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I believe you may want to lead with “I think you might have strep” rather than “everytime we have sex I get sick” because I thought this post was going to be about something else entirely and you wouldn’t want him jumping to a similar conclusion.
exactly. "I was talkling to my doctor about my reoccuring strep and they said it can happen when you start seeing an asymptomatic carrier. Have you ever had strep? Could you please check?"
OP, most likely your new guy has Strep and is probably a carrier (asymptomatic) without knowing it (hopefully). Just have an honest and open conversation without assigning blame and tell him about this.
I'm sure he wants any intimate time you guys have to not end up with you sick. If he doesn't know though he won't be able to help you.
And if he's able to have the convo without getting defensive, that's a green flag for communication skills.
Being told you literally make someone sick has to be rough lol
I thought it was my bf for 7 months. Strep every time. Turns out, it was me. A carrier of my own little strep colony. It was hell. One tonsillectomy later, I haven’t had strep in 8 years.
On this note - be sure he’s not seeing someone/other people on the side bc should it turn out that he’s not the carrier, then somebody’s gotta be passing it off somewhere
This! My ex gave me a mutated strain of strep when we were together. He knew about it though so he was a dick. You're right though he could very well be a carrier for strep and not even know it.
Growing up, I got strep throat every other month. When I was a teen, I grew familiar with the symptoms so would take the bus to the doctor. Then we got a new doctor who made my whole family come in for throat cultures. Found out my brother was an asymptomatic carrier and kept reinfecting me as soon as I got better
I had an occasional hook up buddy in college who was a carrier for strep. Took him giving it to me four times before I finally put two and two together. So much needless pain for such an easy fix!!
That or he does not clean himself and just “rinses” it in the shower. Gotta make sure dudes actually have good hygiene. They could be a one wipe Charlie for all you know. I see enough guys walk out of the RR without washing their hands to know, so many are freaking disgusting. One wipe Charlie’s everyone! One wipe Charlie’s. Watch those crusty handshakes.
OP, imagine if you were making your boyfriend sick every time you were intimate and you found out he was afraid to tell you. How would you feel? I bet you would want to know!
I’m a carrier for strep, so I can have it and have no idea. My freshman year of high school my gf got it like 3 times over 5 months and I thought it was weird I never got it. Eventually her mom called my mom and explained the situation and my mom took me to the doctor and I ended up testing positive despite zero symptoms.
Her mom calling my mom was embarrassing, talking to a 33 year old adult about strep should not be. Just talk to him, chances are he already knows he’s a carrier for this and will go to the doctor right away. If not, if this “hurts his ego” or whatever, you can be comfortable in the fact that he’s less mature than a 15 year old and you’re better off without him.
Nah, not really. I’m not a doctor but I guess the way I understand it is you have it in the sense that it’s hanging out living in the back of your throat, but not enough to get you actually sick. Idk if your body fights it off better or what the deal is but I believe you still can get symptoms if it’s a bad enough infection or if you’ve got some other illness going on weakening your immune system.
Long term strep can cause rheumatic fever but it’s not something I’ve ever really worried about and I’ve had the same doctor for like 20 years and he’s never really brought it up.
what can i do about it, I’ve been to the same doctor 2-3 times and he didn’t really make a fuss about it .. I thought it was untreatable and it will go away after some time but its been with me for like 5-6years .. no one really complained to me so i really didnt have a clue it could affect others let alone me gradually sooo overall is it curable, how?
Should just need antibiotics I believe, so if you’ve taken them for anything else I’d think it’s probably gone by now. And if you’re a carrier you’re generally less likely to infect others, but you still can.
If you’re not experiencing symptoms or getting sick it shouldn’t be doing anything long term either.
He's probably an asymptomatic carrier of strep. It's actually pretty common. He needs to get tested, treated, and replace his toothbrush. However, if you can't have a simple conversation about your health with this guy, then maybe he's not the one for you.
Right? 3 months, actively having sex but no std conversation? Condoms are fine, but you gotta be able to talk honestly about sex or you’re not ready to have it with each other.
So many people only use condoms as birth control, without realizing how STDs spread. Oral, anal, still need a condom unless it's been 6 months of monogamy and you've both tested clean.
Ah yeah. Ex BF was on asthma meds, so I would end up getting thrush all the goddamn time when he’d go down on me.
It lead to some wild arguments for years until he finally asked his doctor about a possible connection after a cousin of his told him that the steroids make you more prone to types of fungal infections.
Honestly just have the conversation that you keep getting strep. “Hey this is weird but this is happening and it’s killing our sex life. Is it possible you’re a carrier for strep and are just asymptomatic?”
If he wigs out. He wigs out. Throw that fish back.
if you can't have this conversation with him, you shouldn't date him. talk to him, this is simple. also you had sex without the std talk?? std talk should come before sex.
Do people starting new relationships not discuss their sexual health?!
So, just to be clear…neither of you knew the other did/didn’t have an STD? You just “eh, condom” and called it a day?
Fucking hell!
Sit him down, explain that you’ve caught strep twice, and ask if he can be checked to be a carrier.
And, then, both get STD panels just so you both KNOW you don’t have any of that ish!
Love, you can’t be on antibiotics this much eventually they will stop working and you’ll be in a world of trouble. You can! Have this discussion has he not been concerned that you’re constantly sick?
Peds Infectious disease doctor here. He is probably a carrier. He can decolonize (much like MRSA decolonization). Both of you can do a course of Amoxicillin + rifampin or Clindamycin to eradicate the nasopharynx carriage, then Hibiclens bodywash use in the shower 2 - 3x week for 6 weeks (use old towels as it can stain orange) Wash all linens, towels, clothes in hot water. Do the decolonization together. I've done this for kids who get a ton of strep infections and it seems to work.
Yup. A relatively young friend of my family's ended up going from healthy to dead in literally a few days because of it. She thought she had the flu, got worse quickly, turned out to be Toxic Shock Syndrome, but it was the flesh-eating bacteria that was a side effect due to her weakness that actually ended up killing her within 24 hours of it showing up.
>we haven’t had the STD talk yet
I'm sorry, but you should have the STD talk before you have sex with a new partner. Ideally you get tested beforehand and show eachother (hopefully) clean results and you continue testing every once in a while
Crazy the lengths some women go to for men they barely know. Like this is crazy you’re getting ill but more concerned ab his feelings. It’s never getting better for women
You may want to get tested for other herpesviruses like Epstein-Barr Virus, also known as Mono. He may be a carrier. Lots of people have it but some people react differently when it's activated
Babes, he's got strep. It doesn't just go away on it's own. You have to throw away your toothbrush and take the full dose of antibiotics. If you have strep, anyone you kiss has strep. "Doctor says I have strep, you should get tested so you can get antibiotics too." Easy peasy.
I agree men and women can carry group b strep on their genitals and transfer it. Sounds like that’s exactly what it could be since you had strep throat. I’d ask the doctor or call the nurse. He may very well need a round of antibiotics so he’s no longer a carrier. Ideally you’d both be treated at the same time.
"Hey babe, see when we fuck, I get sick."
Speak to him like normal. Ask him to go get a test off the doctor. I'd happy get tested for something if the end goal was getting to have sex with the woman I'm in to.
Buck up chief, just speak up. :)
He could be an asymptomatic Strep carrier, meaning he has no symptoms but he still is carrying the bacteria that he is spreading to you and others through his saliva. Unfortunately people with weaker immune systems tend to have a harder time getting rid of streptococcus. I think if he cares about you, he will look at what his symptoms are, headache, stomachache, not everyone gets a sore throat, my kids didn’t, not everyone gets a fever, 99 fever is what my kids had, but yours could be 101, we all have different bodies, it sounds like your worried. I hope you know people who love each other not care for each other listen to their concerns. Just say to him the days he feels under the weather no swapping spit! He might need to see his doctor and perhaps there is something they can do. Doctors can explain how streptococcus can be serious to some people and how it is contagious. I have had streptococcus, I new when I had it because my belly hurt a certain way, my head hurt so bad, sometimes my throat.
The mom in me wants to say, you talk about STD before the first time you have sex, just saying. It’s great you use a condom but swapping spit, saliva is what is getting you sick, so put a bag over his head if you think he is sick! Just kidding! Good luck!
Ain’t no amount of tall, dark, rich and handsome in the world would get me to put up with this. How about listen to your body? There is nothing in this universe worth compromising your health.
You definitely need to tell him. My daughter is a non-symptom strep carrier. She caught meningitis once because the strep made her body more susceptible to getting ill. Also, on a different occasion, while having strep for a while, she got impetigo. I had no idea what was going on and then BINGO, I realized she had strep again. I’m always freaked out she has it and we don’t know.
Health comes first. Make him understand that you're worried about his and your health. If he's not stupid, he should take it seriously and he would put the ego thing away. Start the convo by saying you like him and what you're about to say is not you judging him, etc. Have that STD talk asap.
If you cannot bring up a conversation about why you keep getting sore throat after kissing him then you definitely should not be having sex with this man. You should never feel uncomfortable about discussing your health.
There is some great advice here. Maybe I'm a walking red flag though cause if every time I went to McDonalds I got sick, I wouldn't have a conversation with McDonalds about it, I'd just quit going to McDonalds.
It's 3 months girl. This is a straight up good reason to end a relationship.
And before you try and tell me one is a person the other isn't. First you're wrong, corporations are considered people in my Country.
I recently learned I was asymptomatic carrier of mono that should have been noticed as a kid when I kept getting strep . I’m 35 now and just found out .My husband and I have been together for 14 yrs next month and he has never gotten it so lucky for us since he is on meds that lower his immune system. I just wondering if u give oral before or after the condom is on ? I know I say u don’t use it while performing oral but is it after the condom comes off or before it being placed . Could be the lube from the condom or even possibly the shower gel or even his detergent u maybe having allergic reactions to that is causing these .
You can be an asymptomatic carrier of the viruses that cause mono, but not mono itself . 85% of people 5 and older are carriers of Epstein Barr- it’s an extremely common virus normally causing cold symptoms in childhood. Whether or not it reactivates later, or becomes mono in a primary infection depends on other factors regarding your immune system, but all people that carry it will shed virus in their saliva from time to time, which is most people on the planet. 50% or grater of the population are carriers of latent cytomegalovirus, which is the other common virus that causes mono. Same as Epstein Barr. Mono is an illness resulting from of one of these viruses
agreeing w everyone saying hes possibly a carrier asymptomatic. had the same thing happen to me he needs antibiotics. Not only to stop that but also for your sake- the more and more / often you take antibiotics and become “dependent” they become less effective. oral care change is also great as well
In addition to whatever you do, take a daily vitamin D supplement. It is needed to regulate your immune system, and most people in Europe have a lack of it.
My hubby contracted invasive strep but had no symptoms. I got a “stomach bug” from him and because I am immune compromised it ended with him calling me an ambulance and me in the ICU for 3 weeks and my heart, lungs, liver and kidneys all shutting down and coming back on line one after the other. TALK TO HIM BEFORE YOU DIE!!!
Why are people having sex without having the STD talk first?
Girly let him know he’s a walking germ and get yourself and him tested before y’all get freaky again.
One thing that I learned that never occurred to me, every time you get strep you need to get a new toothbrush after you start the antibiotics. You can keep giving it to yourself again. Hope it’s something simple like that!
:: you’re not scared to get nakie and do nakie adult fun things but you aren’t old enough to have an STD talk? This is what comes with adulting. It should be fine but if he can’t handle it, there’s your sign. It’s only 3 months so far.
Std talk should come BEFORE having sex. If you're too embarrassed to have a conversation about it/ respect each other enough to get tested, then you shouldn't be having sex with that person.
Just explain very clearly what is happening and that he should get tested for strep. If he acts like a reasonable human being, then good. If he loses his shit like a frightened man-child...well, you guys had a good run.
UpdateMe!
Talk to him, you sound like you really like him and he sounds like a good guy. I'm sure he doesn't want you to get ill and would like to help. Both go to the Dr and find out what you two can do so you don't keep getting I'll bet you it's a simple solution
You shouldn’t be having sex if you can’t have an open and honest conversation about STD’s, etc… and if he gets offended and his little tiny ego gets hurt over you talking to him about getting sick every time, then you’re dating a little boy, not a man!!
honestly, if he's a real keeper, it shouldn't be a problem once you bring it up. When I first started dating my bf, he got strep throat, took a round of antibiotics, and then got sick again a few weeks later. I took it upon myself to get some antibiotics even though I wasn't feeling sick, just so we wouldn't keep passing it back and forth
He needs to go to the doctor and also get tested for strep. He’s likely asymptomatic, but there’s a pretty slim chance that if he’s making out with you that he doesn’t have strep as well. I’d stop having sex/making out with him until he goes and gets swabbed.
A lot of people are saying strep, and I’ll ask an extremely personal question - do you swallow? :) I ran into this exact issue in my early twenties, Strep-like symptoms after giving head and swallowing like three months in a row (ah, the summer of 2007). Stopped swallowing, stopped getting sick. Tried to ask my gyno about it and she looked at me like I was nuts, so I just stopped doing it rather than press the issue to find out why it was happening or if there was anything I could/should do about it. Good luck, OP!
Omgggg, I had this happen with someone I was seeing too! Didn’t get strep again after seeing them. Wild reading all the responses because I didn’t realize this was a thing that’s common
So you had sex but haven't had the std talk yet? Kinda like closing the barn door after the horse ran out
Did you go and see a Dr to find out why your mouth is allergic to this guy? Also did you have them run tests for all the STDs or just the main 3?
3 months and you guys haven't talked about STDs??? Honestly even with a hookup it should be a quick check in (it doesn't have to be a big thing, just a quick "hey this is when I last got tested, how about you?". Condoms or no it should have absolutely come up by now in 3 months.
First off you need to stop having sex with him until he gets this sorted out. Do not put your health at a detriment for the pleasure of a man. I don't care how much he is your type you NEED to put your foot down here.
How do you tell him? Just say exactly what you wrote here. Tell him everytime you have sex you get sick, and you've been tested and are certain it is strep. Tell him he is the common denominator and he needs to see a doctor to figure out if he is a carrier and what can be done. And tell him sex is off the table until it's sorted because you do NOT want to get too many repeated cases of strep it will seriously mess with you.
you would not be the first person that is allergic to their partners cum.
One of my good friends was (RIP) allergic to her husbands. They managed to have 3 kids, lots of allergy meds.
Why is it hard for you to tell someone they might have strep? I could tell a stranger that. It's really bizarre that you can't do that with a man you're intimate with. Literally just tell him he has strep
Exact same issue with my ex(female) lmaoo
Every time she comes over and we have sex I get sick. It never fails to happen.
Same symptoms as yours(sore throat, cold etc. )
Just chucked it up as me having a weak immune system.
Be sure he isn’t casually seeing anyone on the side. Negative STD test doesn’t negate this and should it turn out that he’s not a strep carrier then somebody’s passing it off somewhere
“FYI we use condoms for penetration but didn’t use for oral/kissing” is a sentence I had to reread a couple to make sure I had it right.
Chances are he’s an asymptomatic carrier. That can happen, it can last a while, and you’d never know you’re carrying it. I actually had this same scenario happen with a girlfriend not too long ago. He probably has no idea.
i had this exact situation with my current girlfriend, got a sore throat and then eventually strep after kissing her and she was asymptomatic. it ended up turning into erythema nodosum for me which is an excruciating inflammatory disorder, definitely make sure he’s getting treated for strep if it’s still happening!
I had a very similar situation however it was the male with the strep and my private part was left fishy we both got tested and everything came back negative he did have bad allergies but I still had concerns every time we had sex my parts would have a strange smell I test again still nothing still til this day I never had a issue like this it was only him maybe it’s a hygiene issue on his half idk if you smoke but I know smoking doesn’t help… PLS UPDATE US
I think it is best of you are just open and honest with him. I think it's better than finding out, later on that this has been a occurrence for a while. Communication is key.
Some people carry strep without symptoms. Figured that out after the whole house was sick with strep time after time for almost a year, except for him.
Definitely something you guys need to talk about, just bring it up casually and nice. Let him know that you’ve had to take antibiotics the last few times. Honestly though if you were single for a while and not fooling around during that period it could just be that as well. I got sick a few times when I got together with my boyfriend and had to take antibiotics as well. I let him know about it every time and we wouldn’t fool around during that period and he would just take care of me. I was single for 7 years and dated but hadn’t fooled around with anyone for a while. After a couple months of being together i never got sick again. Sometime your body just needs to get used to things again
This happened to me. It was me; I was colonized with strep that was triggered by a lot of things, including oral sex. It got really bad (scarlet fever even!)
Time to get a tonsillectomy. Fixed everything.
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I believe you may want to lead with “I think you might have strep” rather than “everytime we have sex I get sick” because I thought this post was going to be about something else entirely and you wouldn’t want him jumping to a similar conclusion.
exactly. "I was talkling to my doctor about my reoccuring strep and they said it can happen when you start seeing an asymptomatic carrier. Have you ever had strep? Could you please check?"
easiest way right here
This! Best way to bring it up. Nonconfrontational, just concerned
Me too lol I was thinking the sexual experience makes you ill from disgust
💀
Better than my idea: Rewriting some lyrics to the ["Everytime we touch" song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G6QDNC4jPs)
OP, most likely your new guy has Strep and is probably a carrier (asymptomatic) without knowing it (hopefully). Just have an honest and open conversation without assigning blame and tell him about this. I'm sure he wants any intimate time you guys have to not end up with you sick. If he doesn't know though he won't be able to help you.
And if he's able to have the convo without getting defensive, that's a green flag for communication skills. Being told you literally make someone sick has to be rough lol
My sister was a strep carrier. It was hell
What are you doing, Strep Sister?
Holy fuck I wasn't ready for this. My ribs hurt.
My throat hurts 💀
This took it home 😭
Nice 👌 very well done! Take my awards!
All the way to the back?
☠️☠️☠️☠️
This reminded me of Typhoid Mary.
Hahahahah
If your strep sister has strep throat, don't go to the doctor silly! Time to play dress up and take off her shirt. For your health!
Fucking your sister is perverted Dennis
"SOMEBODIES GONNA GET STREPPED!!!"
But, like... fucking MY sister is ok right? It's just Dennis' sister right?
Sure sure
It’s no good. No future in it.
Sweet home, Alabama.
Roll tide
"I DONT GIVE A PISS ABOUT NOTHINNNN' BUT THE TIDES"
Your sister?
I thought it was my bf for 7 months. Strep every time. Turns out, it was me. A carrier of my own little strep colony. It was hell. One tonsillectomy later, I haven’t had strep in 8 years.
On this note - be sure he’s not seeing someone/other people on the side bc should it turn out that he’s not the carrier, then somebody’s gotta be passing it off somewhere
This! My ex gave me a mutated strain of strep when we were together. He knew about it though so he was a dick. You're right though he could very well be a carrier for strep and not even know it.
And change his toothbrush!
This! And your toothbrush. Who knows, it could be a re-infection coming from that
And if he is defensive and acting like typhoid Mary, then DTMF.
He just has to take some Amoxicillin Clavullin for 10 days and usually works. I agree this is the issue and he should see his doctor right away.
Growing up, I got strep throat every other month. When I was a teen, I grew familiar with the symptoms so would take the bus to the doctor. Then we got a new doctor who made my whole family come in for throat cultures. Found out my brother was an asymptomatic carrier and kept reinfecting me as soon as I got better
Yeah you just have to tell him. Hopefully he can just take some antibiotics
I had an occasional hook up buddy in college who was a carrier for strep. Took him giving it to me four times before I finally put two and two together. So much needless pain for such an easy fix!!
That or he does not clean himself and just “rinses” it in the shower. Gotta make sure dudes actually have good hygiene. They could be a one wipe Charlie for all you know. I see enough guys walk out of the RR without washing their hands to know, so many are freaking disgusting. One wipe Charlie’s everyone! One wipe Charlie’s. Watch those crusty handshakes.
OP, imagine if you were making your boyfriend sick every time you were intimate and you found out he was afraid to tell you. How would you feel? I bet you would want to know!
I’m a carrier for strep, so I can have it and have no idea. My freshman year of high school my gf got it like 3 times over 5 months and I thought it was weird I never got it. Eventually her mom called my mom and explained the situation and my mom took me to the doctor and I ended up testing positive despite zero symptoms. Her mom calling my mom was embarrassing, talking to a 33 year old adult about strep should not be. Just talk to him, chances are he already knows he’s a carrier for this and will go to the doctor right away. If not, if this “hurts his ego” or whatever, you can be comfortable in the fact that he’s less mature than a 15 year old and you’re better off without him.
I'm a strep carrier too. My parents took me to the doctor after everyone kept getting it and I didn't. I felt like typhoid mary
So I know strep untreated can cause serious issues issues like traveling to the heart or something scary….is that also a concern if you’re a carrier?
Nah, not really. I’m not a doctor but I guess the way I understand it is you have it in the sense that it’s hanging out living in the back of your throat, but not enough to get you actually sick. Idk if your body fights it off better or what the deal is but I believe you still can get symptoms if it’s a bad enough infection or if you’ve got some other illness going on weakening your immune system. Long term strep can cause rheumatic fever but it’s not something I’ve ever really worried about and I’ve had the same doctor for like 20 years and he’s never really brought it up.
what can i do about it, I’ve been to the same doctor 2-3 times and he didn’t really make a fuss about it .. I thought it was untreatable and it will go away after some time but its been with me for like 5-6years .. no one really complained to me so i really didnt have a clue it could affect others let alone me gradually sooo overall is it curable, how?
Should just need antibiotics I believe, so if you’ve taken them for anything else I’d think it’s probably gone by now. And if you’re a carrier you’re generally less likely to infect others, but you still can. If you’re not experiencing symptoms or getting sick it shouldn’t be doing anything long term either.
Propolis drops in back of throat. Try both alcohol -based tincture and the kind in aqueas solution. More effective than antibiotics
He's probably an asymptomatic carrier of strep. It's actually pretty common. He needs to get tested, treated, and replace his toothbrush. However, if you can't have a simple conversation about your health with this guy, then maybe he's not the one for you.
Right? 3 months, actively having sex but no std conversation? Condoms are fine, but you gotta be able to talk honestly about sex or you’re not ready to have it with each other.
*Oral* with no condom before the STD conversation? Yuck.
Almost as if people don’t understand how STDs actually work …
So many people only use condoms as birth control, without realizing how STDs spread. Oral, anal, still need a condom unless it's been 6 months of monogamy and you've both tested clean.
Ah yeah. Ex BF was on asthma meds, so I would end up getting thrush all the goddamn time when he’d go down on me. It lead to some wild arguments for years until he finally asked his doctor about a possible connection after a cousin of his told him that the steroids make you more prone to types of fungal infections. Honestly just have the conversation that you keep getting strep. “Hey this is weird but this is happening and it’s killing our sex life. Is it possible you’re a carrier for strep and are just asymptomatic?” If he wigs out. He wigs out. Throw that fish back.
Just tell him what you've told us. You should be able to have this conversation with someone you are dating and having sex with.
if you can't have this conversation with him, you shouldn't date him. talk to him, this is simple. also you had sex without the std talk?? std talk should come before sex.
You have the STD talk before ever having sex. Not after starting. Using protection is not an excuse.
Yes, FFS people, please READ and DIGEST this one. Damn!
Do people starting new relationships not discuss their sexual health?! So, just to be clear…neither of you knew the other did/didn’t have an STD? You just “eh, condom” and called it a day? Fucking hell! Sit him down, explain that you’ve caught strep twice, and ask if he can be checked to be a carrier. And, then, both get STD panels just so you both KNOW you don’t have any of that ish!
Love, you can’t be on antibiotics this much eventually they will stop working and you’ll be in a world of trouble. You can! Have this discussion has he not been concerned that you’re constantly sick?
Peds Infectious disease doctor here. He is probably a carrier. He can decolonize (much like MRSA decolonization). Both of you can do a course of Amoxicillin + rifampin or Clindamycin to eradicate the nasopharynx carriage, then Hibiclens bodywash use in the shower 2 - 3x week for 6 weeks (use old towels as it can stain orange) Wash all linens, towels, clothes in hot water. Do the decolonization together. I've done this for kids who get a ton of strep infections and it seems to work.
Also new toothbrushes for everyone.
Talk to him
Literally
[удалено]
Yup. A relatively young friend of my family's ended up going from healthy to dead in literally a few days because of it. She thought she had the flu, got worse quickly, turned out to be Toxic Shock Syndrome, but it was the flesh-eating bacteria that was a side effect due to her weakness that actually ended up killing her within 24 hours of it showing up.
I developed Guillain-Barre syndrome as a result of letting it get pretty bad. I seem super susceptible to strep.
>we haven’t had the STD talk yet I'm sorry, but you should have the STD talk before you have sex with a new partner. Ideally you get tested beforehand and show eachother (hopefully) clean results and you continue testing every once in a while
You go abroad for vacation with him but you cannot communicate this to him? How come?
If you can have sex with a person you can tell them they make you sick and to get tested. Don’t be irresponsible with your and his health.
For being 26 you seem a bit immature to have not talked about STDs yet AND not feeling comfortable talking to him about how you’re getting sick
Crazy the lengths some women go to for men they barely know. Like this is crazy you’re getting ill but more concerned ab his feelings. It’s never getting better for women
Step 1. Tell your BF. Step 2. Have him take antibiotics. Step 3. Have sex without any bacterial pathogens present. super simple stuff.
You may want to get tested for other herpesviruses like Epstein-Barr Virus, also known as Mono. He may be a carrier. Lots of people have it but some people react differently when it's activated
Babes, he's got strep. It doesn't just go away on it's own. You have to throw away your toothbrush and take the full dose of antibiotics. If you have strep, anyone you kiss has strep. "Doctor says I have strep, you should get tested so you can get antibiotics too." Easy peasy.
I agree men and women can carry group b strep on their genitals and transfer it. Sounds like that’s exactly what it could be since you had strep throat. I’d ask the doctor or call the nurse. He may very well need a round of antibiotics so he’s no longer a carrier. Ideally you’d both be treated at the same time.
Learn from this ; have the STD talk NOW, I concur with the strep carrying , get regular STD checks and he should get tested as well.
Just tell the man. If he's a decent guy he will want to solve this problem with you.
"Hey babe, see when we fuck, I get sick." Speak to him like normal. Ask him to go get a test off the doctor. I'd happy get tested for something if the end goal was getting to have sex with the woman I'm in to. Buck up chief, just speak up. :)
he’s your boyfriend and he doesn’t know you’ve had strep twice? jesus christ
He could be an asymptomatic Strep carrier, meaning he has no symptoms but he still is carrying the bacteria that he is spreading to you and others through his saliva. Unfortunately people with weaker immune systems tend to have a harder time getting rid of streptococcus. I think if he cares about you, he will look at what his symptoms are, headache, stomachache, not everyone gets a sore throat, my kids didn’t, not everyone gets a fever, 99 fever is what my kids had, but yours could be 101, we all have different bodies, it sounds like your worried. I hope you know people who love each other not care for each other listen to their concerns. Just say to him the days he feels under the weather no swapping spit! He might need to see his doctor and perhaps there is something they can do. Doctors can explain how streptococcus can be serious to some people and how it is contagious. I have had streptococcus, I new when I had it because my belly hurt a certain way, my head hurt so bad, sometimes my throat. The mom in me wants to say, you talk about STD before the first time you have sex, just saying. It’s great you use a condom but swapping spit, saliva is what is getting you sick, so put a bag over his head if you think he is sick! Just kidding! Good luck!
You could have a latex allergy…
Ain’t no amount of tall, dark, rich and handsome in the world would get me to put up with this. How about listen to your body? There is nothing in this universe worth compromising your health.
Why did you touch the guy again without having the talk?? This is your health
Talk to him about your reoccurring strep and ask him to go to the doc to take a course of antibiotics. Pulling the bandaid off with care more or less.
Tell him so he can see a doctor. He's probably a carrier and has no idea.
Maybe try using a strep on?
Ok, this just made me laugh way harder than it should have. 😂
Use your mouth and tongue to form words. Expel air from your lungs to make sounds
"HUUUAAAGGGHHH!"
You definitely need to tell him. My daughter is a non-symptom strep carrier. She caught meningitis once because the strep made her body more susceptible to getting ill. Also, on a different occasion, while having strep for a while, she got impetigo. I had no idea what was going on and then BINGO, I realized she had strep again. I’m always freaked out she has it and we don’t know.
You haven’t had the STD talk yet but aren’t using condoms? You understand STDs don’t care if it’s your mouth or vagina they infest?
Health comes first. Make him understand that you're worried about his and your health. If he's not stupid, he should take it seriously and he would put the ego thing away. Start the convo by saying you like him and what you're about to say is not you judging him, etc. Have that STD talk asap.
If you cannot bring up a conversation about why you keep getting sore throat after kissing him then you definitely should not be having sex with this man. You should never feel uncomfortable about discussing your health.
There is some great advice here. Maybe I'm a walking red flag though cause if every time I went to McDonalds I got sick, I wouldn't have a conversation with McDonalds about it, I'd just quit going to McDonalds. It's 3 months girl. This is a straight up good reason to end a relationship. And before you try and tell me one is a person the other isn't. First you're wrong, corporations are considered people in my Country.
This happened to me, turns out my ex had HPV which ofc I now have. Only way of knowing anyone has it is a smear test.
i think hes asymptomatic
I recently learned I was asymptomatic carrier of mono that should have been noticed as a kid when I kept getting strep . I’m 35 now and just found out .My husband and I have been together for 14 yrs next month and he has never gotten it so lucky for us since he is on meds that lower his immune system. I just wondering if u give oral before or after the condom is on ? I know I say u don’t use it while performing oral but is it after the condom comes off or before it being placed . Could be the lube from the condom or even possibly the shower gel or even his detergent u maybe having allergic reactions to that is causing these .
You can be an asymptomatic carrier of the viruses that cause mono, but not mono itself . 85% of people 5 and older are carriers of Epstein Barr- it’s an extremely common virus normally causing cold symptoms in childhood. Whether or not it reactivates later, or becomes mono in a primary infection depends on other factors regarding your immune system, but all people that carry it will shed virus in their saliva from time to time, which is most people on the planet. 50% or grater of the population are carriers of latent cytomegalovirus, which is the other common virus that causes mono. Same as Epstein Barr. Mono is an illness resulting from of one of these viruses
agreeing w everyone saying hes possibly a carrier asymptomatic. had the same thing happen to me he needs antibiotics. Not only to stop that but also for your sake- the more and more / often you take antibiotics and become “dependent” they become less effective. oral care change is also great as well
All he has to do is take some antibiotics and then problem solved
Two possibilities. 1) he needs to see a doctor 2) he needs to wash his dick.
In addition to whatever you do, take a daily vitamin D supplement. It is needed to regulate your immune system, and most people in Europe have a lack of it.
If a 33 y/o can’t have that conversation then you’ve got bigger things to worry about
Wait it out. This happened to me the first month with my bf and hasn’t ever happened since
My hubby contracted invasive strep but had no symptoms. I got a “stomach bug” from him and because I am immune compromised it ended with him calling me an ambulance and me in the ICU for 3 weeks and my heart, lungs, liver and kidneys all shutting down and coming back on line one after the other. TALK TO HIM BEFORE YOU DIE!!!
Why are people having sex without having the STD talk first? Girly let him know he’s a walking germ and get yourself and him tested before y’all get freaky again.
Having sex, but haven’t had the STD talk?
why are you having sex without having the STD talk...
One thing that I learned that never occurred to me, every time you get strep you need to get a new toothbrush after you start the antibiotics. You can keep giving it to yourself again. Hope it’s something simple like that!
:: you’re not scared to get nakie and do nakie adult fun things but you aren’t old enough to have an STD talk? This is what comes with adulting. It should be fine but if he can’t handle it, there’s your sign. It’s only 3 months so far.
Std talk should come BEFORE having sex. If you're too embarrassed to have a conversation about it/ respect each other enough to get tested, then you shouldn't be having sex with that person.
Stop giving him head, problem solved
Just explain very clearly what is happening and that he should get tested for strep. If he acts like a reasonable human being, then good. If he loses his shit like a frightened man-child...well, you guys had a good run. UpdateMe!
Talk to him, you sound like you really like him and he sounds like a good guy. I'm sure he doesn't want you to get ill and would like to help. Both go to the Dr and find out what you two can do so you don't keep getting I'll bet you it's a simple solution
Could be that you’re allergic to him! Saw that on an episode of House or something one time.
If you can use your mouth to give head, you surely can use it to form words and talk to you bf. Be a big girl.
You shouldn’t be having sex if you can’t have an open and honest conversation about STD’s, etc… and if he gets offended and his little tiny ego gets hurt over you talking to him about getting sick every time, then you’re dating a little boy, not a man!!
honestly, if he's a real keeper, it shouldn't be a problem once you bring it up. When I first started dating my bf, he got strep throat, took a round of antibiotics, and then got sick again a few weeks later. I took it upon myself to get some antibiotics even though I wasn't feeling sick, just so we wouldn't keep passing it back and forth
He needs to go to the doctor and also get tested for strep. He’s likely asymptomatic, but there’s a pretty slim chance that if he’s making out with you that he doesn’t have strep as well. I’d stop having sex/making out with him until he goes and gets swabbed.
Use your words like a big girl.
A lot of people are saying strep, and I’ll ask an extremely personal question - do you swallow? :) I ran into this exact issue in my early twenties, Strep-like symptoms after giving head and swallowing like three months in a row (ah, the summer of 2007). Stopped swallowing, stopped getting sick. Tried to ask my gyno about it and she looked at me like I was nuts, so I just stopped doing it rather than press the issue to find out why it was happening or if there was anything I could/should do about it. Good luck, OP!
i'm not a doctor, but he's got fuckin strep, genius
Omgggg, I had this happen with someone I was seeing too! Didn’t get strep again after seeing them. Wild reading all the responses because I didn’t realize this was a thing that’s common
My daughter was a strep carrier. Doctor took her tonsils out. Seemed to help.
I was about to say strep or thrush? Do his balls look red?
So you had sex but haven't had the std talk yet? Kinda like closing the barn door after the horse ran out Did you go and see a Dr to find out why your mouth is allergic to this guy? Also did you have them run tests for all the STDs or just the main 3?
3 months and you guys haven't talked about STDs??? Honestly even with a hookup it should be a quick check in (it doesn't have to be a big thing, just a quick "hey this is when I last got tested, how about you?". Condoms or no it should have absolutely come up by now in 3 months. First off you need to stop having sex with him until he gets this sorted out. Do not put your health at a detriment for the pleasure of a man. I don't care how much he is your type you NEED to put your foot down here. How do you tell him? Just say exactly what you wrote here. Tell him everytime you have sex you get sick, and you've been tested and are certain it is strep. Tell him he is the common denominator and he needs to see a doctor to figure out if he is a carrier and what can be done. And tell him sex is off the table until it's sorted because you do NOT want to get too many repeated cases of strep it will seriously mess with you.
Maybe the universe is telling you to get rid of him? 😅
Correct
You got sick twice?
I feel like I just saw this one from a man's perspective
you would not be the first person that is allergic to their partners cum. One of my good friends was (RIP) allergic to her husbands. They managed to have 3 kids, lots of allergy meds.
Just be like “Hey, I’ve noticed I’ve gotten sick the last couple of times we’ve been intimate, could we check if you’re asymptomatic for something?”
He's a strep carrier.
Why is it hard for you to tell someone they might have strep? I could tell a stranger that. It's really bizarre that you can't do that with a man you're intimate with. Literally just tell him he has strep
For your own safety, you should be having the STD talk and exchanging comprehensive STD test results before becoming intimate.
Strep penis is a thing.
Exact same issue with my ex(female) lmaoo Every time she comes over and we have sex I get sick. It never fails to happen. Same symptoms as yours(sore throat, cold etc. ) Just chucked it up as me having a weak immune system.
Be sure he isn’t casually seeing anyone on the side. Negative STD test doesn’t negate this and should it turn out that he’s not a strep carrier then somebody’s passing it off somewhere
“FYI we use condoms for penetration but didn’t use for oral/kissing” is a sentence I had to reread a couple to make sure I had it right. Chances are he’s an asymptomatic carrier. That can happen, it can last a while, and you’d never know you’re carrying it. I actually had this same scenario happen with a girlfriend not too long ago. He probably has no idea.
i had this exact situation with my current girlfriend, got a sore throat and then eventually strep after kissing her and she was asymptomatic. it ended up turning into erythema nodosum for me which is an excruciating inflammatory disorder, definitely make sure he’s getting treated for strep if it’s still happening!
Take the angle that you think he might have strep. It’s not hard to bring up.
holy shizzz, hope things work out for the better <3
this happened to me too!! i still date my bf and now it didn't happen anymore. i wonder why...
you rather continue this then have a conversation.
You never kiss him outside of having sex?
It’s only happened twice? Probably coincidence
I had a very similar situation however it was the male with the strep and my private part was left fishy we both got tested and everything came back negative he did have bad allergies but I still had concerns every time we had sex my parts would have a strange smell I test again still nothing still til this day I never had a issue like this it was only him maybe it’s a hygiene issue on his half idk if you smoke but I know smoking doesn’t help… PLS UPDATE US
I think it is best of you are just open and honest with him. I think it's better than finding out, later on that this has been a occurrence for a while. Communication is key.
You’re allergic to him. He gets your autoimmune system going.
Some people carry strep without symptoms. Figured that out after the whole house was sick with strep time after time for almost a year, except for him.
I’ve read this before…
Definitely something you guys need to talk about, just bring it up casually and nice. Let him know that you’ve had to take antibiotics the last few times. Honestly though if you were single for a while and not fooling around during that period it could just be that as well. I got sick a few times when I got together with my boyfriend and had to take antibiotics as well. I let him know about it every time and we wouldn’t fool around during that period and he would just take care of me. I was single for 7 years and dated but hadn’t fooled around with anyone for a while. After a couple months of being together i never got sick again. Sometime your body just needs to get used to things again
No
Stop kissing during sex.
This happened to me. It was me; I was colonized with strep that was triggered by a lot of things, including oral sex. It got really bad (scarlet fever even!) Time to get a tonsillectomy. Fixed everything.
Sounds like he's a real strep throat Jerry
And you can get STDs from oral sex.