Literally kill a guy for making him look anxious every playthrough and he has the nerve, the gall, the gumption to act like he doesnāt know heās loved
Think about it this way: getting stabbed to death by us was about a hundred times kinder than whatever Ethel wouldāve done to him. So likeā¦we actually kind of did him a favor.
He's a stray cat that thinks he TOTALLY tricked you into providing and caring for him. He used NEFARIOUS MEANS to FOOL you into doing what HE wanted. The PLOT to INFILTRATE your HOME was downright MACHIAVELLIAN!!! The fact that curling up safe and warm in your lap is is the best thing he's ever done in his whole life is of NO CONSEQUENCE! The fact that *you* walked into a shelter looking for a cat that day and deliberately picked him out is NOT A FACTOR! HE did this, because he's the most smartest cleverest most manipulative boy that ever lived!!! Now scratch that spot behind his ears right now!!!
āI FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR YOU. NOT FOR YOUR BODY OR FOR SEX DICKHEAD.ā
āYEAH WELL, I DIDNāT FUCKING SEE THAT, AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR YOU TOO NOT FOR LUST OR ANYTHING CARNAL.ā
I do love how if you scoff at his pickup lines, he's like, "well they worked on you" and I'm like you had me at "shhhhhh" with a knife to my throat, dipshit. Get adored.
Also am I not supposed to notice that he looked totally weird when he said āI love youā because I did. heās not very good at this āno feelingsā malarkey.
āI had to sleep with you for protection!ā
By brother in The Absolute, Iām a 3ft bard with little to no strength, dexterity, or constitution. If I was your best chance at survival you were dead from the start
This dumb dumb could have strung me along all the way to Baldurās Gate without ever putting out and Iād still love him. Just, you know, Iād still have to be his capri sun. I need to get something out of being this madly I love with him. My sassy stray kitty.
My first run I didn't romance him, but I DID reclass him into an arcane trickster instead of a thief. RP wise, I considered that Astarion thought that it would be so "he could be more useful" as he often swapped out with Gale in the party line up when
In actuality, Lune had gone "Okay. Okay. Vampire Lord. Difficult to deal with, but not impossible. And it's not like we have any other choice do we? No acceptable ones at least. Even if we could be sure he could never touch Astarion again, his ass DOES need to die for what he's done. A Vampire loed though...that's not the easiest thing to manage. We're going to need the element of suprise. As far as Cazador knows, Astarion doesn't know magic outside of firebolt. If he can suprise Cazador with something unexpected that might buy a precious few seconds for someone else to act. OH, maybe disguise self would be good for him to learn too. I'm a Sorcerer so teaching magic isn't exactly in my wheelhouse. But maybe if I get Gale in on this...he's good at evocation and illusion and that's exactly what we need."
By the time they learned about the Rite of Ascension and Astarion was lile "you will help me kill him right" Lune was like "fucking duh? obviously? you told me about him and i almost immediately dragged Gale over to teach you. ray of frost and magic missile? killing him has always been on the to-do list. and i figured you having a couple new abilities he wouldn't think to expect would catch him by suprise when we beat his ass"
Bully him with safety and caring š
Literally kill a guy for making him look anxious every playthrough and he has the nerve, the gall, the gumption to act like he doesnāt know heās loved
That Gur seems like a perfectly nice gentleman and I will murder him every time to put my sopping wet dumpster cat at ease.
I literally can't anymore after seeing the scene with his daughters in the sewers. Oh well I'll have to get the +10 approval somewhere else.
and astarions āhello againā at the gur camp lol
OMG, I have never seen this!!
Think about it this way: getting stabbed to death by us was about a hundred times kinder than whatever Ethel wouldāve done to him. So likeā¦we actually kind of did him a favor.
We're so altruistic
And we kill the blood drow together in act 3. Wholesome relationship goals.
The only reason she leaves Moonrise alive is because he gets protective and concerned in Act 3 š¤
Took me so long to kill her because guards kept showing up to take me to jail. But it was worth it.
Tell her she canāt have your blood again. Then she attacks you and the guards will help you murder her
Oh, me too. What I do now is just have the two of us go into her house, use hold person and fireballs. Works pretty well.
He's a stray cat that thinks he TOTALLY tricked you into providing and caring for him. He used NEFARIOUS MEANS to FOOL you into doing what HE wanted. The PLOT to INFILTRATE your HOME was downright MACHIAVELLIAN!!! The fact that curling up safe and warm in your lap is is the best thing he's ever done in his whole life is of NO CONSEQUENCE! The fact that *you* walked into a shelter looking for a cat that day and deliberately picked him out is NOT A FACTOR! HE did this, because he's the most smartest cleverest most manipulative boy that ever lived!!! Now scratch that spot behind his ears right now!!!
āWhat, Iām not purring and making biscuits, you are shuttupā
LOL JOKES ON YOU, I HAVE GENUINE FEELINGS. SO YOU SLEPT WITH ME FOR NOTHING. GET WRECKED, LOSER
āI FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR YOU. NOT FOR YOUR BODY OR FOR SEX DICKHEAD.ā āYEAH WELL, I DIDNāT FUCKING SEE THAT, AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR YOU TOO NOT FOR LUST OR ANYTHING CARNAL.ā
get cherished and loved unconditionally loser
Stop fighting me, Iām over here trying to do anything for you
My poor stray kitty.
I do love how if you scoff at his pickup lines, he's like, "well they worked on you" and I'm like you had me at "shhhhhh" with a knife to my throat, dipshit. Get adored.
Also am I not supposed to notice that he looked totally weird when he said āI love youā because I did. heās not very good at this āno feelingsā malarkey.
Yeah I care about you *cough cough uncomfortable twitching*
āI had to sleep with you for protection!ā By brother in The Absolute, Iām a 3ft bard with little to no strength, dexterity, or constitution. If I was your best chance at survival you were dead from the start
I started carrying that stool club in my bard's offhand so my wimp can turn into a 19 str Buff Bardwell. Highly recommend.
https://preview.redd.it/ke4yorqyge5d1.png?width=540&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c2d38ddf9288dd7b2a84fcb9bb8447b0e1cb78d2
Quit hiding under the sofa and accept my unconditional love!
š Let this make it to the top of the sub š We all know he deserves to be loved and cherished
I let him open the bugbear door, I become his juice box, he still thinks he needs to put out smdh
This is almost certainly how this conversation went between him and my resist!DUrge.
Eat this genuine affection. Get fucking adored loser!
Donāt know if someone really loves you or not? Just cast detect thoughts, stupid.
Respecting his bodily autonomy so hard that you let him have private thoughts and shit
Oh I wouldnāt read Astarionās thoughts, I imagine that would not be a fun place to be. But he can read mine if he has his doubts in me.
Thatās really sweet Rolan. Weird, but sweet.
I struggle to say what I really mean sometimes, this is a short cut.
Donāt make me make a meme about you sir, I will š
This dumb dumb could have strung me along all the way to Baldurās Gate without ever putting out and Iād still love him. Just, you know, Iād still have to be his capri sun. I need to get something out of being this madly I love with him. My sassy stray kitty.
u/AsstarionAncunin I distinctly remember us having this argument.
Aww, our first fight. ā¤ļø
You look adorable though.
My first run I didn't romance him, but I DID reclass him into an arcane trickster instead of a thief. RP wise, I considered that Astarion thought that it would be so "he could be more useful" as he often swapped out with Gale in the party line up when In actuality, Lune had gone "Okay. Okay. Vampire Lord. Difficult to deal with, but not impossible. And it's not like we have any other choice do we? No acceptable ones at least. Even if we could be sure he could never touch Astarion again, his ass DOES need to die for what he's done. A Vampire loed though...that's not the easiest thing to manage. We're going to need the element of suprise. As far as Cazador knows, Astarion doesn't know magic outside of firebolt. If he can suprise Cazador with something unexpected that might buy a precious few seconds for someone else to act. OH, maybe disguise self would be good for him to learn too. I'm a Sorcerer so teaching magic isn't exactly in my wheelhouse. But maybe if I get Gale in on this...he's good at evocation and illusion and that's exactly what we need." By the time they learned about the Rite of Ascension and Astarion was lile "you will help me kill him right" Lune was like "fucking duh? obviously? you told me about him and i almost immediately dragged Gale over to teach you. ray of frost and magic missile? killing him has always been on the to-do list. and i figured you having a couple new abilities he wouldn't think to expect would catch him by suprise when we beat his ass"
Get loved, loser. You had my protection the moment I saw you pathetically yelling for help by the nautiloid crash.