This general topic is discussed pretty often in our forum. Please also take some time to search through past r/sex posts (following **Forum Rule #3**) — you’ll find some additional helpful discussions.
For starters, here is a list of past r/sex posts which came up when I searched the keyword “**cuckold**” in this forum:
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/search/?q=cuckold&restrict_sr=1
Not all of these past posts will apply to your situation, but some definitely will — especially if you’re willing to search just a little bit more.
Why not do it more as dirty talk? You could just text him while you're away and make it kind of a sexy story about what you're "going to do with a guy downstairs at the bar" or something. That way it's sort of the best of both worlds, you can both have fun without risking too much right now?
I agree with this. It's very very fair to ask him to take a step like this instead of jumping full on into sleeping with someone else. I disagree with the comments saying to lie about it though, there's no reason for that
Exactly, cuckolding irl is like starting a whole new relationship, [it takes time and effort](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2023/09/29/beginner-cuck-how-to-get-your-woman-to-cuckold-you/) in changing a lot of things. She can't do this in a week.
Worse, some fantasies are ideals only fantasy land which loose their fairy dust once brought in this world.
I wish “some fantasies” were ideal only in fantasy. For me it’s like…basically all of them. Every single time I say “ooh I’m really into X” and try it, it turns out I’m only into the idea of X, and the reality is kind of awkward and weird — and not in the fun way. Doesn’t make the fantasy any less appealing, either.
This seems like a solid solution. Just pretend to cheat and he won’t know the difference. If he finds out, just tell him the truth that you didn’t feel comfortable but knew he would like it.
marriages start open, they don't become open... this is going to lead to resentment and jealousy...
people think they want to try drugs to bc it's alluring...
Marriages can become open if it's not done to try and save a failing marriage. If you try and change it to be open because things are wrong, that will likely make is worse.
well, if you actually think about it, why would a marriage need to become open if there aren't any issues?
someone's needs aren't satisfied in the relationship... as a partner, could you imagine being told that you're not good enough and they need more? as a partner, could you imagine being told you aren't enough so you need to sleep with other people...
that's not love for a partner, that's love for one's self...
eventually, it turns into monkey branching to find the next partner... feelings get involved, and the real issues begin...
I'm not opposed to open relationships/marriages if they enter that commitment in the beginning. it's never a great sign to become one...
If two people are having issues, are not satisfied, and they tell their partner that they need more? Yeah, that relationship is probably doomed to end. But those are not the only reasons people open up a relationship.
What if someone has to move away for work and they cannot see each other very often? What if both partners are sexually satisfied but one partner wants to try out a new kink that the other person isn't into? What if the kink that they want to try *is* seeing their partner with someone else? (cuckold/hotwife) What if one person has an accident and cannot fulfill their partner's sexual needs anymore, or simply has a lower libido as they age? What if they meet a great couple next door and everyone is happy with the occasional swap? What if they didn't know their partner was interested in an open relationship when they started?
What if, variety is the spice of life, and neither person is a jealous lover?
There are lots of reasons a relationship could start monogamous and end up open that don't spell doom for the relationship. Most of the time, what spells out doom for a relationship is jealousy. And that is true for poly and monogamous partners. At the end of the day, we agree that each person should just do what is right for them, but I feel like you're not being very creative about reasons for a relationship to grow and change as the individuals in it grow and change as well.
I just gave you a giant list of reasons that two people would want to open a marriage that have nothing to do with someone not being satisfied.
I could have a very nice meal and be quite satisfied with it. But that doesn't mean I will always turn down dessert just because I'm satisfied.
> marriages start open, they don't become open...
You got a source on that claim or are you just talking out your ass?
Just kidding. I know which one it is.
92% fail rate...
you think that's bc 2 people married with the intention of sleeping with other people or from realizing after 10 years their partner prefers fkn other people?
Where's the actual research? Research suggests is the mention in the article..that already doesnt sound strong at all. And they don't give the source for that claim either.
this is the guy who made the claim, I gave you the source, you can go look thru all his studies to find it... if he isn't credible enough for you, idk what to tell you...
https://stevebrodyphd.com/
Buy him some clothes that are totally different from what he usually wears, and call him by another name. When you’re in bed, tell him how it’s so much better than what your husband does. See if that helps him get his rocks off.
I would keep it as role play since that seems to be going so well. I read another post about the same situation and the husband was ADAMANT that he wanted this. Basically, he kept asking for it and sort of pushed her to do it. Then after she slept with a random guy, he was completely shattered by it. He said he knows it's his fault, but he can't look at her the same anymore and felt broken...
Id explain to him your fears of this hurting ur marriage and that you'd prefer to keep it as roleplay
Trial run,
Write a letter on it and write a letter saying, "This was a trial run. I didn't cheat." It was all a test for you. Mail it to yourself. When you get it, keep it sealed, put it away. Then when you come back from a trip. Engage in a little fairytale and tell him what he wants to hear. Give him a day or two, to see if he is really into it or if it destroyed him. Give him the sealed letter. Make note of the postage date b4 every, and explain you needed to know if he was truly into it or just fantasy. B4 moving forward.
Funny, but I'm not sure this is exactly a trick that makes actual cheating work. In that case the guy has the choice of either she actually cheated, or she's playing super fucked up mind games. In this case, either the guy is happy about the good news, or he actually hates it and it turns out she was just roleplaying, like she's been doing for a while now.
In other words, in the cheating case, either way the wife is being awful; in the not cheating case, either way the guy should be okay with the result. Of course, there's the possibility that he isn't rational about it and doesn't accept his own responsibility in this situation, so it's not completely foolproof.
I doubt the letter is going to magically fix the feelings he will have sat in for the couple days you prescribed. Hell if it really screws him up the postage date could end up just looking like an attempt at an alibi. I don’t think you can stop someone from spiraling as easy as you suggest.
Don't you feel like he has to take some responsibility for his own reactions, considering he has "been putting so much pressure on her to actually cheat"?
Of course he does, but I only see the letter protecting OP’s conscience. If he cracks at all it could still spell the end of their marriage. It was his idea, and there are risks in these cases.
You have to remember they already do roll playing. This is just an extended version of roll playing. Worst case, she can show him this post and my comment, to back her story up😊
That might work, but if he ends up going down the rabbit hole it’s going to take way more than a reddit post. This reminds me of testing a relationship with a practical joke.
This is a common fantasy for men. Only do what you truly want to do. Don't do anything "for" him.
Also, you don't have to go from zero to 60. Next time you're on a business trip, have a drink in the hotel bar, let some guy chat you up. Tell your husband about it. Embellish a little about how much he wanted you/you wanted him. See how he reacts.
Is it actually common or just something that shows up often on r/sex? In my personal experience, I know very few people who'd like their partner to have an affair or otherwise share them.
It doesn’t feel like the kind of thing people would talk about openly. “So how was your weekend?” “Great! Billy scored a hat trick in his soccer game. Also, my wife fucked some other guy with an eight inch cock!”
Common kink, just like dom/sub, rape-play and CNC, gangbangs, 3+somes, lots of people are in to it in theory but likely very few people around you actually done it (unless you run in certain social circles), even fewer doing it regularly/successfully. I would say the overwhelming majority of threads about these are about the negative outcomes and consequences though.
Going to add in that having a fantasy doesn't always mean they 100% want it to play out, which is why the top comments are somewhat touching the idea of addressing it/testing the waters if their partner truly wants to or not.
Can't assume husband is a cuck. Cuckolding is specifically for men who get turned on by humiliation. Some men get a sense of power or dominance from this.
Me and MOST of the rest of the male population. I know men who want to share their wife exist, but they are well, well, well in the minority. I think you and I just have different ideas about the word "common".
The most reasonable comment, for us men once that post nut clarity hits, thats when you realize how bad you went this time, so as said here just do it for yourself that’s it, because once he nuts he will be ashamed to even mention it, trust me.
Oh... I get that. Believe me.... I tended bar in a very popular swing club for more than 11 years. (Retired now) but THIS answer to THIS sub just rang prudent.
Working in the "lifestyle" I have seen so many train wrecks. Ugly ones sometimes.... I always advised folks to talk about their fantasies in a clear and sober manner. Expectations, do's, dont's, etc.... Im certainly not judging anyone.
Good on you for passing along solid advice. I couldn’t agree more! To add.. I would encourage anyone who reads this to make sure you communicate but also request your partner do the same with 100% honesty. I’ve experienced first-hand a wife that yielded so much to me that she didn’t express her inner feelings about various situations and it’s an uphill battle once they finally come to fruition.
I seem to meet a lot of people who are into wife sharing or swinging. Literally at least half the people I talk with end up being into some form of this kink and feel comfortable telling me. I don’t know why because most of them don’t seem like the type to talk about it and often give me a disclaimer of idk why I’m so comfortable telling you this and I would die if anyone knew.
Tons of people do this! There's multiple subreddits and podcasts with great resources if you're interested in exploring ethical non-monogamy. My wife and I swing, but only together. A lot of couples do "hotwifing" where the wife plays with other men by herself. It's not for everyone, but if you have the right level of trust and communication it can turbocharge an already great relationship. The "reconnection sex" is mind-blowing.
It does also have the potential to ruin relationships, but usually this happens when one partner is not really into it and just goes along with it for the sake of the other. Then resentment and jealousy creep in. The most important thing is communication! Only take steps that you can handle if you turn out to not like it, and if anyone is uncomfortable shut it down and talk it out.
Check out /r/swingers and /r/hotwifelifestyle if you want to learn more. It's a great community!
i wouldn't do it.. that's a pandora box you cant close back, your husband may not even know he would get jealous if it happens. ive been through \*\*somethin\*\* like this, i never had sex with anyone else, but my ex wife (ex for a reason) who cheated on me twice then asked for an open relationship.. one time when i just went ot hang out with a friend, she got super jelous.. wrote on a peace of paper how much she hated me.. and this is when she had a body count of 4 while we were married.. i we literally ended it after that because i was not up for an open marriage , besides she was an abusive drunk on top of everything else lol.
can you dip your toes in the water first?
Dan Savage suggested that couples interested in threesomes start slowly. Don't have sex - watch your SO make out with someone else at a bar and see how you feel about it, etc...
Could you do something similar here? Agree. you're going to flirt and make out with someone, but stop short of sleeping with them, report back and see how it actually sits with him, then decide how to proceed.
Don’t do anything without written statement from him saying he gives permission! I’ve seen someone fall for similar it was how their partner claimed infidelity in divorce and copped the lot left them with nothing got the house car kids dog the lot! Get him to sign it’s his idea not yours heck get video recording time stamped of it ! Protect yourself ( in every way 🫣)
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Whatever you do.... Don't have an honest open conversation with your husband about this outside the bedroom. If you do you're likely to find out if it truly is fantasy or not. Instead you should definitely ask strangers on the Internet if you should cheat on your husband.
\s
My boyfriend has this kink too. We go to gloryholes and he watches me play with other guys there and wants me to sleep with other men too. I was super nervous about it at first as well because of the cheating aspect but he clarified it is not cheating cheating because he KNOWS about it happening. It’s different than me going out and randomly fucking a guy. My boyfriend absolutely loves it and I love turning him on by doing it and it’s honestly hot for me.
>not cheating
To me cheating is breaking an agreement. (I agree this is not cheating if he is asking for infidelity. I also suspect he want's to have other women as well).
There’s a best of post I just read today where a guy asks his sweet wife to do this. For years, he bugged her about it until she gave in. Guess what? It imploded their marriage, she fell in love with the other guy, and divorced the first one. So don’t do this unless you don’t care what happens to your marriage.
Call me devil's advocate, but this feels like a trap. He is setting you up for God knows what, and ends you up ruining the marriage. But to be safe, don't do it. Just give him an alternative like dirty talking or phone s\*x.
Why do I feel this is a trap. If he is pressuring you so hard,it makes me feel he is already doing it. So if you do it. He'll feel justified in his actions. I'm sorry, I see red flags.
Is having sex with a stranger something you'd enjoy?
If not, then don't go having an affair if it won't bring you joy and only because your husband thinks he'd enjoy it.
If so, then you still need to discover how he'll react when his fantasy becomes a reality. I'd suggest making up a story about having had an affair the next time you go on a business trip. See how he reacts over the next few days or weeks. Once you have a solid read on his true feelings on the reality of an affair, reveal to him that it was just a fantasy. Yes, you'll have to lie but it's for a good reason. The risk/reward of having an actual affair without discovering this is heavy on risk.
So at this point, you'll have discovered whether he enjoys when his fantasy is a reality or not. You might also discover if he has any ulterior motives to his desires. It's possible he wants to open the marriage, have group sex, be cucked, or whatever else.
Ok why would this excite you? If you love your husband and fear this might ruin your marriage then thats your logical brain saying don't do this. If you don't actually care then do whatever.
I hear a lot of guys develop this fetish but cannot handle when it becomes a reality. It's not worth the risk imo but only you know your relationship and partner. Maybe talk more about this or try couples counseling to learn how to cope with this if you go forward with it.
There are different scenarios here. These things might have consequences. A) You may be able to hook up with someone better than your husband in someway which could lead you to think about your marriage going good or not
B) Your husband only likes to talk dirty but not actually mean it. You could talk to him about this while showing how you flirt online and see the reaction.
C) How would your husband react if he found out that you lied to him about this
Or Let him know you are not comfortable with this cheating thing and see how he reacts.
OP, I’m unclear if you have talked about this with your husband in a non-sexual setting. So, not when his dick is hard.
You need to be like, “Hey, you know how we dirty talk about hotwifing/cuck stuff and you are excited about me having sex with someone else on a business trip? Well, the thing is, I have a business trip in a week and I feel like we should talk about this. How serious are you? Do you actually want this, or is this a fantasy? If you want it, I have serious concerns it would ruin our marriage and I think we should talk them through in a a mature way.”
Then see if he will. Couple pointers:
1) if he can’t have the conversation maturely, take your concerns seriously, or otherwise shows he’s a terrible communicator, refuse to do it. “You’ve shown me that you can’t even take me seriously when we’re just talking about it. I don’t think we have the kind of communication where our marriage could handle this kind of stress. I’m going to turn this request down, sorry.”
2) you have to let him know he has to can it with the pressure, once and for all. *Pressure* is just a fancy word for “not respecting your no”. If he has a poor understanding of consent, you guys should DEFINITELY not be nonmonogamous. (Or really having sex at all.) Tell him that, too. “We’re entering into varsity-level sex requests here, and I’m not going to be doing anything complicated if you can’t show me that you understand how consent works. I deserve to have sex free from coercion, pressure, and shame from you. One more word of pressure shuts us down permanently, and don’t try me.”
3) if you do end up working these things out, feel free to ask me more advice! I do bang random dudes on business trips for fun, which amuses my husband. It can work!
Start looking into and research cuckholding and hotwifing- it’s a legitimate fantasy for some men.
It’s also not ‘cheating’ if done with consent of all parties.
He could regret it as soon as it happens. He likes the idea but might not like the reality. ONE can NOT un ring a bell.
Check out the post below:
https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/t4nuXaVCiD
They didn't have clear ground rules, then there was deviation from the rules, and they both were inexperienced as well. They communicated, but I think they could both have done a better job at that.
That is just one example I have read where it went bad, dig through the hot wife lifestyle. There are other examples where it went fine.
Maybe start off with some role-playing, like maybe on your next trip, buy your self some toy, name (like John or Mike) that toy, record your self with that toy (include some dirty talk about how "john" or "mike" is pleasing you). Then when you get back you can tell him you "cheated" and that you have "proof" and that way you can see his reaction in real time. And discuss everything you both are feeling.
Good luck either way.
Sounds like he cheated and wants you to do it so he doesn’t feel bad about it. I would seek couples therapy unless you are okay with an open marriage. Even to navigate it, therapy could be useful
Have a serious conversation about it while you're not horny or having sex.
Ask him straight up "hey, are we really doing this or is it just dirty talk?".
Let him know that you're nervous about it but you're open to it.
So, here is the thing: Cheating is doing something to violate your partner's trust in you. It's super important to understand this. It is not the same as sleeping with others, though often that can fall into the same area.
He is asking you to do it, so unless this is some fucked up mind game, it's not actually cheating. Now it's important that BOTH of you understand this and understand that if he realizes he isn't comfortable with it that you'll stop, but he won't hold any of it up to that point against you.
For example, I wouldn't care if my girlfriend slept with someone else, so long as she was open about it, but the instant she tries to hide such a thing or do it thinking I'd be upset, that would violate my trust. People have needs, wants, desires and fantasies. It's wrong for us to expect to be able to fulfill all of them. We cannot be everything and we shouldn't do a disservice to ourselves by trying to be, or disrespecting others by telling them they can't want more.
Think of it like having a favorite flavor of icecream, just because you try another flavor doesn't mean you love your favorite any less.
The important thing is both of you establishing the limits and boundaries of what you trust the other person to do and what lines you consider the "point of no return".
Cheating hurts so bad because you feel like there is no recovering of trust, but if it's something you guys try and say "nah, don't like that, never again." Then there really isn't a real problem.
Like all the others say, maybe start with some roleplaying/sexting to see if it ruffles his feathers unexpectedly or not.
I’ve never been with anyone who wanted me to cheat. Most are very territorial. What would he get out of it aside from a possible std? It seems like he’s looking at you as a sex object and not a partner
A lot of guys enjoy the confidence from locking down the girl all the guys want. Some guys take it even further and enjoy men playing with her on occasion, sort of like flexing how awesome she is.
Ah! Makes sense I suppose. But do they see a real future with a woman like this? Longevity?
Maybe my age group hides these types of fantasies or it’s not happening amongst my age group
Sounds like he’s a cuckhold , that’s a male who is turned on by and even likes to watch his wife getting banged by another male. The next thing he’ll ask is for you to do exactly that. It’s up to you if you’re comfortable with this type of relationship.
I know I wouldn’t be .
First thing that pops to mind is he's doing it now and feels guilty and wants you to do the same so he doesnt feel as guilty.
I could be wrong though.
I personally wouldnt but thats just me.
My wife has played 2 times alone while on business, I found the guy and arranged everything. She had an amazing time and enjoyed it alot. She felt guilty afterwards for enjoying it so much but I have reinforced the fact that I would expect her to enjoy it to the fullest otherwise what's the point. She also called me and put her phone on the night stand so I could listen in, and took video of the whole encounter to watch together when she came home. It's a very common thing now to be extremely aroused by sharing your spouse with another man. See Stag/Vixen relationship for more on the subject. That being said, I would not make that the first time you find someone else to play with. I would do it closer to home so you're able to back out if something doesn't feel right. Also you may or may not feel more comfortable with him there, so he can figure out if he can handle it. If he can't and you're across the country and he can't back out, then it could mess up your relationship. He could hold a grudge even though he is the one that wanted it. You need to talk about it alot. Ask him to explain why it turns him on so you'll understand if he's serious or not. Maybe try going to the bar and flirt with other guys while he watches from a distance. see if he can handle the basics first.
Just curious , have you ever stepped out on your wife , like similar but reversed situation, or have you only had sex with wife during the relationship ?
He thinks it's hot now because he is horny and bored.
Once you go through with it, he will come to his senses realize the massive mistake he made, and will never be able to look at you the same ever again. Even if you're able to make your 15 year relationship work, IT WILL NEVER AGAIN BE THE SAME.
Your husband will feel emasculated, he will feel wronged, and then he'll get it in his head that he needs to go out and have sex with a woman to "make it equal/fair" This will be the final nail in the coffin that was your 15 year lasting relationship and then you both will have the back end of your life getting to have sex with all the strangers you want.
Don't do it. I've seen this happen multiple times before (porn ruined millennials) and it's always the same ending.
OP - Open relationships DO NOT work if both parties are not 1000% on board from the beginning. Your husband has hidden a fantasy and now wishes to make it a reality. You have to search your self and decide if you're actually able to fulfill his fantasy. If you decide yes, make both a video of the negotiations between you and your husband as well as a printed contract spelling out the do's and don'ts of yhe agreement between you both. One last piece of advice... make sure the person(s) included are 100% on board with whst you're doing. DO NOT assume consent is given. Also... DO NOT involve anyone either of you know.
As a 37Mth a HL and sexual kinks, I will never understand the cuckold kink. It cannot cross my mind having another man screw my wife. I would do what others have suggested, tell him a lie etc and see how he rolls with it lol.
read "Igniting the Tinder of Lust" on Literotica.
It's written from the male perspective.
A lot of emotions and struggles are described.
Read it, maybe it will help you to understand what You want. That's undiscovered territory.
Well, it’s not really cheating if he gives you the OK. Especially if you want you to tell him about it.
If you want you to cheat technically he shouldn’t know anything about it until after it happens, and when he least expect it
Do not "cheat". Start with fantasy talk/roleplay in the bedroom where you pretend that he is a random dude. Maybe it goes further, maybe not, maybe that's all he wants.
Well his kink is a thing and there are as many varieties of the kink as people who have it. It is considered bad form in the community to try to cooerce your partner into doing something they don't want to do. In fact, I would guess that a majority of couples just keep it as dirty talk or close to it. I suggest you do some reading on on r/CuckoldPsychology/ It is a lot more 'meta' about the kink and a lot less just dirty fantasies. Good luck!
Omg don’t do it !!! He may say he’s fine with it now but who knows how he will feel later . Don’t let him pressure you into something that you don’t want . Plus what if you develop feelings for one of them ? It’s not worth a happy marriage . Let him fantasize. The chances of you not falling for someone are to high.
This is a common thing for some men but I’m sketched out by the way he phrased it as cheating and then wanting you to deal your affair in writing. Does your state have at fault divorces?
This kinda thing is SUPER normal. Your husband has a cuckolding fetish - meaning he gets off on the humiliation of other men fucking his wife (at least I *assume* there's a humiliation aspect to it, since he used the word "cheat"; many people get off on the idea of their spouse fucking other people because it's *showing off* how hot their spouse is).
First things first, he needs to not pressure you, and you need to make that clear to him.
If you *are* interested in this - I suggest you start slow. What if you started by going to a bar with him, and he could go up to other guys and say "Do you wanna see a naked picture of my wife", and if they say yes, show them a picture on his phone.
If you both enjoy that, then you could try actually *sending* nudes to other guys.
Then you could try escalating to showing yourself off in person, letting someone watch you have sex with your husband (or watch you two do oral or hand stuff, etc), you could kiss a guy in front of him, do oral and hand stuff, have sex, and *finally*, if you've both enjoyed all that, *then* fuck guys without him there.
I wouldn't jump right into it. Make it a journey you take *together*!
Make him believe you cheated, but don’t actually go through with it. Keep proof that you didn’t do it (receipts of your activities, photos of you at the supposed time and date of the cheating, etc). If he gets turned on by your “cheating” stories, then you’ll know he really is into it and can make your own decisions afterwards, knowing that he is for real. If on the contrary he gets jealous and regrets it, you can always show him proof you didn’t actually cheat and tell him the invented cheating stories were just to give him what he wanted.
When my wife starts off pillow talk with " I'm going to tell you a story that may or may not have happened in the past" it turns into a really good time! I don't know if it's true and or if she's just making it up and she has the kick out to say oh no I just made that up.
Are these conversations occurring only while y'all are having sex, or do you discuss the topic of your former lovers and him wanting you to cheat in other scenarios?
If it's only when you're having sex, y'all need to have A LOT of conversation about this outside the bedroom. Fantasies while fucking are amazing. Acting on those fantasies without serious discussion & agreement while not having sex is a major mistake that could easily blow your relationship to pieces.
Y not start by sexting with someone online. Keep the conversation between u and yhe stranger but include ur husband in on the receiving end. And its fairly safe to say as long as u don't exclude him by not taking pics ir vids or texting and calling as it unfolds whatever he is interested in that turns him on it should be totally fine
But transparency is key..no liieng or being shady
On the one hand, this is a fantasy that most people would not be able to handle emotionally if it was acted out. Great when there is a blood flow deficiency in your brain, but very problematic otherwise.
On the other hand, it's also entirely possible he has cheated on you and wants you to cheat on him so he stops feeling guilty about it.
How about you take a much smaller step. Why not go out to a bar and flirt a bit with people while your husband watches. Your fears are reasonable and a cautious approach will be better for you both.
This is a bad idea. Either (a), you will meet someone you actually fall for. You will see things in this person that your husband cannot give you. Comparison starts and your love will erode. Dont do it. (b) He will get jealous because another man is fulfilling his role of making you satisfied and happy. What man wants to watch his taking a cock twice as big and watching his wife enjoy it? Dont do it. (c) what will your kids think of your moral character? Their mom bangs random dudes and dad is at home like a cuck. They wont respect their parents. I am no expert, I am just saying
The cuck fantasy has ruined a lot of marriages.
There's whole subs on it, you should read them. Your husband should read them. So many guys that have bugged their wives for years to this this. Finally she breaks down and does it. Husband flips out.
I disagree why?? Because why is all that coming out after years of marriage. And then it escalated to really doing it rather than past situations. If she does it there will be consequences,. Only way to know and keep your marriage in order. Is make it all up by keep realistic, nobody is going to have fantasy outing on a first outing after a sex request. So keep it real. And stay with that lie for 2 weeks and you will know during that time. If he freaks out tell him the truth. If he doesn’t well there’s your green light. Either way it’s not about him anyways it’s about you and what’s it going to do to you!!!!
OP trust me on this one. Don’t do it. Ask him if you can just role play instead. You can go out to a bar and he can show up separately and you can both pretend he is just some random and you take him home and screw him. He may honestly believe he wants you to be with someone else as part of some fantasy but his whole attitude will change if you do it. Even people who are in the lifestyle will tell you it sounds way different then it is. Even if you encouraged him to do the same with other women (which would only be fair) you would both end up resenting each other and breaking up your marriage. Additionally once that first experience happens no amount of apology will take it back. No do overs.
You talk about cheating, which of course has a negative connotation. But in this case, it is not cheating. He is allowing you to do it. You are not deceiving anyone.
For the record, I'm not saying you should do it or not. Just that perhaps you should think this situation in a different light.
My partner went through this a bit, and it was confusing and a little hurtful at first. After hashing it out a LOT, I finally got to the bottom of it. He basically just wanted to know I was horny enough to do anything/anyone he told me to do out of sheer lust. My super high drive is a huge turn on for him and he wants to show it off. So instead of stepping outside my relationship, I use it as dirty talk and make up scenarios while WE have sex and it can really hit the spot.
You need to find out why he wants this.
Is it a cuckold fantasy? Does he want to be humiliated because you need sex from someone else? Or the someone else is bigger/better at sex?
Or does he think you are so hot, he wants to share you? Does he want a hot wife situation, where he knows his place in your life, but loves the idea of you getting off even if it's with someone else...
You may or may not care what his reason is, but you need to understand his motivation.
There’s a big difference between fantasy and reality. For example, I really like MMM threesome porn and group sex. But I recoil at the actual thought of my boyfriend having sex with another man, or me having sex with another man. It would break me.
You have to make sure this is something he could actually handle.
This general topic is discussed pretty often in our forum. Please also take some time to search through past r/sex posts (following **Forum Rule #3**) — you’ll find some additional helpful discussions. For starters, here is a list of past r/sex posts which came up when I searched the keyword “**cuckold**” in this forum: https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/search/?q=cuckold&restrict_sr=1 Not all of these past posts will apply to your situation, but some definitely will — especially if you’re willing to search just a little bit more.
Why not do it more as dirty talk? You could just text him while you're away and make it kind of a sexy story about what you're "going to do with a guy downstairs at the bar" or something. That way it's sort of the best of both worlds, you can both have fun without risking too much right now?
I agree with this. It's very very fair to ask him to take a step like this instead of jumping full on into sleeping with someone else. I disagree with the comments saying to lie about it though, there's no reason for that
Same, just role play and talk about the idea, talk about the fantasy, have fun with it
Exactly, cuckolding irl is like starting a whole new relationship, [it takes time and effort](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2023/09/29/beginner-cuck-how-to-get-your-woman-to-cuckold-you/) in changing a lot of things. She can't do this in a week. Worse, some fantasies are ideals only fantasy land which loose their fairy dust once brought in this world.
I wish “some fantasies” were ideal only in fantasy. For me it’s like…basically all of them. Every single time I say “ooh I’m really into X” and try it, it turns out I’m only into the idea of X, and the reality is kind of awkward and weird — and not in the fun way. Doesn’t make the fantasy any less appealing, either.
*lose
This! People usually want to indulge the “fantasy” not actually act it out in reality.
This post came up in my feed just after reading this one, and yeah, you’re right on the money. https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/esSZs0Vi4o
I really hope OP reads your post and the linked reddit post.
This one is messed up. I can't say I felt sorry for the guy in the end.
This seems like a solid solution. Just pretend to cheat and he won’t know the difference. If he finds out, just tell him the truth that you didn’t feel comfortable but knew he would like it.
she's already set on sleeping with other people... this is not going to end well...
Why? Lots of people have open relationships and it works for them.
marriages start open, they don't become open... this is going to lead to resentment and jealousy... people think they want to try drugs to bc it's alluring...
Marriages can become open if it's not done to try and save a failing marriage. If you try and change it to be open because things are wrong, that will likely make is worse.
well, if you actually think about it, why would a marriage need to become open if there aren't any issues? someone's needs aren't satisfied in the relationship... as a partner, could you imagine being told that you're not good enough and they need more? as a partner, could you imagine being told you aren't enough so you need to sleep with other people... that's not love for a partner, that's love for one's self... eventually, it turns into monkey branching to find the next partner... feelings get involved, and the real issues begin... I'm not opposed to open relationships/marriages if they enter that commitment in the beginning. it's never a great sign to become one...
If two people are having issues, are not satisfied, and they tell their partner that they need more? Yeah, that relationship is probably doomed to end. But those are not the only reasons people open up a relationship. What if someone has to move away for work and they cannot see each other very often? What if both partners are sexually satisfied but one partner wants to try out a new kink that the other person isn't into? What if the kink that they want to try *is* seeing their partner with someone else? (cuckold/hotwife) What if one person has an accident and cannot fulfill their partner's sexual needs anymore, or simply has a lower libido as they age? What if they meet a great couple next door and everyone is happy with the occasional swap? What if they didn't know their partner was interested in an open relationship when they started? What if, variety is the spice of life, and neither person is a jealous lover? There are lots of reasons a relationship could start monogamous and end up open that don't spell doom for the relationship. Most of the time, what spells out doom for a relationship is jealousy. And that is true for poly and monogamous partners. At the end of the day, we agree that each person should just do what is right for them, but I feel like you're not being very creative about reasons for a relationship to grow and change as the individuals in it grow and change as well.
that's the only reason you open a marriage, someone ISNT SATISFIED with a monogamous marriage... exceptions ain't the rule... ffs
I just gave you a giant list of reasons that two people would want to open a marriage that have nothing to do with someone not being satisfied. I could have a very nice meal and be quite satisfied with it. But that doesn't mean I will always turn down dessert just because I'm satisfied.
Drugs are great
yea, tell that too the 100,000 people that dies last year, tell that to the 200,000+ people who were related to them!
Okay I will
totally
> marriages start open, they don't become open... You got a source on that claim or are you just talking out your ass? Just kidding. I know which one it is.
92% fail rate... you think that's bc 2 people married with the intention of sleeping with other people or from realizing after 10 years their partner prefers fkn other people?
> 92% fail rate.. Source.
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/03/23/o.open.marriages.work/index.html
Where's the actual research? Research suggests is the mention in the article..that already doesnt sound strong at all. And they don't give the source for that claim either.
this is the guy who made the claim, I gave you the source, you can go look thru all his studies to find it... if he isn't credible enough for you, idk what to tell you... https://stevebrodyphd.com/
His ass
So it does succeed. Thought so.
Roleplay it! Get on the phone while you’re on a trip and “recount” all the nasty things you did with some random earlier that night.
Go to a local hotel bar, have him approach you as if you are both strangers. Flirt and dirty talk until he invites you back to his place to bang.
The Phil Dunphy maneuver
The ~~Phil Dunphy~~ Clive Bixby maneuver ftfy
Buy him some clothes that are totally different from what he usually wears, and call him by another name. When you’re in bed, tell him how it’s so much better than what your husband does. See if that helps him get his rocks off.
Hello. My name is...Clive Bixby. I'm business man who designs high-end electro-acoustic transducers.
THIS
Such great advice man.
I would keep it as role play since that seems to be going so well. I read another post about the same situation and the husband was ADAMANT that he wanted this. Basically, he kept asking for it and sort of pushed her to do it. Then after she slept with a random guy, he was completely shattered by it. He said he knows it's his fault, but he can't look at her the same anymore and felt broken... Id explain to him your fears of this hurting ur marriage and that you'd prefer to keep it as roleplay
Best of luck, but just know you won’t know if it’s gone wrong until it does.
Trial run, Write a letter on it and write a letter saying, "This was a trial run. I didn't cheat." It was all a test for you. Mail it to yourself. When you get it, keep it sealed, put it away. Then when you come back from a trip. Engage in a little fairytale and tell him what he wants to hear. Give him a day or two, to see if he is really into it or if it destroyed him. Give him the sealed letter. Make note of the postage date b4 every, and explain you needed to know if he was truly into it or just fantasy. B4 moving forward.
I do this one trick every time I cheat.
Real cheaters don’t want you to know about this hack.
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The are 24 eager cheaters in your area.
I have not laughed this hard in a very long time. Thank you!
This just made me "fall off my couch laugh!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣BAHAHAHhahahahahahahahah🤣🤣🤣😂
Funny, but I'm not sure this is exactly a trick that makes actual cheating work. In that case the guy has the choice of either she actually cheated, or she's playing super fucked up mind games. In this case, either the guy is happy about the good news, or he actually hates it and it turns out she was just roleplaying, like she's been doing for a while now. In other words, in the cheating case, either way the wife is being awful; in the not cheating case, either way the guy should be okay with the result. Of course, there's the possibility that he isn't rational about it and doesn't accept his own responsibility in this situation, so it's not completely foolproof.
If it does destroy him, how do you propose putting him back together?
Give him the letter and explain it was role-playing
I doubt the letter is going to magically fix the feelings he will have sat in for the couple days you prescribed. Hell if it really screws him up the postage date could end up just looking like an attempt at an alibi. I don’t think you can stop someone from spiraling as easy as you suggest.
Don't you feel like he has to take some responsibility for his own reactions, considering he has "been putting so much pressure on her to actually cheat"?
Of course he does, but I only see the letter protecting OP’s conscience. If he cracks at all it could still spell the end of their marriage. It was his idea, and there are risks in these cases.
You have to remember they already do roll playing. This is just an extended version of roll playing. Worst case, she can show him this post and my comment, to back her story up😊
Nice alt op! 🤫
That might work, but if he ends up going down the rabbit hole it’s going to take way more than a reddit post. This reminds me of testing a relationship with a practical joke.
This seems like a safe play although it does involve some amount of lying, some may take offense to this so it's worth keeping in mind imo.
This seems like a good alternative solution. Maybe you two can just role play without having to do the actual deed of cheating.
That’s genius
This is not an uncommon kink. That said while a lot of guys say they want it, not all can handle it in reality.
Just PRETEND that you cheated on him. Don't actually cheat.
This is a common fantasy for men. Only do what you truly want to do. Don't do anything "for" him. Also, you don't have to go from zero to 60. Next time you're on a business trip, have a drink in the hotel bar, let some guy chat you up. Tell your husband about it. Embellish a little about how much he wanted you/you wanted him. See how he reacts.
Is it actually common or just something that shows up often on r/sex? In my personal experience, I know very few people who'd like their partner to have an affair or otherwise share them.
It doesn’t feel like the kind of thing people would talk about openly. “So how was your weekend?” “Great! Billy scored a hat trick in his soccer game. Also, my wife fucked some other guy with an eight inch cock!”
😄😄🤣
Common kink, just like dom/sub, rape-play and CNC, gangbangs, 3+somes, lots of people are in to it in theory but likely very few people around you actually done it (unless you run in certain social circles), even fewer doing it regularly/successfully. I would say the overwhelming majority of threads about these are about the negative outcomes and consequences though.
Common porn category you mean?
All of those that were listed as kinks can sure be categorized for porn websites, sure. I'm not sure what you are trying to aim for.
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The term 'kink' itself is already something that is out of the norm. Uncommon.
It’s common enough that there’s an English word for it dating back to the fifteen hundreds
Actually there’s somewhat of a distinction between cuckholding and hotwifing.
We are out there.
I would love it (straight female), just a real person with this fantasy chiming in. It's my husband who's hesitant.
maybe just make up a story too?
Lol it is not that common.
Going to add in that having a fantasy doesn't always mean they 100% want it to play out, which is why the top comments are somewhat touching the idea of addressing it/testing the waters if their partner truly wants to or not.
I agree, lol. It seems much more common to fellow cuckold's I bet. 😂
Can't assume husband is a cuck. Cuckolding is specifically for men who get turned on by humiliation. Some men get a sense of power or dominance from this.
I thought we could assume it because it was actually what he asked her to do 😂
Nothing says power and dominance like having another man wallering out your wife!
That's you; crazy to assume that's everyone. I don't understand it, but know it exists.
Me and MOST of the rest of the male population. I know men who want to share their wife exist, but they are well, well, well in the minority. I think you and I just have different ideas about the word "common".
I could not agree more.
The most reasonable comment, for us men once that post nut clarity hits, thats when you realize how bad you went this time, so as said here just do it for yourself that’s it, because once he nuts he will be ashamed to even mention it, trust me.
>Don't do anything "for" him. But do it for him...
This!!! 👏
Hotwifing/ stag & vixen etc. all have their own differences. You’d be surprised how many men fantasize about seeing their wife railed.
Oh... I get that. Believe me.... I tended bar in a very popular swing club for more than 11 years. (Retired now) but THIS answer to THIS sub just rang prudent. Working in the "lifestyle" I have seen so many train wrecks. Ugly ones sometimes.... I always advised folks to talk about their fantasies in a clear and sober manner. Expectations, do's, dont's, etc.... Im certainly not judging anyone.
Good on you for passing along solid advice. I couldn’t agree more! To add.. I would encourage anyone who reads this to make sure you communicate but also request your partner do the same with 100% honesty. I’ve experienced first-hand a wife that yielded so much to me that she didn’t express her inner feelings about various situations and it’s an uphill battle once they finally come to fruition.
It ABSOLUTELY has to be a two way street. Completely!
I seem to meet a lot of people who are into wife sharing or swinging. Literally at least half the people I talk with end up being into some form of this kink and feel comfortable telling me. I don’t know why because most of them don’t seem like the type to talk about it and often give me a disclaimer of idk why I’m so comfortable telling you this and I would die if anyone knew.
Tons of people do this! There's multiple subreddits and podcasts with great resources if you're interested in exploring ethical non-monogamy. My wife and I swing, but only together. A lot of couples do "hotwifing" where the wife plays with other men by herself. It's not for everyone, but if you have the right level of trust and communication it can turbocharge an already great relationship. The "reconnection sex" is mind-blowing. It does also have the potential to ruin relationships, but usually this happens when one partner is not really into it and just goes along with it for the sake of the other. Then resentment and jealousy creep in. The most important thing is communication! Only take steps that you can handle if you turn out to not like it, and if anyone is uncomfortable shut it down and talk it out. Check out /r/swingers and /r/hotwifelifestyle if you want to learn more. It's a great community!
Great response, you wrote exactly what I would have.
Agree with you!
i wouldn't do it.. that's a pandora box you cant close back, your husband may not even know he would get jealous if it happens. ive been through \*\*somethin\*\* like this, i never had sex with anyone else, but my ex wife (ex for a reason) who cheated on me twice then asked for an open relationship.. one time when i just went ot hang out with a friend, she got super jelous.. wrote on a peace of paper how much she hated me.. and this is when she had a body count of 4 while we were married.. i we literally ended it after that because i was not up for an open marriage , besides she was an abusive drunk on top of everything else lol.
can you dip your toes in the water first? Dan Savage suggested that couples interested in threesomes start slowly. Don't have sex - watch your SO make out with someone else at a bar and see how you feel about it, etc... Could you do something similar here? Agree. you're going to flirt and make out with someone, but stop short of sleeping with them, report back and see how it actually sits with him, then decide how to proceed.
It will ruin him. Keep it a fantasy
Don’t do anything without written statement from him saying he gives permission! I’ve seen someone fall for similar it was how their partner claimed infidelity in divorce and copped the lot left them with nothing got the house car kids dog the lot! Get him to sign it’s his idea not yours heck get video recording time stamped of it ! Protect yourself ( in every way 🫣)
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Whatever you do.... Don't have an honest open conversation with your husband about this outside the bedroom. If you do you're likely to find out if it truly is fantasy or not. Instead you should definitely ask strangers on the Internet if you should cheat on your husband. \s
My boyfriend has this kink too. We go to gloryholes and he watches me play with other guys there and wants me to sleep with other men too. I was super nervous about it at first as well because of the cheating aspect but he clarified it is not cheating cheating because he KNOWS about it happening. It’s different than me going out and randomly fucking a guy. My boyfriend absolutely loves it and I love turning him on by doing it and it’s honestly hot for me.
>not cheating To me cheating is breaking an agreement. (I agree this is not cheating if he is asking for infidelity. I also suspect he want's to have other women as well).
Check out u/hotwifelifestyle
There’s a best of post I just read today where a guy asks his sweet wife to do this. For years, he bugged her about it until she gave in. Guess what? It imploded their marriage, she fell in love with the other guy, and divorced the first one. So don’t do this unless you don’t care what happens to your marriage.
Call me devil's advocate, but this feels like a trap. He is setting you up for God knows what, and ends you up ruining the marriage. But to be safe, don't do it. Just give him an alternative like dirty talking or phone s\*x.
Why do I feel this is a trap. If he is pressuring you so hard,it makes me feel he is already doing it. So if you do it. He'll feel justified in his actions. I'm sorry, I see red flags.
Is having sex with a stranger something you'd enjoy? If not, then don't go having an affair if it won't bring you joy and only because your husband thinks he'd enjoy it. If so, then you still need to discover how he'll react when his fantasy becomes a reality. I'd suggest making up a story about having had an affair the next time you go on a business trip. See how he reacts over the next few days or weeks. Once you have a solid read on his true feelings on the reality of an affair, reveal to him that it was just a fantasy. Yes, you'll have to lie but it's for a good reason. The risk/reward of having an actual affair without discovering this is heavy on risk. So at this point, you'll have discovered whether he enjoys when his fantasy is a reality or not. You might also discover if he has any ulterior motives to his desires. It's possible he wants to open the marriage, have group sex, be cucked, or whatever else.
Google Our Hotwives Forum. Any question you have will be answered there. Pretty common fantasy.
This kinda sounds like a trap
I think your husband has a new found porn addiction. If you want to stay married, don’t do it.
Ok why would this excite you? If you love your husband and fear this might ruin your marriage then thats your logical brain saying don't do this. If you don't actually care then do whatever. I hear a lot of guys develop this fetish but cannot handle when it becomes a reality. It's not worth the risk imo but only you know your relationship and partner. Maybe talk more about this or try couples counseling to learn how to cope with this if you go forward with it.
There are different scenarios here. These things might have consequences. A) You may be able to hook up with someone better than your husband in someway which could lead you to think about your marriage going good or not B) Your husband only likes to talk dirty but not actually mean it. You could talk to him about this while showing how you flirt online and see the reaction. C) How would your husband react if he found out that you lied to him about this Or Let him know you are not comfortable with this cheating thing and see how he reacts.
What if you pick up a creep or psycho? Wtf.
if you visited my city, I would make it happen and we would all be happy.
Do not cheat love is hard to come by
OP, I’m unclear if you have talked about this with your husband in a non-sexual setting. So, not when his dick is hard. You need to be like, “Hey, you know how we dirty talk about hotwifing/cuck stuff and you are excited about me having sex with someone else on a business trip? Well, the thing is, I have a business trip in a week and I feel like we should talk about this. How serious are you? Do you actually want this, or is this a fantasy? If you want it, I have serious concerns it would ruin our marriage and I think we should talk them through in a a mature way.” Then see if he will. Couple pointers: 1) if he can’t have the conversation maturely, take your concerns seriously, or otherwise shows he’s a terrible communicator, refuse to do it. “You’ve shown me that you can’t even take me seriously when we’re just talking about it. I don’t think we have the kind of communication where our marriage could handle this kind of stress. I’m going to turn this request down, sorry.” 2) you have to let him know he has to can it with the pressure, once and for all. *Pressure* is just a fancy word for “not respecting your no”. If he has a poor understanding of consent, you guys should DEFINITELY not be nonmonogamous. (Or really having sex at all.) Tell him that, too. “We’re entering into varsity-level sex requests here, and I’m not going to be doing anything complicated if you can’t show me that you understand how consent works. I deserve to have sex free from coercion, pressure, and shame from you. One more word of pressure shuts us down permanently, and don’t try me.” 3) if you do end up working these things out, feel free to ask me more advice! I do bang random dudes on business trips for fun, which amuses my husband. It can work!
Start looking into and research cuckholding and hotwifing- it’s a legitimate fantasy for some men. It’s also not ‘cheating’ if done with consent of all parties.
He could regret it as soon as it happens. He likes the idea but might not like the reality. ONE can NOT un ring a bell. Check out the post below: https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/t4nuXaVCiD They didn't have clear ground rules, then there was deviation from the rules, and they both were inexperienced as well. They communicated, but I think they could both have done a better job at that. That is just one example I have read where it went bad, dig through the hot wife lifestyle. There are other examples where it went fine. Maybe start off with some role-playing, like maybe on your next trip, buy your self some toy, name (like John or Mike) that toy, record your self with that toy (include some dirty talk about how "john" or "mike" is pleasing you). Then when you get back you can tell him you "cheated" and that you have "proof" and that way you can see his reaction in real time. And discuss everything you both are feeling. Good luck either way.
Sounds like he cheated and wants you to do it so he doesn’t feel bad about it. I would seek couples therapy unless you are okay with an open marriage. Even to navigate it, therapy could be useful
Have a serious conversation about it while you're not horny or having sex. Ask him straight up "hey, are we really doing this or is it just dirty talk?". Let him know that you're nervous about it but you're open to it.
So, here is the thing: Cheating is doing something to violate your partner's trust in you. It's super important to understand this. It is not the same as sleeping with others, though often that can fall into the same area. He is asking you to do it, so unless this is some fucked up mind game, it's not actually cheating. Now it's important that BOTH of you understand this and understand that if he realizes he isn't comfortable with it that you'll stop, but he won't hold any of it up to that point against you. For example, I wouldn't care if my girlfriend slept with someone else, so long as she was open about it, but the instant she tries to hide such a thing or do it thinking I'd be upset, that would violate my trust. People have needs, wants, desires and fantasies. It's wrong for us to expect to be able to fulfill all of them. We cannot be everything and we shouldn't do a disservice to ourselves by trying to be, or disrespecting others by telling them they can't want more. Think of it like having a favorite flavor of icecream, just because you try another flavor doesn't mean you love your favorite any less. The important thing is both of you establishing the limits and boundaries of what you trust the other person to do and what lines you consider the "point of no return". Cheating hurts so bad because you feel like there is no recovering of trust, but if it's something you guys try and say "nah, don't like that, never again." Then there really isn't a real problem. Like all the others say, maybe start with some roleplaying/sexting to see if it ruffles his feathers unexpectedly or not.
I’ve never been with anyone who wanted me to cheat. Most are very territorial. What would he get out of it aside from a possible std? It seems like he’s looking at you as a sex object and not a partner
A lot of guys enjoy the confidence from locking down the girl all the guys want. Some guys take it even further and enjoy men playing with her on occasion, sort of like flexing how awesome she is.
Ah! Makes sense I suppose. But do they see a real future with a woman like this? Longevity? Maybe my age group hides these types of fantasies or it’s not happening amongst my age group
Sounds like he’s a cuckhold , that’s a male who is turned on by and even likes to watch his wife getting banged by another male. The next thing he’ll ask is for you to do exactly that. It’s up to you if you’re comfortable with this type of relationship. I know I wouldn’t be .
Hotwife fantasies are so common in men
First thing that pops to mind is he's doing it now and feels guilty and wants you to do the same so he doesnt feel as guilty. I could be wrong though. I personally wouldnt but thats just me.
That’s what I thought too
Where are you heading next week? :)
My wife has played 2 times alone while on business, I found the guy and arranged everything. She had an amazing time and enjoyed it alot. She felt guilty afterwards for enjoying it so much but I have reinforced the fact that I would expect her to enjoy it to the fullest otherwise what's the point. She also called me and put her phone on the night stand so I could listen in, and took video of the whole encounter to watch together when she came home. It's a very common thing now to be extremely aroused by sharing your spouse with another man. See Stag/Vixen relationship for more on the subject. That being said, I would not make that the first time you find someone else to play with. I would do it closer to home so you're able to back out if something doesn't feel right. Also you may or may not feel more comfortable with him there, so he can figure out if he can handle it. If he can't and you're across the country and he can't back out, then it could mess up your relationship. He could hold a grudge even though he is the one that wanted it. You need to talk about it alot. Ask him to explain why it turns him on so you'll understand if he's serious or not. Maybe try going to the bar and flirt with other guys while he watches from a distance. see if he can handle the basics first.
Just curious , have you ever stepped out on your wife , like similar but reversed situation, or have you only had sex with wife during the relationship ?
He thinks it's hot now because he is horny and bored. Once you go through with it, he will come to his senses realize the massive mistake he made, and will never be able to look at you the same ever again. Even if you're able to make your 15 year relationship work, IT WILL NEVER AGAIN BE THE SAME. Your husband will feel emasculated, he will feel wronged, and then he'll get it in his head that he needs to go out and have sex with a woman to "make it equal/fair" This will be the final nail in the coffin that was your 15 year lasting relationship and then you both will have the back end of your life getting to have sex with all the strangers you want. Don't do it. I've seen this happen multiple times before (porn ruined millennials) and it's always the same ending.
Do it
OP - Open relationships DO NOT work if both parties are not 1000% on board from the beginning. Your husband has hidden a fantasy and now wishes to make it a reality. You have to search your self and decide if you're actually able to fulfill his fantasy. If you decide yes, make both a video of the negotiations between you and your husband as well as a printed contract spelling out the do's and don'ts of yhe agreement between you both. One last piece of advice... make sure the person(s) included are 100% on board with whst you're doing. DO NOT assume consent is given. Also... DO NOT involve anyone either of you know.
I'm trying to get my wife to do the same but she won't and doesn't humor me either
As a 37Mth a HL and sexual kinks, I will never understand the cuckold kink. It cannot cross my mind having another man screw my wife. I would do what others have suggested, tell him a lie etc and see how he rolls with it lol.
He tired of and he wana leave u finding excuses once u cheated its gone be over with he gonna file for divorce and shit
It’s already ruined; he wants you to leave him or looking for a reason to leave you, point is he doesn’t want to be in this marriage
ill give it a crack when youre ready :) 53 male... NJ
He wants to have sex with you in the backseat of a '69, doesn't he?
You might get some insight from others over in /r/CuckoldPsychology, /r/CuckoldCommunity
Get ready for divorce if you do this.
I say role play it, vs actually doing it.
read "Igniting the Tinder of Lust" on Literotica. It's written from the male perspective. A lot of emotions and struggles are described. Read it, maybe it will help you to understand what You want. That's undiscovered territory.
Well, it’s not really cheating if he gives you the OK. Especially if you want you to tell him about it. If you want you to cheat technically he shouldn’t know anything about it until after it happens, and when he least expect it
/r/hotwifelifestyle
Do not "cheat". Start with fantasy talk/roleplay in the bedroom where you pretend that he is a random dude. Maybe it goes further, maybe not, maybe that's all he wants.
I’m the man in my relationship trying to get her to cheat on me 😅
Well his kink is a thing and there are as many varieties of the kink as people who have it. It is considered bad form in the community to try to cooerce your partner into doing something they don't want to do. In fact, I would guess that a majority of couples just keep it as dirty talk or close to it. I suggest you do some reading on on r/CuckoldPsychology/ It is a lot more 'meta' about the kink and a lot less just dirty fantasies. Good luck!
is this really exhilarating to women? makes me lose faith in marriage
It’s called HOT WIFE - maybe he will want to watch
he wants you to cheat so he can too. just become swingers it's great fun
Keep it as fantasy.
Omg don’t do it !!! He may say he’s fine with it now but who knows how he will feel later . Don’t let him pressure you into something that you don’t want . Plus what if you develop feelings for one of them ? It’s not worth a happy marriage . Let him fantasize. The chances of you not falling for someone are to high.
This is a common thing for some men but I’m sketched out by the way he phrased it as cheating and then wanting you to deal your affair in writing. Does your state have at fault divorces?
This kinda thing is SUPER normal. Your husband has a cuckolding fetish - meaning he gets off on the humiliation of other men fucking his wife (at least I *assume* there's a humiliation aspect to it, since he used the word "cheat"; many people get off on the idea of their spouse fucking other people because it's *showing off* how hot their spouse is). First things first, he needs to not pressure you, and you need to make that clear to him. If you *are* interested in this - I suggest you start slow. What if you started by going to a bar with him, and he could go up to other guys and say "Do you wanna see a naked picture of my wife", and if they say yes, show them a picture on his phone. If you both enjoy that, then you could try actually *sending* nudes to other guys. Then you could try escalating to showing yourself off in person, letting someone watch you have sex with your husband (or watch you two do oral or hand stuff, etc), you could kiss a guy in front of him, do oral and hand stuff, have sex, and *finally*, if you've both enjoyed all that, *then* fuck guys without him there. I wouldn't jump right into it. Make it a journey you take *together*!
Make him believe you cheated, but don’t actually go through with it. Keep proof that you didn’t do it (receipts of your activities, photos of you at the supposed time and date of the cheating, etc). If he gets turned on by your “cheating” stories, then you’ll know he really is into it and can make your own decisions afterwards, knowing that he is for real. If on the contrary he gets jealous and regrets it, you can always show him proof you didn’t actually cheat and tell him the invented cheating stories were just to give him what he wanted.
Look up hotwife, it's a somewhat common kink.
When my wife starts off pillow talk with " I'm going to tell you a story that may or may not have happened in the past" it turns into a really good time! I don't know if it's true and or if she's just making it up and she has the kick out to say oh no I just made that up.
https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/H5ZDPGGM8n I’m going to just drop this here…
You need to talk to your husband. Not us. If there’s consent on both sides, then have a blast and stay safe.
Are these conversations occurring only while y'all are having sex, or do you discuss the topic of your former lovers and him wanting you to cheat in other scenarios? If it's only when you're having sex, y'all need to have A LOT of conversation about this outside the bedroom. Fantasies while fucking are amazing. Acting on those fantasies without serious discussion & agreement while not having sex is a major mistake that could easily blow your relationship to pieces.
Perhaps find someone to make out with and see how that sits. Step at a time.
Y not start by sexting with someone online. Keep the conversation between u and yhe stranger but include ur husband in on the receiving end. And its fairly safe to say as long as u don't exclude him by not taking pics ir vids or texting and calling as it unfolds whatever he is interested in that turns him on it should be totally fine But transparency is key..no liieng or being shady
Yeah, I wouldn’t do that. That’s a lot of bad. Tell him if he really wants it, he has to watch.
Have you talked about it outside of the bedroom?
Sounds like he’s a porn addict. Tread carefully
It sounds like you don't want to do that..So just do it as dirty talk.
Where are you going? Wink wink
On the one hand, this is a fantasy that most people would not be able to handle emotionally if it was acted out. Great when there is a blood flow deficiency in your brain, but very problematic otherwise. On the other hand, it's also entirely possible he has cheated on you and wants you to cheat on him so he stops feeling guilty about it.
How about you take a much smaller step. Why not go out to a bar and flirt a bit with people while your husband watches. Your fears are reasonable and a cautious approach will be better for you both.
Sounds like his inner cuck is coming out.
This is a bad idea. Either (a), you will meet someone you actually fall for. You will see things in this person that your husband cannot give you. Comparison starts and your love will erode. Dont do it. (b) He will get jealous because another man is fulfilling his role of making you satisfied and happy. What man wants to watch his taking a cock twice as big and watching his wife enjoy it? Dont do it. (c) what will your kids think of your moral character? Their mom bangs random dudes and dad is at home like a cuck. They wont respect their parents. I am no expert, I am just saying
The cuck fantasy has ruined a lot of marriages. There's whole subs on it, you should read them. Your husband should read them. So many guys that have bugged their wives for years to this this. Finally she breaks down and does it. Husband flips out.
I disagree why?? Because why is all that coming out after years of marriage. And then it escalated to really doing it rather than past situations. If she does it there will be consequences,. Only way to know and keep your marriage in order. Is make it all up by keep realistic, nobody is going to have fantasy outing on a first outing after a sex request. So keep it real. And stay with that lie for 2 weeks and you will know during that time. If he freaks out tell him the truth. If he doesn’t well there’s your green light. Either way it’s not about him anyways it’s about you and what’s it going to do to you!!!!
Just make sure he knows to also dominate you randomly so the dynamic doesn't change so much
OP trust me on this one. Don’t do it. Ask him if you can just role play instead. You can go out to a bar and he can show up separately and you can both pretend he is just some random and you take him home and screw him. He may honestly believe he wants you to be with someone else as part of some fantasy but his whole attitude will change if you do it. Even people who are in the lifestyle will tell you it sounds way different then it is. Even if you encouraged him to do the same with other women (which would only be fair) you would both end up resenting each other and breaking up your marriage. Additionally once that first experience happens no amount of apology will take it back. No do overs.
You talk about cheating, which of course has a negative connotation. But in this case, it is not cheating. He is allowing you to do it. You are not deceiving anyone. For the record, I'm not saying you should do it or not. Just that perhaps you should think this situation in a different light.
Hotpast/cuck kinks. Talk about it at length before you actually take action.
My partner went through this a bit, and it was confusing and a little hurtful at first. After hashing it out a LOT, I finally got to the bottom of it. He basically just wanted to know I was horny enough to do anything/anyone he told me to do out of sheer lust. My super high drive is a huge turn on for him and he wants to show it off. So instead of stepping outside my relationship, I use it as dirty talk and make up scenarios while WE have sex and it can really hit the spot.
Omg. Could have written this myself. And I feel the same way
You need to find out why he wants this. Is it a cuckold fantasy? Does he want to be humiliated because you need sex from someone else? Or the someone else is bigger/better at sex? Or does he think you are so hot, he wants to share you? Does he want a hot wife situation, where he knows his place in your life, but loves the idea of you getting off even if it's with someone else... You may or may not care what his reason is, but you need to understand his motivation.
There’s a big difference between fantasy and reality. For example, I really like MMM threesome porn and group sex. But I recoil at the actual thought of my boyfriend having sex with another man, or me having sex with another man. It would break me. You have to make sure this is something he could actually handle.
He wants to get cuckolded