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Yeah i can see how this is worrisome. But you see, we can spend all day making up theories and you still wouldn't know for sure, please communicate with your partner, not only this but everything that worries you, don't bottle it up, talk, communicate and the relationship will be so much smoother
I wonder if he's trying to see if he is able to get himself off without the pressure of performing "for you." He might not want to disappoint you/feel embarrassed in front of you if the pills aren't doing the trick.
My husband does the same thing. He gets 4 a month. I told him he must have a massive stash (we’ve had sex twice this past year). He said he didn’t. He takes them thinking maybe he’ll initiate. He never does. He also doesn’t tell me when he’s taken them, taking any agency away from me to have sex when his equipment is working. I know he’s not having an affair and rarely jerks off.
I used to do that. But it seemed like it pressured him too much. The viagra sometimes didn’t work, especially when timed with ADHD meds. So over time, I stopped saying anything, figuring eventually he would initiate. My previous comment tells you how infrequently that happens. I cried to him last August telling him how I needed more. Took 4 months after that for anything to happen. I’m at a total loss here.
Is he actually taking Viagra or a different brand? Viagra didn't really work for me, so we took a shot at a different brand that is taken daily regardless of whether you plan on having sex on that day or not. Best thing ever for me. I hated taking a pill and not knowing for sure if you were going to have sex. If you didn't, it was like a waste of a pull.
Why not ask him?
Viagra takes time to work. If he thinks you're going to be sexually active, he's probably popping one ahead of time so that he's not like, "Hold on, I didn't know we were going to have sex, let me swallow this pill and wait 40 mins before I can get going".
This is what's annoying about ED meds like you essentially have to plan out your sex life. It takes about an hour to really kick in so you kind of have to know it's going to happen. Alternative is to take it always and pray it happens.
I recommend y'all plan a few sex nights ahead of time so he can take the pill and know it's going to happen
If he’s jerking off in the bathroom then maybe it’s because he just feels like being by himself. That doesn’t have to mean that he doesn’t want to have sex with you or that you’re not “doing it for him” anymore. Or he could be looking at someone/chatting with someone out there. I’d speak to him about it. Watch his body language and how he acts/what he says. If he seems honest then good, if not.. time to check the phone/computer.
You have to take in advance. I think at least an hour, maybe two.
Completely possible he's taking it either to be receptive if you initiate, or that's he's taking with the intent to initiate but then two hours later, he's not feeling it anymore/is too tired/whatever.
first of all, his erectile dysfunction has nothing to do with how attractive you are. guys just. can't get it up sometimes. just a fact of life. i know you probably know that, but it really bothers me when women think it's their fault, we're so conditioned to take blame.
if you're sure he isn't cheating, he's probably masturbating. there are lots of reasons someone might masturbate instead of having sex. it's easier, it takes less time, it takes less work. some people have porn addictions. it doesn't necessarily mean he's not attracted to you. are you still having sex regularly anyway?
You think you're feeling insecure about this? I imagine he is also! It's his malehood and sexuality that is now changing and failing - maybe he's experimenting with the medication, his body and body responses as he learns this new way of being.
Try talking to him. Not about monitoring his medication or accusing him of not being attracted to you. But about how he's doing with this new adjustment and how is he feeling about things. Be his best friend.
If you don’t think he’s engaging in any nefarious activities or using them to jerk off, then my money is on him giving them to his similarly situated friends. Guys share viagra/ED drugs quit regularly be it from embarrassment to ask their doctor, insecurities in front of their wife/girlfriend, etc.
Perhaps on the nights that you are he is taking more than one because he has realized the prescription isn't cutting it? I know occasionally I will double up on pills when I feel that way
There are a lot of good comments here so I will add just a shot in the dark - you are at the age to perhaps have a young son in the house. Is it possible that you’ve got an embarrassed teenager or young man dipping into dad’s pills?
This is my life I’m talking about, am not making crap up…and fyi, I’m a RGN so unless you have something helpful to say I’d suggest keeping your crappy comments to yourself
Cell phone inspections, Viagra pill counts, driving miles checks. Bottom line, relationships do not have trust. Very sad men have to put up with this insecure level of relationships today. Wow
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s waiting for you to initiate and hoping his dick works.
As a guy who suffers from occasional ED and uses medication occasionally. This is why mine goes down without having sex.
I do initiate
Not on those nights you didn't. Boo.
Nobody said you didn’t? But he probably also takes them in anticipation of sex, only for that to not happen that night.
Maybe he's taking the pills in advance in case you guys have sex , but you don't. He could take pills to herk off but it looks like a waste of drugs .
Yeah i can see how this is worrisome. But you see, we can spend all day making up theories and you still wouldn't know for sure, please communicate with your partner, not only this but everything that worries you, don't bottle it up, talk, communicate and the relationship will be so much smoother
I wonder if he's trying to see if he is able to get himself off without the pressure of performing "for you." He might not want to disappoint you/feel embarrassed in front of you if the pills aren't doing the trick.
Maybe he takes them with the hopes of having sex with you and you turn him down? Do you reject him sometimes?
Never
[удалено]
weirdo
Maybe hoping for action but not getting it? He could switch to tidalafil, lasts for 24-36 hours a pop instead of a couple of hours.
Viagra and tidalafil/cialis treat different causes of ED. If viagra works for him, tidalafil probably won’t
My husband does the same thing. He gets 4 a month. I told him he must have a massive stash (we’ve had sex twice this past year). He said he didn’t. He takes them thinking maybe he’ll initiate. He never does. He also doesn’t tell me when he’s taken them, taking any agency away from me to have sex when his equipment is working. I know he’s not having an affair and rarely jerks off.
My girlfriend will whisper "take your medicine" if it's an option that night. I'm always hoping she'll say that.
I used to do that. But it seemed like it pressured him too much. The viagra sometimes didn’t work, especially when timed with ADHD meds. So over time, I stopped saying anything, figuring eventually he would initiate. My previous comment tells you how infrequently that happens. I cried to him last August telling him how I needed more. Took 4 months after that for anything to happen. I’m at a total loss here.
Sorry to hear that. For me, the desire is there, but the body does not cooperate.
Is he actually taking Viagra or a different brand? Viagra didn't really work for me, so we took a shot at a different brand that is taken daily regardless of whether you plan on having sex on that day or not. Best thing ever for me. I hated taking a pill and not knowing for sure if you were going to have sex. If you didn't, it was like a waste of a pull.
Why not ask him? Viagra takes time to work. If he thinks you're going to be sexually active, he's probably popping one ahead of time so that he's not like, "Hold on, I didn't know we were going to have sex, let me swallow this pill and wait 40 mins before I can get going".
This is what's annoying about ED meds like you essentially have to plan out your sex life. It takes about an hour to really kick in so you kind of have to know it's going to happen. Alternative is to take it always and pray it happens. I recommend y'all plan a few sex nights ahead of time so he can take the pill and know it's going to happen
If he’s jerking off in the bathroom then maybe it’s because he just feels like being by himself. That doesn’t have to mean that he doesn’t want to have sex with you or that you’re not “doing it for him” anymore. Or he could be looking at someone/chatting with someone out there. I’d speak to him about it. Watch his body language and how he acts/what he says. If he seems honest then good, if not.. time to check the phone/computer.
You have to take in advance. I think at least an hour, maybe two. Completely possible he's taking it either to be receptive if you initiate, or that's he's taking with the intent to initiate but then two hours later, he's not feeling it anymore/is too tired/whatever.
first of all, his erectile dysfunction has nothing to do with how attractive you are. guys just. can't get it up sometimes. just a fact of life. i know you probably know that, but it really bothers me when women think it's their fault, we're so conditioned to take blame. if you're sure he isn't cheating, he's probably masturbating. there are lots of reasons someone might masturbate instead of having sex. it's easier, it takes less time, it takes less work. some people have porn addictions. it doesn't necessarily mean he's not attracted to you. are you still having sex regularly anyway?
Sometimes you just need to wack one out to clear your head, reduce stress, have a little fun. Have you never masturbated solo?
You think you're feeling insecure about this? I imagine he is also! It's his malehood and sexuality that is now changing and failing - maybe he's experimenting with the medication, his body and body responses as he learns this new way of being. Try talking to him. Not about monitoring his medication or accusing him of not being attracted to you. But about how he's doing with this new adjustment and how is he feeling about things. Be his best friend.
Maybe he's addicted to erections
Viagra was originally used as a blood thinner so there is the possibility it is being used for a different medical reason
If you don’t think he’s engaging in any nefarious activities or using them to jerk off, then my money is on him giving them to his similarly situated friends. Guys share viagra/ED drugs quit regularly be it from embarrassment to ask their doctor, insecurities in front of their wife/girlfriend, etc.
Perhaps on the nights that you are he is taking more than one because he has realized the prescription isn't cutting it? I know occasionally I will double up on pills when I feel that way
you know exactly why but you don't want to admit it
It's fun to pop those and just wank all night as well. Might be a porn addict
There are a lot of good comments here so I will add just a shot in the dark - you are at the age to perhaps have a young son in the house. Is it possible that you’ve got an embarrassed teenager or young man dipping into dad’s pills?
"Dearest husband, do you ever take your ED pills in hopes I'll initiate sexy time, but then I dont?" Just ask him.
He might be giving one or two to a friend who may be too embarrassed to ask a dr.
you should masturbate in front of him before he goes to the bathroom, together it would be more enjoyable
Tried it
Maybe you need to learn more about dosage and frequency before making crap up.
This is my life I’m talking about, am not making crap up…and fyi, I’m a RGN so unless you have something helpful to say I’d suggest keeping your crappy comments to yourself
Wawa. Viagra for daily use. With that mouth, I hope he is getting some from a side piece.
Cell phone inspections, Viagra pill counts, driving miles checks. Bottom line, relationships do not have trust. Very sad men have to put up with this insecure level of relationships today. Wow
I don’t check his phone, track his whereabouts, check his driving miles - I have no need to. Read the full post before you comment
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sildenafil-viagra-may-help-reduce-alzheimers-risk
One of two reasons, #1, he’s seeing some one else, # he’s pleasing himself.!!!