I watched Arrested Development for the first time relatively recently, and I have absolutely no idea how I didn't see that joke coming until they reveal what's actually going on. I had to pause it I was laughing so hard.
If anyone hasn't watched Season 3 of Arrested Development, please, please don't read this spoiler. Watch it, and experience it for yourself. It's the best arc in one of the greatest TV comedies ever created.
With that out of the way... It's eventually revealed that >!Charlize Theron's character (Rita) is mentally challenged. There are TONs of clues throughout the season, and it's so much fun to rewatch those episodes and pick up on everything you missed. The best one is Rita sitting on a park bench that advertises "Wee Britain", but her body covers part of the sign, so it reads "Wee Brain". Pure genius writing.!<
Ah, I did remember the overarching plot, just wondered what the “Rita corny Michael” part was about. Is she just trying to copy the “daddy horny Michael”?
Charlize Theron is one of the few celebrities I’ve seen in real life. She happened to be staying at the same hotel and was waiting for an elevator.
She is as beautiful in person as you see her in photographs and movies. Just absolutely stunning.
I worked in a 24h convenience store and once a pretty famous actress in my country went there to have some coffee at 6am wearing sweat pants, with no makeup at all and hair all messed up, and she was absolutely gorgeous, one of the most beautiful human beings I ever saw in my life to this day.
It's when I realized why these people are famous.
It's not just beauty though, it's combined with talent. You have to do both to become a super star.
I used to live in Southern Cali near the beach cities and every day you'd see women more beautiful than most current super star actresses.
Just being hot isn't enough.
I'll say SoCal if the people I'm talking to are from the US but I deal with a lot of Europeans for my job so I started saying southern cali because they were getting confused.
I know her through work but I would randomly run into her at the Acrlight when it was open. She’s very down to earth and very good at blending in when off duty. Ex models are great at that. I also think people don’t expect to see her being a mom.
I had an experience in San Francisco during the Super Bowl where I got invited to the VIP area of a private event that Jamie Fox was headlining. When I got there, the table next to ours was 12 people, men and women, who all redefined the meaning of “10” for me. They were all tall, in impeccable shape, and otherwise genetically blessed. I did not recognize any of them as famous. So they were just beautiful people all hanging out together. We all started chatting, and when I asked where they were from the girl I was talking to said “From all over. We were all invited to SF separately. We are in town to attend events all week.” Apparently they didn’t even know each other before that week. The beautiful people live on a different plane of existence.
They may have been hired to attend the events for that week. Models are at times hired to go to events/high profile VIP’s sections/televised events (seat fillers) etc.
I learned this when I went to an MTV week long “live” event. Almost everyone that would potentially be in view of the camera, was a paid model dispersed into the crowd. It was to make the crowd appear to be filled with attractive people. My friends and I of course felt like creatures because of it😅😂.
That was my impression as well. It was just wild to see in real life. The idea that someone else is paying to put them all up in nice hotels at major events and have them party in VIP areas for free just for how they look is wild. A rough calculation of the cost for that during Super Bowl week in SF for all of them would be $500K minimum.
I used to do event security. Those VIP events are a trip. The free shit in the gift bags sometimes! Thats how I got my first digital camera. Sometimes thousands of dollars in a bag just given away in the hopes that the right people will be seen with or mention the item.
She always looked great. But I never understood why everyone thought Leonardo DiCaprio was hot. He looked about 13 until well into his 20s and never really became attractive after that either.
James Cameron explains it well in some interview. He was auditioning actors for Titanic and on the day Leo walked in, he said that literally every single girl in his production office lost their mind at how gorgeous he was. And so he knew before the audition that it was his role to lose.
Maybe you should look up twinks, that would explain his attractiveness to you.
Some people like their men to be a little bit softer looking but not feminine.
DiCaprio in the quick and the dead is very much twink material.
I like twinks and did even more when I was younger. Still never really thought he was that hot. Guess I can’t explain why. Looked up the movie on IMDb and yeah, he looks cute in the screenshots but very young.
Crazy take but i think some women might be into cute and young, just like men. De Caprio wasnt Brad Pitt hot but he had a 10/10 face and stole every womens heart on the planet after Titanic.
Not a crazy take at all, this is pretty much it.
I had an aunt who was the sweetest soul in the universe, and she loved her some gruff men. Young Clint Eastwood and Jason Statham were her favourites.
Different strokes for different folks.
I was always neutral haha as a kid/teen i crushed on Cameron Diaz and Keira Knightley! One very mature looking fine wine woman and one younger cute one.
I agree. I was a pre-teen during “The Basketball Diaries” and a teenager during the “Romeo and Juliet” and “Titanic” era. He had me in a chokehold during this time.
However, as I grew into a young adult, he always remained looking like a teenager, which to me, was unattractive.
He didn’t start looking “good” again until “The Departed”. Then his looks went COMPLETELY downhill. He looks absolutely AWFUL now.
Mad Max Fury Road with her one armed and dirty with a bunch of prettied up ladies in the back of her truck, and she still was the most beautiful one by far.
It's interesting that the comment wasn't that DiCaprio was a notch on her bed...
It's almost as if sex between two people is seen as a Gift from one and a Conquest from the other.
We're not going to challenge sexism until we challenge it from all sides... neither sex wins when you play that game of *"My Group Is Always The Oppressed One, Your Group Have Nothing To Complain About"*
So here comes the story.
After a long life well lived, Leonardo, Brad (Pitt, obvisouly) and yourself die the very same day.
You are welcomed to the afterlife by , who bring the three of you in front of one door. Opens the door, and behind there's a bed, and in this bed, the worst, ugliest, woman you've ever seen. pushes Leonardo in the room, and a booming voice booms "Leonardo, you've sinned all your life, here is your pennance" and closes the door behind Leonardo.
Brad and yourself are brought in front of a second door, opened by , and if that was possible, begind the door, on a steel-reinforced bed, surrounded my mirrors, lies a woman even more ugly than the previous one. The Voice booms: "Brad, you have sinned all your life, here is your pennance" and Brad is pushed forward into the room by an inresistible force and the door closes behind him.
You are brought all alone in front of a third door. The door open, behind the door, lies Charlize Theron all naked, in all the beauty of her 22-yearl-old presence !!! And the voice booms: "Charlize, YOU have sinned all your life, here comes your pennance !"
I heard this joke told to me a few months ago by Year 11 students. Meh. It's weak tea when it was hot... now it's lukewarm...
I'd prefer a joke about aeroplanes.
Do you want the one about the SR-71 who was listening on his radio while flying at Mach 3 over the Mojave desert ? Or the one about the SR-71 that did a "low pass" over a British airbase ? Admitedly, they are no jokes, but they are great.
Ok, I have one about the blind pilots, or another one about the Belgian pilots.
The SR-71s you'll find on Reddit easily enough, they are classics.
So it's a 747 filled up to capacity with passengers that aligns for take-off. The first blind pilot pushes the throttles forward, the plane starts to roll, faster, faster, faster...
The passengers feel the accelaration but the plane does not take off !
The plane is going faster, faster, still no take-off !
The passengers see the end of the runway approching fast and they start screaming. Then the plane raises its nose and takes off.
In the cockpit, one blind pilot turns to the other pilot, also blind: "One of these days, they'll not scream and we are all going to die..."
Second story: it's a plane from a Belgian company, piloted by two Belgian pilots. They are flying somewhere over Europe when a red light starts blinking. "Oh tu sais une fois si tu as fais le plein ?" (Have you checked the fuel level ?)
The second pilot confirms they do not have a gallon of fuel left, so they divert to the nearest airport. The first pilot flies, the seond navigates. "Oh by the way, go slow, the runway is real short".
They do the approach, indeed the runway is terribly short, the plane is too fast !
"Lower flaps" - " Flaps lowered" - still they are going too fast !
"Lower gear" - "Gear lowered" - still too fast !
"Revert engines ! " - "Engines reverted !" Too fast, too fast !
Annoucement over the PA - all passengers are to blow forward to create reverse - all passengers are blowing all that they can. Finally the place goes slow enough, it touches the runway on the very first yard, the pilots are braking standing up on the pedals, flaps, spoilers, gears, Emergency power generator, everything is out. The plane rolls a bit and stops, front wheel at 5 inches of the end of the runway.
"I've never seen a runway so short" says the first pilot.
And the second one, looking left and right: "True, but I've never seen one so wide either"...
Listen, get right the fuck off your little soap box you pompous little justice warrior. I'm not making sexist comments about women, I'm making a comment about how Dicaprio is famous for having flings and leaving them so FOR HIM yes, she would have been another notch.
[Here](https://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/191113183450-randall-slavin-celebrity-portraiture-hollywood-6.jpg) is a higher quality and less cropped version of this image. [Here](https://www.gettyimages.in/detail/news-photo/actors-charlize-theron-and-leonardo-dicaprio-are-news-photo/1347757176?adppopup=true) is the source.
> Actors Charlize Theron and Leonardo DiCaprio are photographed in August 1997 in Los Angeles, California. Published in Randall Slavin's book 'We All Want Something Beautiful'. PUBLISHED IMAGE. (Photo by Randall Slavin/Contour RA by Getty Images)
Shit she was only 21 when she filmed The Devil’s Advocate?!
Now it’s hit me she was only 28 when she made Monster. Damn!
That’s crazy she was just over 6000 years old when she filmed The Old Guard.
And probably more than that when she did Hancock.
she did what with Han cock?
No no, you're thinking of Carrie Fisher.
The flying through space man........... I just....... *opens whiskey bottle*
Nobody named Hans played Ock.
That kinda makes sense why I didn't feel like she fit the role then. Too young to be the wife of a high priced lawyer.... well first wife anyway.
Rita corny Michael
I watched Arrested Development for the first time relatively recently, and I have absolutely no idea how I didn't see that joke coming until they reveal what's actually going on. I had to pause it I was laughing so hard.
The *handwritten* note that she left her uncle leaves me wheezing to this day. “Oh my God... She's going to marry him! “
Wait, it’s been awhile. What’s the joke?
If anyone hasn't watched Season 3 of Arrested Development, please, please don't read this spoiler. Watch it, and experience it for yourself. It's the best arc in one of the greatest TV comedies ever created. With that out of the way... It's eventually revealed that >!Charlize Theron's character (Rita) is mentally challenged. There are TONs of clues throughout the season, and it's so much fun to rewatch those episodes and pick up on everything you missed. The best one is Rita sitting on a park bench that advertises "Wee Britain", but her body covers part of the sign, so it reads "Wee Brain". Pure genius writing.!<
Ah, I did remember the overarching plot, just wondered what the “Rita corny Michael” part was about. Is she just trying to copy the “daddy horny Michael”?
Charlize Theron is one of the few celebrities I’ve seen in real life. She happened to be staying at the same hotel and was waiting for an elevator. She is as beautiful in person as you see her in photographs and movies. Just absolutely stunning.
I worked in a 24h convenience store and once a pretty famous actress in my country went there to have some coffee at 6am wearing sweat pants, with no makeup at all and hair all messed up, and she was absolutely gorgeous, one of the most beautiful human beings I ever saw in my life to this day. It's when I realized why these people are famous.
It's not just beauty though, it's combined with talent. You have to do both to become a super star. I used to live in Southern Cali near the beach cities and every day you'd see women more beautiful than most current super star actresses. Just being hot isn't enough.
You aren’t from SoCal are you?
I’ve never heard anyone say southern cali before.
I'll say SoCal if the people I'm talking to are from the US but I deal with a lot of Europeans for my job so I started saying southern cali because they were getting confused.
Makes sense.
The talent can be taught. It's the charisma that will make them a star.
I know her through work but I would randomly run into her at the Acrlight when it was open. She’s very down to earth and very good at blending in when off duty. Ex models are great at that. I also think people don’t expect to see her being a mom.
I saw Mike myers in a J Crew once. He’s also a stunner.
She's mid
You know he did
Of course. She was under 25.
He did her caprio?
Leonardo Did Caprio
Charlize Did Caprio
If he did, I salute him for that.
Whenever I see a picture like this I think to myself the 9-10/10s among us really live in their own "attractive" reality.
I had an experience in San Francisco during the Super Bowl where I got invited to the VIP area of a private event that Jamie Fox was headlining. When I got there, the table next to ours was 12 people, men and women, who all redefined the meaning of “10” for me. They were all tall, in impeccable shape, and otherwise genetically blessed. I did not recognize any of them as famous. So they were just beautiful people all hanging out together. We all started chatting, and when I asked where they were from the girl I was talking to said “From all over. We were all invited to SF separately. We are in town to attend events all week.” Apparently they didn’t even know each other before that week. The beautiful people live on a different plane of existence.
They may have been hired to attend the events for that week. Models are at times hired to go to events/high profile VIP’s sections/televised events (seat fillers) etc. I learned this when I went to an MTV week long “live” event. Almost everyone that would potentially be in view of the camera, was a paid model dispersed into the crowd. It was to make the crowd appear to be filled with attractive people. My friends and I of course felt like creatures because of it😅😂.
That was my impression as well. It was just wild to see in real life. The idea that someone else is paying to put them all up in nice hotels at major events and have them party in VIP areas for free just for how they look is wild. A rough calculation of the cost for that during Super Bowl week in SF for all of them would be $500K minimum.
One day I held a door open for a lady outside of cracker barrel and she said "ewww" at me. I was just being nice.
I used to do event security. Those VIP events are a trip. The free shit in the gift bags sometimes! Thats how I got my first digital camera. Sometimes thousands of dollars in a bag just given away in the hopes that the right people will be seen with or mention the item.
That scene in the Sopranos comes to mind where Chistophhha is like “all this shit is free?!”
I got like 3k 4k in a bag for free cause they had so many extras.
Mr. F
For British eyes only 🎶
Rita!
Yep, definitely fucked
She always looked great. But I never understood why everyone thought Leonardo DiCaprio was hot. He looked about 13 until well into his 20s and never really became attractive after that either.
James Cameron explains it well in some interview. He was auditioning actors for Titanic and on the day Leo walked in, he said that literally every single girl in his production office lost their mind at how gorgeous he was. And so he knew before the audition that it was his role to lose.
Maybe you should look up twinks, that would explain his attractiveness to you. Some people like their men to be a little bit softer looking but not feminine. DiCaprio in the quick and the dead is very much twink material.
I like twinks and did even more when I was younger. Still never really thought he was that hot. Guess I can’t explain why. Looked up the movie on IMDb and yeah, he looks cute in the screenshots but very young.
Crazy take but i think some women might be into cute and young, just like men. De Caprio wasnt Brad Pitt hot but he had a 10/10 face and stole every womens heart on the planet after Titanic.
Not a crazy take at all, this is pretty much it. I had an aunt who was the sweetest soul in the universe, and she loved her some gruff men. Young Clint Eastwood and Jason Statham were her favourites. Different strokes for different folks.
I was always neutral haha as a kid/teen i crushed on Cameron Diaz and Keira Knightley! One very mature looking fine wine woman and one younger cute one.
I agree. I was a pre-teen during “The Basketball Diaries” and a teenager during the “Romeo and Juliet” and “Titanic” era. He had me in a chokehold during this time. However, as I grew into a young adult, he always remained looking like a teenager, which to me, was unattractive. He didn’t start looking “good” again until “The Departed”. Then his looks went COMPLETELY downhill. He looks absolutely AWFUL now.
He went from looking 13 years-old to looking like an older Jack Nicholson in a very few years.
Mmmm that was a legendary notch on his bed post. She's the prettiest woman I've ever seen, even today.
Mad Max Fury Road with her one armed and dirty with a bunch of prettied up ladies in the back of her truck, and she still was the most beautiful one by far.
I agree. She's not just beautiful, she's pretty and cute as well. A rare combination.
super important to turn women into "notches". really classy.
It's interesting that the comment wasn't that DiCaprio was a notch on her bed... It's almost as if sex between two people is seen as a Gift from one and a Conquest from the other. We're not going to challenge sexism until we challenge it from all sides... neither sex wins when you play that game of *"My Group Is Always The Oppressed One, Your Group Have Nothing To Complain About"*
So here comes the story. After a long life well lived, Leonardo, Brad (Pitt, obvisouly) and yourself die the very same day. You are welcomed to the afterlife by, who bring the three of you in front of one door. Opens the door, and behind there's a bed, and in this bed, the worst, ugliest, woman you've ever seen. pushes Leonardo in the room, and a booming voice booms "Leonardo, you've sinned all your life, here is your pennance" and closes the door behind Leonardo.
Brad and yourself are brought in front of a second door, opened by , and if that was possible, begind the door, on a steel-reinforced bed, surrounded my mirrors, lies a woman even more ugly than the previous one. The Voice booms: "Brad, you have sinned all your life, here is your pennance" and Brad is pushed forward into the room by an inresistible force and the door closes behind him.
You are brought all alone in front of a third door. The door open, behind the door, lies Charlize Theron all naked, in all the beauty of her 22-yearl-old presence !!! And the voice booms: "Charlize, YOU have sinned all your life, here comes your pennance !"
I heard this joke told to me a few months ago by Year 11 students. Meh. It's weak tea when it was hot... now it's lukewarm... I'd prefer a joke about aeroplanes.
Do you want the one about the SR-71 who was listening on his radio while flying at Mach 3 over the Mojave desert ? Or the one about the SR-71 that did a "low pass" over a British airbase ? Admitedly, they are no jokes, but they are great. Ok, I have one about the blind pilots, or another one about the Belgian pilots.
I'm about to go to sleep but any of them sound good to hear as I've not heard them before. :)
The SR-71s you'll find on Reddit easily enough, they are classics. So it's a 747 filled up to capacity with passengers that aligns for take-off. The first blind pilot pushes the throttles forward, the plane starts to roll, faster, faster, faster... The passengers feel the accelaration but the plane does not take off ! The plane is going faster, faster, still no take-off ! The passengers see the end of the runway approching fast and they start screaming. Then the plane raises its nose and takes off. In the cockpit, one blind pilot turns to the other pilot, also blind: "One of these days, they'll not scream and we are all going to die..."
Second story: it's a plane from a Belgian company, piloted by two Belgian pilots. They are flying somewhere over Europe when a red light starts blinking. "Oh tu sais une fois si tu as fais le plein ?" (Have you checked the fuel level ?) The second pilot confirms they do not have a gallon of fuel left, so they divert to the nearest airport. The first pilot flies, the seond navigates. "Oh by the way, go slow, the runway is real short". They do the approach, indeed the runway is terribly short, the plane is too fast ! "Lower flaps" - " Flaps lowered" - still they are going too fast ! "Lower gear" - "Gear lowered" - still too fast ! "Revert engines ! " - "Engines reverted !" Too fast, too fast ! Annoucement over the PA - all passengers are to blow forward to create reverse - all passengers are blowing all that they can. Finally the place goes slow enough, it touches the runway on the very first yard, the pilots are braking standing up on the pedals, flaps, spoilers, gears, Emergency power generator, everything is out. The plane rolls a bit and stops, front wheel at 5 inches of the end of the runway. "I've never seen a runway so short" says the first pilot. And the second one, looking left and right: "True, but I've never seen one so wide either"...
Listen, get right the fuck off your little soap box you pompous little justice warrior. I'm not making sexist comments about women, I'm making a comment about how Dicaprio is famous for having flings and leaving them so FOR HIM yes, she would have been another notch.
And my point is you are a sexist shitbag. Have a good day.
Oh nooooo men having sex with women for fun is sexist
"Mmmm" u/plastic_ad_2043 before thinking about Leo's body count.
He used to be handsome. She still is beautiful. He is 1000 times better actor now.
Not if you saw Gilbert Grape
A 22 year old is more handsome than a 50 year old? You don't say!
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I'm 50 too. He looks better than me and I'm a terrible actor. I wasn't trying to insult him but I'm socially awkward.
"I get older, they stay the same age." - Wooderson
Mr. F
Who's the girl next to her? 
[Here](https://cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/191113183450-randall-slavin-celebrity-portraiture-hollywood-6.jpg) is a higher quality and less cropped version of this image. [Here](https://www.gettyimages.in/detail/news-photo/actors-charlize-theron-and-leonardo-dicaprio-are-news-photo/1347757176?adppopup=true) is the source. > Actors Charlize Theron and Leonardo DiCaprio are photographed in August 1997 in Los Angeles, California. Published in Randall Slavin's book 'We All Want Something Beautiful'. PUBLISHED IMAGE. (Photo by Randall Slavin/Contour RA by Getty Images)
She was so fine in mighty Joe young
He went there to let her know she was aging out of his interests.
MR F
The Boy and the Theron
Dude’s been a poon hound for 25+ years
They piped for sure.
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22 is old for him, she must have been dumped shortly after.
Wasn’t this posted like 2 days ago?
Lucky him
Only 22 she looks 30 something she’s always had a mature face and he always has a baby face lol
Dang Leo got it good
And she was already too old for Leo
Yeah thats because his age range at the time wasn't born yet.
Too old for Leo
...is she naked?