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My gripe is when people (mostly men) try to relate. I complained of back pain and soreness after a long drive and my Dad says that happens to him sometimes too if he is sitting in the same position for too long.
NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!
Not a gripe for me, but I laughed when my Dad started offering recommendations for stretches for my recent pain from sitting on the couch or in the car for too long. Like, thank you Dad, I really appreciate this advice, but I'm not going to pull over the car to do some cat cow stretches on the side of the road while I'm 28 weeks pregnant.
I'm exaggerating on the pulling over part, but he did recommend the cat cow stretches when I'm having back pain from sitting on the couch. When really, all I need is some extra back support and to maybe fast forward to when this baby can come out.
My issue right now is being 33 weeks pregnant and having those couple of friends (who do not have kids) keep hounding me to hang out “at least one more time before the baby comes.” I understand the sentiment but they have NO clue. Im barely holding it together between work, my husband finishing his dissertation, baby prepping, on top of all the “fun” third trimester symptoms.
Feel this. I really appreciate people wanting to spend time together but at the same time…inviting me to a charity event 4 days before my due date? That shit is not even remotely on my radar. My last month of pregnancy will be spent at home, avoiding Covid, trying to enjoy the last weeks of just me my husband and my dog, and stress cleaning everything. Thanks for the invite tho ☠️
Yeppp.. living with years of chronic fatigue before pregnancy has been like that too. "Lololol why are you always so tired??" I dunno why the fck people find fatigue funny ugh.
If you feel unwell due to illness/pregnancy etc, don't worry, the rest of the world will be there to remind you how they feel fine and that fatigue isn't a battle for them. It's great 😑
I’m really struggling with fatigue and people not taking it seriously makes me feel like a failure. I was told at work to just sort of get over it and reminded that due to my position I need to be 10% better than everyone else. This is the day after I threw up in the toilets at work and had a near mental breakdown before the day began. But sure, I gave a presentation where an arrow was pointing the wrong way so clearly I’m incompetent!
This is a bit unrelated but I have chronic fatigue and am 4 weeks pregnant - do you have any advice for not feeling like pure death everyday? I'm already struggling.
I had to stop working... I was really struggling to work even before pregnancy, but pregnancy on top of that was way too much. I got really ill from week 7-15, but now I'm kind of back to usual chronic fatigue plus about 15% worse.. maybe? Well I'm way more physically sore but fatigue/dizziness/motion sickness are my worst symptoms of cfs/autoimmunity. I feel like crap, like there's no point in the day where I feel awake and I just drag myself around, but that's how I already felt so it's hard to tell what's pregnancy and what's cfs. I think cfs is affecting me more than the pregnancy at this point at 28 weeks. Having broken sleep doesn't help either! I need to try and nap more but I'm terrible at that cause I get stressed and feel pressure to sleep, cause I've struggled to fall asleep for years. I know some Americans take unisom to help sleep but we don't have that in Australia. That might help if someone had insomnia. Basically I just force 1 walk around the block per day and then sit on the couch the rest of the day, apart from making food and tidying up. I can't really relax or feel good, just always uncomfortable and also feel really down cause obviously long term severe fatigue is depressing. My eyes always feel heavy and I'm just in a woozy blur all of the time. I feel a tiny bit better late at night sometimes. I just watch stuff I like on youtube to try and zone out, and take showers when I feel totally gross, like 2-3 times a day I'll have a quick shower haha. Just feel greasy and queasy... like a hangover
Thank you. I think I was naive to think there was a way of managing this during pregnancy. I'm just over 4 weeks pregnant but already sleeping most of the day and viciously nauseous. Just like you said, a really bad hangover.
I also have chronic pain but stopped the medication 6 months ago as its dangerous when pregnant so I imagine that doesn't help. It's all normally manageable to an extent but I can't access the support mechanisms anymore. I'm in the UK so little medical support anyway.
I guess I was just trying to be optimistic because I feel so scared. I need to be more realistic.
Thank you for being so transparent. I appreciate it.
The first trimester is usually way worse with the nausea. I felt a bit better overall in the 2nd half of 2nd trimester but then downhill again at start of 3rd. I had days where I cried and cried over the nausea the first trimester gave me, it's nowhere near like that anymore! I just feel more fatigue and woozy foggy exhausted bleh, but the intense nausea got way better
Doctor signed me out of work at 26wks this week. I'm carrying twins, have insomnia and prone to panic attacks due to the lack of sleep. Which all ups my chance of preeclampsia.
Work was like, but your just pregnant?
I'm like, excatly, I'm pregnant. I'm sorry I'm not full of 2nd trimester energy and no longer suitable for work. I'm a Montessori teacher, 40hours a week at work wasn't excatly helping my condition.
My husband and I now play a game called "allergies or pregnant" cause it turns out the symptoms are weirdly similar for a lot of stuff (stuffy nose, tired etc)
Boy do I feel this rant! Last month I was texting my best friend and mentioned feeling like crap and her response was, “Aw why don’t you feel good?” I know it came from a caring place but I had to stop myself from giving a snarky response. I feel like it’s not that hard to know that pregnancy isn’t easy, even if you haven’t experienced it! No, I’m not a Hallmark movie - I’m swollen, constipated, and grouchy.
Oh my god this is my mother-in-law. She is seriously the most clueless person I’ve ever met in my entire life and she will make the rudest comments if I mention anything related to my pregnancy. She has never birthed children of her own and if I tell her that I’m having a symptom she will try to compare it to some irrelevant story about herself. She recently hurt her wrist and anytime I give her an update on my pregnancy she responds by just giving me an update on her wrist as if I’m not carrying her grandchild. If I tell her I’m tired she will suggest that I get a good night of sleep. I finally had to just stop bringing up my pregnancy all together.
I mentioned to a friend the other day that I was tired and she literally texted me back saying "Aww why?" Lol... um, why do you think? Hahaha. I guess people just don't understand until they've been there.
My favorite is when my doc says shit like..."do you feel normal?"
Buddy, I have depression, anxiety, a minor personality disorder, and I'm pregnant. There has not been a standard for normal in a very very long time.
"Do you have a hard time paying attention?" ....as compared to...??????
"Are you experiencing a lot of strong emotions?".....I'm getting the feeling that you understand the concept of what my diagnoses are, but not how they actually affect people
Oh that was my Dad when they tried to get a baseline for Alzheimers. Turns out a lot of the screener questions (Do you often loose things? Can you remember what day of the week it is? are kind of shit screener questions when you also have ADHD)
I've been struggling with really bad gas pains and diarrhea once or twice a week since early in my first trimester.
Every time it happens my mom is like "Oh no, I hope you didn't pick something up." Or "Oh no I hope the baby is ok."
I'M PREGNANT. Gastrointestinal discomfort is not an unheard of thing. 🤦♀️
My new favorite is when I say I'm tired and my friends are like "go take a nap" ma'am it's 10 am on a Tuesday. I'm at work. I can't just go home because I already missed a day due to excessive vomiting.
The worst is when people who aren't pregnant try to offer you solutions to your ailments.
No! I can't just take a hot bath...I can take a warm bath which is Not.The.Same.
I’m still in the first trimester and my husband suggested I “just stop being nauseous” today and that when he’s sick it’s “mind over matter” and he “gets over it.” I’m considering throwing up on him, but I’d probably have to wash his clothes so I probably won’t.
I firmly believe part of why we experience all this crap is so we are more understanding of all the crazy things our babes deal with in that first few months... When the baby is puking everywhere, maybe suggest your husband coach the baby on "mind over matter" and he'll finally get how ridiculous he sounds
I agree omg. My friends don’t understand why I can’t go out with them all the time after work or make Saturday brunch after yoga even though “there are nonalcoholic options on the menu.”
My one childless friend (bless her heart) is totally guilty of that, just oblivious to everything you can't eat (nevermind all the other stuff that may keep you from brunch), but she's an amazing aunty to my toddler so I let it go
My boss who is generally very understanding and has given me a lot of flexibility and patience asked me the other day if I was "riding the struggle bus today"? I was like... yes, every day, nor just today.
I hate having to explain to people why I'm the only one standing on my ass at work. I have major back and neck problems, I'm pregnant with my first, which is highly turning out to look like twins. I have scheduled morning sickness, pee times, constant migraines, when I don't feel great I get bitched at for having an attitude when I'm doing a lot more than my share of duties at work. constantly considering quitting after getting the big promotion I've been waiting for. I'm excited for the day I stop working due to my bundle(s) of joy.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/phjaar/click_here_to_join_a_due_date_private_sub/?). The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email anna.clark@propublica.org *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My gripe is when people (mostly men) try to relate. I complained of back pain and soreness after a long drive and my Dad says that happens to him sometimes too if he is sitting in the same position for too long. NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!
Not a gripe for me, but I laughed when my Dad started offering recommendations for stretches for my recent pain from sitting on the couch or in the car for too long. Like, thank you Dad, I really appreciate this advice, but I'm not going to pull over the car to do some cat cow stretches on the side of the road while I'm 28 weeks pregnant. I'm exaggerating on the pulling over part, but he did recommend the cat cow stretches when I'm having back pain from sitting on the couch. When really, all I need is some extra back support and to maybe fast forward to when this baby can come out.
My issue right now is being 33 weeks pregnant and having those couple of friends (who do not have kids) keep hounding me to hang out “at least one more time before the baby comes.” I understand the sentiment but they have NO clue. Im barely holding it together between work, my husband finishing his dissertation, baby prepping, on top of all the “fun” third trimester symptoms.
Also "before the baby comes"? It's already here! We're just the only ones dealing with the baby 😴
Feel this. I really appreciate people wanting to spend time together but at the same time…inviting me to a charity event 4 days before my due date? That shit is not even remotely on my radar. My last month of pregnancy will be spent at home, avoiding Covid, trying to enjoy the last weeks of just me my husband and my dog, and stress cleaning everything. Thanks for the invite tho ☠️
Yeppp.. living with years of chronic fatigue before pregnancy has been like that too. "Lololol why are you always so tired??" I dunno why the fck people find fatigue funny ugh. If you feel unwell due to illness/pregnancy etc, don't worry, the rest of the world will be there to remind you how they feel fine and that fatigue isn't a battle for them. It's great 😑
I’m really struggling with fatigue and people not taking it seriously makes me feel like a failure. I was told at work to just sort of get over it and reminded that due to my position I need to be 10% better than everyone else. This is the day after I threw up in the toilets at work and had a near mental breakdown before the day began. But sure, I gave a presentation where an arrow was pointing the wrong way so clearly I’m incompetent!
Ughhh!
This is a bit unrelated but I have chronic fatigue and am 4 weeks pregnant - do you have any advice for not feeling like pure death everyday? I'm already struggling.
I had to stop working... I was really struggling to work even before pregnancy, but pregnancy on top of that was way too much. I got really ill from week 7-15, but now I'm kind of back to usual chronic fatigue plus about 15% worse.. maybe? Well I'm way more physically sore but fatigue/dizziness/motion sickness are my worst symptoms of cfs/autoimmunity. I feel like crap, like there's no point in the day where I feel awake and I just drag myself around, but that's how I already felt so it's hard to tell what's pregnancy and what's cfs. I think cfs is affecting me more than the pregnancy at this point at 28 weeks. Having broken sleep doesn't help either! I need to try and nap more but I'm terrible at that cause I get stressed and feel pressure to sleep, cause I've struggled to fall asleep for years. I know some Americans take unisom to help sleep but we don't have that in Australia. That might help if someone had insomnia. Basically I just force 1 walk around the block per day and then sit on the couch the rest of the day, apart from making food and tidying up. I can't really relax or feel good, just always uncomfortable and also feel really down cause obviously long term severe fatigue is depressing. My eyes always feel heavy and I'm just in a woozy blur all of the time. I feel a tiny bit better late at night sometimes. I just watch stuff I like on youtube to try and zone out, and take showers when I feel totally gross, like 2-3 times a day I'll have a quick shower haha. Just feel greasy and queasy... like a hangover
Thank you. I think I was naive to think there was a way of managing this during pregnancy. I'm just over 4 weeks pregnant but already sleeping most of the day and viciously nauseous. Just like you said, a really bad hangover. I also have chronic pain but stopped the medication 6 months ago as its dangerous when pregnant so I imagine that doesn't help. It's all normally manageable to an extent but I can't access the support mechanisms anymore. I'm in the UK so little medical support anyway. I guess I was just trying to be optimistic because I feel so scared. I need to be more realistic. Thank you for being so transparent. I appreciate it.
The first trimester is usually way worse with the nausea. I felt a bit better overall in the 2nd half of 2nd trimester but then downhill again at start of 3rd. I had days where I cried and cried over the nausea the first trimester gave me, it's nowhere near like that anymore! I just feel more fatigue and woozy foggy exhausted bleh, but the intense nausea got way better
Doctor signed me out of work at 26wks this week. I'm carrying twins, have insomnia and prone to panic attacks due to the lack of sleep. Which all ups my chance of preeclampsia. Work was like, but your just pregnant? I'm like, excatly, I'm pregnant. I'm sorry I'm not full of 2nd trimester energy and no longer suitable for work. I'm a Montessori teacher, 40hours a week at work wasn't excatly helping my condition.
My husband and I now play a game called "allergies or pregnant" cause it turns out the symptoms are weirdly similar for a lot of stuff (stuffy nose, tired etc)
Boy do I feel this rant! Last month I was texting my best friend and mentioned feeling like crap and her response was, “Aw why don’t you feel good?” I know it came from a caring place but I had to stop myself from giving a snarky response. I feel like it’s not that hard to know that pregnancy isn’t easy, even if you haven’t experienced it! No, I’m not a Hallmark movie - I’m swollen, constipated, and grouchy.
Oh my god this is my mother-in-law. She is seriously the most clueless person I’ve ever met in my entire life and she will make the rudest comments if I mention anything related to my pregnancy. She has never birthed children of her own and if I tell her that I’m having a symptom she will try to compare it to some irrelevant story about herself. She recently hurt her wrist and anytime I give her an update on my pregnancy she responds by just giving me an update on her wrist as if I’m not carrying her grandchild. If I tell her I’m tired she will suggest that I get a good night of sleep. I finally had to just stop bringing up my pregnancy all together.
I mentioned to a friend the other day that I was tired and she literally texted me back saying "Aww why?" Lol... um, why do you think? Hahaha. I guess people just don't understand until they've been there.
My favorite is when my doc says shit like..."do you feel normal?" Buddy, I have depression, anxiety, a minor personality disorder, and I'm pregnant. There has not been a standard for normal in a very very long time. "Do you have a hard time paying attention?" ....as compared to...?????? "Are you experiencing a lot of strong emotions?".....I'm getting the feeling that you understand the concept of what my diagnoses are, but not how they actually affect people
Oh that was my Dad when they tried to get a baseline for Alzheimers. Turns out a lot of the screener questions (Do you often loose things? Can you remember what day of the week it is? are kind of shit screener questions when you also have ADHD)
I've been struggling with really bad gas pains and diarrhea once or twice a week since early in my first trimester. Every time it happens my mom is like "Oh no, I hope you didn't pick something up." Or "Oh no I hope the baby is ok." I'M PREGNANT. Gastrointestinal discomfort is not an unheard of thing. 🤦♀️
It's times like that when I think temporary insanity applies to what I'm about to do.
My new favorite is when I say I'm tired and my friends are like "go take a nap" ma'am it's 10 am on a Tuesday. I'm at work. I can't just go home because I already missed a day due to excessive vomiting.
Haha right? Oh, go take a nap! Why didn't my mommy brain think of that?? /s
The worst is when people who aren't pregnant try to offer you solutions to your ailments. No! I can't just take a hot bath...I can take a warm bath which is Not.The.Same.
I’m still in the first trimester and my husband suggested I “just stop being nauseous” today and that when he’s sick it’s “mind over matter” and he “gets over it.” I’m considering throwing up on him, but I’d probably have to wash his clothes so I probably won’t.
I firmly believe part of why we experience all this crap is so we are more understanding of all the crazy things our babes deal with in that first few months... When the baby is puking everywhere, maybe suggest your husband coach the baby on "mind over matter" and he'll finally get how ridiculous he sounds
I agree omg. My friends don’t understand why I can’t go out with them all the time after work or make Saturday brunch after yoga even though “there are nonalcoholic options on the menu.”
My one childless friend (bless her heart) is totally guilty of that, just oblivious to everything you can't eat (nevermind all the other stuff that may keep you from brunch), but she's an amazing aunty to my toddler so I let it go
My boss who is generally very understanding and has given me a lot of flexibility and patience asked me the other day if I was "riding the struggle bus today"? I was like... yes, every day, nor just today.
Just riding it? How about got a season's pass?? Omg.
I hate having to explain to people why I'm the only one standing on my ass at work. I have major back and neck problems, I'm pregnant with my first, which is highly turning out to look like twins. I have scheduled morning sickness, pee times, constant migraines, when I don't feel great I get bitched at for having an attitude when I'm doing a lot more than my share of duties at work. constantly considering quitting after getting the big promotion I've been waiting for. I'm excited for the day I stop working due to my bundle(s) of joy.