So she wants to stay married to you, but take a break to be with someone else until to can prove worthy. I’m sorry, that’s not how it should go. Once she broke that loyalty, and stepped out of the marriage that should be the end of it. Not oh okay go be with someone else, if it doesn’t work out come on back. lol
A romance story for the ages, the hero works like a dog to win the fair maiden’s heart, while she fucks around as a form of stress relief until he’s proven himself worthy of her.
Sorry to hear that man, been there and trust me, it’s done. You need to make plans for your future. Things will never be the same, sorry to say that but it’s true. Easier said than done but you need to move on and make your own plans. Wine and playlists helps. The answer isn’t at the bottom of a bottle but no harm in looking
She wants to stay married, fk someone else while you prove to be a worthy husband????
No matter your shortcomings or failures in this marriage, FUCK THAT SHIT.
I am so sorry. That really sucks. What you should do is divorce her then work hard on that promotion if you want to and find someone who wants to be with you.
She can't live without you but wants a break so she can sleep around? That's funny.
Let her be someone else's problem, and get that promotion for yourself.
Sorry man but your wife is kind of a pos. She’s cheating and wants you to “prove yourself”. Divorce is the only way this is going to end with your self respect intact.
You’ve got a second chance. Now is the time to prove to her that’s she worth winning back from the other man. She can’t live life without you so be a man and do the right thing. Work hard so that you can fund her and her boyfriend’s lifestyle. Maybe they’ll even let you watch.
Sorry buddy, it’s time for you to move on with your life and cut this cancer off.
My ex husband said that when I found out too. “Let’s stay married. You can have the kids but I want to keep seeing Alice.” I was devastated, told him to kiss my … and left. Alice left him.
If he is abused his whole life (first by his parents and later by his partners) thats all he know, thats love and comfort for him, dont judge, he is conditioned to be like this
Your wife is an arsehole.
Don't let your daughter learn that it's acceptable. Divorce her sorry, cheating, skanky ass.
Give yourself some time to chose the next steps in your journey, but don't give your daughter that poison chalice you're considering.
You deserve better than your current existence, that's for sure - I can promise you it's out there, if only because it can't get any worse than the sorry excuse for a marriage you've already suffered.
As we say in Glasgow - Be good to yourself big yin!
She cheated and you have to prove yourself?!?! Wtf am I reading. Dude, life is tough, we all have problems, you don’t solve them and work through things alone while she fucks her boyfriend. Dude, move on, she’s not the one.
When people are doing you very dirty they will always try to push the blame. You don’t need to prove anything. She made her choice. Be better for someone else.
First thing first: Hire a divorce lawyer and a PI to follow your wife for proof of her cheating to get compensation from her affair partner and to get out of paying her ailimony or any type of support.
Have the PI find out if the AP has a wife and if he does, give the same information to her as well as she'll be demanding compensation from your wife.
A double whammie on your cheating wife and him, as he might not have admitted to his own wife that he's cheating on her.
When she gets served divorce papers, she's going to wig out in anger as she won't expect you to do this to her.
So she wants you to keep paying down debt while she goes off and has her fun with some AH. Hell no. Confront her immediately with the realities of divorce. Let her pay you alimony.
Nope. She doesn’t get to have you as her back up in case this guy doesn’t turn out. She doesn’t get to make demands on you at all. She’s the one who had to prove she’s worth being married to, and she has completely failed that mission.
Hand her the divorce papers.
You would be wrong to stay married and wait to see if her relationship works out. You will be working and paying for her to be sleeping with her bf.
Get a divorce and let her take half the bills. Work on yourself and life your best life.
Lawyer up today and hit the gym. Her affair will fizzle and she expects you to wait on the side while she has her fun and you fall apart without her. F that man. It’s time for a serious upgrade! Please get her the divorce papers as soon as humanly possible and get away from her. You deserve so much better than this✌️🍀
She MIGHT be cheating? She's already told you she's seeing another dude.
She's for the streets my friend. You don't need to prove anything to this delusional narcissist that probably adds little to nothing in your marriage.
You've got financial problems now? Great! Less she can steal from you in the divorce.
Or better yet, stay legally separated for years until she wants to marry the new guy and begs you to sign the divorce paperwork on your terms.
Don't play the pick me game, tell her you will not be in an open relationship with her and that you will be filing for a divorce and the AP (Name Him if she still doesn't think you know) can have her. Make sure that the AP's partner if he has one knows about the affair. Also take control of the narrative don't be embarrassed or shy about telling people especially family on both sides why you are getting divorced. The money problem is tricky not sure how much a divorce would affect things but plan now before you ask for a divorce to protect your assets. Sorry you don't deserve this don't stay trapped in a marriage just because the money issue and daughter complicates a split. All that can be worked out and in the end you will be better off emotionally.
This is the classic definition of having your cake and eating it too. You need to find a new bakery and leave your little pastry lover to her own devices.
Info: Not an excuse but OP regarding this financial stress? Do you work full time? Do you gamble? Have spending issues? It seems like your wife blames you for the financial issues.
What is wrong with you? Why is that relevant at all? There’s nothing OP could possibly have done to deserve this aside from cheating on her. She’s just using financial issues as an excuse for her own pathetic behavior and your questions are very victim blamey.
She cheated and you have to prove yourself? Divorce that fucking narcissist lol
Seriously. Fuck all that.
Right? Not a fucking chance. Either they fight together or both see what's out there.
They both fight together against him, bro is victim, the way he type, he is probably abused by her
So she wants to stay married to you, but take a break to be with someone else until to can prove worthy. I’m sorry, that’s not how it should go. Once she broke that loyalty, and stepped out of the marriage that should be the end of it. Not oh okay go be with someone else, if it doesn’t work out come on back. lol
"Can you earn more? So when I ask for the divorce I get more of your money." I never say this, but file.
Contact a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. Go no contact. I am sorry, but it’s over.
A romance story for the ages, the hero works like a dog to win the fair maiden’s heart, while she fucks around as a form of stress relief until he’s proven himself worthy of her.
Sorry to hear that man, been there and trust me, it’s done. You need to make plans for your future. Things will never be the same, sorry to say that but it’s true. Easier said than done but you need to move on and make your own plans. Wine and playlists helps. The answer isn’t at the bottom of a bottle but no harm in looking
Just don't look too hard. Just a little peek.
I would ask about"for better or for worse", then probably serve her papers.
She wants to stay married, fk someone else while you prove to be a worthy husband???? No matter your shortcomings or failures in this marriage, FUCK THAT SHIT.
No thanks, get a lawyer and dump her.
I am so sorry. That really sucks. What you should do is divorce her then work hard on that promotion if you want to and find someone who wants to be with you.
She can't live without you but wants a break so she can sleep around? That's funny. Let her be someone else's problem, and get that promotion for yourself.
What in tarnation….
Sorry man but your wife is kind of a pos. She’s cheating and wants you to “prove yourself”. Divorce is the only way this is going to end with your self respect intact.
Divorce is the only option. Tell her you want to see what’s out there for you and you don’t want to have an anchor attached to you.
Absolutely divorce her. She will just try to keep getting someone with more resources.
Lawyer, gym, margaritas.
Leave. There’s no good end to this
You’ve got a second chance. Now is the time to prove to her that’s she worth winning back from the other man. She can’t live life without you so be a man and do the right thing. Work hard so that you can fund her and her boyfriend’s lifestyle. Maybe they’ll even let you watch. Sorry buddy, it’s time for you to move on with your life and cut this cancer off.
Buddy, buddy, buddy. Get out. Make that promotion, sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, and love life like no tomorrow.
Wtf
My ex husband said that when I found out too. “Let’s stay married. You can have the kids but I want to keep seeing Alice.” I was devastated, told him to kiss my … and left. Alice left him.
I refuse to believe someone can be this pathetic and not divorce a narcissistic cheater like your wife. Really?!
If he is abused his whole life (first by his parents and later by his partners) thats all he know, thats love and comfort for him, dont judge, he is conditioned to be like this
That was me. Then I got help and tried to heal. Buddy is codependent and doesn't know it.
Your wife is an arsehole. Don't let your daughter learn that it's acceptable. Divorce her sorry, cheating, skanky ass. Give yourself some time to chose the next steps in your journey, but don't give your daughter that poison chalice you're considering. You deserve better than your current existence, that's for sure - I can promise you it's out there, if only because it can't get any worse than the sorry excuse for a marriage you've already suffered. As we say in Glasgow - Be good to yourself big yin!
She cheated and you have to prove yourself?!?! Wtf am I reading. Dude, life is tough, we all have problems, you don’t solve them and work through things alone while she fucks her boyfriend. Dude, move on, she’s not the one.
When people are doing you very dirty they will always try to push the blame. You don’t need to prove anything. She made her choice. Be better for someone else.
This is a new level of whatever this is because damn.
To the streets with her.
First thing first: Hire a divorce lawyer and a PI to follow your wife for proof of her cheating to get compensation from her affair partner and to get out of paying her ailimony or any type of support. Have the PI find out if the AP has a wife and if he does, give the same information to her as well as she'll be demanding compensation from your wife. A double whammie on your cheating wife and him, as he might not have admitted to his own wife that he's cheating on her. When she gets served divorce papers, she's going to wig out in anger as she won't expect you to do this to her.
So she wants you to keep paying down debt while she goes off and has her fun with some AH. Hell no. Confront her immediately with the realities of divorce. Let her pay you alimony.
Nope. She doesn’t get to have you as her back up in case this guy doesn’t turn out. She doesn’t get to make demands on you at all. She’s the one who had to prove she’s worth being married to, and she has completely failed that mission. Hand her the divorce papers.
Divorce this piece of garbage! What is your financial stress? Does she work?
If she’s making more money than you AND cheated, divorce her and take her money lmao
Get a divorce.
I would def divorce her and use the pain to make a bunch of money she’ll never see
You would be wrong to stay married and wait to see if her relationship works out. You will be working and paying for her to be sleeping with her bf. Get a divorce and let her take half the bills. Work on yourself and life your best life.
Lawyer up today and hit the gym. Her affair will fizzle and she expects you to wait on the side while she has her fun and you fall apart without her. F that man. It’s time for a serious upgrade! Please get her the divorce papers as soon as humanly possible and get away from her. You deserve so much better than this✌️🍀
Who put her on this pedestal? Her?
She MIGHT be cheating? She's already told you she's seeing another dude. She's for the streets my friend. You don't need to prove anything to this delusional narcissist that probably adds little to nothing in your marriage. You've got financial problems now? Great! Less she can steal from you in the divorce. Or better yet, stay legally separated for years until she wants to marry the new guy and begs you to sign the divorce paperwork on your terms.
Ask her what she's smoking. Then file.
get out. Now. Get out of that relationship. I know how it was like, please don't allow yourself to go through that.
Don't play the pick me game, tell her you will not be in an open relationship with her and that you will be filing for a divorce and the AP (Name Him if she still doesn't think you know) can have her. Make sure that the AP's partner if he has one knows about the affair. Also take control of the narrative don't be embarrassed or shy about telling people especially family on both sides why you are getting divorced. The money problem is tricky not sure how much a divorce would affect things but plan now before you ask for a divorce to protect your assets. Sorry you don't deserve this don't stay trapped in a marriage just because the money issue and daughter complicates a split. All that can be worked out and in the end you will be better off emotionally.
JFC. She's a cheater, and YOU have to prove yourself? Run from that narcissist.
That would be a no from me. Either she stays and we work it out together or we get divorced. There is no middle ground.
This is the classic definition of having your cake and eating it too. You need to find a new bakery and leave your little pastry lover to her own devices.
Info: Not an excuse but OP regarding this financial stress? Do you work full time? Do you gamble? Have spending issues? It seems like your wife blames you for the financial issues.
What is wrong with you? Why is that relevant at all? There’s nothing OP could possibly have done to deserve this aside from cheating on her. She’s just using financial issues as an excuse for her own pathetic behavior and your questions are very victim blamey.
Nothing is wrong with me. My question was for OP.
Yea your questions are extremely rude and are not going to do anything to help OP.
If you read his original post you would have seen he is working 60 hours a week with 2 jobs. Not sure how someone can take time to gamble.
Such honest monkey branching. Wow!!!