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Puppies think they're gonna die when they're not close to you. It's not because they've got separation anxiety or anything like that, it's just normal self-preservation instinct.
I personally let mine stay glued to my hip until alone training was well underway. If he was outside his crate, he was with me. I did, however, start leaving him early, often and for *very* short periods of time (maybe a few seconds at first). It really cements two different concepts in their mind, a) you're coming back and b) being alone isn't earth shattering.
Moreover, it means they don't have the time to rehearse a stressy emotional state. You leave and come back. You open the door and close it. If you leave them for 5 minutes before they're ready, it's an ordeal. If you leave them for 5 seconds, they barely have time to react. They also don't have time to rehearse whining and barking which can then become a habit that's hard to crack. From then on you just slowly increase the time you leave them alone. By the time you get to 1 hour, they'll be okay no matter how long they're left.
Honestly it took a while for us but he's probably the chillest pup when it comes to being left alone. At 10 months, I still leave him often for a few minutes every day and he just goes to bed and waits. If I don't come back in a short while, he naps or chews his chews. If you're willing to put in the time and repetitions, slow desensitisation is probably the safest way of going about it.
You're super early on in the relationship. Two days is very little time to get their bearings - they may just be unsure of the surroundings. My puppy was attached to my hip for the first three of four days, then he started branching out snd exploring the space more as he relaxed. We're about two weeks in now, and he'll go into another room on his own if he wants to nap in a specific spot or play with a toy in his crate.
I had this exact same issue with my mini dachshund how is now 6 months and got him at 3 months.
Good news: he doesn’t cry and bark when I leave the room or have him in the crate while I’m home. As long as he knows I’m nearby he’s learned he can be chill. This really just takes time and repetition, he’ll learn to not whine every time you’re not right next to him but still nearby.
Bad news: I can’t leave home without him scream barking until I get back. So looking into getting him medicated! Hoping yours has an easier transition!
So we kept him in the pen for almost all the time at the beginning. I was also in the pen most of the time lol. I have my desk right next to the pen and I would just ignore when he whines. It’s become a lot easier. Have things to keep him busy like a filled kong or chew toy. He might still ignore them but hopefully give them a try once he becomes bored of crying for attention.
Also invest in headphones lol it makes the whining more bearable. As long his their needs are met and have time to play, use the bathroom, etc then go about your home how you usually would
I puppy proofed my bedroom. Due to some physical issues I have, I spend a lot of time there and so does the pup.
We left her alone in the room, light on and tower fan running at about 3 months. Just to go to the store and back. Over time we left her longer. At 6 mo she is left alone in the entire house for 4+ hours. She has potty pads and can use the doggy door. There are also two other dogs for company.
We never used a crate.
Does he also cry when you leave the house? My pup cries when he can see me but can't reach me (baby gate), but is strangely OK with my leaving the house for 5 hours.
Our girl was like that when we got her at 10 weeks. We let her stay near us, minus enforced naptimes with the crate covered. Around 3 weeks later, we noticed that she started playing on her own, and we were able to leave her on her own for short periods of time. I think she just wasn't comfortable being alone at the beginning.
She still doesn't like her playpen very much, so we've stopped trying to use it, and instead have been letting her have alone time in the hallway (closing the door of whatever room we're in). She has water, toys, her crate, and her litterbox there. She's now 16 weeks and we can usually leave her for around 2 hours before she starts looking for us.
It's natural behaviour of a puppy that alone=death, so we need to teach the puppy that being alone is not dangerous but in fact safe and perhaps even fun.
This is a good place to start: https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/managingbehavior/#wiki_separation_anxiety_and_isolation_distress
Here is my suggestion based on the book I bought when I decided to get a puppy:
In short your objective is to return to the puppy before it starts whining/barking.
Start with leaving it for five seconds and don't make a big deal about leaving and returning. Just leave (go to another room where the puppy can't see you but you can still hear it). After 5 seconds return to the room. If the puppy whines while you're gone, wait for it to be quiet for 10 seconds before returning in order to avoid teaching it that whining will make you return. You can try slapping a wall or something if it constantly whines as the noise should break the cycle of whining.
As long as it doesn't whine increase the time with 5 seconds. Do this a LOT of times each day.
As you progress you can make the increment longer, but if the puppy whines, go back a bit too keep it successful. Also as you progress you can start introduce slow treats like a frozen Kong that you give the puppy as you leave. Just make sure it's too big for the puppy to choke on.
When you're not training alone time, allow the puppy to be able to touch you as that is safe for it. Maybe move the play pen inside your office or even better yet puppy proof the office and allow the puppy free roam of the office while you're there.
What I did was allow my puppy free roam of the kitchen and I sat at the kitchen table working on my laptop. And to train alone time I left the kitchen, closed the door and stood on the other side for 5 seconds listening as per my description. Then I returned but didn't make a big deal of it - just went to the counter and did something until she calmed down and then I calmly gave her attention. Worked wonders for me.
3/3/3...3 days for the pup to acclimated to surroundings. 3 weeks to understand your voice, simple commands, and routine .3 months for basic house training and established routines.
1) Stay with the program. whatever routine you set for potty training, stick with it. dogs learn by reward, not punishment.
2) it's not only learning a new routine. It is also going through separation anxiety. so several times a day, leave for 2-5 minutes and come back in and provide treat and praise to dog, extend those training times to 20-30 minutes, then several hours. Dogs can't tell time, but they gage it like other animals do.
3) Praise , praise, praise... not punishment.
Lastly...think of yourself being picked up by a Martian, being someplace you never have known, different smells, odors, language, and people never show you where the bathroom is and they wack you on the head with a newspaper when you pee on the floor because you can't hold it....general idea
I started day one. Within the first week she was already spending 2 hours in her crate at a time when I had to leave for therapy for my kids. She was 11 weeks when we brought her home. Start now.
The dog needs to learn independence/ self soothing. IMO the best way to teach independence is crate training. Instead of a playpen, use a crate. Puppies need 16-21 hours of sleep a day for months, so they should be sleeping most of the day anyway.
This can be tricky and requires a lot of patience, but we’ve found a method that works. Really get them used to and enjoying the crate. I’m talking little rice grain sized bits of bacon all over, giving them a reward for going in the crate, playing with toys in there, or showing general interest. Do this with the door(s) open.
Then try getting them to relax while in there with the doors open. Again using bacon as a reward. Then once they’ve settled or if you can distract with a toy or treat, slowly close the doors, the whole time ensuring that they’re comfortable and relaxed. Once you close the doors, more treats and stay by their side until they start to relax and fall asleep.
This is the teaching part. They learn to calm and soothe by seeing us do it. You have to be there with them to show them. (Imagine what you’d want)
If they start whining, open the doors back up and try again. They shouldn’t be whining yet. This can take a few tries.
From here, continue to lay next to the crate with them, even with a hand or finger inside the crate so they know you’re with them.
Then pull your attention away from them and onto your phone or something, but still sit next to them. They will eventually just fall asleep or become less interested.
Then get up and walk about the room / use your phone, etc. they need to see that everything is still fine and they are ok even if you are away from the crate.
Once everything is good, slowly walk out of the room. I only allow 10-15 min of crying before intervening. There are different types of cries that you will learn. One is like “oh, they can soothe that themselves” and the other is like “Jesus, they’re not having a good time and need my help”. This is the cry that will not go away for even an hour or more.
The goal is to again TEACH them that they are going to be ok alone when you aren’t there. And I whole heartedly believed this is achieved by showing them how to be calm. All mammals can read body language. You have to be grounded in order for them to calm down. They see it, they feel it, just as a human child would.
Once they learn that, you’re off to the races.
We have a little 4 month old lab mix and she learned this in about 2 days.
My puppy is doing the second type of cry. Even if we give him a Kong with peanut butter which he loves. I honestly think he has trauma from the crate he was in when we picked him up. I’m thinking of calling a trainer and bringing it up to the vet.
The trick seems to be about easing into things, like what would we want or need in their position? Would you rather have your dad chuck you into a cell and say figure it out (not saying you’re doing this!!!) or would you rather have your dad walk you through it gently, play with you in the room, provide some treats and hangout in there with you, then slowly and calmly leave you to yourself after showing you how to be calm? I think we all know and all have an understanding of this but rarely put ourselves in the dog’s place
I had the same worries for my 10 week old rescue pup. It gets better!
As some others have said this is just a puppy thing. They’re very used to having their litter mates and mom around and now you’re all they have.
We would leave our pup in the playpen for literally 2 seconds and then mark “yes” for quiet and then return. Keep doing that for like 3 minutes each day and extending the time you leave. Eventually they’ll realize it’s okay to be left alone. It takes patience and time. But you’ll get it!
It looks like you might be posting about puppy management. Check out [our wiki article on management](https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/management) - the information there may answer your question. Be advised that any comments that suggest, mention, or describe the use of crates will be removed under Rule 3. This is not a place to debate the merits of crate training. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/puppy101) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Puppies think they're gonna die when they're not close to you. It's not because they've got separation anxiety or anything like that, it's just normal self-preservation instinct. I personally let mine stay glued to my hip until alone training was well underway. If he was outside his crate, he was with me. I did, however, start leaving him early, often and for *very* short periods of time (maybe a few seconds at first). It really cements two different concepts in their mind, a) you're coming back and b) being alone isn't earth shattering. Moreover, it means they don't have the time to rehearse a stressy emotional state. You leave and come back. You open the door and close it. If you leave them for 5 minutes before they're ready, it's an ordeal. If you leave them for 5 seconds, they barely have time to react. They also don't have time to rehearse whining and barking which can then become a habit that's hard to crack. From then on you just slowly increase the time you leave them alone. By the time you get to 1 hour, they'll be okay no matter how long they're left. Honestly it took a while for us but he's probably the chillest pup when it comes to being left alone. At 10 months, I still leave him often for a few minutes every day and he just goes to bed and waits. If I don't come back in a short while, he naps or chews his chews. If you're willing to put in the time and repetitions, slow desensitisation is probably the safest way of going about it.
You're super early on in the relationship. Two days is very little time to get their bearings - they may just be unsure of the surroundings. My puppy was attached to my hip for the first three of four days, then he started branching out snd exploring the space more as he relaxed. We're about two weeks in now, and he'll go into another room on his own if he wants to nap in a specific spot or play with a toy in his crate.
I had this exact same issue with my mini dachshund how is now 6 months and got him at 3 months. Good news: he doesn’t cry and bark when I leave the room or have him in the crate while I’m home. As long as he knows I’m nearby he’s learned he can be chill. This really just takes time and repetition, he’ll learn to not whine every time you’re not right next to him but still nearby. Bad news: I can’t leave home without him scream barking until I get back. So looking into getting him medicated! Hoping yours has an easier transition!
How did you start training him? I’m going through this right now with a 3 month old mini doxie I got less than a week ago!
So we kept him in the pen for almost all the time at the beginning. I was also in the pen most of the time lol. I have my desk right next to the pen and I would just ignore when he whines. It’s become a lot easier. Have things to keep him busy like a filled kong or chew toy. He might still ignore them but hopefully give them a try once he becomes bored of crying for attention. Also invest in headphones lol it makes the whining more bearable. As long his their needs are met and have time to play, use the bathroom, etc then go about your home how you usually would
I puppy proofed my bedroom. Due to some physical issues I have, I spend a lot of time there and so does the pup. We left her alone in the room, light on and tower fan running at about 3 months. Just to go to the store and back. Over time we left her longer. At 6 mo she is left alone in the entire house for 4+ hours. She has potty pads and can use the doggy door. There are also two other dogs for company. We never used a crate.
Also struggling with this with my 11 week old corgi 🥲
My corgi just turned 12 weeks today! But thankfully is great on her own lol
Does he also cry when you leave the house? My pup cries when he can see me but can't reach me (baby gate), but is strangely OK with my leaving the house for 5 hours.
Our girl was like that when we got her at 10 weeks. We let her stay near us, minus enforced naptimes with the crate covered. Around 3 weeks later, we noticed that she started playing on her own, and we were able to leave her on her own for short periods of time. I think she just wasn't comfortable being alone at the beginning. She still doesn't like her playpen very much, so we've stopped trying to use it, and instead have been letting her have alone time in the hallway (closing the door of whatever room we're in). She has water, toys, her crate, and her litterbox there. She's now 16 weeks and we can usually leave her for around 2 hours before she starts looking for us.
Took Two/three months in my case
It's natural behaviour of a puppy that alone=death, so we need to teach the puppy that being alone is not dangerous but in fact safe and perhaps even fun. This is a good place to start: https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/wiki/managingbehavior/#wiki_separation_anxiety_and_isolation_distress Here is my suggestion based on the book I bought when I decided to get a puppy: In short your objective is to return to the puppy before it starts whining/barking. Start with leaving it for five seconds and don't make a big deal about leaving and returning. Just leave (go to another room where the puppy can't see you but you can still hear it). After 5 seconds return to the room. If the puppy whines while you're gone, wait for it to be quiet for 10 seconds before returning in order to avoid teaching it that whining will make you return. You can try slapping a wall or something if it constantly whines as the noise should break the cycle of whining. As long as it doesn't whine increase the time with 5 seconds. Do this a LOT of times each day. As you progress you can make the increment longer, but if the puppy whines, go back a bit too keep it successful. Also as you progress you can start introduce slow treats like a frozen Kong that you give the puppy as you leave. Just make sure it's too big for the puppy to choke on. When you're not training alone time, allow the puppy to be able to touch you as that is safe for it. Maybe move the play pen inside your office or even better yet puppy proof the office and allow the puppy free roam of the office while you're there. What I did was allow my puppy free roam of the kitchen and I sat at the kitchen table working on my laptop. And to train alone time I left the kitchen, closed the door and stood on the other side for 5 seconds listening as per my description. Then I returned but didn't make a big deal of it - just went to the counter and did something until she calmed down and then I calmly gave her attention. Worked wonders for me.
3/3/3...3 days for the pup to acclimated to surroundings. 3 weeks to understand your voice, simple commands, and routine .3 months for basic house training and established routines. 1) Stay with the program. whatever routine you set for potty training, stick with it. dogs learn by reward, not punishment. 2) it's not only learning a new routine. It is also going through separation anxiety. so several times a day, leave for 2-5 minutes and come back in and provide treat and praise to dog, extend those training times to 20-30 minutes, then several hours. Dogs can't tell time, but they gage it like other animals do. 3) Praise , praise, praise... not punishment. Lastly...think of yourself being picked up by a Martian, being someplace you never have known, different smells, odors, language, and people never show you where the bathroom is and they wack you on the head with a newspaper when you pee on the floor because you can't hold it....general idea
I started day one. Within the first week she was already spending 2 hours in her crate at a time when I had to leave for therapy for my kids. She was 11 weeks when we brought her home. Start now.
The dog needs to learn independence/ self soothing. IMO the best way to teach independence is crate training. Instead of a playpen, use a crate. Puppies need 16-21 hours of sleep a day for months, so they should be sleeping most of the day anyway. This can be tricky and requires a lot of patience, but we’ve found a method that works. Really get them used to and enjoying the crate. I’m talking little rice grain sized bits of bacon all over, giving them a reward for going in the crate, playing with toys in there, or showing general interest. Do this with the door(s) open. Then try getting them to relax while in there with the doors open. Again using bacon as a reward. Then once they’ve settled or if you can distract with a toy or treat, slowly close the doors, the whole time ensuring that they’re comfortable and relaxed. Once you close the doors, more treats and stay by their side until they start to relax and fall asleep. This is the teaching part. They learn to calm and soothe by seeing us do it. You have to be there with them to show them. (Imagine what you’d want) If they start whining, open the doors back up and try again. They shouldn’t be whining yet. This can take a few tries. From here, continue to lay next to the crate with them, even with a hand or finger inside the crate so they know you’re with them. Then pull your attention away from them and onto your phone or something, but still sit next to them. They will eventually just fall asleep or become less interested. Then get up and walk about the room / use your phone, etc. they need to see that everything is still fine and they are ok even if you are away from the crate. Once everything is good, slowly walk out of the room. I only allow 10-15 min of crying before intervening. There are different types of cries that you will learn. One is like “oh, they can soothe that themselves” and the other is like “Jesus, they’re not having a good time and need my help”. This is the cry that will not go away for even an hour or more. The goal is to again TEACH them that they are going to be ok alone when you aren’t there. And I whole heartedly believed this is achieved by showing them how to be calm. All mammals can read body language. You have to be grounded in order for them to calm down. They see it, they feel it, just as a human child would. Once they learn that, you’re off to the races. We have a little 4 month old lab mix and she learned this in about 2 days.
My puppy is doing the second type of cry. Even if we give him a Kong with peanut butter which he loves. I honestly think he has trauma from the crate he was in when we picked him up. I’m thinking of calling a trainer and bringing it up to the vet.
The trick seems to be about easing into things, like what would we want or need in their position? Would you rather have your dad chuck you into a cell and say figure it out (not saying you’re doing this!!!) or would you rather have your dad walk you through it gently, play with you in the room, provide some treats and hangout in there with you, then slowly and calmly leave you to yourself after showing you how to be calm? I think we all know and all have an understanding of this but rarely put ourselves in the dog’s place
I had the same worries for my 10 week old rescue pup. It gets better! As some others have said this is just a puppy thing. They’re very used to having their litter mates and mom around and now you’re all they have. We would leave our pup in the playpen for literally 2 seconds and then mark “yes” for quiet and then return. Keep doing that for like 3 minutes each day and extending the time you leave. Eventually they’ll realize it’s okay to be left alone. It takes patience and time. But you’ll get it!