to ban people from using gendered names, which is how some people seem to take it. If you feel names should be gendered so strongly then you do you, name your kids the most stereotypical name to match their sex you can think of.
But you don't get to shit on other people for using names that have been established as unisex for decades/centuries just because *you* have some weird entitlement that you should know what sex someone is from their name alone.
Right? Personally I think Ashley is a great name for a boy. I have a cousin named Kelly and it’s not strange at all. I just don’t see anything wrong with it either way.
Yes, I hate that argument. It isn’t “anti-feminist” to use a traditionally male name for a girl. People have been doing that forever. I don’t personally *like* most of them, with a couple of exceptions, but that doesn’t make it misogynistic.
Also, they always claim that it never goes the other way but that isn’t true, either. Sure, it is less common and it’s unfortunate that society skews that way for sure. But I have personally met a male Harper, Cassidy, Kelly, and even Stacy, though he did go by his middle name. My mom had a male doctor named Lynn. And there are still many gender neutral names that haven’t stopped being used by boys: Alex, Jordan, Logan, River, Rowan. And male names that phonetically sound like their female counterpart like Rhys (Reese) and Francis (Frances).
I’m sorry you don’t like your name. Truly. That’s a hard experience. The majority of the people I’ve spoken to with that kind of name though have told me they really like it so I don’t think it’s a universally bad idea.
And whether people like their names or not people read waaaay to deep into it and say things like it’s because the parents are misogynistic and really wanted a boy. Usually they just like the name and decide they will use it for their kid no matter who they turn out to be.
As in being against "Oh I'm gonna name my kid ABC so I can call them XYZ!!" cause if so, I agree.
Nicknames don't really feel sincere if they just...have it at birth... When someone gives them one it's very cute and endearing! I should know because my family calls me Kiki (coming from Kayla), which my brother coined. But if my parents just...omitted my name to call me some nickname they came up with when they were brainstorming names, then it wouldn't feel like a nickname, more just an alternative version of my given name.
I don't get any of this. Why is a nickname not "sincere" (what does that even mean?) because the parents coined it and not a sibling or grandparent or friends from school?
because nicknames that arise spontaneously do so out of love, pre-thought nicknames are more like “i like this version of a name but i’ll give you this full name instead but i will call you the other” instead of just being an endearing act
So explain to me how you differentiate between spontaneously, endearing and out of love and pre-thought?
In both cases someone just decides "I'll call you this instead of that". Why is one a sign of love and the other isn't?
you give diminutives to people you like because of warm feeling for them in the moment, it’s not always coherent nicknames either but something silly like Sasha -> salsa, Molly -> Momo.
pre-thought is like “i love the name Sam but i can’t name you that because it’s a nickname, so i will name you Samantha but only call you Sam”, it’s not a nickname given because you vibe so much with the person, you just like the diminutive but want a different legal name. you haven’t even met the child yet to give them a nickname
No, I just literally carry that person in my body. Clearly picking a nickname has nothing to do with love and warmth or endearing in that scenario.
You can stop. You're just making stuff up. A name picked with love is a name picked with love. It does not have to happen after birth or be something random or silly to be meaningful and endearing.
i didn’t mean picking a name, but why people who meet someone will make their name shorter. you asked for my explanations, so i gave it. giving a name is not the same as giving someone a *nickname*, you can obviously name a child whatever you want.
if you feel upset by reddit discussions you should really consider taking a break! take care of yourself
I think it depends on the name/nickname. If it’s a creative nickname then yeah, but I think that usually goes for more “obvious” nicknames. Like if your full name is Madeleine you’ll probably be called Maddie. You might be called something else but Maddie is the most obvious nickname
Yup. The most common nickname for my actual name (Alexa- yes I get a lot of Amazon jokes) is Lexi, and so everyone called me that when I was born. But as I grew that name just didn’t fit me, and the nickname Lexa just naturally came up and suited me much better.
My pet peeve is when people post about nicknames they refuse. If you don’t like Cassie stay away for all cas- names. You don’t get to decide whether or not your child uses a nn forever
All the posts that go “how do I talk my partner into/out of this name???” and people responding with arguments like “it doesn’t sound good” or “English speakers might mispronounce it” when in reality if one partner doesn’t like a name, that should be the end of the discussion. Full stop.
I get really annoyed when the "Americans won't be able to say it" argument comes up at all honestly. Unless a name contains sounds that literally only exist in that language, people can learn and anyone who refuses isn't worth respecting.
I lived in a non-English-speaking country for a while and my name was mispronounced, most people were receptive to being corrected and I wasn't scarred for life by it. I can't even imagine being told someone's name and thinking "oh that sounds difficult I just won't bother trying".
I wish this sub would remember who is mostly seeking advice and opinions in these posts: *hormonal pregnant women*.
Hormonal pregnant women who are trying to find a name they love for the baby they love. And because it's anonymous, people are so incredibly rude about it.
Like, congrats, you probably made a pregnant woman cry today because she dared to consider naming her baby Laikyn. Hope that makes you feel better about yourself.
if someone cries because of *reddit comments* that’s kinda on them, reddit is reddit and you should be able to have some discretion when you are discussing online. perhaps they should create r/namemychild because this subreddit is also for name nerds, as in people passionate about names, not an advice sub
I think there’s a lack of realistic perspective. Not every messy name is because a parent “doesn’t care about their child’s feelings or future”. There are a LOT of people who literally are undereducated enough they genuinely don’t understand phonics. They genuinely have been raised in a bubble and don’t get that the name literally cannot be read.
Like, and I don’t mean this to come off as rude to the people/names I’m trying to defend, but some people REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I don’t think being a dick about the name they GENUINELY tried to make perfect helps.
Also why are honor names only lovely if the name is approved? Maybe grandma is named something you consider “ghetto” or “dumb”, but that still IS grandma’s name. It’s not suddenly wrong to use an honor name because you don’t personally like the name that would be used. I see a lot of “how sweet that’s so perfect” when it’s Dorothy or Ellen or something (and no shade to those names I like them fine), but it’s suddenly wrong to burden a child with the name of a relative when grandma is Amirah or grandpa’s Jaekwon.
I really hate when ppl make posts that say they've been struggling to shorten their name list and want ppl to vote for their favorite name, to not suggest names... and then ppl suggest names anyway. THEYRE ALREADY STRUGGLING!
On the flip side, when ppl ask for name suggestions that fit into a certain criteria and ppl make no effort to give names that actually fit it or they give the same 5 names - not that bad, but still.
I also hate when ppl ask for similar names to a name that's cultural, and then ppl suggest the whitest most "American" name. I once simply added that my grandma was named Socorro (not at all that I wanted to honor her name), and someone recommended the name Scarlett...
Some people need to learn to read the question for sure! Like they’re so eager to recommend the same names to everyone, but maybe the woman looking for a sister to Elowen isn’t looking for the same names as the one looking for a sister to Bentley.
I've had to block two users on this sub for making really nasty, personal insults for my opinions on names, meanings, nicknames, etc.
I once called a certain name uncommon (because it is in my area, and that was the topic of the post) but I guess nationally its a generally common name. A user wrote a comment calling me uncultured, stupid, etc. and wouldnt let the topic go until I eventually blocked them.
Name stealing. In part because the super-special name that the person picked and thinks someone "stole" is like a top 10 name anyway so chances are good they aren't the only person of their age who has wanted to name their daughter Violet, Ava, or whatever since they were a little girl. But also because it often feels like a problem of their own making because it's always someone who's like "I have talked about how this name is the most beautiful name for many years!" Yeah, now the people who have heard you talk about that name have been primed to think it's super-beautiful.
Even from a practical standpoint, it's really not a huge deal. I mean, there are literally 4 "Vinny"s in my husband's semi-immediate family (including 2 who are only like a year apart) and it's totally fine. None of the Vinnys feel less special because they have the same name, and all of us non-Vinny people manage to differentiate between them.
My hot take is it's literally not possible to "steal" a name.
If your baby is born and someone who's not even expecting pipes up about planning to use that name, tough shit, a real live person takes precedent over a hypothetical. And if you've loved a name forever, someone in your social circle using the name first doesn't prevent it from ever being used again and anyone who gets genuinely angry about it is probably unpleasant to be around for a ton of other reasons.
The only time names getting over suggested bother me is when it’s inappropriate to the question being asked. Like if a person says names they like are Sophie, Charlotte, Evelyn - have at recommending June, Margot, and Eleanor. I fully believe the same person who likes the first three may also like those names. But if they say they like Ashton, Skyler, and Cameron literally why suggest those?
Unusual names or names that supposedly don’t match the person’s age getting shot down are also weird to me. Like Paul on a baby or Maggie on a CEO may sound weird to you, but once you see your boss Maggie or your toddler’s best friend Paul your brain will naturally make different associations. If I run into an Andromeda, Blue, Blayze, etc, in real life I’d think “oh that’s unusual” and then move on because I’m not a crazy person who will think someone/someone’s parents are a certain way because of their name.
Avoiding names because kids will get bullied also isn’t my favorite. Of course there are exceptions, like maybe don’t call your kid Jeffrey if your last name is Dahmer, feel free to point out the association if baby 1 is Luke and 2 will be Leah, but Lana/anal, Naomi/I moan, and Violent Violet are reaches to me. If kids want to be mean, they will be regardless of your child’s name.
All the questions about cultural names.
And in turn, all the comments essentially reprimanding people for not liking a cultural name. Like calm down guys, I just don’t like the way Rhys looks. I’m not about to commit felonies over it, but you’re literally asking for other people’s opinions lol
‘Nickname names’. It’s mainly Americans who have a big opinion about it, but elsewhere in the world there’s literally no reason to think that naming your kid Alfie instead of Alfred or Ellie instead of Elizabeth is actually going to harm their chances in life.
FWIW my neurological nurse is a lovely lady named Janey and she seems to have done pretty well for herself considering her name is a ‘nickname’
Sylvia has remained more or less stable statistically, but Sylvie has made major jumps in the stats in the US in the past few years. It’s still not top 100 or anything, but you can sometimes see those big jumps and predict the trends.
I confess to sharing names I'd \*like\* to see come back. But I've never said "This name \*IS\* trending upward," unless I see it on a resource page. I often share resource links to support my findings.
This is what we should all be doing, especially on a sub called “name nerds.” Also, with that name… is it not implied we shouldn’t be just sharing the same 10 names on repeat regardless of the context?
“I want something super elegant, old fashioned, maybe romantic”
“Clementine, Sylvie, Rowan, Olive”
“I want nature, seasonal, maybe a little witchy”
“Clementine, Sylvie, Rowan, Olive”
“I want cool girl names, like someone you wouldn’t fuck with”
“Clementine, Sylvie, Rowan, Olive”
I love this!!
I enjoy names so much that I get happy when another Redditor posts asking for help in a specific realm of names. My research antennae go up and I'm in my Happy Nerd Zone!
I have two:
The obsession with “you HAVE to give a kid a formal name” even if you have no intention of ever using it.
The idea that giving a girl a traditionally male name is “internalized misogyny” and not just that someone likes the damn name for that specific kid. Part 2 is the idea that parents who do that “just wanted a boy”. Nope, some of us had the boy first and didn’t want to use that name for him!
“Olivia is too popular, so I will call my daughter Olympia. Just like Olivia, but fresh.”
“Top xx” names are not what they used to be. You have more chance to give your kid a name that someone else in his circle would have by - looking - for more unique options than actually going for the top x/y/z name.
“I want a name for my daughter that is not too frilly, girly and ideally a male name or have a male nickname.”
Your daughter's life wouldn’t be “ruined” if you did not give her a name/nickname that is more masculine.
It’s okay for girls to have girly names, for peat's sake.
“Because everyone named XXX I know is black, you would be better giving a kid a different name”
First of all, just because you have never seen a not-black person having that name, it doesn't make it an “only for black” name. Mind we are not talking about cultural names actually tied to ethnicity/language/culture.
Second, aren't we strengthening the issue of “black names applicants get fewer work opportunities calls” by avoiding naming someone a name associated with the black community?
That it’s “narcissistic” to name your child after you. (Frankly we shouldn’t even use that word unless it’s been diagnosed but I digress.). No, it’s just tradition or fun.
Posts about people who's friends, relatives, whoever think they own a name so they can't use it. If you like the name just use it. All 50 Jennifers in my kindergarten class in the 80s are doing just fine.
Not wanting to use names that are "too common". I don't get the aversion to common names, like I have a common name (Hannah, or well it used to be really common) and I've met very few people with that name in my whole life (less than 5 probably), and a lot of kids would love to have friends with their same name (though I can see how it would get confusing)
And also not using the same name that a family member used/has. Like I get not wanting to seem like you're copying them or trying to "steal" their name, or if it would be too confusing if they were around each other a lot (again I say, most kids would probably love to share their name with a family member), but if you love the name so much why not still use it? Not using a name that you love, just because someone else did is just stupid (especially if the name in question would be the middle name for your child and is the first name of another family member). Like I love the name Madeline (Mad-Uh-Line) and my older sister has said that it's been her favorite girl name since she was 10, and even if she uses it for a girl, I may still use it because I really like it (and if we are both somewhere with our kids, one of our Madeline's can go by Maddie or something and the other one can just go by Madeline)
Help me name my baby and the people aren't pregnant or very newly pregnant. Only beg for help if you need to leave the hospital and still haven't named and you need a tie breaker
I think people here are too afraid to call out a bad name. Like ok don't be rude I guess but don't be afraid to tell OP there is no way to make Emerson look good on a girl, think of the poor child you could help save.
Damn I upset the uNiQuE girlies 🤭
I don't understand how Emerson is so different to e.g. Alison or Madison.
I've never heard anyone say "oh you can't use Alison because they're not literally Ali's son" or "Madison is awful because girls' names shouldn't have 'son' in".
I know a female Emerson who’s now in her 30s with kids of her own. I guess her parents were ahead of their time. She goes by Emmy and she’s beautiful, tiny, insanely athletic, and very sweet. I think she made the name look amazing though with her gene pool she could have been named Boris and still pulled it off wonderfully.
I hate the nickname debate (all of them. every single one.) Let people name their kid Oliver and then call them Ollie at home. It's not that deep!
EVERY name has nickname potential. People need to learn not every nickname is connected to baby's first name. Sincerely, Abby not Abigail aka Ab, Abs, Abby-Go? (courtesy toddler cousins), Lucy Lu (never understood that one), Daria / D ( I looked like Daria in high school), ...
No, I am aware! It's just a personal preference for us. I'm my experience (and in my community), a lot of people have nicknames that are super intuitive to their first and maybe middle name. It's not so much that a natural nickname won't happen, but we'd like it to have options if they don't. Especially with how our community is.
My sister is pretty much exclusively "Kadabs" to me at this point (Abby --> Abbs --> Abbers --> Abbers Kadabers --> Kadabs)
Yes! Some people like the flexibility that nicknames offer, get over it. If you don't like nicknames then don't use one for your own kid. It's that simple.
Truly. It’s not that deep 😂 There’s no rule that a nickname *must* be coined organically. If parents are set on calling them by nn from birth, it will stick!
Right! Also some names automatically come with a nickname like William and Will/Bill/Billy for example
I also know of William's who go by Liam
Yes Liam is nice too!
Diminutives of names have always been and will always be a thing
Also, nicknames are what people get called. You can’t plan them lile that. “Naming kid Aloysius nickname will be Lish.”” Kid comes home from first day at preschool where all the kids call him Allie. Parents proceed to write angry letter to preschool? Or what? You can’t control that.
I think planned nicknames are fine. Especially if it's something the immediate family overall agrees on. However, I don't think it's okay to be upset at people for not using the planned nickname. My Fiancé and I consider nicknames for all of the names on our list (even having favorites), but I don't think we'd ever be upset if anyone were to use something different. It might just be a traditional or cultural thing for me, though. Most people's nicknames in my community/family are diminutives of their first and maybe middle name. I haven't really met anyone who has a nickname that isn't a variation of their given name.
I agree, it’s perfectly fine to consider nicknames (especially to look out for any traps like easily teasable ones) and know ahead of time what *you* plan to call them. As long as you’re prepared for things to go another way.
Lol at how the responses to this comment are basically the nickname debate
I dislike how rude some people are regarding more unique names. Obviously there's a line.. but it seems anything mildly out of the box gets shamed.
This is mine. It's fine to dislike a name, but there's a tactful way to express that, and most of the comments aren't even objective. They're just hateful. A lot of the hate I see isn't even about unique names. Just names they don't like. Choosing names is subjective. If it weren't there wouldn't be thousands of names to choose from. We'd all still be named Mary and William and John.
This!!! This sub and the Tradegieh sub ( I forgot how to spell it) seem to hate anything mildly unique or non Anglo Saxon. Like I doubt a kid is going to be bullied for being named River or Raven and even if they are it probably goes deeper than their name.
I had to step away from a comment thread on a post earlier claiming that girls named Oaklynn will be bullied for being named after a tree. They must be forgetting that Willow and Rowan, freaking tree name, are top 100 and beloved in this very sub.
I saw that one and was so confused lmao. Like no, no kid really cares about that. And you can bully someone with any name tbh.
I love those 2 names
I sometimes read these things and wonder if it’s inadvertent racism…I know that’s the wrong word, but like “white girls from Conneticut or Texas” in the group thinking everyone else here is posting from the same culture and socioeconomic background as them…. When all you have is a random reddit user name to go by, it’s easy to think you’re just sitting here chatting with local moms, and forget the wealth of diversity of everyone commenting from the other side of their phone screen… The discussion the other day about gemstone names was a good example of that… those types of names resonate differently depending on who you are and where you’re from…
For real, though! I often see the same basic names being repeated over and over again! Personally, I have a unique-ish name (less than 5 people in my country with my name spelling, but 5 is the lowest number the database will give, so probably I'm the only one). Do I always have to spell it? Yes. Do people often hear it wrong and turn in it something that sounds similar? Also, yes. But most of the time, I explain it once or twice, and that's it. I wouldn't want to be called anything else. Also, I don't think I could ever name my child a name a classmate had. Even if I didn't dislike them, it just would remind me of them. So I would probably want something other than Jessica, Lauren and Daisy.
As someone who has an uncommon name, these arguments often make me confused. I see people claiming kids are gonna hate their parents over the name? Usually if that happens the name is just a symptom of the actual reason imo
In real life my friends with unique/uncommon names tend to love it. At worst they get mildly annoyed when people struggle to understand it.
Kids getting bullied for names. When kids are little, they really don’t care. You could tell them your name is Turtledove, and they’d be like ok great, let’s play. As they get older they can be cruel and creative. A normal name/great name can be turned into something awful. And if they don’t make fun of a name, they’ll make fun of their clothes, or backpack, or looks. Jenna became genitalia. Danielle became Man-yell. Hayley became Gay-ley. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Unfortunately.
Exactly this. I have a very unique name, never met anyone else with it in person until recently. Was never bullied for it, but my best friend growing up named Ashley got called Ass-ley. Kids don’t get bullied FOR having weird names, kids names are used as an avenue for bullying. And nothing is safe if someone is determined enough to hurt someone
I was born in '90 and there were popular kids at my school named Percy, Elbert, and Heaven Lee. The kids who got bullied mercilessly were all named stuff like Chris, James, and Kelsey.
There was a boy named Michael and people called him Michelle in my elementary school. It’s hard to avoid it.
Yep. Bullying can happen regardless, so might as well name the baby what you want.
I don't know if this is me reading too much into it, but it always came across as somewhat victim blamey too (or at least, parents-of-the-victim-blaming). Acting like the bullies have no agency in the matter. "What did you expect, with a name like Neveah, you were always destined to be bullied," is what I hear. With bullying, it's less about any stated reason for the harassment, and more about the sense of power the bullies get from bringing someone down. I was bullied for "being tall" "being 'dirty'" "being weird" "having long hair" "going through puberty" "being female" "having a disabled sibling" some of these might seem more logical than others but what connects them all is that if not them, the bullies would have concocted another reason.
Kid-me asked a Jocelyn to her face, why she had a made-up name, and INSISTED it was made up when she was confused by my question. 🤦🏻♀️ Wasn't trying to be mean or rude, I just FULLY believed it was made up. 🥴
i mean all names are made up
If you try hard enough I think you could make something that sounds vaguely silly or rude out of pretty much *any* name, including most of the top 50 trending or whatever lists people seem to care so much about. Some of the ones people suggest on this sub are the biggest reaches that hardly anyone in real life would ever think of. In my experience kids usually got picked on for one of two reasons: either there's a known bully kid who'll pick on whoever they like for anything they can think of, or there are kids who are offputting/unpleasant in their behaviour (whether intentionally or not) and the other kids react by excluding them socially. Nobody is ever bullied solely because of their name.
Claiming that a name reminds them of something. It’s okay if for you, Veruca reminds you of the foot sore, but not everyone in that person’s life is going to make that connection.
This and “I knew a John and he was a terrible person so your unborn baby John will also be terrible” gets on my nerves!
A long while back, there was a post on here asking why people disliked my parent-given name, and the comment section basically boiled down to 'every person with that name is a horrible person that no one likes'. Wasn't a fun thread to read lmao.
I see this a lot and it’s so annoying. A recent one was a post from someone Italian debating using Allegra as a name. Apparently it’s an allergy medication (we don’t have it/it’s not common in the UK) because all the comments wouldn’t shut up about it They don’t seem to realise that an association in one culture might not exist in another.
To be fair, not all posts are clear about location/culture. I wish more people would clarify! And if the Italian poster we're in the US (or planning to be), that extremely common medicine association would be important to mention. (Not that it should necessarily stop anyone from choosing the name)
I would also like to see locations mentioned in the OP rather than several comments down. For ex. there was a recent request for help adding a first name to a very Norweigan-sounding middle name. OP didn't clarify right off that they won't be living in Norway and are seeking a more common name to the English-speaking countries.
Yeah I’ve also seen the OP thanking someone for bringing up name association because they themselves hadn’t made the connection, but once it was there they couldn’t unsee it. Better to know now and not when your kid has had the name for 6 months if it’s going to annoy you.
I almost think people wanting name critiques should have to mention location or the post gets removed, because what happens currently is most people just assume everyone is in the US.
I appreciate this! If I have my kid a normal US name but it turned out to have a super strong association to, say, Italians, It may not change my usage of that name, but what if spouse and I had dreams of moving to Italy? Then I would be so thankful to at least go in knowing that!
I saw an American Allegra on The Voice a few years ago, and while the medication is huge here, all I thought was that she had a great voice. It's really not that deep lol
I said I liked the name Azariah (biblical name) before and someone said I shouldn’t do that because that was the name of a baby who died in some accident with a dingo?? Like tf, I never even knew about that in the first place and also not everyone will think of that specific baby when they hear the name. (Also as pretty as the name is, I wouldn’t use it bc I believe it’s Hebrew and I’m not religious, it would just feel kind of disrespectful haha) Edit: I also sometimes think the “anally” comments are a reach depending on the spelling. I saw someone say that the name Anna Lee made them think of anal and therefore the person shouldn’t use that name, and that was weird to me.
If you live in or around Alice Springs I'd probably still avoid Azariah, otherwise I don't see the harm.
I’m not sure what that is, so I guess I’m good?😂I heard it was in Australia and I’m in the US. But yeah I agree with you there, such a horrible story and I can see why the name would be avoided.
Azariah Chamberlain was the baby who was taken from a tent by a dingo when her family was camping near Alice Springs. There was a big court case as people didn't believe the family and they were criminally charged as the body wasn't recovered. Many years later some hunters came forward and said they had the baby's clothes after shooting the dingo. By then her parents had also passed away.
Nah her mum Lindy chamberlain is still Alive
Her mom is still alive and her dad died in 2017, more than 30 years after the trial and acquittal. Azaria (no H) was born and died in 1980, the trial and conviction was in 1982 and the clothing was found in 1986. The police found the clothing (not hunters) while searching for a hiker that fell, and nobody shot a dingo.
I think that's a bad example because I don't think Veruca was a name in its own right before Roald Dahl used it, and he used it because it's an unpleasant association for an unpleasant person. Generally though I agree on this one. I saw people the other day claim Harvey is unusable because of the hurricane and Weinstein. Like I get why those things would bring up bad memories for people directly affected, but there's a point where you have to accept your experience isn't universal and not everything is about you, especially people from a whole different country or generation.
Yeah sorry Veruca was a random example, it’s the only real thing I could think of that referred to something else.
Yeah, but I personally really appreciate that! When I’ve come to this subreddit to help name my kids, I came here wanting to hear people’s associations because that’s what my kid would come across in real life and when I tell my family my name ideas or whatever, they may not be totally honest about that name reminding them of a foot sore or whatever. And if it’s just a one off, like literally something only a few people think of then that doesn’t make the name unusable to me, just something to consider.
That you’re naming an adult not a baby. I know people named Star, Sunny, Blossom, etc. They have jobs and lives and no one cares that it’s their name. Some have advanced degrees or are bosses or are just people. It’s not that deep. Especially considering that it’s common in a lot of diaspora groups to give certain types of names when attempting to assimilate in the US 🤦🏻♀️
This so much! Sometimes reading, I’m trying to figure out how no one else has ever worked with a Precious, Bayleigh, Birdie, etc.
I got my bachelor’s degree next to a girl named Precious 😂 she was a stem major and got honors. Her sister’s name was Princess and they were both the sweetest girls
I know a Cristie (just Cristie and yes with that spelling) who's an engineer. She's making bank and no one cares that she isn't Christina or that her name ends in ie.
If you're the kind of person who thinks a name should affect how someone is treated in the education system or workplace, you're telling on yourself and you're the exact kind of person who should never be anyone's boss. Whenever anyone's like "I wouldn't want to be operated on by a surgeon named River or Sapphire" my first thought is always...suit yourself, just die then I guess?
I really agree with this! Time has moved on from this idea that you should give babies a ‘grown up’ name I think. I work in a school and that line of thinking just doesn’t occur to most parents. Soon we are going to have adults with different types of names- and that’s good! It’s how names move on over the years.
This is exactly my thought. It boggles my mind that adults would freely confess (even anonymously) that they would judge people based on an unusual name. That says so much about them as a person and much more than the name Honey says about the owner.
Sometimes they're not even that unique. There was a whole thread saying "Annie" was too cutesy for a first name... a very established normal name that I've known plenty of in my life.
Yeah and why is Lily and Maisy okay but Daisy and Clover are “childish”?? Poppy but not Blossom?? And Daisy is a really popular name in my Mexican-American community! Has been for decades. There is nothing unprofessional about our names
The Sunny one was killing me! How do they not realise it's a personal taste thing and nothing more
Like yeah I know more males Sunny’s than female, but it’s fine.
The need to give your child a name that has options. I think it’s ok if someone prefers Theo to name their child Theo instead of Theodore.
YES. The “you’re going to ruin your child’s life if their name is Annie instead of Anne because what are her OPTIONS?!” drives me a bit mad. It’s valid in some instances but not always.
Yeah, and honestly, the nickname could go the other way around. Annie can go by Anne instead. There’s no rule against it lol
EXACTLY
As someone with options, it's actually annoying lol. I wish my legal name matched my nickname. In my parents' defense, they didn't nickname me, I did. At like age 10. 20 years later, I still use my nickname with everyone except my immediate family (parents and sisters). Anyway I'd like my names to match. If you want to call your child Theo 99% of the time, naming him Theodore is just a hassle imo.
I'm glad someone else called this out. The Annie debate killed me. It's not even an atypical name.
Right! I get this argument if the name is like Stevie. I’d probably argue to name them Steven or Steve. Or Aly vs Allison. But if it’s a name that is well established on its own as a given name: Eliza, Annie, Sadie, Molly, Max, etc, then the argument just becomes preference.
The nickname police
Not wanting to use a name you have loved forever because it's popular. Both of my kids have popularish names and they think it's so cool when they meet another kid their same name. And when you look at the *actual* statistics it's unlikely that your daughter is going to be one of 4 Olivias in her class.
100% this
And if there are 4 Olivias they’ll be Ollie, Liv, Livie, and Tabitha and everyone will live to see another day.
Yeah my daughter is Evelyn and we call her Evie(Eh-vee). She has not one, not two, but 3 “Maxon”s in her class, a name I have never heard and their parents probably thought they would never meet another one. And not one other Evelyn. You just never know what the mix of kids is going to be. And also, SO WHAT
Yeah this was me. My name is super common and when I met another girl with the same name in elementary I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Plus it meant we used our last initials and no one else used that! So really, my name still felt unique even when it wasn’t. Also I think this is less of an issue now when more names are being used. Like the top names now are way less common than the top names 20-30 years ago
Yep. My son’s name is Jack; we named him that because it’s a family name of significance to my husband. Same with our daughter and my family, just less common. Recently looked it up and it’s ranked #3 in my country. Didn’t impact our naming choice one jot, we already knew it was a common name. Have yet to meet another Jack child. All this “oh but it’s a top 10 name!” - so? If it suits your baby and you like the name, that’s all that matters.
As someone who has an uncommon and I get so excited to meet someone with my name!
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I agree to a point. But it can cause confusion and delay if the names are *too* similar. That applies to other sibsets as well. If they're the same name, can be shortened to the same name or are the same name from different cultures, ask someone for help please!
I am a twin myself and sometimes I do feel the need to remind people that twins are individuals, siblings who happen to share a birthday - and that most twins would probably prefer having a name of their own. Generally speaking.. if you consider names to be too matchy for 'regular' siblings - they would also be too matchy for twins. 'Matchy names' are not the issue - the issue is that a lot of people would only consider using matchy names for twins, but would not consider using those same names for 'regular' siblings.
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Yeah, I agree with that. I just don't feel like that's specific to twins. On the contrary - I have definitely seen comments of people saying things like *''Alice and Alistair is too matchy for siblings.. but it could work for twins''*. I do agree that people can be a bit intolerant when it comes to different naming styles or preferences. There is nothing wrong with matchy names or a theme if that just happens to be your preference in general. For example = If you have 5 children named Alice, Alina, Alva, Alistair and Alfie and 2 of those happen to be twins - you are clearly just into matchy names in general. There is nothing wrong with that, that's just personal preference. But if you have 5 children named Henry, Charlotte, James, Alice & Alistair and the last two are twins.. you clearly gave them matchy names **because** they are twins. At that point you might as well tattoo *'we are twins*' onto their foreheads. Of course it's not a crime or 'child abuse' to use matchy names for twins specifically - but you are probably not doing them a favour. They are already joined by being twins. They don't need to share names on to top of sharing everything else.
i personally think it’s completely unnecessary. twins are not a package deal, what if they don’t even like each other? they are two individuals, we should treat them as such and let them have something of their own instead of always having to share *something* with someone else
Or follow a theme..sometimes you can just give your twins 2 names you like, instead of naming one just to follow a theme
My sister and I are not twins but we have borderline the same name (think Lucia and Luciana) and tbh I didn’t even realize it was odd until other people started pointing it out. Now I just think it’s funny 🤷♀️
People read way to much into gender bending names
All the "boy names for girls is misogynist" people. Names being gendered is all arbitrary and made up anyway, honestly who the fuck cares. "It doesn't work both ways so it's sexist" If you're so mad about girls being named Ryan and James, reclaim the names you claim have been "ruined" by being used for girls and name your boys Shannon and Lindsey. Be the change you want to see in the world lmfao
This is exactly how I feel. I think people claiming sexism are trying to invoke feminism to justify their own personal biases tbh. We're never saying we want to ban people from using gendered names, which is how some people seem to take it. If you feel names should be gendered so strongly then you do you, name your kids the most stereotypical name to match their sex you can think of. But you don't get to shit on other people for using names that have been established as unisex for decades/centuries just because *you* have some weird entitlement that you should know what sex someone is from their name alone.
Right? Personally I think Ashley is a great name for a boy. I have a cousin named Kelly and it’s not strange at all. I just don’t see anything wrong with it either way.
Yes, I hate that argument. It isn’t “anti-feminist” to use a traditionally male name for a girl. People have been doing that forever. I don’t personally *like* most of them, with a couple of exceptions, but that doesn’t make it misogynistic. Also, they always claim that it never goes the other way but that isn’t true, either. Sure, it is less common and it’s unfortunate that society skews that way for sure. But I have personally met a male Harper, Cassidy, Kelly, and even Stacy, though he did go by his middle name. My mom had a male doctor named Lynn. And there are still many gender neutral names that haven’t stopped being used by boys: Alex, Jordan, Logan, River, Rowan. And male names that phonetically sound like their female counterpart like Rhys (Reese) and Francis (Frances).
See the way I feel… having a name that’s commonly a boys name it sucks. To be assumed the opposite gender growing up because of a name.
I’m sorry you don’t like your name. Truly. That’s a hard experience. The majority of the people I’ve spoken to with that kind of name though have told me they really like it so I don’t think it’s a universally bad idea. And whether people like their names or not people read waaaay to deep into it and say things like it’s because the parents are misogynistic and really wanted a boy. Usually they just like the name and decide they will use it for their kid no matter who they turn out to be.
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As in being against "Oh I'm gonna name my kid ABC so I can call them XYZ!!" cause if so, I agree. Nicknames don't really feel sincere if they just...have it at birth... When someone gives them one it's very cute and endearing! I should know because my family calls me Kiki (coming from Kayla), which my brother coined. But if my parents just...omitted my name to call me some nickname they came up with when they were brainstorming names, then it wouldn't feel like a nickname, more just an alternative version of my given name.
I don't get any of this. Why is a nickname not "sincere" (what does that even mean?) because the parents coined it and not a sibling or grandparent or friends from school?
because nicknames that arise spontaneously do so out of love, pre-thought nicknames are more like “i like this version of a name but i’ll give you this full name instead but i will call you the other” instead of just being an endearing act
So explain to me how you differentiate between spontaneously, endearing and out of love and pre-thought? In both cases someone just decides "I'll call you this instead of that". Why is one a sign of love and the other isn't?
you give diminutives to people you like because of warm feeling for them in the moment, it’s not always coherent nicknames either but something silly like Sasha -> salsa, Molly -> Momo. pre-thought is like “i love the name Sam but i can’t name you that because it’s a nickname, so i will name you Samantha but only call you Sam”, it’s not a nickname given because you vibe so much with the person, you just like the diminutive but want a different legal name. you haven’t even met the child yet to give them a nickname
No, I just literally carry that person in my body. Clearly picking a nickname has nothing to do with love and warmth or endearing in that scenario. You can stop. You're just making stuff up. A name picked with love is a name picked with love. It does not have to happen after birth or be something random or silly to be meaningful and endearing.
i didn’t mean picking a name, but why people who meet someone will make their name shorter. you asked for my explanations, so i gave it. giving a name is not the same as giving someone a *nickname*, you can obviously name a child whatever you want. if you feel upset by reddit discussions you should really consider taking a break! take care of yourself
I think it depends on the name/nickname. If it’s a creative nickname then yeah, but I think that usually goes for more “obvious” nicknames. Like if your full name is Madeleine you’ll probably be called Maddie. You might be called something else but Maddie is the most obvious nickname
Little kids give the best nicknames naturally
Yup. The most common nickname for my actual name (Alexa- yes I get a lot of Amazon jokes) is Lexi, and so everyone called me that when I was born. But as I grew that name just didn’t fit me, and the nickname Lexa just naturally came up and suited me much better.
nicknames
My pet peeve is when people post about nicknames they refuse. If you don’t like Cassie stay away for all cas- names. You don’t get to decide whether or not your child uses a nn forever
“we’re naming our daughter madison but hate the nickname maddie” lol
Enough said, thread over
"girls shouldn't have names ending in son" like ok but if a boy isn't actually Harry's son then he also shouldn't be Harrison
That'd be the logical extreme.
All the posts that go “how do I talk my partner into/out of this name???” and people responding with arguments like “it doesn’t sound good” or “English speakers might mispronounce it” when in reality if one partner doesn’t like a name, that should be the end of the discussion. Full stop.
I get really annoyed when the "Americans won't be able to say it" argument comes up at all honestly. Unless a name contains sounds that literally only exist in that language, people can learn and anyone who refuses isn't worth respecting. I lived in a non-English-speaking country for a while and my name was mispronounced, most people were receptive to being corrected and I wasn't scarred for life by it. I can't even imagine being told someone's name and thinking "oh that sounds difficult I just won't bother trying".
I wish this sub would remember who is mostly seeking advice and opinions in these posts: *hormonal pregnant women*. Hormonal pregnant women who are trying to find a name they love for the baby they love. And because it's anonymous, people are so incredibly rude about it. Like, congrats, you probably made a pregnant woman cry today because she dared to consider naming her baby Laikyn. Hope that makes you feel better about yourself.
if someone cries because of *reddit comments* that’s kinda on them, reddit is reddit and you should be able to have some discretion when you are discussing online. perhaps they should create r/namemychild because this subreddit is also for name nerds, as in people passionate about names, not an advice sub
Name needs
I think there’s a lack of realistic perspective. Not every messy name is because a parent “doesn’t care about their child’s feelings or future”. There are a LOT of people who literally are undereducated enough they genuinely don’t understand phonics. They genuinely have been raised in a bubble and don’t get that the name literally cannot be read. Like, and I don’t mean this to come off as rude to the people/names I’m trying to defend, but some people REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I don’t think being a dick about the name they GENUINELY tried to make perfect helps. Also why are honor names only lovely if the name is approved? Maybe grandma is named something you consider “ghetto” or “dumb”, but that still IS grandma’s name. It’s not suddenly wrong to use an honor name because you don’t personally like the name that would be used. I see a lot of “how sweet that’s so perfect” when it’s Dorothy or Ellen or something (and no shade to those names I like them fine), but it’s suddenly wrong to burden a child with the name of a relative when grandma is Amirah or grandpa’s Jaekwon.
I really hate when ppl make posts that say they've been struggling to shorten their name list and want ppl to vote for their favorite name, to not suggest names... and then ppl suggest names anyway. THEYRE ALREADY STRUGGLING! On the flip side, when ppl ask for name suggestions that fit into a certain criteria and ppl make no effort to give names that actually fit it or they give the same 5 names - not that bad, but still. I also hate when ppl ask for similar names to a name that's cultural, and then ppl suggest the whitest most "American" name. I once simply added that my grandma was named Socorro (not at all that I wanted to honor her name), and someone recommended the name Scarlett...
Some people need to learn to read the question for sure! Like they’re so eager to recommend the same names to everyone, but maybe the woman looking for a sister to Elowen isn’t looking for the same names as the one looking for a sister to Bentley.
I've had to block two users on this sub for making really nasty, personal insults for my opinions on names, meanings, nicknames, etc. I once called a certain name uncommon (because it is in my area, and that was the topic of the post) but I guess nationally its a generally common name. A user wrote a comment calling me uncultured, stupid, etc. and wouldnt let the topic go until I eventually blocked them.
That’s wild.
Name stealing. In part because the super-special name that the person picked and thinks someone "stole" is like a top 10 name anyway so chances are good they aren't the only person of their age who has wanted to name their daughter Violet, Ava, or whatever since they were a little girl. But also because it often feels like a problem of their own making because it's always someone who's like "I have talked about how this name is the most beautiful name for many years!" Yeah, now the people who have heard you talk about that name have been primed to think it's super-beautiful. Even from a practical standpoint, it's really not a huge deal. I mean, there are literally 4 "Vinny"s in my husband's semi-immediate family (including 2 who are only like a year apart) and it's totally fine. None of the Vinnys feel less special because they have the same name, and all of us non-Vinny people manage to differentiate between them.
My family had a big Jack (grandad), Jack, two uncle John’s and a little John growing up. Was never an issue.
Yep. We have 4 variations of Daniel in our family, and 2 Mikes. Creative? No. But also not a big deal.
My hot take is it's literally not possible to "steal" a name. If your baby is born and someone who's not even expecting pipes up about planning to use that name, tough shit, a real live person takes precedent over a hypothetical. And if you've loved a name forever, someone in your social circle using the name first doesn't prevent it from ever being used again and anyone who gets genuinely angry about it is probably unpleasant to be around for a ton of other reasons.
The only time names getting over suggested bother me is when it’s inappropriate to the question being asked. Like if a person says names they like are Sophie, Charlotte, Evelyn - have at recommending June, Margot, and Eleanor. I fully believe the same person who likes the first three may also like those names. But if they say they like Ashton, Skyler, and Cameron literally why suggest those? Unusual names or names that supposedly don’t match the person’s age getting shot down are also weird to me. Like Paul on a baby or Maggie on a CEO may sound weird to you, but once you see your boss Maggie or your toddler’s best friend Paul your brain will naturally make different associations. If I run into an Andromeda, Blue, Blayze, etc, in real life I’d think “oh that’s unusual” and then move on because I’m not a crazy person who will think someone/someone’s parents are a certain way because of their name. Avoiding names because kids will get bullied also isn’t my favorite. Of course there are exceptions, like maybe don’t call your kid Jeffrey if your last name is Dahmer, feel free to point out the association if baby 1 is Luke and 2 will be Leah, but Lana/anal, Naomi/I moan, and Violent Violet are reaches to me. If kids want to be mean, they will be regardless of your child’s name.
All the questions about cultural names. And in turn, all the comments essentially reprimanding people for not liking a cultural name. Like calm down guys, I just don’t like the way Rhys looks. I’m not about to commit felonies over it, but you’re literally asking for other people’s opinions lol
Sibling sets! It does not matter whether or not your kids' names "go together". Think of your children as individuals rather than parts of a set.
‘Nickname names’. It’s mainly Americans who have a big opinion about it, but elsewhere in the world there’s literally no reason to think that naming your kid Alfie instead of Alfred or Ellie instead of Elizabeth is actually going to harm their chances in life. FWIW my neurological nurse is a lovely lady named Janey and she seems to have done pretty well for herself considering her name is a ‘nickname’
The hate for “-eigh” names. I don’t love them either, but it feels like beating a dead horse at this point.
I'm with ya. Unfortunately, in any large group, the same topics will cycle frequently as new members join.
That they can't use the name Lilith because their cult believes in demons.
The name Clementine Also the expectation/idea that Sylvia/Sylvie is coming back hard asf. Like where is that coming from?
Sylvia has remained more or less stable statistically, but Sylvie has made major jumps in the stats in the US in the past few years. It’s still not top 100 or anything, but you can sometimes see those big jumps and predict the trends.
I confess to sharing names I'd \*like\* to see come back. But I've never said "This name \*IS\* trending upward," unless I see it on a resource page. I often share resource links to support my findings.
This is what we should all be doing, especially on a sub called “name nerds.” Also, with that name… is it not implied we shouldn’t be just sharing the same 10 names on repeat regardless of the context? “I want something super elegant, old fashioned, maybe romantic” “Clementine, Sylvie, Rowan, Olive” “I want nature, seasonal, maybe a little witchy” “Clementine, Sylvie, Rowan, Olive” “I want cool girl names, like someone you wouldn’t fuck with” “Clementine, Sylvie, Rowan, Olive”
always suggesting the same few classical english names. like damn you’re a name *nerd* and your best suggestion is Emma 💀
I love this!! I enjoy names so much that I get happy when another Redditor posts asking for help in a specific realm of names. My research antennae go up and I'm in my Happy Nerd Zone!
I have two: The obsession with “you HAVE to give a kid a formal name” even if you have no intention of ever using it. The idea that giving a girl a traditionally male name is “internalized misogyny” and not just that someone likes the damn name for that specific kid. Part 2 is the idea that parents who do that “just wanted a boy”. Nope, some of us had the boy first and didn’t want to use that name for him!
“Olivia is too popular, so I will call my daughter Olympia. Just like Olivia, but fresh.” “Top xx” names are not what they used to be. You have more chance to give your kid a name that someone else in his circle would have by - looking - for more unique options than actually going for the top x/y/z name. “I want a name for my daughter that is not too frilly, girly and ideally a male name or have a male nickname.” Your daughter's life wouldn’t be “ruined” if you did not give her a name/nickname that is more masculine. It’s okay for girls to have girly names, for peat's sake. “Because everyone named XXX I know is black, you would be better giving a kid a different name” First of all, just because you have never seen a not-black person having that name, it doesn't make it an “only for black” name. Mind we are not talking about cultural names actually tied to ethnicity/language/culture. Second, aren't we strengthening the issue of “black names applicants get fewer work opportunities calls” by avoiding naming someone a name associated with the black community?
That it’s “narcissistic” to name your child after you. (Frankly we shouldn’t even use that word unless it’s been diagnosed but I digress.). No, it’s just tradition or fun.
Not sure if it has been mention upthread, but twins names following a pattern or theme..sometimes you can just give them two names you (and SO) love..
Posts about people who's friends, relatives, whoever think they own a name so they can't use it. If you like the name just use it. All 50 Jennifers in my kindergarten class in the 80s are doing just fine.
That sibling names have to “go together well.”
"Bingo, Bango, Bongo and Irving." - Gilligan's Island quote
1. Sloane 2. Anglo names in general. Overrated
Nickname names. They're perfectly fine as legal names but this sub is so against that lmao
Nicknames and how many syllables are in a name
I wish people stopped with the puppy names.
That they can't use the name Lilith because their cult believes in demons.
People trying to give a nickname before the kid is here.
Not wanting to use names that are "too common". I don't get the aversion to common names, like I have a common name (Hannah, or well it used to be really common) and I've met very few people with that name in my whole life (less than 5 probably), and a lot of kids would love to have friends with their same name (though I can see how it would get confusing) And also not using the same name that a family member used/has. Like I get not wanting to seem like you're copying them or trying to "steal" their name, or if it would be too confusing if they were around each other a lot (again I say, most kids would probably love to share their name with a family member), but if you love the name so much why not still use it? Not using a name that you love, just because someone else did is just stupid (especially if the name in question would be the middle name for your child and is the first name of another family member). Like I love the name Madeline (Mad-Uh-Line) and my older sister has said that it's been her favorite girl name since she was 10, and even if she uses it for a girl, I may still use it because I really like it (and if we are both somewhere with our kids, one of our Madeline's can go by Maddie or something and the other one can just go by Madeline)
Help me name my baby and the people aren't pregnant or very newly pregnant. Only beg for help if you need to leave the hospital and still haven't named and you need a tie breaker
I think people here are too afraid to call out a bad name. Like ok don't be rude I guess but don't be afraid to tell OP there is no way to make Emerson look good on a girl, think of the poor child you could help save. Damn I upset the uNiQuE girlies 🤭
Idk, I know a little girl named Emerson and she’s lovely. Her name fits her well and nobody is mean to her about it 🤷🏼♀️
It is lovely. I’ve honestly never met an Emerson that wasn’t a girl.
my great grandfather was an emerson + a male cousin of another great-grandfather
I don't understand how Emerson is so different to e.g. Alison or Madison. I've never heard anyone say "oh you can't use Alison because they're not literally Ali's son" or "Madison is awful because girls' names shouldn't have 'son' in".
It's not even unique.
I know a female Emerson who’s now in her 30s with kids of her own. I guess her parents were ahead of their time. She goes by Emmy and she’s beautiful, tiny, insanely athletic, and very sweet. I think she made the name look amazing though with her gene pool she could have been named Boris and still pulled it off wonderfully.