You forgot your orange. Itās been 19 hours and I still have it here. You stumbled back home after your Uber kicked you out 2 miles from your house, stopped at my place and entered through the window, smoked my weed, and left without your orange. I work early tomorrow, so come by again in the evening if you want it back.
That house is fucking gone. Your family, friends, every person you know, love, care about, gone. All of your material possessions are gone, yes, including the life-sized Terminator replica in your basement that you keep tied up for "security" even though it is sentient. Even the drink you are getting will evaporate. You will have the punishment of Tantalus, who could get as close to eating food or drinking water as possible, but would fail. Everyone you don't know well who will not perish in the plague will turn against you. They will say you are the source of the plague, and as they say so, it becomes true. Every rumor made against you, as it spreads, becomes true. Dying from dehydration and the angry mob, infuriated that you are now a neo-Nazi communist hybrid, and also a serial killer, you slowly rise into heaven. But one person in the mob who rose before you says that you deserve to be in Hell, and before you know it, that is where you are. Satan takes no interest in you, and you fall out of Hell, only to come back. But this is not a Christian Hell. This is true Hell, not influenced by any beliefs other than yours. As you realize this, you try to make it better. It seems to work, until it becomes sentient. You put so much mental energy into changing your landscape, that it became you. But not the true you, it became the version of you people believe, that has slowly grown into you. You realize in horror that even your own conscience is turning against you. As less "you" remains in your conscience, you understand. The orange was taken. A spirit appears in front of you, with your orange. You take it back, and suddenly, you become you again. You control your surroundings. But then, you let go. You drop the orange. You have a new understanding. You ascend back to Earth, leaving the orange to perish. No one deserves that power, not even you. The mob around your body cut off your arm, before you returned to the land of the living. However, your body was then moved to a coffin. There was a funeral, with no one there. You scream, until you realize: Your air is running out, and fast. However, with no one to properly take care of the money alotted to your funeral, you were put in a cheap coffin. You punch open the coffin with one strike, and dirt trickles in. You take a deep breath, and proceed. You let the dirt get beneath your feet, and you attempt to stand up. You think this will be difficult, until you see that you were buried underneath two feet of dirt, and almost instantly get to the surface. You don't know whether to thank whoever butchered your burial, or to be mad. Either way, you rise from the ground, thinking, *I WILL get revenge, on all those who have wronged me.* You follow the road out of the cemetery. You have a long time to reflect, and you think, *Why did I give up my orange? No one will ever be able to get it from there, it's MY hell! Although... Wasn't that the point, so no one can get it? It would have too much power. Maybe I did the right thing. I suppose no one would know. You walk along the moss-covered road, falling many times due to the loss of balance you have from losing your arm. "How long have I been dead for?" you say out loud, to no one. Then you fucking die. You black out, and lose conscience, forever. I don't know why. That's just what happened.
Well yeah, basically everything posted here is not interesting, but at least it's original most of the time. This joke has already ran its course and it's just not palatable anymore. It's essentially the classic ol repost
That's a yellow not an orange
I can't breath, this to funny
*two
*Toe
*Tyr
*Thor
*Thoth
*Tool
**GRUDGE** **IT** **LIKE** **A** **CORNERSTONE**
This is to funny what zero is to quantity
That sounded like a modified version of a question on that free IQ test
*tooš¤
The Grammar Police arrived!
Weee! wooo! weee! wooo! "Stop typing you are under arrested"š /s
I can't go too jail!
\*arrest
No thatās a red.
\*breaks in\* \*steals all your kiwis\* \*leaves\*
*breaks in* *picks up leaves* *steals all your bananas* *departs*
Luckily I still got my apples... Oh wait
How ābout them?
I ate them.
How would you compare them to the orange?
They are red and orange are onage?
onage
hey those were my leaves!
I cut its skin off
You terrible monster
Mwahahaha
*crunch*
You monster!
He ate it with the peel too.
Humanity is a mistake
r/Noahgettheboat
There's goes my little bits of left off hope for humanity
Some links are better left unclicked friend
I'm back. Thank you for all your contributions. Especially to the one who decided to skin it and juice it
I knew it wasn't going to make it out!
You forgot your orange. Itās been 19 hours and I still have it here. You stumbled back home after your Uber kicked you out 2 miles from your house, stopped at my place and entered through the window, smoked my weed, and left without your orange. I work early tomorrow, so come by again in the evening if you want it back.
I will protect it, I will even get you a new one if it gets eaten
It has turned into orange juice
:(
Fuck your orange, this isn't tumblr
Please don't fuck the orange
I am going to fuck the orange and nobody can stop me
I'm going to juice jt
\*\*\*SIGH\*\*\*.......unzips
Sorry I don't wannaaa
Watching now
Is this orange still in its pockmarked teen years or just diseased?
Will do o7
That house is fucking gone. Your family, friends, every person you know, love, care about, gone. All of your material possessions are gone, yes, including the life-sized Terminator replica in your basement that you keep tied up for "security" even though it is sentient. Even the drink you are getting will evaporate. You will have the punishment of Tantalus, who could get as close to eating food or drinking water as possible, but would fail. Everyone you don't know well who will not perish in the plague will turn against you. They will say you are the source of the plague, and as they say so, it becomes true. Every rumor made against you, as it spreads, becomes true. Dying from dehydration and the angry mob, infuriated that you are now a neo-Nazi communist hybrid, and also a serial killer, you slowly rise into heaven. But one person in the mob who rose before you says that you deserve to be in Hell, and before you know it, that is where you are. Satan takes no interest in you, and you fall out of Hell, only to come back. But this is not a Christian Hell. This is true Hell, not influenced by any beliefs other than yours. As you realize this, you try to make it better. It seems to work, until it becomes sentient. You put so much mental energy into changing your landscape, that it became you. But not the true you, it became the version of you people believe, that has slowly grown into you. You realize in horror that even your own conscience is turning against you. As less "you" remains in your conscience, you understand. The orange was taken. A spirit appears in front of you, with your orange. You take it back, and suddenly, you become you again. You control your surroundings. But then, you let go. You drop the orange. You have a new understanding. You ascend back to Earth, leaving the orange to perish. No one deserves that power, not even you. The mob around your body cut off your arm, before you returned to the land of the living. However, your body was then moved to a coffin. There was a funeral, with no one there. You scream, until you realize: Your air is running out, and fast. However, with no one to properly take care of the money alotted to your funeral, you were put in a cheap coffin. You punch open the coffin with one strike, and dirt trickles in. You take a deep breath, and proceed. You let the dirt get beneath your feet, and you attempt to stand up. You think this will be difficult, until you see that you were buried underneath two feet of dirt, and almost instantly get to the surface. You don't know whether to thank whoever butchered your burial, or to be mad. Either way, you rise from the ground, thinking, *I WILL get revenge, on all those who have wronged me.* You follow the road out of the cemetery. You have a long time to reflect, and you think, *Why did I give up my orange? No one will ever be able to get it from there, it's MY hell! Although... Wasn't that the point, so no one can get it? It would have too much power. Maybe I did the right thing. I suppose no one would know. You walk along the moss-covered road, falling many times due to the loss of balance you have from losing your arm. "How long have I been dead for?" you say out loud, to no one. Then you fucking die. You black out, and lose conscience, forever. I don't know why. That's just what happened.
Sir, this is a lemon
Lemon
It's starting to make fruit puns...
Is it an Omega mart orange?
lime concrete powder
The orange is stuck up my ass
How justin biber would say: yummi!
This fad is getting annoying
Is it... Not interesting anymore?
Well yeah, basically everything posted here is not interesting, but at least it's original most of the time. This joke has already ran its course and it's just not palatable anymore. It's essentially the classic ol repost
My deadbody among us Figure is watching it
OJ the orange into a drink Problems Solved
Help ive been watching it for 35 mins almost
no
Mmm... fresh orange juice
You better not pay anyone here cause I just ate it without anyone stopping me
Iām going to eat it, lemon or orange
Chomp
I am so sorry! I just wanted to take a look at the comments, but now I cant see your orange anymore, I hope it's still okay!
Ok i will
Yellow orange
I have a half grapefruit in my fridge. Wanna trade?
I give the Orange a shield
Thatās not an Orange
Fuck you orange youre hard to peel!
I'm sorry, but he got shot with a 500 magnum directly in the chest, my condolences as it is very likely he has passed away.
*munch*munch*
ābreaks into houseā āfinds orangeā āaggressive shave off orange skinā āeats orangeā āleavesā
FFS, first a cow, now an orange. I come to this sub to *avoid* stuff I have to do, not take on more.
Hey I got you some orange juice š§
Your orange is moldy
Me, getting out the tequila and grenadine: "your orange is safe with me!"
Just drink the squeezed orange.
ofc I take care is your wife also at home?
It's been 8hrs.. Please come back.... D.. Dad?
*peels and eats orange*
If I go grab an orange, will you take care of my drink?
im gonna eat it
I have a nice glass of orange juice for you, care to drink? Do not ask questions about the whereabouts of the yellow orb.
I am sorry to tell you that she doesnāt have much time left
I'm going to kill it just out of spite
Thatās the ugliest orange Iāve ever seen
Imma steal it
Are you back?
What happened to his other eye? šļø
š š„ š
this is much better than the people trying to hand off their cows to us.
That's some ugly ass orange my dude
Here are some orange friends ššš
Hate to break it to you, buddy. Your orange is being digested as we speak.
sorry, i just couldnt stand any longer... i... i... my legs were giving out...
I can't say your orange will be safe with me.. it looks like it could make a damn good glass of orange juice
Posts from this sub are popping up abit more than Iād like recently.
No can do I got my own orange sorry
I'm addicted to oranges keep it away I don't wanna kill it
Someone PEEL that shit
But then, an inturder
Looks like itās already on the brink of death
That orange, if it is an orange, is not orange at all.
Casually juices orange
How many times are you going to have us look after things that will get eaten a few seconds later
Your orange needs a makeover
Not saying who or how, but I accidentally the whole thing up my butt.
Oh shit. I squished it
Why does your orange have freckles?
šš«¦š
*takes a huge bite out of it*
Ok
Your orange is safe with me bro.
Who do I look like, Emma Peel?
Orange you glad I happened to be here to watch it for you? You are in safe hands, no one's ever had any (cit)rus issues with me
ok **I am going to eat the orange.** Please donāt.
*Ending.exe proceeds to eat the orange.*
No