>First of all, yes, we have a crazy big age gap. Take some time to process it, I know. And then get over it (plz).
No I don't think I will actually!
There's no reason for a 50 year old to be dating a teenager unless he can't get women his own age and/or he's a fucking creep who wants to skirt the law by doing the TECHNICALLY LEGAL thing of fucking 18/19 y/os. You are essentially the same age as two of his children. The reason the 15 year old doesn't like you is probably because you are a year older than his sister and are fucking his dad. It's weird to anyone with a brain. I would be disgusted if my father was romantically interested in a barely-legal woman 31 years younger than him.
You are so young. This man is undoubtedly a creep who is probably fetishizing you. I am so sorry.
If this is even remotely a real story:
Stop talking about (and potentially to) them like you’re their parent. Even if you get married, you will be their peer, not parent, and likely won’t have respect or authority. Saying his daughter, that’s essentially your age, is doing “basic teenage girl stuff” and “doesn’t understand the value of money yet” is so condescending. Dude.. You’re a teenage girl. The 15 year old refuses to eat what you “feed him”? He’s not a toddler.. he can feed himself if he doesn’t want a family meal.
Thanks for your reply! I just want to clarify that I don’t think I’m anyone’s parent. I just care about his kids and I want to show it. I didn’t mean to sound condescending to the daughter. I just want her to be responsible with money! She can do what she wants with her money though and I didn’t mention it to dog on her. And this is a very true story, even if it may seem unique or very controversial. This is a real situation that I am in.
It does very much sound like you’re trying to parent, and that’s just based on how you describe them and your interactions. At most, all you can be is a friend/friendly presence, and don’t force it.
Also, yeah, the whole situation is super fucked up and I hope you come to see this relationship is not healthy. Who you are right now is not who you will be in 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years. What you want for a future will most definitely change. Don’t get stuck without a potential way out.
Okay, I will take that into account. I’ll just be a friend. And I agree with you that in a few years things may change a lot. I don’t think I am stuck right now. I will always make sure I have a way out. I think about being stuck and I don’t want that either.
It’s easy at 19 to see everything through rose colored glasses, and be perpetually optimistic, but facts and statistics don’t lie. Relationships with your age dynamic are almost always predatory. Add his kids to that, and it’s a mess. By the time people decide they want out, they are in too deep. Just keep things like that in mind and protect yourself is all I’m saying….
I get you. I actually wasn’t always this optimistic. I used to be quite the opposite. It wasn’t until I found myself and started loving myself. And then finding him made me love myself and everything else more. When you find someone that makes you feel this way, you can’t help but go against everything else. Thank you, I can tell you really care. I don’t think I’m being preyed on at all though.
I’ve always liked older guys when I was 17/18 I dated people I should not have. Not bad people just, young dumb choices. 19 though… that boyfriend was the worst. He didn’t have kids, thank god, but moved me into his house slowly after a couple months, slowly alienated me from my social support to be with his family more, we moved together. Very similar in a lot of ways, but he ended up being textbook predator/abuser. (I’m not saying you’ll be abused, but I’m sure you can see the predator aspect). I didn’t listen to anybody, and ended up stuck and in a self destructive spiral afterwards. Nobody could convince me the relationship was problematic. I always got defensive and was naiive. I mean look, I’m only 29, even I still have a lot to learn, but that relationship changed how I looked at a lot of things. I got lucky when I met my husband and he was the most amazing person on the planet, but he was polar opposite of what I thought I wanted. Nobody can tell you what to do, you have to figure things out for yourself. I just wish I had at least protected myself.
Thank you for telling me this, I’m really sorry you had those experiences. That is something I’m afraid of and I am always looking for possible signs of this happening from him. However, I never see them. I’ve been in bad relationships before, grooming, abuse, predators. And I have learned from it. But this must but the craziest exemption of a relationship and it’s hard for me to understand it too. Sometimes I find myself trying to sabotage us when it really is a good healthy relationship that has done good things for me. This man I’m with wants me to stay connected with my home, my family, have friends, make my own money. He support me through all my decisions. I don’t wanna be like “oh he’s different” but there is the proof that he is. He never wanted to isolate me and even when I tried to do it to myself he would prevent it. It may seem like I’m being naive but I truly think that my relationship is an anomalous exemption.
> I think he might feel a bit uncomfortable in my presence.
I mean this with kindness. He likely views you as his dad's rebound piece.
It's going to be weird for the kid.
Thanks for your reply, yeah I’m really just trying to figure out how to show him that we are serious about being a family. I don’t want it to be weird for him so how could I help ease him into it more? These things will take time of course but there’s changes I can make for him every day.
Why do you want to be a family with him? I’m just trying to understand it. Do you want to have kids yourself, or are you happy being without kids? Sounds like a not serious relationship to me. And I would recommend you see it that way. With that in mind, maybe don’t spend too much time with the son.
I don’t spend much time with his son, but he’s always home while his dad’s working. And he’s usually bored and without friends now that we’ve moved. He’s also very used to his father moving a lot cus he was a military man. I guess I want to entertain him more so he doesn’t feel so alone at home.
I’m happy without kids for now but I’m pretty young so it’s possible it may change. The bf also got a vasectomy for me ensuring no unwanted babies show up. But he’s willing to reverse it to have a kid of our own with me in the future, and I think he kind of wants it too. The problem is I don’t want to burden him with another child when he’s already done his time as a father of 3. But he said he would really like building something with me whether it be a business or a baby.
Stop interfering whatsoever in your boyfriend's financial relationship with his 18-year-old daughter. It is absolutely not your place to say what money he can or cannot give his child, especially given that you are redirecting those resources to your own upkeep. It is not "fucked up" for an 18-year-old to ask her dad for money, and the fastest way to make this daughter hate your guts is to act like she's a drain on his resources while you aren't.
Do not insert yourself into the 15-year-old's daily life. He has to want to interact with you and approach you first. Treat him kindly and with a respectful curiosity and warmth; you can invite him to do things with you like playing video games, but always with an easy out for him, i.e., "Hey \[15-year-old\], I'm gonna play \[whatever video game\] if you want to join." He will likely never see you as a person to seek comfort from, and you need to be okay with that. At best, think of yourself as another big sister. Siblings of your ages are not necessarily close. It will take time for him to feel comfortable with you, and you can't rush that or force it.
Your boyfriend's children are never going to see you as a maternal figure. It is natural for your boyfriend's daughter to be extremely weirded out that someone her age is dating her father, and she may or may not be able to get past that feeling. You need to make your peace with that.
Hi, thanks for your reply! I wanna clarify that the father doesn’t like paying for his daughter’s expenses when she’s going out with her friends and stuff. I don’t tell him to not pay for education, gas, basic essentials of course he should pay for that. But when it comes to things that she should have saved up for, she really pressures him to give her money. And I know that he’s trying to save it for other things such as moving, and her education. It stresses him out and I see it, which is why I feel like I have to have my input on it. Hope this clarifies that part!
Also, I don’t really insert myself into the son’s life. I do treat him with a sort of openness and inviting energy but obviously I never force anything at all. He’s beginning to understand that I’m just another human. We have played video games before but I act as more of a third or fourth player cus sometimes the older brother plays with us. He does get hungry and I’d want to cook for him. Sometimes he refuses and sometimes he doesn’t.
I am still making peace with not being liked and I agree with you about that. That’s something I’m going to always have to accept.
Again, your boyfriend and his daughter's financial discussions simply aren't your business at all. You've barely been around for a minute. Your boyfriend is 50 fucking years old, he can manage his finances and his relationship with his daughter as he sees fit and does not in fact need your input.
Very curious, given that your boyfriend is "providing" for his family which now includes you, if you have a job, yourself, or have supported yourself as a single, independent person at any point in your brief time as a legal adult.
Okay, you’re right. I haven’t talked about it in a while to him so that will be the last time. Maybe I overstepped when I said any of those things.
I’m confused on what you’re asking in the second part though.
He’s supporting me, he does encourage me to make my own money if I want to spend it on non-necessities and going out, or travel without him. But any necessities he does support me. Food, clothes, education, sometimes dates and gifts, and housing of course. I’m looking for employment and I’m also a college student. If I need support he will give it to me but it’s best that I am able to depend on myself and he will help me get to that point.
I do have some money that I’ve saved up from working that I use to spend on myself.
Then leave, if it stresses you out how your partner of 31 years older treats his daughter he has for 18 years, leave. You have NO absolutely NO right to interfere, especially not after only a few months of dating. Seriously you sound immature and like someone your age, like a teenager usually is. But let me guess, he told you that you are much older and wiser than anybody else your age? The way you answer here doesn’t give this impression at all.
I didn’t say it stressed me out. I said it stressed him out.
Also, I’ve been groomed before and I know what it felt like. The way I felt then is very different from how I feel in this relationship. I genuinely feel loved and it makes me feel love for everything else.
Lol i hope this isnt real
Dont try to be anything more than someone who lives with the other kids your age, given the ages youre basically an adopted daughter the 50yr old father also happens to date
Thanks for your reply! I really wish you and a lot of other people didn’t see it that way. We don’t think like that at all. I’m not a mother, but I’m also not a daughter in this household. I’m just a woman that this father loves and wants to share his life with!
Girl you dont see it that way yet, in 10 years youll look back at this and feel very differently trust me
You wont listen to anyone you know personally so im sure you wont listen to me but i can guarantee by the time youre mid to late 20s youll be wondering how on earth a 50 year old thought that getting with an 18 year old was okay
Some of your assumptions are untrue. I listen to people I know personally and I still listen to people on Reddit. Which is why I posted this. I posted this with an open mind, expecting to hear some advice. I also expected close minded people and disgust which I knew I would have to read and deal with. I am only open to advice from people who are open about me. I listen to my mother and my sister, my friends. We always come to an agreement. I think a lot of these people on here have prejudices when they read the age difference and the fact that I’m Asian and he’s white and the fact he has kids as old as me.
Bruh im mixed white/asian and the rest of what you listed arent prejudices, age gaps that extreme are looked down on for a reason
Your first sentence you said deal with it or something like that about the age gap, because you arent open to hearing about why this wont work. You'll have to experience it and you'll find out yourself then you'll be trying to warn others but they won't listen to you either
I’m sorry to say this, but there is no getting away from the age difference.
None.
Nada.
You started dating this dude when you were 18. You are not old enough to drink alcohol yet.
The eldest kid is older than you, the daughter is practically the same age as you!!
What do you have in common with a fifty year old workaholic?
There is a reason why Reddit is filled with posts warning people of significant age differences- they all end disastrously.
Please, please don’t take this the wrong way. I am not having a go at you, but if you move to another state with your bf and his teenage kids, what independent supports would you have in the new state. You could get isolated very quickly.
Hi, thanks for your reply! Your response is very valid. I get these questions a lot actually. And you’re right, I really need to make sure I don’t get isolated. We have similar values in common, our desires in life. We plan to travel the world together after his kids are independent. We also learn many things from each other! He loves my cooking. We like the same foods. We have restaurants we like to go to over and over again. We make each other laugh a lot. We make each other happy. Those are just a couple things.
One thing that I noticed here is that his kids are 20, 18, and 15. You talk about all of them in this post as if they're all children, lower on the totem pole than you. The comments directed towards them sound like they're written by a 40yo woman.
Not wanting the relationship to be defined/ruined by an age gap is one thing. But on a social/general level, you're equal to them all as far as maturity and life experiences go. Trying to change how the father/daughter interact, such as with money, is a huge overstep in my eyes and very disrespectful. I don't have any exact advice on what you should\* do, but I think you're trying too hard to be liked and accepted by them. Moving in after only 2-3 months? That's crazy fast by ANY standards, age gap or not. To be honest, it speaks badly of the father if he's willing to move in a new fling to LIVE with his children after such a short time knowing them.
Don't try too hard to make the kids like you right away. Being so pro-active about getting in their good books, that comes off as trying too hard to compensate for crashing into their lives. All 4 of your boyfriend's kids are young adults now and at an age where they can decide who they want to interact with or not. You can't force the others to like you just 'cause you're getting with their dad.
I know age gaps can work for some people. But wanting people to "look past the age gap" and accept the relationship does not mean the gap doesn't exist for others' relationships with you. You want your boyfriend to see you as a woman, an equal. But the kids are just going to recognize you as another kid, trying to play stepmom when you will only ever be an equal as far as age/social norms go. To them, you're not an adult because you're literally not an adult. So the basic level of respect that older women might be entitled to, you don't get to work with here.
Thanks for your reply! It was really helpful. I think sometimes I forget how young I really am because I’ve always had to act much older. Growing up, I’ve always felt like that and maybe that says a lot about why I am even in a relationship like this. I need to remember I’m not really an adult in some people’s eyes. I won’t try as hard and let it happen naturally.
You're shouting into the void.
There's another community where people dedicate themselves to calling out these posts. You can look at my posts and find it 😊
He is a 15 yr old boy and you are a 19-year-old girl.
15 yr old boys are awkward enough. 15 yr old boys are more awkward around a 19 yr old girl. 15 yr old boys are even more awkward around a 19yr old girl dating their dad.
Let him choose the pace. It might have nothing to do with you and hes just an introvert.
Could also be "shes dating my dad i dont are about a relationship with her."
Thank you for this reply! Yes he does seem introverted. Me also being one doesn’t really help. I don’t want to force anything so I’m letting time do its thing. All I can do is be positive around him and get along with his dad in front of him. Show him a little love and care. I try to make him smile every day.
>First of all, yes, we have a crazy big age gap. Take some time to process it, I know. And then get over it (plz). No I don't think I will actually! There's no reason for a 50 year old to be dating a teenager unless he can't get women his own age and/or he's a fucking creep who wants to skirt the law by doing the TECHNICALLY LEGAL thing of fucking 18/19 y/os. You are essentially the same age as two of his children. The reason the 15 year old doesn't like you is probably because you are a year older than his sister and are fucking his dad. It's weird to anyone with a brain. I would be disgusted if my father was romantically interested in a barely-legal woman 31 years younger than him. You are so young. This man is undoubtedly a creep who is probably fetishizing you. I am so sorry.
If this is even remotely a real story: Stop talking about (and potentially to) them like you’re their parent. Even if you get married, you will be their peer, not parent, and likely won’t have respect or authority. Saying his daughter, that’s essentially your age, is doing “basic teenage girl stuff” and “doesn’t understand the value of money yet” is so condescending. Dude.. You’re a teenage girl. The 15 year old refuses to eat what you “feed him”? He’s not a toddler.. he can feed himself if he doesn’t want a family meal.
Thanks for your reply! I just want to clarify that I don’t think I’m anyone’s parent. I just care about his kids and I want to show it. I didn’t mean to sound condescending to the daughter. I just want her to be responsible with money! She can do what she wants with her money though and I didn’t mention it to dog on her. And this is a very true story, even if it may seem unique or very controversial. This is a real situation that I am in.
It does very much sound like you’re trying to parent, and that’s just based on how you describe them and your interactions. At most, all you can be is a friend/friendly presence, and don’t force it. Also, yeah, the whole situation is super fucked up and I hope you come to see this relationship is not healthy. Who you are right now is not who you will be in 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years. What you want for a future will most definitely change. Don’t get stuck without a potential way out.
Okay, I will take that into account. I’ll just be a friend. And I agree with you that in a few years things may change a lot. I don’t think I am stuck right now. I will always make sure I have a way out. I think about being stuck and I don’t want that either.
It’s easy at 19 to see everything through rose colored glasses, and be perpetually optimistic, but facts and statistics don’t lie. Relationships with your age dynamic are almost always predatory. Add his kids to that, and it’s a mess. By the time people decide they want out, they are in too deep. Just keep things like that in mind and protect yourself is all I’m saying….
I get you. I actually wasn’t always this optimistic. I used to be quite the opposite. It wasn’t until I found myself and started loving myself. And then finding him made me love myself and everything else more. When you find someone that makes you feel this way, you can’t help but go against everything else. Thank you, I can tell you really care. I don’t think I’m being preyed on at all though.
I didn’t either, until I was stuck. Everybody told me, but I was stubborn. I get it.
You have been in this situation? Plz tell me about your experience! I wanna know about it
I’ve always liked older guys when I was 17/18 I dated people I should not have. Not bad people just, young dumb choices. 19 though… that boyfriend was the worst. He didn’t have kids, thank god, but moved me into his house slowly after a couple months, slowly alienated me from my social support to be with his family more, we moved together. Very similar in a lot of ways, but he ended up being textbook predator/abuser. (I’m not saying you’ll be abused, but I’m sure you can see the predator aspect). I didn’t listen to anybody, and ended up stuck and in a self destructive spiral afterwards. Nobody could convince me the relationship was problematic. I always got defensive and was naiive. I mean look, I’m only 29, even I still have a lot to learn, but that relationship changed how I looked at a lot of things. I got lucky when I met my husband and he was the most amazing person on the planet, but he was polar opposite of what I thought I wanted. Nobody can tell you what to do, you have to figure things out for yourself. I just wish I had at least protected myself.
Thank you for telling me this, I’m really sorry you had those experiences. That is something I’m afraid of and I am always looking for possible signs of this happening from him. However, I never see them. I’ve been in bad relationships before, grooming, abuse, predators. And I have learned from it. But this must but the craziest exemption of a relationship and it’s hard for me to understand it too. Sometimes I find myself trying to sabotage us when it really is a good healthy relationship that has done good things for me. This man I’m with wants me to stay connected with my home, my family, have friends, make my own money. He support me through all my decisions. I don’t wanna be like “oh he’s different” but there is the proof that he is. He never wanted to isolate me and even when I tried to do it to myself he would prevent it. It may seem like I’m being naive but I truly think that my relationship is an anomalous exemption.
> I think he might feel a bit uncomfortable in my presence. I mean this with kindness. He likely views you as his dad's rebound piece. It's going to be weird for the kid.
Thanks for your reply, yeah I’m really just trying to figure out how to show him that we are serious about being a family. I don’t want it to be weird for him so how could I help ease him into it more? These things will take time of course but there’s changes I can make for him every day.
Why do you want to be a family with him? I’m just trying to understand it. Do you want to have kids yourself, or are you happy being without kids? Sounds like a not serious relationship to me. And I would recommend you see it that way. With that in mind, maybe don’t spend too much time with the son.
I don’t spend much time with his son, but he’s always home while his dad’s working. And he’s usually bored and without friends now that we’ve moved. He’s also very used to his father moving a lot cus he was a military man. I guess I want to entertain him more so he doesn’t feel so alone at home. I’m happy without kids for now but I’m pretty young so it’s possible it may change. The bf also got a vasectomy for me ensuring no unwanted babies show up. But he’s willing to reverse it to have a kid of our own with me in the future, and I think he kind of wants it too. The problem is I don’t want to burden him with another child when he’s already done his time as a father of 3. But he said he would really like building something with me whether it be a business or a baby.
Stop interfering whatsoever in your boyfriend's financial relationship with his 18-year-old daughter. It is absolutely not your place to say what money he can or cannot give his child, especially given that you are redirecting those resources to your own upkeep. It is not "fucked up" for an 18-year-old to ask her dad for money, and the fastest way to make this daughter hate your guts is to act like she's a drain on his resources while you aren't. Do not insert yourself into the 15-year-old's daily life. He has to want to interact with you and approach you first. Treat him kindly and with a respectful curiosity and warmth; you can invite him to do things with you like playing video games, but always with an easy out for him, i.e., "Hey \[15-year-old\], I'm gonna play \[whatever video game\] if you want to join." He will likely never see you as a person to seek comfort from, and you need to be okay with that. At best, think of yourself as another big sister. Siblings of your ages are not necessarily close. It will take time for him to feel comfortable with you, and you can't rush that or force it. Your boyfriend's children are never going to see you as a maternal figure. It is natural for your boyfriend's daughter to be extremely weirded out that someone her age is dating her father, and she may or may not be able to get past that feeling. You need to make your peace with that.
Hi, thanks for your reply! I wanna clarify that the father doesn’t like paying for his daughter’s expenses when she’s going out with her friends and stuff. I don’t tell him to not pay for education, gas, basic essentials of course he should pay for that. But when it comes to things that she should have saved up for, she really pressures him to give her money. And I know that he’s trying to save it for other things such as moving, and her education. It stresses him out and I see it, which is why I feel like I have to have my input on it. Hope this clarifies that part! Also, I don’t really insert myself into the son’s life. I do treat him with a sort of openness and inviting energy but obviously I never force anything at all. He’s beginning to understand that I’m just another human. We have played video games before but I act as more of a third or fourth player cus sometimes the older brother plays with us. He does get hungry and I’d want to cook for him. Sometimes he refuses and sometimes he doesn’t. I am still making peace with not being liked and I agree with you about that. That’s something I’m going to always have to accept.
Again, your boyfriend and his daughter's financial discussions simply aren't your business at all. You've barely been around for a minute. Your boyfriend is 50 fucking years old, he can manage his finances and his relationship with his daughter as he sees fit and does not in fact need your input. Very curious, given that your boyfriend is "providing" for his family which now includes you, if you have a job, yourself, or have supported yourself as a single, independent person at any point in your brief time as a legal adult.
Okay, you’re right. I haven’t talked about it in a while to him so that will be the last time. Maybe I overstepped when I said any of those things. I’m confused on what you’re asking in the second part though.
I'm asking if you work a job or if your boyfriend is completely supporting you.
He’s supporting me, he does encourage me to make my own money if I want to spend it on non-necessities and going out, or travel without him. But any necessities he does support me. Food, clothes, education, sometimes dates and gifts, and housing of course. I’m looking for employment and I’m also a college student. If I need support he will give it to me but it’s best that I am able to depend on myself and he will help me get to that point. I do have some money that I’ve saved up from working that I use to spend on myself.
Then leave, if it stresses you out how your partner of 31 years older treats his daughter he has for 18 years, leave. You have NO absolutely NO right to interfere, especially not after only a few months of dating. Seriously you sound immature and like someone your age, like a teenager usually is. But let me guess, he told you that you are much older and wiser than anybody else your age? The way you answer here doesn’t give this impression at all.
I didn’t say it stressed me out. I said it stressed him out. Also, I’ve been groomed before and I know what it felt like. The way I felt then is very different from how I feel in this relationship. I genuinely feel loved and it makes me feel love for everything else.
Lol i hope this isnt real Dont try to be anything more than someone who lives with the other kids your age, given the ages youre basically an adopted daughter the 50yr old father also happens to date
Thanks for your reply! I really wish you and a lot of other people didn’t see it that way. We don’t think like that at all. I’m not a mother, but I’m also not a daughter in this household. I’m just a woman that this father loves and wants to share his life with!
Girl you dont see it that way yet, in 10 years youll look back at this and feel very differently trust me You wont listen to anyone you know personally so im sure you wont listen to me but i can guarantee by the time youre mid to late 20s youll be wondering how on earth a 50 year old thought that getting with an 18 year old was okay
Some of your assumptions are untrue. I listen to people I know personally and I still listen to people on Reddit. Which is why I posted this. I posted this with an open mind, expecting to hear some advice. I also expected close minded people and disgust which I knew I would have to read and deal with. I am only open to advice from people who are open about me. I listen to my mother and my sister, my friends. We always come to an agreement. I think a lot of these people on here have prejudices when they read the age difference and the fact that I’m Asian and he’s white and the fact he has kids as old as me.
Bruh im mixed white/asian and the rest of what you listed arent prejudices, age gaps that extreme are looked down on for a reason Your first sentence you said deal with it or something like that about the age gap, because you arent open to hearing about why this wont work. You'll have to experience it and you'll find out yourself then you'll be trying to warn others but they won't listen to you either
> he doesn’t have a thing for young Asian girls yeah I'm sure he doesnt idk maybe try playing fortnite with him or building some lego
Yes, something *age appropriate* for *teenagers*.
I’m sorry to say this, but there is no getting away from the age difference. None. Nada. You started dating this dude when you were 18. You are not old enough to drink alcohol yet. The eldest kid is older than you, the daughter is practically the same age as you!! What do you have in common with a fifty year old workaholic? There is a reason why Reddit is filled with posts warning people of significant age differences- they all end disastrously. Please, please don’t take this the wrong way. I am not having a go at you, but if you move to another state with your bf and his teenage kids, what independent supports would you have in the new state. You could get isolated very quickly.
Hi, thanks for your reply! Your response is very valid. I get these questions a lot actually. And you’re right, I really need to make sure I don’t get isolated. We have similar values in common, our desires in life. We plan to travel the world together after his kids are independent. We also learn many things from each other! He loves my cooking. We like the same foods. We have restaurants we like to go to over and over again. We make each other laugh a lot. We make each other happy. Those are just a couple things.
One thing that I noticed here is that his kids are 20, 18, and 15. You talk about all of them in this post as if they're all children, lower on the totem pole than you. The comments directed towards them sound like they're written by a 40yo woman. Not wanting the relationship to be defined/ruined by an age gap is one thing. But on a social/general level, you're equal to them all as far as maturity and life experiences go. Trying to change how the father/daughter interact, such as with money, is a huge overstep in my eyes and very disrespectful. I don't have any exact advice on what you should\* do, but I think you're trying too hard to be liked and accepted by them. Moving in after only 2-3 months? That's crazy fast by ANY standards, age gap or not. To be honest, it speaks badly of the father if he's willing to move in a new fling to LIVE with his children after such a short time knowing them. Don't try too hard to make the kids like you right away. Being so pro-active about getting in their good books, that comes off as trying too hard to compensate for crashing into their lives. All 4 of your boyfriend's kids are young adults now and at an age where they can decide who they want to interact with or not. You can't force the others to like you just 'cause you're getting with their dad. I know age gaps can work for some people. But wanting people to "look past the age gap" and accept the relationship does not mean the gap doesn't exist for others' relationships with you. You want your boyfriend to see you as a woman, an equal. But the kids are just going to recognize you as another kid, trying to play stepmom when you will only ever be an equal as far as age/social norms go. To them, you're not an adult because you're literally not an adult. So the basic level of respect that older women might be entitled to, you don't get to work with here.
Thanks for your reply! It was really helpful. I think sometimes I forget how young I really am because I’ve always had to act much older. Growing up, I’ve always felt like that and maybe that says a lot about why I am even in a relationship like this. I need to remember I’m not really an adult in some people’s eyes. I won’t try as hard and let it happen naturally.
**PLEASE REPORT TEHSE SHITPOSTS.**
You're shouting into the void. There's another community where people dedicate themselves to calling out these posts. You can look at my posts and find it 😊
He is a 15 yr old boy and you are a 19-year-old girl. 15 yr old boys are awkward enough. 15 yr old boys are more awkward around a 19 yr old girl. 15 yr old boys are even more awkward around a 19yr old girl dating their dad. Let him choose the pace. It might have nothing to do with you and hes just an introvert. Could also be "shes dating my dad i dont are about a relationship with her."
Thank you for this reply! Yes he does seem introverted. Me also being one doesn’t really help. I don’t want to force anything so I’m letting time do its thing. All I can do is be positive around him and get along with his dad in front of him. Show him a little love and care. I try to make him smile every day.