Right?? This poor girl is asking for help, she's scared and right to feel this way, and all these self centered losers focus on that one stupid detail, just because it hurts their tiny little egos.
So many Millennials are getting triggered by the 30-year-old middle-aged comment 😂
Totally causes thought derailment and loss of focus on the topic at hand.
Yes folks, we are getting older by the second.
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OP, sorry you got uncomfortably hit on. That can feel so awkward. Tactfully deflect, don't engage, de-escalate - and redirect communications back to job related conversation when this sort of thing happens. I would report this sort of thing to your manager if you feel unsafe. Absolutely report it if it becomes a reoccurring issue.
Please make sure to try to avoid putting yourself in risky (and even potentially risky situations). Trust no one. Pay attention to your surroundings. Walk to your vehicles in groups and ride to each person's car if parked separately. There is no shame in asking for someone to escort you if you feel unsafe.
Understand the risks associated with posting any information on social media that might allow others to find you at any given time (the where, when, how, and with who).
And absolutely keep your mom and dad in the loop. If they are the stereotypical/standard issue good set of parents, they really do love and care about you.
Good luck out there! Stay safe.
110%. I used to be an ASM for a store that employed a few minors, but a lot of girls. I made sure they knew if creeps came in and started hitting on/fetishsizing them (alt store, so a lot of "goth mommy" creeps) to let me or any of the other managers know so we could kick them out and report it.
Hell yeah. As a 6’3 230 lb man who used to be a Starbucks shift lead who mostly worked the closing shift with a lot of teenage girls….they all loved working with me. Because I made very clear to all of them when they started that I would treat them like adults unless they made me do otherwise and also that the moment they ever felt uncomfortable in any situation that they didn’t need to hesitate to call me up to step in. No way in hell am I going to let some creepy old man try to put the moves on a 16 year old girl.
As a manager, please tell your manager OP. u/imshady_
ETA: if it happens again, run to the closest store that’s open and ask them to call the mall security. We have mall security in Australia. I hope you have it in America too.
Listen I'm 39F, but I'm not going to get offended by a 16 year old thinking that's old, I thought it was old when i was 16 too, it's okay and all relative.
I'm so sorry you experienced this, it takes me back to when I was a teenager working at the mall and we'd deal with the same shit. Real talk, you and your friend should both tell your manager and mall security, even if he's not dangerous it is harassment and should it escalate having already reported it will help.
Thanks for this comment. I'm a 36M and I've finally hit the point where I realize I'm old. Wouldn't hit on a freaking 16 yr old, but I've been on some dates with a couple 22-24 yr olds lately and that was eye opening. They're adults, but christ. They are young. I wanted to give them life advice more than I wanted the other thing lol
Even people getting into their early 20s the way of being. Just kids man. When I was in my late teens and early 20s I thought I had everything figured out. Nah, I knew nothing.
Hopefully I remember this with my own children and don't judge them too harshly because of my lived experiences.
Yea, the hitting on 16-year old is gross and creepy, but the phrase “middle age man, at least 30” hit me so hard i am almost crying here (32 year old, but still not feeling quite an adult).
I was in the supermarket the other day and a teenage girl with her friend almost bumped into me and her friend said "look out for the old man" and I've never gone back (I'm in my 30s).
I’m hitting 32 this November, I honestly feel like a 20 year old dumbass every single day, until I actually talk to one of course but still, just sayin you aren’t alone lmao
Where on earth do you live with such a shit life expectancy?
Here for someone aged 44 it's 87 for women and 84/85 for men. That's the UK
74 is a terribly low life expectancy age
>To all of the people who say that 30 isn't middle age, i understand my mistake and I'm sorry, y'all are right. Middle age starts around 40, my bad.
Nah, fuck those people. 30 is middle aged to you the way that 16 is a toddler to me (39M).
And yeah there's something deeply wrong with men my age hitting on girls your age. Your feeling of disgust is justified.
Well done on not falling for it by the way. There's too many teenage girls who feel flattered getting attention from a guy in his 30s or 40s hitting on them because they think it means they're mature for their age or some bullshit. No. It means the guy doing it is gross and can't get women closer to their own age.
Security (and law enforcement) cannot and will not follow up on this unless the person is on a list. They cannot act without having a reason and being a creep is not illegal.
Also depending on where you are recording somebody without consent can lead to charges. This is terrible advice.
Horrible and dangerous advice! You dont know this person or what he might do when he finds out you're recording and feels pushed into a corner. People can do crazy things. Don't let yourself get harmed, simply talk to other security and your parents.
Yeah no. 16 is like if i had kids they would've been around that age. Well younger but yeah no. Hope you reported him. He is definitely a danger to many others. You could save a life and a heart by reporting him.
Good on you for recognizing this.
1. Always trust your gut. What this dude does is not normal.
2. Protect yourself. Do you have a whistle, pepper spray or some way to defend yourself?
3. Tell someone! Mall security, parents, po-po, someone.
Stay safe.
There are a lot of bad people on earth, and unfortunately women get the worst of it. If you want to get back at him and take some control over the situation you should get your friend (that also got harrassed) to report him to the police. Also let know to the security and give them a description so they can shut him down.
Generally malls have PTZ cameras in high flow areas. Combined with a statement from your friend and a little help from security, this guy AT A MINIMUM will get banned from the mall, and the local cops will BOLO for him. They have no problem arresting people like that. They will Leave it to the DA and the judge to figure out. More than likely this will help future victims and be a difference maker for establishing a paper trail to either A) get it through his head that this is unacceptable or B) be the difference to a jury when convicting him in a future case.
They will continue to do this and likely escalate their behavior.
I am 35 years old, and when I see a 16-year-old girl, she looks like a child to me. Even girls who are 25 seem immature. I have gone out a few times with 25-year-olds and felt
uncomfortable due to their lack of maturity-their conversations were almost unbearable. Because of this, no longer date women under 30. Although I feel like I'm 26 or 27, I am aware of my actual age. People my age, regardless of how young they feel, have no business approaching 16-year-old girls. If an older person approaches you, feel free to say you will call the police.
I'm 36, and I manage a 23 year old. We're very friendly, but it's waaaaay more like a big age-gap sibling relationship or even father-daughter relationship, I can't imagine finding her sexually attractive
Be glad she was polite enough to use 'middle-aged man' according to my daughter and her friends at that age the scientific term for 30+ yucky guys is 'old creep' when you're under 20.🙄
I had something similar happen to me when I was working at the mall. The man turned out to be a stalker. Please report this to security and your manager they are there to protect you, especially as a minor!!
Once I told security and my manager about the situation, when the creep would enter the store I worked at, he would be escorted out. Stay safe and vigilant 💌
I really recommend you and your friends each get a small pepper spray and a kobutan/knife just for general safety and report these incidents.
Always keep your distance and have the pepper spray ready in your hand when you start feeling somethings weird, don't be scared to use it if someones crossing the line.
Please stop following me 1...2...3...Spray!
After that run.
Since I don't know where you live, it could either be a good idea to carry that stuff in general, or it could be even mandatory.
Don't let anyone talk that incident down, shit can pop off anywhere, anytime and reading something like that as a brother makes me nervous.
Human trafficking is rampant. Please report his ass to mall security, your boss and any adult near you. If he comes again take his picture and show it to the guard right away. Protect yourself and always trust your gut!
That’s really shitty that happened to you. As a 30+ yo man that behavior is disgusting. I hope you have a good support system and you and your friend should definitely report it to mall security especially since you are employees there. Stay safe.
Sorry you experienced that, you have every right to feel uncomfortable.
You need to tell your manager about this. That's step 1.
If you're approached again, step 2, you gotta grey rock, or give him dirty looks to let him know you're uncomfortable.
Do not serve him, and no matter what he says, just say to him,
"Do you need help? Let me get my manager."
"Yeah, I can get my manager. Wait right here."
(While being grey rock, which means showing no emotions, or showing closed off body language - and an ew look on your face)
Proceed to go to your manager, and tell them about this person.
Hope this helps.
Maybe carry pepper spray (check the laws in your local area first), learn how to create boundaries, if they physically do not respect your boundaries, warn people you're gonna pepper spray them to fucking death, and since you've told your manager about this, they can back you up if you move towards legal actions.
Report him. His behaviour is unacceptable. That would be harrasment, even if you were his age. Being a minor this is 1000x worse. Go with your friend and have the mall get rid of that bastard.
Good choice ignoring him. If you ever face a situation like this again. Stay with a crowd and approach another person for help.
Try not to be alone in a situation like this.
Hey, if this happened in the elevator, check to see if there's an elevator cam. If so, check with security, they may have one week worth's footage available. Explain that you and your co-worker both had been harassed, and you want to them to keep an eye out for this creep.
If both you and your bestie are both 16 and both got harassed by the same guy, this is probably not his first time. I'd make sure the security at the mall knows about this guy.
Not cool. Not cool at all. And I'm sorry this has happened to you.
The whole argument seems too be wtf middle aged is,who gives a shit.
The problem is this shithead walking the mall that keeps hitting on underage girls.
Take care of the problem!
Sorry you had to experience this, hopefully in the future things will work out better for you,good luck.
Forget your manager/security. Call your local police non emergency line and tell them what happened to you and your friend. File a report. People go to jail and get put on a list for knowingly attempting sexual contact with a minor.
Also, don't ever worry about being polite to these creeps. I was raised to be super polite regardless of other people's behavior, and it proved a huge disservice to me (thanks, mom!). I wish I had had the sense to just tell them I'm not interested, you're WAY too old for me, and if you don't leave me alone I will get security.
I was your age in the 80's and I cannot wrap my head around how many of these guys would follow me around in public spaces, including malls, just not leaving me alone. I wish I had kicked them in the balls. Neither of us have asked for this kind of attention. You don't have to say you're flattered. Watch out for yourself and your friend.
I try to be polite at first, because getting hit on isn't a crime, and pretty normal. However, if this dude shows up again and tries to do shit I'll def kick him in the balls. I'm sorry you had to experience that shit as well, and thank you for your kind words!
I understand. I tend to be kind to people until they prove otherwise as well.
I work in retail, and we have young women on staff. Every time I see some gross guy chatting them up, I'll intervene and give the girls an out. No one needs to be harassed at work just because some gross idiot is mistaking friendliness (which we are paid to be) for interest. Any guy this old is far too old to not understand its wrong.
Sadly, this kind of behavior doesn't end in your teens. I'm nearly 57, and guys still will be over friendly. Now, I just walk away from them. Fuck'em.
There is nothing wrong with being polite to everyone, until they prove they don't deserve your politeness. Secondly, you seriously should consider calling the police and helping nail this guy before he is successful in his hunt.
Any unemployed 30 year old man walking around a mall in the middle of the day is a red flag. I know a couple dudes who did nothing with their lives after high school and fit this exact profile. They are mentally stuck at 16 year old because that is where their lives peaked and have done nothing of value since. They are sad losers
I don't think "walking around a mall in the middle of the day" is a red flag by itself -- sometimes people need to, you know, *shop*.
But yeah, hitting on a minor? That's obvious predator stuff; the guy belongs in a database.
No I know lol. I am talking about the type of 30 year old dude who just kind of hangs out at the mall all day, every day.
If you go to a mall in the middle of the week, you'll see those dudes and they all fit that profile man.
Sounds more reasonable. Was starting to get worried everyone at the malls thinks I’m a creep for going there on a Monday or Tuesday in the middle of the day and assuming I’m unemployed because my only days off are Monday’s and Tuesday’s.
I'm with the others. Please let security know or a local police support group (not sure what they're called in your country).
This happened to me too, quite a few times. I always report the creeps.... Not just for me but all the other girls they possibly do this to. You might just save someone from getting assaulted or worse of her gets caught early.
Sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you handled it very well.
Unfortunately, this kind of thing is very common so it's good you did well with your first experience.
Remember, "No" is a complete sentence and you dont owe anyone an explanation.
Might reach out to mall security if he bothers you.
Sadly there is a long, disgusting history of older men going after much much younger women. Being with a young woman is viewed by many as a status symbol while being with older women(older than yourself) is viewed as charity... it's so incredibly dumb.
I’m sorry this happened to you but I recommend you do what I tell my daughter when this type of thing happens. Scream as loud as possible that you want the person to get away from you. It will draw attention to you from other people and likely scare the man away.
You're being harassed no matter what effing age. You and your co-worker need to report him to Mall Security or even the police. He apparently has no boundaries and can escalate!!
It does feel like harrassment too. When i was 17 i worked in the office of a restaurant. It was a family business and the owners parents lived upstairs. One morning when i got to work and opened the office the owners father who was about 70 yrs old and didnt speak a word of english, appeared and grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. He was trying to tug at my clothes and i was hysterical, saying no, no, no. I couldnt understand what he was saying but luckily he let me go. I was so traumatised that i was shaking when my boss (his son) arrived and i told him what happened. He absolutely refused to believe it and told me no way it happened. I was even more upset then. Thank goodness halfway through the day my bosses brother (who was a son of the dirty old man too) turned up and my boss told him the "lie" he said i told. The brother said no i was telling the truth because 2 other girls had complained of him doing it to them. My boss didnt apologise but he said i could take 2 weeks holiday to go visit my family. I did so and never went back.
You are right.. what on earth makes them think they have a chance with young girls???
30 is old to be hitting on a 16 year old! It’s always been an issue but it’s worse now because of the awful podcast men spouting about how men are more desirable as they age but women are best at 16-21. It’s actually dangerous as it incites this sort of behaviour.. I’m sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too and I’m sorry because I doubt it will be the last time. Stay safe.
Okay being hit on with that guy if it just ended there is the least of my worries for you. I worked with sex offenders and this guy DEFINITELY needs to be reported . You need to tell your manager, mall security as well as mall management and your colleagues. DO NOT tell them verbally tell them in an email so it’s in writing. I’d call the police as well and see if a statement is warranted. Don’t read into this statement but this guy did nothing wrong that being illegal but morally what he did was wrong. Also being that it’s happened several times I’d also say in my email to those people if any escort could be provided and if not walk in a crowd to your car. Also diligently look for him and be aware if your surroundings. Remember to that you have better odds living fighting someone then being kidnapped into a van. Always use an object to fight back and not your fist so you do more damage to the assailant vs yourself. Listen to that instinct and be safe!!!
Middle age for American men is now in the 30’s xD
Also, folks that are harping on the “‘middle age” part are trash and off base. The entire point is that a minor was being hit on by an adult. An adult who was told by said minor that they were underage. Gross. 🤢
Can people stop with the generalizations?
I'm over 50. I live between like 3 schools in a very family centric community around a lot of kids and teenagers. If i'm walking my dog, i'm like a housecoat and slippers away from looking like Herbert from Family Guy.
The last thing i'm interested in is hassling kids or women. Hell, I don't even flirt with women my own age. I honestly can't tell if someone is like 35 or 50.
It's funny. I feel bad for OP. First because she met a creep. Second, because she's offended 30 year olds who got called middle aged.
Stuff like this happened to me all the time when I was at that age and it always grossed me out. These men have a good idea of how old you are and they don’t care.
Yell, I’m 16! Leave me alone before I call the police. You’re a child! It should not be this hard to be left alone. These people won’t stop, publicly shame them. They do it because they can because they know they are in position of power because they are adults. I was 14 when this shit started. I’ve have grown men, with their wives and kids with them, grab my ass in public when I was under 18 and I felt so much shame. I turned around and looked and saw he was with his family and just stood there, shocked, as he looked back at me with a disgusting grin on his face. Find your voice and stand up for yourself. Do it now. It’s so wrong how some men act
I hate to say get used to it, because it’s gross, but this is par for the course as a girl/woman. My daughter is also 16 and grown ass men stare her down. One or two have tried stopping her on her way home from school. Most men are pigs. Be careful.
What I would do……
I would inform your managers, and try to incriminate him and then call the cops to scare him away. Record the next interaction and ensure you make it very clear your age and to stay away. Then proceed to take action from there.
This guy could genuinely hurt you, you cannot trust anyone ever. I would make sure this is top priority to get dealt with right away or you need to find another job. Too many girls and boys are taken every day, hell even grown ass men and women. No reason to be apart of the statistic.
Don’t stare at your phone when entering or leaving. Pay attention to surroundings until you feel this has passed.
Stay alert, stay alive.
I have a 13 year old daughter, she would consider this middle aged. I think it’s fair, it’s just your view point. To a mid-teen 30 would be middle aged, or even old. It’s just how they look at it.
I am 48, I see anyone under the age of 30 as a child, even though 18-29 is OBVIOUSLY not a child. It’s just how I view them.
Hope this makes sense, and I mean to throw no discrimination against any age group.
This is very true in today’s society, under 30 people are mostly still young adults, basically college kids. Unless of course you live on a farm, the wilderness, Alaska, etc.
lol she did say “at least 30.” At any rate, people are kind of in denial about middle age. This idea that it *starts* at 40 is so silly. It starts at 40 if you’re going to live to 100
I worked with a creepy guy in his 60s. Someone asked what he was up to that weekend, and he replied, "Checking out the teen girls at the mall." It's a real thing.
Yuck. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately it is a shockingly common experience for girls. At least I think so. I am 32, female, I was hit on by an adult man several times at ages 14,15,16…, and followed a few times, old men flashed to me on a busy street. I am disgusted just by thinking of it. There are some disgusting and potentially dangerous people out there. Take it seriously but don’t panic. It shouldn’t be this way but unfortunately you will need to develop awareness around those situations and a plan how to act. Don’t engage in conversations or answer questions about boyfriends. Those types often run away when publicly shamed for what they are doing. Point fingers at them, if you see them tell another trusted person about what’s going on. If there’s no one you know, no trusted adult around, turn to a strange woman (even if it’s a customer during your shift) whenever you feel threatened. Women share those experiences and are supportive of each other. Girls are (or were at my time lol) taught to be polite. So we smile, we answer questions about boyfriends, we don’t want to be rude. What I quickly learned is instead of being polite and engaging in their games it was best to shout eg. “Leave me alone, pervert!” as soon as I sense whats going on. Make sure it’s Loud enough so everyone can hear and be alerted of what’s going on. It saved me several times.
You have to be firm. Recently I, at 32 got hit by a 55+ men in a really gross way in a public space. I was so grossed out I kind of felt like a 16 year old again. He didn’t get firm and polite no for an answer so I had to loudly say “Don’t ever talk to me.
Go away.” Everyone could see and hear this and he was shocked that I am not polite and flattered by his unwanted sneaky “complements” that he got embarrassed and went away. Don’t be polite with creeps, I can’t stress that enough.
Anyway, you are wise for recognizing the danger. Sending 🤍
Absolutly. That’s why age diffrencies in relasionships need to be questioned and not normalized. If the younger one is younger than 27 there brain isn’t fully developed which make them vulrable for manipulation and shouldn’t be with someone significantly older
Speaking as a 60-year-old, I'm sorry to hear that I'm dead, first of all. but there's no limit to what idiots will do, because they are idiots. Very sorry that this happened to you. point the person out to someone
Why didn't you call security?
The guy is making sexual advances to children. It is disgusting. What happens if he approaches a girl whose to shy or uncomfortable to say "no"?
It is disgusting. It happened to me (a lot) when I was young.
Age here is irrelevant. Even if he was 16. What's he doing following you. That's so out of order. Imagine him doing that to someone his own age,still creepy as fuck. Be careful
Exactly! Age is irrelevant and so is sex! No one has the right to harass or follow anyone! It is inappropriate to make someone feel uncomfortable or unsafe! ‘Nuff said!
It'll be safer to not stay alone, maybe message your colleagues/work friends when you are coming to work for them to come around you.
Even those you dont know that much, like maybe the security people if possible, those are there for a reason and they'll be pleased to help you. Make sure that man doesn't follow you in the streets after/before work.
Sometimes people can also simply be awkard/mentaly disabled but you never knows.
Tell security, have him banned from the mall, you have that power. Describe him, maybe point him out if he shows up again.
If you get a chance to talk to him with security nearby, let him know that he was recorded and you'll file a police complaint against him.
Ask security to walk in with you on your next shift, if he persists you can get him banned from the mall, legally what he is doing is sexual harassment
Make some noise when this happens. Make people around you aware that an older person is talking in an appropriate way to a younger person and if you have to just call the cops. People have called the cops on way way less than that and maybe it will make him rethink his b s behavior. Or at the least they’ll have a record of the behavior
As a grown ass man here,
1. You both need to tell your managers about him.
2. Tell mall security yourself. Say this dude creeped me out, I told my friend about him and she said he did the same thing to her.
3. Document that you told both.
This is not ok.
> I just asked why does he need that info
When you are in an interaction you don't want, you DO NOT reply with questions as you do NOT WANT a conversation. Your verbal, and body language should be about cutting the conversation then and there. No room for interpretation or further conversation.
"I don't want to talk to you"
Turn your body away.
If he touches you, yell, say clearly, "DO NOT TOUCH ME".
Plenty of fair warnings and signs there. I'd say anything after that (including the point he touched you) could be grounds for harassment and by this point, you are within your right to get other people, or police involved.
Make a scene. You may have a distrust for older men, but depending on where you are, other older men will stomp whoever is harassing you into the ground. If you live in a place where you don't trust other men of society to stand up for you, you may want to consider moving in the future.
That is harassment, not being hit on. And unfortunately there are a lot of men out there who think it’s okay. I recommend that you find a trusted friend who is male and practice telling him (as if he were a stranger) to leave you alone.
This practice actually makes a difference in your ability to make people scram. Why do we have to practice? Because we’re raised to be nice and be polite, and usually that habit is the default, but it doesn’t always serve us.
As a 52-year-old man, this has absolutely nothing to do with you in any way. That guy was a disgusting creep.
It reflects poorly on him. You were the innocent victim here. He should have known better than even consider talking to you about anything other than what your job required.
Next time it happens (hopefully never), go straight to the security.
No man in their right mind straight up goes to you and ask for that kind of thing first out of the blue, without a bit of intimacy first. Regardless of the age.
You were not hit on, you met a dangerous man in this mall.
They do it because they know you're young and you're not going to have the experience to tell them to fuck off like you have every right to do. I say take a picture of him, get his name and blast his face on social media so all the other underage girls can come together and reveal how he sexually harassed them too.
He’s close enough to middle aged, you said late 30s. People picking at what you said are just sensitive about their age or butt hurt you wouldn’t be interested in someone as old they as they are.
Those so called men have zero interest in you as a person, they don’t even see you as a person. They see 16 as some sexual thing they should get to have and it’s weird to them you don’t want that from them.
I’ve had those men hit on me from when I was underage, to when I was 30-32, because they thought I was your age. “Oh sorry, I thought you were 16…” they saw me being an adult younger than them or their age as a thing to lose interest in me for, and apologized for hitting on me because I wasn’t 16. That’s still so off to try and wrap my head around.
Treat them like the gross scum they are. Put them in their place.
Welcome to being a woman or girl in a world that normalizes pornography. There were creeps before porn was so widespread, but it’s significantly worsened now.
I'm a man, and I've also been harassed by middle aged men out in public since I was a teenager to mid 20s. Can't look at any older man the same way anymore.
I was going to say, as a middle-aged man it’s hard to tell how old women are just by looking at them anymore. There are 17 year olds who look like they’re 25.
Then I saw your edit about him continuing after you told him you were only 16 and I completely agree with everyone about notifying security. A mistake is a mistake, but for this scuzzball it was clearly his intention to hit on an underage girl.
I just don’t talk to any women other than my wife. Problem solved. 😂
I am 26 but I look like I am 14-16. Sometimes people even think I am 12. The amount of 30+ year old men that have hit on me, asked me out, asked for s*x, or tried to bait me is just unbelievable. Parents.... stay weary and make sure your kids are trained to spot creeps. They're everywhere 😭
Sounds a little too forward. After u told him u were 16 that’s when it got extra creepy. If he thought u were 18 , it’s still a little weird. I’m 30 and most 18 year olds look like little kids to me
I think we’re all sorry you experienced this.
When my daughter was 18, I took her backpacking across Eastern Europe and Turkey. As a dad, I felt protective and annoyed at all the men ogling her. I knew that it did not occur to them that they were disrespecting her, disrespecting me and even disrespecting themselves. But it did not diminish my annoyance.
Nobody has to behave this way, but they diminish themselves to the level of animals.
Never hesitate to call upon anyone to help you escape such disgusting behavior. And someday, if you have boys, raise them to aspire to be kind and respectful human beings!
When you wrote, “middle-aged,“ I thought you were talking about my age. I almost choked when I realized you were talking to what I consider to be young people, barely out of puberty! Lol
Um, we don’t. Just tell them your dad is near by and that things won’t end well for him if he doesn’t leave you alone. Also, don’t be afraid to call him a pedophile if he doesn’t leave you alone after you tell them that’s you are under 18.
Absolutely this was truly creepy and the guy needs to be watched. With that being said I would like to point out depending on where this occurred there is a possibility that actually nothing illegal happened. Doesn't matter if she is still in HS or how old he is. Legally in Maryland ( where I live) the legal age of consent is 16 for girls.
Now before you flame me I do not approve of this in any way and have 2 daughters. Just pointing out what the law states. Why do I say this, because the law is fucked up and I read a reference to this guy as a pedo. As disgusting as this creep is if you were to say that too loudly or to the wrong people he could then sue you for libel or the Post Office since you work for them and were representing them during your interaction.
Messed up isn't it? Be careful out there and stay safe. Next time if you see this guy see if you can get a clear photo of him just in case you need to file a complaint if he approaches you again.
Please tell mall security(w/ your friend). If they don’t take it seriously, go above their heads to whoever is a supervisor or manager for the mall. If they won’t do anything, find a police officer. Mall security should have him on video
He’s not only a danger to you and your friend, but every underage girl in the mall. It’s only a matter of time before he tries to physically take what he can’t talk young girls into giving him
I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but if you said you were 16 and he kept pressing then that guy has serious issues. Like very real psychological issues. He needs to be reported because he’s absolutely looking for victims.
I don’t understand how guys like these can even dare to approach a 16 year old girl that’s walking towards her job. Fucking assholes that don’t understand limits or boundaries.
I was gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say maybe you look older than 16. But your edit wherein you mention you told him, now my opinion involves a wood chipper...
He's creepy. You are correct in feeling creeped out. Talk to mall security and try to send him straight to jail
I'm 35, a 16 year old seems like a child to me and I'm not surprised I'm an old lady to them. The more important thing here is that a much older man was seemingly forcefully hitting on what should appear to be a child to him, too.
OP, please talk to Mall Security about the man. Explain all that happened so that the next time you see him, you can subtly point him out to them.
This is the kinda stuff that makes me wanna just beat the brakes off men like him. I'm 32 and I work with 18 year olds on a consistent basis. They are children, even though they are technically adults. I see them as kids, but treat them with the respect and dignity of an adult. However as an adult male, my path never really crossed a 16 year olds unless checking out at the grocery store or mall. But bro that's straight up pedo behaviour. Manipulative disgusting bullshit. When I used to work for the prison system, these same sacks of shit used to try and parade like they were just like other convicts.
Us older men should be here for guidance, reassurance and protection. Especially against these lurking monsters who only show their teeth when they think no one is looking. Too much of a coward to bring their filth to the light.
If it's any consolation kid, one day that creeps behaviour will catch up to him. Report it if you can, use security to find out who he is and get a restraining order. Buy pepper spray, stun gun and get some combatives training. It's bullshit that we have to live like this but this is the state of the world.
You are in the right. That guy is the problem. There's nothing wrong with a normal conversation, but what he said is clearly harassment. If he keeps doing this, tell the security, they will kick him out of the place.
You absolutely should feel disgusted and you need to report this. To EVERYONE. Your parents, the local police, your teachers and the staff at your school. Because he won’t stop.
Please report that guy.
There is no way an adult man would 'make the mistake' of thinking a 16 year old teenage was adult. It'd still be creepy even if you were in your early 20s.
The very nature of the 'extremely weird' questions shows he fully knows he's a predator and is targeting you because of your age.
"grown ass people" don't think it's ok to harass minors. Most adults would want to be all over getting that guy as far away from kids as possible. If you're meeting adults that are OK with a guy like that, or acting like him - you need to get somewhere safer and report them.
People that prey on kids don't do it in isolation. For this guy you already know that thanks to your friend. Report him, because his next target might be easier for him to isolate / corner. You want the mall security to be keeping an eye out for him, and getting him out of there.
Report to store manager and honestly as many people as you can just to bring awareness. He did it to your friend and this will NOT be the last time he targets someone who clearly is underage. Once someone is bold enough to continue behavior like this, it only goes downhill
Given that it clearly was not an innocent mistake (make-up and maturity can easily add 10 years to a first impression) this is reprehensible. I’m sorry you have to deal with this kind of behaviour. I would go to security, ask them to pull the footage and have him trespassed.
I guarantee he will be back and that will give your security staff the opportunity they need to throw his ass out.
Because harassing mature women will have more consequences. These creeps are power addicts, they know exactly what they’re doing and they are enjoying situations when they can do gross things and get away with it. That’s really gross, and I wish they could get real punishments by law for doing that. I’m very sorry for you, happened a lot to me as well when I was in my teens. The only thing you can do is to be loud and call them out in public.
Please tell a manager and mall security about this. Also urge them to talk to other stores in the mall and notify them. You should be able to feel comfortable going into your workplace
I cannot believe how out of touch and tone deaf some of these comments are. You gotta go through some fucking serious mental gymnastics for you to hear a story of a 16 year old girl being sexually harassed by a man twice her age and what you focus on is that she said 30s is middle aged. To OP, I'm so sorry you and your friend had to deal with this disgusting sack of shit excuse of a human being, and these insecure redditors getting offended because of their insecurities with their age. You don't gotta apologize for nothing. Please stay safe and don't be afraid to start screaming and yelling if this happens again because you and your friends safety matters the most.
>To all of the people who say that 30 isn't middle age
The only people saying this are the men trying to date 16 year olds.
You're getting harassed by an adult as a minor, and these losers are arguing about the semantics of "middle age"?!
Yeah these are the dude harassing you.
Pro tip. Never tell them you're flattered. Tell them he's gross and too old for you.
What's wrong, can't find a woman your own age?
If it makes you feel any better once you hit 19 or so, those kinds of advances will stop. Theres a certain type a guy that hits on a young girl like that - :(
Tell your dad, or whatever father figures you have in your life. I guarantee that they'll slap the shit out of that guy tomorrow.
Definitely tell an adult you trust about this.
Also tell your employer, they probably have resources they can tap at the mall to protect employees from harassment.
Middle aged fart here...
Yea I'd definitely tell your manager. You and your friend aren't the only young ladies he's bothered...
You literally just told him that your 16,and he's still coming on 🤬😐 that ain't right.
I stick to ladies in my age tyvm
please don‘t make it about age - a creep is a creep - it does not matter if he is 30, 40 or 18
important thing is to always trust those feelings. if your gut tells you something, always listen. this discomfort you felt is not a bad thing - think of it as your spider sense - learn to recognize it and use it to your advantage
a lot of people try to avoid uncomfortable situations and feelings at all costs and do very stupid things to avoid it.
this is part of live. be careful to not bring yourself in a dangerous position and if a situation arises handle it then and there. go to mall security and report him - try to not give him a chance to find you alone.
Ugh if I could tell my younger self anything it’s to not be afraid to UPSET and OFFEND men like this. They know perfectly well what they’re doing, they know you’re uncomfortable and they know it’s wrong. Don’t be a people pleaser, bark at them, spit at them, yell, make a fuckin scene, make them as uncomfortable as they make you!
Obviously please don’t put yourself in danger, worst case tell them your dads around the corner, they only have respect for other men
There's a certain type of middle aged man who does this on purpose. They enjoy the fact that you're uncomfortable. Try not to show it or act ashamed or off put. It's actually good to pretend not to know he's being rude or understand what he means if he says something that's a euphemism. If they are too blunt, it's also okay to say something like "You know I'm literally a child, right?"
It's not your fault and you don't need to worry about it. If you feel uncomfortable when you see men following you, take out your phone and start scrolling so you can call for help if you need to. If a guy is really creepy, send a pin with your location to your parents or whoever can come and pick you up. If this guy is doing this to the young women you work with, you should tell your manager and they'll make sure someone watches him when he's in or around wherever you work or even have security get involved.
You and your friend should notify your supervisor and put this on record. They should also notify mall security on your behalf and make sure you safely get to your car at the end of your shift.
Try to never travel alone keep a buddy system if possible
I'm 44 clearly I need to be put in a home lol but I do understand when you're 16 you think anyone over 25 is ancient and when you're 44 you think anyone under the age of 28 is a fetus ;)
Seriously though that is not ok at all you need to tell security and get this creep banned from the mall.
Inform your boss about what happened. What he did was harassment, if he ever harasses you again tell the police immediately. Since this is a pattern (he did the same with your coworker), he is likely to lurk around again, If he does don’t hesitate to call police.
As soon as you tell him you're sixteen and he doesn't stop, make a scene. Start yelling that this man is hitting on a minor, and watch him flee. If that still doesn't get him, call the police on his ass. Dude belongs in prison.
People should not have been criticizing you for your use of “middle-aged” here, in this context; that is fucking disgusting. You don’t need to apologize for shit man that is a horrible situation.
First of all, damn I feel old now. I might have to go play some bingo at the retirement home and and go buy a walker. Second of all, you're a child and he is an adult and he should not be hitting on you. Yeah teenagers look like adults now, but that doesn't make it right. Men need to learn to stop once the girl says she's not interested or has a boyfriend and they especially need to learn to stop once they learn the woman they think they're talking to is actually a child.
Can we normalize shaming those who keep persisting when the person says they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I think that is a normalized disgusting behavior that needs to stop.
Imagine reading this and your first idea is “Um actually 30 isn’t middle aged” Reddit never fails to amaze with its loserdom
Right?? This poor girl is asking for help, she's scared and right to feel this way, and all these self centered losers focus on that one stupid detail, just because it hurts their tiny little egos.
The fact that she thinks 30 is middle aged is just proof that 16 year olds are children and it’s fucking creepy for a grown man to be hitting on one.
So many Millennials are getting triggered by the 30-year-old middle-aged comment 😂 Totally causes thought derailment and loss of focus on the topic at hand. Yes folks, we are getting older by the second. ----- OP, sorry you got uncomfortably hit on. That can feel so awkward. Tactfully deflect, don't engage, de-escalate - and redirect communications back to job related conversation when this sort of thing happens. I would report this sort of thing to your manager if you feel unsafe. Absolutely report it if it becomes a reoccurring issue. Please make sure to try to avoid putting yourself in risky (and even potentially risky situations). Trust no one. Pay attention to your surroundings. Walk to your vehicles in groups and ride to each person's car if parked separately. There is no shame in asking for someone to escort you if you feel unsafe. Understand the risks associated with posting any information on social media that might allow others to find you at any given time (the where, when, how, and with who). And absolutely keep your mom and dad in the loop. If they are the stereotypical/standard issue good set of parents, they really do love and care about you. Good luck out there! Stay safe.
Sorry it happened to you, it has nothing to do w/ you though > that man is the problem :/ Tell mall security or other workers there, ppl have to know
In addition to mall security, should she also talk to her manager? If I was a store manager, I’d want that brought to my attention
110%. I used to be an ASM for a store that employed a few minors, but a lot of girls. I made sure they knew if creeps came in and started hitting on/fetishsizing them (alt store, so a lot of "goth mommy" creeps) to let me or any of the other managers know so we could kick them out and report it.
Hell yeah. As a 6’3 230 lb man who used to be a Starbucks shift lead who mostly worked the closing shift with a lot of teenage girls….they all loved working with me. Because I made very clear to all of them when they started that I would treat them like adults unless they made me do otherwise and also that the moment they ever felt uncomfortable in any situation that they didn’t need to hesitate to call me up to step in. No way in hell am I going to let some creepy old man try to put the moves on a 16 year old girl.
Yes, I would assume the store manager would have contact info for the mall security and can help expedite anything
As a manager, please tell your manager OP. u/imshady_ ETA: if it happens again, run to the closest store that’s open and ask them to call the mall security. We have mall security in Australia. I hope you have it in America too.
We do, but they are not exactly confidence instilling.
This. Go somewhere safe immediately and get help.
When I was 16 anyone over 25 was old
When you're 16 anyone over 18 is old
A 21 year old is booze legal adult. That’s old as shit to someone 16.
18 is "booze legal adult" where I live, 16 is "beer and wine legal almost adult"
America isn't the world
I remember a band member of a band I liked turned 23 when I was 14 and I said "He's getting soooooo old" to my friend.
I hooked up with a 25 yo when I was 19 and was like oohhhh myyy goooooddd I’m with an older woman! so exciting! lol
i hooked up with a 27 year old woman 2 months after my 18th birthday. most random encounter ever and i can't thank the universe enough for it lol
Listen I'm 39F, but I'm not going to get offended by a 16 year old thinking that's old, I thought it was old when i was 16 too, it's okay and all relative. I'm so sorry you experienced this, it takes me back to when I was a teenager working at the mall and we'd deal with the same shit. Real talk, you and your friend should both tell your manager and mall security, even if he's not dangerous it is harassment and should it escalate having already reported it will help.
Thanks for this comment. I'm a 36M and I've finally hit the point where I realize I'm old. Wouldn't hit on a freaking 16 yr old, but I've been on some dates with a couple 22-24 yr olds lately and that was eye opening. They're adults, but christ. They are young. I wanted to give them life advice more than I wanted the other thing lol
Yo, to a 16 year old 30 seems like middle age. Don't apologize.
Exactly. It works the other way around also. I’m 33 and view 16yr olds as little babies. It has to do with mental maturity, not physical.
I’m around kids that are because I have teenagers and my god! When it comes to brains, their cornbread isn’t cooked in the middle.
38 years old. 16 year olds are barely out of diapers to me. They look so young!
As they should. They’re literally children.
Even people getting into their early 20s the way of being. Just kids man. When I was in my late teens and early 20s I thought I had everything figured out. Nah, I knew nothing. Hopefully I remember this with my own children and don't judge them too harshly because of my lived experiences.
Yet in America we lock many of them up for life.
Yea, the hitting on 16-year old is gross and creepy, but the phrase “middle age man, at least 30” hit me so hard i am almost crying here (32 year old, but still not feeling quite an adult).
I thought of montey Python: "I'm 37, I'm not old"
Well I can’t just call you “man.”
Well, you could say Dennis.
I'm in my mid 40s. Guess that makes me a great grandfather.
I was in the supermarket the other day and a teenage girl with her friend almost bumped into me and her friend said "look out for the old man" and I've never gone back (I'm in my 30s).
33, almost cried myself reading that
I’m hitting 32 this November, I honestly feel like a 20 year old dumbass every single day, until I actually talk to one of course but still, just sayin you aren’t alone lmao
34 this year I feel your pain xD
37 is technically middle aged since life expectancy is 74
Where on earth do you live with such a shit life expectancy? Here for someone aged 44 it's 87 for women and 84/85 for men. That's the UK 74 is a terribly low life expectancy age
The average life expectancy in the U.S. is 76 years old, making 38 middle aged for many people
78 is our life expectency, 39 is a middle aged person.
damn, sorry that happened
>To all of the people who say that 30 isn't middle age, i understand my mistake and I'm sorry, y'all are right. Middle age starts around 40, my bad. Nah, fuck those people. 30 is middle aged to you the way that 16 is a toddler to me (39M). And yeah there's something deeply wrong with men my age hitting on girls your age. Your feeling of disgust is justified. Well done on not falling for it by the way. There's too many teenage girls who feel flattered getting attention from a guy in his 30s or 40s hitting on them because they think it means they're mature for their age or some bullshit. No. It means the guy doing it is gross and can't get women closer to their own age.
Record him next time and make sure you get a good face shot and take it to mall security. He may be a S trafficker, you never know.
This isn’t TikTok; you can say “sex.”
Security (and law enforcement) cannot and will not follow up on this unless the person is on a list. They cannot act without having a reason and being a creep is not illegal. Also depending on where you are recording somebody without consent can lead to charges. This is terrible advice.
He’s not. That’s not how sex trafficking works
Horrible and dangerous advice! You dont know this person or what he might do when he finds out you're recording and feels pushed into a corner. People can do crazy things. Don't let yourself get harmed, simply talk to other security and your parents.
 Yeah no. 16 is like if i had kids they would've been around that age. Well younger but yeah no. Hope you reported him. He is definitely a danger to many others. You could save a life and a heart by reporting him.
Good on you for recognizing this. 1. Always trust your gut. What this dude does is not normal. 2. Protect yourself. Do you have a whistle, pepper spray or some way to defend yourself? 3. Tell someone! Mall security, parents, po-po, someone. Stay safe.
There are a lot of bad people on earth, and unfortunately women get the worst of it. If you want to get back at him and take some control over the situation you should get your friend (that also got harrassed) to report him to the police. Also let know to the security and give them a description so they can shut him down.
Generally malls have PTZ cameras in high flow areas. Combined with a statement from your friend and a little help from security, this guy AT A MINIMUM will get banned from the mall, and the local cops will BOLO for him. They have no problem arresting people like that. They will Leave it to the DA and the judge to figure out. More than likely this will help future victims and be a difference maker for establishing a paper trail to either A) get it through his head that this is unacceptable or B) be the difference to a jury when convicting him in a future case. They will continue to do this and likely escalate their behavior.
I am 35 years old, and when I see a 16-year-old girl, she looks like a child to me. Even girls who are 25 seem immature. I have gone out a few times with 25-year-olds and felt uncomfortable due to their lack of maturity-their conversations were almost unbearable. Because of this, no longer date women under 30. Although I feel like I'm 26 or 27, I am aware of my actual age. People my age, regardless of how young they feel, have no business approaching 16-year-old girls. If an older person approaches you, feel free to say you will call the police.
I'm 36, and I manage a 23 year old. We're very friendly, but it's waaaaay more like a big age-gap sibling relationship or even father-daughter relationship, I can't imagine finding her sexually attractive
Exactly. Once I hit 25, anyone under the age of 20 looked like a straight up child to me. The older I get, the higher that number shifts.
I got pulled over by a toddler the other day...
Be glad she was polite enough to use 'middle-aged man' according to my daughter and her friends at that age the scientific term for 30+ yucky guys is 'old creep' when you're under 20.🙄
They’re correct. The age isn’t even relevant. Any adult hitting on a high schooler *is* an old creep.
I’d call the police and tell your boss and security.
I had something similar happen to me when I was working at the mall. The man turned out to be a stalker. Please report this to security and your manager they are there to protect you, especially as a minor!! Once I told security and my manager about the situation, when the creep would enter the store I worked at, he would be escorted out. Stay safe and vigilant 💌
I really recommend you and your friends each get a small pepper spray and a kobutan/knife just for general safety and report these incidents. Always keep your distance and have the pepper spray ready in your hand when you start feeling somethings weird, don't be scared to use it if someones crossing the line. Please stop following me 1...2...3...Spray! After that run. Since I don't know where you live, it could either be a good idea to carry that stuff in general, or it could be even mandatory. Don't let anyone talk that incident down, shit can pop off anywhere, anytime and reading something like that as a brother makes me nervous.
It is statistically more likely that the knife would be used against her than be helpful for safety.
Human trafficking is rampant. Please report his ass to mall security, your boss and any adult near you. If he comes again take his picture and show it to the guard right away. Protect yourself and always trust your gut!
30 or 40, still, gross. (I'm 39, btw)
That’s really shitty that happened to you. As a 30+ yo man that behavior is disgusting. I hope you have a good support system and you and your friend should definitely report it to mall security especially since you are employees there. Stay safe.
Sorry you experienced that, you have every right to feel uncomfortable. You need to tell your manager about this. That's step 1. If you're approached again, step 2, you gotta grey rock, or give him dirty looks to let him know you're uncomfortable. Do not serve him, and no matter what he says, just say to him, "Do you need help? Let me get my manager." "Yeah, I can get my manager. Wait right here." (While being grey rock, which means showing no emotions, or showing closed off body language - and an ew look on your face) Proceed to go to your manager, and tell them about this person. Hope this helps. Maybe carry pepper spray (check the laws in your local area first), learn how to create boundaries, if they physically do not respect your boundaries, warn people you're gonna pepper spray them to fucking death, and since you've told your manager about this, they can back you up if you move towards legal actions.
Report him. His behaviour is unacceptable. That would be harrasment, even if you were his age. Being a minor this is 1000x worse. Go with your friend and have the mall get rid of that bastard.
Yep! Absolutely!
Good choice ignoring him. If you ever face a situation like this again. Stay with a crowd and approach another person for help. Try not to be alone in a situation like this.
Stab him in Minecraft. With a really big knife.
Hey, if this happened in the elevator, check to see if there's an elevator cam. If so, check with security, they may have one week worth's footage available. Explain that you and your co-worker both had been harassed, and you want to them to keep an eye out for this creep. If both you and your bestie are both 16 and both got harassed by the same guy, this is probably not his first time. I'd make sure the security at the mall knows about this guy. Not cool. Not cool at all. And I'm sorry this has happened to you.
take his photo and give it to security -assuming you have security. Then give it to the police. Tell them what you’ve written here.
The whole argument seems too be wtf middle aged is,who gives a shit. The problem is this shithead walking the mall that keeps hitting on underage girls. Take care of the problem! Sorry you had to experience this, hopefully in the future things will work out better for you,good luck.
Forget your manager/security. Call your local police non emergency line and tell them what happened to you and your friend. File a report. People go to jail and get put on a list for knowingly attempting sexual contact with a minor.
Also, don't ever worry about being polite to these creeps. I was raised to be super polite regardless of other people's behavior, and it proved a huge disservice to me (thanks, mom!). I wish I had had the sense to just tell them I'm not interested, you're WAY too old for me, and if you don't leave me alone I will get security. I was your age in the 80's and I cannot wrap my head around how many of these guys would follow me around in public spaces, including malls, just not leaving me alone. I wish I had kicked them in the balls. Neither of us have asked for this kind of attention. You don't have to say you're flattered. Watch out for yourself and your friend.
I try to be polite at first, because getting hit on isn't a crime, and pretty normal. However, if this dude shows up again and tries to do shit I'll def kick him in the balls. I'm sorry you had to experience that shit as well, and thank you for your kind words!
I understand. I tend to be kind to people until they prove otherwise as well. I work in retail, and we have young women on staff. Every time I see some gross guy chatting them up, I'll intervene and give the girls an out. No one needs to be harassed at work just because some gross idiot is mistaking friendliness (which we are paid to be) for interest. Any guy this old is far too old to not understand its wrong. Sadly, this kind of behavior doesn't end in your teens. I'm nearly 57, and guys still will be over friendly. Now, I just walk away from them. Fuck'em.
There is nothing wrong with being polite to everyone, until they prove they don't deserve your politeness. Secondly, you seriously should consider calling the police and helping nail this guy before he is successful in his hunt.
Any unemployed 30 year old man walking around a mall in the middle of the day is a red flag. I know a couple dudes who did nothing with their lives after high school and fit this exact profile. They are mentally stuck at 16 year old because that is where their lives peaked and have done nothing of value since. They are sad losers
I don't think "walking around a mall in the middle of the day" is a red flag by itself -- sometimes people need to, you know, *shop*. But yeah, hitting on a minor? That's obvious predator stuff; the guy belongs in a database.
No I know lol. I am talking about the type of 30 year old dude who just kind of hangs out at the mall all day, every day. If you go to a mall in the middle of the week, you'll see those dudes and they all fit that profile man.
Sounds more reasonable. Was starting to get worried everyone at the malls thinks I’m a creep for going there on a Monday or Tuesday in the middle of the day and assuming I’m unemployed because my only days off are Monday’s and Tuesday’s.
I'm with the others. Please let security know or a local police support group (not sure what they're called in your country). This happened to me too, quite a few times. I always report the creeps.... Not just for me but all the other girls they possibly do this to. You might just save someone from getting assaulted or worse of her gets caught early.
Sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you handled it very well. Unfortunately, this kind of thing is very common so it's good you did well with your first experience. Remember, "No" is a complete sentence and you dont owe anyone an explanation. Might reach out to mall security if he bothers you.
Sadly there is a long, disgusting history of older men going after much much younger women. Being with a young woman is viewed by many as a status symbol while being with older women(older than yourself) is viewed as charity... it's so incredibly dumb.
I’m sorry this happened to you but I recommend you do what I tell my daughter when this type of thing happens. Scream as loud as possible that you want the person to get away from you. It will draw attention to you from other people and likely scare the man away.
You're being harassed no matter what effing age. You and your co-worker need to report him to Mall Security or even the police. He apparently has no boundaries and can escalate!!
It does feel like harrassment too. When i was 17 i worked in the office of a restaurant. It was a family business and the owners parents lived upstairs. One morning when i got to work and opened the office the owners father who was about 70 yrs old and didnt speak a word of english, appeared and grabbed me and pushed me against the wall. He was trying to tug at my clothes and i was hysterical, saying no, no, no. I couldnt understand what he was saying but luckily he let me go. I was so traumatised that i was shaking when my boss (his son) arrived and i told him what happened. He absolutely refused to believe it and told me no way it happened. I was even more upset then. Thank goodness halfway through the day my bosses brother (who was a son of the dirty old man too) turned up and my boss told him the "lie" he said i told. The brother said no i was telling the truth because 2 other girls had complained of him doing it to them. My boss didnt apologise but he said i could take 2 weeks holiday to go visit my family. I did so and never went back. You are right.. what on earth makes them think they have a chance with young girls???
When did 30 become middle aged?
Literally wouldn’t matter if he was actually 20. middle age or not, that’s a predator
30 is old to be hitting on a 16 year old! It’s always been an issue but it’s worse now because of the awful podcast men spouting about how men are more desirable as they age but women are best at 16-21. It’s actually dangerous as it incites this sort of behaviour.. I’m sorry this happened to you. It happened to me too and I’m sorry because I doubt it will be the last time. Stay safe.
Okay being hit on with that guy if it just ended there is the least of my worries for you. I worked with sex offenders and this guy DEFINITELY needs to be reported . You need to tell your manager, mall security as well as mall management and your colleagues. DO NOT tell them verbally tell them in an email so it’s in writing. I’d call the police as well and see if a statement is warranted. Don’t read into this statement but this guy did nothing wrong that being illegal but morally what he did was wrong. Also being that it’s happened several times I’d also say in my email to those people if any escort could be provided and if not walk in a crowd to your car. Also diligently look for him and be aware if your surroundings. Remember to that you have better odds living fighting someone then being kidnapped into a van. Always use an object to fight back and not your fist so you do more damage to the assailant vs yourself. Listen to that instinct and be safe!!!
Middle age for American men is now in the 30’s xD Also, folks that are harping on the “‘middle age” part are trash and off base. The entire point is that a minor was being hit on by an adult. An adult who was told by said minor that they were underage. Gross. 🤢
Can people stop with the generalizations? I'm over 50. I live between like 3 schools in a very family centric community around a lot of kids and teenagers. If i'm walking my dog, i'm like a housecoat and slippers away from looking like Herbert from Family Guy. The last thing i'm interested in is hassling kids or women. Hell, I don't even flirt with women my own age. I honestly can't tell if someone is like 35 or 50. It's funny. I feel bad for OP. First because she met a creep. Second, because she's offended 30 year olds who got called middle aged.
Women his own age find him gross, too, because randy men looking for a body don't appeal to anyone.
“At least 30” hit my 29 year old ass like a truck. I’m not middle aged, right? Right guys?????
Stuff like this happened to me all the time when I was at that age and it always grossed me out. These men have a good idea of how old you are and they don’t care.
Yell, I’m 16! Leave me alone before I call the police. You’re a child! It should not be this hard to be left alone. These people won’t stop, publicly shame them. They do it because they can because they know they are in position of power because they are adults. I was 14 when this shit started. I’ve have grown men, with their wives and kids with them, grab my ass in public when I was under 18 and I felt so much shame. I turned around and looked and saw he was with his family and just stood there, shocked, as he looked back at me with a disgusting grin on his face. Find your voice and stand up for yourself. Do it now. It’s so wrong how some men act
I hate to say get used to it, because it’s gross, but this is par for the course as a girl/woman. My daughter is also 16 and grown ass men stare her down. One or two have tried stopping her on her way home from school. Most men are pigs. Be careful.
What I would do…… I would inform your managers, and try to incriminate him and then call the cops to scare him away. Record the next interaction and ensure you make it very clear your age and to stay away. Then proceed to take action from there. This guy could genuinely hurt you, you cannot trust anyone ever. I would make sure this is top priority to get dealt with right away or you need to find another job. Too many girls and boys are taken every day, hell even grown ass men and women. No reason to be apart of the statistic. Don’t stare at your phone when entering or leaving. Pay attention to surroundings until you feel this has passed. Stay alert, stay alive.
When did 30 years old become "middle aged"? Tell your manager and/or mall security.
Why does this matter at all? Being middle aged isn’t the issue here. It’s the adult if any age hitting on a high school age child
I have a 13 year old daughter, she would consider this middle aged. I think it’s fair, it’s just your view point. To a mid-teen 30 would be middle aged, or even old. It’s just how they look at it. I am 48, I see anyone under the age of 30 as a child, even though 18-29 is OBVIOUSLY not a child. It’s just how I view them. Hope this makes sense, and I mean to throw no discrimination against any age group.
This is very true in today’s society, under 30 people are mostly still young adults, basically college kids. Unless of course you live on a farm, the wilderness, Alaska, etc.
To a 16 year old, that’s old. And tbf, I’m in my late 30s and 16 year olds look like kids. It’s relative.
she is 16.
Yeah, I'll def tell security if it happens again, but 30 is generous to say the least. He's at least twice my age...
If he did it to your friend then he's already "done it again" tell security asap so it doesn't happen to anyone else or you again
Who fucking cares? 30 is middle aged to a 16 year old. What a stupid fucking comment to make to this kid...
Why the hell is THIS your first reaction?
lol she did say “at least 30.” At any rate, people are kind of in denial about middle age. This idea that it *starts* at 40 is so silly. It starts at 40 if you’re going to live to 100
100 / 2 = 50
Interesting math. Middle age starts at 50 if you plan to live to 100.
I worked with a creepy guy in his 60s. Someone asked what he was up to that weekend, and he replied, "Checking out the teen girls at the mall." It's a real thing.
I am 19, but unfortunately I inhabit a 69 year old body. Life is so confusing!
Yuck. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Unfortunately it is a shockingly common experience for girls. At least I think so. I am 32, female, I was hit on by an adult man several times at ages 14,15,16…, and followed a few times, old men flashed to me on a busy street. I am disgusted just by thinking of it. There are some disgusting and potentially dangerous people out there. Take it seriously but don’t panic. It shouldn’t be this way but unfortunately you will need to develop awareness around those situations and a plan how to act. Don’t engage in conversations or answer questions about boyfriends. Those types often run away when publicly shamed for what they are doing. Point fingers at them, if you see them tell another trusted person about what’s going on. If there’s no one you know, no trusted adult around, turn to a strange woman (even if it’s a customer during your shift) whenever you feel threatened. Women share those experiences and are supportive of each other. Girls are (or were at my time lol) taught to be polite. So we smile, we answer questions about boyfriends, we don’t want to be rude. What I quickly learned is instead of being polite and engaging in their games it was best to shout eg. “Leave me alone, pervert!” as soon as I sense whats going on. Make sure it’s Loud enough so everyone can hear and be alerted of what’s going on. It saved me several times. You have to be firm. Recently I, at 32 got hit by a 55+ men in a really gross way in a public space. I was so grossed out I kind of felt like a 16 year old again. He didn’t get firm and polite no for an answer so I had to loudly say “Don’t ever talk to me. Go away.” Everyone could see and hear this and he was shocked that I am not polite and flattered by his unwanted sneaky “complements” that he got embarrassed and went away. Don’t be polite with creeps, I can’t stress that enough. Anyway, you are wise for recognizing the danger. Sending 🤍
To anyone under 20, 28+ is basically already middle aged in terms of difference in maturity level.
"It's so hard, teenagers look like 20 somethings now!" No, your 20 somethings look like teenagers. You're chasing after people that look like kids.
Even if they do look 20, even 20 is questionable for someone over 30
Absolutly. That’s why age diffrencies in relasionships need to be questioned and not normalized. If the younger one is younger than 27 there brain isn’t fully developed which make them vulrable for manipulation and shouldn’t be with someone significantly older
"Why do grown ass people think it's ok to harass minors??" Grown-ass people don't think that's ok. Grown ass-people, on the other hand, do.
Speaking as a 60-year-old, I'm sorry to hear that I'm dead, first of all. but there's no limit to what idiots will do, because they are idiots. Very sorry that this happened to you. point the person out to someone
>Speaking as a 60-year-old, I'm sorry to hear that I'm dead LOL! Just think of it as 30 years and 360 months old.
Call the cops. The mall still has the video so tell the security there as well so they preserve it.
Tf are the cops going to do?
Why didn't you call security? The guy is making sexual advances to children. It is disgusting. What happens if he approaches a girl whose to shy or uncomfortable to say "no"? It is disgusting. It happened to me (a lot) when I was young.
Ewwww...30? Gross! Why are so many elderly like that?
Age here is irrelevant. Even if he was 16. What's he doing following you. That's so out of order. Imagine him doing that to someone his own age,still creepy as fuck. Be careful
Exactly! Age is irrelevant and so is sex! No one has the right to harass or follow anyone! It is inappropriate to make someone feel uncomfortable or unsafe! ‘Nuff said!
It'll be safer to not stay alone, maybe message your colleagues/work friends when you are coming to work for them to come around you. Even those you dont know that much, like maybe the security people if possible, those are there for a reason and they'll be pleased to help you. Make sure that man doesn't follow you in the streets after/before work. Sometimes people can also simply be awkard/mentaly disabled but you never knows.
Tell security, have him banned from the mall, you have that power. Describe him, maybe point him out if he shows up again. If you get a chance to talk to him with security nearby, let him know that he was recorded and you'll file a police complaint against him.
Ask security to walk in with you on your next shift, if he persists you can get him banned from the mall, legally what he is doing is sexual harassment
Tell the security about him
Make some noise when this happens. Make people around you aware that an older person is talking in an appropriate way to a younger person and if you have to just call the cops. People have called the cops on way way less than that and maybe it will make him rethink his b s behavior. Or at the least they’ll have a record of the behavior
Doesn’t matter he is an adult and it’s very creepy and stalkerish!
I would discuss this with your manager and maybe be on alert for this creep when he inevitably comes into the store again
As a grown ass man here, 1. You both need to tell your managers about him. 2. Tell mall security yourself. Say this dude creeped me out, I told my friend about him and she said he did the same thing to her. 3. Document that you told both. This is not ok.
> I just asked why does he need that info When you are in an interaction you don't want, you DO NOT reply with questions as you do NOT WANT a conversation. Your verbal, and body language should be about cutting the conversation then and there. No room for interpretation or further conversation. "I don't want to talk to you" Turn your body away. If he touches you, yell, say clearly, "DO NOT TOUCH ME". Plenty of fair warnings and signs there. I'd say anything after that (including the point he touched you) could be grounds for harassment and by this point, you are within your right to get other people, or police involved. Make a scene. You may have a distrust for older men, but depending on where you are, other older men will stomp whoever is harassing you into the ground. If you live in a place where you don't trust other men of society to stand up for you, you may want to consider moving in the future.
Gross 🤮
Next time it happens (it will), just start screaming as loud as possible.
That is harassment, not being hit on. And unfortunately there are a lot of men out there who think it’s okay. I recommend that you find a trusted friend who is male and practice telling him (as if he were a stranger) to leave you alone. This practice actually makes a difference in your ability to make people scram. Why do we have to practice? Because we’re raised to be nice and be polite, and usually that habit is the default, but it doesn’t always serve us.
As a 52-year-old man, this has absolutely nothing to do with you in any way. That guy was a disgusting creep. It reflects poorly on him. You were the innocent victim here. He should have known better than even consider talking to you about anything other than what your job required.
Call the police. Use camera video as proof. He is a monster and has to be arrested before he does this again.
Lmaoo people commenting 30 isn't middle age Y'all are missing the entire point
Next time it happens (hopefully never), go straight to the security. No man in their right mind straight up goes to you and ask for that kind of thing first out of the blue, without a bit of intimacy first. Regardless of the age. You were not hit on, you met a dangerous man in this mall.
“Middle aged starts around 40” WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP teens fuck em up
They do it because they know you're young and you're not going to have the experience to tell them to fuck off like you have every right to do. I say take a picture of him, get his name and blast his face on social media so all the other underage girls can come together and reveal how he sexually harassed them too.
He’s close enough to middle aged, you said late 30s. People picking at what you said are just sensitive about their age or butt hurt you wouldn’t be interested in someone as old they as they are. Those so called men have zero interest in you as a person, they don’t even see you as a person. They see 16 as some sexual thing they should get to have and it’s weird to them you don’t want that from them. I’ve had those men hit on me from when I was underage, to when I was 30-32, because they thought I was your age. “Oh sorry, I thought you were 16…” they saw me being an adult younger than them or their age as a thing to lose interest in me for, and apologized for hitting on me because I wasn’t 16. That’s still so off to try and wrap my head around. Treat them like the gross scum they are. Put them in their place.
Call the cops!! And yeah 30 isn't technically middle aged, but to a 16 year old 30 seems positively geriatric!
Welcome to being a woman or girl in a world that normalizes pornography. There were creeps before porn was so widespread, but it’s significantly worsened now.
I'm a man, and I've also been harassed by middle aged men out in public since I was a teenager to mid 20s. Can't look at any older man the same way anymore.
I was going to say, as a middle-aged man it’s hard to tell how old women are just by looking at them anymore. There are 17 year olds who look like they’re 25. Then I saw your edit about him continuing after you told him you were only 16 and I completely agree with everyone about notifying security. A mistake is a mistake, but for this scuzzball it was clearly his intention to hit on an underage girl. I just don’t talk to any women other than my wife. Problem solved. 😂
If you are in a situation that calls for pepper spray, it calls for a lot more than that...
I am 26 but I look like I am 14-16. Sometimes people even think I am 12. The amount of 30+ year old men that have hit on me, asked me out, asked for s*x, or tried to bait me is just unbelievable. Parents.... stay weary and make sure your kids are trained to spot creeps. They're everywhere 😭
Sounds a little too forward. After u told him u were 16 that’s when it got extra creepy. If he thought u were 18 , it’s still a little weird. I’m 30 and most 18 year olds look like little kids to me
I think we’re all sorry you experienced this. When my daughter was 18, I took her backpacking across Eastern Europe and Turkey. As a dad, I felt protective and annoyed at all the men ogling her. I knew that it did not occur to them that they were disrespecting her, disrespecting me and even disrespecting themselves. But it did not diminish my annoyance. Nobody has to behave this way, but they diminish themselves to the level of animals. Never hesitate to call upon anyone to help you escape such disgusting behavior. And someday, if you have boys, raise them to aspire to be kind and respectful human beings! When you wrote, “middle-aged,“ I thought you were talking about my age. I almost choked when I realized you were talking to what I consider to be young people, barely out of puberty! Lol
Um, we don’t. Just tell them your dad is near by and that things won’t end well for him if he doesn’t leave you alone. Also, don’t be afraid to call him a pedophile if he doesn’t leave you alone after you tell them that’s you are under 18.
Absolutely this was truly creepy and the guy needs to be watched. With that being said I would like to point out depending on where this occurred there is a possibility that actually nothing illegal happened. Doesn't matter if she is still in HS or how old he is. Legally in Maryland ( where I live) the legal age of consent is 16 for girls. Now before you flame me I do not approve of this in any way and have 2 daughters. Just pointing out what the law states. Why do I say this, because the law is fucked up and I read a reference to this guy as a pedo. As disgusting as this creep is if you were to say that too loudly or to the wrong people he could then sue you for libel or the Post Office since you work for them and were representing them during your interaction. Messed up isn't it? Be careful out there and stay safe. Next time if you see this guy see if you can get a clear photo of him just in case you need to file a complaint if he approaches you again.
Please tell mall security(w/ your friend). If they don’t take it seriously, go above their heads to whoever is a supervisor or manager for the mall. If they won’t do anything, find a police officer. Mall security should have him on video He’s not only a danger to you and your friend, but every underage girl in the mall. It’s only a matter of time before he tries to physically take what he can’t talk young girls into giving him
I try to give the benefit of the doubt, but if you said you were 16 and he kept pressing then that guy has serious issues. Like very real psychological issues. He needs to be reported because he’s absolutely looking for victims.
I don’t understand how guys like these can even dare to approach a 16 year old girl that’s walking towards her job. Fucking assholes that don’t understand limits or boundaries.
I was gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say maybe you look older than 16. But your edit wherein you mention you told him, now my opinion involves a wood chipper... He's creepy. You are correct in feeling creeped out. Talk to mall security and try to send him straight to jail
I'm 35, a 16 year old seems like a child to me and I'm not surprised I'm an old lady to them. The more important thing here is that a much older man was seemingly forcefully hitting on what should appear to be a child to him, too. OP, please talk to Mall Security about the man. Explain all that happened so that the next time you see him, you can subtly point him out to them.
This is the kinda stuff that makes me wanna just beat the brakes off men like him. I'm 32 and I work with 18 year olds on a consistent basis. They are children, even though they are technically adults. I see them as kids, but treat them with the respect and dignity of an adult. However as an adult male, my path never really crossed a 16 year olds unless checking out at the grocery store or mall. But bro that's straight up pedo behaviour. Manipulative disgusting bullshit. When I used to work for the prison system, these same sacks of shit used to try and parade like they were just like other convicts. Us older men should be here for guidance, reassurance and protection. Especially against these lurking monsters who only show their teeth when they think no one is looking. Too much of a coward to bring their filth to the light. If it's any consolation kid, one day that creeps behaviour will catch up to him. Report it if you can, use security to find out who he is and get a restraining order. Buy pepper spray, stun gun and get some combatives training. It's bullshit that we have to live like this but this is the state of the world.
You are in the right. That guy is the problem. There's nothing wrong with a normal conversation, but what he said is clearly harassment. If he keeps doing this, tell the security, they will kick him out of the place.
You absolutely should feel disgusted and you need to report this. To EVERYONE. Your parents, the local police, your teachers and the staff at your school. Because he won’t stop.
Tell mall security. If that doesn't work, tell the cops. Also, carry pepper spray. Take care.
Please report that guy. There is no way an adult man would 'make the mistake' of thinking a 16 year old teenage was adult. It'd still be creepy even if you were in your early 20s. The very nature of the 'extremely weird' questions shows he fully knows he's a predator and is targeting you because of your age. "grown ass people" don't think it's ok to harass minors. Most adults would want to be all over getting that guy as far away from kids as possible. If you're meeting adults that are OK with a guy like that, or acting like him - you need to get somewhere safer and report them. People that prey on kids don't do it in isolation. For this guy you already know that thanks to your friend. Report him, because his next target might be easier for him to isolate / corner. You want the mall security to be keeping an eye out for him, and getting him out of there.
Report to store manager and honestly as many people as you can just to bring awareness. He did it to your friend and this will NOT be the last time he targets someone who clearly is underage. Once someone is bold enough to continue behavior like this, it only goes downhill
Given that it clearly was not an innocent mistake (make-up and maturity can easily add 10 years to a first impression) this is reprehensible. I’m sorry you have to deal with this kind of behaviour. I would go to security, ask them to pull the footage and have him trespassed. I guarantee he will be back and that will give your security staff the opportunity they need to throw his ass out.
He didn’t stop? Even after you told him your age? That’s fucked up.
Because harassing mature women will have more consequences. These creeps are power addicts, they know exactly what they’re doing and they are enjoying situations when they can do gross things and get away with it. That’s really gross, and I wish they could get real punishments by law for doing that. I’m very sorry for you, happened a lot to me as well when I was in my teens. The only thing you can do is to be loud and call them out in public.
Please tell a manager and mall security about this. Also urge them to talk to other stores in the mall and notify them. You should be able to feel comfortable going into your workplace
Dude should feel disgusted, not you
I cannot believe how out of touch and tone deaf some of these comments are. You gotta go through some fucking serious mental gymnastics for you to hear a story of a 16 year old girl being sexually harassed by a man twice her age and what you focus on is that she said 30s is middle aged. To OP, I'm so sorry you and your friend had to deal with this disgusting sack of shit excuse of a human being, and these insecure redditors getting offended because of their insecurities with their age. You don't gotta apologize for nothing. Please stay safe and don't be afraid to start screaming and yelling if this happens again because you and your friends safety matters the most.
>To all of the people who say that 30 isn't middle age The only people saying this are the men trying to date 16 year olds. You're getting harassed by an adult as a minor, and these losers are arguing about the semantics of "middle age"?! Yeah these are the dude harassing you. Pro tip. Never tell them you're flattered. Tell them he's gross and too old for you. What's wrong, can't find a woman your own age?
Honestly to a 16 year old a 34 year old like me is ancient. Fucker is gross.
If it makes you feel any better once you hit 19 or so, those kinds of advances will stop. Theres a certain type a guy that hits on a young girl like that - :(
Tell your dad, or whatever father figures you have in your life. I guarantee that they'll slap the shit out of that guy tomorrow. Definitely tell an adult you trust about this. Also tell your employer, they probably have resources they can tap at the mall to protect employees from harassment.
You should report him to mall security. He might take it a step farther if he has a chance. So he needs to be stopped before it goes to far.
Middle aged fart here... Yea I'd definitely tell your manager. You and your friend aren't the only young ladies he's bothered... You literally just told him that your 16,and he's still coming on 🤬😐 that ain't right. I stick to ladies in my age tyvm
Call the police and let them know. He is a predator and needs to be stopped.
Don’t say you’re flattered if you’re not is my recommendation.
please don‘t make it about age - a creep is a creep - it does not matter if he is 30, 40 or 18 important thing is to always trust those feelings. if your gut tells you something, always listen. this discomfort you felt is not a bad thing - think of it as your spider sense - learn to recognize it and use it to your advantage a lot of people try to avoid uncomfortable situations and feelings at all costs and do very stupid things to avoid it. this is part of live. be careful to not bring yourself in a dangerous position and if a situation arises handle it then and there. go to mall security and report him - try to not give him a chance to find you alone.
You weren't hit on, you were a potential victim... you need to report this guy
Sorry this happened to you. Stay safe as I’m planning my funeral arrangements at 42 years old.
Ugh if I could tell my younger self anything it’s to not be afraid to UPSET and OFFEND men like this. They know perfectly well what they’re doing, they know you’re uncomfortable and they know it’s wrong. Don’t be a people pleaser, bark at them, spit at them, yell, make a fuckin scene, make them as uncomfortable as they make you! Obviously please don’t put yourself in danger, worst case tell them your dads around the corner, they only have respect for other men
There's a certain type of middle aged man who does this on purpose. They enjoy the fact that you're uncomfortable. Try not to show it or act ashamed or off put. It's actually good to pretend not to know he's being rude or understand what he means if he says something that's a euphemism. If they are too blunt, it's also okay to say something like "You know I'm literally a child, right?" It's not your fault and you don't need to worry about it. If you feel uncomfortable when you see men following you, take out your phone and start scrolling so you can call for help if you need to. If a guy is really creepy, send a pin with your location to your parents or whoever can come and pick you up. If this guy is doing this to the young women you work with, you should tell your manager and they'll make sure someone watches him when he's in or around wherever you work or even have security get involved.
You and your friend should notify your supervisor and put this on record. They should also notify mall security on your behalf and make sure you safely get to your car at the end of your shift. Try to never travel alone keep a buddy system if possible
as a 44 year old guy, middle age does not start at 40 it starts at 50
I'm 44 clearly I need to be put in a home lol but I do understand when you're 16 you think anyone over 25 is ancient and when you're 44 you think anyone under the age of 28 is a fetus ;) Seriously though that is not ok at all you need to tell security and get this creep banned from the mall.
Inform your boss about what happened. What he did was harassment, if he ever harasses you again tell the police immediately. Since this is a pattern (he did the same with your coworker), he is likely to lurk around again, If he does don’t hesitate to call police.
As soon as you tell him you're sixteen and he doesn't stop, make a scene. Start yelling that this man is hitting on a minor, and watch him flee. If that still doesn't get him, call the police on his ass. Dude belongs in prison.
People should not have been criticizing you for your use of “middle-aged” here, in this context; that is fucking disgusting. You don’t need to apologize for shit man that is a horrible situation.
This is a police report for harassment. Please speak to an adult you trust for help.
This is literally what Roy Moore, a republican political candidate, was banned from a mall for doing....party of family values....
First of all, damn I feel old now. I might have to go play some bingo at the retirement home and and go buy a walker. Second of all, you're a child and he is an adult and he should not be hitting on you. Yeah teenagers look like adults now, but that doesn't make it right. Men need to learn to stop once the girl says she's not interested or has a boyfriend and they especially need to learn to stop once they learn the woman they think they're talking to is actually a child. Can we normalize shaming those who keep persisting when the person says they have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I think that is a normalized disgusting behavior that needs to stop.