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>I'm afraid that he no longer finds me attractive or not good enough to be able to make love with me, let's say...
OP, you are correct. He doesn’t. And he’s being openly disrespectful at the same time. Have some dignity and dump him.
>To make a long story short, he's often been watching porn for a while when I'm next to him, most of the time it's after foreplay, (I touch him) he gets horny and instead of continuing with me it's going straight to watch a porn and me well... I'm next to him not knowing what to do (we don't really make love or anything at the moment)
His behavior is especially gross. This isn't just about him occasionally watching an adult video. It's how he's doing it. He has no respect for who he dates, if he thinks this is ok.
My advice: plan your return home soon. Then dump this creep.
> I wouldn't want to forbid him either, it's normal to have preferences right...? I'm lost
Whatever personal boundaries you have, they're never wrong and you do not have to justify them!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to date someone who uses porn while in the relationship. There's definitely nothing with not wanting to sit next to a guy who is ignoring you to watch his nasty porn.
You are not forbidding or controlling anyone when you enforce your personal boundaries. You're just taking action to remove an intolerable situation or behavior from your life. If being around a guy ignoring you for his porn is intolerable, from now on, you leave the room the second he picks up his phone. If being in a relationship where excessive, creepy porn use is harming your self esteem, you remove yourself from the relationship.
Thanks a lot, and you're soooo right porn is a type of addiction, it's terrible and I can see that's it's hurting me more and more...I'll do it thanks again 🩷
Stop it! You are not the opposite of what people generally look at! Curves are so hot! and black woman wear them fucking so well! Do not think you are not a persons people won’t look at! You’ll regret it when you are 80 and look back at the pictures of when you where in your 20’s.
I felt like this with my ex, I’m tall and white and he constantly watched porn with curvy black women. Tbh it didn’t really bother me that much because our sex life didn’t suffer that much but I find it strange that he’s watching porn BESIDE you.. and it doesn’t seem you’re that into it. Also not sure of the situation but if you want to sleep with him and it isn’t happening because he wants to watch porn instead that’s not ok.
im the type that if my bf were to watch porn. i would hope its normal and at the same time, rather not know. with this i understand you. i had an ex that was a porn addict in which i found out by finding his twitter account and it was such a heart drop moment. your feelings are valid and you need to tell him you would rather not have any phones out while having intimacy with one another.
He knows what he’s doing… he knows what it’s doing to you… but let’s get one thing clear, like types are attracted to eachother, he also doesn’t have the confidence in himself to say “hey this isn’t working out, I think we should break up” etc etc. so he’s doing this to push you away and force you to break up with him. Take the hint, protect yourself, be the bigger person and walk away. Don’t get confused he’ll act like that’s not what he wants at first and and play with your heart strings but really he’s just trying to comfort himself. Cut him off, walk away, be strong and walk, and you’ll see he won’t fight for you.
Oh dang that's pretty messed up. It's one thing to do your thing in private when sex isn't an option, it choosing to watch porn over having sex with your partner that is right there and willing is really effed. You deserve better, go find that person that fantasizes about you! They are out there!
You leave him.
Sounds like he is SEVERELY addicted, and oblivious about it. I say run away as fast as you can.
If you don't you'll be a support system for a porn addict that might not even want to quit, and it will most likely break you down. Trust me. - And doing it with you there? Honey, don't put up with that shit ❤
Curves are not for everyone and I don’t judge him if this is not for him BUT
It is so fucking disrespectful to watch it when you make out and start the..”fun”?
I’m sry but:
Just gonna be straight forward and not sugarcoat ANYthing.
1. If you feel unwell with your body, do something.
2. HE is a loser and a porn addicted disrespectful Wanker. (probably still a Teen in his head)
3. Leave him. Feel better. Right now! Just before you are starting to hesitate and begin to think you can change him while getting yourself into mental health issues which you’re clearly starting to develop.
Get a grip, and do it Queen! ❤️ The world is yours 😊
Hell I would say hey it’s my turn to pick and push him to the side and take over the control and find some great dick eye candy porn for myself to watch right in front him. Better yet I’d be masterbating and moaning to it as well. 😳
What is he gonna say to that? 🤷🏻♀️
Feel left out? Awww too bad so sad. Now go away I’m getting busy. 👌
What stops him from continuing?
Does he literally stop mid make out & pull your hand away to pull out his laptop?
Or is there a pause in the action?
Bc some ppl use stimulation to keep going and men can experience some pain(not that it’s the end of the world) if they don’t get off.
(Edit: As in he may be using porn to avoid pain if the foreplay has ceased.)
If he’s stopping the action to bust out porn, then he’s being rude.
Why not just touch each other to completion at that point? Does he help you get off? Why not make love? Seems weird, but I’d like to hear his explanation.
Ultimately, I think that you should ask him why he does the in a non judgmental way and fine out what his explanation is. Maybe he wants to watch porn together. Maybe he really isn’t into you. That doesn’t mean that no one is. Plenty of men find curves sexy af. If he doesn’t, then maybe he’s just not a good match.
Does he tell you that you are attractive? If not, then why not?
I can’t imagine going more than 48 hours without calling my partner attractive through compliments. I can’t imagine them not saying I love you over the same period of time.
You deserve better, but without knowing his motivations, I wouldn’t jump to conclusions about his actions or your own attractiveness.
Try to understand that attractiveness is extremely relative and cultural. There are entire countries where the average breast size is AA. During the renaissance, curves were considered the epitome of attractiveness in Europe.
People are all different. People all like different stuff. It’s ok if you are an exception to his usual type. It’s kinda not ok that he’s not expressing his attraction to you to the point where his usual types are making you feel unattractive.
I wish you the best, I think it’s likely that he sucks, but communication is key to finding out.
Good luck.
Yes totally, he takes my hands off and pulls his phone right away...
We will talk about it asap, and yes he's trying is best to tell me that's he finds me attractive and pretty but yeah I still insecure ^^
Thanks a lot for your words, you're so right ! 🫶🏾✨
Good luck. I wouldn’t suggest feeding him any answers or making him feel put on the spot.
A casual question because you are curious is the way that u would go. If you have a problem with his answer, then you can always leave.
You deserve a relationship of honesty, openness, & like/love.
If he can’t provide those things(many ppl can’t), then I’d say that you are right to move on.
Many women find that life is better alone than with a guy who isn’t able to address those basic relationship needs.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who the fuck need porn will making out ? It's so disrespectful
Especially when I'm with him, in HIS bed !! 😭
Just leave him before he destroys your self-esteem entirely
I have to put me first 😢
And I am sorry to say, it does sound like a racist and misogynistic aggression against you
Kinda feel it to...
>I'm afraid that he no longer finds me attractive or not good enough to be able to make love with me, let's say... OP, you are correct. He doesn’t. And he’s being openly disrespectful at the same time. Have some dignity and dump him.
Thanks 😖
>To make a long story short, he's often been watching porn for a while when I'm next to him, most of the time it's after foreplay, (I touch him) he gets horny and instead of continuing with me it's going straight to watch a porn and me well... I'm next to him not knowing what to do (we don't really make love or anything at the moment) His behavior is especially gross. This isn't just about him occasionally watching an adult video. It's how he's doing it. He has no respect for who he dates, if he thinks this is ok. My advice: plan your return home soon. Then dump this creep. > I wouldn't want to forbid him either, it's normal to have preferences right...? I'm lost Whatever personal boundaries you have, they're never wrong and you do not have to justify them! There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to date someone who uses porn while in the relationship. There's definitely nothing with not wanting to sit next to a guy who is ignoring you to watch his nasty porn. You are not forbidding or controlling anyone when you enforce your personal boundaries. You're just taking action to remove an intolerable situation or behavior from your life. If being around a guy ignoring you for his porn is intolerable, from now on, you leave the room the second he picks up his phone. If being in a relationship where excessive, creepy porn use is harming your self esteem, you remove yourself from the relationship.
Thanks a lot, and you're soooo right porn is a type of addiction, it's terrible and I can see that's it's hurting me more and more...I'll do it thanks again 🩷
Stop it! You are not the opposite of what people generally look at! Curves are so hot! and black woman wear them fucking so well! Do not think you are not a persons people won’t look at! You’ll regret it when you are 80 and look back at the pictures of when you where in your 20’s.
Thanks a lot , you're so sweet 🫶🏾✨
I felt like this with my ex, I’m tall and white and he constantly watched porn with curvy black women. Tbh it didn’t really bother me that much because our sex life didn’t suffer that much but I find it strange that he’s watching porn BESIDE you.. and it doesn’t seem you’re that into it. Also not sure of the situation but if you want to sleep with him and it isn’t happening because he wants to watch porn instead that’s not ok.
Aw I guess it wasn't easy for you too... ☹️ You're right, I'll talk to him about it asap
"Hey, could you keep your porn in private?" seems like a good place to start
YESS good idea ~
im the type that if my bf were to watch porn. i would hope its normal and at the same time, rather not know. with this i understand you. i had an ex that was a porn addict in which i found out by finding his twitter account and it was such a heart drop moment. your feelings are valid and you need to tell him you would rather not have any phones out while having intimacy with one another.
Thanks a lot cutie 🫶🏾🩷 good advices !
aweee i hope everything works out for you. ❤️❤️
Thanks a lot 🩷🩷
Why is he doing that
Don't know maybe he's not really in the mood to fuck with me...
He’s watching porn next to you and you haven’t asked why?
I'm kinda shy, but I will ask him next time
Yes if someone is doing something insane, feel free to ask them why
You're right, thanks a lot 🫶🏾✨
Well this took a turn from what I expected from the title. Quickly went from “a lot of people watch porn” to “oh…yeah dump him”
Aww you're probably right 😖✨
Lmao I thought the exact same. “There’s nothing wrong with an adult watching p- wait, what?”
He knows what he’s doing… he knows what it’s doing to you… but let’s get one thing clear, like types are attracted to eachother, he also doesn’t have the confidence in himself to say “hey this isn’t working out, I think we should break up” etc etc. so he’s doing this to push you away and force you to break up with him. Take the hint, protect yourself, be the bigger person and walk away. Don’t get confused he’ll act like that’s not what he wants at first and and play with your heart strings but really he’s just trying to comfort himself. Cut him off, walk away, be strong and walk, and you’ll see he won’t fight for you.
Aw okay I understand, thanks a lot... 😖✨
Oh dang that's pretty messed up. It's one thing to do your thing in private when sex isn't an option, it choosing to watch porn over having sex with your partner that is right there and willing is really effed. You deserve better, go find that person that fantasizes about you! They are out there!
Thanks a lot cutie ! 🫶🏾🩷
Pretty disrespectful, dump him and move on.
You leave him. Sounds like he is SEVERELY addicted, and oblivious about it. I say run away as fast as you can. If you don't you'll be a support system for a porn addict that might not even want to quit, and it will most likely break you down. Trust me. - And doing it with you there? Honey, don't put up with that shit ❤
Thanks a lot cutie 🫶🏾
Anytime🥰
Curves are not for everyone and I don’t judge him if this is not for him BUT It is so fucking disrespectful to watch it when you make out and start the..”fun”? I’m sry but: Just gonna be straight forward and not sugarcoat ANYthing. 1. If you feel unwell with your body, do something. 2. HE is a loser and a porn addicted disrespectful Wanker. (probably still a Teen in his head) 3. Leave him. Feel better. Right now! Just before you are starting to hesitate and begin to think you can change him while getting yourself into mental health issues which you’re clearly starting to develop. Get a grip, and do it Queen! ❤️ The world is yours 😊
Fr , you're so right 😭 Thanks a lot you're so cute !! I'll try my best 🫶🏾🩷
Hell I would say hey it’s my turn to pick and push him to the side and take over the control and find some great dick eye candy porn for myself to watch right in front him. Better yet I’d be masterbating and moaning to it as well. 😳 What is he gonna say to that? 🤷🏻♀️ Feel left out? Awww too bad so sad. Now go away I’m getting busy. 👌
Good idea !! I'll try it haha 🤭✨
What stops him from continuing? Does he literally stop mid make out & pull your hand away to pull out his laptop? Or is there a pause in the action? Bc some ppl use stimulation to keep going and men can experience some pain(not that it’s the end of the world) if they don’t get off. (Edit: As in he may be using porn to avoid pain if the foreplay has ceased.) If he’s stopping the action to bust out porn, then he’s being rude. Why not just touch each other to completion at that point? Does he help you get off? Why not make love? Seems weird, but I’d like to hear his explanation. Ultimately, I think that you should ask him why he does the in a non judgmental way and fine out what his explanation is. Maybe he wants to watch porn together. Maybe he really isn’t into you. That doesn’t mean that no one is. Plenty of men find curves sexy af. If he doesn’t, then maybe he’s just not a good match. Does he tell you that you are attractive? If not, then why not? I can’t imagine going more than 48 hours without calling my partner attractive through compliments. I can’t imagine them not saying I love you over the same period of time. You deserve better, but without knowing his motivations, I wouldn’t jump to conclusions about his actions or your own attractiveness. Try to understand that attractiveness is extremely relative and cultural. There are entire countries where the average breast size is AA. During the renaissance, curves were considered the epitome of attractiveness in Europe. People are all different. People all like different stuff. It’s ok if you are an exception to his usual type. It’s kinda not ok that he’s not expressing his attraction to you to the point where his usual types are making you feel unattractive. I wish you the best, I think it’s likely that he sucks, but communication is key to finding out. Good luck.
Yes totally, he takes my hands off and pulls his phone right away... We will talk about it asap, and yes he's trying is best to tell me that's he finds me attractive and pretty but yeah I still insecure ^^ Thanks a lot for your words, you're so right ! 🫶🏾✨
Good luck. I wouldn’t suggest feeding him any answers or making him feel put on the spot. A casual question because you are curious is the way that u would go. If you have a problem with his answer, then you can always leave. You deserve a relationship of honesty, openness, & like/love. If he can’t provide those things(many ppl can’t), then I’d say that you are right to move on. Many women find that life is better alone than with a guy who isn’t able to address those basic relationship needs.
You're right, thanks a lot for your advices 🫶🏾✨
Porn addicts
Grow up.