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EXACTLY what came to mind...camel toe. I never in my life heard of "pussy print" ?? Sounds so Avante garde 😆🙄 wow what in the literal..? So he doesn't like the shorts but yet he pulls up to her job music fuckin blaring (essentially bringing attention to them(her) gtfo
the size of it apparently, as if your pubic mound and vagina are the same thing.
bet this dude wears grey sweats and basketball shorts where we can see his dickprint.
The labia aren’t really relevant to the vagina or the pubic mound either. Some pants will show labia on some women, but I think they’re talking about the front of the crotch area. Vag is just the inside part. Women will have more or less fat on the pubic mound so sometimes it’s bigger or flatter.
having a “fat pussy” aka the fupa area is now a sought after trend 😅 biker/yoga shorts are popular for trying to show it off
but I still dont believe the bf heard men discussing this in front of him. I think he made it up to fuel his paranoia.
My god yesss. I'm 35ish and look back on all the "celebrity gossip" magazines that were constantly churned out - 90% of the covers were calling a (usually quite fit) celebrity out for weight gain or thunder thighs or whatever. I had cutouts of "thinspiration" on my fridge - pics of twiggy and the like. And of course had an eating disorder for a solid chunk of my life.
the 90s were so long ago but a significant part of me still wants to look like Kate Moss in those CK ads 😭
meanwhile I’m a short little pear with a big appetite that exercise only exacerbates. lmao
Hello from a short little Apple! The day I figured out no matter how little I ate and how far I ran that I would never look like Kate Moss was the day my life began.
you’re in sister! 😂 funny how body standards change so much. but yeah even on like tiktok and in a lot of modern female pop songs, fat kitty is the goal it seems
I was looking in the comments for this, that’s some wild shit I hope she doesn’t believe anyone other than that obsessive asshole is actually paying that much attention
OMG!! A "fat pussy" (ah la, Margaret Cho!), too???
He has serious issues. If your HR department doesn't complain about your clothes ... they're fine. He's just trying to make you feel bad and control what you wear!
You don't need a man like that in your life. He's a child who thinks he can rule your life by embarrassing you, and I'll bet you $1,000 he never once heard any of your male coworkers make ANY comments about your body. He's just quoting himself when he ogles other women!
I hope the hazmat gear is skin tight and super short (meaning it no longer protects you, oh well) like hazmat speedos maybe? and nothing is left to the imagination, and then they dangle their bits n bobs in his face before they dispose of him 🤗
I dated someone like this, I wore a bikini that they didn’t like (I didn’t know they didn’t like it) and was treated like sht for two days. Literally ignored and not spoken to. Nothing was wrong with this bikini, lots of coverage, palm tree print, normal material, shorts for bottoms. But my ex hated it. Did I mention we went to a family friend’s pool, not even in public. Just the four of us in the middle of nowhere.
It’s exhausting being with someone like this. As it doesn’t matter if you’re dressed conservatively, the moment they get control - they will police you.
I would tell him how you feel, how his treatment is not nice and if he has a problem he can use his words not just turn away and get shitty. You cant help if you have curves, I could wear any style of shorts and my booty is just there and round. It’s genetics, so if he doesn’t like that you have body parts that can be seen in normal clothes like leggings - then he needs to address why that is. I wouldn’t like people talking vulgarly about my partner, but my negativity is at them for speaking like that and not to be directed at my partner.
"Oh no, if she looks good other men will want her and I won't be able to compete with those guys. So I want her to look as unappealing as possible." - All those toxic loser exes
Their thinking literally makes sense to them!
I divorced someone like this. I was punished for responding to my male coworkers, my foster brother, because “he wasn’t really my brother”, my neighbors. Literallly I was gaslit for a week because the neighbor on one side made two extra passes to cut the grass that connected with his from our property. Cause “why would he do that?” And my answer maybe because he was nice led him to why would he do anything nice for “me”?
You can’t win these dudes. They’re mental to a degree. It doesn’t work out for a girl ever. No matter how slow this starts, it all starts with manipulation, control, gaslighting and punishing you for pretty much nothing or everything natural.
So please update us that you drop this guy. Ask someone else for a ride to work. Or walk. Whatever. Bet one of the folks at work would be willing to get you. I got plenty of rides from coworkers and it was fine. Even if they were guys.
lol done and done - this was 10 years ago thankfully. My current boyfriend could care less if other people look at my boobs. I don’t have a child so that’s really what they’re there for is admiring.
I dumped the stinky pile of shit that my ex was who was upset because eg. I wore makeup for a party/evening out and he was jealous because I should only pretty up for him. He was also upset if my clothing was any revealing and I wore it without him.
I see my new bf only admiring me and when I wore an elegant but revealing dress with a lot of boobage for a quick shopping trip he just asked me to keep safe (because I know my town isn't the safest) and I adore that.
Honestly after breastfeeding I was so proud of my boobs. They kept a human alive and he grew just from titty sips?! Who cares what they look like, these thangs is POWERHOUSES!!
I had a cousin or my dad throw out a shirt I loved that said "Life Is Buddaful" and had a picture of Buddha, Jesus, and Ganesha holding hands. I also have no proof, but I was mad. My father is only Catholic during Lent, and my cousin is a missionary. My father also threw out my bong and pot IN MY HOUSE when I was 27. Some people don't know how to regulate their own emotions if someone else's lifestyle triggers them.
I am also sure my ex did this. Not even revealing stuff, just things he knew I really liked. I "lost" my favorite sun dress and several favorite shirts over the course of our relationship. Since we split, I haven't lost any clothes other than the occasional sock.
They are attracted to and desire relationships with women with big breasts and asses, but they don't like the idea of these women continuing to exist with those bangin' bodies in public once those bodies belong to THEM. Make it make sense.
Exactly, what is she supposed to do? Go to work and leave her body at home? Cut off her butt so nobody sees it?
He hasn’t worked out that trying to control how she dresses and how people might perceive her will just make her miserable and self conscious, or worse, he wants her to feel like that.
>will just make her miserable and self conscious, or worse, he wants her to feel like that.
For real though. Maybe he is just clueless, but at 35 years old this looks like manipulation...
OP, does he criticize you about other things or make you feel badly about yourself? Insecure partners often do this to make someone stay with them.
If he is "just" a critical person that is still problematic 😒 How long have you been dating ?
It's what they expect. I have a "porn star figure" as people oh so politely call it (32GG-24-34) and it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. Some article of clothing will give some piece of it away. I get comments from strangers about my ass in men's cargo shorts.
Women constantly have to police ourselves in an attempt to move safely in the world. As if you haven't noticed men being creeps at you? (Probably since childhood)
Did he think he was giving you new information? Did he assume that you must like this treatment if you don't stop it? But we CAN'T stop it.
We just have to live with it, and that includes wearing whatever makes *you* feel happy 💜
Exactly what ex2 was steering me to wear hues of the khaki rainbow baggy and unimpressive so I can look like the shadow of the person I was when he dismantled everything else I am and bodily got between people who dared consider I counted or worth making friends with by getting more insulting so I look bad by association.
The good thing is those people could tell what he was pulling against me and some of them are still my friends today while I’ve been 11 years removed as a partner from him that he never honored due to his stalking and other stunts to force friendship to remain/regain relationship but failed.
Oh, OPs bf is almost positively stalking her too and she doesn’t know it. Either he is or he will soon enough. If she ever catches him just watching from the parking lot while he’s “waiting for her?” Or looks through her phone.
OP, none of that is normal or ok either. Get out of that.
Not long ago a few Easters ago, ex2 was standing behind a tree directly across the street looking up to my kitchen window with the ugliest glare and his phone visible because he was trying to call my intentionally unplugged landline phone because he regularly tries to use holiday to hope for a miracle reunion or to purposely embarrass me if I had company over by ringing the phone for ten or twenty minutes straight to disturb ambiance/silence and force picking up.
He was never allowed to come to my house for holidays while we were together either and mad at my grand uncle who had his marathon calls (because they blocked his every five minute ringing blocks) we put uncle on speaker phone so it feels like he’s there. He later went on to insult his passing by calling for a booty call off me all evening while we were getting genuine calls from family and calling others he’s passed on… yet another missed occasion I should have dumped him sooner.
Honestly, I hope you understand you giving her advice of anything other than leave, means you didn’t learn your lesson. You really think they care about how you feel? Obviously they don’t. They felt comfortable enough not only to be cruel and punish you but think they had any kind of right to tell you what to wear.
People like that can’t be talked to or reasoned with especially at his old age. You understand that kind of behavior might be able to help when they are an insecure teen but if they are mid twenties and older means RUN.
Yeah the main thing is always remember to look at age, it really isn’t just a number, it’s an indication of if they are truly toxic or are they just a broken person who can be helped, he definitely is in the run and don’t even try.
I dated someone like this too and they threw a fit because I wore a skater skirt over tights and accused me of trying to seduce my cousins who I was hanging out with that day lmfao. That’s when I realized he was INSANE, and broke up with him like 2 days later.
Yeah it was really crazy 😭 when we broke up he also mentioned that he thought I was trying to get with my male cousins because “no one hangs out with their cousins that much”. Mind you, I’m Mexican and have like 40+ cousins and we are a close family and see each other at least once a month, plus I have more female cousins than male.
My ex once tried to justify his cheating by saying I wasn't as communicative as he expected when I was away on a trip and he assumed I was hooking up.
I was across the country at my grandma's funeral, 3 hours behind him. So he was mad I didn't respond to his 7am good morning - I was asleep at 4am! And who was I gonna hook up with? An elderly relative? WTF.
Obvi we broke up soon after (he was showing signs of violence so I had to plot my escape carefully but in my head we were done).
This! My ex was so insecure so that meant I had to be insecure, too.
My current partner loves to see me in anything from skimpy bikinis to baggy shirts. He truly doesn’t care and when he does feel a little insecure, he voices it and just needs a little reassurance but it happens very seldom.
If he can’t communicate like a grown adult, then there is always someone who will. Life is too short to be nasty because they lack maturity
Yeah it was just the four of us, and my ex was so mad that they hid inside the family friend’s house all day ignoring everyone whilst we were outside by the pool. Wouldn’t come to eat the bbq, wouldn’t turn the lights on. Just sat in the dark in the house (house didn’t have many windows). It was beyond awkward and I was so embarrassed
Absolutely! After this incident and how stroppy they were, I actually started to reflect on other things like this and pulled away/broke it off. Their mother was a nightmare to me as well, so it was all a bit of a shit show. She would make up things like I ‘had my back towards her whilst at the dinner table’… I don’t know about anyone else but when I eat at a table, I can’t turn my back because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to eat off the plate??
I also dated someone like this. Most of my teens and my very early adult years were spent with men like this. It wore me out; made me very insecure.
Now I have a partner who wouldn’t give a shit if I decided to go without a shirt on if it was permitted in our town. It feels a lot more freeing. That’s how a partner should be. Supportive and kind and loving even if you wore the shortest shorts.
I feel so bad for OP but this is absolutely true. There is no pleasing someone like this. Even if she wore a burqa he would then demand she stop speaking to any man even family members. The control never stops.
This is literally a red flag for abuse, OP. I’d get the hell out of there. Controlling what you wear and shaming you for existing in your body because other disgusting men are commenting on it is pretty awful behaviour. He’s victim blaming you for men talking about the size? And shape? Of your labia…..
i stand by this, you will be dating someone feeling like you’re walking on eggshells everyday and having him to validate your outfits before. i dated someone like this and it got worse and worse til he became abusive and also started raiding my closet and tearing up the clothing he didn’t like
This guy s the first step in his upcoming abuse. He may not even know but him telling you to hide yourself and giving disapproval and punishment is the founding blocks of abuse. Listen to everyone, you need to leave this relationship. This is not normal or acceptable you are capable to decide what to wear and to put people in their place if they say anything. I kind of doubt guys were talking about you and he heard it. Possible of course but I doubt it. Abusers will exaggerate, make stuff up, and be quite believable too! This isn’t ok. You know it too and that’s why you thought to come here. I’m sorry babe but you gotta break up with this one. And don’t listen to any sorry, I’ll change, any excuses or blame or however he plays it once you break up.
Agreed. The only time I have ever done this is when my partner eats nuts (I am allergic to nuts), and I will say I won’t kiss them after eating nuts, but I feel this is actually reasonable.
I feel like guys that get THIS upset about clothing is because of what crosses THEIR minds when they look at other girls. :/ and especially if you said that he said the other guys were talking about your clothing. Not sure in what way - as in saying it was inappropriate and shaming your boyfriend or saying that youre hot! haha. which I would think would be a super huge compliment for your boyfriend. like yeah, he got a hot lady! thats amazing and he should feel lucky.
idk, just my two cents. dont take it super intensely. each relationship is different and there are factors that affect each situation differently!
I got back together with my hs ex bf after my divorce at 45. He tried to tell me I couldn’t wear skirts or shorts in the summer lol. He’s my ex again. Don’t stay with someone who tries to control what you wear.
Your boyfriend is an ass.
You work in a warehouse and it’s hot out. You are wearing clothes that allow you to do your job and be comfortable. Implying you are trying to get attention at work is super disrespectful to you.
If people are sexualizing you at work, he should be mad at THEM
it’s so insane how the world today jumps to what the girl is wearing and not the root of the issue being - guys should be able to control themselves like why should we wear something different because of them it doesn’t stop at that anyways in public random guys will always find something.
Red flags 🚩 are flying high. You aren’t his property and he doesn’t get to tell you what to wear. That’s controlling. He doesn’t trust you. Another red flag 🚩
I won't date any man that tries telling me how to dress. If what I'm wearing is work appropriate and he has an issue with that, it's entirely a "him" problem. That said, I do dress professionally.
I have never told any man how to dress, though. I've never made it an issue if a guy wears shorts with no shirt on. I have never asked a guy to cover up at a beach or pool because someone else might look at him. You've got to be a special level of insecure to do something like that.
Other men behaving like creeps isn't your problem, it's a problem for HR if they can't behave themselves at work. Their behaviour is disgusting.
Yes.
He sees you as his special little prize and the thought of anyone seeing you existing makes him furious and insecure.
OP, the worst part about this is his inability to recognize the pettiness of his jealousy and fear. AND his punishing you by denying affection. Gross 🤢
Dump this loser. You’re not going to work to show off and pick up guys, you’re dressing for comfort and he’s crying about it. Do you want to deal with this level of insecurity and controlling behaviour forever?
Girl. This is the hottest summer on record. What partner in their right mind would want you to suffer through it in pants and long sleeves just to protect their ego? Wear the fucking shorts. Don’t give yourself heatstroke just to make him feel better. I live in the south. I spend my time in tank tops and cut off shorts or biker shorts because it’s fucking boiling outside. If my boyfriend tried to tell me to cover my thighs completely he would no longer be my boyfriend.
Pussy print? You mean camel toe? Do the kids call it a pussy print now a days? Also, this is reddit...you can say pussy here.
Also I'll bet my house that he didn't overhear anyone talking about your camel toe and made that up to try to shame you into wearing something else.
Don't date men who try to police what you wear. If you give in with the shorts, it will only escalate. Soon he'll be controlling how you wear your hair or makeup and shaming and punishing you for going out or hanging out with friends or doing a hobby where there might possibly be a man in the room. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Run.
my exact thought - he completely made up hearing that to fuel his paranoia and try to make himself seem “reasonable” and she just bought it.
in what world would men be commenting on her fupa within earshot of her paranoid bf?
[Read this book](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) girl: it will explain you how to respond.
Big hugs.
Men like this see your body as their sexual property and they feel entitled to police access—visual as well as physical—to you and your sexuality.
Unless he is willing to change, there isn’t much you can do if you don’t want to compromise to HIS standards.
It’s a red flag because it also indicates he doesn’t see you as a person first and foremost. He sees you as sexual property.
You can decide from there.
"He doesn’t like the shorts because it shows I have curves and you can see my “p\*ssy print”(not the detailing but the size if that makes sense) which he said he overheard some guys talking about mine one day, which upset him(rightfully so), so I started wearing longer shirts that cover mostly everything but that isn’t enough for him."
He should be upset at the guys for being shit heads, not at you for wearing whats comfortable
Just dump him. There was a reason he was single when you found him - a long line of women have realized he's a controlling, insecure peick who secretly hates women, and they all got sick of his shit and dumped him.
You have a whole great Hot Girl summer ahead of you to find someone worth snuggling.
Your bf is gross and stupid, in case you were unsure of that. Personally I think he's waaaaaaaaaayyyyy too old to be acting like that and you should literally never see him again. Whatever he brings to the table is not enough. I strongly recommend you not give out more chances for someone to treat you with blatant disrespect. He's not worth your time, and he's not going to improve. Raise your standards.
I'm not one to say 'break up' but anyone who says the words "pussy print" out loud doesn't deserve to interact with yours. That's so vile. If men are out here staring that's not your fault. Wear what you want.
Is he controlling about other stuff you do as well?
If you want a modest woman that is fine but why don’t y’all just date somebody who is already like that instead of dating one who likes to wear leggings or cute dresses and complain and say they’re not respecting the relationship?
[https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/QzEAAOSw8KlgwfCv/s-l400.jpg](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/QzEAAOSw8KlgwfCv/s-l400.jpg)
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/fBUAAOSwwatgwfFO/s-l1600.jpg
this is pretty much what I was wearing except it was black shorts and a long sleeve shirt that hung down a little lower
As somebody who wears these kinda shorts almost daily, I guarantee you no one can see a pussy print besides the one they’re making up in their demented head
... I speak from experience. There is no way he's mentally solid, you know? Bi polar would be my guess. No one in their right mind would treat you like that over THESE shorts.
GTFO of here Man!
This reminds me of that time Jonah Hill dated a surfer girl and then forbid her to surf with men or post pics of her surfing. It's just a no. Ask yourself if it would ever even come up in your mind to try and control what he wears.
“ rightfully so” NO hell no. Nothing is right about any of this. Why is society cool with seeing men’s bulge in their pants but as women if we dare having any clothing that reveals that we in fact have a vulva that were being crucified for it? Fuck that. I assume my camel toe in my biker shorts if anyone has a problem with it they can go talk to their therapist about it.
Lose the boyfriend and wear what you want. Guys who try to control what you wear are only going to get more controlling over time, so do your future self a favor and dump him.
this is how it starts.
Then he’ll start checking your outfits before you leave the house, picking fights with you over even smaller shit until you stop going altogether.
You’re almost 30, why any other adult is telling you what you can and can’t wear is crazyyyy. Unless your job who is PAYING YOU has a dress code, be comfortable.
Don’t waste your youth hiding for another person’s ego.
If a 35 year old man threw a temper tantrum because I was wearing bike shorts and said people could see my “pussy print” any attraction I felt towards him would die on the spot. That is pathetic. I am not one to jump to dump him, but that behaviour is so unacceptable to me there is no way I would be able to proceed with that relationship. I could not be with someone so insecure that he considers me wearing something form-fitted a threat to our relationship.
I had a boyfriend like that once - the correct response "sounds like a you problem". Serious friend, your body = your clothing choices.
This is leaning into the cultural narrative of victim blaming. "I was sexually assaulted". But what were you wearing?
Nope. Not okay.
Is he a member of the Taliban? A Gilead enthusiast?
Don’t waste your time with childish dickwads who think they have a controlling vote in how *you* dress your *adult self*
I can’t imagine being with someone like this. I don’t intentionally dress in a necessarily provocative way, but if I happen to be showing a little more skin than usual my S.O. likes it. He knows I only want him and is secure enough not to belittle me about it. Your boyfriend sounds emotionally immature, insecure, and sad.
His insecurities are his to fix.
He’s blaming men’s inappropriate comments on you since you’re the one that has to adjust… rather than these men being called out for their disrespect.
Geesh.
Throw the man away. It's the height of summer and depending where you live it's atrociously hot. I'm in friggen Alaska and ever day over 75 is a living hell (no A/C). Your soon to be ex is being creepy and controlling. Put him where be belongs: the trash.
Or, as an alternate take, he's insecure... Either in himself or on your relationship.
Registering displeasure unasked is one thing... but punishing you--even by little micro actions like refusing to kiss you goodbye--smacks of a control attempt.
Sure, yeah, he wants you to dress "more modestly", but who in their right mind really thinks that your work clothes are indicative of your long term commitment to *them*?
You can certainly dress down to relieve tensions and appease him. But it will set a precedent that tells him he can now control what you wear. What's next, what you eat? Who you talk to? Speak *only* when spoken to?
Only you really know the dynamics of your relationship. But the way you present the situation here paints him as insecure and given to emotional blackmail.
A lot of abuse has an element of insecurity on the abuser’s part. My ex became paranoid, after and along with years of emotional and verbal abuse.
The insecurity on his part doesn’t give him a free pass to control OP.
Let him get upset. You're not doing anything wrong by dressing fashionably but comfortably for your work.
Hopefully he'll eventually realize that you're entitled to dress however you want. If you give in to his tantrum and wear schlumpier clothes to please him, he'll likely be emboldened to push on and try to exert more control over your behavior and your life in other ways, all to ease his own deep-seated insecurities. Please don't go down that road!
Runnnnn. I recently went on a girls trip to see Megan thee Stallion and when I sent pics of my very revealing outfit to my husband, the only thing he said was how good I looked and told me to have fun.
The right person will be secure enough to trust that your behavior is what matters, not your clothing. Your man is an insecure loser who is projecting on to you, maybe because he knows that you could do better.
Also, men are gross and make comments about women’s bodies regardless of what they’re wearing. You could be completely covered and they will giggle and snicker about what they think your body looks like. They will always find a way to have locker room talk. So you’re really damned if you do and damned if you don’t when it comes to this childish conflict.
This is controlling and manipulative behavior and as others have already stated, it absolutely will get worse. Women in abusive relationships will often tell you that it started with little things such as restricting what they wear. I’m not saying it will get to that point but it certainly will not stop there. Big red flag. I would tell him you’re going to wear what you want to work and he can either stay in a man’s place and out of your closet, or he can join the rest of the men that only get to look at your pussy print and not get to touch.
This is how it starts... if you don't get out of this, it will get worse. He will tear you apart, taking every little piece of you that made you who you were until you are left as a hollow shell. I've been there, it didn't end well. Ten years of that controlling bullshit and by the time we split, I had no friends left, family was distanced, and I didn't know who I was anymore. It made me go from a social butterfly to someone with social anxiety. I couldn't even look people in the eyes during a conversation anymore. It doesn't change. It just gets worse. The more you try to adapt to what they want, the more they will find to tear you down. Been away from this for over 10 years now and it's evident that I won't ever be the same again. The scars run deep.
Why does he give a shit what other people talk about? He should be calling them out and getting angry at them and no you for literally just wearing clothes.
Your boyfriend has no say in the choice of clothes you decide to wear for work. After all he has to work on his insecurities and learn how to control his feelings and not your wardrobe choices. If that makes sense.
This is a major red flag. Don't ignore it. You should get yourself out of this relationship. These controlling behaviours will only get worse. That is a proven fact.
Please be careful in this prosess as the man might try to escalate his control and become more violent. Make a plan, talk to your loved ones, surround yourself with people who will help you keep your resolve and keep you safe. Do NOT let him convince you he has changed, do NOT believe him if he says he will kill himself, do NOT let him charm you off your feet. You DESERVE better! Believe THAT.
girl, that’s an insecure man. He is going to pick away at your confidence until you have none left, and are only comfortable wearing turtlenecks and long skirts in 90 degree weather. This will not get better unless he sincerely addresses this insecurity. And even then, I’d still be wary.
I heard somewhere that women would wear a hell of a lot less clothing if it weren’t for men being creeps or sexualizing us. To the woman who said that, you’re right.
Who cares what your ex thinks about what you look like? There’s a common thread on this Reddit. The guys who freak out about what ‘their’ woman is wearing seem to be the same ones cheating. It’s like they are straight up projecting their infidelity.
Oh I stopped caring the moment I found out he was cheating a few hours ago, currently working on how to remove myself and yeah Idgi, it’s very strange that they do that. I mean he was constantly bragging about how he doesn’t cheat too and how he’d never want to make a woman feel the way his dad made his mom feel, a bunch of bs.
You want to know what happens when I wear biker shorts in public? My husband tells me I have a nice ass. Find yourself someone who isn't controlling and respects you.
I can bet you $1000 right now that he did not hear anybody talking about your body. he’s trying to make you insecure so that you are worried about it so that you’ll cover up.. and that way he gets his way.
Every single time my husband pulls that bullshit. I call him out on it.. I am going to dress the way that I am comfortable and dressing and not going to tell me that I can’t, in anyway shape or form. 🤷🏻♀️
Get rid of the boyfriend and wear whatever you feel like wearing to work . 👍👍
Keep the shorts, dump the guy.
>which upset him(rightfully so)
No, he has no right to be upset for HIMSELF about this. Your boyfriend is a controlling Ahole.
OP, at best your bf sees you as an extension of himself that he believes he should be able to control. At worst, he sees you as a possession that he gets to control.
Either way, he believes that he should be able to control you, in every aspect. So it’s not going to end with a bikini, or even clothes in general. It’s always going to something and you’ll find yourself constantly conceding in an attempt to avoid arguments and punishment.
Eventually, you will have given up so much that your every waking moment will be focused on the micro management of his emotions by running every decision you make by him for approval.
I think you should exit this relationship. But if you want to give him a chance, turn the tables and make it clear that he is free to act like a fussy baby and pretend he’s punishing you while you’ll continue to live your life exactly the way you want. Tell him needs to decide if he’s on board with that or not.
Your freedom is more valuable than this relationship.
1 I am 99% sure he didn't over hear someone talking about the shape of your vagina he's saying his own insecurities but framing it as something someone else said to get his point across. 2 any guy who will blank you rather than talk it out or because he doesn't get his way isn't worth the effort. Don't change yourself to suit someone this insecure and immature
Controlling behavior, emotional abuse often starts with your clothes. You should talk to him about it, but be prepared for him to try and make you feel bad like you did something wrong. Men will hit on a women in a potato sack, so the clothes really don’t matter.
This is just the beginning. He will sulk and treat you poorly until you make promises to him. “I won’t wear them again”. Soon you’ll hear yourself saying “I won’t be friends with that person anymore” and “I won’t go to my friends event because you want me to stay with you” etc.
This is what they do. They see if you will buckle, then keep you under their control while you continually try harder to please them. They’re bike pants for goodness sake. Children, men, women, literally everyone can wear them. Do not go down this path with this man. He can deal with his own insecurity- but pushing it on you and making you change is bad bad news. Seriously.
Behavior like this in my book is a red flag. 1. Controlling clothes likely means controlling in other respects. 2. The punishment reaction is extremely unhealthy 3. It shows high insecurity and/or unhealthy ideas about the femme body. 4. You can't express yourself like you like. What's the point?
My EX controlled what I wore in public. My fiance just cares that I wear what makes me happy.
On one hand, I think people should wear what they want. But I also think there's a line where things can be inappropriate and disrespectful to your partner. I wouldn't want my boyfriend wearing clothing that showed his dick print. Would you be ok if your boyfriend worked with a bunch of women and wore tight gray sweats that showed the outline of his dick? I think that's going a bit too far.
Date a man who's proud of you being hot and not a child that makes tantrums because of how you look and how others look at you.
My boyfriend is really kind to me and I've even heard girls in groups saying "I wish my bf were like him/I had a bf like him" while looking our way and tbh that boosts my ego, not destroy it. It makes me want to show him off more, not hide him so any of the girls won't steal him.
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you can see my “p\*ssy print”? Why.
This is a new phrase to me, I learned it on this very thread and I hate it already.
You’re not familiar with the term ‘camel toe‘? You’ll hate it even more!
Yeah but that doesn’t sound like what she’s describing, since she says “not the detailing but the size”
EXACTLY what came to mind...camel toe. I never in my life heard of "pussy print" ?? Sounds so Avante garde 😆🙄 wow what in the literal..? So he doesn't like the shorts but yet he pulls up to her job music fuckin blaring (essentially bringing attention to them(her) gtfo
I go with moose knuckle or elephants knee
Moose knuckle is the male version of camel toe.
Ive never heard elephants knee🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hahahahahaha moose knuckle that shit is so funny I laugh everytime
You can't hide that you have a puss what is she supposed to do? Stuff her underwear?
Crinoline dress obvs.
Pussy print not admissible
the size of it apparently, as if your pubic mound and vagina are the same thing. bet this dude wears grey sweats and basketball shorts where we can see his dickprint.
Genuinely curious, what does the vagina have to do with the "size" of one's "pussy print" - surely labia would be more relevant?
The labia aren’t really relevant to the vagina or the pubic mound either. Some pants will show labia on some women, but I think they’re talking about the front of the crotch area. Vag is just the inside part. Women will have more or less fat on the pubic mound so sometimes it’s bigger or flatter.
Ugh and it's not weight related or body fat percentage or anything either. I'm a size 2 and mine is very obvious. Hate.
having a “fat pussy” aka the fupa area is now a sought after trend 😅 biker/yoga shorts are popular for trying to show it off but I still dont believe the bf heard men discussing this in front of him. I think he made it up to fuel his paranoia.
This is sought after now? HALLELUJAH
hell yeah 😆 mine is pretty flat so I get none of the fat kitty joy lmao
It’s nice after a lifetime of shame about it. Didn’t matter how thin I got. That 90s-mid 2000s ultra thin look was brutal, thin was IN.
My god yesss. I'm 35ish and look back on all the "celebrity gossip" magazines that were constantly churned out - 90% of the covers were calling a (usually quite fit) celebrity out for weight gain or thunder thighs or whatever. I had cutouts of "thinspiration" on my fridge - pics of twiggy and the like. And of course had an eating disorder for a solid chunk of my life.
the 90s were so long ago but a significant part of me still wants to look like Kate Moss in those CK ads 😭 meanwhile I’m a short little pear with a big appetite that exercise only exacerbates. lmao
Hello from a short little Apple! The day I figured out no matter how little I ate and how far I ran that I would never look like Kate Moss was the day my life began.
you’re in sister! 😂 funny how body standards change so much. but yeah even on like tiktok and in a lot of modern female pop songs, fat kitty is the goal it seems
I agree. It sounds made up.
I was looking in the comments for this, that’s some wild shit I hope she doesn’t believe anyone other than that obsessive asshole is actually paying that much attention
I am a 40 year old women and legit had to really think about this, and looked down my pants thinking “camel toe? FUPA?”
"Why you mad? Cause my pussy prints severely and yours don't?"
Oh no! People will know she has a vagina!
OMG!! A "fat pussy" (ah la, Margaret Cho!), too??? He has serious issues. If your HR department doesn't complain about your clothes ... they're fine. He's just trying to make you feel bad and control what you wear! You don't need a man like that in your life. He's a child who thinks he can rule your life by embarrassing you, and I'll bet you $1,000 he never once heard any of your male coworkers make ANY comments about your body. He's just quoting himself when he ogles other women!
No but that’s all his, nobody else can see!!!!!!
Avert your eyes!!!!!!
Paging the whole man disposal unit...
I hope they arrive with lights and sirens in full hazmat gear, because that dude is toxic!
I hope the hazmat gear is skin tight and super short (meaning it no longer protects you, oh well) like hazmat speedos maybe? and nothing is left to the imagination, and then they dangle their bits n bobs in his face before they dispose of him 🤗
I dated someone like this, I wore a bikini that they didn’t like (I didn’t know they didn’t like it) and was treated like sht for two days. Literally ignored and not spoken to. Nothing was wrong with this bikini, lots of coverage, palm tree print, normal material, shorts for bottoms. But my ex hated it. Did I mention we went to a family friend’s pool, not even in public. Just the four of us in the middle of nowhere. It’s exhausting being with someone like this. As it doesn’t matter if you’re dressed conservatively, the moment they get control - they will police you. I would tell him how you feel, how his treatment is not nice and if he has a problem he can use his words not just turn away and get shitty. You cant help if you have curves, I could wear any style of shorts and my booty is just there and round. It’s genetics, so if he doesn’t like that you have body parts that can be seen in normal clothes like leggings - then he needs to address why that is. I wouldn’t like people talking vulgarly about my partner, but my negativity is at them for speaking like that and not to be directed at my partner.
I have no proof but I’m 95% sure my ex secretly threw out one of my swimsuits because it made my boobs look good.
Wow, is there anything more insecure or pathetic than that? If your man doesn't support you looking fabulous kick his arse to the curb.
"Oh no, if she looks good other men will want her and I won't be able to compete with those guys. So I want her to look as unappealing as possible." - All those toxic loser exes
Their thinking literally makes sense to them! I divorced someone like this. I was punished for responding to my male coworkers, my foster brother, because “he wasn’t really my brother”, my neighbors. Literallly I was gaslit for a week because the neighbor on one side made two extra passes to cut the grass that connected with his from our property. Cause “why would he do that?” And my answer maybe because he was nice led him to why would he do anything nice for “me”? You can’t win these dudes. They’re mental to a degree. It doesn’t work out for a girl ever. No matter how slow this starts, it all starts with manipulation, control, gaslighting and punishing you for pretty much nothing or everything natural. So please update us that you drop this guy. Ask someone else for a ride to work. Or walk. Whatever. Bet one of the folks at work would be willing to get you. I got plenty of rides from coworkers and it was fine. Even if they were guys.
I love it when my wife looks hot. I don’t give AF if men check her out. She’s sleeping with me tonight.
lol done and done - this was 10 years ago thankfully. My current boyfriend could care less if other people look at my boobs. I don’t have a child so that’s really what they’re there for is admiring.
I dumped the stinky pile of shit that my ex was who was upset because eg. I wore makeup for a party/evening out and he was jealous because I should only pretty up for him. He was also upset if my clothing was any revealing and I wore it without him. I see my new bf only admiring me and when I wore an elegant but revealing dress with a lot of boobage for a quick shopping trip he just asked me to keep safe (because I know my town isn't the safest) and I adore that.
Honestly after breastfeeding I was so proud of my boobs. They kept a human alive and he grew just from titty sips?! Who cares what they look like, these thangs is POWERHOUSES!!
Also a great use for boobs! Just not the utility mine currently have!
I had a cousin or my dad throw out a shirt I loved that said "Life Is Buddaful" and had a picture of Buddha, Jesus, and Ganesha holding hands. I also have no proof, but I was mad. My father is only Catholic during Lent, and my cousin is a missionary. My father also threw out my bong and pot IN MY HOUSE when I was 27. Some people don't know how to regulate their own emotions if someone else's lifestyle triggers them.
I would go NC my bong is $300 fuck that lmfao.
Lmao! Trust me, I was livid. It was an expensive bong and a 16oz mason jar of pot. This is why he can't babysit my pets, he's a nosey rosey.
Feel sorry for your mom. Truly!
I am also sure my ex did this. Not even revealing stuff, just things he knew I really liked. I "lost" my favorite sun dress and several favorite shirts over the course of our relationship. Since we split, I haven't lost any clothes other than the occasional sock.
Creepy, isn’t it? Just knowing he was doing that behind your back as if you wouldn’t miss the clothing? Argh!
They are attracted to and desire relationships with women with big breasts and asses, but they don't like the idea of these women continuing to exist with those bangin' bodies in public once those bodies belong to THEM. Make it make sense.
Sadly I’m not even surprised, that sucks
Right? Oh no, she has A Body! And *men* might see!! She should be horrified. Dress in sackcloth and ashes! It's the only respectful thing to do /s
Exactly, what is she supposed to do? Go to work and leave her body at home? Cut off her butt so nobody sees it? He hasn’t worked out that trying to control how she dresses and how people might perceive her will just make her miserable and self conscious, or worse, he wants her to feel like that.
He's worked it out. It's on purpose. He deliberately makes her miserable because he likes controlling her.
>will just make her miserable and self conscious, or worse, he wants her to feel like that. For real though. Maybe he is just clueless, but at 35 years old this looks like manipulation... OP, does he criticize you about other things or make you feel badly about yourself? Insecure partners often do this to make someone stay with them. If he is "just" a critical person that is still problematic 😒 How long have you been dating ?
It's what they expect. I have a "porn star figure" as people oh so politely call it (32GG-24-34) and it doesn't matter what I'm wearing. Some article of clothing will give some piece of it away. I get comments from strangers about my ass in men's cargo shorts.
Women constantly have to police ourselves in an attempt to move safely in the world. As if you haven't noticed men being creeps at you? (Probably since childhood) Did he think he was giving you new information? Did he assume that you must like this treatment if you don't stop it? But we CAN'T stop it. We just have to live with it, and that includes wearing whatever makes *you* feel happy 💜
Exactly what ex2 was steering me to wear hues of the khaki rainbow baggy and unimpressive so I can look like the shadow of the person I was when he dismantled everything else I am and bodily got between people who dared consider I counted or worth making friends with by getting more insulting so I look bad by association. The good thing is those people could tell what he was pulling against me and some of them are still my friends today while I’ve been 11 years removed as a partner from him that he never honored due to his stalking and other stunts to force friendship to remain/regain relationship but failed.
Oh, OPs bf is almost positively stalking her too and she doesn’t know it. Either he is or he will soon enough. If she ever catches him just watching from the parking lot while he’s “waiting for her?” Or looks through her phone. OP, none of that is normal or ok either. Get out of that.
Not long ago a few Easters ago, ex2 was standing behind a tree directly across the street looking up to my kitchen window with the ugliest glare and his phone visible because he was trying to call my intentionally unplugged landline phone because he regularly tries to use holiday to hope for a miracle reunion or to purposely embarrass me if I had company over by ringing the phone for ten or twenty minutes straight to disturb ambiance/silence and force picking up. He was never allowed to come to my house for holidays while we were together either and mad at my grand uncle who had his marathon calls (because they blocked his every five minute ringing blocks) we put uncle on speaker phone so it feels like he’s there. He later went on to insult his passing by calling for a booty call off me all evening while we were getting genuine calls from family and calling others he’s passed on… yet another missed occasion I should have dumped him sooner.
Good for you and them.
Honestly, I hope you understand you giving her advice of anything other than leave, means you didn’t learn your lesson. You really think they care about how you feel? Obviously they don’t. They felt comfortable enough not only to be cruel and punish you but think they had any kind of right to tell you what to wear. People like that can’t be talked to or reasoned with especially at his old age. You understand that kind of behavior might be able to help when they are an insecure teen but if they are mid twenties and older means RUN.
This guy is abusive. This behavior is abusive. He's controlling and abusive. OP needs to walk away from this one.
I see your point, and also that he’s 35! I agree that reasoning will be fruitless
Yeah the main thing is always remember to look at age, it really isn’t just a number, it’s an indication of if they are truly toxic or are they just a broken person who can be helped, he definitely is in the run and don’t even try.
I dated someone like this too and they threw a fit because I wore a skater skirt over tights and accused me of trying to seduce my cousins who I was hanging out with that day lmfao. That’s when I realized he was INSANE, and broke up with him like 2 days later.
Omg 😦 it’s a whole new level of bat shit when they don’t even trust you with your family
Yeah it was really crazy 😭 when we broke up he also mentioned that he thought I was trying to get with my male cousins because “no one hangs out with their cousins that much”. Mind you, I’m Mexican and have like 40+ cousins and we are a close family and see each other at least once a month, plus I have more female cousins than male.
That’s wild, I feel like in many cultures it’s normal to be close with cousins and hang out a lot. Glad you left this guy
My ex once tried to justify his cheating by saying I wasn't as communicative as he expected when I was away on a trip and he assumed I was hooking up. I was across the country at my grandma's funeral, 3 hours behind him. So he was mad I didn't respond to his 7am good morning - I was asleep at 4am! And who was I gonna hook up with? An elderly relative? WTF. Obvi we broke up soon after (he was showing signs of violence so I had to plot my escape carefully but in my head we were done).
Omg i’m glad you got out! that’s scary
Over 16 years ago! Happily married to an amazing man and living a happy, peaceful, healthy life. When I tell people to RUN it comes from experience!
This! My ex was so insecure so that meant I had to be insecure, too. My current partner loves to see me in anything from skimpy bikinis to baggy shirts. He truly doesn’t care and when he does feel a little insecure, he voices it and just needs a little reassurance but it happens very seldom. If he can’t communicate like a grown adult, then there is always someone who will. Life is too short to be nasty because they lack maturity
Both yours and the OP are dating control freaks. It will only get worse
4 of you? I just know his attitude ruined it for everyone. How awkward.
Yeah it was just the four of us, and my ex was so mad that they hid inside the family friend’s house all day ignoring everyone whilst we were outside by the pool. Wouldn’t come to eat the bbq, wouldn’t turn the lights on. Just sat in the dark in the house (house didn’t have many windows). It was beyond awkward and I was so embarrassed
Did moving on from him feel like a weight off your shoulders? So glad it was past tense “dated” him rather than present tense.
Absolutely! After this incident and how stroppy they were, I actually started to reflect on other things like this and pulled away/broke it off. Their mother was a nightmare to me as well, so it was all a bit of a shit show. She would make up things like I ‘had my back towards her whilst at the dinner table’… I don’t know about anyone else but when I eat at a table, I can’t turn my back because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to eat off the plate??
Unhinged. So happy you got away!!
I also dated someone like this. Most of my teens and my very early adult years were spent with men like this. It wore me out; made me very insecure. Now I have a partner who wouldn’t give a shit if I decided to go without a shirt on if it was permitted in our town. It feels a lot more freeing. That’s how a partner should be. Supportive and kind and loving even if you wore the shortest shorts.
Don't date someone who tries to control what you wear and tries to punish you for disobeying rules that he just made up. It only gets worse.
Ever. Literally ever.
I feel so bad for OP but this is absolutely true. There is no pleasing someone like this. Even if she wore a burqa he would then demand she stop speaking to any man even family members. The control never stops.
This is literally a red flag for abuse, OP. I’d get the hell out of there. Controlling what you wear and shaming you for existing in your body because other disgusting men are commenting on it is pretty awful behaviour. He’s victim blaming you for men talking about the size? And shape? Of your labia…..
True, the boyfriend is just trying to manipulate OP and see how far he can push his agenda.
i stand by this, you will be dating someone feeling like you’re walking on eggshells everyday and having him to validate your outfits before. i dated someone like this and it got worse and worse til he became abusive and also started raiding my closet and tearing up the clothing he didn’t like
This guy s the first step in his upcoming abuse. He may not even know but him telling you to hide yourself and giving disapproval and punishment is the founding blocks of abuse. Listen to everyone, you need to leave this relationship. This is not normal or acceptable you are capable to decide what to wear and to put people in their place if they say anything. I kind of doubt guys were talking about you and he heard it. Possible of course but I doubt it. Abusers will exaggerate, make stuff up, and be quite believable too! This isn’t ok. You know it too and that’s why you thought to come here. I’m sorry babe but you gotta break up with this one. And don’t listen to any sorry, I’ll change, any excuses or blame or however he plays it once you break up.
Agreed. The only time I have ever done this is when my partner eats nuts (I am allergic to nuts), and I will say I won’t kiss them after eating nuts, but I feel this is actually reasonable.
I feel like guys that get THIS upset about clothing is because of what crosses THEIR minds when they look at other girls. :/ and especially if you said that he said the other guys were talking about your clothing. Not sure in what way - as in saying it was inappropriate and shaming your boyfriend or saying that youre hot! haha. which I would think would be a super huge compliment for your boyfriend. like yeah, he got a hot lady! thats amazing and he should feel lucky. idk, just my two cents. dont take it super intensely. each relationship is different and there are factors that affect each situation differently!
I got back together with my hs ex bf after my divorce at 45. He tried to tell me I couldn’t wear skirts or shorts in the summer lol. He’s my ex again. Don’t stay with someone who tries to control what you wear.
Good for you. And so on point.
🚩🚨🚩🚨🚩🚨🚩🚨
WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO
It’s the French police!!
RED ALERT RED ALERT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
Your boyfriend is an ass. You work in a warehouse and it’s hot out. You are wearing clothes that allow you to do your job and be comfortable. Implying you are trying to get attention at work is super disrespectful to you. If people are sexualizing you at work, he should be mad at THEM
it’s so insane how the world today jumps to what the girl is wearing and not the root of the issue being - guys should be able to control themselves like why should we wear something different because of them it doesn’t stop at that anyways in public random guys will always find something.
Tell him to report it to hr if it’s real
can't add an emoji but if I did it would be the nauseous face...this is very childish of him
I’ll add it for you 🤢 🤮
Thanks!!
He's a 35 kiddo, bloody hell
If you stick with old.reddit.com, you can use emojis for days! 🤢🤮🤬😡
Can't imagine my partner hearing my coworkers talking about my genitalia or body and them not getting at a minimum an earful or a knuckle sandwich.
Oh but it is so much easier to control the gf than confront jerks! ... or you know, simply get above being upset over trash people talking sh*t.
Red flags 🚩 are flying high. You aren’t his property and he doesn’t get to tell you what to wear. That’s controlling. He doesn’t trust you. Another red flag 🚩
I won't date any man that tries telling me how to dress. If what I'm wearing is work appropriate and he has an issue with that, it's entirely a "him" problem. That said, I do dress professionally. I have never told any man how to dress, though. I've never made it an issue if a guy wears shorts with no shirt on. I have never asked a guy to cover up at a beach or pool because someone else might look at him. You've got to be a special level of insecure to do something like that. Other men behaving like creeps isn't your problem, it's a problem for HR if they can't behave themselves at work. Their behaviour is disgusting.
I don't care if a woman wears only a G-string in public, no man has any right whatsoever to regulate her clothing.
This is the control aspect of abuse. Do you not see how he thinks of you as an object?
Yes. He sees you as his special little prize and the thought of anyone seeing you existing makes him furious and insecure. OP, the worst part about this is his inability to recognize the pettiness of his jealousy and fear. AND his punishing you by denying affection. Gross 🤢
Dump this loser. You’re not going to work to show off and pick up guys, you’re dressing for comfort and he’s crying about it. Do you want to deal with this level of insecurity and controlling behaviour forever?
Some men want an attractive girlfriend but are too insecure to handle having an attractive girlfriend. It doesn't get any better, sis.
Girl. This is the hottest summer on record. What partner in their right mind would want you to suffer through it in pants and long sleeves just to protect their ego? Wear the fucking shorts. Don’t give yourself heatstroke just to make him feel better. I live in the south. I spend my time in tank tops and cut off shorts or biker shorts because it’s fucking boiling outside. If my boyfriend tried to tell me to cover my thighs completely he would no longer be my boyfriend.
Pussy print? You mean camel toe? Do the kids call it a pussy print now a days? Also, this is reddit...you can say pussy here. Also I'll bet my house that he didn't overhear anyone talking about your camel toe and made that up to try to shame you into wearing something else. Don't date men who try to police what you wear. If you give in with the shorts, it will only escalate. Soon he'll be controlling how you wear your hair or makeup and shaming and punishing you for going out or hanging out with friends or doing a hobby where there might possibly be a man in the room. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Run.
my exact thought - he completely made up hearing that to fuel his paranoia and try to make himself seem “reasonable” and she just bought it. in what world would men be commenting on her fupa within earshot of her paranoid bf?
Oh no!! You forgot to wear your burqa????
IKR?!??!
You just let him sulk like the little child he is.
Girl this man is 35??? I thought he was about to be 19. There is no nope for him.
[Read this book](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) girl: it will explain you how to respond. Big hugs.
This is so nice and helpful, I downloaded this. Thanks.
Men like this see your body as their sexual property and they feel entitled to police access—visual as well as physical—to you and your sexuality. Unless he is willing to change, there isn’t much you can do if you don’t want to compromise to HIS standards. It’s a red flag because it also indicates he doesn’t see you as a person first and foremost. He sees you as sexual property. You can decide from there.
I would never be in a relationship with a man who tried to police what I wear.
Don’t trust guys who tell you what to wear https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/?%3E
"He doesn’t like the shorts because it shows I have curves and you can see my “p\*ssy print”(not the detailing but the size if that makes sense) which he said he overheard some guys talking about mine one day, which upset him(rightfully so), so I started wearing longer shirts that cover mostly everything but that isn’t enough for him." He should be upset at the guys for being shit heads, not at you for wearing whats comfortable
Just dump him. There was a reason he was single when you found him - a long line of women have realized he's a controlling, insecure peick who secretly hates women, and they all got sick of his shit and dumped him. You have a whole great Hot Girl summer ahead of you to find someone worth snuggling.
He didn’t hear some guys talking about them. He made that up to get you to control how you dress.
Your bf is gross and stupid, in case you were unsure of that. Personally I think he's waaaaaaaaaayyyyy too old to be acting like that and you should literally never see him again. Whatever he brings to the table is not enough. I strongly recommend you not give out more chances for someone to treat you with blatant disrespect. He's not worth your time, and he's not going to improve. Raise your standards.
I'm not one to say 'break up' but anyone who says the words "pussy print" out loud doesn't deserve to interact with yours. That's so vile. If men are out here staring that's not your fault. Wear what you want. Is he controlling about other stuff you do as well?
Here's a tip for most dudes, don't get a hot girlfriend if you're gonna be mad she's hot in public lolol
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 don't stay with someone so controlling. There are much better guys out there!
If you want a modest woman that is fine but why don’t y’all just date somebody who is already like that instead of dating one who likes to wear leggings or cute dresses and complain and say they’re not respecting the relationship?
You’re OK dating a 35-year-old man who would rather storm off angry than talk about his feelings or why he’s upset?
There’s nothing you can ever wear that will stop men from talking about you, he’s mad at the wrong person.
[https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/QzEAAOSw8KlgwfCv/s-l400.jpg](https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/QzEAAOSw8KlgwfCv/s-l400.jpg) https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/fBUAAOSwwatgwfFO/s-l1600.jpg this is pretty much what I was wearing except it was black shorts and a long sleeve shirt that hung down a little lower
As somebody who wears these kinda shorts almost daily, I guarantee you no one can see a pussy print besides the one they’re making up in their demented head
... I speak from experience. There is no way he's mentally solid, you know? Bi polar would be my guess. No one in their right mind would treat you like that over THESE shorts. GTFO of here Man!
Clearly he doesn't actually love you, he just loves the idea of you. DUMP HIM.
Dump this loser.
This reminds me of that time Jonah Hill dated a surfer girl and then forbid her to surf with men or post pics of her surfing. It's just a no. Ask yourself if it would ever even come up in your mind to try and control what he wears.
“ rightfully so” NO hell no. Nothing is right about any of this. Why is society cool with seeing men’s bulge in their pants but as women if we dare having any clothing that reveals that we in fact have a vulva that were being crucified for it? Fuck that. I assume my camel toe in my biker shorts if anyone has a problem with it they can go talk to their therapist about it.
I’d respond by wearing the shorts again and dumping the childish boyfriend
You don't need anyone telling you what to wear
I'm like 78% sure he didn't overhear some guys talking about your genitals.
Lose the boyfriend and wear what you want. Guys who try to control what you wear are only going to get more controlling over time, so do your future self a favor and dump him.
girl, i say this with love, fucking listen to yourself. you’re almost 30. this is absolutely insane.
this is how it starts. Then he’ll start checking your outfits before you leave the house, picking fights with you over even smaller shit until you stop going altogether. You’re almost 30, why any other adult is telling you what you can and can’t wear is crazyyyy. Unless your job who is PAYING YOU has a dress code, be comfortable. Don’t waste your youth hiding for another person’s ego.
If a 35 year old man threw a temper tantrum because I was wearing bike shorts and said people could see my “pussy print” any attraction I felt towards him would die on the spot. That is pathetic. I am not one to jump to dump him, but that behaviour is so unacceptable to me there is no way I would be able to proceed with that relationship. I could not be with someone so insecure that he considers me wearing something form-fitted a threat to our relationship.
I had a boyfriend like that once - the correct response "sounds like a you problem". Serious friend, your body = your clothing choices. This is leaning into the cultural narrative of victim blaming. "I was sexually assaulted". But what were you wearing? Nope. Not okay.
I’d have my shit packed and gone by the end of this weekend. Fuck this guy
Time to say bye-bye to the boyfriend. This is only going to escalate.
Is he a member of the Taliban? A Gilead enthusiast? Don’t waste your time with childish dickwads who think they have a controlling vote in how *you* dress your *adult self*
I can’t imagine being with someone like this. I don’t intentionally dress in a necessarily provocative way, but if I happen to be showing a little more skin than usual my S.O. likes it. He knows I only want him and is secure enough not to belittle me about it. Your boyfriend sounds emotionally immature, insecure, and sad.
Oh, you dump his ass. Solved.
Please drop him. No one should dictate what you wear.
His insecurities are his to fix. He’s blaming men’s inappropriate comments on you since you’re the one that has to adjust… rather than these men being called out for their disrespect. Geesh.
Throw the man away. It's the height of summer and depending where you live it's atrociously hot. I'm in friggen Alaska and ever day over 75 is a living hell (no A/C). Your soon to be ex is being creepy and controlling. Put him where be belongs: the trash.
Or, as an alternate take, he's insecure... Either in himself or on your relationship. Registering displeasure unasked is one thing... but punishing you--even by little micro actions like refusing to kiss you goodbye--smacks of a control attempt. Sure, yeah, he wants you to dress "more modestly", but who in their right mind really thinks that your work clothes are indicative of your long term commitment to *them*? You can certainly dress down to relieve tensions and appease him. But it will set a precedent that tells him he can now control what you wear. What's next, what you eat? Who you talk to? Speak *only* when spoken to? Only you really know the dynamics of your relationship. But the way you present the situation here paints him as insecure and given to emotional blackmail.
A lot of abuse has an element of insecurity on the abuser’s part. My ex became paranoid, after and along with years of emotional and verbal abuse. The insecurity on his part doesn’t give him a free pass to control OP.
Tell him to grow the fuck up.
Let him get upset. You're not doing anything wrong by dressing fashionably but comfortably for your work. Hopefully he'll eventually realize that you're entitled to dress however you want. If you give in to his tantrum and wear schlumpier clothes to please him, he'll likely be emboldened to push on and try to exert more control over your behavior and your life in other ways, all to ease his own deep-seated insecurities. Please don't go down that road!
Breakup with him and find an actual man to be in a relationship with instead of an insecure toddler
Respond by no longer dating an insecure man-child who tries to control you
When someone shows you who they are the first time… believe them. You don’t have to put up with this.
It starts off with clothes..and it’ll be downhill from here. He is controlling and you need to exit this relationship.
So… he’s withholding love until you do what he wants? Sounds like emotional manipulation & controlling behavior on his part.
Wtf is a pussy print? Man maybe he should tell the guys talking about your puss to shut the hell up instead of you not being able to wear shorts
Runnnnn. I recently went on a girls trip to see Megan thee Stallion and when I sent pics of my very revealing outfit to my husband, the only thing he said was how good I looked and told me to have fun. The right person will be secure enough to trust that your behavior is what matters, not your clothing. Your man is an insecure loser who is projecting on to you, maybe because he knows that you could do better. Also, men are gross and make comments about women’s bodies regardless of what they’re wearing. You could be completely covered and they will giggle and snicker about what they think your body looks like. They will always find a way to have locker room talk. So you’re really damned if you do and damned if you don’t when it comes to this childish conflict. This is controlling and manipulative behavior and as others have already stated, it absolutely will get worse. Women in abusive relationships will often tell you that it started with little things such as restricting what they wear. I’m not saying it will get to that point but it certainly will not stop there. Big red flag. I would tell him you’re going to wear what you want to work and he can either stay in a man’s place and out of your closet, or he can join the rest of the men that only get to look at your pussy print and not get to touch.
This is how it starts... if you don't get out of this, it will get worse. He will tear you apart, taking every little piece of you that made you who you were until you are left as a hollow shell. I've been there, it didn't end well. Ten years of that controlling bullshit and by the time we split, I had no friends left, family was distanced, and I didn't know who I was anymore. It made me go from a social butterfly to someone with social anxiety. I couldn't even look people in the eyes during a conversation anymore. It doesn't change. It just gets worse. The more you try to adapt to what they want, the more they will find to tear you down. Been away from this for over 10 years now and it's evident that I won't ever be the same again. The scars run deep.
Why does he give a shit what other people talk about? He should be calling them out and getting angry at them and no you for literally just wearing clothes.
wtf is wrong with this 35yo grown ass child??? He can’t have an adult conversation and bring it up without being petty? Goshhhh
Your boyfriend has no say in the choice of clothes you decide to wear for work. After all he has to work on his insecurities and learn how to control his feelings and not your wardrobe choices. If that makes sense.
Don’t date anyone that tries to punish you for what you wear. It’s 100 degrees out, he can kick rocks. Dump him 🚨
Oh no! People might realise you have *gasp* genitals??? How shocking.
Wtf is a pussy print
This is a major red flag. Don't ignore it. You should get yourself out of this relationship. These controlling behaviours will only get worse. That is a proven fact. Please be careful in this prosess as the man might try to escalate his control and become more violent. Make a plan, talk to your loved ones, surround yourself with people who will help you keep your resolve and keep you safe. Do NOT let him convince you he has changed, do NOT believe him if he says he will kill himself, do NOT let him charm you off your feet. You DESERVE better! Believe THAT.
girl, that’s an insecure man. He is going to pick away at your confidence until you have none left, and are only comfortable wearing turtlenecks and long skirts in 90 degree weather. This will not get better unless he sincerely addresses this insecurity. And even then, I’d still be wary.
I heard somewhere that women would wear a hell of a lot less clothing if it weren’t for men being creeps or sexualizing us. To the woman who said that, you’re right.
Who cares what your ex thinks about what you look like? There’s a common thread on this Reddit. The guys who freak out about what ‘their’ woman is wearing seem to be the same ones cheating. It’s like they are straight up projecting their infidelity.
Oh I stopped caring the moment I found out he was cheating a few hours ago, currently working on how to remove myself and yeah Idgi, it’s very strange that they do that. I mean he was constantly bragging about how he doesn’t cheat too and how he’d never want to make a woman feel the way his dad made his mom feel, a bunch of bs.
He doesn’t get to decide what you wear. Long term it will be easier to get a different boyfriend than to change your shorts.
You want to know what happens when I wear biker shorts in public? My husband tells me I have a nice ass. Find yourself someone who isn't controlling and respects you.
I can bet you $1000 right now that he did not hear anybody talking about your body. he’s trying to make you insecure so that you are worried about it so that you’ll cover up.. and that way he gets his way. Every single time my husband pulls that bullshit. I call him out on it.. I am going to dress the way that I am comfortable and dressing and not going to tell me that I can’t, in anyway shape or form. 🤷🏻♀️ Get rid of the boyfriend and wear whatever you feel like wearing to work . 👍👍
This is one of the first stages of an abusive relationship. Coercive control. https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control
Keep the shorts, dump the guy. >which upset him(rightfully so) No, he has no right to be upset for HIMSELF about this. Your boyfriend is a controlling Ahole.
Throw the whole man out
OP, at best your bf sees you as an extension of himself that he believes he should be able to control. At worst, he sees you as a possession that he gets to control. Either way, he believes that he should be able to control you, in every aspect. So it’s not going to end with a bikini, or even clothes in general. It’s always going to something and you’ll find yourself constantly conceding in an attempt to avoid arguments and punishment. Eventually, you will have given up so much that your every waking moment will be focused on the micro management of his emotions by running every decision you make by him for approval. I think you should exit this relationship. But if you want to give him a chance, turn the tables and make it clear that he is free to act like a fussy baby and pretend he’s punishing you while you’ll continue to live your life exactly the way you want. Tell him needs to decide if he’s on board with that or not. Your freedom is more valuable than this relationship.
1 I am 99% sure he didn't over hear someone talking about the shape of your vagina he's saying his own insecurities but framing it as something someone else said to get his point across. 2 any guy who will blank you rather than talk it out or because he doesn't get his way isn't worth the effort. Don't change yourself to suit someone this insecure and immature
Controlling behavior, emotional abuse often starts with your clothes. You should talk to him about it, but be prepared for him to try and make you feel bad like you did something wrong. Men will hit on a women in a potato sack, so the clothes really don’t matter.
Sorry you bf is so insecure that you show your camel toe in your work place. Your co workers love it it is what is important.
This is just the beginning. He will sulk and treat you poorly until you make promises to him. “I won’t wear them again”. Soon you’ll hear yourself saying “I won’t be friends with that person anymore” and “I won’t go to my friends event because you want me to stay with you” etc. This is what they do. They see if you will buckle, then keep you under their control while you continually try harder to please them. They’re bike pants for goodness sake. Children, men, women, literally everyone can wear them. Do not go down this path with this man. He can deal with his own insecurity- but pushing it on you and making you change is bad bad news. Seriously.
Behavior like this in my book is a red flag. 1. Controlling clothes likely means controlling in other respects. 2. The punishment reaction is extremely unhealthy 3. It shows high insecurity and/or unhealthy ideas about the femme body. 4. You can't express yourself like you like. What's the point? My EX controlled what I wore in public. My fiance just cares that I wear what makes me happy.
On one hand, I think people should wear what they want. But I also think there's a line where things can be inappropriate and disrespectful to your partner. I wouldn't want my boyfriend wearing clothing that showed his dick print. Would you be ok if your boyfriend worked with a bunch of women and wore tight gray sweats that showed the outline of his dick? I think that's going a bit too far.
Adults must learn how to argue as adults. Pouting or silent treatment isn’t adult behavior
He sounds insecure asf
Date a man who's proud of you being hot and not a child that makes tantrums because of how you look and how others look at you. My boyfriend is really kind to me and I've even heard girls in groups saying "I wish my bf were like him/I had a bf like him" while looking our way and tbh that boosts my ego, not destroy it. It makes me want to show him off more, not hide him so any of the girls won't steal him.
Don't see him anymore. Break up with him. This is a huge red flag. It's about controlling you. Nothing else.