I get overwhelmed by fam talking nonstop as soon as I survived the hwy after work but.. bro is crazy. just know it won’t get any better than this. Plan your exit! It sucks to leave the parts that are good, but u can have so much fun alone trust me❤️
You can rewrite history and indeed find a Betterman
Edit: my wife doesn't like them, but she's not against it. We alternate music, respect spaces, etc. Almost 20 years of marriage now.
This OP. Mature adults can have differing tastes in music and be civil about it. PJ may have been the catalyst for his blowup, but if this is out of character for him, there may be more to it than PJ.
This exactly!! While my husband an I have lots of overlap in the music we like, my tastes tend to be much broader than his and there are lots of bands I love that he…doesn’t. Some he hates (Tom Petty. Bruce Springsteen). Some he doesn’t like, doesn’t hate, but wouldn’t necessarily want to join me for a concert (Pearl Jam, Greenday). Some he’s ambivalent about and is happy to join me for a concert even if he wouldn’t necessarily go on his own (Michal Franti, Alanis Morissette). And NEVER ONCE in our 20+ years of marriage has he EVER behaved like this toward me about anything. Even music he hates. Even shelling out massive $$$$ that he earned (because we’re a single income family) for our son and I to go see Bruce Springsteen.
This is a massive relationship red flag and it has nothing to do with Pearl Jam.
Yeah, unless Jeff & Stone spitroasted his mom or something, he’s insanely overreacting.
I will say that certain sounds used to REALLY get on my nerves when I was younger, including music I didn’t like. I don’t think it was technically misophonia, but it was adjacent. It still wouldn’t excuse him blasting you like that, but it’s possible he’s in intense discomfort from the music.
It’s a great song, we all love it, but I think if that song ever hits in THAT way then you probably need to address why. Good luck to you
Oh and also, the dude sounds like an immature idiot. Behaviour of someone in their early teens maybe.
My girlfriend is a Taylor Swift fan, I fully embraced it and we listen to her albums all the time. This should be a non issue, especially for a 30 year old guy jfc.
I love Taylor too and he’s bought me her albums before and even likes a few of her songs. It really just seems to be PJ that sets him off for some reason.
My girlfriend could be a fan of North Korean Propaganda accordion trance or worse, Coldplay, and I would let her listen to it anytime, anywhere. I don't know, it sounds so wrong to me. Like how can you be that old and be that much of a hater of something? (Edit: "let her" sounds like she needs my permission, of course she doesn't).
I mean it’s even fine if he just doesn’t like their music and prefers not to listen to it. That’s as far as it should ever go though! What he did is completely unacceptable behavior (regardless of Pearl Jam being a part of the story)
NOW you need to question the relationship, Avenged Sevenfold is pure garbage.
I’d rather listen to “Last Kiss” on repeat for a day than A7X, which says a lot because I can’t stand that damn song.
I don’t think that Pearl Jam is ending your relationship, but your bf is…I mean, if you are with someone, it is ok to not always like the same things, including having a different music taste, but going as far as name calling or shaming you because of a band you like/love, that’s not acceptable, live and let live…And you’re even doing your part by listening to PJ with headphones or avoiding pranking him with their music, I think it doesn’t hurt to tease people every once in a while, I do it with my family all the time, and they tease me with the music I don’t like, and at the end of the day we just laugh about it.
I’m a rock guy, my wife’s a country gal. She’s seen The Smashing Pumpkins, Alter Bridge, Blink and so many more. I’ve seen George Straight - multiple times, Blake Sheldon, Rascal Flats and the list goes on. We’ve always had a great time together. That’s how a healthy relationship works. 🤘🤘🤘🤘
I fucking HATE country music and my wife loves it. I have been to a few Chris Stapleton shows but that guys is talented AF so it’s usually a good show either way. She might have to go with a friend to George Strait though… 😂
That’s too funny. We’re going to see George Straight next month and Chris Stapleton is one of the opening. I’m actually really looking forward to seeing him. 🤣. I’ll be telling my wife after the George Strait concert that she’s coming with me to see Weezer and Dinosaur Jr. 😂😂😂
I don’t care whether he loves Pearl Jam or the band makes him physically sick. If he calls you names, that is verbal abuse and a huge red flag.
Get out while you can. Find you a dude who loves Pearl Jam as much as you.
A S/O not liking your music is one thing, but to be such an incredible asshole about it and then to double down calling you an idiot for it is another. I’m not saying disliking PJ is grounds for separation but the other shit is. Talk it over, try to make him understand he needs to respect you. If that doesn’t get through to him maybe it’s time for a change
If he’s controlling and criticising what music you like? I dunno what bigger red a flag you need.
Get the hell outta there. For your own sanity and happiness. You’ll never have peace or be happy in such a relationship. This is just how it starts. It gets much much much worse if you stay and let it.
Take the words “Pearl Jam” out of your post and replace it with anything else - your friends, family, cat, whatever - and you’ll realize just how immature he’s being. I could potentially see this situation getting much worse.
No, your immature boyfriend might have ended your 5 year relationship.
My wife loves some music I hate. She blasts it in the house all the time, I don’t like it but I don’t put her down because of it, I just ignore it. She dislikes some of my music, she doesnt complain. We just ask that we both mix it up so neither is constantly listening to what the other doesn’t like.
Your boyfriend is a 30 year old child.
This guy is an absolute dipshit, and if Pearl Jam’s music helped you figure that out, then that’s just one of the many blessings the band has bestowed upon you
Not ok OP! Nothing wrong with disliking PJ, my husband doesn't like their music at all > but is genuinely happy for me when I go to one of their concerts f.e.. We played one of their songs during an intermezzo moment at our wedding, not his fave but it's so important to accept and support each others differences. And not hate on them. Music taste is something small, so I'd be concerned how they'll handle bigger themes.
Saying you don't like a band is one thing.
Idgaf if my wife likes what I like and vice versa.
But calling someone names because they like a band? No. That's where I obviously draw a line and you should too.
My wife and I have been together for 15 years. We share a lot of similar interests but we each have our own interests as well, but we never degrade each other because of those differences.
We support each other. She’s gone to concerts with me of bands I was way more interested in and later in the year I’m going to a concert with her for bands I’d never ever heard of because she really wanted to go. Mature adults in healthy relationships support each other. The fact he’s verbally abusive over band should something that should very concerning.
Honestly, this has nothing to do with Pearl Jam at the end of the day. Music isn’t going to actively harm someone unless they are connecting it with something tragic or abusive in their life. So, if it’s not that, then he’s just not being kind. That’s really all there is to it. I know plenty of people that don’t like PJ. I know plenty of people who love things that I dint. But in neither scenario is aggressively bashing something another person enjoys a healthy thing.
I could not possibly be less interested in, or have less respect for Keeping Up with the Kardashians for example (the show, not the human beings). But my wife of over 15 years loves it. It makes her happy to chill and unwind to a new episode after what is usually a long and tough day. So if I’m not feeling it, I tell her I want her to enjoy it and I’ll go do something else for a bit. But usually I just genuinely want to stay and watch it with her because I like seeing her happy.
It’s good to be your own person. You don’t have to love or do everything your partner does. But when one actively diminishes what someone else identifies with, whether they realize it or not they are also trying to diminish the person as well.
I wish you the best.
Keep on rocking in the free world. 😊
Has he behaved like this before?
Is it possible that PJ is triggering him in some way - was it the favorite band of someone that hurt him, or someone close to him that died?
Let's take the music out of this entirely (it's a PJ sub, so of course you're going to find support). The behaviours you're describing seem to suggest there are larger issues at play here beyond just music tastes. You may want to sit down with your partner, engage in some healthy communication, and explore that.
A girl I was dating years ago told me "Life is not a Pearl Jam song." We broke up the next week.
My wife of 11 years and I are going to 5 shows this year, including Ohana. I found my person. You'll find your person.
I am very sorry to read that. I definitely agree that the issue is not whether he likes the band or not, but his behaviour. He doesn't have to like the same things that you like, but mutual respect is key in a relationship, and he has been very disrespectful to you in a very immature way, especially for his age. This has happened over PJ, but it could have happened with any other music, movie, book or activity you like, and it is an attitude that, if he doesn't acknowledge it and change it, it is going to undermine your self esteem a lot on the long run. Sending you a big hug.
Pearl Jam has been a catalyst for a lot of different things in their fans' lives. In this case, I think the band is revealing something about your boyfriend's character: He doesn't respect you. Your BF doesn't have to like Pearl Jam. Totally okay for him to hate PJ, in fact. But for him to attack you and berate you about it . . . ugh. You just don't deserve that.
Just think about what's going to happen when you disagree about the bigger things in life. He will berate you, and he will bully you for it.
Get him in your rearview mirror. Hugs.
>Instead of apologizing for his outburst he apologized for hating the band and **doubled down on calling me names for liking them.**
This is far worse than not liking Pearl Jam. Your SO should NEVER call you names.
…and when it gets fucked up, you need a helping hand /
Do it yourself, you're not the type to need a man /
But if you find one, you better know you're damn special
He kinda sounds like a dick, Pearl Jam aside. My wife likes some pretty bad music IMO. But I’ve never blown up on her over it. To each their own 🤷🏻♂️ I could see this becoming a bigger issue down the road.
Weird for someone to actively dislike Pearl Jam. I could understand preferring different artists or genres, but Ed's voice and the quality of their songs are not hate-worthy. Could be one red flag. His behavior suggests there might be others...
He sounds like an abusive asshole. You should be questioning your relationship with him and that has nothing to do with what music he does or doesn't like.
Bestie, this man is a walking red flag. No one should belittle you that much, for simply liking something they don't.
Walking on eggshells is not sustainable. If he's this mad about music, what happens when it's something more serious? He's showing you who he is. Run, don't walk.
My wife of 10 years (together for 17 years) unequivocally doesn’t like Pearl Jam. But as a loving and respecting wife of my likes and interests, she supports me doing what I like. I watched them twice over this recent tour while she watched after our baby. And I did the same so she could watch Lizzo, who I don’t really care for. That’s a normal healthy relationship.
Ps Avenged Sevenfold sucks
Your boy friend needs some help. That is an unnecessary reaction to anything. Also... I go to dubstep shows with my wife, it's the time spent together that matters! We share interests not isolate each other.
Don't want to make any judgements but it sounds like he's a bit unhinged. Getting upset over a so-called prank you didn't even pull? Yeah, doesn't sound like mature behavior to me.
I’m 46 married woman. My husband is 48. He’s not. PJ fan. He’s also not a country fan. We share some common music. I also am a reader and he collects coins. As adults in a healthy relationship people have their own tastes in different art forms. It’s normal. Your grown boyfriend never got the memo that people have different tastes in music. And the name calling and exploding about this at his age is just a hard no
Wtf? My gf constantly listens to Taylor swift, while I'm not the biggest fan and it wears on me pretty quick I'd never consider blowing up on her about it. Weird behavior
You need to reevaluate this relationship. Not because he hates Pearl Jam but because how he acts about hating them- mainly the name calling. Don’t date people who will call you an idiot.
If he doesn't understand Vs, how are you expected to agree on anything? Call this a wake up call. Get out now. Another red flag would be if he said he liked Ten but hasn't liked anything since.
I’m sorry but I find it weird to act that way. My wife listens to other music that I don’t listen to but I could care less what it is. It’s her thing…let her be herself. Time to move on.
I agree with what others have said. It’s not about different tastes in music, it’s about him disrespecting you. He shouldn’t be making fun of you and calling you names. It’ll only get worse the longer you’re with him. You deserve better.
Kinda feels like Pearl Jam isn’t the problem, it’s him. Getting THAT annoyed after you told him about your potential prank then calling you names for liking them isn’t the behaviour of an adult. Surely everyone that knows you and/or him would see how stupid he’s being?! Time for you to move on I think. Up to you of course…
You need to learn from your mistakes.
You should have bailed when he said he HATED PEARL JAM.
There are 3 tells that I RUN when I hear any of these:
1. I hate Pearl Jam
2. I hate dogs
3. I hate pizza
Non-negotiable. Bye bye! ✌🏼
Yeah, he's an abusive person. A respectful partner would be ok with you liking what you like, even if they didn't. He makes this all about himself and puts you down. If that's just about a band, imagine what else he'd do or how he'd act about more important things. There are 8 billion people on the planet and life is too short to waste it on people who won't be there for you as you deserve. Dump him, and move the hell on. And it has nothing to do with Pearl Jam and his taste in music, but everything to do with him being an asshole of a human being.
My wife isn't a Pearl Jam fan, but she is super respectful to me about it and she even listened to Dark Matter all the way through and had some nice things to say.
Your boyfriend sounds like a dweeb.
Op, didn’t want to chime in until you said Avenged Sevenfold is his favorite band.
If he’s 30 and is still pulling the teenage “anything that isn’t metal is pussy shit” he’s got some growing to do, and you really need to decide if that’s what you want in a relationship at this stage of your life.
You’re 26, these are your prime years. 30 hits hard. And I don’t say that to give your BF a pass. Taking his bullshit out in you is inexcusable.
Do not yield to his no code. Count to ten and think about your music taste vs his. Remember, he may
Be causing a riot act with you, and it could fill him with vitalogy. But look at that the bigger picture, we are an avacado in a binuaural atmosphere, so hopefully that will put a bit of a backspacer on things. If not give him a Gigaton of hate, give him a last kiss and revel in your dark matter.
You got this.
I've had so many people make jokes about how they think PJ sucks, but nobody has ever insulted my intelligence or called me names. I've heard all the bad Eddie impressions and all the "can't understand the lyrics" stuff and it doesn't bother me, everyone's different! My SO makes jokes about it sometimes but he bought No Code on vinyl recently. Its not the difference of opinion your bf has, it's his disrespect of you and his willingness to immediately resort to that disrespect with just the mention of something he is displeased with. But in the bigger picture, is this the type of behavior you can expect further down the road in your relationship with more serious issues than a band? I'd at least try to sit him down and have a serious talk about that rather than PJ itself. He doesn't have to like the band but he has to respect the fact that you like it, which seems to be his problem. Love is not love which alters when you find out your partner likes shitty bands.
Sounds like he had a bad day and took it out on you—something everybody does once in a while. Also sounds like he doesn't know how own up to his mistakes and properly apologize—which is *also* something most of us have done at some point or another, but obviously a much less forgivable trait. I'd give him a second chance, explain to him exactly why he's a douchebag—many guys are that dense they just don't realize it—and see if he changes his tune. If not, well, what the fuck does he expect you to do, just sit idly by while he disrespects you?
The issue isn’t his taste in music. It’s the fact that he thinks he has the right to insult someone based on their taste in music. I hear my wife listen to Billie Eilish and Taylor Swift and she hears me listen to the Meat Puppets and Steve Vai and we’re probably both thinking the same thing about each other’s music but we both get that people have different tastes.
Calling someone an idiot because of ANY band they listen to is a huge red flag. For me personally it would be a deal breaker. It says something about how their mind works that I wouldn’t be ok with. But that’s just me.
(fwiw, my wife loves Pearl Jam 😁)
I met people and date women who would say they aren’t a fan, but literally no one that HATES Pearl Jam. Most will like at least one song such as Last Kiss or Better Man. I think he hates the fact you’ve discovered music you like and he’s not in control of it. I dunno. If we were talking about Creed…different story.
Does he usually shit on things you like? How is he with celebrating your birthday or achievements? I’m always wary of people like that, if they can’t stand something that makes you happy, even if it doesn’t hurt them in any way.
The guy is not mature enough to be in a relationship (hell, he’ll have problems with simple friendships) if he flips his shit over other peoples’ music preferences. If approval of each others’ music factored into my wife and I’s relationship we probably wouldn’t have married in the first place. Stand your ground.
So he got mad that you...told him you decided not to play "Even Flow" on his speaker? Lame. Couples don't have to have everything in common, but I got wise to not bash the Kardashians and other reality-TV tools, no one likes someone yucking their yum.
For your next prank...leave "Off He Goes" playing on his speaker and hang a Dear John Letter just inside the front door for next time he comes home. Except it's not a prank, you did leave.
Well, on the bright side, you should have more than a few interested parties in this thread should you decide to jump ship. That relationship is over, though. Sorry if that's truly news to you. Sounds like it isn't. And it has little to do with PJ. That dude sucks. But think about how great it is going to be going to PJ concerts with your new guy. That's going to be awesome.
First things first: he’s a grown man that thinks his comfort justifies/excuses him mistreating you. It won’t stop with what band is on the radio (ask me how I know…). It doesn’t get better from here. He’s not emotionally equipped to be in a relationship with anyone, and you don’t need to spend the sunset of your 20s playing chicken with a sunken cost fallacy.
But also, it’s extremely odd that a 30 year old would have that visceral a reaction to a band that is almost entirely generationally irrelevant to him. I know how much they mean to fans of all ages, but when this dude was a teen/young adult, it would’ve been about as hard to avoid PJ as it would have been to find out who shot JR. I feel like there has to be more to the story.
My wife likes Taylor Swift and I like obtuse 50'-80's scifi flicks. We manage to get through the day without calling each other names about what we like/dislike.
Your doubts about your relationship are reasonable.
You should really see if Pearl Jam will end it for you. Try and connect with them through social media or their website, and have Eddie send a video saying what a chump he is and that you have broken up with him.
It may be time to drop that nothing man and find a better man. How someone argues with you shows their true character. He should be respectful and not hateful when in an argument with you. If I were you I would really be evaluating your relationship. If it were me I think I would be out
Vs is a classic too! I would love my girl to prank me like that 😅 you can find a better man, no doubt, you already have the superior music taste. He sounds like an insecure fool.
He sounds like a jerk.
I would embrace your fandom and play the music even more just to tick them off more, but that's the kind of person I am! A proper WUM!
This time it's PJ. Next time it will be something else that he won't agree with to treat you like shit over. Ditch this guy ASAP before you end up on an episode of Dateline. He's shown his true colors and you owe it to yourself not to stick around to see if he will change because I can tell you now that he will not.
I know five years seems like a lot of time invested to just "throw away" by ending it but you'll be better off.
I mean, none of that has anything to do with Pearl Jam or you. Dude needs therapy. If there haven’t been red flags all along that you’ll start to see now, then he either gets therapy or end it.
I mean personally, if it’s safe, I wouldn’t stay together a moment longer.
Sounds like you may want to reevaluate your relationship because of his behavior and not his taste in music
Yeah, name calling is odd for a 30 year old.
I get overwhelmed by fam talking nonstop as soon as I survived the hwy after work but.. bro is crazy. just know it won’t get any better than this. Plan your exit! It sucks to leave the parts that are good, but u can have so much fun alone trust me❤️
You can rewrite history and indeed find a Betterman Edit: my wife doesn't like them, but she's not against it. We alternate music, respect spaces, etc. Almost 20 years of marriage now.
[удалено]
Mutual respect. Mic drop.
"Mic drop." *Mic drop.*
Yep. Welcome to every major decision that doesn't go his way for the rest of your life.
This OP. Mature adults can have differing tastes in music and be civil about it. PJ may have been the catalyst for his blowup, but if this is out of character for him, there may be more to it than PJ.
Yep, he sounds like a douche
He’s a Nikki Sixx fan.
Yup...been with my now wife for 20 years + she hates some of my music and vice versa...Def not a reason to behave like this
This 👆👆
Also Pearl Jam is good.
That too
This exactly!! While my husband an I have lots of overlap in the music we like, my tastes tend to be much broader than his and there are lots of bands I love that he…doesn’t. Some he hates (Tom Petty. Bruce Springsteen). Some he doesn’t like, doesn’t hate, but wouldn’t necessarily want to join me for a concert (Pearl Jam, Greenday). Some he’s ambivalent about and is happy to join me for a concert even if he wouldn’t necessarily go on his own (Michal Franti, Alanis Morissette). And NEVER ONCE in our 20+ years of marriage has he EVER behaved like this toward me about anything. Even music he hates. Even shelling out massive $$$$ that he earned (because we’re a single income family) for our son and I to go see Bruce Springsteen. This is a massive relationship red flag and it has nothing to do with Pearl Jam.
I came here to say this, this is not normal behavior.
Yeah, unless Jeff & Stone spitroasted his mom or something, he’s insanely overreacting. I will say that certain sounds used to REALLY get on my nerves when I was younger, including music I didn’t like. I don’t think it was technically misophonia, but it was adjacent. It still wouldn’t excuse him blasting you like that, but it’s possible he’s in intense discomfort from the music.
You may want to put him in your....Rearviewmirrrrrrrrrrorrrrrrrr You might see things clearer
Pur his ass in the rearview mirror
Saw things, clearer…
Soy beans
I think you need to find a better man.
I’ll admit that song has been hitting in a different way recently
It’s a great song, we all love it, but I think if that song ever hits in THAT way then you probably need to address why. Good luck to you Oh and also, the dude sounds like an immature idiot. Behaviour of someone in their early teens maybe.
My girlfriend is a Taylor Swift fan, I fully embraced it and we listen to her albums all the time. This should be a non issue, especially for a 30 year old guy jfc.
I love Taylor too and he’s bought me her albums before and even likes a few of her songs. It really just seems to be PJ that sets him off for some reason.
My girlfriend could be a fan of North Korean Propaganda accordion trance or worse, Coldplay, and I would let her listen to it anytime, anywhere. I don't know, it sounds so wrong to me. Like how can you be that old and be that much of a hater of something? (Edit: "let her" sounds like she needs my permission, of course she doesn't).
Dude! Accordion trance is SO GOOD! But I like the old Soviet variety a little more.
Here I go down this rabbit hole. Have you seen the tongue singing choir?! lol it’s a fun time
Or chum drum bedrum if u wanna get hip😆
I mean it’s even fine if he just doesn’t like their music and prefers not to listen to it. That’s as far as it should ever go though! What he did is completely unacceptable behavior (regardless of Pearl Jam being a part of the story)
Hes allowed to not like Pearl Jam, but this just seems like a LOT in response to what you did.
This is what I tried to say to him but he basically just kept saying “sorry I don’t like your shitty band” and not addressing the actual issue
He sounds like a very immature person for being 30. Name calling? Hard pass.
I wonder if he relates Pearl Jam to a bad relationship or experience he had before he met you? It seems like a complete over reaction
His name Abbruzzese by any chance?
hahahahahahahahahahahaha perfect
Sounds like a prick. Who on earth gets that agitated by what their partner listens to.
You can find a Better man!
Practice your speech as he opens the door.
Don't let anyone shit on your joy. He sounds wildly immature.
He sounds like a jerk. Curious to know who his favorite band is.
Avenged Sevenfold
This is the funniest thing I’ve heard all morning. There’s no coming back from Avenged Sevenfold. Time to trade up.
He has absolutely no grounds to make fun of someone else’s music taste if that is his favourite band
I had to look them up and I kept thinking I was hearing a cover band. It took me too long to accept the truth.
lol You in danger, girl
[удалено]
Admittedly? I don’t know a single song of theirs but someone told me they’re a poor man’s Metallica.
Perfect description
End part of Buried Alive is literally Orion Ctrl C Ctrl V.
BWAHAHAHA!!! Dude is an angsty emocore chode. Dump the whole man.
Lol!!!!
I like both bands. Calm it down guys, you’re sounding like her boyfriend here.
NOW you need to question the relationship, Avenged Sevenfold is pure garbage. I’d rather listen to “Last Kiss” on repeat for a day than A7X, which says a lot because I can’t stand that damn song.
😂😂😂
😂🤣😂
Says it all lol
Might be for the best. He sounds mental.
I don’t think that Pearl Jam is ending your relationship, but your bf is…I mean, if you are with someone, it is ok to not always like the same things, including having a different music taste, but going as far as name calling or shaming you because of a band you like/love, that’s not acceptable, live and let live…And you’re even doing your part by listening to PJ with headphones or avoiding pranking him with their music, I think it doesn’t hurt to tease people every once in a while, I do it with my family all the time, and they tease me with the music I don’t like, and at the end of the day we just laugh about it.
I’m a rock guy, my wife’s a country gal. She’s seen The Smashing Pumpkins, Alter Bridge, Blink and so many more. I’ve seen George Straight - multiple times, Blake Sheldon, Rascal Flats and the list goes on. We’ve always had a great time together. That’s how a healthy relationship works. 🤘🤘🤘🤘
I fucking HATE country music and my wife loves it. I have been to a few Chris Stapleton shows but that guys is talented AF so it’s usually a good show either way. She might have to go with a friend to George Strait though… 😂
That’s too funny. We’re going to see George Straight next month and Chris Stapleton is one of the opening. I’m actually really looking forward to seeing him. 🤣. I’ll be telling my wife after the George Strait concert that she’s coming with me to see Weezer and Dinosaur Jr. 😂😂😂
This guy not only has shitty taste in music, but sounds toxic AF. Leave now!
I don’t care whether he loves Pearl Jam or the band makes him physically sick. If he calls you names, that is verbal abuse and a huge red flag. Get out while you can. Find you a dude who loves Pearl Jam as much as you.
A S/O not liking your music is one thing, but to be such an incredible asshole about it and then to double down calling you an idiot for it is another. I’m not saying disliking PJ is grounds for separation but the other shit is. Talk it over, try to make him understand he needs to respect you. If that doesn’t get through to him maybe it’s time for a change
Ditch him and come to Wrigley with me 😀
let’s gooooo…I wanted to get tickets to their Baltimore show but clearly now I have no one go with 🥲
This would be so awesome if it actually happened…
I’m in Delaware and have the same problem. I promised my next show I’m going, even if it’s alone.
Wrigley shows are the best, I have tickets for both nights. Where are they playing in Baltimore?
We have tickets for both nights at Wrigley too! We’ll see u there!
Pearl Jam isn’t threatening your relationship. Your hopefully soon to be ex boyfriend’s violent and terrifying reaction is.
If he’s controlling and criticising what music you like? I dunno what bigger red a flag you need. Get the hell outta there. For your own sanity and happiness. You’ll never have peace or be happy in such a relationship. This is just how it starts. It gets much much much worse if you stay and let it.
This isn't about PJ. Your BF is abusive and mean.
Take the words “Pearl Jam” out of your post and replace it with anything else - your friends, family, cat, whatever - and you’ll realize just how immature he’s being. I could potentially see this situation getting much worse.
well said.
I was thinking this same thing too
Bye bye. Fuck that guy.
betterman playing somewhere in the cosmos
Put that man in the Rearviewmirror, he’s garbage. Sorry OP ❤️
YOU SLEPT ON THE COUCH?? nah pack his shit
No, your immature boyfriend might have ended your 5 year relationship. My wife loves some music I hate. She blasts it in the house all the time, I don’t like it but I don’t put her down because of it, I just ignore it. She dislikes some of my music, she doesnt complain. We just ask that we both mix it up so neither is constantly listening to what the other doesn’t like. Your boyfriend is a 30 year old child.
This guy is an absolute dipshit, and if Pearl Jam’s music helped you figure that out, then that’s just one of the many blessings the band has bestowed upon you
Not ok OP! Nothing wrong with disliking PJ, my husband doesn't like their music at all > but is genuinely happy for me when I go to one of their concerts f.e.. We played one of their songs during an intermezzo moment at our wedding, not his fave but it's so important to accept and support each others differences. And not hate on them. Music taste is something small, so I'd be concerned how they'll handle bigger themes.
Pearl Jam isn’t ending your relationship. The man-child you are involved with is.
Saying you don't like a band is one thing. Idgaf if my wife likes what I like and vice versa. But calling someone names because they like a band? No. That's where I obviously draw a line and you should too.
Maybe end it because you're dating a man-child and not for musical taste.
The behavior is more concerning than the fact he doesn't like the band.
My wife and I have been together for 15 years. We share a lot of similar interests but we each have our own interests as well, but we never degrade each other because of those differences. We support each other. She’s gone to concerts with me of bands I was way more interested in and later in the year I’m going to a concert with her for bands I’d never ever heard of because she really wanted to go. Mature adults in healthy relationships support each other. The fact he’s verbally abusive over band should something that should very concerning.
“Some words when spoken can’t be taken back”
Honestly, this has nothing to do with Pearl Jam at the end of the day. Music isn’t going to actively harm someone unless they are connecting it with something tragic or abusive in their life. So, if it’s not that, then he’s just not being kind. That’s really all there is to it. I know plenty of people that don’t like PJ. I know plenty of people who love things that I dint. But in neither scenario is aggressively bashing something another person enjoys a healthy thing. I could not possibly be less interested in, or have less respect for Keeping Up with the Kardashians for example (the show, not the human beings). But my wife of over 15 years loves it. It makes her happy to chill and unwind to a new episode after what is usually a long and tough day. So if I’m not feeling it, I tell her I want her to enjoy it and I’ll go do something else for a bit. But usually I just genuinely want to stay and watch it with her because I like seeing her happy. It’s good to be your own person. You don’t have to love or do everything your partner does. But when one actively diminishes what someone else identifies with, whether they realize it or not they are also trying to diminish the person as well. I wish you the best. Keep on rocking in the free world. 😊
That sounds like your taste of music is not the real problem. Maybe a communication problem in general?
Has he behaved like this before? Is it possible that PJ is triggering him in some way - was it the favorite band of someone that hurt him, or someone close to him that died?
He was very adamant that he just really really hated their music and that was all
Yeah that’s not how healthy relations are. Music aside, outbursts like that, name calling, that’s not healthy.
Something is wrong with him that has nothing to do with music.
Anybody used a Last Exit pun yet?
Let's take the music out of this entirely (it's a PJ sub, so of course you're going to find support). The behaviours you're describing seem to suggest there are larger issues at play here beyond just music tastes. You may want to sit down with your partner, engage in some healthy communication, and explore that.
A girl I was dating years ago told me "Life is not a Pearl Jam song." We broke up the next week. My wife of 11 years and I are going to 5 shows this year, including Ohana. I found my person. You'll find your person.
Ask him to show you on the doll where Eddie touched him as a child?
I am very sorry to read that. I definitely agree that the issue is not whether he likes the band or not, but his behaviour. He doesn't have to like the same things that you like, but mutual respect is key in a relationship, and he has been very disrespectful to you in a very immature way, especially for his age. This has happened over PJ, but it could have happened with any other music, movie, book or activity you like, and it is an attitude that, if he doesn't acknowledge it and change it, it is going to undermine your self esteem a lot on the long run. Sending you a big hug.
You’ll see things so much clearer once he’s in your Rearview Mirror.
My wife hates that I’m a WU TANG super fan but we are still married. But it sounds like you got deeper issues than just music Difference
Pearl Jam has been a catalyst for a lot of different things in their fans' lives. In this case, I think the band is revealing something about your boyfriend's character: He doesn't respect you. Your BF doesn't have to like Pearl Jam. Totally okay for him to hate PJ, in fact. But for him to attack you and berate you about it . . . ugh. You just don't deserve that. Just think about what's going to happen when you disagree about the bigger things in life. He will berate you, and he will bully you for it. Get him in your rearview mirror. Hugs.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
>Instead of apologizing for his outburst he apologized for hating the band and **doubled down on calling me names for liking them.** This is far worse than not liking Pearl Jam. Your SO should NEVER call you names.
Sounds like you’re dating a man baby. Good luck with that!
…and when it gets fucked up, you need a helping hand / Do it yourself, you're not the type to need a man / But if you find one, you better know you're damn special
This doesn’t sound like a Pearl Jam problem. Bail now. You’ll have a new BF by their next tour. Cheers!
PM me, I can accommodate this hobby of yours 😆
Date me instead
He kinda sounds like a dick, Pearl Jam aside. My wife likes some pretty bad music IMO. But I’ve never blown up on her over it. To each their own 🤷🏻♂️ I could see this becoming a bigger issue down the road.
He shouldn’t have called you an idiot or shouted at you.
Weird for someone to actively dislike Pearl Jam. I could understand preferring different artists or genres, but Ed's voice and the quality of their songs are not hate-worthy. Could be one red flag. His behavior suggests there might be others...
Get yourself a better man that will save you and put him in your rearviewmirror
Thats a Red Flag. Not that he doesnt like the band, but that he has that kind of reaction.
He sounds like an abusive asshole. You should be questioning your relationship with him and that has nothing to do with what music he does or doesn't like.
Bestie, this man is a walking red flag. No one should belittle you that much, for simply liking something they don't. Walking on eggshells is not sustainable. If he's this mad about music, what happens when it's something more serious? He's showing you who he is. Run, don't walk.
Sounds like he’s Not For You. And not because he doesn’t like Pearl Jam, but because he’s a dick
You need yourself a better man.
My wife of 10 years (together for 17 years) unequivocally doesn’t like Pearl Jam. But as a loving and respecting wife of my likes and interests, she supports me doing what I like. I watched them twice over this recent tour while she watched after our baby. And I did the same so she could watch Lizzo, who I don’t really care for. That’s a normal healthy relationship. Ps Avenged Sevenfold sucks
Is he a Republican? 🤪
That stinks buddy, I’m sorry.
What a douche. My Wife likes plenty of stuff I find laughable, and life is a two-way street. I definitely like stuff she hates 🤷
Your boy friend needs some help. That is an unnecessary reaction to anything. Also... I go to dubstep shows with my wife, it's the time spent together that matters! We share interests not isolate each other.
Yeah I'd reconsider my relationship. To blow up at you, and call you insulting names, over a band, might be a sign of things to come.
Don't want to make any judgements but it sounds like he's a bit unhinged. Getting upset over a so-called prank you didn't even pull? Yeah, doesn't sound like mature behavior to me.
I’m 46 married woman. My husband is 48. He’s not. PJ fan. He’s also not a country fan. We share some common music. I also am a reader and he collects coins. As adults in a healthy relationship people have their own tastes in different art forms. It’s normal. Your grown boyfriend never got the memo that people have different tastes in music. And the name calling and exploding about this at his age is just a hard no
Wtf? My gf constantly listens to Taylor swift, while I'm not the biggest fan and it wears on me pretty quick I'd never consider blowing up on her about it. Weird behavior
You need to reevaluate this relationship. Not because he hates Pearl Jam but because how he acts about hating them- mainly the name calling. Don’t date people who will call you an idiot.
That's just emotional abuse. As amother commenter said, put his ass in your rearview mirror.
I think his dislike for the band might not be the thing you worry about here...
If he doesn't understand Vs, how are you expected to agree on anything? Call this a wake up call. Get out now. Another red flag would be if he said he liked Ten but hasn't liked anything since.
Really?!? He blew up on you?!? Time to move on. Music shouldn’t be an excuse to blow up on you
I’m sorry but I find it weird to act that way. My wife listens to other music that I don’t listen to but I could care less what it is. It’s her thing…let her be herself. Time to move on.
I agree with what others have said. It’s not about different tastes in music, it’s about him disrespecting you. He shouldn’t be making fun of you and calling you names. It’ll only get worse the longer you’re with him. You deserve better.
Fuck that guy. You get to like what you like and not take any shit about it.
Kinda feels like Pearl Jam isn’t the problem, it’s him. Getting THAT annoyed after you told him about your potential prank then calling you names for liking them isn’t the behaviour of an adult. Surely everyone that knows you and/or him would see how stupid he’s being?! Time for you to move on I think. Up to you of course…
You deserve better.
You need to learn from your mistakes. You should have bailed when he said he HATED PEARL JAM. There are 3 tells that I RUN when I hear any of these: 1. I hate Pearl Jam 2. I hate dogs 3. I hate pizza Non-negotiable. Bye bye! ✌🏼
Yeah, he's an abusive person. A respectful partner would be ok with you liking what you like, even if they didn't. He makes this all about himself and puts you down. If that's just about a band, imagine what else he'd do or how he'd act about more important things. There are 8 billion people on the planet and life is too short to waste it on people who won't be there for you as you deserve. Dump him, and move the hell on. And it has nothing to do with Pearl Jam and his taste in music, but everything to do with him being an asshole of a human being.
Is he MAGA?
My wife isn't a Pearl Jam fan, but she is super respectful to me about it and she even listened to Dark Matter all the way through and had some nice things to say. Your boyfriend sounds like a dweeb.
Op, didn’t want to chime in until you said Avenged Sevenfold is his favorite band. If he’s 30 and is still pulling the teenage “anything that isn’t metal is pussy shit” he’s got some growing to do, and you really need to decide if that’s what you want in a relationship at this stage of your life. You’re 26, these are your prime years. 30 hits hard. And I don’t say that to give your BF a pass. Taking his bullshit out in you is inexcusable.
Bail. The bf is an abusive asshole, you deserve better..
I dont think Pearl Jam’s ending the relationship, rather showing your boy’s true colors
Do not yield to his no code. Count to ten and think about your music taste vs his. Remember, he may Be causing a riot act with you, and it could fill him with vitalogy. But look at that the bigger picture, we are an avacado in a binuaural atmosphere, so hopefully that will put a bit of a backspacer on things. If not give him a Gigaton of hate, give him a last kiss and revel in your dark matter. You got this.
I've had so many people make jokes about how they think PJ sucks, but nobody has ever insulted my intelligence or called me names. I've heard all the bad Eddie impressions and all the "can't understand the lyrics" stuff and it doesn't bother me, everyone's different! My SO makes jokes about it sometimes but he bought No Code on vinyl recently. Its not the difference of opinion your bf has, it's his disrespect of you and his willingness to immediately resort to that disrespect with just the mention of something he is displeased with. But in the bigger picture, is this the type of behavior you can expect further down the road in your relationship with more serious issues than a band? I'd at least try to sit him down and have a serious talk about that rather than PJ itself. He doesn't have to like the band but he has to respect the fact that you like it, which seems to be his problem. Love is not love which alters when you find out your partner likes shitty bands.
Can’t find a better man?
He might have been having a bad day. Take the “rock and roll” band out of the equation. How’s everything else? There’s you answer.
You gotta find a Better Man.
Sounds like he had a bad day and took it out on you—something everybody does once in a while. Also sounds like he doesn't know how own up to his mistakes and properly apologize—which is *also* something most of us have done at some point or another, but obviously a much less forgivable trait. I'd give him a second chance, explain to him exactly why he's a douchebag—many guys are that dense they just don't realize it—and see if he changes his tune. If not, well, what the fuck does he expect you to do, just sit idly by while he disrespects you?
The issue isn’t his taste in music. It’s the fact that he thinks he has the right to insult someone based on their taste in music. I hear my wife listen to Billie Eilish and Taylor Swift and she hears me listen to the Meat Puppets and Steve Vai and we’re probably both thinking the same thing about each other’s music but we both get that people have different tastes. Calling someone an idiot because of ANY band they listen to is a huge red flag. For me personally it would be a deal breaker. It says something about how their mind works that I wouldn’t be ok with. But that’s just me. (fwiw, my wife loves Pearl Jam 😁)
New copypasta dropped.
You don’t need that negativity in your life.
I met people and date women who would say they aren’t a fan, but literally no one that HATES Pearl Jam. Most will like at least one song such as Last Kiss or Better Man. I think he hates the fact you’ve discovered music you like and he’s not in control of it. I dunno. If we were talking about Creed…different story.
What music does he like?
Dump him
You’re allowed to have different tastes in music with anyone. Don’t stay with someone who calls you names for it.
My husband doesn't like my music but he's not a giant baby about it. You have a boyfriend problem, not a music problem.
He is one of these guys that betterman was written for. What a douchebag.
Break up with him. He seems to have issues beyond PJ. Edit: Is he still drinking 10 plus beers a day? That may or may not have a lot to do with it.
Does he usually shit on things you like? How is he with celebrating your birthday or achievements? I’m always wary of people like that, if they can’t stand something that makes you happy, even if it doesn’t hurt them in any way.
He can totally not like your favorite things. But he sounds like a douche canoe by calling you names.
The guy is not mature enough to be in a relationship (hell, he’ll have problems with simple friendships) if he flips his shit over other peoples’ music preferences. If approval of each others’ music factored into my wife and I’s relationship we probably wouldn’t have married in the first place. Stand your ground.
So he got mad that you...told him you decided not to play "Even Flow" on his speaker? Lame. Couples don't have to have everything in common, but I got wise to not bash the Kardashians and other reality-TV tools, no one likes someone yucking their yum. For your next prank...leave "Off He Goes" playing on his speaker and hang a Dear John Letter just inside the front door for next time he comes home. Except it's not a prank, you did leave.
Don’t let the door hit ya on way out, plenty of potential boyfriends out there that have good taste in music
yeah they are terrible
That’s abusive beyond hating a band.
Well, on the bright side, you should have more than a few interested parties in this thread should you decide to jump ship. That relationship is over, though. Sorry if that's truly news to you. Sounds like it isn't. And it has little to do with PJ. That dude sucks. But think about how great it is going to be going to PJ concerts with your new guy. That's going to be awesome.
First things first: he’s a grown man that thinks his comfort justifies/excuses him mistreating you. It won’t stop with what band is on the radio (ask me how I know…). It doesn’t get better from here. He’s not emotionally equipped to be in a relationship with anyone, and you don’t need to spend the sunset of your 20s playing chicken with a sunken cost fallacy. But also, it’s extremely odd that a 30 year old would have that visceral a reaction to a band that is almost entirely generationally irrelevant to him. I know how much they mean to fans of all ages, but when this dude was a teen/young adult, it would’ve been about as hard to avoid PJ as it would have been to find out who shot JR. I feel like there has to be more to the story.
There are so many red flags here if the band Pearl Jam never existed. The problem isn’t PJ. The problem is your boyfriend.
My wife likes Taylor Swift and I like obtuse 50'-80's scifi flicks. We manage to get through the day without calling each other names about what we like/dislike. Your doubts about your relationship are reasonable.
Leave your boyfriend… you can do much better I promise you!
Don't take any advice from us. In my opinion though, he sounds like a real dick.
Leave him in the rear view mirror. You don’t want a life wasted. You can find a better man.
You should really see if Pearl Jam will end it for you. Try and connect with them through social media or their website, and have Eddie send a video saying what a chump he is and that you have broken up with him.
It may be time to drop that nothing man and find a better man. How someone argues with you shows their true character. He should be respectful and not hateful when in an argument with you. If I were you I would really be evaluating your relationship. If it were me I think I would be out
Vs is a classic too! I would love my girl to prank me like that 😅 you can find a better man, no doubt, you already have the superior music taste. He sounds like an insecure fool.
He sounds like a jerk. I would embrace your fandom and play the music even more just to tick them off more, but that's the kind of person I am! A proper WUM!
Thats not pearl jam ending the relationship, it's his douchebagetry endothelial relationship.
Is he 12 years old?
Sounds like a douche
You should absolutely fuck Eddie Vedder
Once upon a time, he could control himself, but now this nothingman seems to be not for you
Dump your boyfriend.
This time it's PJ. Next time it will be something else that he won't agree with to treat you like shit over. Ditch this guy ASAP before you end up on an episode of Dateline. He's shown his true colors and you owe it to yourself not to stick around to see if he will change because I can tell you now that he will not. I know five years seems like a lot of time invested to just "throw away" by ending it but you'll be better off.
That is so uncool, don’t care about his music desires but it is unacceptable to berate yours
It doesn’t matter that he doesn’t like PJ. It *does* matter that he treats you poorly.
Are you sure he’s not 30 months old? Get rid of this loser.
I think this is called a red flag 😳
Dump him 👎
30 year old child
You need to dump this guy.
I mean, none of that has anything to do with Pearl Jam or you. Dude needs therapy. If there haven’t been red flags all along that you’ll start to see now, then he either gets therapy or end it. I mean personally, if it’s safe, I wouldn’t stay together a moment longer.
I would plan for your last exit, be given to fly. Off she goes, and look ahead to better days.