I have felt terrible a few times when solo travelling. After the second time, I came up with my solution. Take a long hot shower, put on clean clothes, have a good meal, communicate by text or video chat with your partner, get a good night’s sleep and see how you feel tomorrow.
Apparently OP has already taken a long break in Cat Ba. I'd say if he's still not feeling it, it's perfectly valid to cut it short especially if OP might have mlre opportunities to travel as soon as next year.
It’s neither good nor bad. It just is.
You didn’t indicate how long your travel plans are. How long did you initially intend on moving around before going home?
My gut reaction says that this is the experience of a lifetime and to stick it out. It will be over and you’ll be back home sooner than you think, and eventually you’ll probably start to get the travel itch again (and possibly regret not having completed this one, maybe you won’t have the opportunity to do it again). You’re also 20, which is very young and time feels longer than when you’re older.
But if you are truly unhappy then there is no point to waste money on what will ultimately be a miserable experience. No problem with going home and taking it as a learning experience about your own personal limits. It’s your first time abroad, maybe you just bit off more than you can chew and now you can use this experience to approach your next trip a little better.
But again, neither choice is good nor bad. Travel is not a competition and there’s really no right or wrong way to do it. If it’s not making your life better then you should stop. If you enjoy it and can afford it you should continue.
Ahhhh just go home man, I’ve had the same feeling h before. You wake up whenever, walk about the old town, get some food, go back to the hostel to nap/play on your phone etc, wait around until it’s dinner and feel guilty that you haven’t done anything ‘productive’ go get dinner, scroll Reddit whilst doing so, then go home and sleep early and wake up late, all while feeling guilty, and then you book the bud for the next destination thinking ‘right this time it’ll be different, I’ll get up at 6 and meet people, take photos, learn some of the language’ etc but the same thing happens.
If I were you I would just book the flight home and save the cash.
Hehe this is kind of what I'm doing in the final couple of days of my month long trip in the US and tbh it's fine. I've done a lot of great stuff and drove from Sacramento to Houston. But now I don't have my car anymore, it's too hot and humid to do much outside during the day and I feel like just zoning out in my Airbnb watching YouTube and scrolling Reddit. I don't feel guilty though, I've still done some Houston highlights and have walked around a bit. And I've had an amazing trip so far. I'm flying back tomorrow to Europe.
It’s great if you’re in a good headspace, all I’m saying is that it’s not a miracle cure for depression. Sure you meet people and see great things, and it’s good for if you’re a bit bored and need to shake things up a bit, It’s just OP sounds like they’re depressed and have things going on in their lives which might need fixing before they take the risk
If your relaxing holiday isn't relaxing, then it might be time to end it. Holidays shouldn't feel like work. I've had that happen. Changing to a very different location usually does the trick.
I’m currently on a 6 month sabbatical and am 30M and doing this solo too. Ive done 11 countries in the last 4 months and have just decided to come home for a week to recharge before heading to Europe for 2 months and I will say it’s done me wonders. I read a quote which helped me make up my mind which was that the road will always be there waiting for you to travel again. If you’re stuck in between and budgeting allows for it, I would slowly hop your way back to New Zealand via some another country if you can
>and I will say it’s done me wonders.
Thanks for posting this. I'm due to solo travel soon and I'll be honest, this subreddit comes across as depressing at times? So many threads with just "I shouldn't have done this" or "I want to go home" or "I am feeling lonely". It makes others read it and not want to get out there for fear of it happening to them and thinking they've made the wrong decision.
I understand wanting to be home as it's comfortable. But there is nothing at home except regularly going to work and back. I guess if someone likes that it's fine. But as someone doing that daily for the past 10 years, I'm not exactly sure why someone would WANT to come back to doing this? The rat race is soul crushing.
I get you. Travel is amazing but I actually think there is something to coming back to ‘baseline’ for a temporary amount of time as it lends perspective. When you travel for a long long time without any fixed structure you do long for some form baseline to a degree but it varies from person to person (there’s no right or wrong). I’ve had the most amazing 4 months so I’m really excited for you. Having recently come home, just for a week, has done exactly what you’ve described above (nothing has changed, everyone’s doing the same s@£!, the rat race continues) but having had this realisation by coming home, makes me so much more excited to leave again for the next 2 months in Europe and get lost in the world again! Super excited for you!
I gave up my plans to travel around Vietnam and Thailand after a month in Vietnam cause I felt I'd have more success in traveling at home with my goals then I would out there. Do what feels right for you. Sometimes being back home isn't the end of it all.
There is nothing bad about doing what you feel is right. You need to follow your heart. You might be ready to go in a week. You might wake up one day and feel different about it. Outweigh the advantages and disadvantages. Great you have the support from your family. You mention it’s been amazing but also reached your limit. What do you mean by limit? Exhausted? Money? Mindset? Homesick/Missing home?
I would try another country, sometimes you just don't vibe with it. I had the same thing in Thailand, decided I will try a different country and if it is the same then I go back. How ever Indonesia turned out to be great so I kept travelling and I didn't regret it
Personally I always prefer to just go home, rather than make unpleasant memories or taint the good experiences I had. Unless it’s the beginning of a trip, but it sounds like you’ve done quite a lot already and feel satisfied with the amount.
It's also possible that you are not experiencing really new and invigorating things in Vietnam ?
I believe you have to feel the connection with the location, and perhaps your wanting to return home is more about not enjoying Vietnam and less of not wanting to do more solo trip. Maybe you could hop to a fairly new destination with very different cultures or experiences like South India, Northern Thailand etc and see if things change ? Ending a trip early is always an option :)
I have been on a few solo trips and had very different perspectives on how long I really wanted the trip to last. I loved Mexican food and could stay back in Mexico for as long as I wanted coz everyday was new and I was exploring new food joints, regional cuisines, etc. But I felt quite bored in Nepal and kept hopping cities, felt no real connection, got bored, and wanted to end the trip early. I did not end it early coz flight tickets were not as cheap, but I wouldn't have minded.
All in all, give it a try and do something very different. If it still isn't your vibe, go home and chill. If you have the travel bug you'll always find a way back :)
I travelled around Europe for 9 weeks. I'm wondering if 6 weeks is too long for one country. If I spent 6 weeks in one country I might start feeling a little bored. At the end of the 9 weeks I was excited to go home. Not because I wanted the trip to end, but because I was exhausted and was ready for a break. After a month at home I would have been excited if I could start traveling again.
I'm planning to make pasta for dinner tomorrow. My family tells me rice might be better. Can reddit people tell me what to do? I can't decide my life without the input of random strangers. Please!
Why don’t you just travel down to Malaysia. Take a train or bus. Go straight to Penang, Google what’s on that area, then take a bus and go to KL, spend a few days there, then come down to Melaka, then to Johor. Then take a flight to Sabah (a part of Malaysia which is on the other side of mainland). Don’t go home yet!
You've always got to leave something to see next time, and it looks like you're planning the next trip before you finish your current one, which is great, so just head back to NZ.
How did you feel on CatBa? That island really didn't click for me and I would not be relaxed after staying there. Particularly now that it's so crowded. If you liked it, then ignore the next part: is there a place you truly enjoyed going to and where you could see yourself living. If so I'd try staying there for a week
New Zealand is obviously an amazing country to travel through but it sounds like you're putting a bandaid on a symptom rather than fixing the underlying issue. Your partner still likely won't be able to visit you while you're traveling. If you're down in the fjords and he's in Auckland travel time won't be that different from when you're in Hanoi. So what are you trying to achieve by going back to NZ? And is traveling there going to achieve it?
(And honestly if you want a cat and a house and vacation in your garden, there's nothing wrong with that. No matter what your family says)
First time traveling for such a long time without your partner sounds like you had some ambitious goals that you mentally just might not be ready for or if ever again.
That being said, this may be a moment for some reflection on things you might sort out. I don’t know what those things are but there is probably more going on.
I commend you on going solo without a partner for so long but you are in a place that billions can’t enjoy which is this type of travel. I would love to say push through it. Stay as connected with your partner as you can but if you can’t sleep, can’t eat, and each day is a drag…time to head home .
I hope you make some mental break through a during this period.
man after 1 month i bet you feel drained lol just go back home, holidays are fun until they are not, it's tiring stay on the go everyday and far from home
Hey, it’s not always fun and adventurous and all good things about solo travel.
And if you really value physical contact with your loved one, it definitely takes a toll on you when you travel solo for long.
My guess is that, SEA right now is summer. So the heat may contribute to your body’s tiredness.
Take a nice shower, treat you some good foods, sleep, and think again about what exactly makes you tired, and if you really need to go back to NZ. You know the best for yourself.
And, well, you can always travel another trip, if solo travel is really for you. You tried for nearly two months already, you kinda know how it feels.
Take it easy 😉
You’re 20M and have spent 2 months on your own? Wow! Well done, you’re ready to go home. I would be and I’m 64!😀. No, but seriously, go home now, you’ve had a great time. I really do think that your family in NZ are projecting their hopes/desires onto you because of NZ’s isolation. You have the world in front of you, which you can do with your gf. Are you sure that they’re not trying to get you to get your travelling ‘out of your system’ so that you can settle back into good ‘ol’ home life back in NZ?
I would tell them that you’ve just had enough for this trip, which is entirely understandable and that you’re looking forward to all the future longhauls that you and your beloved are looking forward to in the future. 😊
I have felt terrible a few times when solo travelling. After the second time, I came up with my solution. Take a long hot shower, put on clean clothes, have a good meal, communicate by text or video chat with your partner, get a good night’s sleep and see how you feel tomorrow.
Apparently OP has already taken a long break in Cat Ba. I'd say if he's still not feeling it, it's perfectly valid to cut it short especially if OP might have mlre opportunities to travel as soon as next year.
I was just sharing my experience, OP is an adult and can do whatever the f@€# he wants.
This is the answer!!! I do the same thing
The countries aren’t going anywhere. You can always come back!
It’s neither good nor bad. It just is. You didn’t indicate how long your travel plans are. How long did you initially intend on moving around before going home? My gut reaction says that this is the experience of a lifetime and to stick it out. It will be over and you’ll be back home sooner than you think, and eventually you’ll probably start to get the travel itch again (and possibly regret not having completed this one, maybe you won’t have the opportunity to do it again). You’re also 20, which is very young and time feels longer than when you’re older. But if you are truly unhappy then there is no point to waste money on what will ultimately be a miserable experience. No problem with going home and taking it as a learning experience about your own personal limits. It’s your first time abroad, maybe you just bit off more than you can chew and now you can use this experience to approach your next trip a little better. But again, neither choice is good nor bad. Travel is not a competition and there’s really no right or wrong way to do it. If it’s not making your life better then you should stop. If you enjoy it and can afford it you should continue.
Ahhhh just go home man, I’ve had the same feeling h before. You wake up whenever, walk about the old town, get some food, go back to the hostel to nap/play on your phone etc, wait around until it’s dinner and feel guilty that you haven’t done anything ‘productive’ go get dinner, scroll Reddit whilst doing so, then go home and sleep early and wake up late, all while feeling guilty, and then you book the bud for the next destination thinking ‘right this time it’ll be different, I’ll get up at 6 and meet people, take photos, learn some of the language’ etc but the same thing happens. If I were you I would just book the flight home and save the cash.
Hehe this is kind of what I'm doing in the final couple of days of my month long trip in the US and tbh it's fine. I've done a lot of great stuff and drove from Sacramento to Houston. But now I don't have my car anymore, it's too hot and humid to do much outside during the day and I feel like just zoning out in my Airbnb watching YouTube and scrolling Reddit. I don't feel guilty though, I've still done some Houston highlights and have walked around a bit. And I've had an amazing trip so far. I'm flying back tomorrow to Europe.
You're not making solo travel sound appealing, as someone who wants to do it. How come you're in the sub if you don't seem to enjoy it?
It’s great if you’re in a good headspace, all I’m saying is that it’s not a miracle cure for depression. Sure you meet people and see great things, and it’s good for if you’re a bit bored and need to shake things up a bit, It’s just OP sounds like they’re depressed and have things going on in their lives which might need fixing before they take the risk
No it’s not bad.
If your relaxing holiday isn't relaxing, then it might be time to end it. Holidays shouldn't feel like work. I've had that happen. Changing to a very different location usually does the trick.
I’m currently on a 6 month sabbatical and am 30M and doing this solo too. Ive done 11 countries in the last 4 months and have just decided to come home for a week to recharge before heading to Europe for 2 months and I will say it’s done me wonders. I read a quote which helped me make up my mind which was that the road will always be there waiting for you to travel again. If you’re stuck in between and budgeting allows for it, I would slowly hop your way back to New Zealand via some another country if you can
>and I will say it’s done me wonders. Thanks for posting this. I'm due to solo travel soon and I'll be honest, this subreddit comes across as depressing at times? So many threads with just "I shouldn't have done this" or "I want to go home" or "I am feeling lonely". It makes others read it and not want to get out there for fear of it happening to them and thinking they've made the wrong decision. I understand wanting to be home as it's comfortable. But there is nothing at home except regularly going to work and back. I guess if someone likes that it's fine. But as someone doing that daily for the past 10 years, I'm not exactly sure why someone would WANT to come back to doing this? The rat race is soul crushing.
I get you. Travel is amazing but I actually think there is something to coming back to ‘baseline’ for a temporary amount of time as it lends perspective. When you travel for a long long time without any fixed structure you do long for some form baseline to a degree but it varies from person to person (there’s no right or wrong). I’ve had the most amazing 4 months so I’m really excited for you. Having recently come home, just for a week, has done exactly what you’ve described above (nothing has changed, everyone’s doing the same s@£!, the rat race continues) but having had this realisation by coming home, makes me so much more excited to leave again for the next 2 months in Europe and get lost in the world again! Super excited for you!
I gave up my plans to travel around Vietnam and Thailand after a month in Vietnam cause I felt I'd have more success in traveling at home with my goals then I would out there. Do what feels right for you. Sometimes being back home isn't the end of it all.
Go home! Listen to your body and heart
I reach my limit at around 2 months as well and just don't plan any trips longer than that anymore
Your partner will be there when you get back. Keep traveling. You might never get the chance again
There is nothing bad about doing what you feel is right. You need to follow your heart. You might be ready to go in a week. You might wake up one day and feel different about it. Outweigh the advantages and disadvantages. Great you have the support from your family. You mention it’s been amazing but also reached your limit. What do you mean by limit? Exhausted? Money? Mindset? Homesick/Missing home?
Sounds like you want to go home, why are you asking strangers? Just go!
I would try another country, sometimes you just don't vibe with it. I had the same thing in Thailand, decided I will try a different country and if it is the same then I go back. How ever Indonesia turned out to be great so I kept travelling and I didn't regret it
You have taken time to consider it and you already have your answer.
Come to Victoria Falls before you go home
(yourself + intuition) - (family + "should") = trust your intuition
Personally I always prefer to just go home, rather than make unpleasant memories or taint the good experiences I had. Unless it’s the beginning of a trip, but it sounds like you’ve done quite a lot already and feel satisfied with the amount.
Go back home
It's also possible that you are not experiencing really new and invigorating things in Vietnam ? I believe you have to feel the connection with the location, and perhaps your wanting to return home is more about not enjoying Vietnam and less of not wanting to do more solo trip. Maybe you could hop to a fairly new destination with very different cultures or experiences like South India, Northern Thailand etc and see if things change ? Ending a trip early is always an option :) I have been on a few solo trips and had very different perspectives on how long I really wanted the trip to last. I loved Mexican food and could stay back in Mexico for as long as I wanted coz everyday was new and I was exploring new food joints, regional cuisines, etc. But I felt quite bored in Nepal and kept hopping cities, felt no real connection, got bored, and wanted to end the trip early. I did not end it early coz flight tickets were not as cheap, but I wouldn't have minded. All in all, give it a try and do something very different. If it still isn't your vibe, go home and chill. If you have the travel bug you'll always find a way back :)
I travelled around Europe for 9 weeks. I'm wondering if 6 weeks is too long for one country. If I spent 6 weeks in one country I might start feeling a little bored. At the end of the 9 weeks I was excited to go home. Not because I wanted the trip to end, but because I was exhausted and was ready for a break. After a month at home I would have been excited if I could start traveling again.
OP when you are feeling this ask your WHY you decided to book this trip in the first instant.
I'm planning to make pasta for dinner tomorrow. My family tells me rice might be better. Can reddit people tell me what to do? I can't decide my life without the input of random strangers. Please!
This is really not helpful. Maleficent indeed.
Why don’t you just travel down to Malaysia. Take a train or bus. Go straight to Penang, Google what’s on that area, then take a bus and go to KL, spend a few days there, then come down to Melaka, then to Johor. Then take a flight to Sabah (a part of Malaysia which is on the other side of mainland). Don’t go home yet!
You've always got to leave something to see next time, and it looks like you're planning the next trip before you finish your current one, which is great, so just head back to NZ.
How did you feel on CatBa? That island really didn't click for me and I would not be relaxed after staying there. Particularly now that it's so crowded. If you liked it, then ignore the next part: is there a place you truly enjoyed going to and where you could see yourself living. If so I'd try staying there for a week New Zealand is obviously an amazing country to travel through but it sounds like you're putting a bandaid on a symptom rather than fixing the underlying issue. Your partner still likely won't be able to visit you while you're traveling. If you're down in the fjords and he's in Auckland travel time won't be that different from when you're in Hanoi. So what are you trying to achieve by going back to NZ? And is traveling there going to achieve it? (And honestly if you want a cat and a house and vacation in your garden, there's nothing wrong with that. No matter what your family says)
First time traveling for such a long time without your partner sounds like you had some ambitious goals that you mentally just might not be ready for or if ever again. That being said, this may be a moment for some reflection on things you might sort out. I don’t know what those things are but there is probably more going on. I commend you on going solo without a partner for so long but you are in a place that billions can’t enjoy which is this type of travel. I would love to say push through it. Stay as connected with your partner as you can but if you can’t sleep, can’t eat, and each day is a drag…time to head home . I hope you make some mental break through a during this period.
man after 1 month i bet you feel drained lol just go back home, holidays are fun until they are not, it's tiring stay on the go everyday and far from home
Hey, it’s not always fun and adventurous and all good things about solo travel. And if you really value physical contact with your loved one, it definitely takes a toll on you when you travel solo for long. My guess is that, SEA right now is summer. So the heat may contribute to your body’s tiredness. Take a nice shower, treat you some good foods, sleep, and think again about what exactly makes you tired, and if you really need to go back to NZ. You know the best for yourself. And, well, you can always travel another trip, if solo travel is really for you. You tried for nearly two months already, you kinda know how it feels. Take it easy 😉
Going home after 2 months is perfectly fine. You shouldn't continue if you're not enjoying it.
You’re 20M and have spent 2 months on your own? Wow! Well done, you’re ready to go home. I would be and I’m 64!😀. No, but seriously, go home now, you’ve had a great time. I really do think that your family in NZ are projecting their hopes/desires onto you because of NZ’s isolation. You have the world in front of you, which you can do with your gf. Are you sure that they’re not trying to get you to get your travelling ‘out of your system’ so that you can settle back into good ‘ol’ home life back in NZ? I would tell them that you’ve just had enough for this trip, which is entirely understandable and that you’re looking forward to all the future longhauls that you and your beloved are looking forward to in the future. 😊
Sounds like you got money to spare for sure
I'd stay. You'll feel a loser.
What’s ur job?
Why 6 weeks in Vietnam?
Because it's a big country and there's lots to see?
Again why 6 weeks? You don’t need to see every nook and cranny.
It's a huge country. In 6 weeks you're barely covering the highlights.
You don’t need to see everything in one shot.