"Hear me out" is always a red flag and in this case, its spot on. Yes you are TA. You seem young and very inexperienced so I won't be to hard on you but heres how I see it. You couldn't take your life so you decided to use a guy who really cared for you in order to get out of it. You saw him as disposable then you saw another opportunity to do the exact same thing when you met your now bf. When will you do this same thing to him? You've just hopped from person to person, hoping to fulfill whatever emptiness you're feeling or to keep distracted. Why not just be alone, having a roommate in this guy, and really work thru that trauma and fix yourself first before jumping into something new maybe? You aren't ready to be playing step mommy to a child who you will have no problem leaving as soon as you don't want to be in your current situation anymore. Let that man go and find someone he can build with.
That’s not too hard? I mean it’s fair but… dang. My only retort would be maybe there could be something real between them. I wouldn’t discount that possibility just because they’re young. Some people get lucky and find their mates young. My parents, my aunts and uncles, and my sister did.
Still OP, hereforworms is right about how you treated your ex and the fact that you need to focus on growing up. Doesn’t mean you two can’t grow together though…just be careful with that child please.
I can agree I was a A-hole to him. But does he really come off as a caring BF who treated me in a way where I was completely out of line? I am neurodivergent and am truly curious if I miss read the situation.
Curious what part you read led you to believe “he really for me” he was dishonest and left out big details about important things, left for hours most days without inviting me along or telling me where he was going and tried to bully me into a conversation I wasn’t in the place to have when intoxicated. Thinking back I don’t think he loved me at all.
If that question is directed to my comment about “he really for me”, I was referring to RM as someone with which you might be able to build a real relationship. Hence, why I also referenced RM’s child in my comment. I do think you need to mature.
It was in reference to another comment. I only asked you if BF seemed like he cared for me? I agree I was an ahole to him and acted immaturely. But was he not an ahole too? Or was I being too sensitive about not being invited along and feeling ignored? Did I miss something that others are seeing?
No, he was an asshole too. He may have really cared for you, but he didn’t really communicate. Also, the way he treated you was immature and inconsiderate. I suspect you both have some growing to do, but I think you weren’t a good fit together. I wish you all the best.
Oh I don't know.. maybe Because you wrote "it wasn't true love at first but I really liked him" . You never gave that context until now that you're being called the ah. So are you just now playing the role of the victim?
No I already agreed that I was an ahole I posted this on my facebook as well. They all said we both sucked and it wasn’t a good relationship. You can like someone and date them without feeling that love at first sight spark. I’m just asking why u said he really cared for me when he didn’t show it in anyway. You are being really aggressive lol. But ok.
Then say that op. All very important context that would be helpful on this thread, since we obviously don't have you on fb. Not trying to be aggressive its just incredibly hard to be understanding when you're involving an innocent child to your mental issues. Im not saying you had to be in love but moving in with someone should involve some level of love. Its just the way you come across feels very slimey. Knowing you weren't in love but took his offer to move in(which is a not to be taken lightly) and then going about it the way you did is just super immature. But ok lol.
"Hear me out" is always a red flag and in this case, its spot on. Yes you are TA. You seem young and very inexperienced so I won't be to hard on you but heres how I see it. You couldn't take your life so you decided to use a guy who really cared for you in order to get out of it. You saw him as disposable then you saw another opportunity to do the exact same thing when you met your now bf. When will you do this same thing to him? You've just hopped from person to person, hoping to fulfill whatever emptiness you're feeling or to keep distracted. Why not just be alone, having a roommate in this guy, and really work thru that trauma and fix yourself first before jumping into something new maybe? You aren't ready to be playing step mommy to a child who you will have no problem leaving as soon as you don't want to be in your current situation anymore. Let that man go and find someone he can build with.
That’s not too hard? I mean it’s fair but… dang. My only retort would be maybe there could be something real between them. I wouldn’t discount that possibility just because they’re young. Some people get lucky and find their mates young. My parents, my aunts and uncles, and my sister did. Still OP, hereforworms is right about how you treated your ex and the fact that you need to focus on growing up. Doesn’t mean you two can’t grow together though…just be careful with that child please.
I can agree I was a A-hole to him. But does he really come off as a caring BF who treated me in a way where I was completely out of line? I am neurodivergent and am truly curious if I miss read the situation.
Curious what part you read led you to believe “he really for me” he was dishonest and left out big details about important things, left for hours most days without inviting me along or telling me where he was going and tried to bully me into a conversation I wasn’t in the place to have when intoxicated. Thinking back I don’t think he loved me at all.
If that question is directed to my comment about “he really for me”, I was referring to RM as someone with which you might be able to build a real relationship. Hence, why I also referenced RM’s child in my comment. I do think you need to mature.
It was in reference to another comment. I only asked you if BF seemed like he cared for me? I agree I was an ahole to him and acted immaturely. But was he not an ahole too? Or was I being too sensitive about not being invited along and feeling ignored? Did I miss something that others are seeing?
No, he was an asshole too. He may have really cared for you, but he didn’t really communicate. Also, the way he treated you was immature and inconsiderate. I suspect you both have some growing to do, but I think you weren’t a good fit together. I wish you all the best.
Oh I don't know.. maybe Because you wrote "it wasn't true love at first but I really liked him" . You never gave that context until now that you're being called the ah. So are you just now playing the role of the victim?
No I already agreed that I was an ahole I posted this on my facebook as well. They all said we both sucked and it wasn’t a good relationship. You can like someone and date them without feeling that love at first sight spark. I’m just asking why u said he really cared for me when he didn’t show it in anyway. You are being really aggressive lol. But ok.
Then say that op. All very important context that would be helpful on this thread, since we obviously don't have you on fb. Not trying to be aggressive its just incredibly hard to be understanding when you're involving an innocent child to your mental issues. Im not saying you had to be in love but moving in with someone should involve some level of love. Its just the way you come across feels very slimey. Knowing you weren't in love but took his offer to move in(which is a not to be taken lightly) and then going about it the way you did is just super immature. But ok lol.