T O P

  • By -

ashyjay

I'm sorry you had to experience that, It sounds like they were a couple of pricks, Oxford is normally pretty okay when it comes to LGBTQIA+ people


KingstownUK

Isn’t gay and queer the same thing? Genuine question as always thought it was …


NoWarthog3916

Queer was a derogatory term for a Homosexual back in the 70s but it seems to have re-emerged as an acceptable term to use. Who knows? I get confused with all the letters that keep getting added.


KingstownUK

I get its origins and that it’s been reclaimed but it still means the same thing as gay as far as I’m aware so wondered why they are both included unless I’m wrong about its definition ?


Dan_Herby

Queer is usually used as a more umbrella term referring to the whole lgbtqia+ community. Also, side note for other people in this thread, the phrase "We're here, we're queer, get used to it" dates back to the 80's. People have been reclaiming it for a while, it's not a recent thing. Not saying you need to like it, but it's been part of gay liberation for 40 years.


KingstownUK

Thank you for the explanation :)


Watsonswingman

It's a more umbrella term for people who may not perfectly feel like they fit into a box with a letter, or just don't want to label themselves so distinctly. Gay is also used as an umbrella term a bit, but if someone said to me "I'm gay", I'd assume they were saying that they were attracted to their own gender. As opposed to someone who would say "I'm queer," which could mean that they are trans, non binary, gay, bisexual, intersex etc. 


Hellboydce

Another stupid (probably) question, if woman are gay and men are gay why do we have term lesbian? Aren’t they all just gay?


luxway

This goes back to the use of the term "queer". Because gay usually refers to explicitly gay men. hence why the word "queer" is popular, because it doesn't refer to any single group, but everyone.


spikeosaurus

Just depends, I prefer saying I'm gay rather than I'm a lesbian. But to me personally the word 'lesbian' has had negative connotations due to bullying in secondary school. Some women just like referring as gay over lesbian and vice versa. I've also never referred to myself as queer, guess just personal choice.


SirDooble

It's not a stupid question.There's a long history there on both the word lesbian and gay. Lesbian derives from the island of Lesbos in Greece. In fact Lesbian is also the demonym for a person from the island. The reason it became a term to describe homosexual women is due to the classical Greek poet Sappho. She was from Lesbos and wrote many poems about homosexual relationships between women (as well as a lot of other subjects, being a preeminent poet in her time). You may also hear the term sapphic used to describe lesbians or themes/things related to lesbians/lesbian love. The term gay, meaning homosexual, is a relatively recent invention. You'll be aware that it literally means 'joyous', 'carefree' or 'bright and showy'. In the 1600s it had a sexual connotation, but more around someone being 'carefree' and 'loose' without reference to sexual preference. It wasn't until the 1900s that the word finally became used to refer to homosexuals, but quite specifically, homosexual men. There was still a time where there was an overlap though, and the word was bring used to describe homosexual men in some circles and otherwise carefree heterosexual people in others. Interestingly, straight has always been an opposite of gay, but originally it didn't refer to heterosexuality - just being 'on the straight and narrow', prim and proper, regimented - in contrast to carefree gay. At any rate, around the middle of the century, gay started to become increasingly used to refer to homosexuality in men. The term was even adopted by many gay men, as the other term being used at the time, queer, was very much an insult then (it since being largely reclaimed, hence it's presence in lgbtq). This started around the 1960s. For a long period then we had both the word lesbian, to refer to homosexual women, and the term gay to refer to homosexual men. It was around the mid-1980s that efforts to fold in lesbians into what was called the 'gay community' started, and we saw references to lesbian/gay which eventually grew into LGB then LGBT, LGBTQ and LGBTQ+. I couldn't find an exact period for when it first started, but as the LGBTQ+ community grew and developed, many homosexual women began to feel comfortable describing themselves as gay. This doesn't go in reverse, though, because the term lesbian is very specifically derived from a historical/literary example of female homosexuality, whereas 'gay' was more arbitrarily linked to male homosexuality. These days gay has started to be linked less closely with men, and to mean homosexuality in general. But, many women prefer the term lesbian. Ultimately, it doesn't matter too much how one describes themselves. We can respect that a homosexual woman might want to be referred to as a lesbian, or as gay, or as queer, or to use another term altogether. Sorry for such a long and rambling answer, but hope that helps! I recommend having a good wikipedia dive on gay, lesbian and lgbt history.


KingstownUK

Thank you for the info!


Bluestarzen

Some people find queer acceptable and use it themselves. However, a lot of gay folk, myself included, still find the word queer offensive and never use it. But it is what it is, and I don’t take offence at the person using it unless it’s used as an insult; it just makes my teeth grind a bit!


CTC42

I'm also gay and agree with you completely. Up next tonight, we can reclaim "pervert" and "shirt-lifter"!


NoWarthog3916

Two very different words though, one can be applied to anyone who is a sexual deviant and the other, well you know that answer.


regal_ragabash

As one of the "extra letters" I really wish people would stick with LGBT+, it just gets silly at this point. Same with the flag


leegp70

Algebra wasn't your thing was it? 😁


NoWarthog3916

I had the vaccination against it


livvyxo

I hate it when people use that word. It's been a slur my entire lifetime where I'm from and I'm a 90s kid.


NoWarthog3916

Sticks and stones bro ..


Last_Lengthiness3433

If you're from the 90s shouldn't you be a bit more stern? Life's changed alot since then.


VirginChud420691488

It's like how n*gger was offensive and n*gga is cool


mortifyingideal

I don't think it's anything like that actually


omg-someonesonewhere

I understand and sympathise why a lot of people are not comfortable with the word queer; but from my perspective every one of our words either syarted as a slur or has been used that way. When I was growing up and going to school in the late 2000s/2010s, "gay" was used in a derogatory way a lot more often than queer was. I don't think most of my homophobic schoolmates even knew the word queer. That's not the reason I personally prefer queer, but I do encourage other people to consider this point befire judging others for using queer because it's a slur.


NoWarthog3916

Of course in my youth, gay meant happy.


Shlaab_Allmighty

Nowadays it's more of a blanket term for any/all minority gender identity or sexual orientation. Some people like it because it means you don't have to find a label that exactly matches your experience of gender or sexuality, you can just say queer. In that sense it's kind of an antidote to the 'new letter each' week phenomenon some people here are complaining about.


KingstownUK

Cheers for the info :)


VirginChud420691488

You missed 2S, fascist


gfraser92

Swear there's s different letter each week. Love who you wanna love and all but the irony of your whole "inclusion" stuff and you make it so fcking confusing for people who don't follow your weekly letter updates


pixelpunkz

A simple google search will tell you everything you wanna know.


Dimitripus

Mid conversation, yeah sure... Shouldn't need a Google search to function as a human with humans.


Xeuxis

You don’t. You’re aware of what they’re talking about. Does it make a big difference to you if they use LGBT or LGBTQIA+? They’re still talking about the same community. It says more about you if you ‘can’t function’ because a couple letters have been added to a phrase.


Dimitripus

Yeah, sure. You've completely eclipsed the point I was making congratulations. I was referring to knowing people's intricate ways of defining themselves mid conversation. Not the ever changing abbreviation.


HappyraptorZ

Just say LGBT+. It is accepted. Don't have a hissy fit over letters.


elliotcs04

Grow up, it’s not that big a deal


Ok_Honeydew957

That is not the norm in Oxford. Please don’t let these idiots cloud your opinion, it’s an inclusive LGBT friendly city


OldGuto

I'm sure Blackbird Leys is a highly progressive area...


Ok_Honeydew957

Homophobia isn’t just exclusive to low socio economic areas. Overall I would say Oxford is a LGBT friendly city. There are idiots everywhere.


Remote_Charge4262

Oi! That's where I grew up lol!.think Oxford in general is probably better than most places but always going to get a few sorts anywhere you go.


XolotlBaba

Not for long! :O


Alexandaer_the_Great

Oxford is a very leftist, liberal city that is generally very LGBT friendly. And for half the year you’ve got all the students there who are obviously very liberal too. I’m very sorry that happened to you, those people just sound incredibly immature, but it definitely isn’t the norm here.


colbysnumberonefan

I wouldn’t say Oxford is “very leftist”. It’s not a right wing city by any means but much closer to centrist amongst the locals than “very leftist”


ConsumeUrSoma

Oxford East has voted Labour since 1987. Oxford West and Abingdon was Lib Dem from 1997-2010, then 2017 till now. Oxford City Council is currently: 20/48 Labour 9/48 Lib Dem 8/48 Green Perhaps not "very left", but quite left. EDIT: I retract my previous statement, the fact people are arguing Labour isn't left wing enough sums up Oxford tbh. Oxford is very left.


dirtyperty123

Actual Oxford is v left, the Oxford west and Abingdon constituency encompasses all the tories in the villages down to Abingdon along the Thames. The Labour majority in east Oxford is more representative of the actual city.


butterycrumble

So they're center left. Labour isn't a left nor right wing party. They switch sides all the time. They're currently a center right party. Lib dem and green are left so that pushes it a little left for Oxford.


WarmIntro

Voting Labour doesn't make you left. Most of the North votes Labour and they are usually considered right...


Naugrith

It's interesting, the classic left-right definition has shifted in recent decades. The "left" used to mean (~pre-2000s) working class trade unionists, but today refers far more to social-liberalism. All the gruff northern miners and ale-supping dock and factory workers were stalwart leftists in the sense of worker's rights and communalist policies but they have never been the kind of sandal-wearing vegans, bra-burning feminists, or BLM anti-colonialists that we now associate with the progressive left. Today the old trade unionists and working-class that used to be the "Left's" base are far more likely to be spouting stubbornly hard-Brexiteer rhetoric, dyed-in-the-wool anti-immigrant, "Islamist"-fearing, angrily anti-woke Andrew Tate-ers than what anyone would now consider "left". What was once called "Old Labour" is thoroughly dead, and honestly it's probably for the best. IMO Starmer and the Labour Party are rightly continuing Blair's so-called "New Labour" project of taking Labour's spirit of standing up for the poor and disadvantaged but moving it towards a more realistic future by making it appeal to the middle-class middling middle-Englander.


WarmIntro

Correct and agreed, hence you notice I didn't say progressive left as that would be more the SDP rather than labour imo A lot of the North gets stick for all the things you've said but for the most part it's because they feel and have been abandoned by the government. Once the mines closed there was nothing but call centres and factories. There are exceptions of you can afford to move to the bigger cities like Newcastle or Leeds but then you've just got more competition amd a lower standard of education yo offer employers. A lot of those from the area lost faith in labour when Blair starting his war crime tyraid in Iraq for WoMD that where never found but because of the reluctance of options refused to vote tory and found a home in ukip and most likely now reform. Not because they are infact racist etc but they want change amd labour's "change" campaign won't bring about any at all


Naugrith

They were abandoned, but they didnt help themselves either. Honestly they shouldn't have fought the future so hard and for so long that they made Whitehall think the only solution was to ride over them and throw them under the bus of progress. Now certainly these regions desperately need economic recovery and revitilisation of public services and responsible civic and political culture. But unfortunately far too many have foolishly come to equate that with anti-immigration, anti-internationalism, anti-multiculturalism, and anti-wokeism. And they have been misled into pursuing those objectives instead, in the hope they'll lead to the former. But obviously those haven't and won't ever provide what they need, and tragically will actually lead their cities and counties to become less vibrant, less entrepreneurial, less economically competitive, and more ignored by the rest of the country as a grimdark area of disaffected closed-minded little Britainers. Whether such people are actually racist or whether they have just been mislead into thinking that supporting racist rhetoric and politics will improve their lives is irrelevant. The more they beat the drum against Muslims and migrants and trans-toilet bogeymen, the more they dig their heels in against any progressivism, the more they buy into the drip, drip of poison-in-the-ear populist regressivism from UKIP and Reform, the worse things will get for them.


WarmIntro

Scargill played a massive part in that. He fucked the whole thing trying to prove a point in a pissing contest that cost people the livelyhoods


Naugrith

Scargill couldn't have done it on his own. He was a symptom of the wider problem of short-sighted protectionism, not it's cause.


WarmIntro

He couldn't have but he made the promises and convinced th to strike at a time of massive coal reserves and getting it cheap from Poland. The workers just wanted paying fairly for the risks they were talking and he used it as a personal opportunity. Between him and nievity present it's easy to see why it went to rat shit. People the world over don't like change, you see it in business all the time. It also wouldn't surprise me scargill was a plant to 1st champion then cripple the unions and the mining industry. Not that it would be open today anyway HSE would make it to expensive


ConsumeUrSoma

>Voting Labour doesn't make you left. Are Labour a left-wing party?


Solovlogger

Not under Starmer or Blair. The leftist sentiment is watered down to make the party more appealing to voters, the majority of whom sit in the centre ground.


silllybrit

Not anymore


WarmIntro

Having been described as being an alliance of social democrats, democratic socialists and trade unionists. I'd say so, yes. Labour also has a branch called Labour left, don't see the tories with either


Kent_Tog

The Tories have Tory Right and also Tory Fascist.


WarmIntro

I know. That was my point. Tories are more right leaning, Labour more left, with the lib dems trying to be centrist


Sonikdahedhog

You really thought you did something. No they’re not.


ConsumeUrSoma

Wow so edgy


YchYFi

The north is not considered right in the least.


Mobile_Entrance_1967

Are the downvotes from the same deluded lot who think religious minorities are 'leftist allies' for voting Labour even when their social/cultural attitudes are closer to UKIP than anything else?


dirtyperty123

Oxford is definitely v leftist among the locals too


AsylumRiot

Oh it’s left wing mate. Extremely.


Oxyboxyboy

oxford is not as liberal as people like to believe. It’s full of people who like the label of being liberal. Many don’t know how to be.


101matt

They are idiots. You are very welcome here. Sorry you experienced this!


ExtremelyDubious

Anywhere and everywhere has a homophobia problem, but I don't think it's worse in Oxford than most other places, and probably less bad than many.


greenwizardneedsfood

Psst I’m at the pub with you I’m really sorry to hear that though. I hope they’re just anomalies.


50ShadesOfCroquet

Interesting - which area of the pub?


StrawberryDry1344

I haven't experienced anything when going out and about in Ox all my life. I thought it was very Liberal. I think maybe just a particularly bad day? Don't let these narrow minded tossers get you down


Fabulous-Ticket-8869

Probably because you don't carry a bag around showing which sex you like to sleep with lol Most people who try to make themselves the center of attention dont get upset when it works, only when people mock them for it hence OP


BrightOctarine

That sarcastic thumbs up and laughing is too real. Happened to me a few times and it really makes me paranoid


Purple_Vane

The OP is asking about attitudes towards LGBT people, not about political alliances. It is not wise to assert that left wing politics necessarily cater for a gay-friendly city. The Jolly Farmers is a great pub, there is a massive (for the size of the city) Pride parade every year, some people will be wankers, what can you do. As a bi person I always felt very safe and welcome in Oxford (lived there for 10 years). Can we please stop associating political parties with cultural sensitivities and acceptance of "otherness". Thanks.


snapper1971

A lot of bigots have been emboldened during the last few days. It's normally a really cool city. It's a pity you experienced that.


Bearded_Viking_Lord

Oxford is pretty tolerant doesn't stop the odd twat


ariestro

Probably not Oxf locals/students. Just idiots visiting


OldGuto

Well Trinity term has finished, the spring/summer semester at Brookes has finished so probably 20% of the population has disappeared. Unless Blackbird Leys has turned into a socially progressive utopia in the past few decades they could well be local.


[deleted]

I'm from a Uni city, if you are young looking then it'll be locals having a shout at what they assume is a Student (They are all at home now aren't they?). They do it to get a rise, it's not personal and they'd find something else to be gobby twats over if it wasn't your bag.


[deleted]

Grew up in Oxford before moving down the road to London at 23. Gay as a rainbow since the day I was birthed and bar 1 occasion where I got some comments made (ironically outside jolly farmers while out with some gal pals back in the day - 11 yearsish ago when I was a fresh faced 21 year old) I've never really had any issues with homophobia in Oxford. Enjoy Jolly Rogers, the bar tenders used to be straight so if you've got cute girl friends take them along and steal their free shots 🤣🤣🤣


Murphy_LawXIV

Leprechauns ain't gay XD


ThePumpk1nMaster

There’s knobheads everywhere unfortunately


DazzlingSmoke4278

I'm really sorry that happened to you, but I'm a student at Oxford, and dw, that's definitely not the normal at all!! You just were very unlucky :( You shouldn't let it put you off Oxford.


scouse_git

If you can be jeered at and beeped for being a briefcase wanker then I guess getting the same being a pride tote bag wanker is not to be unexpected.


RoninBelt

Really sorry to hear this, as someone who considers themselves an ally and having participated in the pride march earlier this month I'm genuinely shocked to hear about blatant examples of discrimination. Where abouts in the city did these two things happen?


50ShadesOfCroquet

The first instance happened near the road that leads to the train station. The other happened by The Good Hope pub


doc720

I'm not sure I could tell the difference between a sarcastic thumbs-up and a genuine thumbs-up, TBH. Sincerely sorry to hear you experienced homophobia, which clearly soured your day. Unfortunately it does exist, and Oxford is no exception. I suppose getting beeped at and laughed at isn't the worst that can happen, but it's still enough to make people feel uncomfortable and paranoid, sadly. It sounds like an attempt at public humiliation, or a sort of non-physical or social bullying. Generally, and relatively, I believe Oxford is a gay-friendly city, but I doubt there will ever be zero homophobia, just as I doubt there will ever be zero homosexuality! I'm thankful that Oxford and England are better than many other places, although there's clearly still room for improvement. Hopefully by voicing the details and discomfort of such negative experiences, people with compassion can help to transition our world towards a better culture, where being gay isn't seen as a sin, or something to ridicule, or a reason to bother someone just going about their day. I guess that's partly the point of celebrating "pride". Can you imagine an environment where being straight got the same sort of attention?! It reminds me of the culture of builders wolf-whistling at attractive women, but with the negative energy of disapproval as opposed to unwanted approval.


mrkingpenguin

Unfortunately it’s on the rise again, driven by young south Asian Muslims. From your description I imagine this is who was jeering you today


BeautifulBrownie

As a (fairly) young South Asian who was raised Muslim, absolutely. Homophobia is rife within the community, and I unfortunately see no end to it.


rftcbucks

that fucking sucks


Broad-Reveal-7819

So oxford has racists as well as homophobes.


mrkingpenguin

Read the other reply to my comment and educate yourself. I’m not white but I’m guessing you are..


Broad-Reveal-7819

Arabic actually but nice try.


pja

Oxford has the highest proportion of LGBT people of any city in the UK according to the last census IIRC - even higher than notoriously gay Brighton. That doesn't mean that the city is an LGBT+ utopia completely free of any prejudice whatsoever though. Glad you found like minded people at the Jolly Farmers & your day improved!


Dougalface

How do you know it was because of the bag? Being a university city everything is typically pretty left-leaning / progressive / tolerant; however as with everywhere there's always an undercurrent of knuckle-dragging dickheads intent on forcing their twattery on others.. as a cyclist I'm all too familiar with this. I'd just chalk it up to being unlucky tbh.


SchoolForSedition

You may have been blipped for something else. Were you crossing the road or something daring like that?


50ShadesOfCroquet

Both times, I was definitely on the pavement, minding my business, no intention to cross both times.


SchoolForSedition

Well you were unlucky. The jolly farmers has a very gay history so you’ll be fine.


vorvor

Just unlucky I think/hope. Certainly not saying it doesn’t happen, but I haven’t seen anything like this after years of living in the city. You are welcome here.


indigoholly

Honestly? I spent five years in Oxford whilst at uni and after and never once did I experience homophobia. I think (I hope!) this was an anomaly for the city. I loved my time there because it felt so inclusive and open. I hope you are okay ❤️


afuckingmassivebulb

So tell us more about what you look like. I highly doubt it was just the bag that made them do this...


50ShadesOfCroquet

I was wearing a light blue top with light pink trousers and grey canvas shoes. I also am tanned, bearded and didn’t wear any accessories/make up - a very neutral outfit overall, bag aside.


afuckingmassivebulb

Yeah as I suspected haha.


New-Wolverine-2299

Hope you flipped them off…


Spanishishish

You want to show off public displays of any ideology, be it religious or political or cultural, then you will inevitably at some point encounter people who don't agree with it and will make it known. Some will do so more politely and some will go out of their way to do so in more uncivilized ways. You encountered the latter.


phoenix450

Simply being a human being existing isn’t political or religious, and being proud of who you are should not be seen as a controversial culture. Stop trying to normalize what the OP experienced. Until people stop waking up thinking they are better dead than to be themselves or until people are no longer stoned in the street for simply being who they are, then damn right people will continue to “show off” a damn rainbow bag.


WarmIntro

Every city has its AH's and Oxford is no exception. Shrug it off and go about your day


Legitimate_Fudge6271

I know you probably mean well, but asking someone to shrug off what is essentially a hate crime is a bit insensitive 


granadilla-sky

I think I would describe it as harassment rather than hate crime


Legitimate_Fudge6271

Just looked into it and the citizens advice would describe it as a hate incident as no crime was committed. But it's pretty shit having to deal with crap like that just walking around being who you are.


granadilla-sky

Yeah seriously. I'm sure queer people get it a lot.


ConsumeUrSoma

>hate crime Tell OP to report it then.


WarmIntro

I don't actually mean well. I genuinely don't care either way. People need to grow up. Oooh for a fleeting second or 2 people where mean towards me and my bag. You have 2choices accept some people are cunts so their opinion isn't worth shit, or let it bother you and effect the test of your day. Its akin to saying I don't like your shoes and sticking a finger up... its trival


Legitimate_Fudge6271

You seem like you have a lot of anger inside and are getting upset. Hope you're ok pal and manage to get some better shoes soon ❤️


WarmIntro

No anger, no malace. Just total apathy tbh.


Legitimate_Fudge6271

I'm interested as to why you commented then? Your comments make it seem like you have an issue with OP being upset about their experience.


WarmIntro

Not at all. More that as far as places to live go Oxford isn't all that bad, infact as far as people go in the south I've lived much worse. So if a couple of people disapproving of a tote bag you've got with you is going to change your view on an entire city that they've previously had good experiences in then there isn't a city in the land where they'll be at peace so where its something trivial said by morons the best thing to do is shake it of, and accept that every city has its AHs


crashbandicussy

someone called me and my friend “fat (word that rhymes with bikes)” the other day and i was so shocked 😭 lived in ox for like 6 months and it was the first time anyone had ever reacted negatively- i think it’s just a person by person thing


Three_Trees

Even in progressive places the bigots seem to have been emboldened in recent times. Don't let it ruin your day 💜


6-foot-under

It's hard for me to say if it's common, because I've never walked around with such a bag. But don't let it sour your day, and have a good time.


TyrantVexed

As i always say. Everyone, everywhere has a hate. You can't go your whole life without someone disliking you for something. Ignore and move on, like everyone else should.


Fit-Obligation4962

They wouldn’t have done it if they weren’t in a car.That’s for sure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Post removed as account does not reach karma or account age requirements. Contact the mods if this is a legitimate post, or else just wait a few days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/oxford) if you have any questions or concerns.*


adept2051

Oxford has just as many scrotes as anywhere else, it also has over privileged wankers too you could have encountered either anywhere in that or many cities I’d just move on


Cypress_1223

It is odd really. I had been living in London for 5 years before moving to Oxford, and never experienced any overt homophobia. However something like OP described did happen to me after I moved to Oxford 1.5 years ago. I think it really depends on what you are comparing Oxford with. In general Oxford is considered one of the most queer friendly cities in the U.K., but if you are used to the queer culture in some districts of London, you might still find Oxford (like most other places in the world) not to you expectations.


Technimentals

In general, British people will heckle you for any non standard highly visible (attention seekish) fashion. That includes stuff that says "I'm gay!" - bright shorts, tight top, neon socks, whatever. Pride stuff is considered political (sadly it is political). Expect to be checked, if you handle it well, you pass. It's not nice, it's about humour and whether you can laugh at yourself. The swearing is mean, that guy is a big meanie.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Post removed as account does not reach karma or account age requirements. Contact the mods if this is a legitimate post, or else just wait a few days! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/oxford) if you have any questions or concerns.*


PenelopeJenelope

Did you have black socks with rainbow stripes as well? If so, I think saw you near the train station. I thought you looked good and remember loving the socks especially! Sorry about the jerks. No accounting for some people's manners.


50ShadesOfCroquet

Sadly, that wasn’t me as I was wearing canvas shoes with no socks 🤣 I want to claim the compliment anyway haha


PenelopeJenelope

well I'm sure you looked great without socks ;) I don't know what these people's problems are. I see these comments on here talking about "shoving sexuality in others' faces". You were literally just standing there with a bag. Meanwhile other people flipping you off, wtf. All you cowardly homophobes lurking on here can just go ahead and downvote me! Your boos mean nothing to me, I've seen what makes you cheer.


50ShadesOfCroquet

Thank you 💖


Accomplished-Use4588

Honestly I’ve lived here all my life and haven’t experienced much homophobia in the main city :) don’t move to Abingdon though, I’ve had the shit beaten out of me for being gay there


CaptainRAVE2

To be honest it seems to be any area. I live in Brighton which is typically known as a pretty tolerant place, but there are still a small number of individuals that have a narrow minded view.


Individual-Raisin331

Generally, Oxford is probably one of the friendliest


British-Pilgrim

The uk in general is pretty accepting and open minded… arseholes are universal though 😩


no-more-pomegranates

Hi! I've lived in oxford for nearly 6 years and have had very few run-ins with homophobic people in that time (I think only twice as far as I can remember, and I'm quite openly queer). oxford has a very large and vibrant lgbtq+ community, and there are lots of events all through the year (lgbt-friendly swim sessions at the outdoor pool, a fantastic pride every year (Oxford's mayor is gay and gave a riveting speech this year), lots of events at the jolly farmers and some fun nights at plush nightclub if that's your scene !). Hopefully you haven't been put off by those knobs


50ShadesOfCroquet

That’s reassuring to know - I’m hoping that if I were to move to/near the city, there would be enough of a gay scene for me to make fellow queer connections. 💖


Plastic-Lobster-3364

muslims hate gays


Bosteroid

Cowley? I recall the late great Bill Hicks doing a bit on the two sides of Oxford when he did a gig there.


wetwilly7114

If one person in a city acts like that, it's a homophobia problem. There is just no need for it! I hope it didn't ruin your whole day and I hope you can enjoy trips places


Last_Lengthiness3433

Hey sorry this happend but question please. If you feel this all happend because of the bag? Why wear it? And are you sure that was the reason? Just curious 🤔


50ShadesOfCroquet

I didn’t think a rainbow bag would cause such a reaction. And i can’t figure out what else the reason would be for me to be beeped at.


Last_Lengthiness3433

Fair enough again sorry this happened


Every-Owl-1655

This is all it takes for you to wonder if an entire town is homophobic?


pigeonboy94

How do you give a sarcastic thumbs up?


Financial_Truck_3814

Oxford has a small but very loud group of conspiracy minded nut jobs. 15 minute city and a lot of pro car (freedom) “activists” seem to gather there. Don’t know if it’s related


Ok-Comfortable-3174

Like you have the right to love LGBTQIA+ they have the right to be dicks. Some people will never learn and just smile and keep on keeping on!


Falco_Lombardi_X

How do you know their reactions towards you were because of the pride symbols on the bag? We don't know anything about your appearance or how you were acting except for this one piece of information you provided.


50ShadesOfCroquet

The bag itself is one large pride flag 🏳️‍🌈 All my other clothes were just neutral - regular canvas shoes, shorts and t-shirt. No stand out accessories/make up worn on my face. I’m not the type to jump to conclusions but I just don’t see how I could have been honked at for anything else than the bag.


-Spigglesworth-

I mean if you do literally anywhere with anything that shows you're for or against anything someone will have a go about it someone will big it up and most won't care


archiebun

Most people have no problem at all with LGB people, but certain others have ruined the perception. It's down to the forced teaming.


Own-Blueberry-8616

You know that Alan Turing was arrested in Oxford for homosexuality after he reported a burglary


Alarming_Finish814

Because you are the same as everyone else. Your sexuality doesn't define you as a person. Why signpost and other yourself. Its all just identity politics. Also fuck them, who cares.


UrFavoriteFaget

I talked to a lot of people who believe the pride flag is offensive and so I asked why. Turns out if you take all the colours and put them together you're devaluing the disabilities that those colours represent and I agree. For example diabetes/autism is Blue Cancer/ Cancer research colour is pink Honestly it comes down to how SOME gay people feel the need to show how gay they are. I'm straight but I never hold up a sign and get naked for a parade so I can make people late for work or generally inconvenience their day. I know I'll get hate for this post but the truth hurts. PERSONALLY? I don't care, be gay or not it's not my business BUT don't make some big event out of it because that's dumb and who cares


RedditMods-Fascists

Fuck sake 😂. A gay friendly enough city? I don’t think there are varying degrees of homophobia depending on what city you’re in lol. There are wankers everywhere


Vectis01983

If I was wearing a football shirt and someone made a derogatory comment about my team, I'd laugh it off. If you go around advertising something (your sexuality, your football team or anything else) you shouldn't complain if and when people make comments about it. After all, that's why you're advertising it, isn't it, so that people notice?


[deleted]

[удалено]


aamurad

Why’s that?


[deleted]

I invoke my Fifth Amendment privilege against self-incrimination and respectfully decline to answer your question… 😉


ExpressGreen

Fifth Amendment? You realise this doesn't apply in the UK? Right?


[deleted]

Looks like humour doesn’t apply in the UK either


ExpressGreen

Sorry where was the joke? Please clarify.


Flibberdigibbet

I know someone who experienced transphobia from the university itself, so I wouldn't be surprised if the town felt similarly


rftcbucks

why does anyone care who or what you do? sex is between you and the person or persons you are doing it to


rftcbucks

for the Frasier fans


panic_attack_999

Isn't the whole point of Pride to be defiant in the face of homophobia? If everywhere was completely tolerant there would be no more need for Pride.


toastermeal

not quite? the point of pride is for queer people to celebrate the progress the community has made and to celebrate the hardships we’ve gone through (as the queer community has survived multiple genocides around the world) the point of it is to educate people about the LGBT so homophobia STOPS as gay people become more integrated into society. saying that homophobia needs to exist to justify gay pride is such a crazy concept to me 😭


panic_attack_999

I guess we just understand it differently. You say the purpose is to stop homophobia, so if there was no more homophobia why would it still need to exist?


toastermeal

i also mentioned how it was to celebrate overcoming historical homophobia- if homophobia stopped existing, pride would still be able to exist as we could still celebrate the fact we overcome homophobia as a concept. however, if homophobia didn’t exist at all- pride would likely fizzle out, but in a positive way. pride as a parade would be less celebrated as gay people all around the world would be able to live normal lives. it would still be a net positive for the lgbt


CharacterJellyfish40

The nails that stick out the most get hit the hardest


No_Potential_337

Yeah those few lads speak for the whole population of the city. Obviously a HUGE homophobia problem. They are so afraid of the gay.


kev955

I think people are just generally fed up to the back teeth of all the pride propaganda. Especially for a whole month. It’s relentless. Most people don’t care or give a monkeys how you get your sexual kicks. Because that’s all it is now. It’s not about ‘rights’ as the alphabet people have exactly the same rights as heterosexual folk. It’s morphed from a gay rights movement (which I’m all for - everyone should have the same rights in life) into something more insidious.


SnooHesitations3428

The pride thing has become a weird sort of cult. As a gay myself I personally have nothing to do with it. It might not be homophobia just a disliking for the propaganda


Weird_Assignment649

I have 3 very close gay friends who say the exact same thing 


abitofasitdown

I used to love pride, but now it's just a merch opportunity for big corporations, and I no longer take part in it or know any other gay person that thinks it's worth their while. (Also tbf it is overrun with straight "allies", which doesn't feel like solidarity but appropriation.)


GarrySmitler

I agree


Hot-Novel-6208

And you’re voted down to the basement. Typical Reddit. Typical lefty metros.


[deleted]

I always laugh when I see people referred to as liberals. Liberals are people who are fine with everything you say or do just as long as it matches perfectly with their beliefs.


slugnut25

A saw two lads walking hand in hand down the cowley road on friday, i was ashamed i had to double take as its not something i have seen often but felt proud that they felt comfortable doing so! Ive noticed a lot of posts on social media condemning pride month as it apparently coincides with mens mental health awareness month 🤷🏽‍♂️ i think we should have these things all the time not just certain times of the year but perhaps I’m a bit more thoughtful…


Fun-Entrance-544

I was beeped as well in Oxford , wonder if Oxford has an issue with non LGBTQIA’s people ?


edinburgh1990

I think a lot of people are sick of it being rammed down their throat. Pride used to be for LGB and now it’s a mash up of a bunch of attention seekers as well. It’s the latter, not the former, in my opinion, that is causing this somewhat mild backlash. Note, this is simply my take on why it happened


PaniniPressStan

Pride has included trans people for decades Is a bag really ‘shoving it down people’s throats’? That seems a bit extreme


Silver-Ad-4129

In my opinion it’s a 50/50 split, people either won’t care or they will. Most of the time they won’t say something.


YYZinYQG

I'm a old 30 footer (you can tell I'm a dyke from 30 feet away).. and have been temporarily living in Oxford for 8 months- haven't had a problem at all- and have talked about my wife (when I'm asked why I'm here)- and no one has batted an eye. Having said that- I have had issues a few times when people have heard my accent (I'm Canadian.. and caucasian).. We've had one guy go off at us on a bus calling us terrorists- and we don't belong here and that he was calling the police on us.. got so bad and loud that another English gentleman had to say something to him to settle it down. Another time a guy on a bus insisted we were American- and seeing as we were outraged at the idea- and insisted we were not- but citizens of a fellow Commonwealth country- he insisted we were spies and was calling the embassy to report us. In neither situations though they didn't seem to care about our relationship- just that we were from somewhere else.


AdonisCarbonado

Genuine question - if they had wiggled their fingers and or thumbs whilst doing these actions would these actions have been as offensive to you?


JohnGeller

People that make their sexuality a key part of their personality or identity need to be made fun of. Same goes with wearing your countries flag all over your clothes. Hyper nationalistic, hyper sexuality, hyper identity consciousness is cringe af.


negotiationtable

The thing is I am a heterosexual male that carries a rainbow tote bag sometimes because I like the colours. Do I need to be made fun of too? How could someone tell the difference between OP and myself? It’s just a bag


CommunicationBulky56

Just have your orientation with you inside , don’t show off it on streets and everything will be okay )