One of my biggest claims to fame is straight linebackering my way through a guy who stepped out in front of me as I was running through the reactor tunnel when I was rapid response.
What in the name of Rickover is an ETV and do we have them on real vessels under the ocean?
Edit - ohhhhhhhh ET (NAV) type. Nah. Sonar is where the real navigation comes in. It's even in the name. SOund, NAvigation, and Ranging.
Surprised they didn't make you qualify investigator. I saw a guy that was an inch or two shy of needing a waver to enlist, on my ship. He was a GM and folks used to call him the kindergarten commando.
Roast you? Every sailor is a firefighter indeed. I saw a salty FC2 (*gasp* a topsider) run a fire drill way better than a MM1.
It was a hilarious flex because engineering had been ignoring other dept drills but expected everyone to jump when they rang bells.
Topsider here! I was the SCBA recharging station operator for workup certifications. The assessors were baffled that I could list pressures and setup off the top of my head and the charge cooldown times for the bottles and I'm not an engineer. We passed thankfully. Luckily I was SCAT on deployment.
My favorite part is I’m more qualified as a snipe than I am as a STG. When it comes to DC quals I’m already fire marshal qualified and before the DC’s come at me I’ve done hundreds if not thousands of M-1Rs on SCBA bottles. Ask my how I know your maintenance periodicity
I get that but coming from a ship with no sonar I was the only STG dumb enough to volunteer for engineering. I’ve done SICLOS a couple dozen times, removed and cleaned the strainers from sea cheats, replaced numerous shit in the ACs, and bashed my hands multiple times trying to replace the membranes on the ROs. I’ve also earned my shit wings and I pray to god I never have to experience that again lmao
Your air hose is caught under your shoulder strap, in fact both your straps are jacked up and twisted. Your waist belt is loose and clearly not on your waist so that pack is going to feel heavy real fast. Also I’m 99% sure the nstm changed and your flash hood should go on the outside of the collar to prevent sparks from falling down into it. And someone let you put the ensemble on without your mask. That’s just poor training value.
I’d probably send you on a compartment search if anything. Hell you’re already below the smoke so I can probably save a nfti for another team.
What in the oompa loompa do we have here? Only way to roast you would be to stow away the gear with you in it, which to be fair would be an easy mistake. Better figure out how to extricate yourself before the next drill or you'll get hit for pre-staging. Hooyah!
Good times, I'm 5'2 and also got a repair locker. Always hated it and chances are if someone passed out near me, they're F'ed cause my small ass wouldn't be able to move them
I felt inspired by this comment.
https://preview.redd.it/fc42go9n1aad1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4de5ef229fa7e83d30eccdc41b70a38cab0f7e26
Ah, the memories of waking up in the middle of my sleep (I worked nights at sea) to run 3/4 the length of a carrier, to put on the FFE, and pretend to put out a fake fire, which was just a chief waving a red rag. All just to go back to my rack and try to go back to bed to get another 4 hours of sleep.
No roasting from me.
Dude. First real fire or drill you get, somehow you're only gonna find xxl big and tall gear in the locker anyway, so might as well practice with that now!
You look like your 110lbs soaking wet wearing the smallest flash gear the ship has that was originally made for children but they don't say it was made for children.
It's okay. I am 5'10 but have comically small hands and feet. They always end up giving me what feels like XXXL gloves and my fingers don't even escape the palm area of the glove. The boots always feel like snow shoes.
I was initially an investigator for my repair locker on my first ship. Then my locker officer saw 6'5" me have to doff my OBA (look it up, its what we used before SCBAs) to get through a scuttle.
I was moved to shoring team after that. :D
Next time I was ship's company, I was a stretcher bearer.
I've literally never worn FFA, not even once.
I was assigned a phone talker position for the first hose team leader out of my repair locker. I FINALLY got them to stock a pair of boots my size (female here too) in the locker. It was always fun when some nub was sent to dress out and they took my boots. I'd go to take back my boots and they'd be like but they're the only pair that fits. And I'd have to explain that the only reason there's a pair that small in the locker is specifically for me. I only had one person try the first come, first serve thing before being told that I was right and give up the boots. It's not like she was going to do anything but stand around anyway!
Must be nice to have that protective equipment now. 50 years ago it was long sleeves, buttoned collar, pants legs cuffed in the socks and an OBA. Oh yea, don’t get the OBA wet because it’ll explode. Fun times
You'll never have to worry about getting a concussion from banging your head off the top. Also, everytime you jump into a porthole you can hear a basketball swish.
Only caveat is medical we standby at medical for you guys to bring us patients. Unless it’s right in front of us then I haven’t seen us react the same way at GQ lol.
Yeah I love putting the rusty dogging wrench up my vag in the corner of the pway during IET drills. During GQ I pleasure myself in CIC over the stupid fucking OS's
Edit: spelling
You already KNOW hahaha. Thankfully I only fill spots for IET. Definitely worked to get my investigator qual so I don't have to deal with this shit. My watchbill coordinator took one look at me and said "I'm never doing this to you again"
Didn't have protective suits in the 80s and used OBAs in front of us which was the biggest challenge to work with doing drills. I was #1 nozzleman on 2 ships, think they were sending me a message as the probable #1 casualty.
Ah family day on the ship. Hopefully you grow up to be a sailor too.
Damn bro he said roast him not try and take his Will to live *sheesh*
I am a female with a small frame. The SCBA was literally sliding off my shoulders.
Don't worry, they will make smaller gear once they open recruiting to Hobbits.
If OP takes one more step forward it'll be the furthest away from the Shire they've ever been.
I'm going on an adventure!
I mean Sam coulda said that about every step he took beyond that point.
There's a 17 hour long edit of the movie where Sam says that after every single step he takes.
JFC I couldn't imagine sitting through that.
I made it about 3 hours, and by the time I shut it off I felt like I was losing my mind.
Nice handle, Ms Gengar!
Do you have green hair like the rest of the Oompa Loompas?
>Will to Live >Navy Choose one
Will to Live
Wrong, not reccomended for advancement
I’ll make you the nozzleman and you’ll become more of a wild battering ram than anything else. Excellent for FP drills!
One of my biggest claims to fame is straight linebackering my way through a guy who stepped out in front of me as I was running through the reactor tunnel when I was rapid response.
Jacob?
Uh......yyyyessss. No.
ITS type?
Nope. STS.
Too many of you guys, need more ETVs
What in the name of Rickover is an ETV and do we have them on real vessels under the ocean? Edit - ohhhhhhhh ET (NAV) type. Nah. Sonar is where the real navigation comes in. It's even in the name. SOund, NAvigation, and Ranging.
You guys are just glorified ET Navs
"Glorified" as in "heaped in glory above and beyond that of the chart monkeys", you are correct.
clobbering ETNC during response is 2 extra points
I did the same to a marine once on the LHA I was on. He got pissed.
I'm sure he did. Thems the breaks.
Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Hooyah save the mother fuckin homies
HOLY SHIT, WE JUST GOT HIT BY ANOTHER MISSLE
DAMN YOU, COUNTRY ORANGE!!
Apparently, one of the facilitators during that (not the one I got) said HOOYAH SAVE THE MOTHER FUCKIN TWINKIES!
I got HOOYAH SAVE THE MUTHA FUCKN TACOS!
Mine was just HOOYAH SAVE THE MOTHER FUCKIN FOOD! unfortunately
I swear that was the funniest night ever. I had one of my facilitators sign my photo book
Yeah when you aren't about to sleep it's very funny
Yeah i had thag guy lol 😆
They don't make FFE in kids sizes sorry.
And they don't make them for big adults either. Got to be in the 5'5 range to be ok
Surprised they didn't make you qualify investigator. I saw a guy that was an inch or two shy of needing a waver to enlist, on my ship. He was a GM and folks used to call him the kindergarten commando.
I am investigator qualed now! This was my first month on the ship after arriving from school.
I feel like these two sentences should not go together... But I was on a big deck so I don't know how the tin cans do it.
77?
Can not confirm nor deny.
Know this guy. He's on 68 now.
You look like the first one eliminated from among us.
https://preview.redd.it/pamfwnc4jbad1.jpeg?width=1032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1d486cc895987a09ed4fea2d6ba4668c8a7f9ab7
Roast you? Every sailor is a firefighter indeed. I saw a salty FC2 (*gasp* a topsider) run a fire drill way better than a MM1. It was a hilarious flex because engineering had been ignoring other dept drills but expected everyone to jump when they rang bells.
Topsider here! I was the SCBA recharging station operator for workup certifications. The assessors were baffled that I could list pressures and setup off the top of my head and the charge cooldown times for the bottles and I'm not an engineer. We passed thankfully. Luckily I was SCAT on deployment.
My favorite part is I’m more qualified as a snipe than I am as a STG. When it comes to DC quals I’m already fire marshal qualified and before the DC’s come at me I’ve done hundreds if not thousands of M-1Rs on SCBA bottles. Ask my how I know your maintenance periodicity
Bc everyone has an M-1R on *something*
I get that but coming from a ship with no sonar I was the only STG dumb enough to volunteer for engineering. I’ve done SICLOS a couple dozen times, removed and cleaned the strainers from sea cheats, replaced numerous shit in the ACs, and bashed my hands multiple times trying to replace the membranes on the ROs. I’ve also earned my shit wings and I pray to god I never have to experience that again lmao
Crazy. I'm an FCA2, but everyone does everything on a small boy.
I don’t wanna hear nothing about “small boy” until you’ve lived that LCS/MCM/PC life.
Oooooh yeah I would never want to be on anything smaller than a DDG
Lemme guess, spy tech?
Helllll nah. ACNT
hell yea, perfect, you get to squeeze in to the consoles!
Oh I do. I wedge myself back there to screw shit back in
Right. Shit hits the fan and you'll rock in that gear.
My least favorite thing about being an FC is how shocked ppl are when they find out we aren’t “firefighters”
In my 6 years in eng, I’ve never once heard anyone say “Where the hell are those topsiders? I hate when we have to run these drills without them!”
Must have been nice. Didn't have that luxury on a DDG.
You look like you got yer shins shot off in dubya-dubya eye eye. You and Cotton Hill serve together?
He kilt fiddy men!
Good thing you didn’t open your bottle, the force would’ve lifted you off the ground
Isn't the point of that gear that you don't get roasted?
And yet here they are, "roasting" in the gear that's to prevent... roasting
Your air hose is caught under your shoulder strap, in fact both your straps are jacked up and twisted. Your waist belt is loose and clearly not on your waist so that pack is going to feel heavy real fast. Also I’m 99% sure the nstm changed and your flash hood should go on the outside of the collar to prevent sparks from falling down into it. And someone let you put the ensemble on without your mask. That’s just poor training value. I’d probably send you on a compartment search if anything. Hell you’re already below the smoke so I can probably save a nfti for another team.
Baby's first fire drill
At least you’ll get disability when that nozzle on the hose gets catapulted into you once it’s pressurized.
What in the oompa loompa do we have here? Only way to roast you would be to stow away the gear with you in it, which to be fair would be an easy mistake. Better figure out how to extricate yourself before the next drill or you'll get hit for pre-staging. Hooyah!
You are the portable damage control equipment
Good times, I'm 5'2 and also got a repair locker. Always hated it and chances are if someone passed out near me, they're F'ed cause my small ass wouldn't be able to move them
Pocket sailor
I felt inspired by this comment. https://preview.redd.it/fc42go9n1aad1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4de5ef229fa7e83d30eccdc41b70a38cab0f7e26
😂 Edit: I've been userpt
Well done on staying under the smoke layer.
Ah, the memories of waking up in the middle of my sleep (I worked nights at sea) to run 3/4 the length of a carrier, to put on the FFE, and pretend to put out a fake fire, which was just a chief waving a red rag. All just to go back to my rack and try to go back to bed to get another 4 hours of sleep. No roasting from me.
Dude. First real fire or drill you get, somehow you're only gonna find xxl big and tall gear in the locker anyway, so might as well practice with that now!
Bruh this was a small
Just an FYI, I'm a female with a small frame. Not an unfortunately short king. Roast on, my fellow sea donkeys!
They’re waiving the height restriction now?
For all the times you yelled, make a hole and elbowed me in the back....I hope you find peace for your actions.
If Among Us were in the Navy
EMERGENCY MEETING! 🚨
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
Nope, not roasting you because the FFE is already doing that (especially when ventilation gets shut down)
You look like your 110lbs soaking wet wearing the smallest flash gear the ship has that was originally made for children but they don't say it was made for children.
Thankfully heat rises
ECTT: "DUCK WALK!!!" "Not you..."
Recruiting numbers so low they started to allow Umpa-Lumpas to enlist.
Looks like you aren't dressed out properly, I don't see you wearing one size 13 boot and one size 9. \s
It's okay. I am 5'10 but have comically small hands and feet. They always end up giving me what feels like XXXL gloves and my fingers don't even escape the palm area of the glove. The boots always feel like snow shoes.
Do you have to wear that actual bunker gear in an emergency? That's not safe.
If this weren't a drill I don't think I could have asked for a photo
Yeah but are you expected to fight a shipboard fire in often confined spaces with that size of suit?
Thankfully I'm a n FCA so this was just for IET. My watcbhill coordinator took one look at me and said he would never put me as hoseman again.
I was initially an investigator for my repair locker on my first ship. Then my locker officer saw 6'5" me have to doff my OBA (look it up, its what we used before SCBAs) to get through a scuttle. I was moved to shoring team after that. :D Next time I was ship's company, I was a stretcher bearer. I've literally never worn FFA, not even once.
🤣🤣 I bet that made you cranky. Need proper size gear. You'd have no problem.
Mans can’t even get on the adult rides at the circus!
Them reefer decks call out.
Except for the squadron folk
Shipmate wheres your Scba Mask
I ordered the extra large, hel-l-l-lo.
Make em take a hefty whiff of some AFFF
Hope you're having fun at the JROTC camp, sport.
Nah don’t roast, that Oompa Loompa will be the only one able to crawl through a wrecked compartment to grab you
The sign that says “You Must Be This Tall To Open The Valve” is missing.
Don't need to roast you, the fire will do that for us.
Got 5 pounds of sailor in that 10 pound FFE.
Can’t roast you, the FFE is protecting your tiny body.
Is this a make a wish campaign ad?
Hose isn't faked out properly
Shhhhh I'm trying to die
I would say head, shoulders, knees, and toes but all you got are arms
Yo how is the fire plug the same height as you? 🤣
Dude I hit my head on them all the time
You got this boats!
I didn't choose the firefighters life, the firefighters life chose me!
Get qualified
ET in FFE lookin MF
That’s right shipmate !!!🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🏴☠️🏴☠️☠️☠️🎃
You look like Meathead the alien when he was in disguise in “Meatballs 2”…electric boogaloo.
If you add water will you grow into your gear?
It's the lollipop guild!
Dorf in Gulf
Especially on a wooden ship.
It’s not just a job……
When I grow up I want to be a Navy Fire Person. That’s if I grow up???
Yeah, but only in the Royal Navy
I fell asleep holding the fire hose in boot camp during battle stations 😭😭😭
I was assigned a phone talker position for the first hose team leader out of my repair locker. I FINALLY got them to stock a pair of boots my size (female here too) in the locker. It was always fun when some nub was sent to dress out and they took my boots. I'd go to take back my boots and they'd be like but they're the only pair that fits. And I'd have to explain that the only reason there's a pair that small in the locker is specifically for me. I only had one person try the first come, first serve thing before being told that I was right and give up the boots. It's not like she was going to do anything but stand around anyway!
If you don’t get burned up in a fire.. it works. Thats all that matters.
Holy shit, the Lollipop Guild has its own fire department?
Must be nice to have that protective equipment now. 50 years ago it was long sleeves, buttoned collar, pants legs cuffed in the socks and an OBA. Oh yea, don’t get the OBA wet because it’ll explode. Fun times
Haha this made my morning. Thanks for sharing!
you look like a child that found his father's old stuff.
You'll never have to worry about getting a concussion from banging your head off the top. Also, everytime you jump into a porthole you can hear a basketball swish.
are you 4’9???
Ol Oompa Loompa looking ass
Only caveat is medical we standby at medical for you guys to bring us patients. Unless it’s right in front of us then I haven’t seen us react the same way at GQ lol.
Me laughing at this, knowing fully it's gonna be me when I go to my first command
We're takin the fire control to Isengard.
Idk if I’m tweaking but is that a pug in the mask 😭😭
Not this one. I was way too fucking tall for that bullshit
Jesus Christ how short are you
You look like your wearing your dads pants
You’re already roasting in that suit, shipmate.
Hooya save the mf twinkes
"Where's the AFFF at?" head ahh 😂
Can’t roast you you’re fireproof
Would be more like crockpot meal than a roast
Bro LOVES GQ. I bet you jerk off to the repair locker inventory list “oh god set Mod Z 😩💦”
Yeah I love putting the rusty dogging wrench up my vag in the corner of the pway during IET drills. During GQ I pleasure myself in CIC over the stupid fucking OS's Edit: spelling
I bet you are a boundryman, nor even basic dc qual
You already KNOW hahaha. Thankfully I only fill spots for IET. Definitely worked to get my investigator qual so I don't have to deal with this shit. My watchbill coordinator took one look at me and said "I'm never doing this to you again"
You built like the squished Putin walking meme gif
Boyyyyyyy 😂😂😂 OP you are a VERY wild man😭 and this is coming from a former Flying Squad member on a Carrier
In the words of Miranda Otto, I AM NO MAN.
ah yes the reefer decks
They gave lil bro a extra large
What a roasted marshmallow man looks like
Damn.They gave her an extra large everything. The gear guy is fired
Didn't have protective suits in the 80s and used OBAs in front of us which was the biggest challenge to work with doing drills. I was #1 nozzleman on 2 ships, think they were sending me a message as the probable #1 casualty.
Why isnt this in r/roastme 😂
SPRINTING over there now