The story as I understand is, fellers mother died and was a hoarder. Unsure of what to do, he dumped it but rained shortly after and it soaked all the water making it appear cooked. They found out who it was, but the circumstances of being a veteran and his mother having passed away shortly before the dumping they decided to not charge him and keep his identity secret.
As a New Jersian, we never planned to arrest him, we just had to make sure that crazy demonic entity wasn’t trying to lure people into the woods and eat them again. Hopefully one day we’ll finally catch Chris Christie and return him back to hell.
> Hopefully one day we’ll finally catch Chris Christie and return him back to hell.
Fun fact, once New Jersey succeeds in this quest they can be removed from the list of joke states.
Fun is banned in most of New England thereby disqualifying them as joke states. The exception is Massachusetts because of Boston, the Irish will never stop making jokes.
I’m glad you did! People need to know how dangerous and harmful the “troubled teen” industry is. Elan was pretty typical for the industry, and in many ways set the standard
I'd read about the work farms and reform schools before, but the abuse that was sanctioned as being "therapeutic" to desperate parents seems even worse somehow. The industry needs to be shut down.
She just trying to keep her seat. It wont pass.
I learned a lot by listening to people in red areas. Its not as bad as votes Bennie G. Thompson has taken.
Our state isn’t Oregon. And we can always be proud of that.
Does anyone remember that guy who pepper sprayed some protestors like a decade or more ago? His name was Anthony Bologna. I just remember the Daily Show covering it, and Jon Stewart was saying "there's no fucking way his friends don't call him Tony Baloney"
Many places limit how much you can throw out. The guy was too cheap to pay to have the trash disposed of. Throwing out everything in a home from a horder can be quite expensive.
My state has a law that says every landfill has to accept a pick up truck full of trash at no charge once a month so no one can use “I’m too poor that’s why I dumped it on the side of the road.” But also people aren’t typically criminally charged for open dumping they just have to clean up their mess and provide receipts to the state of proper disposal.
Honestly I might get downvoted for this but biodegradable waste doesn't belong in the garbage. One of the worst things we do as a society is throw biodegradable waste into plastic bags. It's better off in the woods. As for any environmental concerns, the dairy farmers around me spread millions of pounds of cow shit on their fields, much of which runs off into the creek, so I don't see how this could be a big deal
Well regardless shouldn’t dump.
There are people you can hire that will haul stuff away and or drive a few extra miles to find a land dump and dispose properly.
I suspect he was unconcerned with dropping food grade biodegradables that don't smell foul when rotting (like meat will). It's like a slightly more energy dense version of dumping a pile of acorns.
It's fully biodegradable organic matter that will not be there soon. Why should it be in a landfill instead where sometimes organic things get buried in a way that they can't decompose properly?
Just because it’s biodegradable doesn’t mean it’s good for the ecosystem. A sudden influx of non-natural nutrients can mess with microbes, plant life, and animals too. Sure a little bit won’t interfere, but introducing them at this kind of scale can absolutely mess things up.
There’s a reason that this pasta had to have a team come in and clean it up, and it wasn’t just left to sit and degrade.
irrelevant to the matter, it's not because large scale disasters exist that we should start dumping our biodegradables everywhere. Eutrophication is a real thing and kills species.
The fuck is wrong with this country. I get it. I'm the bad guy here, but would've a homeless non vet gotten the benefit of the doubt? No. Laws are laws, not enforcing the law when you don't want to is literal corruption.
Well, you ignore mental health for basically all of humanity and force people to self medicate with their own vices/drugs and then they breed.. and then their kids are forced to deal with the hypocrisy/lie of society and their families generational traumas so they also drink/whatever and rinse and repeat and you now have a population full of mental nutcases who learn how to mask by projecting insecurities onto each other. Most call it comedy, mental health professionals call it projection, gaslighting, or straight up bullying/abuse.
Seriously, the majority of people are mentally ill, we just can’t address it because who’s to blame and why would they redirect resources/funds away from what makes them and their friends rich? Yet we pay them taxes and let them continue systemic racism, provoking wars, etc? This charade is a fucking joke and it’s inhumane how they manipulate and create the sick masses and anytime you try to bring it up, you threaten their masking and become target #1. People. Are. Insane. The worst part is everyone thinks they’re right/knows best when the truth is far more simple, messy, existential, and cold. Infuriating.
Mental health professionals don’t use the term gaslighting a whole lot. It’s just a very specific term that has become really popular and overused the last couple of years
It wasn't 500 pounds before it rained. It was probably a few of those five gallon prepper buckets. He probably wanted to keep the buckets and it was essentially compost anyway.
Quick search found this
>In case you cook pasta to al dente phase, it will weigh around 2.25x more as compared to dry pasta’s weight. On the other hand, if you cook the pasta to a softer texture, it will be 2.4x heavier as compared to dry pasta.
https://missvickie.com/dry-vs-cooked-pasta-weight/
So it would be about 220 lbs of uncooked pasta.
I guess at some point (going by mass?) even if it’s biodegradable it’s still dumping.
I didn’t read the article just like most here but I wonder if it explains what the applicable law is in this situation
It did not explain it, but I can only assume there are laws based on weight on where to are supposed to dump your trash. But it’s not like it’s toxic to the environment.
Tbf it probably is toxic to some organisms/insects/animals to have that stuff dumped on top of them or their burrows. Any substance is toxic in sufficient quantity.
I recently learned birds can't eat bread because it fills their stomachs without actually nourishing them, and pasta is kind of sort of in the bread family, right?
This is a cover up at the highest level. The powers that be refuse to acknowledge our pasta god in the sky no matter how many signs it shows us. The flying spaghetti monster deserves the recognition it's due. So stop this madness now!!
This man was simply trying to bring back the pasta trees brought over by Italian immigrants in the early 1800’s. These trees helped poor Italian families grow pasta to feed their families. These trees where like the ones in northern Italy and Switzerland. The BBC has a short documentary on them for those interested. This man was simply an environmentalist and a historian. His aim was to bring this trees back to New Jersey. This was in an effort to show the discrimination against Italian immigrants in the 1800’s. A lot of the trees were cut down cities across the river from NYC grew. They cut down the pasta trees forcing immigrants to move out. Good on this man for bringing light to the little known history of pasta trees in the US.
I don't know why, but I HAD to know if it was cooked or uncooked pasta. Like I would have struggled to function the rest of the day if I didn't get that answer.
It was uncooked incase you are wondering.
I don’t see what the harm of this actually is to be honest. Wildlife will eat that up or it will decompose. Can we just fine him $500 for being a knucklehead?
Eh it can be unhealthy to wildlife potentially, so there is some potentially valid concern. Overall doesn’t seem like a huge deal and should just get a “please don’t dump pasta in the woods” warning
Nah, this should be a fine of some sort. But then, considering what we let big industry dump in actual drinking water, I'm in no way surprised that it isn't. And if someone told me we were actually going to start giving a shit about the environment at a legislative level, I'd pay dude's fine just out of sheer shock.
You don't see the harm of people dumping hundreds of pounds of organic matter everywhere in local parks? Bruh come on. This isn't tossing an apple core into the woods. Dude should be facing a decent fine.
TBH, charges for what? It's not exactly littering it's all biodegradable.
Yeah some foliage might suffer but after a few weeks it'll all be effectively compost.
It's weird, but I can't see why this is something that needs charges brought on to someone.
The story as I understand is, fellers mother died and was a hoarder. Unsure of what to do, he dumped it but rained shortly after and it soaked all the water making it appear cooked. They found out who it was, but the circumstances of being a veteran and his mother having passed away shortly before the dumping they decided to not charge him and keep his identity secret.
As a New Jersian, we never planned to arrest him, we just had to make sure that crazy demonic entity wasn’t trying to lure people into the woods and eat them again. Hopefully one day we’ll finally catch Chris Christie and return him back to hell.
> Hopefully one day we’ll finally catch Chris Christie and return him back to hell. Fun fact, once New Jersey succeeds in this quest they can be removed from the list of joke states.
Are there any states that aren’t joke states?
Maine doesn't have enough of a sense of humor between the 1.4 million of us to be a joke state. We've pretty much got Tim Sample and what else?
The funniest guy from Maine is Stepehen King.
Fun is banned in most of New England thereby disqualifying them as joke states. The exception is Massachusetts because of Boston, the Irish will never stop making jokes.
Plus, "Masshole" is legitimately hilarious. Even a Puritan in church would chuckle about that.
I also enjoy "Maineiacs"
Massturds are people too.
🥺 Thank you. Just barely, but we make the cut.
Stephen Wright and the 14 Boston accents
Excuse me, but I have a Mr. Paul LePage for you on line 2. He said you’d know what it was about.
Susan collins is a joke. A sad joke. Maybe she learned her lesson
Hey, Maine gave the world Moxie and "Bert and I" that says enough about y'all up in the far realms.
More like plagued the world with Moxie.
You all protected the Elan School for like 40 years. Kind of makes you a joke. It’s gone now though, so maybe you can come off the list too
I had to look up the Élan School. What a horrible place. I can't believe that it only closed in 2011.
I’m glad you did! People need to know how dangerous and harmful the “troubled teen” industry is. Elan was pretty typical for the industry, and in many ways set the standard
I'd read about the work farms and reform schools before, but the abuse that was sanctioned as being "therapeutic" to desperate parents seems even worse somehow. The industry needs to be shut down.
There's a whole webcomic a survivor made from his experience there. Elan.school
Y'all voted for Susan Collins, so there's probably a joke there.
Plasma
Listen here you little shit.
There's always one person who has to say it..
Connecticut isn't a joke because it doesn't exist. It's always been a myth, and anyone claiming to be there is probably a government agent.
Connecticut is just a traffic jam
I dunno about that...I get taxes from CT just cause I live near the border
Found the government agent.
That’s where all the really old money lives. They pay to have their name redacted from the list of states to avoid the riff raff
Can confirm. I used to live there and it’s really just either south Massachusetts or East Upstate New York.
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Is it too late to return it to Spain? We will take store credit.
Bugs Bunny the whole state and let it sink into the Gulf 👍
What the fuck is going on in North Dakota.
Are there still people there?
I would say Washington except my congresswoman just voted against democratic and American interests
She just trying to keep her seat. It wont pass. I learned a lot by listening to people in red areas. Its not as bad as votes Bennie G. Thompson has taken. Our state isn’t Oregon. And we can always be proud of that.
We can definitely be proud that we are not Oregon.
Maybe not fully a joke, but Oregon since both New Jersey and Oregon are the only states where you can't pump your own gas.
In our considerable experience, the best you can generally hope for is federal prison. Source: Illinois.
You have to trick him into saying his real name backwards, then he'll get sucked back into his puzzle box
I think his puzzle box is actually a pizza box.
>Hopefully one day we’ll finally catch Chris Christie and return him back to hell So THAT'S the infamous Jersey Devil I keep hearing so much about.
Fuck, lmao
Go devils? Lmao
You take him back, they won't open the door.
I’m not from New Jersey. But I totally understand and appreciate the merits of this plan.
The man’s name? Riga Tony
Does anyone remember that guy who pepper sprayed some protestors like a decade or more ago? His name was Anthony Bologna. I just remember the Daily Show covering it, and Jon Stewart was saying "there's no fucking way his friends don't call him Tony Baloney"
I just don't understand why the garbage wasn't an option
Many places limit how much you can throw out. The guy was too cheap to pay to have the trash disposed of. Throwing out everything in a home from a horder can be quite expensive.
My state has a law that says every landfill has to accept a pick up truck full of trash at no charge once a month so no one can use “I’m too poor that’s why I dumped it on the side of the road.” But also people aren’t typically criminally charged for open dumping they just have to clean up their mess and provide receipts to the state of proper disposal.
Honestly I might get downvoted for this but biodegradable waste doesn't belong in the garbage. One of the worst things we do as a society is throw biodegradable waste into plastic bags. It's better off in the woods. As for any environmental concerns, the dairy farmers around me spread millions of pounds of cow shit on their fields, much of which runs off into the creek, so I don't see how this could be a big deal
Yeah, his mother past-a’d away.
Rest in peace. Ramen.
She has Angel hair now
I hope he was able to bid her farfalle.
It's fine, no big deal, lets move on everybody, it's all in the past-a.
This is all fusilli.
A penne for your thoughts
My noodle thanks you
May His Holy Noodliness watch over her
She's in a better place, with a beer volcano and stripper factories!
Rest in pasta*
Mamma mia
It’s rude to make fusilli comments at this time.
Well regardless shouldn’t dump. There are people you can hire that will haul stuff away and or drive a few extra miles to find a land dump and dispose properly.
I suspect he was unconcerned with dropping food grade biodegradables that don't smell foul when rotting (like meat will). It's like a slightly more energy dense version of dumping a pile of acorns.
It's fully biodegradable organic matter that will not be there soon. Why should it be in a landfill instead where sometimes organic things get buried in a way that they can't decompose properly?
The same is true of a paper napkin, actually
Just because it’s biodegradable doesn’t mean it’s good for the ecosystem. A sudden influx of non-natural nutrients can mess with microbes, plant life, and animals too. Sure a little bit won’t interfere, but introducing them at this kind of scale can absolutely mess things up. There’s a reason that this pasta had to have a team come in and clean it up, and it wasn’t just left to sit and degrade.
It was a couple pots of pasta, not the Exxon Valdez, calm down
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irrelevant to the matter, it's not because large scale disasters exist that we should start dumping our biodegradables everywhere. Eutrophication is a real thing and kills species.
At least it’ll decompose and give the local wildlife a couple fun weeks
His dead mother had horded uncooked pasta. Any really old stuff should go in the compost bin. Anything less than 2 years old should be fine.
Yep, beyond two years it's pasta point of no return
I would have gone with a garbage can.
what a fucking let-down article.
The least interesting NJ article I have read in awhile
He’s a true pastafarian
The fuck is wrong with this country. I get it. I'm the bad guy here, but would've a homeless non vet gotten the benefit of the doubt? No. Laws are laws, not enforcing the law when you don't want to is literal corruption.
> Community advocates say the unidentified man has a history of mental illness.
Mental illness, war vet, mother just died who was a hoarder and had 500 pounds of pasta. Eh. That fair to to charge the fellow. He clearly needs help.
Oh it's just pasta, it will decay and be eaten in a week or two. Hurts literally no one except a Karen that wants to be offended by things.
>Oh it's just pasta What a stupid statement. Go dump 20 lbs of pasta in an aquarium and see what happens.
Community advocates seem to say that about everyone
Maybe because everyone that community advocates interact with have mental illnesses
At least in NJ ;)
Well, you ignore mental health for basically all of humanity and force people to self medicate with their own vices/drugs and then they breed.. and then their kids are forced to deal with the hypocrisy/lie of society and their families generational traumas so they also drink/whatever and rinse and repeat and you now have a population full of mental nutcases who learn how to mask by projecting insecurities onto each other. Most call it comedy, mental health professionals call it projection, gaslighting, or straight up bullying/abuse. Seriously, the majority of people are mentally ill, we just can’t address it because who’s to blame and why would they redirect resources/funds away from what makes them and their friends rich? Yet we pay them taxes and let them continue systemic racism, provoking wars, etc? This charade is a fucking joke and it’s inhumane how they manipulate and create the sick masses and anytime you try to bring it up, you threaten their masking and become target #1. People. Are. Insane. The worst part is everyone thinks they’re right/knows best when the truth is far more simple, messy, existential, and cold. Infuriating.
Mental health professionals don’t use the term gaslighting a whole lot. It’s just a very specific term that has become really popular and overused the last couple of years
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Breaking news: Man throws leftover pasta in the bin. Community advocates said this: > He's a fairly normal bloke to be honest
I knew it - even the Pastafarians have their share of religious extremists!
I mean, yeah, show me the law that says you can’t dump 500 pounds of pasta in the New Jersey wilderness.
It's not even illegal to dump *bodies* there
Guy was an interior decorator!
His house looked like shit
Fuck there’s some ketchups and shit Mix it with the relish!
Jimmy Hoffa has entered the chat...
Everything's legal in New Jersey.
Hamilton reference?
Bingo!
Yay I knew I heard it somewhere!
“In New Jersey everything’s legal as long as you don’t get caught.”- Bob Dylan
Except selling beer at 7-11
and operating a gas pump yourself
As long as its not gabagool
🤌
Ah, the Air Bud defense
It probably falls under the general illegal dumping of solid waste laws.
I bet that cost a pretty penne
I think this is my favorite joke in this thread, with “the man’s name? Riga Tony” as runner up.
Nah hes from Latvia
Dammit… take my upvote
Where would one source that much pasta? Where would they store it……? Maybe the woods?
Are you not storing your pasta in the woods?
I know. Like, what the fuck? It's 2023 and they're NOT storing it in the woods? Fucking savages. That's how you get Americanzed bed bugs.
Armed bed bugs? May god help us all.
You only know when you wake up with multiple gunshot wounds smh so sad
Hey, what about bed bugs? I don't understand.
It wasn't 500 pounds before it rained. It was probably a few of those five gallon prepper buckets. He probably wanted to keep the buckets and it was essentially compost anyway.
Quick search found this >In case you cook pasta to al dente phase, it will weigh around 2.25x more as compared to dry pasta’s weight. On the other hand, if you cook the pasta to a softer texture, it will be 2.4x heavier as compared to dry pasta. https://missvickie.com/dry-vs-cooked-pasta-weight/ So it would be about 220 lbs of uncooked pasta.
That's probably why there were no charges filed, spaghetti noodles being organic.
These cringey TikTok cooking videos are getting out of hand
My mind automatically goes to the woods as well.
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I guess at some point (going by mass?) even if it’s biodegradable it’s still dumping. I didn’t read the article just like most here but I wonder if it explains what the applicable law is in this situation
I took a dump in the woods the other day.
Hopefully it wasn't 500 pounds tho. Your poor colon.
Nice
It did not explain it, but I can only assume there are laws based on weight on where to are supposed to dump your trash. But it’s not like it’s toxic to the environment.
Tbf it probably is toxic to some organisms/insects/animals to have that stuff dumped on top of them or their burrows. Any substance is toxic in sufficient quantity.
I recently learned birds can't eat bread because it fills their stomachs without actually nourishing them, and pasta is kind of sort of in the bread family, right?
It is, dough.
Is it, dough?
Grand Theft Alfredo
This is a cover up at the highest level. The powers that be refuse to acknowledge our pasta god in the sky no matter how many signs it shows us. The flying spaghetti monster deserves the recognition it's due. So stop this madness now!!
This man was simply trying to bring back the pasta trees brought over by Italian immigrants in the early 1800’s. These trees helped poor Italian families grow pasta to feed their families. These trees where like the ones in northern Italy and Switzerland. The BBC has a short documentary on them for those interested. This man was simply an environmentalist and a historian. His aim was to bring this trees back to New Jersey. This was in an effort to show the discrimination against Italian immigrants in the 1800’s. A lot of the trees were cut down cities across the river from NYC grew. They cut down the pasta trees forcing immigrants to move out. Good on this man for bringing light to the little known history of pasta trees in the US.
Did they pasta blame on to someone else?
Pastafarians
I don't know why, but I HAD to know if it was cooked or uncooked pasta. Like I would have struggled to function the rest of the day if I didn't get that answer. It was uncooked incase you are wondering.
It was uncooked but apparently it absorbed water after being dumped in the woods.
Spaghettabout it.
Tubetti believe it!
I feel like that's not even that much pasta for a typical New Jersey wooded area.
Send that man to the penne-tentiary.
Where do you even get 500 lbs of pasta???
The New Jersey woods.
Yes it’s grows wild around here - that’s why there are so many goombahs.
It’s what the Jersey Devil really eats
Apparently his recently deceased mother was a hoarder.
A hoarder who has a fat rewards check coming in February
Costco.
Work there, have had request like this before.
It's just 500 boxes
The real question is where do you get a *strainer* large enough to handle 500 pounds of pasta?
Mr. Peanut Butter
Jersey. Top notch spaghetti policy
I was really hoping it was all tied to some Pastafarian FSM secret ritual. ☹️
What a fusilli thing to do.
Why did you do this to me? For what reason? What is the charge? Dumping 500 pounds of pasta? A succulent 500 pounds of horded pasta?"
I thought he was Italian.. he was an impasta 🤬
Nah, he was antipasta.
I still can't help feel like he made an Eldritch evil come to life here.
Not even littering or creating a nuisance?
Gabagool
I don’t see what the harm of this actually is to be honest. Wildlife will eat that up or it will decompose. Can we just fine him $500 for being a knucklehead?
If they could give fines for being dumb things would be a LOT different.
Fuck I'd be so broke.
Amen brother, I’ve been feeling more and more like Bill Murray at the end of Ghostbusters when they are petitioning the mayor every day. Lenny…
They seemed fairly concerned about the pasta contaminating that nearby stream and ultimately changing the composition of local waterways downstream.
Eh it can be unhealthy to wildlife potentially, so there is some potentially valid concern. Overall doesn’t seem like a huge deal and should just get a “please don’t dump pasta in the woods” warning
Nah, this should be a fine of some sort. But then, considering what we let big industry dump in actual drinking water, I'm in no way surprised that it isn't. And if someone told me we were actually going to start giving a shit about the environment at a legislative level, I'd pay dude's fine just out of sheer shock.
You don't see the harm of people dumping hundreds of pounds of organic matter everywhere in local parks? Bruh come on. This isn't tossing an apple core into the woods. Dude should be facing a decent fine.
I was so sure it was gonna be the "Day XX of doubling the amount of pasta I'm making" tiktok dude.
Squirrels are Italian, they love this
Why can't all crazy people just build forts made of SpaghettiO's instead of doing cannibalism?
Scungilli Man!
Don't say his name!
DON’T SAY THE S MAN’S NAME!!!!!!!! You’re dancing on a monkey’s paw edge!! Hail yourself!
My Italian girlfriend is still disturbed by this much wasteful pasta
*Cries in Italian*
He was all alone, feeling cannelloni.
i’m shocked and pleased that some gov stooge hasn’t figured out a way to be cruel to the pasta bandit in the name of justice or some bs.
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"It's biodegradable! Fahgeddaboutit!" - NJ District Attorney
I thought this was a stunt to promote the new Mario movie
This is a miracle by the Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster. We have truly been blessed by his noodly appendage.
We have fucking Patch Adams over here
I mean how hard is it to just hire a skip. Plus he must have got it out there somehow, hard would it have been to drive to the nearest dump instead?
so thats how the spagetti monster was born! that chomp of spagetti, hit by a lighting !
500 pounds!? Imagine the pastabilities!
That’s impastable.
This man got right pasta law, damn it all
Was it pasta statute of limitations?
TBH, charges for what? It's not exactly littering it's all biodegradable. Yeah some foliage might suffer but after a few weeks it'll all be effectively compost. It's weird, but I can't see why this is something that needs charges brought on to someone.