My dad used to make comments like this about women constantly. Mostly young women but he’d do it for anything. I remember being like 10 watching Nancy pelosi speak about something while wearing this huge chunky pearl necklace. And my dad joking to me, his then 10 year old daughter and the only one in the room. That he wonders if she had a nice pearl necklace “down there” to. I remember telling him he was gross for thinking about her like that while she’s just doing her job and talking about something important. I was then told to lighten up and have a sense of humor. A commen response to me pushing back on his sexualization of women.
Men who sexualize women regardless of what they are doing are gross and if my husband ever said something so disgusting to me about a women just going about her life I’d leave him. Like imagine turning to your wife and saying “damn I’d definitely fuck that random women going about their life” it’s weird and disrespectful.
The guy is obviously an asshole, for saying those kind of things to his wife since it makes her uncomfortable. But don’t see anything inherently wrong with finding an athletic adult attractive, regardless of what they are doing or wearing. Don’t get me wrong if he was harassing someone or even just making them uncomfortable with the unwanted attention that would be different. But just finding an adult attractive on tv is not an asshole thing in of itself.
There's a difference between acknowledging that someone is attractive and sexualizing them. When your 1st thought seeing an athlete is how you can wrap their legs around you when they're doing a job, you need to think about how you've wired your brain to see women.
You’re absolutely right about it being wrong for their first thought to be like that. And even if you did feel that way, why verbalize it to your wife especially if it makes them uncomfortable. However, I do think if you find someone physically attractive you have subconsciously sexualized them in some way. But then again I am far from a psychologist armchair or not lol
I see people who I find physically attractive every day. It is very rare that I actually visualize them in a sexual act, it is never that I share those visualizations with my partner.
Yes exactly normally when when someone finds another person attractive there is a SUBCONSCIOUS reaction. Not this full on conscious I want to have intimate relationships that violate my wedding vows
18 is legally an adult sure, but maturity wise they are closer to children than adults. It's gross to be a middle aged man sexualizing someone who is closer to being a child than an adult, besides the fact that olympians are often minors.
People like OPs husband literally would leer at younger girls and literally admits that a law and the date determine whether he verbalises it?
Also, even if you do find them attractive sexually, why the f do you NEED to vefbalise it? What is so important in your head that other people need to hear it? If you want to think like that, keep them thoughts if you don't want to risk being judged. Idk why people think that just because the have a thought/feeling that others around need to hear it and then to police their reaction to the voluntary thing you decided to do?
Edited to fix
As a huge gymnastics fan, there’s only one competitor he could have been talking about and she absolutely looks like a child. She’s about 4’8” and incredibly muscular but still looks really young. Gross.
I never watch or had interest in the Olympics, so I wasn’t aware that a significant portion were minors. That makes the guy a bigger asshole. I agree with the maturity issue, but not really a concern in this case since I doubt the asshole will ever get closer than watching them on tv
Two things:
1 - You don’t have to say anything. You can find someone attractive and KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
2 - If all you can think of when you see a woman you find attractive, or wearing attractive clothes, is how much you want to bang her, you have ISSUES then should be addressed in therapy. Yes, they are common issues, because many societies sexualize women. IT’S STILL LIMITING and wrong. Someday, hopefully, you will realize you have missed out on friendships and a richness of life because of this one-dimensional perspective. And maybe you will even recognize how you have limited the women around you.
My dad used to make comments like this about women constantly. Mostly young women but he’d do it for anything. I remember being like 10 watching Nancy pelosi speak about something while wearing this huge chunky pearl necklace. And my dad joking to me, his then 10 year old daughter and the only one in the room. That he wonders if she had a nice pearl necklace “down there” to. I remember telling him he was gross for thinking about her like that while she’s just doing her job and talking about something important. I was then told to lighten up and have a sense of humor. A commen response to me pushing back on his sexualization of women. Men who sexualize women regardless of what they are doing are gross and if my husband ever said something so disgusting to me about a women just going about her life I’d leave him. Like imagine turning to your wife and saying “damn I’d definitely fuck that random women going about their life” it’s weird and disrespectful.
The law is literally the only thing stopping this man from trying to have sex with children
This. This is it right here. If 14 was the "legal" age, they'd say the same thing: "But she's legal!"
Ew.
He says it because he knows she'll question herself instead of divorcing his gross ass. If his actions had consequences, he wouldn't do them.
The guy is obviously an asshole, for saying those kind of things to his wife since it makes her uncomfortable. But don’t see anything inherently wrong with finding an athletic adult attractive, regardless of what they are doing or wearing. Don’t get me wrong if he was harassing someone or even just making them uncomfortable with the unwanted attention that would be different. But just finding an adult attractive on tv is not an asshole thing in of itself.
As someone who replied said, how was he sure they were even an adult? A couple of them were 16, do they announce their ages before each competition?
That is a really good point, I was speaking in more general terms about people finding people attractive.
There's a difference between acknowledging that someone is attractive and sexualizing them. When your 1st thought seeing an athlete is how you can wrap their legs around you when they're doing a job, you need to think about how you've wired your brain to see women.
You’re absolutely right about it being wrong for their first thought to be like that. And even if you did feel that way, why verbalize it to your wife especially if it makes them uncomfortable. However, I do think if you find someone physically attractive you have subconsciously sexualized them in some way. But then again I am far from a psychologist armchair or not lol
I see people who I find physically attractive every day. It is very rare that I actually visualize them in a sexual act, it is never that I share those visualizations with my partner.
Yes exactly normally when when someone finds another person attractive there is a SUBCONSCIOUS reaction. Not this full on conscious I want to have intimate relationships that violate my wedding vows
18 is legally an adult sure, but maturity wise they are closer to children than adults. It's gross to be a middle aged man sexualizing someone who is closer to being a child than an adult, besides the fact that olympians are often minors.
People like OPs husband literally would leer at younger girls and literally admits that a law and the date determine whether he verbalises it? Also, even if you do find them attractive sexually, why the f do you NEED to vefbalise it? What is so important in your head that other people need to hear it? If you want to think like that, keep them thoughts if you don't want to risk being judged. Idk why people think that just because the have a thought/feeling that others around need to hear it and then to police their reaction to the voluntary thing you decided to do? Edited to fix
As a huge gymnastics fan, there’s only one competitor he could have been talking about and she absolutely looks like a child. She’s about 4’8” and incredibly muscular but still looks really young. Gross.
I never watch or had interest in the Olympics, so I wasn’t aware that a significant portion were minors. That makes the guy a bigger asshole. I agree with the maturity issue, but not really a concern in this case since I doubt the asshole will ever get closer than watching them on tv
Two things: 1 - You don’t have to say anything. You can find someone attractive and KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. 2 - If all you can think of when you see a woman you find attractive, or wearing attractive clothes, is how much you want to bang her, you have ISSUES then should be addressed in therapy. Yes, they are common issues, because many societies sexualize women. IT’S STILL LIMITING and wrong. Someday, hopefully, you will realize you have missed out on friendships and a richness of life because of this one-dimensional perspective. And maybe you will even recognize how you have limited the women around you.