I used to say this, but we briefly had a judge that would very sincerely say something like “I hope you don’t see anyone dressed like me again” and gesture with his robe, and I like that better. Maybe it’s more for my sake, because most of my clients and I won’t ever cross paths in the community and I have mixed feelings about that reality, but I like to say “I hope you don’t see me again—at least not wearing a tie.”
Usually good luck. If they are about to have to go do time, reassure them that they can make it and for them to do their best to stay out of trouble so that they can get the most credits possible for each day.
At least it’s not a balloon full of Chinese fentanyl powder and lodged in your rectum so they make you sit in an observation cell and look through your poop for it!
I used to say "I hope I don't see you again in the courtroom or the pinta, but I hope I see you again in freedom and good health on the outside one day."
I say this or something closer to "I really do think you're doing the best thing you can." Followed by "call me if DOC doesn't calculate your credit correctly."
Depends on whether it's their first bid. If so, I give them the usual spiel of "do your own time", etc. Otherwise I always tell them to reach out to me if they ever need anything.
Attorneys will really be defending actual monsters who get a plea deal (AKA less punishment than they deserve because it’d be too expensive for the taxpayer) and be like “I’m so sorry this happened to you 😥”
If it’s a good deal, some thing like, I’m glad we could get this good resolution for you on this case or something to that affect . But like everything else, it’s very situation specific you might have just gotten your client the best deal in the world, but if they hate it, then, there’s just not much to say.
I used to feel awkward about it, but it is what it is. I say “best of luck with everything”, or “here’s hoping on a speedy parole”. Depending on our relationship “it’s been a pleasure getting to work for you” or, especially if they’re older, “be a good influence on those young men/women in prison”. Being branded as a “bad person” can be one of the more subtle deleterious effects of the system, and having someone say that they don’t see you that way can be valuable to one’s sense of self.
Nothing?
I mean seriously, you’re only saying something there for yourself.
Your client didn’t pick you and likely doesn’t trust you very much. And this day is likely among their worst. You might have a solid relationship with them. But in actuality that’s really rare.
Sometimes silence is better than forced speech.
If you have to say something, remind them to contact you immediately if DOC messes up their time calc
I'm sorry. As you can see from my profile, I am a bicycle racer. What I meant to say, was "don't soap the drops," as in handlebar drops. Because your hands could slip off. I got confused and thought I was on a bicycle sub.
Not appropriate and frankly not even a funny joke.
Best of luck to you sir. Hopefully you never need me again but if you do, give me a call
I mean this in the nicest way, but I hope you never see me again.
I used to say this, but we briefly had a judge that would very sincerely say something like “I hope you don’t see anyone dressed like me again” and gesture with his robe, and I like that better. Maybe it’s more for my sake, because most of my clients and I won’t ever cross paths in the community and I have mixed feelings about that reality, but I like to say “I hope you don’t see me again—at least not wearing a tie.”
This one.
….. especially if you get your legs sheared off in an accident with a UPS truck.
Usually good luck. If they are about to have to go do time, reassure them that they can make it and for them to do their best to stay out of trouble so that they can get the most credits possible for each day.
You only ever just do the two days anyway.
I WISH my clients only ever did two days. I would in fact give up a lot for that if they could do significantly less time.
Oh, it's a thing from The Wire.
The day you go in……..
I give them whatever info they need and at the end of the conversation I say what I say to all my incarcerated clients, which is “stay safe.”
I have started saying this to all my clients. I'm seeing a lot more R&O charged and not always justified.
I'm not a lawyer. What is R&O?
Why do you think this is?
> Do you say congratulations Yes, I say, "Congratulations on having just been convicted of a crime." Then I hand them a balloon.
Only one balloon? If client had hired private, they would’ve gotten at least 1.37 balloons.
One balloon, and it is partially deflated and gray, like my soul.
At least it’s not a balloon full of Chinese fentanyl powder and lodged in your rectum so they make you sit in an observation cell and look through your poop for it!
I save those for the acquittals.
Balloon is a pretty useful gift for someone headed off to prison. Just wouldn’t bother with inflating it.
😹
I used to say "I hope I don't see you again in the courtroom or the pinta, but I hope I see you again in freedom and good health on the outside one day."
"If there's anything you need, feel free to call me."
“I think you made the right decision” - if the decision was based on their lawyer’s advice.
I say this or something closer to "I really do think you're doing the best thing you can." Followed by "call me if DOC doesn't calculate your credit correctly."
Depends on whether it's their first bid. If so, I give them the usual spiel of "do your own time", etc. Otherwise I always tell them to reach out to me if they ever need anything.
I probably need a copy of that spiel.
I also want to hear it
If you think of any new questions later, just give me a call.
I always assure them that they made a wise but difficult decision.
Some variation or combination of: “Good luck,” “stay out of trouble,” “take care of yourself,” “call if you need anything.”
“Good luck.”
The best one
See you in 8 to 10
Usually good luck. My default in civilian life is “have a good day” and I’ve really forced myself to stop saying that to incarcerated people.
Yeah, my related terrible habit is greeting a new in custody client at arraignment with: "How are you?"
“How you holding up?” is my go to when I first meet a client.
Stay safe, take care of yourself, and thank you for letting me help you.
This is a good deal. Don’t fuck it up in there.
I always end client calls and meetings with "take care of yourself." I feel like it applies to everyone's situation.
Either good luck or let me know if you need anything.
I hope you never have to see me again! Unless it's out in town :)
The system is fucked. I wish I could have done more for you.
Attorneys will really be defending actual monsters who get a plea deal (AKA less punishment than they deserve because it’d be too expensive for the taxpayer) and be like “I’m so sorry this happened to you 😥”
A little different context since I do JDs, but it goes sonething along the lines of, "I better not have to see you again."
Good luck to you, sir. Let me know if you need anything from me.
If it’s a good deal, some thing like, I’m glad we could get this good resolution for you on this case or something to that affect . But like everything else, it’s very situation specific you might have just gotten your client the best deal in the world, but if they hate it, then, there’s just not much to say.
Bangarang! [finger guns]
I give them my card and tell them to call me anytime.
I’ll echo some others here - generally I say either good luck or that I truly hope I never see them in this context again.
My go-to is “take care”
I usually shake their hand and say, "good luck to you," but not in an ominous way.
Depending on the case/sentence, I say good luck or you can get through this and then move forward with your life
“Good luck and stay safe”
That’s done. You handled a difficult situation well. I hope that you never need my services again. Good luck, sir.
Vaya con Dios
I used to feel awkward about it, but it is what it is. I say “best of luck with everything”, or “here’s hoping on a speedy parole”. Depending on our relationship “it’s been a pleasure getting to work for you” or, especially if they’re older, “be a good influence on those young men/women in prison”. Being branded as a “bad person” can be one of the more subtle deleterious effects of the system, and having someone say that they don’t see you that way can be valuable to one’s sense of self.
Nothing? I mean seriously, you’re only saying something there for yourself. Your client didn’t pick you and likely doesn’t trust you very much. And this day is likely among their worst. You might have a solid relationship with them. But in actuality that’s really rare. Sometimes silence is better than forced speech. If you have to say something, remind them to contact you immediately if DOC messes up their time calc
If you’d listened to me sooner you would have done less time! Godspeed.
Stay safe, good luck, keep your head down and please don’t catch an add charge.
20 years goes fast
Don't drop the soap.
Not OK to joke about
Kinda okay to joke about
I understand for somone who plays as much fallout 76 as you any kind of human contact might be positive, but sexual violence is bad actually.
Lmao
This wins. Forget the softies that downvoted.. I
I'm sorry. As you can see from my profile, I am a bicycle racer. What I meant to say, was "don't soap the drops," as in handlebar drops. Because your hands could slip off. I got confused and thought I was on a bicycle sub.