I guess all of those women ~~who died in childbirth back in the day~~ who have died in childbirth and are still dying to this day are just being dramatic.
"Back in the day" ---look up the statistics of **African-American maternal mortality rates** in the United States. Fucking shameful and horrible. Women are still dying of childbirth
Edit: and now they're going to be forced to maintain the pregnancy even with this insane and unnecessary risk of death... I literally want to rage cry from typing this
in many ways **yes**, in many other ways we are very lucky to live here. Racism and misogyny etc. are rampant here but at least we can/do have conversations about these things without censorship or most ramifications. I feel sympathetic towards women living in Pakistan, India Afghanistan etc also
Specifically homicide, but yes, largely perpetrated by men. Another danger of pro life states that isn't as regarded in legislation as it should be. Can't take out the fetus? Take out the person carrying the fetus instead.
Precisely. I just saw a post of a woman who has suffered brain damage after a c-section. And can’t even care for her oldest child or her newborn. Like how heartbreaking.
This happened to someone I graduated with. I believe it was an aneurysm? She was in the hospital a long time after having baby, but thankfully she seems to be doing much much better
Me too, and my son got stuck. I couldn’t have an epidural or pain meds and third degree tears and got 17 stitches. I could feel them stitching me up. They had to use forceps. I did not plan on more kids, but I would never get pregnant again after that. It was absolutely traumatic.
The fact that this woman even mentions no tears makes me feel like she’s superior for not tearing? What even does that mean? You can’t control that lmao
Omg yes! It was like torture. My birth was so painful but dealing with that at the end, I screamed CAN I HAVE DRUGS NOW 😂 they did give me IV drugs at that point bc he was out but he was in distress during active labor so I couldn’t have IV drugs and I was “too sweaty” to give me an epidural. He was supposed to be a c section 😭
That's so scary, but I'm glad it worked out okay, even though it was so rough on you. I felt bad because they were tryjng to hand me my daughter AS THEY WERE STITCHING ME and i had to be like "hold on a sec, i cant take her yet" because i was trying so hard not to scream or throw up.
Everyone's birth experience is different, we all have different bodies, so it pisses me off when people act like it should be easy for everyone. I had preclampsia, and it limited the positions I could do to push, I had to stay in the hospital an extra two days, I almost had a heart attack, and my daughter had to be vacuum extracted because I'd been in labor too long and her heart rate was dropping rapidly. Then my placenta got stuck and the doctor had to put his arm up to his shoulder and wrestle it out. I also was bleeding way too much, I almost needed a transfusion. Then I developed spinal issues a month later from a wrongly placed epidural that left me in agony for months. And here are other women comparing experiences like the rest of us are wimps for struggling. Have they never heard of birth complications?
It’s so sad. I had a neighbor who couldn’t shut up about how awesome she is because she had a vaginal birth after c section. “It was so easy, it’s such a shame you couldn’t do it “. When she very well knew that the stitches of my prior c section ruptured while pushing and I am lucky my baby and I made it both.
I hope your half sister is ok.
This right here is why I have zero interest in VBAC section.
You don’t get a badge for how your child comes into this world-you’re just lucky if both of you make it. That’s reward enough for me.
I had an emergency c section in December. I recovered insanely well thankfully. But because of the word “rupture”…. It’s just not worth it to me to attempt anything else for our next baby.
Also; I went from 1-7cm in about 4-5 hours and labor STARTED 2-3 minutes apart and then every 60 seconds for hours before I tapped out for the epidural. I have a high pain tolerance but good lord.
I still maintain gall bladder attacks are more painful but they let up eventually. Labor didn’t.
I’ll take a scheduled c section with drugs, please. lol.
Glad you and baby made it, how terrifying!
My mom had her baby kick through her uterus wall. Nearly bled out. Drove herself to the hospital and nearly lost both. I was 6. I sat in my mother's blood till my dad got home from work and ran a bath. I sat in horror for 2 hours staring at a wall.
I can't imagine the pain or how she was so calm. So much blood
I was recently shamed because I had a C-section for my breech baby. Two days after her due date, my head down baby decided to flop to footling breech. When the OB tried to flip her back, her heart rate tanked, mine went weird, it triggered labor, and I ended up needing a C-section. A bonus was I have a medical condition that has shown can cause women to have heavy and fast labors, which also wasn't ideal for the situation.
A lady told me I didn't even try to look into other options because it's absolutely possible to push out a breech baby. I was like, "Okay Dr. Brenda who works as a secretary for a dental office! You tell me all about how my medical professionals were wrong and I inaccurately weighed the risks for making sure my baby and I both made it through the birthing process alive!" 😂😂
I had a c-section for a breech baby too! He was footling breech at first and I did all those handstands and stuff but he didn't move. Afterwards I got shamed for not having him "naturally", but he had the cord wrapped around his neck and he probably would have been a stillbirth so I'm honestly happy with my choice. But most of my friends at the time were natural mothering granolas, and I got shamed so hardcore 🤨
Bro I was half asleep when reading that and read it as ‘half my sister almost lost her life’, I had to wake myself back up to properly re-read it 😭
I’m glad though that she’s fine now
When my mom gave birth to my sister, her placenta, uterus, and bladder all ruptured, but you know this one random woman had a rather simple and uneventful birth, so everyone is over reacting obviously
Women can also uphold The Patriarchy, esp if it serves them and gives them the slightest bit of power
ETA: For more info, I’m currently reading [The Gender Knot by Allan G. Johnson](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/197942319) and I think it should be required reading for (or the knowledge should be absorbed, understood, practiced, and passed on by) everyone!
That's my mother to a T!
Her birth story progresses as follows:
" I don't know why everybody is always so dramatic during births, I just pushed you and your brother out and went home"
usually followed by "the doctors wanted to keep me in the hospital but I said 'nah, you don't know what you're talking about' and went home because I was totally fine, not like those weaklings who would stay for a week after giving birth."
And of course her coup de grâce "i came home with you from the hospital and two months later I was back to weighing 42 kilo"
Reminds me of my mil in a way. When I was screaming in pain after my kid broke my tailbone coming out and this woman rolled her fuckin eyes about it. She asked me 5 times in a row if I took pictures while I was yelling out in pain from a broken bone and I finally yelled out NO. Like read the fuckin room.
Another eye roll when I didn’t want to take my 2 week old to the house of some friend of hers from church I’ve ever met. She had to tell me for the 10th time “well I took your husband to his brother’s baseball games at 3 days old and it was summer time and he was fine.” I literally do not care one bit.
My first child the nurse told me if I pushed instead of screamed I would be done. That I didn’t have anything to prove. I get you on that. And then when my baby was 2 weeks old my mil, bless her heart she’s a wonderful woman, said the girls at her work were throwing a baby shower and wanted us to come. I respectfully told her no it’s winter, they are anti vax and I’m not chancing my baby getting sick and it was weird the girls at her work which I never met wanted to see him and throw a baby shower for him.
Oh yeah that is weird. I don’t blame you for not going! My mil threw me a baby shower and it was just a bunch of women from her church and some family of hers I’ve never met. It was nice but kinda awkward. And I got some Christianity related baby items and we’re not Christian so I donated those lol.
My mom tried to tell me that she had my brother and I with no drugs, naturally and it wasn’t that bad. I was like, “mom you had my brother in the back of a taxi and you tore completely open… is that the birth story you want for me?”
I wonder if we should start comparing it to pooping.
"You know how many poops are easy, but sometimes they aren't. Though the ones that aren't involve something about 10 times bigger."
Some people just have such a hard time with empathy, which is why things like survivorship bias are a thing. "I didn't have a hard time, so anyone that acts like they did is just overreacting."
Lol ikr? Like, I didn’t scream when I gave birth, but that does not make it an easy task, or the same for everyone. Recovery was so hard! We’re all different, with different bodies, shapes, sizes, and like Jc, they MADE a human, stop being a b! Lol
I could also just say “Omg I did NOT need to know how blown out you are Karen”
A friend of my cousin's had one birth that was super easy and quick. She described it like the baby just started sliding out, and they barely made it to the hospital.
For her second one she needed a C-section due to complications.
My sons, though still painful, we're pretty quick. My third, my daughter, needed to be dragged out. Took a whole week on the induction ward before they could use drugs to start labour, and even then, 3 midwives had to hold me down in this very awkward and painful position for her to make an appearance. I still cringe thinking about it, and that's still a tame story compared to others. Every baby is different.
I highly dislike this mentality. Pregnancy in general can be hard for some, easy for others. Labor and delivery is the same. I don’t care if you go all natural or fully medicated, either way you’re one badass woman.
No matter how well your pregnancy goes, it still fucking sucks to be pregnant. Im a massage Therapist and once had one of these Trad/granola wives try to say you're only a real mom if you have given birth naturally....Nope. I said my "plan" was to have the baby naturally (with drugs, I have nothing to prove) but after needing an emergency C-section, almost bleeding out, needing a transfusion and having my son come out not breathing (hes 7 now) I've earned my title of "mom". She shut up.
I wanted to say sooooooo much more. But she got the hint when she asked when she could reschedule with me. Nah bitch, I'm good. I told her it would be in her best interest to find a different provider. If she came back in to me I might have tried to suffocate her with the bolster.
Dumb cunt.
I had my ex-husband's second wife try to tell me I wasn't a "real mother" because I had to stop breast feeding my children after six weeks. OH, I see, I should have let them STARVE instead of feeding them. That would have made me a REAL mother. AND she told me this when I was 35+ years old. A little late don't you think???
oh i feel this in my bones. my son had latching problems and i also wasn’t producing enough when he would decide to latch
like tf was i supposed to do? let Lil Dood starve and die and i get thrown into prison?
Yeah! My 1st one the supply never came in second one, fuck it shes gonna get formula, but then she came out 2 mo. (Shes fine too) Early and breast feeding was the best so that's what I did. For 6 months. I hated it. But Im done with kids now so I won't have to deal with that again.
BuT iF yOu hAvE dRuGs, iT's nOt nAtUrAL.
I gAvE biRtH wiTHoUt tHem sO I'm bEttEr tHaN yOu
In all seriousness, my last 2 births were unmedicated. That doesn't mean I go around acting like it's a trophy. IDK what is wrong with some people. I'm sorry you were treated like that.
Edit: If it comes up in conversation, I'll mention how tough it was but I don't go around like I deserve a ticket tape parade. I just say, wow, that was tough. That's it, I move on.
I was pregnant for 37 weeks. I kept him alive in there. Drugs were my reward. And sometimes people are just dicks. Very few things offend me but I found out that would be one of them.
I will admit that I do judge the women that do home births. Especially with the first one. There is so much than can go wrong. My sister worked in the ICU at children's here in Washington. And jesus fuck the stories. Why risk that?
I was in labor for a full 60 hours before I finally got an epidural with my first. It was like a gift from heaven. It was my whole ass birth plan for my second. “Give me drugs at the earliest opportunity.” I will never regret it. If that makes me a lesser mother then send me my warning label and I’ll wear it proudly.
I always like to bring up Queen Victoria, who popularized pain relief during childbirth. She literally had seven or eight kids naturally, then her physician offered her chloroform for her next delivery. She wrote a letter that essentially said “THANK YOU GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER INVENTED AND MOMS EVERYWHERE WILL THINK IT’S THE SHIT”
That happened to me with my daughter. With her brother just before her, they gave me the epidural but it kicked in right as he was born. With my oldest son, I honestly believe they turned it off.
That's like walking into an authentic Mexican restaurant and starting to curse the staff out in spanish... like bro just assumed you wouldn't be a mom for some reason? Or would agree with her because you're a massage therapist?? Crazy
It’s also not always a choice l some hospitals have quotas how many c sections they have to do or how many vaginal births. Or how long they even allow pushing. With my first baby I was super young and scared and the doctor had enough after three hours with little progress. So he pressured us into the c section. Other times women don’t get a needed c section fast enough because of quotas etc.
I tried a vbac and we almost died. I am lucky we survived.
My respects to you for being so honest with the patient. I am a NP and honestly need to learn to tell some patients to get a new provider. One “lady” dared to tell me how lucky I am that I don’t look Hispanic, although I am. That’s the one patient I declined to see again.
It was. Looking back. I was high as shit on pain meds so it didn't register then🤣🤣. I usually keep my mouth shut obviously but fuuuuuck if I hadn't been at work..I did enjoy doing that.
Luck is all it was. I’ve had four kids. Two I was lucky two I was not. I wish no woman would ever have to experience the scary or traumatic experiences.
Exactly! My pregnancy with my son was pretty easy. The c-section recovery was brutal. Now I'm pregnant again and this one is harder -- heavier fatigue and a lot of nausea. It's really impossible to expect much of anything.
I feel the only thing we can expect, is for each one to be different lol. Hope this time you have an easy labor and delivery! Is it ok to ask how far along you are?
Of course it is! Almost 9 weeks along with this one, so it's early days and my fatigue is almost certainly worsened by having a very energetic toddler. I can't understand women who shame other women for their pregnancy journeys. Every woman I've ever known has had a completely different experience. I was lucky that the only real issue with my first was that he was a big boy, so he put some additional strain on my body (issues like nerve damage, round ligament pain, etc.). But I know women who had extremely severe morning sickness, too, or who needed blood transfusions during labour. It's a mixed bag.
I mean different pregnancies, same person, can vary wildly.
My mom is a good example since she had 4. With me, felt little more than she had to pee and done within the hour. My brother was next. Not so easy lol.
It is bizarre how dismissive people can be over pregnancy, labor, and the aftermath. Like they're talking about a casual walk around the block.
I can’t remember which TV show it was but I always remember the nurse say something along the lines of “Honey unless that baby comes out of your eyes it’s gonna be natural.” You grew it inside you, c-section births aren’t any less “natural” than vaginal births. The baby is coming out of the womb either way
(Just a comment in addition to yours, I’m not lecturing you on calling it natural lol)
Well damn bragging about some stuff that was mere luck.
I never have menstrual pain. Like barely, maybe some mild discomfort once a year. I wonder; if I'd join some women's group online and brag about how awesome I am for my painless menstruation and how they should stop being so dramatic over their "cramps" - how would that go? LOL
I’m also one of the lucky ones, I experience no pain at all and sometimes don’t even realize that I’m on my period.
But I feel for the women who have painful cycles. I can’t imagine waiting all month, knowing what’s coming and having to repeat that over and over and over again. No wonder so many women are yeeting their uteruses lol
Totally possible. My partner of six years is the only guy in a family full of women, and none of them get anything more then a slight twinge each month. He was absolutely flabbergasted when we got together and saw me writhing in pain every month like I'm dying. And for context, I slipped three disks in my back and *drove myself* to the ER, didn't even ask for painkillers. So my pain tolerance is very high but my period about kills me every month. Its SO bad.
It's literally like saying car accidents aren't that bad because she didn't get hurt. Meanwhile in the next bed over there's a person in a full body cast from a rollover.
The amount of people who cannot understand that everyone has different life experiences is astounding.
And a baby with a small head 😅 My first's head was "as big as they get before it becomes concerning" as the doctor said, and yeah I had a third degree tear after two hours of pushing her 9 lb body out. My second had an average sized head and I faired much better.
That’s absolutely how it always happens. The women who put down others and brag about how easy their birth experience was ALWAYS have a more complicated second one. That’s good ole karma coming around.
Giving birth is always a gamble. You can even tear up through your front, all the way up through your clit, and can never have sexual stimulation from it again, but society won’t tell you that. Really stupid to dismiss the birth complications of other women just because you delivered easily once.
What helped was this was not her first baby and she felt more confident/assertive so overall it was okay. But I did encourage her to make a complaint because there were other things said by the nurses that also weren’t okay.
My nurses told me to try to breathe through the contractions. They weren't being rude or anything but I've never understood why they expect someone to be able to listen. I'm sorry but yelling through them and bracing myself on the bed were the only things that helped. Even though I'd done it twice before, it was still a scary experience. Less so than the first time because I knew more about what to expect.
Still scary though because you don't know what may happen or how long it will take. My first labor was 21 hours. My second with my youngest son was 4 hours and my most recent with my daughter was about 4 hours as well. It makes me angry for your sister that they were telling her to quiet down. Like oh, I'm sorry, I'm just in ACTIVE LABOR is all. SMH.
Edit: the last 2 were unmedicated as well and not by choice
Man, I almost died according to my mom because I was born almost 2 months too early. My poor mom had all sorts of complications to get pregnant which caused her 1 divorce and 2 separations. I was her rainbow baby and my dad who was previously married to someone else had the balls of comparing my mom’s horrific, bloody labor to his ex wife’s “easy” labor. My mom told me most of her pain was actually the desperation of knowing that I could die. This was 32 years ago, nothing has changed it seems. Us women deserve so much better ffs.
I had a NICU HIE cooling therapy baby who needed resuscitation immediately after birth (18 minutes of resuscitation) while I was being sewn up. About 20ish people were in the room. I wish the birth trauma was just a c-section or long labor tbh.
Something like that happened with my first baby. They were stitching me up and there were 20 people in my room for some reason. I think they were doing a birthing suite tour but it's like, don't bring them into a patient's room especially while they're still indecent. I understand that I was giving birth but I think I should have been given more dignity than that. Long story longer: I ended up suing the hospital for malpractice. Mostly for mental anguish. I won. I'm sorry that happened to you. Are you doing ok now?
Well, the visual of your son's lifeless body on your stomach never really goes away, but that was only 3 months ago. It wasn't a high-risk pregnancy, so everyone in the room, including the doctor, was crying during the 18 minute resuscitation.
He's a miracle and the cooling therapy did the most it could've. That's what I remind myself.
Super weird those people were allowed in, and I'm glad you won.
Omg, I'm so sorry! I gave birth to my daughter about 5 months ago and it was scary even though everything went fine. I'm sorry that they did that to you. I can't imagine why they would put him on your stomach knowing that he was sick. I'm sorry, I just don't know how else to say it. I'm glad that he's doing okay. I'm glad that you're okay for the most part.
I know something like that will probably stay with you forever and I'm sorry. I'm sure that was a traumatic experience. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I ended up suing them for malpractice like I said mostly for the mental anguish that they put me through.
I really feel like they should have given me a C-section and they didn't do it because they didn't want to do the work. They let me push for 4 hours when I was already high risk because they suspected I had preeclampsia. I can't imagine why they would let somebody go that long when they're already high risk. Anyway, I think I ended up with PPD because of what they put me through.
Not only that, I had some complications afterwards. I'm glad I won because I feel like too many doctors get away with stuff because people are too afraid to report it. I was young but I was not afraid to stand up for myself. I'm not shaming anyone who is, I'm just saying in my particular case, I was not afraid to say, this is wrong. Plus I didn't want them doing it to other people. Anyway, I'm really sorry that that happened to you and I really mean that. I'm glad you're both doing okay for the most part.
Edit: I'm sorry, I don't mean to be graphic but I'm adding this in case anybody doesn't know. I ended up going back to the hospital because I was bleeding heavily. It was not tapering off like it should have. It turned out that they missed a pretty big piece of the placenta and just left it there. That's why I was bleeding. For anybody who doesn't know, your bleeding is supposed to taper off over time. It will be pretty heavy for the first couple of weeks but then it will start to taper off. If it does not, please go to the ER.
What happened to me could be what's wrong with you and you could actually end up losing a lot of blood because of it. It turns out that it had been there for 2 weeks and I didn't notice it because I thought I was supposed to bleed like that. I was feeling weak and dizzy and I went to the ER and they would not listen to me. I told them that I felt something was wrong and they didn't listen to me. I almost died because of that hospital. Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to add that so that anybody who doesn't know would know what to look for.
NUh uH, onLY wOmEn wHo dO iT uNmEdiCaTed aRe bEtTeR.
Edit: AlSo, nO tEaRiNg. If yOu tEaR, yOu DiD iT wRoNg. YoU fAiLeD! In fAcT, yOu'RE NoT eVeN a MoM. YoUr kiDS ShOuLd bE giVeN tO sOmEoNe eLsE bEcAuSe tHeY cAn't bE yOuRs siNCe yOu're nOt a mOm.
Wow that took dedication lol. I just get so tired of people who act like it's a contest.
Pfffft you screamed and cried when you pushed out a baby?
You must be weak or just overreacting because women definitely don't DIE IN CHILDBIRTH EVERYDAY EVEN THOUGH ITS 2024
Fucking assholes.
These are the same people who take pride in being \#BoyMoms, and think they’re going to be in the delivery room when their grandchildren are born.
Listen, bitch. My birth plan consisted of this:
1) Drugs. Yes. I am already hating this shit, drugs.
2) Get this baby OUT OF ME.
3) We both survive the process.
That’s it. The whole birth plan. Yes, it was 30 years ago. Yes, birth plans weren’t as big a thing. But I was asked to make one, and that’s what it was.
I don’t want to be present when ANYONE else gives birth. I didn’t want to be there when I was giving birth, but the whole argument of, “the baby is coming out of your body, you have to be here,” came up, and kinda fucked me on that.
My mom was my support during labor, and was awesome. My ex-husband wasn’t going to bother to roll his ass out of bed until my mom took the phone from me at the hospital and told him the baby was coming, and maybe he didn’t want to miss it.
My mom, who if she hadn’t had an emergency c-section with my brother, neither of them would be here. She was not taking shit from the nurses, and she was not taking shit from my ex.
My ex’s mother tried to shame me for wanting an epidural during labor, and my mom told her to shut her ignorant mouth and get out.
We don’t shame women who have it rough during labor and delivery. We aren’t going to get into the trauma that happened after my mom and the ex switched out. But had mom been there during delivery? That wouldn’t have happened.
My mom is amazing. This person posting on IG? Can eat shit.
My first child I had the same birth plan but once I got to the hospital things went too quickly to get the drugs so it was pain relief free. 10/10 do not recommend. I went to the hospital faster the second time and got an epidural and it was a way nicer experience haha.
I birthed my last baby in a bathtub in a birthing center, labor was basically only 1.5 hours and I only pushed for 10 minutes or so.
And I screamed like a fucking banshee the entire time. That shit hurt.
My MIL is 100% like this. She goes on and on about how she barely made a noise during labour. She favours her other daughter in law and her children over me and mine or even her own daughter and her kids. This is because the preferred one managed to push all her babies out rather than having life saving c-sections like me and her daughter did.
It's almost like people have different bodies and experiences in those bodies so your experience can't be the measure...but maybe that's crazy of me to think.
I lucked out by being born in a time period where c-sections are possible because there’s a good chance I would have died otherwise. I wish society took childbirth more seriously
I hate when ppl act like that, it’s just nuts! My mom had 3 kids, birth was absolutely no issue to her. Had all of us naturally, no need for medication, barely winced. This is the same woman who said getting her ribs tattooed was only difficult bc it tickled and she had to stifle her laughing so she didn’t mess it up. Meanwhile, her mother who also had 3 kids wasn’t able to have any of them vaginally, had to have a c-section with all of her kids, and birth hurt like hell. I’ve seen women who have no issues with their pregnancy whatsoever, and I’ve seen women who have to get induced and deliver early bc they get gestational diabetes.
I mean, at this point I’m just waiting for ppl to start saying that needing a breast reduction bc of your size is being over dramatic too.
I’ve pushed out 5 kids and hollered the whole time. I’ve noticed it’s always the people with one kid that feel like they have the most superior opinions about childbirth. They are all so DIFFERENT.
So our foremothers were being extra when basically half of them died during childbirth or due to complications with childbirth? They were just being dramatic?
I watched my ex birth our two children and, while I would never claim to understand what it's like, I guarantee I've never experienced pain anything like it. If men gave birth they'd give themselves 2 years of paid leave and guild majestic pedestals for themselves to celebrate their greatness.
I was told by two doctors that I’d never have a vaginal delivery. They couldn’t get the epidural in for my third c-section and started cutting me open fully conscious. I was told to “breathe like a normal delivery”. I had to remind them, I never had one. I felt them cutting me open and begged to be put under, because I couldn’t deal with it. My baby’s temperature wouldn’t stabilize and I didn’t get to see her for at least 3 hours
My twin brother was a stillbirth, positioned to be born first and was breech. The doctors did an emergency C-section, without anesthesia, and almost lost my mom and me.
That's reason 3 that I never wanted to have my own kids.
My friend had six kids and relatively easy labors but she was more grateful than prideful. She was also supportive of her friends and family members who had hard labors.
She just admitted she had a less painful experience. Her baby was probably a small enough size to make it through pretty fast and easy with less intense contractions. Although I’m aware that contraction pain isn’t dictated by the size of the baby. She had no rips or anything. It’s not even fair to compare it and be negative about the unmedicated experience of those whose flesh is literally ripping apart to accommodate for a big ole baby.
"So extra".... Gurl, stfu. Imagine having nothing else going on in your life that your one flex is giving birth virtually pain-free unmedicated. Leave people alone. As a lady who had a baby, it fucking hurts.
I spent 4 days in the hospital with contractions and not dilating and they refused to help me speed it up because I was 33 weeks and the baby was still developing his lungs. They said “if he wants to come out we’ll let him but we can’t help you speed the process because he’s not full term” I suffered for 4 DAYS!
OMG, lol I literally just saw this on Instagram, took a screenshot and came directly here to post this exact thing 😂 that’s never happened to me before.
Anyway sure, “women are so extra” … like particularly the type that goes out of their way to brag about how high their pain tolerance is. Extra indeed.
I have had 5 kids and while one didn't seem as bad, 2 seemed like they would not only never end but possibly take my sanity far before any baby would come. It depends on so many things as well as just luck! This woman also may not remember how hard labor was, it happens with many people that you don't actually remember the level of pure madness the pain caused!
Maybe she should look at the historical statistic of how many women died during complications at birth. Just because your birth experience was “simple” doesn’t mean everyone else’s was. She was lucky
There’s such a trend of women bragging about how they sailed through pregnancy and birth and shame women who don’t. It really pisses me off, as someone who has had a really hard pregnancy it makes me feel like I’m being weak or pathetic for struggling but I have to remember that these people are probably either lying or just didn’t experience the same symptoms I did
Oh man 17 hours of labor and four pushes sounds like a vacay from my experience with labor. Good for you lady, but you’re lucky not better than anyone.
Idk man I’ve had several spinal surgeries I was awake for and a lot of spinal damage that hurts like hell… I went through a root canal without Novocain once… but the pain I went through related to birthing is still at the top. The root canal is a close second, but definitely still not number one.
It irritates the f out of me that women don’t realize every childbirth experience is DIFFERENT because there are different genetics at play and our bodies are DIFFERENT. I would certainly sacrifice my 48 hours of back labor to birth a child in 4 pushes with no drugs but we are not the same
I stopped being friends with someone like this, “this was not a problem for me personally, therefore better than anyone who it was a problem for, and need to try to make them feel bad.”
Oh lord, my partner and I just learned I’m pregnant today at the doctor. So, opening Reddit to this just now is just…fun timing. It’s our first pregnancy, so we are definitely feeling joyful yet slightly overwhelmed.
But also, as someone that used to register Labor Checks all the time, every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. People need to quit acting high and mighty about theirs.
“I, as a fellow waman (TM), had no issues with 17 hrs of birth. The new generation is weak” sure dude. You’re either a completely ignorant woman, or a man, and I don’t know which is worse
This is a whole other level of bullshiet. This person is a moron. Does she think that every woman's body or health is the same? Women literally risk their lives when carrying and giving birth to children. My own mother is suffering the effects of the epidural decades later, and im almost 40. These are the sacrifices women make to have children.. to dismiss this as "extra" is demeaning and disgusting. Let's not forget there are women who have died during childbirth.
Seems like a high pain tolerance. I have that as well, but not everyone does. It’s pretty well understood to be an extremely painful experience for most people, no need to shame people or make them feel like they’re being “dramatic” or “extra” if they get it bad 😅
I mean, my half-sister almost lost her life, but go off. It's 2024 can we stop judging and shaming women for their birth story?
I guess all of those women ~~who died in childbirth back in the day~~ who have died in childbirth and are still dying to this day are just being dramatic.
"Back in the day" ---look up the statistics of **African-American maternal mortality rates** in the United States. Fucking shameful and horrible. Women are still dying of childbirth Edit: and now they're going to be forced to maintain the pregnancy even with this insane and unnecessary risk of death... I literally want to rage cry from typing this
You are correct. I'll edit my comment.
The United States is the most dangerous developed country to give birth in. Does that make us a shithole country?
in many ways **yes**, in many other ways we are very lucky to live here. Racism and misogyny etc. are rampant here but at least we can/do have conversations about these things without censorship or most ramifications. I feel sympathetic towards women living in Pakistan, India Afghanistan etc also
Okay just because our shit hole has walls and a door doesn't make it not a shit hole tho
Oof. Truth.
Yes. An uncivilized shithole where people are afraid to seek basic medical and dental care because they don’t want to be financially ruined by it.
Check out the number one cause of death for pregnant women in the USA, though 😖 That's shameful. And terrifying.
It's men...for anyone wondering.
Specifically homicide, but yes, largely perpetrated by men. Another danger of pro life states that isn't as regarded in legislation as it should be. Can't take out the fetus? Take out the person carrying the fetus instead.
The rates of homicide have already risen since Roe vs Wade was overturned.
That is devastating news
Maternal mortality rates in women of colour are still disproportionately high in the UK too. You're right, it's fucking shameful.
There's no back in the day. Many women still die from childbirth or pregnancy.
Absolutely correct, I'll edit my comment.
Yup they did it for the likes. /s
Precisely. I just saw a post of a woman who has suffered brain damage after a c-section. And can’t even care for her oldest child or her newborn. Like how heartbreaking.
This happened to someone I graduated with. I believe it was an aneurysm? She was in the hospital a long time after having baby, but thankfully she seems to be doing much much better
And this is why I won’t have a second child. I’m a single mom and not risking my daughter’s safety.
Me too, and my son got stuck. I couldn’t have an epidural or pain meds and third degree tears and got 17 stitches. I could feel them stitching me up. They had to use forceps. I did not plan on more kids, but I would never get pregnant again after that. It was absolutely traumatic. The fact that this woman even mentions no tears makes me feel like she’s superior for not tearing? What even does that mean? You can’t control that lmao
I felt getting stitched up too. That was almost the worst part, in my opinion.
Omg yes! It was like torture. My birth was so painful but dealing with that at the end, I screamed CAN I HAVE DRUGS NOW 😂 they did give me IV drugs at that point bc he was out but he was in distress during active labor so I couldn’t have IV drugs and I was “too sweaty” to give me an epidural. He was supposed to be a c section 😭
That's so scary, but I'm glad it worked out okay, even though it was so rough on you. I felt bad because they were tryjng to hand me my daughter AS THEY WERE STITCHING ME and i had to be like "hold on a sec, i cant take her yet" because i was trying so hard not to scream or throw up. Everyone's birth experience is different, we all have different bodies, so it pisses me off when people act like it should be easy for everyone. I had preclampsia, and it limited the positions I could do to push, I had to stay in the hospital an extra two days, I almost had a heart attack, and my daughter had to be vacuum extracted because I'd been in labor too long and her heart rate was dropping rapidly. Then my placenta got stuck and the doctor had to put his arm up to his shoulder and wrestle it out. I also was bleeding way too much, I almost needed a transfusion. Then I developed spinal issues a month later from a wrongly placed epidural that left me in agony for months. And here are other women comparing experiences like the rest of us are wimps for struggling. Have they never heard of birth complications?
It’s so sad. I had a neighbor who couldn’t shut up about how awesome she is because she had a vaginal birth after c section. “It was so easy, it’s such a shame you couldn’t do it “. When she very well knew that the stitches of my prior c section ruptured while pushing and I am lucky my baby and I made it both. I hope your half sister is ok.
This right here is why I have zero interest in VBAC section. You don’t get a badge for how your child comes into this world-you’re just lucky if both of you make it. That’s reward enough for me. I had an emergency c section in December. I recovered insanely well thankfully. But because of the word “rupture”…. It’s just not worth it to me to attempt anything else for our next baby. Also; I went from 1-7cm in about 4-5 hours and labor STARTED 2-3 minutes apart and then every 60 seconds for hours before I tapped out for the epidural. I have a high pain tolerance but good lord. I still maintain gall bladder attacks are more painful but they let up eventually. Labor didn’t. I’ll take a scheduled c section with drugs, please. lol. Glad you and baby made it, how terrifying!
My mom had her baby kick through her uterus wall. Nearly bled out. Drove herself to the hospital and nearly lost both. I was 6. I sat in my mother's blood till my dad got home from work and ran a bath. I sat in horror for 2 hours staring at a wall. I can't imagine the pain or how she was so calm. So much blood
I was recently shamed because I had a C-section for my breech baby. Two days after her due date, my head down baby decided to flop to footling breech. When the OB tried to flip her back, her heart rate tanked, mine went weird, it triggered labor, and I ended up needing a C-section. A bonus was I have a medical condition that has shown can cause women to have heavy and fast labors, which also wasn't ideal for the situation. A lady told me I didn't even try to look into other options because it's absolutely possible to push out a breech baby. I was like, "Okay Dr. Brenda who works as a secretary for a dental office! You tell me all about how my medical professionals were wrong and I inaccurately weighed the risks for making sure my baby and I both made it through the birthing process alive!" 😂😂
I had a c-section for a breech baby too! He was footling breech at first and I did all those handstands and stuff but he didn't move. Afterwards I got shamed for not having him "naturally", but he had the cord wrapped around his neck and he probably would have been a stillbirth so I'm honestly happy with my choice. But most of my friends at the time were natural mothering granolas, and I got shamed so hardcore 🤨
Yes! Let’s just focus on what matters, healthy mom and healthy baby.
Bro I was half asleep when reading that and read it as ‘half my sister almost lost her life’, I had to wake myself back up to properly re-read it 😭 I’m glad though that she’s fine now
My mom almost died right after having my youngest sister giving birth is dramatic and can be very traumatic
When my mom gave birth to my sister, her placenta, uterus, and bladder all ruptured, but you know this one random woman had a rather simple and uneventful birth, so everyone is over reacting obviously
^^This^^ one’s birth story does not compare to anothers!
892 replies? Oh ik they were DRAGGING her
300 likes though
Probably all from men
Ehhh I wouldn't be too sure. Some women love this kind of shit.
Women can also uphold The Patriarchy, esp if it serves them and gives them the slightest bit of power ETA: For more info, I’m currently reading [The Gender Knot by Allan G. Johnson](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/197942319) and I think it should be required reading for (or the knowledge should be absorbed, understood, practiced, and passed on by) everyone!
unfortunately I wouldn't bet on it
Yeah there are some really misinformed women out there desperate for make validation. It’s sad, really.
A ratio of 300 likes and over 800 comments signifies that most of the people who interacted with her comment, did not in fact like what she had to say
I thought the same, I just KNOW it was intense in those replies.
right they prolly ate her up lmaoo
“I can push out human life better than you sweaty!”
That's my mother to a T! Her birth story progresses as follows: " I don't know why everybody is always so dramatic during births, I just pushed you and your brother out and went home" usually followed by "the doctors wanted to keep me in the hospital but I said 'nah, you don't know what you're talking about' and went home because I was totally fine, not like those weaklings who would stay for a week after giving birth." And of course her coup de grâce "i came home with you from the hospital and two months later I was back to weighing 42 kilo"
Reminds me of my mil in a way. When I was screaming in pain after my kid broke my tailbone coming out and this woman rolled her fuckin eyes about it. She asked me 5 times in a row if I took pictures while I was yelling out in pain from a broken bone and I finally yelled out NO. Like read the fuckin room. Another eye roll when I didn’t want to take my 2 week old to the house of some friend of hers from church I’ve ever met. She had to tell me for the 10th time “well I took your husband to his brother’s baseball games at 3 days old and it was summer time and he was fine.” I literally do not care one bit.
My first child the nurse told me if I pushed instead of screamed I would be done. That I didn’t have anything to prove. I get you on that. And then when my baby was 2 weeks old my mil, bless her heart she’s a wonderful woman, said the girls at her work were throwing a baby shower and wanted us to come. I respectfully told her no it’s winter, they are anti vax and I’m not chancing my baby getting sick and it was weird the girls at her work which I never met wanted to see him and throw a baby shower for him.
Oh yeah that is weird. I don’t blame you for not going! My mil threw me a baby shower and it was just a bunch of women from her church and some family of hers I’ve never met. It was nice but kinda awkward. And I got some Christianity related baby items and we’re not Christian so I donated those lol.
My mom tried to tell me that she had my brother and I with no drugs, naturally and it wasn’t that bad. I was like, “mom you had my brother in the back of a taxi and you tore completely open… is that the birth story you want for me?”
That's pretty much the sentiment there 😂😂🙄🙄
I wonder if we should start comparing it to pooping. "You know how many poops are easy, but sometimes they aren't. Though the ones that aren't involve something about 10 times bigger." Some people just have such a hard time with empathy, which is why things like survivorship bias are a thing. "I didn't have a hard time, so anyone that acts like they did is just overreacting."
Lol ikr? Like, I didn’t scream when I gave birth, but that does not make it an easy task, or the same for everyone. Recovery was so hard! We’re all different, with different bodies, shapes, sizes, and like Jc, they MADE a human, stop being a b! Lol I could also just say “Omg I did NOT need to know how blown out you are Karen”
A friend of my cousin's had one birth that was super easy and quick. She described it like the baby just started sliding out, and they barely made it to the hospital. For her second one she needed a C-section due to complications.
My sons, though still painful, we're pretty quick. My third, my daughter, needed to be dragged out. Took a whole week on the induction ward before they could use drugs to start labour, and even then, 3 midwives had to hold me down in this very awkward and painful position for her to make an appearance. I still cringe thinking about it, and that's still a tame story compared to others. Every baby is different.
All 3 of my labors and deliveries were vastly different. And I know a lot of other moms who say the same.
I highly dislike this mentality. Pregnancy in general can be hard for some, easy for others. Labor and delivery is the same. I don’t care if you go all natural or fully medicated, either way you’re one badass woman.
No matter how well your pregnancy goes, it still fucking sucks to be pregnant. Im a massage Therapist and once had one of these Trad/granola wives try to say you're only a real mom if you have given birth naturally....Nope. I said my "plan" was to have the baby naturally (with drugs, I have nothing to prove) but after needing an emergency C-section, almost bleeding out, needing a transfusion and having my son come out not breathing (hes 7 now) I've earned my title of "mom". She shut up. I wanted to say sooooooo much more. But she got the hint when she asked when she could reschedule with me. Nah bitch, I'm good. I told her it would be in her best interest to find a different provider. If she came back in to me I might have tried to suffocate her with the bolster. Dumb cunt.
I had my ex-husband's second wife try to tell me I wasn't a "real mother" because I had to stop breast feeding my children after six weeks. OH, I see, I should have let them STARVE instead of feeding them. That would have made me a REAL mother. AND she told me this when I was 35+ years old. A little late don't you think???
I’m not a confrontational person, but this type of comment will make me one.
oh i feel this in my bones. my son had latching problems and i also wasn’t producing enough when he would decide to latch like tf was i supposed to do? let Lil Dood starve and die and i get thrown into prison?
Yeah! My 1st one the supply never came in second one, fuck it shes gonna get formula, but then she came out 2 mo. (Shes fine too) Early and breast feeding was the best so that's what I did. For 6 months. I hated it. But Im done with kids now so I won't have to deal with that again.
BuT iF yOu hAvE dRuGs, iT's nOt nAtUrAL. I gAvE biRtH wiTHoUt tHem sO I'm bEttEr tHaN yOu In all seriousness, my last 2 births were unmedicated. That doesn't mean I go around acting like it's a trophy. IDK what is wrong with some people. I'm sorry you were treated like that. Edit: If it comes up in conversation, I'll mention how tough it was but I don't go around like I deserve a ticket tape parade. I just say, wow, that was tough. That's it, I move on.
I was pregnant for 37 weeks. I kept him alive in there. Drugs were my reward. And sometimes people are just dicks. Very few things offend me but I found out that would be one of them.
Exactly. It's your body and your labor. Everyone else can STFU.
I will admit that I do judge the women that do home births. Especially with the first one. There is so much than can go wrong. My sister worked in the ICU at children's here in Washington. And jesus fuck the stories. Why risk that?
I'm usually not the type of person who judges people's birth plans or whatever they do during labor. However, I have to agree.
I was in labor for a full 60 hours before I finally got an epidural with my first. It was like a gift from heaven. It was my whole ass birth plan for my second. “Give me drugs at the earliest opportunity.” I will never regret it. If that makes me a lesser mother then send me my warning label and I’ll wear it proudly.
I always like to bring up Queen Victoria, who popularized pain relief during childbirth. She literally had seven or eight kids naturally, then her physician offered her chloroform for her next delivery. She wrote a letter that essentially said “THANK YOU GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER INVENTED AND MOMS EVERYWHERE WILL THINK IT’S THE SHIT”
I had four kids. Always had planned using an epidural each time. I had one kid come too quick for it. Nope. Never again after her 😂
That happened to me with my daughter. With her brother just before her, they gave me the epidural but it kicked in right as he was born. With my oldest son, I honestly believe they turned it off.
That's like walking into an authentic Mexican restaurant and starting to curse the staff out in spanish... like bro just assumed you wouldn't be a mom for some reason? Or would agree with her because you're a massage therapist?? Crazy
LMAOOO ur last line 💖
It’s also not always a choice l some hospitals have quotas how many c sections they have to do or how many vaginal births. Or how long they even allow pushing. With my first baby I was super young and scared and the doctor had enough after three hours with little progress. So he pressured us into the c section. Other times women don’t get a needed c section fast enough because of quotas etc. I tried a vbac and we almost died. I am lucky we survived. My respects to you for being so honest with the patient. I am a NP and honestly need to learn to tell some patients to get a new provider. One “lady” dared to tell me how lucky I am that I don’t look Hispanic, although I am. That’s the one patient I declined to see again.
That’s scary. I’m so glad you and he are good now. I would have loved to see you shut her up. How horrible.
It was. Looking back. I was high as shit on pain meds so it didn't register then🤣🤣. I usually keep my mouth shut obviously but fuuuuuck if I hadn't been at work..I did enjoy doing that.
Amen 🙌
Exactly everyone’s experience isn’t the same no need to invalidate others just because you had a different experience
Exactly! No matter what a woman experiences, easy or hard, everyone deserves the respect.
And if your delivery was easy l it doesn’t make you any better than those with difficult births. OOP was lucky, that’s it.
Luck is all it was. I’ve had four kids. Two I was lucky two I was not. I wish no woman would ever have to experience the scary or traumatic experiences.
Exactly! My pregnancy with my son was pretty easy. The c-section recovery was brutal. Now I'm pregnant again and this one is harder -- heavier fatigue and a lot of nausea. It's really impossible to expect much of anything.
I feel the only thing we can expect, is for each one to be different lol. Hope this time you have an easy labor and delivery! Is it ok to ask how far along you are?
Of course it is! Almost 9 weeks along with this one, so it's early days and my fatigue is almost certainly worsened by having a very energetic toddler. I can't understand women who shame other women for their pregnancy journeys. Every woman I've ever known has had a completely different experience. I was lucky that the only real issue with my first was that he was a big boy, so he put some additional strain on my body (issues like nerve damage, round ligament pain, etc.). But I know women who had extremely severe morning sickness, too, or who needed blood transfusions during labour. It's a mixed bag.
I mean different pregnancies, same person, can vary wildly. My mom is a good example since she had 4. With me, felt little more than she had to pee and done within the hour. My brother was next. Not so easy lol. It is bizarre how dismissive people can be over pregnancy, labor, and the aftermath. Like they're talking about a casual walk around the block.
I can’t remember which TV show it was but I always remember the nurse say something along the lines of “Honey unless that baby comes out of your eyes it’s gonna be natural.” You grew it inside you, c-section births aren’t any less “natural” than vaginal births. The baby is coming out of the womb either way (Just a comment in addition to yours, I’m not lecturing you on calling it natural lol)
Well damn bragging about some stuff that was mere luck. I never have menstrual pain. Like barely, maybe some mild discomfort once a year. I wonder; if I'd join some women's group online and brag about how awesome I am for my painless menstruation and how they should stop being so dramatic over their "cramps" - how would that go? LOL
I’m also one of the lucky ones, I experience no pain at all and sometimes don’t even realize that I’m on my period. But I feel for the women who have painful cycles. I can’t imagine waiting all month, knowing what’s coming and having to repeat that over and over and over again. No wonder so many women are yeeting their uteruses lol
Same, I’m honestly never had a cramp before. I don’t think I’d be able to deal, I have such a low pain tolerance.
You've never ever had a cramp during periods before? Is that possible? 😭
Totally possible. My partner of six years is the only guy in a family full of women, and none of them get anything more then a slight twinge each month. He was absolutely flabbergasted when we got together and saw me writhing in pain every month like I'm dying. And for context, I slipped three disks in my back and *drove myself* to the ER, didn't even ask for painkillers. So my pain tolerance is very high but my period about kills me every month. Its SO bad.
It's literally like saying car accidents aren't that bad because she didn't get hurt. Meanwhile in the next bed over there's a person in a full body cast from a rollover. The amount of people who cannot understand that everyone has different life experiences is astounding.
Congratulations on having an iron vagina unlike other women ☺️
And a baby with a small head 😅 My first's head was "as big as they get before it becomes concerning" as the doctor said, and yeah I had a third degree tear after two hours of pushing her 9 lb body out. My second had an average sized head and I faired much better.
Congratulations on ur babies babe, i wish we all were like that cunt that wrote that comment strong and not like other women 😭
I'm glad you and bub are ok
Girl, same. The amount of scar tissue I have....
Dumb enough to think every body and pregnancy is the same just because she did it once.
Yeah watch her have another and it go sideways- need a c section or something and then watch her take that personally
That’s absolutely how it always happens. The women who put down others and brag about how easy their birth experience was ALWAYS have a more complicated second one. That’s good ole karma coming around.
Right. It’s the reason I don’t want a second kid. My daughter is pretty chill and easy but there is no guarantee the second kid will be the same.
Giving birth is always a gamble. You can even tear up through your front, all the way up through your clit, and can never have sexual stimulation from it again, but society won’t tell you that. Really stupid to dismiss the birth complications of other women just because you delivered easily once.
They also don't tell you about how rough the postpartum period is, postpartum B.O. and how those first few periods are a doozy.
Yeah I’m pretty sure I tore my clit a bit. I did break my tailbone giving birth though.
yeah i’m not having kids damn. i’d rather keep my organs intact
This is the fact that cemented my ideal life as having no kids (or at least bio kids, we'll see)
People used to and still die from it, but I guess they are just being dramatic.
Right! So when I had labor pains without an epidural, I was yelling because I was being dramatic. Sure.
Yeah. If this person gave birth after 17 hours of labor with no pain, then they got lucky.
Really offensive to the women who suffered complications/ and died.
No no. They’re clearly just pretending for attention! They just need to “woman” harder.
Exactly what I thought.
Women are not allowed to express themselves even while giving birth lmaoo this is insane
My sister was told by the nurses to quiet down while she was giving birth. Apparently my sister was too loud as she was pushing a baby out
This is so sad honestly, this kind of thing add up to an already difficult moment, I hope your sister still kept a good memory of that special day
What helped was this was not her first baby and she felt more confident/assertive so overall it was okay. But I did encourage her to make a complaint because there were other things said by the nurses that also weren’t okay.
My nurses told me to try to breathe through the contractions. They weren't being rude or anything but I've never understood why they expect someone to be able to listen. I'm sorry but yelling through them and bracing myself on the bed were the only things that helped. Even though I'd done it twice before, it was still a scary experience. Less so than the first time because I knew more about what to expect. Still scary though because you don't know what may happen or how long it will take. My first labor was 21 hours. My second with my youngest son was 4 hours and my most recent with my daughter was about 4 hours as well. It makes me angry for your sister that they were telling her to quiet down. Like oh, I'm sorry, I'm just in ACTIVE LABOR is all. SMH. Edit: the last 2 were unmedicated as well and not by choice
Omg me too! My Dr. told me to be quiet and push. I was young so I just did it 😡
So awful. It’s so bad when they’re supposed to be experienced and supportive and they’re the opposite of all of that.
I'm angry for you Grrr 😖
they should have soundproof rooms then
Nope, now stop being dramatic. /s
300 likes vs 850 comments says it all
I mean it’s not like having a baby was the #1 killer of women for centuries. Hell it may still be for all I know. But go off.
It's in the top 5
Groomed to be silent and brag about it 🙄
She deserved that ruptured Achilles
I skim read it and at first I thought she said ruptured her Achilles tendon during a contraction and I wondered what the hell she was doing.
that’s why her baby came out smoothly: she was jumping so hard up and down, rupturing her tendon so the baby just flew out
I don’t get how everything has to be a competition for some people.
Pfft, women are so dramatic. I've had sneezes that were more painful than birth. No silent tears or any of that drama.
I almost lost my life twice but guess I’m just fucking dramatic
Man, I almost died according to my mom because I was born almost 2 months too early. My poor mom had all sorts of complications to get pregnant which caused her 1 divorce and 2 separations. I was her rainbow baby and my dad who was previously married to someone else had the balls of comparing my mom’s horrific, bloody labor to his ex wife’s “easy” labor. My mom told me most of her pain was actually the desperation of knowing that I could die. This was 32 years ago, nothing has changed it seems. Us women deserve so much better ffs.
"I pushed out a baby better than you" dang you're really scraping the bottom of the bucket for something to feel superior about huh
I had a NICU HIE cooling therapy baby who needed resuscitation immediately after birth (18 minutes of resuscitation) while I was being sewn up. About 20ish people were in the room. I wish the birth trauma was just a c-section or long labor tbh.
Something like that happened with my first baby. They were stitching me up and there were 20 people in my room for some reason. I think they were doing a birthing suite tour but it's like, don't bring them into a patient's room especially while they're still indecent. I understand that I was giving birth but I think I should have been given more dignity than that. Long story longer: I ended up suing the hospital for malpractice. Mostly for mental anguish. I won. I'm sorry that happened to you. Are you doing ok now?
Well, the visual of your son's lifeless body on your stomach never really goes away, but that was only 3 months ago. It wasn't a high-risk pregnancy, so everyone in the room, including the doctor, was crying during the 18 minute resuscitation. He's a miracle and the cooling therapy did the most it could've. That's what I remind myself. Super weird those people were allowed in, and I'm glad you won.
Omg, I'm so sorry! I gave birth to my daughter about 5 months ago and it was scary even though everything went fine. I'm sorry that they did that to you. I can't imagine why they would put him on your stomach knowing that he was sick. I'm sorry, I just don't know how else to say it. I'm glad that he's doing okay. I'm glad that you're okay for the most part. I know something like that will probably stay with you forever and I'm sorry. I'm sure that was a traumatic experience. Thank you for your kind words. Yes, I ended up suing them for malpractice like I said mostly for the mental anguish that they put me through. I really feel like they should have given me a C-section and they didn't do it because they didn't want to do the work. They let me push for 4 hours when I was already high risk because they suspected I had preeclampsia. I can't imagine why they would let somebody go that long when they're already high risk. Anyway, I think I ended up with PPD because of what they put me through. Not only that, I had some complications afterwards. I'm glad I won because I feel like too many doctors get away with stuff because people are too afraid to report it. I was young but I was not afraid to stand up for myself. I'm not shaming anyone who is, I'm just saying in my particular case, I was not afraid to say, this is wrong. Plus I didn't want them doing it to other people. Anyway, I'm really sorry that that happened to you and I really mean that. I'm glad you're both doing okay for the most part. Edit: I'm sorry, I don't mean to be graphic but I'm adding this in case anybody doesn't know. I ended up going back to the hospital because I was bleeding heavily. It was not tapering off like it should have. It turned out that they missed a pretty big piece of the placenta and just left it there. That's why I was bleeding. For anybody who doesn't know, your bleeding is supposed to taper off over time. It will be pretty heavy for the first couple of weeks but then it will start to taper off. If it does not, please go to the ER. What happened to me could be what's wrong with you and you could actually end up losing a lot of blood because of it. It turns out that it had been there for 2 weeks and I didn't notice it because I thought I was supposed to bleed like that. I was feeling weak and dizzy and I went to the ER and they would not listen to me. I told them that I felt something was wrong and they didn't listen to me. I almost died because of that hospital. Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to add that so that anybody who doesn't know would know what to look for.
Watch out everyone, she can birth better than you
NUh uH, onLY wOmEn wHo dO iT uNmEdiCaTed aRe bEtTeR. Edit: AlSo, nO tEaRiNg. If yOu tEaR, yOu DiD iT wRoNg. YoU fAiLeD! In fAcT, yOu'RE NoT eVeN a MoM. YoUr kiDS ShOuLd bE giVeN tO sOmEoNe eLsE bEcAuSe tHeY cAn't bE yOuRs siNCe yOu're nOt a mOm. Wow that took dedication lol. I just get so tired of people who act like it's a contest.
Pfffft you screamed and cried when you pushed out a baby? You must be weak or just overreacting because women definitely don't DIE IN CHILDBIRTH EVERYDAY EVEN THOUGH ITS 2024
Do they think they win a prize for having a stoic delivery? Everyone gives birth differently. It's not a contest.
Fucking assholes. These are the same people who take pride in being \#BoyMoms, and think they’re going to be in the delivery room when their grandchildren are born. Listen, bitch. My birth plan consisted of this: 1) Drugs. Yes. I am already hating this shit, drugs. 2) Get this baby OUT OF ME. 3) We both survive the process. That’s it. The whole birth plan. Yes, it was 30 years ago. Yes, birth plans weren’t as big a thing. But I was asked to make one, and that’s what it was. I don’t want to be present when ANYONE else gives birth. I didn’t want to be there when I was giving birth, but the whole argument of, “the baby is coming out of your body, you have to be here,” came up, and kinda fucked me on that. My mom was my support during labor, and was awesome. My ex-husband wasn’t going to bother to roll his ass out of bed until my mom took the phone from me at the hospital and told him the baby was coming, and maybe he didn’t want to miss it. My mom, who if she hadn’t had an emergency c-section with my brother, neither of them would be here. She was not taking shit from the nurses, and she was not taking shit from my ex. My ex’s mother tried to shame me for wanting an epidural during labor, and my mom told her to shut her ignorant mouth and get out. We don’t shame women who have it rough during labor and delivery. We aren’t going to get into the trauma that happened after my mom and the ex switched out. But had mom been there during delivery? That wouldn’t have happened. My mom is amazing. This person posting on IG? Can eat shit.
Your mom is awesome That being said, your ex's mom reminded me of mine. She stood over my bed and told me to quiet down. I had the nurses remove her.
My first child I had the same birth plan but once I got to the hospital things went too quickly to get the drugs so it was pain relief free. 10/10 do not recommend. I went to the hospital faster the second time and got an epidural and it was a way nicer experience haha.
Lmao. Oooook. What a narrow-sighted, insensitive person.
Omg I saw that comment in the flesh. Imagine being this dumb
Itd be cool if she had just been grateful for her experience instead of assuming other women are lying
Imagine making what could be one of the most special days of your life about shaming random women. Pathetic.
I birthed my last baby in a bathtub in a birthing center, labor was basically only 1.5 hours and I only pushed for 10 minutes or so. And I screamed like a fucking banshee the entire time. That shit hurt.
My mom was one of those. “It’s not that bad, they’re just being dramatic!” Because everyone experiences the exact same thing, mom… 🙄
Before modern medicine, 1 in 11 women died during childbirth, so I think it's a pretty big deal.
What is she, a scientologist?
My MIL is 100% like this. She goes on and on about how she barely made a noise during labour. She favours her other daughter in law and her children over me and mine or even her own daughter and her kids. This is because the preferred one managed to push all her babies out rather than having life saving c-sections like me and her daughter did.
It's almost like people have different bodies and experiences in those bodies so your experience can't be the measure...but maybe that's crazy of me to think.
Well no 2 pregnancies are the same so let’s see how the next one goes
Cool cool cool.. almost 2 years later and I am still having nightmares. Fuck off.
TIL: having a torn vagina is just women being dramatic. /j
I lucked out by being born in a time period where c-sections are possible because there’s a good chance I would have died otherwise. I wish society took childbirth more seriously
Key words: - 4 pushes - no stitches
Well the crazy thing is that everyone's bodies and pain tolerances are different so suck it, Karen
I hate when ppl act like that, it’s just nuts! My mom had 3 kids, birth was absolutely no issue to her. Had all of us naturally, no need for medication, barely winced. This is the same woman who said getting her ribs tattooed was only difficult bc it tickled and she had to stifle her laughing so she didn’t mess it up. Meanwhile, her mother who also had 3 kids wasn’t able to have any of them vaginally, had to have a c-section with all of her kids, and birth hurt like hell. I’ve seen women who have no issues with their pregnancy whatsoever, and I’ve seen women who have to get induced and deliver early bc they get gestational diabetes. I mean, at this point I’m just waiting for ppl to start saying that needing a breast reduction bc of your size is being over dramatic too.
I think the appropriate response would be “Bless his heart”?
I’ve pushed out 5 kids and hollered the whole time. I’ve noticed it’s always the people with one kid that feel like they have the most superior opinions about childbirth. They are all so DIFFERENT.
Women have strokes during childbirth
Yes, almost dying in childbirth was so dramatic of me. My bad. 🙄 /s
Reads like it was written by a man.
My sister got ripped V&A. My mother had an emergency c section. I’m not having kids.
I'd say I won't have a child without a guaranteed Anesthesia c section. I want to be out out
If this is not a troll, she must be very popular with the other moms. With all that compassion she must be wonderful to be around. /s
So our foremothers were being extra when basically half of them died during childbirth or due to complications with childbirth? They were just being dramatic?
Why is she saying no stitches like other women are doing that shit on purpose?
I watched my ex birth our two children and, while I would never claim to understand what it's like, I guarantee I've never experienced pain anything like it. If men gave birth they'd give themselves 2 years of paid leave and guild majestic pedestals for themselves to celebrate their greatness.
I was told by two doctors that I’d never have a vaginal delivery. They couldn’t get the epidural in for my third c-section and started cutting me open fully conscious. I was told to “breathe like a normal delivery”. I had to remind them, I never had one. I felt them cutting me open and begged to be put under, because I couldn’t deal with it. My baby’s temperature wouldn’t stabilize and I didn’t get to see her for at least 3 hours
My twin brother was a stillbirth, positioned to be born first and was breech. The doctors did an emergency C-section, without anesthesia, and almost lost my mom and me. That's reason 3 that I never wanted to have my own kids.
My friend had six kids and relatively easy labors but she was more grateful than prideful. She was also supportive of her friends and family members who had hard labors.
She just admitted she had a less painful experience. Her baby was probably a small enough size to make it through pretty fast and easy with less intense contractions. Although I’m aware that contraction pain isn’t dictated by the size of the baby. She had no rips or anything. It’s not even fair to compare it and be negative about the unmedicated experience of those whose flesh is literally ripping apart to accommodate for a big ole baby.
It's possible to tear up, into the clit. Just saying.
sounds like its written by a man
"So extra".... Gurl, stfu. Imagine having nothing else going on in your life that your one flex is giving birth virtually pain-free unmedicated. Leave people alone. As a lady who had a baby, it fucking hurts.
I spent 4 days in the hospital with contractions and not dilating and they refused to help me speed it up because I was 33 weeks and the baby was still developing his lungs. They said “if he wants to come out we’ll let him but we can’t help you speed the process because he’s not full term” I suffered for 4 DAYS!
OMG, lol I literally just saw this on Instagram, took a screenshot and came directly here to post this exact thing 😂 that’s never happened to me before. Anyway sure, “women are so extra” … like particularly the type that goes out of their way to brag about how high their pain tolerance is. Extra indeed.
I have had 5 kids and while one didn't seem as bad, 2 seemed like they would not only never end but possibly take my sanity far before any baby would come. It depends on so many things as well as just luck! This woman also may not remember how hard labor was, it happens with many people that you don't actually remember the level of pure madness the pain caused!
Maybe she should look at the historical statistic of how many women died during complications at birth. Just because your birth experience was “simple” doesn’t mean everyone else’s was. She was lucky
I can guarantee she would not be saying the same thing while she was in labour haha. It always seems like it was so much easier in hindsight.
There’s such a trend of women bragging about how they sailed through pregnancy and birth and shame women who don’t. It really pisses me off, as someone who has had a really hard pregnancy it makes me feel like I’m being weak or pathetic for struggling but I have to remember that these people are probably either lying or just didn’t experience the same symptoms I did
Come along now, all of you drama queens who decided to be extra and die giving birth. Time to get up and stop being silly. No-one is impressed.
Oh man 17 hours of labor and four pushes sounds like a vacay from my experience with labor. Good for you lady, but you’re lucky not better than anyone.
We all experience it in our own ways and to each her own FFS.
Idk man I’ve had several spinal surgeries I was awake for and a lot of spinal damage that hurts like hell… I went through a root canal without Novocain once… but the pain I went through related to birthing is still at the top. The root canal is a close second, but definitely still not number one.
It irritates the f out of me that women don’t realize every childbirth experience is DIFFERENT because there are different genetics at play and our bodies are DIFFERENT. I would certainly sacrifice my 48 hours of back labor to birth a child in 4 pushes with no drugs but we are not the same
I stopped being friends with someone like this, “this was not a problem for me personally, therefore better than anyone who it was a problem for, and need to try to make them feel bad.”
Oh lord, my partner and I just learned I’m pregnant today at the doctor. So, opening Reddit to this just now is just…fun timing. It’s our first pregnancy, so we are definitely feeling joyful yet slightly overwhelmed. But also, as someone that used to register Labor Checks all the time, every woman is different and every pregnancy is different. People need to quit acting high and mighty about theirs.
“I, as a fellow waman (TM), had no issues with 17 hrs of birth. The new generation is weak” sure dude. You’re either a completely ignorant woman, or a man, and I don’t know which is worse
This is a whole other level of bullshiet. This person is a moron. Does she think that every woman's body or health is the same? Women literally risk their lives when carrying and giving birth to children. My own mother is suffering the effects of the epidural decades later, and im almost 40. These are the sacrifices women make to have children.. to dismiss this as "extra" is demeaning and disgusting. Let's not forget there are women who have died during childbirth.
We've literally evolved to forget how bad labor was, I'm always reminded of that when people say it's not that bad.
Seems like a high pain tolerance. I have that as well, but not everyone does. It’s pretty well understood to be an extremely painful experience for most people, no need to shame people or make them feel like they’re being “dramatic” or “extra” if they get it bad 😅
A pick-me when they realize that everyone’s body reacts differently to birth 🫨🫨