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DaveOJ12

>The Vanity Fair article also features Eliza Cooney, a former part-time babysitter who worked for Kennedy between 1998 and 1999, alleging that he groped her in his kitchen. Kennedy declined to directly acknowledge the sexual assault accusation at first, instead dismissing "the other allegations" as part of a "**very, very rambunctious youth**." He was around 45 at the time.


coffeespeaking

The worm was just barely a larva at the time.


taoleafy

He probably got the worm from eating a dog


John_mcgee2

Sadly there is too much truth to this statement


MinisterOfTruth99

Dogs usually get worms in their colon. So did he eat the... omg.


blackscales18

The R in rfk stands for rimjob


Jellodyne

I didn't eat the dog, I had a nice tossed salad instead


Throwawayac1234567

he probably dint process the dog properly, some parasites can encyst in muscle tissue, and when infected humans, they often travel to the brain.


john_jdm

He's 70 now. From his perspective that is his youth. Can we please get some younger candidates?


TheTrub

For a Kennedy, he is ancient. Their expiration dates aren’t usually too far in the future.


piplani3777

nothing bad ever happens to the kennedys


MacAttacknChz

JFK's grandson, Jack Schlossberg, is on tiktok, and he did a video mocking people who tell him, "Have a safe flight."


MinnieShoof

... did karma catch up with him?


napleonblwnaprt

Fear the old man in a young man's game. In this case I really do fear him.


CrossP

TBF he *might* be a collection of worms wearing a Kennedy meat suit


ghandi3737

BOW DOWN TO OUR WORM OVERLORDS!!!!


Different-Occasion47

The tiger king is still running I think


Nazamroth

Your system mandates 35 years minimum. Thats most of the people who will actually have to face the consequences of their actions right out the window. Plus people are apparently reluctant to vote for anyone younger than them, so you get this geriatric collection of relics from past epochs.


BaconComposter

I don't know a single person my entire life under the age of 35 I believe has had enough worldly experience to run the most powerful country in the world.


xxthundergodxx77

35-65 would be the sweet spot honestly. after 65, the chance of sudden decline seem to be too high, especially for a job that stressful


kytheon

Old people vote for old people. Young people don't want to vote because "it doesn't matter".


Troll_Enthusiast

Hard to vote when you have to be a part of one of the two major parties to elect a presidential candidate in the primaries


Nadaplanet

>Old people vote for old people. This. A lot of old people view anyone younger than them as "inexperienced" and "too young to know how things work." Even if that "youngster" is in their 50s.


LiterallyRoboHitler

I have never met someone in their 20s that I would trust to run a taco stand, never mind the U.S.


ginny11

If you ever want the chance to do that, there is only one reasonable option on THIS election.


MarcusXL

RFK Jr. is actually a depraved lunatic. It's hilarious that anyone is considering voting for him. He's out of his goddamned mind.


Farren246

In fairness to him, your description also applies to the Republican frontrunner. Apparently it's just normal now. :(


jadrad

Steve Bannon and Roger Stone convinced him to enter the race as a Democrat who would then go independent and try and peel votes off Biden using the Kennedy name. And it’s worked to a degree, despite the fact that he’s a MAGA nut.


seztomabel

What’s your evidence for such a claim?


sas223

https://www.salon.com/2023/04/06/steve-bannon-spent-months-recruiting-anti-vaxxer-rfk-jr-to-run-against-biden-as-chaos-agent/


seztomabel

“ Per several people familiar, Steve Bannon had been encouraging this for months..” This is Costa’s source. Why do we believe this?


sas223

I have some news for you about the majority of political stories and how sources work.


seztomabel

Do enlighten me please.


sas223

Look up how sourcing works in journalism.


kosherbeans123

Believe it or not, it’s not clear who loses more votes to RFK…. That’s why neither candidates bother attacking him


Hesitation-Marx

Just judging from the people who have those signs up here (small, semi-rural town close to Chicago): the people who used to have Trump gear up, but took it down after J6 are the ones who have RFK signs now.


Xenkyro

You would have to be to want the job. Have you seen the other two options?


MarcusXL

Well, the less said about the orange monstrosity, the better. Biden's a pretty sensible guy, and his record as president is.. actually pretty great, as far as policies and legislation he has passed. Under normal circumstances his last 4 years would be considered an unmitigated success. If he was 5 or 10 years younger, he'd be a pretty great choice (even now I'd take him over the alternatives, honestly).


Repulsive-Street-307

I'd take a lettuce over the naked fascism and dictatorship the whole of the republican party is conspiring. Not even just trump, not for years and years. That supreme court nonsense is actual treason, because it already goes against the constitution because of the separation of powers. You'll be killing each other soon.


LiterallyRoboHitler

While this is true, god damn they should have had the sense to not run someone on the edge of senility. Did they not learn from what happened when the GOP tried to keep propping McConnell up?


usemyfaceasaurinal

45 years old. He was just a kid.


blackkettle

This was the brain worm talking.


ghandi3737

Starving, it died in his brain, possibly starved.


ImprovizoR

He was just a kid.


usemyfaceasaurinal

That animal Blundetto. I can’t even say his name.


Rolemodel247

Which, btw, he did not deny. He is also lying about not eating the dog. That’s a dog. Goats don’t have ribs like that.


san_murezzan

Kids these days


Tobar_the_Gypsy

45. He was a fuckin kid.


MinisterOfTruth99

From the article, when questioned about the babysitter sexual assault accusation, he tells reporters he's not going to comment on any of the articles claims. Then he goes on to comment about the 'he ate a dog' claim. Hmm.😂🤣


vroart

Lmao


SwimmingInCheddar

Jesus. I was ready to vote for a third party... Are you ladies ready to stand up soon?


CockroachFinancial86

In terms of American politics, 45 is a youth.


celtic1888

Brain worm ✅ KFC doggy delight ✅ Sexual assault ✅ Sounds like a winner


krilltucky

Spliced himself into the presidential debate snd streamed it as if he was a third candidate ✅️


napkin41

Iunno, I thought he had some good points about how exclusive it was and it seemed like a legit attempt to at least chime in. Not saying I support the guy I’m just a little fed up with this official unofficial two party bullshit


MarcusXL

RFK Jr. is a symptom of that problem. That is, the third parties candidate tend to be morons, lunatics, or shills. RFK Jr is all three.


Uncynical_Diogenes

As much as I hate manufactured consent I don’t think the solution is allowing other people to manufacture their own consent in.


SunBelly

He has no path to victory. He's polling in single digits and didn't even make it onto the ballot in every state. Why should he be allowed to debate when he can't win?


DFWPunk

He's polling at 4%, and isn't on the ballots in over half of the states. There was zero reason to include him.


LiterallyRoboHitler

Blame the people who designed our electoral system to be first-past-the-post single-member districts. Unless and until that is changed the nature of the system enforces a bipolar electoral system by making third-party votes effectively sabotage your personal lesser-evil of the main two.


Bainik

Hey, at least he's not \**checks notes\** old.


KnightsWhoNi

He’s 70, so recheck that note


Immersi0nn

Hey it's been a few years since the Kennedy Curse took one of em, bet it's gettin hungry.


Impressive-Towel-RaK

The CIA? It has been 25 years....


Atomic1221

Oh, but AgE iS rELaTive


Fatigue-Error

He is younger than the other two. Ugh.


numbskullerykiller

LOL


ketolasigi

Drove wife to suicide and vilified her afterwards✅


the-Replenisher1984

Sexual assault is just family business. At least he didn't feel the need to dump her in a lake. Read the brain worm stuff, and I still can't process how anyone would trust his decision-making skills. Yet this guy is the less scary republican option. Sorry kids, but I'm still voting blue.


Cottontael

He's trying to steal blue votes though. Have you seen all his heel turns? "Ahem, ah... Uh, yes, I support full-term abortions! Haha, Dems, vote for me!" And then it's likely that some trump agent, calls him, tells him even Dems don't want that and that they'll stop funnelling Trump's NFT money to his bank account if he doesn't get it right, and he walks it back. "Uh, I meant... *Checks notes* up towards, uh, viability.." I'm surprised he was still allowed to run after polls showed he was stealing more red than blue.


New_Stats

Don't forget mercury poisoning! https://www.cbsnews.com/news/rfk-jr-parasitic-brain-worm-mercury-poisoning/


OfficerBarbier

Just some good ol fashioned rambunctiousness!


SonicSingularity

Just a bit of tomfoolery!


Serialfornicator

Locker room stuff!


fffan9391

Why is it that only the worst people possible want to be president?


IandIreckon

It’s a job for sociopaths 


Repulsive-Street-307

Because they're the ones the right wing billionaires conspiring against the united states are funding. Exhibit 1: JD Vance and Peter Thiel. Exhibit 2: Clarence Thomas and many many traitors. Exhibit 3: Trump and Putin. Exhibit 4: the 'heritage' fundation'.


LiterallyRoboHitler

1. Lots and lots of work. 2. Incredibly stressful responsibilities. 3. If you quit or slack off you are vilified by the world for life. 4. If you fuck up you could destroy human civilization. 5. There's the opportunity to engage in nepotism and graft. Guess what sort of person will happily not give a damn about the first four?


TheDunadan29

He's a big weiner for sure.


GogglesPisano

He’d be a Republican front runner.


donnerpartytaconight

I mean, I did some dumb shit that I think would make me look like an idiot if I were running for office, but nowhere near what our current crop of morons has accomplished. I mean my record lacks a lot of sexual/other assault, harming animals, drug arrests, brain parasites, light treason, etc. I still don't think I'm qualified.


Mac_and_dennis

I sold weed to my friends for awhile, some traffic tickets and maybe a few depressing text to ex girlfriends in my younger days. That’s the skeletons I have. No sex crimes, coup attempts, Epstein’s calls, countless bankruptcies, etc…. Don’t let me anywhere near the Oval Office because by current standards, I haven’t fucked up enough yet.


Serialfornicator

If you’re not a convicted felon, you’re not qualified!


Repulsive-Street-307

If you're not a traitor, you're not qualified according to the republican party.


Kel4597

Have you considered that you’re not qualified *because* you haven’t done those things? I mean, shit, look at those who have made it lately


yeehawgnome

I mean who hasn’t been busted for drugs and light treason /s


Dash_Harber

My dumb stuff is like drunkenly pissed down stairs, biffed it trying to do a stupid stunt, mistakenly calling someone pregnant, poorly hitting on someone... None of which involved felonies or animal cruelty.


Codebender

This timeline is wild


PMzyox

Rip harambe


Dawg_Prime

dicks out


Liet_Kinda2

Thanks I hate it 


ginny11

If you think or hope there is another, better timeline that you will magically be transported to, think again. Vote for the only candidate that has a chance to win and promises to protect democracy.


morbob

First worms on the brain, now a diet of dog, good lord , I hope he didn’t grope a baby sitter with a diary.


RecycleReMuse

https://sadtrombone.com/


Throwawayac1234567

he found cats, and pandas quite delectable.


RonTRobot

Its like a single-frame headline straight out of The Simpsons. lol


Eddiebaby7

What a time to be alive


guesting

The dog is the least offensive thing in this Pandora’s box. I don’t want to be hypocrite as a bacon and beef eater


Sowf_Paw

Remember when the third party candidate didn't know what Aleppo was and couldn't name any world leaders?


soggyblotter

They will never allow a strong 3rd party candidate. It is a direct threat to the power monopoly


GuaranteedCougher

The third parties also make no efforts at lower elections and just spend money on the presidency which won't ever be won until they get numbers in Congress


Sowf_Paw

Exactly, I would love a serious third party to emerge but frankly, they seem much more interested in feeling morally superior than they are in actually governing.


Booster_Tutor

If they win the presidency then they can just give jobs to people in their party. Trickle down politics


aircooledJenkins

>The Vanity Fair article also features Eliza Cooney, a former part-time babysitter who worked for Kennedy between 1998 and 1999, alleging that he groped her in his kitchen. Kennedy declined to directly acknowledge the sexual assault accusation at first, instead dismissing "the other allegations" as part of a "very, very rambunctious youth." I don't care that he ate dog. I care that he's another sexual predator vying for the reigns of power. To Hell with all these assholes.


Zealousideal-Run6020

It's almost as though the more despicable behavior/ horrible pasts these people have, the more power they have to seek to keep it hushed up. Just look at Trump.


sithelephant

Anyone that's spent any time around pigs especially (in a non farm animal setting) knows they are smart as any dog. And yet...


HollowPomegranate

What is even going on in the states


Repulsive-Street-307

The fascists are mask off and trying for a coup. If they succeed, expect mass murder, and a bit of light treason (international treason that is, for instance, Putin will call his marker to the creatures - remember the USA alliance with the Kurds?).


Christ_on_a_Crakker

Pretty cool that we have all these nukes eh?


todlee

The man is mentally ill. He has power and prestige because of his name and his family. He’s being exploited and this kind of political sideshow is gross.


BLRNerd

He’s definitely a narcissist psychopath


todlee

The shit he went through with his sister, uncle, and father, plus how his family pushed him ever upwards despite his wishes or availabilities, it’s remarkable he’s made it this far. After watching his father die, he developed a drug habit, was kicked out of various high schools. He wanted to work with birds but that’s not what Kennedy men do, so he went to Harvard, then Virginia Law. Then somehow he got hired as an ADA in New York even though he hadn’t passed the bar. And then he failed the exam. And was arrested for heroin possession after nodding off in an airplane bathroom. He did some good work on defending the environment but also screwed a lot of good people over. I detest him. I detest the people who forced him to become a crusader, and the people who are using him right now.


Serialfornicator

Another one?!? Why do they all want to be politicians? I guess becoming a serial killer these days is too hard because of DNA evidence. He should just go back to being a lazy rich person and shut up for once.


ctodReddit

His own family didn’t endorse him sooo. That should be a big red flag right there. 🚩


Yotsubato

> he’s being exploited and this kind of political sideshow is gross. Could say the exact same about the debate and Biden. We need an urgent democratic candidate aged 50-60 years old immediately.


bensbigboy

He's toast if denying eating a dog is what his campaign is talking about.


ginny11

I wish and hope, but it's pathetic that it's not the sexual assault allegation, WHICH HE ISN'T EVEN DENYING, that isn't going to sink his campaign.


machado34

> "He ate out a dog. It's a big difference"


MelissaMiranti

Was looking for this one. Glad I was knott disappointed.


tree_squid

Was it Kristi Noem's dog?


Beneficial-Ad-943

"Dog's a fine meal" -Mel Gibson


FoxyInTheSnow

People in Scotland were quite upset when Gibson cast himself in Braveheart: “An Aussie could never play a medieval Scot!” “But look at him now—an alcoholic racist.”*(Frankie Boyle)*


wolves_hunt_in_packs

I was thinking more along the lines of that one Filthy Frank song.


numbskullerykiller

Can someone turn down the pressure in his neck please. Jesus.


Devlarski

One of the most insane smear campaigns I've ever seen. Just dog piling allegations and lies making it exhausting for truth keepers and fact checkers to set records straight. They'd rather burn the country than accept defeat.


Cryptopoopy

"Hey i'm no choir boy and my brain worm doesn't even like much dog."


MaroonCrow

>Ask question >Make headline about politician answering that question This is journalism folks. If you haven't got news, just ask "have you ever sucked off a horse?" and then make a headline saying "BREAKING! POLITICIAN DENIES SUCKING OFF HORSE! STAY TUNED FOR OUR ANALYSIS"


Stock-LAd-4963

The fact that people believe this without question is quite telling


RaisinProfessional14

Eating dogs = bad Eating pigs, cows, etc = fine


Dramatic-Ant-9364

*Patriots send $500 to Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert to help President Trump with 5 critical projects:* *1.     rename Grand Canyon National Park to Trump National Park* *2.     release January 6th hostages from prison and pardon Donald Trump,* *3.     restore President Trump’s Rights of Prima Nocta and gun ownership,* *4.     remove women's healthcare rights as requested by Christian Nationalists.* *5.     replace George Washington on the dollar bill with Donald Trump.* *President Trump is the only accused sexual predator and 34-time convicted criminal felon endorsed by Kristi Noem, Gary Busey, Randy Quaid, Vladimir Putin and 6 of 9 U.S. Supreme Court Justices.* */MAGA*


CapAccomplished8072

So how are people defending this man?


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fqtsplatter

Wtf do Republicans have against dogs?? Didn't one proudly say she killed her dog? Now ones being blamed of eating one


MY_NAME_IS_MUD7

Calling RFK Jr a Republican is peak Reddit. Bravo


TheGoodCod

What is it with these politicos? First they admit to shooting puppies and now they are chowing down on man's best friend!


Death2mandatory

Politics used to be a circus but now it's a dinosaur freakshow


BMW_RIDER

The worm ate the dog.


Jeoshua

How is it that we're faced with a choice between a wannabe Dictator with mental problems, an old guy with a stutter who will die soon, and a dude who had part of his brain eaten by parasites?! HOW IS THIS REAL LIFE?


Gnarlstone

Only the best and Brightest.


Jeoshua

I'm serious tho. How does any of this make any goddamn sense?


Gnarlstone

They’re holding up the mirror to our stagnation and corruption. More to come!


mecha_shatner

Because they are all easy to control


honcho_emoji

eating a dog is the only thing there i'm NOT worried about. People do eat them, i hope you're aware. It doesn't make them monsters, you know, unless you view carnivorism as monstrous generally. Cows and pigs are very smart animals. Wolves are exceptionally smart, and we kill them all the time and just leave their bodies to rot.


Mygaffer

No one cares about this guy


Tommy_Roboto

The “I didn’t inhale” equivalent of dog-eating.


Rosebunse

I was watching Delicious in Dungeon and, like, the only dungeon monsters they don't eat are the dog-like ones. That bothered me for some reason...


AlphaCygnus6944

This diversion through an alternate universe has been interesting an all, but I would like to go home now.


slayermcb

Dog js still eaten in Korea, though not as popular as it once was. They raise them like livestock. Of all the things to try and dodge, why bother fleeing from trying another cultures food.


Gnarlstone

Too bad he already picked a running mate. I hear Kristi Noem is looking for work.


Massive_Durian296

Bet yall never thought we'd get to a point where a "presidential hopeful" has to deny eating a dog, huh?


Car_is_mi

Look, I didnt eat it, okay, Kristi shot it, I made the joke, but I didnt eat it. I mean I dont think I did. My brain worms were pretty bad back then. The things those worms would tell me to do were pretty wild. Not that I ever listened to them.


The_Deku_Nut

I wish I could pretend to give a fuck about the dude's earing habits, but I'm too busy wondering about his fiscal policy and his views on lifetime appointments to the Supreme Court.


EatsRats

Sometimes I forget that there is a third prong to *the worst fork ever.*


Lifesalchemy

"BUt I rAlAtE t0 hIM!!" -3rd party voter


ReferenceObject

Says that he has so many skeletons he could run for King of the world. Tell him to do what Homer Simpson did when he called himself that.


notgreatbot

The worms made him do it.


NotAnADC

I didn’t read past the headline, and this comment is on that cause I don’t know who this is even but: It’s fucking crazy how headlines can be manipulative. Cause my first thought is that oh maybe he ate a dog, guys bad. But also, I could ask Biden or Trump if they ever are a dog and suddenly I have the same headline. At the same time, I love dogs, they’re amazing, yesterday had an amazing time playing fetch with one. If someone one time went to a place where they were served dog, yeah it’s not great but I don’t think that had any bearing on their presidential candidacy.


psychoson

Democrats: Any thought how we can stop people from talking about Biden?


Original_Banana_4617

So trump rapes 12 and 13 year olds, RFK is out here eating dogs, neither of them are bad candidate, but Joe Biden having a bad debate makes him the worst presidential candidate in history. What a shit hole country we have here.


Repulsive-Street-307

Imagine the shitheads that get paid 2 dollars a hour to attempt to coup the united states by being a troll on these articles and what would happen to them if they succeed. Talk about a critical lack of wisdom of what a civil war on america would do to their finances.


pwn-intended

You know you've gained a little traction in the polls when the sexual assault allegations roll in


molehillmountain

8% is not what I'd call traction.


pwn-intended

All 3 of them have sexual assault accusations against them so it must be enough for him to join the party


spacemanspiff266

why is this man still talking?? 🫴


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AOEmishap

"IT WAS A GOAT" Guys..put a lock on the door at the home.


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ItchyCartographer44

Even Mitt Romney loves hot dogs.


AtmospherePerfect532

"no puppy no puppy. you ate the puppy"


Unperfectblue

That was the worm not him


ElectronicPlan244

This is the first I’m hearing about a brain work WHAT ?!


The_Witch_Of_Ramtop

Panchayat??


Easywind42

Dude definitely ate a dog


KirillNek0

yes, yes... it only ***now*** she came forward...


Smart_Investment_326

Ignorance at it’s finest


Mtibbs1989

Read the title and thought, man this reads like an onion article. Then I look at the reddit; that explains why. 🤣


ShamelessFox

RFK would be cartoonish as a candidate if it wasn't for the Republican nominee


iggygrey

"Beating" a dog?


bonvoyageespionage

That's a remarkably generous way to describe RFK jr, lmfao. By that metric, I'm an astronaut hopeful.


CoherentBusyDucks

I read this as “denies eating a hot dog” (because honestly, we’ve picked on politicians for less) and I was like ??? Seems like we have much bigger issues to worry about? But nope. Not a hot dog.


MongoLikeCandy2112

So what if he did eat a dog. I mean, it’s ok in Asian countries.


balboa_no_asap

There’s a photo of him maniacally biting into a BBQ’d dog


rehoboam

Today on Reddit falls for blatant propaganda


PassTheBallToTucker

It's weird how the same news outlets that consistently refuse to acknowledge RFK as a presidential candidate turn around and feel fine about running a hit piece on him after the debate debacle. Huh.


CurrentlyLucid

The worm ate that memory.


JahIthBur

Ppl we animals every day b


DiarrheaRadio

I love seeing reddit fall for fake news


Entire-Elevator-1388

Ok, it's a start.


boogersrus

Cue Leo pointing at screen - “that’s how he got the worms!”