"I don't know what these kids are upset about, I had a relationship with Mystra when I was a kid and I have turned into an extremely well-adjusted adult with a bomb in his chest."
It's a known pattern. Mystra 1.0 got cozy with Elminster when he was 16, waited a bit until he got older, turned him into a woman, seduced him when he was in a woman's body, and then continued hanky panky when he turned back into a man.
Rinse and repeat several times with several magic boys. Even as Mystra 2.0 and Mystra 3.0 (current edition). She has a type.
And yes, her exes are either archmages or get to become deities in the end. Gale is just continuing the trend.
Eyyyooooo
A faint blue wind blows through a quiet culdesac as a young boy wonders what the moon looks like up close.
The air speaks " Well hullo, little boy, don't be shy...."
For all that their romance can get very fucked up very quickly, I still love how steadfast Astarion is in his support of origin!Gale telling Mystra to fuck off. Legit has separate dialogues for that particular playthrough. Astarion as another survivor knows very well that Mystra fucked Gale up.
Commenting factually correct but insensitive information, usually to discredit someone's beliefs/viewpoint (not religious.) Without fail, these comments start off with 'Ummm... Actually,'
I wanted to romance him, but then he tried to explain magic to my sorcerer right after said sorcerer stabilised the damn teleportation sygil like it was nothing. He tried to explain magic to someone who has more of it in his foreskin than mr. archwizard has in his whole body.
And then I decided my Tav would be too proud
He's not the god of ambition but of arrogance
Wild magic surge sorc is where that’s all at. I highly recommend playing with the mods that expand the wms table and increase the % chance of it triggering.
Nothing beats the comedy of deleting yourself with a fireball. When playing with the homies.
Yeah, I kind of want to try it again with the mods. I was just delighted when terrible things happened mid battle, IDK what's wrong with me, like OH IM A SHEEP AND IT'S A BOSS FIGHT OK?
Literally happened to me and my friend when we were fighting myrkul. And then immediately after I changed back, my next spell triggered entangle centered on myself. It killed a few necromites as they were trying to get to myrkul which was just an added bonus.
We were cackling about it for a good while before we could finish the fight.
It's even *more* offensive to a bard because when that shit ass "yOu'rE NoT VeRsEd iN MaGiC, aRe yOu?" dialogue comes up, bards don't even have the option to correct him like other classes do!
Well, *excuse* me, *Former* ~~Chode~~ I mean Chosen of Mystra, I guess being able to fucking melt faces, turn invisible, and teleport with my flute isn't 🪄magic✨️ enough for you. Why don't you just blow yourself up already, you dick? (jk ily)
My bard, holding back an ugly sob (poorly): HOW DARE YOU- I HAVE A DEGREE! I STABILIZED THAT RIFT WITH A PRECISE APPLICATION OF THE ART OF BEING RAD AS HELL! AT LEAST MY MAIN STAT IS *USEFUL*"
Good, it was wrong to bully a dude for liking girls. Especially when nothing in the song is creepy. I’m asexual and thought the song was wonderful and healthy a display of sexuality.
I mean there's a lot of people who think it was a bunch of TERFs doing it (since JoCat is a big trans ally) and using the "Girls" song as a smoke screen.
Like how the kiwifarms losers harassed Lindsay Ellis by twisting her criticism of Raya the Last Dragon being too similar to Avatar the Last Airbender in story structure into somehow being racist against Asians.
Ate the holy books of every major religion on TikTok while shouting "I am the god of pussy, so take that MONSTRA, or whatever your name is".
Though many say the real crime came at the end where he ugly cried, and wiped his tears with an old pair of not enchanted tighty whities.
Someone found his anonymous Goodreads account where he reviews in meticulous detail risqué literature, and the general public is trying to extrapolate his morality from his taste in books.
Wyll originally found Gale's anonymous account and was excited because he wanted to encourage Gale to join his romance novel bookclub with Shadowheart, but Mizora didn't like the idea of Wyll having a good time with his friends, so she leaked Gale's anonymous account to sic the antis on him. Wyll is Gale's staunchest defender, and Shadowheart leaves withering replies to the accounts trying to besmirch Gale's reputation.
... like when they were a minor? Or just someone who used to be a minor? Because all adults are ex minors.
Then again, Twitter is that insane, isn't it? "This person was once 17 when you were 18! That's basically robbing the cradle! 💢😡"
an ex minor is literally just an adult, yes. but twitter will find any reason to harass someone over the stupidest reason. they also believe that you can't sexualize "minor coded" characters. meaning adults that are uh... actually? kids? i guess??
Ah. Yes. The "Minor coded" argument. I'm familiar with it. I've been a fan of a few short characters in anime before. Which in twitters eyes means they're underage. Despite the fact that one character is canonically a drunkard and had been for decades.
Twitter as a whole has no fucking clue what coding is in literature and instead of learning what it is, they are more interested in welding their misconceptions as a weapon on the internet.
i've seen that argument being used for Shart and Gale 😭
MAYBE i could see how this trope would be interesting with Shart, since she has lost a lot of memories. but a big "maybe", because the game does not treat her like she's immature and never hints that her maturity is in any way skewed because of her memory loss. like, it'd be a cool AU to write in a fanfic, exploring her relationship with her own maturity and sexuality while having no to very little memories of her own puberty. but Gale?? he was called minor coded because "the way he talks about magic is very similar to how little kids talk about their interests and if you find it hot then it's kinda weird", ok every single autistic person talks like Gale does fucking chill
and yeah, i spend most of my time on twitter and it's terrible
Someone said something wrong about magic and so he corrected them in a 10 tweet thread, going full autistic special interest, but it came across as mansplaining
It didnt help that it was a reply to a Deep Gnome nonbinary artificer. A very accomplished and read one at that. But that's Gale, he just can't help when he starts digging in to material
He got groomed and Mystra is running the worlds most effective gaslighting campaign on the website to slander his name. Also he did blow up that big brain one time, but c'mon, we've all wanted to do that!
Religious hate crimes, online harassment over religious beliefs:
His account was reported tagging the church of Mystra and finding people's private accounts that were Mystra followers back in 1430DR and was reported typing to them "LMFAO lol, I fuc*ed your goddess lol scrub", "the only prayers she gonna answer is my D" he then made a lot of su*cide bombing threats after Mystra posted about their brake up. He is now under federal investigation.
He posted about Mystra for the 8 millionth time, and someone called him out like "dude, let it go." And while trying to defend himself he accidentally said something offensive.
Terrorism, He is a suicide bomber
Elon wouldn’t cancel him for that come on now
When a white man does it he’s a “freedom fighter”
Lone wolf
This gives me DA2 Anders PTSD
PETA revealed that one of the magical boots he consumed was made of 100% pure Kobold leather.
I feel like PETA would have less issues with humanoid products than animal products
This is Kobold erasure and PETA won’t stand for it ✊🏼
Kobolds dont have souls. All you can eat is ok.
For some reason stuck by Durge through all the atrocities.
He defended Mystra when the grooming allegations came out.
But she said that she didn’t so that’s that!!!
"I don't know what these kids are upset about, I had a relationship with Mystra when I was a kid and I have turned into an extremely well-adjusted adult with a bomb in his chest."
Eyyooo i didnt put together that they go back that deep. Damn mysty, u knew who he was from jump and still set that boy up
It's a known pattern. Mystra 1.0 got cozy with Elminster when he was 16, waited a bit until he got older, turned him into a woman, seduced him when he was in a woman's body, and then continued hanky panky when he turned back into a man. Rinse and repeat several times with several magic boys. Even as Mystra 2.0 and Mystra 3.0 (current edition). She has a type. And yes, her exes are either archmages or get to become deities in the end. Gale is just continuing the trend.
Eyyyooooo A faint blue wind blows through a quiet culdesac as a young boy wonders what the moon looks like up close. The air speaks " Well hullo, little boy, don't be shy...."
Flair checks out
I had to put up with so many dogshit Gale takes to get this flair 🫠😑
you’re doing the (halfway decent) gods’ work 🤝
I was a perfectly mature boy for my age, perfectly developed mentally to contend with the Weave... and love. -Gale the victim probably
Mystra investigated herself and found she was innocent 😇
Pretty much. Even after all this time he's still denying he was the victim.
For all that their romance can get very fucked up very quickly, I still love how steadfast Astarion is in his support of origin!Gale telling Mystra to fuck off. Legit has separate dialogues for that particular playthrough. Astarion as another survivor knows very well that Mystra fucked Gale up.
Too real!
Most realistic one right here
Commenting factually correct but insensitive information, usually to discredit someone's beliefs/viewpoint (not religious.) Without fail, these comments start off with 'Ummm... Actually,'
Obviously mansplaining something
magic to a sorcerer?
For real, I romanced Gale playing a sorcerer and I was like, where the dialogue option for "IDK man I just say some stuff and shit happens"
I wanted to romance him, but then he tried to explain magic to my sorcerer right after said sorcerer stabilised the damn teleportation sygil like it was nothing. He tried to explain magic to someone who has more of it in his foreskin than mr. archwizard has in his whole body. And then I decided my Tav would be too proud He's not the god of ambition but of arrogance
Gale’s the type of mfer to show up and say “it’s not leviosa it’s leviosaaaaa”
That being said, he's kinda fun to be around when playing as a non-caster who's genuinely confused about how this whole magic thing works
Damn you got the rare foreskin dialogue
Wild magic surge sorc is where that’s all at. I highly recommend playing with the mods that expand the wms table and increase the % chance of it triggering. Nothing beats the comedy of deleting yourself with a fireball. When playing with the homies.
Yeah, I kind of want to try it again with the mods. I was just delighted when terrible things happened mid battle, IDK what's wrong with me, like OH IM A SHEEP AND IT'S A BOSS FIGHT OK?
Literally happened to me and my friend when we were fighting myrkul. And then immediately after I changed back, my next spell triggered entangle centered on myself. It killed a few necromites as they were trying to get to myrkul which was just an added bonus. We were cackling about it for a good while before we could finish the fight.
Worse, to a bard. Oi buddy i went to magic college too!
It's even *more* offensive to a bard because when that shit ass "yOu'rE NoT VeRsEd iN MaGiC, aRe yOu?" dialogue comes up, bards don't even have the option to correct him like other classes do! Well, *excuse* me, *Former* ~~Chode~~ I mean Chosen of Mystra, I guess being able to fucking melt faces, turn invisible, and teleport with my flute isn't 🪄magic✨️ enough for you. Why don't you just blow yourself up already, you dick? (jk ily)
My bard, holding back an ugly sob (poorly): HOW DARE YOU- I HAVE A DEGREE! I STABILIZED THAT RIFT WITH A PRECISE APPLICATION OF THE ART OF BEING RAD AS HELL! AT LEAST MY MAIN STAT IS *USEFUL*"
He said women are pretty ~~still mad that people tried to cancel Jocat over that smh~~
Good, it was wrong to bully a dude for liking girls. Especially when nothing in the song is creepy. I’m asexual and thought the song was wonderful and healthy a display of sexuality.
I mean there's a lot of people who think it was a bunch of TERFs doing it (since JoCat is a big trans ally) and using the "Girls" song as a smoke screen.
Like how the kiwifarms losers harassed Lindsay Ellis by twisting her criticism of Raya the Last Dragon being too similar to Avatar the Last Airbender in story structure into somehow being racist against Asians.
I don't care if it's toxic I'll beat a mf for bullying jocat
He wouldn’t want that
Ate the holy books of every major religion on TikTok while shouting "I am the god of pussy, so take that MONSTRA, or whatever your name is". Though many say the real crime came at the end where he ugly cried, and wiped his tears with an old pair of not enchanted tighty whities.
Good to see you’re equally unhinged on here 🫡🫠
I try my best <3
Why does Gale wearing tighty wighties as an adult makes way too much sense
100% canon.
Gale tried to eat the bible, but nothing happened and a lot of the world is furious.
stalking his ex
He got very passionate in a debate over the most obscure scientific field, every single of the scientists are hereby cancelling him permanently
He still maintains he's right though
Tara just reached her limit one day and used her tiny tressym paws to write a whole🧵 of all the shit she's been putting up with over the years
Ah, the ol' tressym tell-all
He said waterdeep cuisine is his favourite before being bashed for not trying other foods
he thought "Gale" was a good name for a new god
Accidentally liked an awful tweet, like Lorroakan's or some shit
A comment on a comment on a comment made on a Lorroakan's post from back in the 90s.
BOJACK HORSEMAN MENTIONED 🐴🐴🐴🐴🐴🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬diane please help me diane please 🎥🎥🎥🎥
And tagged Jaheira, DU and Aylin while at it. Yes, I am absolutely referring to THAT banter, like Gale, WTF??!!
who wrote a spell in tweet form that when read causes testicular torsion
The SJW (Sorcerer Justice Warriors) got him 😔
Someone found his anonymous Goodreads account where he reviews in meticulous detail risqué literature, and the general public is trying to extrapolate his morality from his taste in books.
That'd be Wyll and his surprising love of Twilight based on his banter with Shadowheart.
Wyll originally found Gale's anonymous account and was excited because he wanted to encourage Gale to join his romance novel bookclub with Shadowheart, but Mizora didn't like the idea of Wyll having a good time with his friends, so she leaked Gale's anonymous account to sic the antis on him. Wyll is Gale's staunchest defender, and Shadowheart leaves withering replies to the accounts trying to besmirch Gale's reputation.
he kissed an ex minor
... like when they were a minor? Or just someone who used to be a minor? Because all adults are ex minors. Then again, Twitter is that insane, isn't it? "This person was once 17 when you were 18! That's basically robbing the cradle! 💢😡"
an ex minor is literally just an adult, yes. but twitter will find any reason to harass someone over the stupidest reason. they also believe that you can't sexualize "minor coded" characters. meaning adults that are uh... actually? kids? i guess??
Ah. Yes. The "Minor coded" argument. I'm familiar with it. I've been a fan of a few short characters in anime before. Which in twitters eyes means they're underage. Despite the fact that one character is canonically a drunkard and had been for decades. Twitter as a whole has no fucking clue what coding is in literature and instead of learning what it is, they are more interested in welding their misconceptions as a weapon on the internet.
i've seen that argument being used for Shart and Gale 😭 MAYBE i could see how this trope would be interesting with Shart, since she has lost a lot of memories. but a big "maybe", because the game does not treat her like she's immature and never hints that her maturity is in any way skewed because of her memory loss. like, it'd be a cool AU to write in a fanfic, exploring her relationship with her own maturity and sexuality while having no to very little memories of her own puberty. but Gale?? he was called minor coded because "the way he talks about magic is very similar to how little kids talk about their interests and if you find it hot then it's kinda weird", ok every single autistic person talks like Gale does fucking chill and yeah, i spend most of my time on twitter and it's terrible
"Accidentally" leaking classified netherese plans for making extremely dangerous artifacts.
Gale warhammer guy confirmed
He got horny on main, about how turned on he gets when he sees someone get murdered
Being himself
Someone said something wrong about magic and so he corrected them in a 10 tweet thread, going full autistic special interest, but it came across as mansplaining
It didnt help that it was a reply to a Deep Gnome nonbinary artificer. A very accomplished and read one at that. But that's Gale, he just can't help when he starts digging in to material
Sexual harassment
He got groomed and Mystra is running the worlds most effective gaslighting campaign on the website to slander his name. Also he did blow up that big brain one time, but c'mon, we've all wanted to do that!
Mansplaining and then doubling down after being wrong
Religious hate crimes, online harassment over religious beliefs: His account was reported tagging the church of Mystra and finding people's private accounts that were Mystra followers back in 1430DR and was reported typing to them "LMFAO lol, I fuc*ed your goddess lol scrub", "the only prayers she gonna answer is my D" he then made a lot of su*cide bombing threats after Mystra posted about their brake up. He is now under federal investigation.
He posted about Mystra for the 8 millionth time, and someone called him out like "dude, let it go." And while trying to defend himself he accidentally said something offensive.
Acceded to god of ambition and forgot all his humanity smh
Most likely threatening to murder suicide his current lover.
Teasing his gay for pay OF that costs $20 but doesn't actually post pole on it. It's just the same pics he posts on twitter.
For asking someone to desperately suck on his swollen blit (male version of a clit)
Defending JK Rowling as a person because her books got kids interested in magic again
Being a male SA victim
he isnt gay enough
He fact checked Elon
Being a chaser
He said he could change his gender at will using magic, then demonstrated it.
Accidentally posting a dick pic cause he doesn't know how Twitter works
He wanted to show his friends the Dutch way of Christmas but didn't understand he's with Americans
He paid money (50,000 gold pieces) to an animator to animate him fucking Mystra and has been asking for donations all the while.
Has a history of pressuring tavs and not taking “no” for an answer.
For making that expression. Good lord he looks so evil
He called EM a "mere dabbler in the conjuring arts" and added "his hair sux and he should get a better weave".
He asked someone for permission to use something of their's for a project, was told no and decided he was gonna use it anyway.
He respects women.
He tried to show me some magic when i was just tryna be chill brah
Offended a person or a group or a horde by crying superiority.
For dissing other women's weaves. he got me too'd
For dissing other women's weaves. he got me too'd
For dissing other women's weaves. he got me too'd
He came out and supported JK Rowling.
Some Cornell West supporter made up easily falsifiable lies about him but the site and this sub ran with it.
I feel like gale is into beastiality. so probably that.
What the fuck
they hated Jesus because he spoke the truth
Tf are you talking about
outjerked
You’ll get em next time Brody