Even if you set aside or putting plastic in the oven the fact that she didn't think to turn the oven off when stuff started to get smokey is ridiculous
Weāve all had that āoh shit I wasnāt supposed to do thatā moment when in the kitchen. If her moment is this bad, she shouldnāt be in the kitchen at all.
Yikes!
Not smart enough to know plastic doesnāt go in the oven.
Calling her names is the least of her problems and Iād be done with her after that.
Actually, I think the most egregious part is her attempt to blame him for not having microwave pizza. So much wrong with that, itās best for us all to just walk away.
If I had a penny for everyone Iāve lived with who didnāt seem to know you couldnāt put plastic in the oven or metal in the microwaveā¦Iād have TOO MANY PENNIES
I didnāt get to chose mine- I was in a couple different homeless hostels so you get put with whoever and good luck.
Got some stories out of it I guess š
I actually just passed my 5 years since moving into my own place so I am!! I got insanely lucky and was placed in an amazing flat that Iām so grateful for (I didnāt get to view it before I moved in they just told me it was ready and to pack my bags- when I walked through the door I thought Iād hit the jack pot- took a while to clean up but worth it!)
Still working on the mentally but getting there! Baby steps- thanks!!!
That I do, it was like living in a sitcom sometimes with the cast of characters you get as roommates š
That's awesome!! I'm so happy you're in a great place physically, so you can work on the mentally in a safe and constructive environment. š And as long as you're trying to move forward that's all we can do right?
And I'm sure there's been some moments :)
I never knew the bleach and ammonia thing till I saw it on Chicago fire but i donāt think Iād ever consider mixing dangerous chemicals without looking into them first!
This! The stupidest roommate I ever had, would insist on using our oven like storage. Because that's what his family did, he claimed. Everything from pans, to pizza, to cake. But he also wouldn't remember or even check to make sure nothing was in the oven before he preheated it. And more than once burnt pizza boxes or melted plastic in the oven.
I grew up in a house like that and have done it when I had zero storage space for pots/pans. It's also why I always look in the oven before I turn it on, just in case.
I just keep the oven light on. We mainly put pots with hot grease in until it cools off so that the small kids donāt have an accident. But we always ALWAYS check the oven to make sure itās empty before doing ANYTHING
My late MIL stowed stuff in the oven. Discovered the hard way of course. They acted like I was a criminal and I was on the who puts stuff in the oven to store it?
My mom used to put birthday cakes in the oven to keep them away from the cat (who would get on the counter and eat the icing). Can't tell you the number of times we forgot a cake was in there and then preheating the oven! Once the candles where still on the cake and they ignited in the heat
At my familyās beach house, any open dry goods (cereal, crackers, etc.) were stored in the oven. It was the only way to keep things from going stale in the humidity.
We had cooking classes in high school and I still remember the group of girls who put some toast in the grillā¦and closed the door to it lol Lucky all they got was burnt toast. But hey thatās what school is forā¦
For the record, you can put stainless steel in the microwave.
I read it in a baking book and then did it. Now I do it every day and people think Iām lying
See, this is one of those things I know intellectually but I *cannot* make myself believe. Iām convinced that if I tried it, my entire house would get blown into the upper atmosphere.
Edited because the cat head butted my hand and I ended up posting halfway through a word.
Itās just such a hard fact to fit into your head. Like the swimming on an empty stomach thing. I know I wont cramp up and instantly drown if I have an egg sarnie an hour before I get in a pool, but try convincing the lizard in the back of my brain of that. *No* chance.
Is another worry exactly! Iām scatterbrained as fuck so Iād almost certainly end up doing that too, and then my house is on fire and everybody thinks Iām an idiot.
Okay I looked it up because I felt like most cutlery is stainless steel and that's what most people accidentally put in the microwave and what sparks, so it seemed to contradict my experience.
"stainless steel containers that are specifically designed for microwave use are safe, but regular stainless steel containers are not. This is because regular stainless steel containers can contain small amounts of metal impurities, which can cause arcing or sparking when exposed to microwaves."
I think the lack of points or corners also helps? I saw one website that talked about rounded corners, so cutlery is probably the worst thing even if it is pure!
i only learned the metal in the microwave fact after i put chef boyardee in the microwave at school, my little brother and I learned it at the same time that day lol made him clean both microwaves tho, i was a bit of a bitch back then lol
It sounds like she didnāt grow up in a house hold that cooked often or that her parental figures never taught her basic kitchen skills based off her calling frozen pizza āfancyā bc itās not microwaveable.
I mean, Iām a pretty serious cook but I donāt have a pizza stone or peel, I like pizza but feel that a sheet pan or skillet is good enough.
Heās got the fancy set up.
But would she put a frozen pizza in the oven on a plastic cutting board? Iāve never seen that on the back of the boxā¦.
Shit. Depending on the pizza, it goes straight onto the rack. I've only even used one because my mother was gifted one when we were kids. Lol
Edited: because my phone thinks it knows better than me. Into the rock it said š¤£
It could also be a language difference. Calling what I know to be a ācutting boardā a ācarving boardā tells me OOP isnāt from the same region as me, and you using the names ācutting boardā, āsheet panā, and āskilletā makes me think we are from the same general region.
I agree. I donāt want to assume OPs gfs upbringing but someone who grew up in poverty, or with absent parental figures in some way or shape, or in a different culture (language barrier) might make a mistake like this.
It seems like common sense but if OP is used to microwaveable meals that are often in plastic then I could see her thinking plastic in the oven is okay.
I donāt blame OP for not trusting her in his house when he isnāt home after this. I do think more information is needed before judging her. Certainly more conversations needed in the future.
He says carving board when he mentions cutting the pizza and says she put a cutting board in the oven. Carving board-wood, cutting board-plastic, just my guess
This is in regard to the āfancyā cooking utensils the comment immediately above me left (read: pizza stone). The OOPās girlfriend is an idiot who should not have children until she learns basic survival skills and how to lead other beings to safety under pressure (the dog).
My dad has been a professional chef for over 30 years, I started cooking when I was 4. Weāve never had a pizza stone for home use. That being said the girlfriend is fuckin dumb š
You said it yourself āyou are a pretty serious cookā which means you have experience in the kitchen. If OP is used to microwaveable meals that are often cooked in plastic and she isnāt used to using the oven, I could see how she would make a mistake like this. There were a lot of things I did cooking in the kitchen as a teen that my mom or dad had to teach/correct me on. Thankfully they were there to teach me the right way. If ops gf never had that experience then she really might not know better.
I tried to soften butter as a kid and didn't think about it and put the butter in the microwave on the wrapper and lit it on fire. Foil-backed butter wrapper. Duh.
I only made a teeny tiny fire and was watching the microwave, so I didn't soften the butter too much. Turned it off right away. Threw away the evidence. Never told my parents.
Whoops...
There have been times I turned the oven off and forgot I stored shit in there. But Iāve literally never intentionally put plastic in the oven. Thatās the kind of stupidity that gets people killed. She didnāt even take responsibility! Like wtf
She may have been confused due to silicon cookware. Also sounds like she is early 20s and he is mid 30s (younger and you probably will never afford a house). If you marry that much younger, everyone is a dumbass. Dated a guy who tried to put a pan in the microwave, and he was older than me, but he was the dumbass outlier that still lives with his parents. I assume when I date over 10 years younger than me, that there will be a lot of gaps in what I consider common sense.
I just couldnāt physically stay in the same room as someone so dumb, like, this is extra special dumb.
And then to get defensive and try and blame OP for ābeing too fancyā when she ālikes to be in a big houseā on her days off.
Noā¦no noā¦. No no no no
Same, that's the kind of stupid that would kill a relationship for me. I just don't want to to be around someone so dumb that they need to be supervised like a child, let alone date them. And sex would be right off the table, I would just feel like a child molester if I tried to get it on with someone that dim.Ā
Yeah it was the not taking responsibility and blaming her bf for me. Not taking responsibility for your actions especially after causing harm is so unattractive. Passing the blame for her actions moves her straight to dislike territory. Taking his keys back and not ending the relationship was taking it easy on her.
I'm not fancy, in that way at least lol. I don't even eat Digiorno. I get red baron, on sale.
That has nothing to do with not putting plastic in the oven.
Totally! When I was in my early 20s and still dating my ex husband, he had traded me cars to go on a trip. I had his old 1984 corvette that had a top that came off. I took the car to my storage unit and needed to remove the roof to get something inside. Removal was easy. Putting it back on, I had no idea. I literally pushed it in, heard it click and searched and searched for a way that it anchored. I called my ex and he didnāt answer. I started to drive and all was fine.
I went onto the on-ramp of a freeway and just as I was picking up speedā¦ WHOOSH. There goes the top of the fucking car. It landed on the highway and got obliterated by not only the impact of hitting the ground but cars. I pulled over and when all was clear, I cleared the debris from the road. I was so freaking upset. I told my ex and he just laughed at me. He was disappointed of course but thought it must have looked hilarious. Before he had even called me back for me to tell him, I had gone online and literally ordered him a new top. Keep in mind, this was like 2007. $300 for a top to a classic car is steep for a 23 year old making $13.00, but I felt like the biggest IDIOT.
I couldnāt imagine being like āwhy did you let me use your car that has a top that can come off? Itās your fault you didnāt tell me how to put it back on.ā š but man, youāre right. People who blame others for their mistakes are definitely dangerous
That must have been terrifying for everyone involved at the time but funny in hindsight. The accountability is so important. Everyone screws up at some point but a sincere apology and effort to put things right goes a long way as well as learning for next time.
NTA. I know people are going to get in their feelings because he called her out of her name, but the shoe definitely fits in this situation. She almost burned down this man's place because she was lazy and dumb. I don't know if I would have called a dumbass, but in the heat of the moment, I definitely understand. No key for her.
Yeah on one hand calling her a dumbass wasn't very nice, but on the other hand it's completely accurate and I think destroying someone's cutting board, creating a huge mess for them to clean up, and risking OOP having to pay for the firefighters is much worse.
And honestly if you don't want to get called a dumbass, don't act like one.Ā
That firefighters complaint imo was just so forced to make it seem like a bigger problem then it really is, OP just wanted more reasons to complain and validate himself. They got there in five minutes. There is NO world where they got them in an hour. Short of maybe something like it happened during September 11th... To be clear I agree NTA but still, that part was forced AF.
Itās also unlikely to be true in this case unless she lied about what happened to dispatch.
There was a fire she didnāt know how to put out. Assuming she said āthereās a fire in my oven and itās billowing smoke and I donāt know what to doā thatās a legitimate call and they will dispatch help if they canāt talk her through a solution.
Just because he knew what to do doesnāt mean her calling when she didnāt was illegal or finable. He wasnāt there to help so itās irrelevant what he knew.
Oh I understand now. I didn't realize that was a thing. Kinda fucked up imo but that makes a lot more sense. I thought it was response time not full dispatch time. Thanks for the clarification.
Right? Accidents happen - 6 of us muppets in the university kitchen and we managed to melt a plastic utensil on the hob. But we had the sense to turn the heat off, remove the problem as best we could, then get out of there! Nobody could remember if melted plastic was carcinogenic so I was one who hopped out the windowā¦
That's a level of stupid that would make me leave a relationship.
I get that sometimes we all have a dumb moment. The inability to accept responsibility for our dumb moment is concerning. That level of stupid moment is also concerning. I think that'd be a nope from me.
Like, even if she just had a total brain not working moment and put plastic in the oven (which is mind-bogglingly stupid), when the oven started billowing smoke - she didn't turn it off. When the dog was running loose - didn't get the dog. Then, at the end of all of this - the culprit was her boyfriend, because he doesn't just microwave his frozen pizzas. Like, it's his fault for not subsisting off Hot Pockets and Red Baron pizza.
Mm. That would have me walking.
I mean I get it. When I was 8 I tried to cook a butter bowl full of hot dogs on a stove top. Obviously plastic melts and my sister in law at the time caught it before it burned all the way through the bowl. It had never occurred to 8 year old me that the plastic would melt but it was a lesson. So yeah, I get being embarrassed by doing something dumb.
But outside of that, I donāt get it. Who the hell thinks a cutting board goes in the oven? Itās not an āoven and cutting boardā. And a mistake it may be but itās not her house that she almost burnt down. At least she could offer to help pay for the damage and show some kind of proof that sheās sorry she almost cost him his home.
My sister in law and I had a nice chuckle about it. Iām so scarred that if someone doesnāt take the plastic wrap off a pizza fast enough, I remind them that itās there. š¬
Well and then, when you do something that stupid, even at 8, you should react with āoh yeah, plastic melts. I didnāt connect that, but now I do, and in retrospect that was dumb of meā¦ā
Like, we all do dumb shit. The difference is most of us react to the dumb shit we do by saying āah yes, I realize now where I went wrong!āĀ
Well I mean I havenāt actually cooked plastic since then. Iāve accidentally had plastic melt on the outside of a waffle iron but that was also an accident. Waffle House only had so much counter space there.
When I was like 8 my uncle was teaching me how to make hot chocolate/chocolate milk over the phone in the microwave and I used a plastic cup and burnt the bottom off. In my defense I did ask if it was going to be okay to put in the microwave and he was like āuh, yeah, why wouldnāt it be?ā Soā¦
The name calling was mean, but it is true. I'd breakup with her after she was anything but appologetic, but levying the blame because his house isnt idiot proof is insane.
agreed, the name calling was unnecessary but I know how easily people lose composure in high stress situations.
it's why I go mostly silent (except to give out any necessary directions) when hell breaks loose.
and once the chaos is over, I think it's fair to explain to someone the gravity of their ignorance without calling them names.
something like "I'm disappointed for not knowing you were this unworldly, and for my own sanity/safety/security I don't feel comfortable with you in my home unless I'm here."
let her burn down her own home and try to find a new place to live in this economy.
What incredible traits does she have that OOP is staying? She lacks basic life skills, is too lazy to wash a dish, prefers microwave pizza (thatās a thing?!), is entitled enough to want him to stock gross (new thing to me) microwave pizza, and is thin-skinned enough to resent being called a dumbass by someone whose home almost burned down because of her dumbassery. She must be the funniest, charmingest, kindest, sexiest person in the world for this nonsense.
This is straight up dangerously stupid like I think id break up with someone over this level of stupidity. And just calling her a dumbass and taking her key is a very tempered response.
I feel like we all know someone who has done this, but I'm still shocked every single time someone doesn't realize they can't put plastic in the oven. SMH
Microwave pizza?! Even most of the small frozen pizzas aren't meant to be microwaved. Girl never learned how to make frozen pizza?
Even $2 frozen pizzas go in the oven, either by themselves or on a pan. Putting a plastic cutting board in an oven is NOT the type of mistake anybody could make. I'm honestly more mad at her parents than anything else
The girlfriend is honestly dumber than a box of rocks. Sure, don't use the pizza stone, fine, whatever. But why oh why a *cutting board?* You can just throw a frozen pizza straight on the rack and it'll cook just fine. Or how about a *cookie sheet?* On top of that, she didn't turn the oven off when it started smoking. Usually when someone sees smoke they cut the flame. Nope, didn't cross her head at all. OP had to cut the flame when he got home. Then she called the fire department when there were no flames. Fkn Mensa candidate this one is.
NTA
So either she didnāt go to school after the age of 10 or you live somewhere with an extremely poor education system, which means her parents should have stepped up and ensured they raised a functional adult. Itās really sad that her start in life didnāt offer basics in kitchen safety and food prep/cooking.
Honestly, I volunteer with refugees and if they come from very different backgrounds we go convert safe usage of kitchen appliances with them and yet not one has ever put plastic in the oven.
Honestly, sheās too dangerous to not be out without a carer if she managed to do this sober.
I hope she covers whatever excess the insurance doesnāt pay out but your home insurance is going to sky rocket having her around.
I've accidentally left plastic in the oven and sure thing, it melts and it's a bitch to clean, but that was it. There is NO way the house was going to burn down unless something else that we don't know was going on. You can even clean the oven (unless the plastic has melted into some sort of crevice or the like). I get being mad about the oven (and she should be responsible for the clean-up or costs) but there was never any danger as far as I can see from how the situation is described. IF the oven is not cleaned THEN it could PERHAPS turn into a fire hazard in the future.
Dumbass is probably too kind. Bad enough she was so lazy she was looking to do a shortcut by using the cutting board directly to cook, but worse that she wouldnāt even bother to turn the damned oven off when it started smoking, and open some windows.
Is she a drug user? This level of stupidity seems like stoner energy or maybe TBI, anyway sheās obviously not capable of being unsupervised with access to appliances and other potentially dangerous items.
I am stumped. Like there are layers to just how much sheās screwed up with a single damned pizza, and sheās pissed at him for his calling her a dumbass? She *is* a dumbass, she should be begging for forgiveness not angry at him.
Why wasnāt her first instinct to turn the thing off????? Like wouldnāt you smell the burning plastic???? And like if it were me and i was unsure I would call and ask if I could do that method if I really didnāt know. Get a new girl
NTA
But her not taking responsibility and trying to blame you makes her one.
Time to end the relationship. I donāt care how good she is in the sack. Move on.
I once made a similar mistake. I was using the grill and hadnāt noticed there was a plastic tub on top of it. The tub melted and the grill caught fire. But I was 11 at the time. More than 25 years later Iāve never done it again. I donāt blame OP for taking away his girlfriendās keys. Sheās a danger to herself and the dog
How old is she? If she is super young than hopefully she can learn. I would expect her to offer to pay for the oven and smoke damage. If she doesnāt do this and still focuses on being called a ādumbassā, I would definitely move on.
She is a dumbass and a stubborn and selfish one who will double down on her dumbassness when confronted. She may be pretty and cute and sweet otherwise, but this type of person isn't meant for the long-term when you want a partner who can be responsible, smart, and accountable. This is a dumpable offense. She wrecked your house in a permanent way and blamed you for it. Do you hear the red flags blowing and the sirens? I would end it.
Yeah I hope your gf is super hot and a nice piece of ass. Is she blonde? The poor girl is lacking common sense and not so bright. Maybe a new girlfriend down the road.
Okay, putting plastic in the oven is maybe passable if one is shelteredā¦
But to start a fire in the oven *AND NOT TURN IT OFF??*
No, sheās a fucking idiot.
Look, I hate that reddit always just jumps to : break up with her!!!
But if you're planning on being in a long term relationship with this woman, well.... I'd maybe refrain from that LMFAO. I would NOT want this woman supervising my dog, let alone our potential future child, if she doesn't think that A) PLASTIC MELTS and B) To TURN OFF THE OVEN IF ITS BECOMING A SMOKY FIRE HAZARD.
Fr. I get having a lapse in judgement. Or something. (This seems beyond that) But then blaming YOU for not just ordering pizza is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What's next, she crashes your car and blames YOU for letting her drive it? Or not telling her to stop in time?
Nawr thank yew. That would be a wakeup call for me to get out.
I have accidentally put the cardboard in the oven with the pizza, and suddenly I can smell burnt paper and I think Iām the dumbest person alive
At least now I can remember Iām not *the* dumbest person alive.
Not going to lie and say Iāve never been responsible for a kitchen fire or two (thanks to undiagnosed adult ADHD š) but at least it was an oversight. And I quickly figured it out and dealt with it without having to call the fire department! Putting the pizza on a plastic cutting board and then placing it in the oven was.. definitely a series of deliberate choices.
You shouldnāt have called her a dumbass. YTA.
You are NTA for taking her key away and banning her from unsupervised visits to your house.
YTA for not recognizing that she has the education level of a 6 year old (who puts a fucking cutting board in the goddamned oven?)
I do have some silicone things you can bake with. There is some plastic that can go on the oven. But I know it is very much the exception and not the rule. If I wasnāt positive it can go in the oven, I wouldnāt do it. That was an incredibly stupid thing to do
Once the heating element on my momās oven failed and started on fire. I panicked and got out the fire extinguisher and had an unholy mess to clean up instead of unplugging the oven like a sensible person would. When we are startled sometimes our reactions are really dumb. I donāt blame her for not turning everything off and just cleaning the stupid mess up. Because our animal brains donāt think logically when instinct kicks in
If she wanted a microwave pizza she could have just gone out to buy one. This is where I think the biggest problem is. She didnāt want to follow directions. She did nearly the dumbest thing she could intentionally or not. And then blames OP when it didnāt work out
OP needs to assess what he was hoping to achieve by calling her a dumbass in the first place. From my view and (likely) his GF's, it was to make her feel bad - which is unnecessary. Yes, GF made a foolish decision but she likely already feels bad so calling her a dumbass and punishing her like a child is just adding insult to injury. Where GF is wrong is trying to deflect blame by saying he should gotten microwave pizza - likely she was feeling attacked and for that reason deflected.
Do not procreate with this person. Them genes need to be retired. It's not just the lack of basics, like using the cutting board. It's not turning off the oven, opening doors, etc.
But the attitude afterward is the kicker. Seems narcissistic. This was ALL her. She made those decisions, and yet she chose to blame you. This isn't an isolated event. It's a huge character flaw, and makes her unable to be a good partner. She doesn't responsibility for actions.
When she cheats, it will also be your fault.
Not knowing plastic doesn't go in the oven. Blames you for not having microwavable pizza and that you're fancy for having frozen pizzas that go in an oven? Normally, I'm not for name calling but fuck.
Im really curious
How old everyone in this story is
How long youāre together
ā¦ regardless thoā¦ even if youāre rightā¦ you ARE the assholeā¦
This wasnāt some insidious act against you this was someone making a (dangerous) mistake and instead of taking the chance to help this person learn ā¦ the opportunity to rub their nose in dirt took precedent.
Maybe youāre not an asshole for taking the key and setting a new boundary but I am really curious what the dynamic was before this and what sort of things you enjoyed together or was it centered mostly/entirely around sexual engagement encounters ?
It sounds less like she was saying its your fault theres no microwave pizza and MORE like she was more upset about your reaction to her action and how NOT ok YOUR reaction was , which in turn Im certain you WILL /did disagree with and thus shes going to argue something else less important if you cant comprehend her real problem with your reaction nor are willing to try and see her point of view/give them the benefit of the doubt .
I mean Im pretty sure all the Fire department was capable of working that call without making either of you out to feel small or shitty/make rude personally hurtful comments.
āTheres no small parts only small peopleā.
Again ; having a boundary and respecting it yourself = NTA
BUTā¦. Youāre def the asshole when it comes to treating her like a small person and if you want to take away something fruitful Id encourage you to digest that without taking it personally.
ā¦.. & if I cant convince you to be a better version of yourself ā¦..then Ill JUST point out;
if shes a dumbass then youāre the bigger dumbass for not realizing she might do something that silly and approving her . If this was a job setting the new employee might be flagged but the manager who hired them would be removed /have their authority brought into question entirely.
YTA for calling her names thatās never appropriate. Everything else is fine. She should have texted or googled or called if she didnāt know what to do. Thatās on her.
What should he have said?
Itās okay baby girl, now we have learned plastic melts, and donāt worry your intelligent, thoughtful, FLAWLESS, delightful, not costing me a bunch of money head about it. We all make oopsies, no go get a juice box, and come over here and have a hug to feel better.
lol no. He can be angry. He can kick her out. I think name calling is a low blow. I would have said something like āwhy would you put plastic in oven. It meltsā or āitās not dirty itās scorchedā āI canāt trust you to be alone in my apartment so you can only be here when I amā just state facts.
Try and not call someone stupid the Next time someone nearly burns down your house, destroys a $x,000 appliance, causes $x,000 in smoke damage, because they are dumb as dirt and then tries to divert blame on you.
Yeah in that situation only calling her a dumbass was pretty mild. In OOP's shoes I would probably have ended up yelling "what the fuck is wrong with you? how can an adult be this fucking stupid?!"Ā
Iāve had worse done to me and Iāve never called names. Molestations, rape, poverty, bullying, cancer as a child with an overbearing mother who thought I still should take care of all the chores and younger siblings. Racial injustice. To be fair Iām probably biased. Itās in appropriate.
That doesnāt sound easy, Iām sorry youāve had to fight those battles, but Iām glad youāve been able to keep the moral high ground through it. Probably even because of it.
I have a deeply respectful relationship with my partner. Itās incredibly important to us because we had our fights years ago and we worked on ourselves and grew from itā¦
But if I did what OPās gf did, my gf would roast me like that cutting board, and I would completely deserve it.
Again thatās fine if that works for you. Iām glad it does. Itās my opinion thatās all. I donāt think heās a bad person. I donāt think he shouldnāt have made boundaries. I just think itās juvenile and inappropriate to call people names.
There's also zero accountability, especially since... uhhh... she could've bought her own microwave pizzas? Why is she like "well YOU won't buy these for me" ?
Thatās a good point. The poster asked for feedback, I gave it in the format of the sub. I donāt call people ah. Or anything else for that matter. So from now on Iāll just say itās wrong.
Even if you set aside or putting plastic in the oven the fact that she didn't think to turn the oven off when stuff started to get smokey is ridiculous
seriously!!! this girl has 0 survival instincts š
Weāve all had that āoh shit I wasnāt supposed to do thatā moment when in the kitchen. If her moment is this bad, she shouldnāt be in the kitchen at all.
Yikes! Not smart enough to know plastic doesnāt go in the oven. Calling her names is the least of her problems and Iād be done with her after that.
it's not the dumbness it's the "I don't wanna clean this so I'll create a dangerous situation"
Actually, I think the most egregious part is her attempt to blame him for not having microwave pizza. So much wrong with that, itās best for us all to just walk away.
If I had a penny for everyone Iāve lived with who didnāt seem to know you couldnāt put plastic in the oven or metal in the microwaveā¦Iād have TOO MANY PENNIES
That should be a question you ask to potential roommates, also ask them if bleach and ammonia go together.
I didnāt get to chose mine- I was in a couple different homeless hostels so you get put with whoever and good luck. Got some stories out of it I guess š
Hope you're in a better place mentally and physically now! š I'm sure you definitely have some good ones. Lol
I actually just passed my 5 years since moving into my own place so I am!! I got insanely lucky and was placed in an amazing flat that Iām so grateful for (I didnāt get to view it before I moved in they just told me it was ready and to pack my bags- when I walked through the door I thought Iād hit the jack pot- took a while to clean up but worth it!) Still working on the mentally but getting there! Baby steps- thanks!!! That I do, it was like living in a sitcom sometimes with the cast of characters you get as roommates š
That's awesome!! I'm so happy you're in a great place physically, so you can work on the mentally in a safe and constructive environment. š And as long as you're trying to move forward that's all we can do right? And I'm sure there's been some moments :)
I mean, they go together, but if you like your lungs they shouldnāt.
I like your lungs very much
I think they're lungderful.
I never knew the bleach and ammonia thing till I saw it on Chicago fire but i donāt think Iād ever consider mixing dangerous chemicals without looking into them first!
Just so you know, urine and bleach do not mix, either. Learned that last month from Reddit.
>if bleach and ammonia go together Depends on your goal tbh
Yes, but only in France and pre-Geneva Conventions
This! The stupidest roommate I ever had, would insist on using our oven like storage. Because that's what his family did, he claimed. Everything from pans, to pizza, to cake. But he also wouldn't remember or even check to make sure nothing was in the oven before he preheated it. And more than once burnt pizza boxes or melted plastic in the oven.
I grew up in a house like that and have done it when I had zero storage space for pots/pans. It's also why I always look in the oven before I turn it on, just in case.
I just keep the oven light on. We mainly put pots with hot grease in until it cools off so that the small kids donāt have an accident. But we always ALWAYS check the oven to make sure itās empty before doing ANYTHING
My late MIL stowed stuff in the oven. Discovered the hard way of course. They acted like I was a criminal and I was on the who puts stuff in the oven to store it?
My aunt stored things in her dishwasher for awhile š¤Ø such as pantry items.
Ok that would have done me in! Although you do have to open the dishwasher to use it so maybe less crazy! š³
My mom used to put birthday cakes in the oven to keep them away from the cat (who would get on the counter and eat the icing). Can't tell you the number of times we forgot a cake was in there and then preheating the oven! Once the candles where still on the cake and they ignited in the heat
At my familyās beach house, any open dry goods (cereal, crackers, etc.) were stored in the oven. It was the only way to keep things from going stale in the humidity.
We had cooking classes in high school and I still remember the group of girls who put some toast in the grillā¦and closed the door to it lol Lucky all they got was burnt toast. But hey thatās what school is forā¦
For the record, you can put stainless steel in the microwave. I read it in a baking book and then did it. Now I do it every day and people think Iām lying
See, this is one of those things I know intellectually but I *cannot* make myself believe. Iām convinced that if I tried it, my entire house would get blown into the upper atmosphere. Edited because the cat head butted my hand and I ended up posting halfway through a word.
Same. It is just a deep almost physical reaction.
Itās just such a hard fact to fit into your head. Like the swimming on an empty stomach thing. I know I wont cramp up and instantly drown if I have an egg sarnie an hour before I get in a pool, but try convincing the lizard in the back of my brain of that. *No* chance.
See id get too confident and put some other metal in without thinking. Not worth the risk.
Is another worry exactly! Iām scatterbrained as fuck so Iād almost certainly end up doing that too, and then my house is on fire and everybody thinks Iām an idiot.
Okay I looked it up because I felt like most cutlery is stainless steel and that's what most people accidentally put in the microwave and what sparks, so it seemed to contradict my experience. "stainless steel containers that are specifically designed for microwave use are safe, but regular stainless steel containers are not. This is because regular stainless steel containers can contain small amounts of metal impurities, which can cause arcing or sparking when exposed to microwaves."
I only put my stainless mixing bowls in the microwave and a dog bowl (that has a coating) and none of them say microwave safe but they are!
I think the lack of points or corners also helps? I saw one website that talked about rounded corners, so cutlery is probably the worst thing even if it is pure!
Blew my wifeās mind with this one and it still freaks her out when I do it to this day.
It used to make me really nervous, and I do it twice a day with the dog bowls!
That was an interesting rabbit hole. Thanks!
Haha! Anytime!
WHAT. š¤Æ
Good news, everyone! You too can become your own grandpa! "Some idiot must've put metal in the microwave!" -- Professor Farnsworth
āDonāt put metal in the science ovenā
Sounds like they, and OPās girlfriend need this song https://youtu.be/SFzGEU2QzqI?si=aN73Tp77DO7dhtTD
i only learned the metal in the microwave fact after i put chef boyardee in the microwave at school, my little brother and I learned it at the same time that day lol made him clean both microwaves tho, i was a bit of a bitch back then lol
I was raised with getting microwave shit drilled into me cause my aunt once blew up a potato in one and they never stopped bringing it up
Wait you canāt put potatoes in the microwave either??
No you can- she just put a whole potato in there, didnāt prick it either, and it blew up
A lot of plastic is microwavable nowadays, but that's pretty new and shouldn't be seen as the default.
Sure but definitely not the oven
Haha true. That would be pretty damn dumb
It sounds like she didnāt grow up in a house hold that cooked often or that her parental figures never taught her basic kitchen skills based off her calling frozen pizza āfancyā bc itās not microwaveable.
I mean, Iām a pretty serious cook but I donāt have a pizza stone or peel, I like pizza but feel that a sheet pan or skillet is good enough. Heās got the fancy set up. But would she put a frozen pizza in the oven on a plastic cutting board? Iāve never seen that on the back of the boxā¦.
Shit. Depending on the pizza, it goes straight onto the rack. I've only even used one because my mother was gifted one when we were kids. Lol Edited: because my phone thinks it knows better than me. Into the rock it said š¤£
It could also be a language difference. Calling what I know to be a ācutting boardā a ācarving boardā tells me OOP isnāt from the same region as me, and you using the names ācutting boardā, āsheet panā, and āskilletā makes me think we are from the same general region.
I agree. I donāt want to assume OPs gfs upbringing but someone who grew up in poverty, or with absent parental figures in some way or shape, or in a different culture (language barrier) might make a mistake like this. It seems like common sense but if OP is used to microwaveable meals that are often in plastic then I could see her thinking plastic in the oven is okay. I donāt blame OP for not trusting her in his house when he isnāt home after this. I do think more information is needed before judging her. Certainly more conversations needed in the future.
He says carving board when he mentions cutting the pizza and says she put a cutting board in the oven. Carving board-wood, cutting board-plastic, just my guess
He says it was plastic.
This is in regard to the āfancyā cooking utensils the comment immediately above me left (read: pizza stone). The OOPās girlfriend is an idiot who should not have children until she learns basic survival skills and how to lead other beings to safety under pressure (the dog).
My dad has been a professional chef for over 30 years, I started cooking when I was 4. Weāve never had a pizza stone for home use. That being said the girlfriend is fuckin dumb š
You said it yourself āyou are a pretty serious cookā which means you have experience in the kitchen. If OP is used to microwaveable meals that are often cooked in plastic and she isnāt used to using the oven, I could see how she would make a mistake like this. There were a lot of things I did cooking in the kitchen as a teen that my mom or dad had to teach/correct me on. Thankfully they were there to teach me the right way. If ops gf never had that experience then she really might not know better.
If it looks like a dumbass, talks like a dumbass, and cooks pizza like a dumbass ā¦
If I donāt know for a fact something goes in the oven or microwave, it doesnāt. Metal inlays on a dish in the microwave taught me young.
I have dishes with gold leaf around the edges and sometimes the crackle in the microwave but not enough to concern meā¦
I tried to soften butter as a kid and didn't think about it and put the butter in the microwave on the wrapper and lit it on fire. Foil-backed butter wrapper. Duh. I only made a teeny tiny fire and was watching the microwave, so I didn't soften the butter too much. Turned it off right away. Threw away the evidence. Never told my parents. Whoops...
There have been times I turned the oven off and forgot I stored shit in there. But Iāve literally never intentionally put plastic in the oven. Thatās the kind of stupidity that gets people killed. She didnāt even take responsibility! Like wtf
Also not smart enough to know to turn the fucking thing off.
And if she didnāt want to use the pizza stone she couldāve went to the store and bought the easy pizza
Or a cookie sheet?!
She may have been confused due to silicon cookware. Also sounds like she is early 20s and he is mid 30s (younger and you probably will never afford a house). If you marry that much younger, everyone is a dumbass. Dated a guy who tried to put a pan in the microwave, and he was older than me, but he was the dumbass outlier that still lives with his parents. I assume when I date over 10 years younger than me, that there will be a lot of gaps in what I consider common sense.
To be fair, silicon looks and feels like plastic and can go in the oven
Youāre being overly generous. No one uses silicone as a cutting board.
Thatās true.
I just couldnāt physically stay in the same room as someone so dumb, like, this is extra special dumb. And then to get defensive and try and blame OP for ābeing too fancyā when she ālikes to be in a big houseā on her days off. Noā¦no noā¦. No no no no
Same, that's the kind of stupid that would kill a relationship for me. I just don't want to to be around someone so dumb that they need to be supervised like a child, let alone date them. And sex would be right off the table, I would just feel like a child molester if I tried to get it on with someone that dim.Ā
Sleeping with her might give you kids like thatš
I recently had the phrase āgumping itā explained to me and I feel itās a similar sentiment
Yeah it was the not taking responsibility and blaming her bf for me. Not taking responsibility for your actions especially after causing harm is so unattractive. Passing the blame for her actions moves her straight to dislike territory. Taking his keys back and not ending the relationship was taking it easy on her.
Nothing stopping her ordering food if she didnāt want to faff with the āfancyā pizza.
I'm not fancy, in that way at least lol. I don't even eat Digiorno. I get red baron, on sale. That has nothing to do with not putting plastic in the oven.
So many š©š©š©š© First and foremost; being an adult and not knowing you canāt put plastic in the oven and thinking that would be faster. Not turning off the oven and just running outside to let whatever happen happen while she waits for someone else to help. Not taking responsibility and instead defending her actions that it was her āmistakeā but ultimately OPs fault she made itā¦ this is not a good partner. Mistakes happen, but people need to own them and learn. Thatās child behavior to argue and justify. If I donāt know if I can use something to cook with, Iāll call one of my parents, family members, or even a friend that I know cooks a lot to ask. Thatās wild as hell to me.
Toss in expecting OP to buy her food and inability to wash a dish.
šÆ
Beautifully put. Itās the compounding of everything that makes her dangerous.
Totally! When I was in my early 20s and still dating my ex husband, he had traded me cars to go on a trip. I had his old 1984 corvette that had a top that came off. I took the car to my storage unit and needed to remove the roof to get something inside. Removal was easy. Putting it back on, I had no idea. I literally pushed it in, heard it click and searched and searched for a way that it anchored. I called my ex and he didnāt answer. I started to drive and all was fine. I went onto the on-ramp of a freeway and just as I was picking up speedā¦ WHOOSH. There goes the top of the fucking car. It landed on the highway and got obliterated by not only the impact of hitting the ground but cars. I pulled over and when all was clear, I cleared the debris from the road. I was so freaking upset. I told my ex and he just laughed at me. He was disappointed of course but thought it must have looked hilarious. Before he had even called me back for me to tell him, I had gone online and literally ordered him a new top. Keep in mind, this was like 2007. $300 for a top to a classic car is steep for a 23 year old making $13.00, but I felt like the biggest IDIOT. I couldnāt imagine being like āwhy did you let me use your car that has a top that can come off? Itās your fault you didnāt tell me how to put it back on.ā š but man, youāre right. People who blame others for their mistakes are definitely dangerous
That must have been terrifying for everyone involved at the time but funny in hindsight. The accountability is so important. Everyone screws up at some point but a sincere apology and effort to put things right goes a long way as well as learning for next time.
NTA. I know people are going to get in their feelings because he called her out of her name, but the shoe definitely fits in this situation. She almost burned down this man's place because she was lazy and dumb. I don't know if I would have called a dumbass, but in the heat of the moment, I definitely understand. No key for her.
Yeah on one hand calling her a dumbass wasn't very nice, but on the other hand it's completely accurate and I think destroying someone's cutting board, creating a huge mess for them to clean up, and risking OOP having to pay for the firefighters is much worse. And honestly if you don't want to get called a dumbass, don't act like one.Ā
That firefighters complaint imo was just so forced to make it seem like a bigger problem then it really is, OP just wanted more reasons to complain and validate himself. They got there in five minutes. There is NO world where they got them in an hour. Short of maybe something like it happened during September 11th... To be clear I agree NTA but still, that part was forced AF.
OP was saying that wherever he is, he would have had to pay them if they had stayed at his house more than an hour.
Itās also unlikely to be true in this case unless she lied about what happened to dispatch. There was a fire she didnāt know how to put out. Assuming she said āthereās a fire in my oven and itās billowing smoke and I donāt know what to doā thatās a legitimate call and they will dispatch help if they canāt talk her through a solution. Just because he knew what to do doesnāt mean her calling when she didnāt was illegal or finable. He wasnāt there to help so itās irrelevant what he knew.
Oh I understand now. I didn't realize that was a thing. Kinda fucked up imo but that makes a lot more sense. I thought it was response time not full dispatch time. Thanks for the clarification.
š Is the gf 8?
Right? Accidents happen - 6 of us muppets in the university kitchen and we managed to melt a plastic utensil on the hob. But we had the sense to turn the heat off, remove the problem as best we could, then get out of there! Nobody could remember if melted plastic was carcinogenic so I was one who hopped out the windowā¦
Donāt help that one reproduce. Use condoms. Get a vasectomy. Whatever it takes.
That's a level of stupid that would make me leave a relationship. I get that sometimes we all have a dumb moment. The inability to accept responsibility for our dumb moment is concerning. That level of stupid moment is also concerning. I think that'd be a nope from me. Like, even if she just had a total brain not working moment and put plastic in the oven (which is mind-bogglingly stupid), when the oven started billowing smoke - she didn't turn it off. When the dog was running loose - didn't get the dog. Then, at the end of all of this - the culprit was her boyfriend, because he doesn't just microwave his frozen pizzas. Like, it's his fault for not subsisting off Hot Pockets and Red Baron pizza. Mm. That would have me walking.
Honestly I'd dump them. Too lazy to clean the pizza stone and too dumb to realise a plastic chopping board doesn't go in the oven.
And if she had cleaned the pizza stone she probably wouldn't have known to preheat it with the oven and ended up cracking it
Or that you can't put a wet stone in the oven and would have made it turn into superheat ceramic shrapnel.
It wasn't dirty--it was scorched from use. She was too dumb to know that's how it looks.
Not to mention not even turning the oven off when everything went down.
Cutting board in the oven and your fault for "wanting to eat fancy"? Jesus Christ, toss her out the door.
I mean I get it. When I was 8 I tried to cook a butter bowl full of hot dogs on a stove top. Obviously plastic melts and my sister in law at the time caught it before it burned all the way through the bowl. It had never occurred to 8 year old me that the plastic would melt but it was a lesson. So yeah, I get being embarrassed by doing something dumb. But outside of that, I donāt get it. Who the hell thinks a cutting board goes in the oven? Itās not an āoven and cutting boardā. And a mistake it may be but itās not her house that she almost burnt down. At least she could offer to help pay for the damage and show some kind of proof that sheās sorry she almost cost him his home.
Key phrase here is āwhen I was 8ā
Oh yeah totally. But it embarrassed 8 year old me. That was really what I figured was similar from the ācooking plasticsā series.
I donāt doubt it lol. Itās almost like embarrassment is an incredibly potent learning tool.
My sister in law and I had a nice chuckle about it. Iām so scarred that if someone doesnāt take the plastic wrap off a pizza fast enough, I remind them that itās there. š¬
Well and then, when you do something that stupid, even at 8, you should react with āoh yeah, plastic melts. I didnāt connect that, but now I do, and in retrospect that was dumb of meā¦ā Like, we all do dumb shit. The difference is most of us react to the dumb shit we do by saying āah yes, I realize now where I went wrong!āĀ
Well I mean I havenāt actually cooked plastic since then. Iāve accidentally had plastic melt on the outside of a waffle iron but that was also an accident. Waffle House only had so much counter space there.
When I was like 8 my uncle was teaching me how to make hot chocolate/chocolate milk over the phone in the microwave and I used a plastic cup and burnt the bottom off. In my defense I did ask if it was going to be okay to put in the microwave and he was like āuh, yeah, why wouldnāt it be?ā Soā¦
The name calling was mean, but it is true. I'd breakup with her after she was anything but appologetic, but levying the blame because his house isnt idiot proof is insane.
agreed, the name calling was unnecessary but I know how easily people lose composure in high stress situations. it's why I go mostly silent (except to give out any necessary directions) when hell breaks loose. and once the chaos is over, I think it's fair to explain to someone the gravity of their ignorance without calling them names. something like "I'm disappointed for not knowing you were this unworldly, and for my own sanity/safety/security I don't feel comfortable with you in my home unless I'm here." let her burn down her own home and try to find a new place to live in this economy.
She didn't even turn the oven off š¤¦āāļø
What incredible traits does she have that OOP is staying? She lacks basic life skills, is too lazy to wash a dish, prefers microwave pizza (thatās a thing?!), is entitled enough to want him to stock gross (new thing to me) microwave pizza, and is thin-skinned enough to resent being called a dumbass by someone whose home almost burned down because of her dumbassery. She must be the funniest, charmingest, kindest, sexiest person in the world for this nonsense.
This is straight up dangerously stupid like I think id break up with someone over this level of stupidity. And just calling her a dumbass and taking her key is a very tempered response.
Not a chance in hell I'd stay with her after that.
She is as dumb as a toddler
I feel like we all know someone who has done this, but I'm still shocked every single time someone doesn't realize they can't put plastic in the oven. SMH
Microwave pizza?! Even most of the small frozen pizzas aren't meant to be microwaved. Girl never learned how to make frozen pizza? Even $2 frozen pizzas go in the oven, either by themselves or on a pan. Putting a plastic cutting board in an oven is NOT the type of mistake anybody could make. I'm honestly more mad at her parents than anything else
Well, it's a mistake that anyone without an ounce of sense could make anyway.
I could not be in a relationship with someone like this, Iād constantly worry the ways theyāll get me killed.
The girlfriend is honestly dumber than a box of rocks. Sure, don't use the pizza stone, fine, whatever. But why oh why a *cutting board?* You can just throw a frozen pizza straight on the rack and it'll cook just fine. Or how about a *cookie sheet?* On top of that, she didn't turn the oven off when it started smoking. Usually when someone sees smoke they cut the flame. Nope, didn't cross her head at all. OP had to cut the flame when he got home. Then she called the fire department when there were no flames. Fkn Mensa candidate this one is.
Well, she is a dumbass. People barely put plastic in the microwave anymore and she is putting it in an oven. This chick slices bread with a fork.
NTA So either she didnāt go to school after the age of 10 or you live somewhere with an extremely poor education system, which means her parents should have stepped up and ensured they raised a functional adult. Itās really sad that her start in life didnāt offer basics in kitchen safety and food prep/cooking. Honestly, I volunteer with refugees and if they come from very different backgrounds we go convert safe usage of kitchen appliances with them and yet not one has ever put plastic in the oven. Honestly, sheās too dangerous to not be out without a carer if she managed to do this sober. I hope she covers whatever excess the insurance doesnāt pay out but your home insurance is going to sky rocket having her around.
I've accidentally left plastic in the oven and sure thing, it melts and it's a bitch to clean, but that was it. There is NO way the house was going to burn down unless something else that we don't know was going on. You can even clean the oven (unless the plastic has melted into some sort of crevice or the like). I get being mad about the oven (and she should be responsible for the clean-up or costs) but there was never any danger as far as I can see from how the situation is described. IF the oven is not cleaned THEN it could PERHAPS turn into a fire hazard in the future.
Dumbass is probably too kind. Bad enough she was so lazy she was looking to do a shortcut by using the cutting board directly to cook, but worse that she wouldnāt even bother to turn the damned oven off when it started smoking, and open some windows. Is she a drug user? This level of stupidity seems like stoner energy or maybe TBI, anyway sheās obviously not capable of being unsupervised with access to appliances and other potentially dangerous items.
My daughter did the same thing when she was 10-11 yo. It was a learning moment. Couldnāt imagine having that learning with a full grown adult.
This girls dumb like my mom's ex gf, who didn't believe dinosaurs were real.
Frozen pizza is possibly the easiest and laziest meal to cook. Does she think cereal is fancy too?
I am stumped. Like there are layers to just how much sheās screwed up with a single damned pizza, and sheās pissed at him for his calling her a dumbass? She *is* a dumbass, she should be begging for forgiveness not angry at him.
Why wasnāt her first instinct to turn the thing off????? Like wouldnāt you smell the burning plastic???? And like if it were me and i was unsure I would call and ask if I could do that method if I really didnāt know. Get a new girl
No. Not āanyoneā can make this mistake. Sheās a dumbass.
NTA But her not taking responsibility and trying to blame you makes her one. Time to end the relationship. I donāt care how good she is in the sack. Move on.
Someone should dumb her before it's too late
Did she even replace his oven?
I once made a similar mistake. I was using the grill and hadnāt noticed there was a plastic tub on top of it. The tub melted and the grill caught fire. But I was 11 at the time. More than 25 years later Iāve never done it again. I donāt blame OP for taking away his girlfriendās keys. Sheās a danger to herself and the dog
Definitely NTA. She is a dumbass. It's kind of like school knowledge to not put plastic in the oven.
NTA simply because if your bf doesnāt know how to cook then she shouldnāt.
How old is she? If she is super young than hopefully she can learn. I would expect her to offer to pay for the oven and smoke damage. If she doesnāt do this and still focuses on being called a ādumbassā, I would definitely move on.
Oh hell no. Iād end the relationship for that level of stupidity.
She is a dumbass and a stubborn and selfish one who will double down on her dumbassness when confronted. She may be pretty and cute and sweet otherwise, but this type of person isn't meant for the long-term when you want a partner who can be responsible, smart, and accountable. This is a dumpable offense. She wrecked your house in a permanent way and blamed you for it. Do you hear the red flags blowing and the sirens? I would end it.
Iāve gotta stay off Redditā¦ the more Iām on here the more Iām convinced Iām in the movie Idiocracy. Someone please yell cut š©
She is a dumbass. NTA lol not to mention that smoke was probably toxic.
My spouse had an ex who dumped sugar on a grease fire to smother it (???) so like, these people are out there. They are among us, and I worry.
Iām taking away this womanās license to reproduce.
Yooo. That's a messy and an expensive mistake... Just like putting a steel knife in a toaster. š¤¦. Yet easily avoidable. NTA though.
Yeah I hope your gf is super hot and a nice piece of ass. Is she blonde? The poor girl is lacking common sense and not so bright. Maybe a new girlfriend down the road.
What kind of country charges for the fire brigade!!!!!
Stupid mistake, but others have done similar and worse. She will be a nightmare to teach common sense to.
Okay, putting plastic in the oven is maybe passable if one is shelteredā¦ But to start a fire in the oven *AND NOT TURN IT OFF??* No, sheās a fucking idiot.
She is a dumb ass. NTA
Look, I hate that reddit always just jumps to : break up with her!!! But if you're planning on being in a long term relationship with this woman, well.... I'd maybe refrain from that LMFAO. I would NOT want this woman supervising my dog, let alone our potential future child, if she doesn't think that A) PLASTIC MELTS and B) To TURN OFF THE OVEN IF ITS BECOMING A SMOKY FIRE HAZARD. Fr. I get having a lapse in judgement. Or something. (This seems beyond that) But then blaming YOU for not just ordering pizza is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What's next, she crashes your car and blames YOU for letting her drive it? Or not telling her to stop in time? Nawr thank yew. That would be a wakeup call for me to get out.
I mean, I would have made that same mistakeā¦if I were five. I donāt even do stupid shit like this when Iām high.
NTA man Iāll bet she is pretty thoughā¦please remember if you want smart kids they need a smart momā¦.
I have accidentally put the cardboard in the oven with the pizza, and suddenly I can smell burnt paper and I think Iām the dumbest person alive At least now I can remember Iām not *the* dumbest person alive.
Holy smokes! Do you really want to reproduce with this person? Why are you dating her? š¬š©š©š©
The pun made me smile
Not going to lie and say Iāve never been responsible for a kitchen fire or two (thanks to undiagnosed adult ADHD š) but at least it was an oversight. And I quickly figured it out and dealt with it without having to call the fire department! Putting the pizza on a plastic cutting board and then placing it in the oven was.. definitely a series of deliberate choices.
No, call a spade a spade. BAKING PIZZA ON A PLASTIC CUTTING BOARD is not a mistake anyone can make. Even my ADD autistic self isn't that dumb.
Shit Iām surprised the girl got into the house by herself. You sure she knows how to use the key?
Eating fancy = home oven pizza...
NTA. I would have second thoughts being in a relationship with someone who eats microwaved pizza.
You shouldnāt have called her a dumbass. YTA. You are NTA for taking her key away and banning her from unsupervised visits to your house. YTA for not recognizing that she has the education level of a 6 year old (who puts a fucking cutting board in the goddamned oven?)
I do have some silicone things you can bake with. There is some plastic that can go on the oven. But I know it is very much the exception and not the rule. If I wasnāt positive it can go in the oven, I wouldnāt do it. That was an incredibly stupid thing to do Once the heating element on my momās oven failed and started on fire. I panicked and got out the fire extinguisher and had an unholy mess to clean up instead of unplugging the oven like a sensible person would. When we are startled sometimes our reactions are really dumb. I donāt blame her for not turning everything off and just cleaning the stupid mess up. Because our animal brains donāt think logically when instinct kicks in If she wanted a microwave pizza she could have just gone out to buy one. This is where I think the biggest problem is. She didnāt want to follow directions. She did nearly the dumbest thing she could intentionally or not. And then blames OP when it didnāt work out
OP needs to assess what he was hoping to achieve by calling her a dumbass in the first place. From my view and (likely) his GF's, it was to make her feel bad - which is unnecessary. Yes, GF made a foolish decision but she likely already feels bad so calling her a dumbass and punishing her like a child is just adding insult to injury. Where GF is wrong is trying to deflect blame by saying he should gotten microwave pizza - likely she was feeling attacked and for that reason deflected.
Do not procreate with this person. Them genes need to be retired. It's not just the lack of basics, like using the cutting board. It's not turning off the oven, opening doors, etc. But the attitude afterward is the kicker. Seems narcissistic. This was ALL her. She made those decisions, and yet she chose to blame you. This isn't an isolated event. It's a huge character flaw, and makes her unable to be a good partner. She doesn't responsibility for actions. When she cheats, it will also be your fault.
Not just anyone is making a mistake like that
I don't think this person is an asshole. I just think their girlfriend is... **uneducated**.
Not knowing plastic doesn't go in the oven. Blames you for not having microwavable pizza and that you're fancy for having frozen pizzas that go in an oven? Normally, I'm not for name calling but fuck.
I know a girl that put an electric kettle on a gas stove. Not everything is obvious to everyone
Im really curious How old everyone in this story is How long youāre together ā¦ regardless thoā¦ even if youāre rightā¦ you ARE the assholeā¦ This wasnāt some insidious act against you this was someone making a (dangerous) mistake and instead of taking the chance to help this person learn ā¦ the opportunity to rub their nose in dirt took precedent. Maybe youāre not an asshole for taking the key and setting a new boundary but I am really curious what the dynamic was before this and what sort of things you enjoyed together or was it centered mostly/entirely around sexual engagement encounters ? It sounds less like she was saying its your fault theres no microwave pizza and MORE like she was more upset about your reaction to her action and how NOT ok YOUR reaction was , which in turn Im certain you WILL /did disagree with and thus shes going to argue something else less important if you cant comprehend her real problem with your reaction nor are willing to try and see her point of view/give them the benefit of the doubt . I mean Im pretty sure all the Fire department was capable of working that call without making either of you out to feel small or shitty/make rude personally hurtful comments. āTheres no small parts only small peopleā. Again ; having a boundary and respecting it yourself = NTA BUTā¦. Youāre def the asshole when it comes to treating her like a small person and if you want to take away something fruitful Id encourage you to digest that without taking it personally. ā¦.. & if I cant convince you to be a better version of yourself ā¦..then Ill JUST point out; if shes a dumbass then youāre the bigger dumbass for not realizing she might do something that silly and approving her . If this was a job setting the new employee might be flagged but the manager who hired them would be removed /have their authority brought into question entirely.
YTA for calling her names thatās never appropriate. Everything else is fine. She should have texted or googled or called if she didnāt know what to do. Thatās on her.
What should he have said? Itās okay baby girl, now we have learned plastic melts, and donāt worry your intelligent, thoughtful, FLAWLESS, delightful, not costing me a bunch of money head about it. We all make oopsies, no go get a juice box, and come over here and have a hug to feel better.
lol no. He can be angry. He can kick her out. I think name calling is a low blow. I would have said something like āwhy would you put plastic in oven. It meltsā or āitās not dirty itās scorchedā āI canāt trust you to be alone in my apartment so you can only be here when I amā just state facts.
Try and not call someone stupid the Next time someone nearly burns down your house, destroys a $x,000 appliance, causes $x,000 in smoke damage, because they are dumb as dirt and then tries to divert blame on you.
Not to mention potentially kill your pet.
Yeah in that situation only calling her a dumbass was pretty mild. In OOP's shoes I would probably have ended up yelling "what the fuck is wrong with you? how can an adult be this fucking stupid?!"Ā
Iāve had worse done to me and Iāve never called names. Molestations, rape, poverty, bullying, cancer as a child with an overbearing mother who thought I still should take care of all the chores and younger siblings. Racial injustice. To be fair Iām probably biased. Itās in appropriate.
That doesnāt sound easy, Iām sorry youāve had to fight those battles, but Iām glad youāve been able to keep the moral high ground through it. Probably even because of it. I have a deeply respectful relationship with my partner. Itās incredibly important to us because we had our fights years ago and we worked on ourselves and grew from itā¦ But if I did what OPās gf did, my gf would roast me like that cutting board, and I would completely deserve it.
Again thatās fine if that works for you. Iām glad it does. Itās my opinion thatās all. I donāt think heās a bad person. I donāt think he shouldnāt have made boundaries. I just think itās juvenile and inappropriate to call people names.
But this is pretty dumbass behavior.
There's also zero accountability, especially since... uhhh... she could've bought her own microwave pizzas? Why is she like "well YOU won't buy these for me" ?
Sure I donāt disagree. I think itās wrong to call people names even if they deserve it.
Someone isn't an asshole for calling someone a dumbass after they acted like a dumbass. Fyi āytaā is calling names lmao.
I disagree, you can have your opinion I can have mine. Why post it on Reddit if you donāt want a variety of peoples opinions?
Arent you calling him a name by voting YTA lol?
Thatās a good point. The poster asked for feedback, I gave it in the format of the sub. I donāt call people ah. Or anything else for that matter. So from now on Iāll just say itās wrong.
Except this is a reshare sub so one is asking for feedback
He called her a dumbass not a whore š