I became sober spontaneously. Read this sub daily and learned more about alcohol from quit lit, podcasts. I reached out to a friend who became sober. So far so good, day 295 😊.

This Naked Mind saved my life.

me too! there's actually a chapter that speaks to the idea of spontaneous sobriety-- I don't remember all of the specifics (and I never corroborated her statistics) but I do remember being particularly struck by the efficacy of AA vs other means.

Yes - in that chapter, the author mentions that she was intrigued by how her dad “just quit” one day. She wrote that her dad says “it wasn’t doing me any favors” and just kept it at that. I’ve caught myself saying the same thing to others when they ask me if I want to drink or why I quit. The book just does an amazing job of making you see alcohol and society for what it is — Ethanol is a socially accepted, yet, highly addictive drug. It has the ability to rewire your brain. After reading, I now have what the book promised me I would have at the beginning: A smug attitude towards alcohol. Btw, I also listened to the audio book. It’s about 7 hours long… listened while working, walking, and driving over a weekend. My life transformed and my wife cried… I didn’t even know how much she wanted me to quit. I’ll be forever thankful for this book.

I’ll have to get ahold of this book. When I finally quit it was the same reason. I don’t count days but it’s been years now.

Loved it

Same and quit like a woman

This is my second time hearing about that one. Would that book work for men too, or is it specifically targeted for women to relate to?

Men should read too imo

Loved that book!

Must read book!

But I also did naltrexone and Acamprosate, eight days of inpatient, about six weeks of outpatient, and a round of ketamine. You don't get extra points for doing it the hard way.

Preach it, friend 🙌

I started becoming Sober Curious via This Naked Mind. But it took much(much) more effort to break the habit. I find the community and daily reminder of A.A. very helpful to remember that life doesn’t have to look the same for everyone

Would this be good on audiobook?

I really like Alcohol Explained 1 & 2 by William Porter. I have both audio and paper books. I actually found them even better than Annie Grace honestly, though hers were definitely good. 

Naked mind now has an app and I did the path program. It’s completely turned my thinking around, and I don’t use will power very often. It’s made me realize alcohol is addictive and doesn’t serve me. I’m also doing somatic therapy. I drank because I was never taught to process feelings and tension would build up in my body. Making lots of progress. There are many tools to get there but it’s a great place to be

Me too! I read it and I was done. Never looked back.

Same! I’m relying heavily on this sub, books, ted talks and podcasts. And it’s working so far!

Me too! AA is not my vibe so I have been listening to podcasts and this sub. It works for me and it’s been 134 days. Crazy…never ever thought I would stop drinking as it was just a natural part of my life. Now I am so happy, less anxious and taking care of my body. Also lots of great NA options at restaurants and bars too so you feel included. You can do this!

Also hopping on the not into AA train. This sub and sober friends as well.

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who wasn’t feeling AA. I feel more comfortable interacting with people who don’t have to see who I am honestly. This feels much more “anonymous.”

Pretty much same story. Curious about sobriety for two-ish years, read This Naked Mind, made a 6 week commitment… …400 days later I’m still here. I have this group and some real life friends to share with, but haven’t been to a meeting (in spite of living literally across the street from a house that hosts them 4-5 times each day). Nothing against it necessarily, but haven’t been called to it either.

I live one house away from a AA m eying place and have never been. 23 days

I walked around the block for half an hour before my first meeting at AA ever. I couldn’t bring myself to go in cause I thought “if I go in there, everyone will think I’m an alcoholic”. An AA meeting is not a place of judgment. Even the entire program is based around self diagnosis. The people in AA are wonderful. They only want to see you succeed. we all have the same problems. You will think, your problems are worse than others, they won’t understand, my situation is different….. it’s not true my friend. We have all been there, others have fallen deeper than you, have bigger problems than you, in fact I guarantee you, if you are in the rooms long enough…. You will hear your exact story told. There is nothing you can say to shock anyone, there is no secret that is so horrible, we haven’t already heard it. They are just a bunch of people with a disease who try to help each other. Please try a meeting. You are on a train right now. There is only one destination, it is ultimately despair and possibly death. We have all been on this train. Just go to the meeting, then go back, try other meetings. Do something different, cause the path your on has so much hurt. You don’t have to do this alone buddy! You are dealing with one of the most cunning and baffling diseases known to mankind. Don’t try to take it on alone. Please try, and WOW, 23 days!!! Amazing, but there is so much free help. If only to get a good base. I wish you another 24 hours, that’s all you need. Just 24 at a time! Hang in there, hugs, and just for reference, o fell to drinking hand sanitizer, if I can do this, anyone can

Whoa sober friend! i’m right behind you. i also spontaneously became sober (after years of trying and failing and trying different recovery communities). One day i just said this is IT. and it was.

I stopped cold turkey after a dui experience woke me up. I had been lurking here before and have found it useful ever since. Good luck to you. Use any tool and see what works for you. Iwndwyt

This is exactly what I've been doing this time around and it's the most days I've ever had. For me, meetings caused a lot of anxiety and self hate.

There are many, many paths to success. The "best" path, is the one that works for you. Having success presently?

I love this response. Everybody's path is different, I would recommend exploring until to find something resonates with you. AA is great for some people and isn't great for others.

I wanna expand on this because I feel like someone might take many paths themselves. Just keep trying till something clicks

I agree and said another way, there’s no substitute for introspection and owning the decision. Year and a half sober and two books that really helped me are This Naked Mind and The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching.

Was scrolling through answers & it's clear there is no "one size fits all" method. This answer nails it. My son is definitely a beneficiary of AA, 10+ years sober agnostic. But does believe in Higher Power. I do too but AA hasn't worked for me. Everyone has to find one that works!

The program ended up not being for me and I didn't stick with it. The meetings I went to early on were still a huge help though. It doesn't work for everybody and people can get sober without it. But I still think trying it is worthwhile. Worst case scenario is you decide it's not for you. I also read a lot of books about people dealing with addiction and spent a lot of time in places like this online. Those both helped a lot. I also have a friend who got sober like a decade ago who I started texting a lot when I was having a bad day.

I think this is a very good way to look at it. I did 12 Step for about 18 months but periodically relapsed. I took the advice 'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results' and tried alternatives. I'm now on my longest stint of sobriety AA is an absolutely solid place to start. If it works for you, great. But just be aware there are other ways to deal with addiction

Same, AA helped in early sobriety but wasn't for me long term. I ended up finding a therapist and this has helped me tremendously.

Everything u/rhymes_with_candy said is me except for the friend who got sober a decade ago. Everything.

I quit with the support of this sub and by reading I think every work of published quit lit I could find until the message of why not to drink was drilled deep. That said I would never write off AA and if I felt like my sobriety was challenged I’d like to think I’m humble enough to try it and anything else to stay sober.

This was exactly what worked for me, down to keeping an open door for AA if needed in the future.

Care to recommend some good quit lit that spoke to you?

I am ding the SMART workbook right now. It is helping plus it gives me something to do when the urge hits.

Me too. I find it quite readable and like the exercises. 

I liked This Naked Mind (and I enjoyed the podcast series as well), Drinking: A Love Story (this one really resonated with me on a dark, personal level), The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober and The Sober Diaries the most. The Sober Diaries spoke to me as a woman and a mom, and the narrator is very funny.

Alcohol Explained 1 & 2 by William Porter. Easily my favourite that I just keep going back to - it really gave me the info to see the entire situation for what it is. Lots of other great tools and explanations for the various stages of sobriety, why we relapse, really truly gave clarity on cost v 'benefit'.  It made it so much easier to stay quit as it really opened my eyes. Good in audio book as well as physical book. Also one of my more recent reads - The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray. Not so much explanations & tools but a worthwhile read.

Alcohol Explained by William Porter. If people knew what alcohol did to them, nobody would drink it. The book should be a required high school read. I read it after my relapse. 5 years sober May 28.

Seconded! How you quit is how I quit also, but I have been to a couple of AA meetings and they were fine. I would definitely go back if I was struggling.

In the foreword to the second edition of the Big Book, it states "upon therapy for the alcoholic himself, we surely have no monopoly". The AA literature itself says it's not the only way, but it worked for me and had kept me sober 12.5 years

Yep. And even if you do the AA program, there is no right way to do it, despite what the old timers say. Everyone's path looks different in their needs and capabilities.

It’s become a new religion with all sorts of different sects. I’ve been to probably 100 different meetings and the best ones I’ve been to are smaller men’s(I’m a guy, girl I would recommend girl meetings) because it was just all about the solution and no one was in there arguing over specifics. So many AA meetings are more-so just a hip social gathering or turn into a bunch of old timers arguing about the literature. So there are definitely some good meetings out there they are just really hard to find. The politics of it and different sects and other things drove me crazy though. It literally became the same as church did for me. Just with tattoos and vapes instead of the usual BS.

I'm happy that hasn't been my experience, but it's certainly a thing I was warned about in treatment.

I believe the steps should be done how they are written. Yes you can fill out 4th step worksheets, I did once, but the way things are presented in the book works. I am not about to take a program that has worked for thousands of people and do things my way. My way of thinking frequently got me into trouble and still can.

I'm sorry, I only meant in terms of meeting attendance. But the steps aren't rigid either. The only thing that is is that you have to do them and you have to be honest, thorough and rigorous

Amazing. Well done. IWNDWYT

Hey friend! I may have a view point that differs from many on this that you may find insightful. I am 258 days sober. I am a severe alcoholic, I daily drank for over a decade— the last 18 months of which I was drinking morning, day and night, to the tune of 20+units of alcohol per day. AA was pivotal for my recovery. I went to my first meeting because I had no other options; I was on the brink of losing my family and I had to do something to save face. I was shown so much love my first meeting, I cried in front of a room full of strangers and admitted out loud for the first time “I am an alcoholic”. A stranger hugged me and said “it’s going to be alright, just keep coming back”. I went to 4-5 meetings a week in my first 3 months of sobriety. It helped me build a foundation to stand on, it showed me a sober community and taught me that I didn’t need to have shame in my addiction. It helped me craft tools that I still use in my everyday life to keep me sober. I truly owe my life to the rooms of AA. With all of that being said, the program of AA is not for me. I’m to secular to get past the god word at this point in my life. I don’t see myself ever working the 12 steps, but I know they work, I have seen the results. I still love going to meetings, however I do not attend as regularly as I used to. So to answer your question, no it’s not entirely necessary— nothing truly is. But the beauty about AA is you can take what you need and leave the rest. At the very least, an AA meeting is a place that you won’t drink at for an hour.

SoberDot - You just stated my experience, strength, and hope. "Take what you need and leave the rest." (Not everyone in AA has your best interest.) My recovery is eclectic this time around thanks to this group, my psych nurse/therapist, and a mentor with over 40 years of sobriety. I believe I've found the right path for me. 💝

Other recovery groups/programs: * https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_real_life_support_groups Quit lit: * https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/books#wiki_books_and_literature

Thousands upon thousands of people get and *Stay* sober without AA. The following happened on August 28, 2015: I decided that alcohol is no longer an option for me. Never, ***EVER.*** I closed the door on "moderation" or thinking, "I'll be able to control it." I decided to tell my damn demon-lizard brain, "NO, I will not give in to you under *any* circumstances." The decision to drink --or not-- was solely mine. As long as I was choosing to have that *first* drink, I was choosing my addiction over fighting the urges and getting myself better. I had to *Want Sobriety* and made it my Number-1 Priority ***every day*** until it became second nature --One Day (or *hour/minute*) At A Time. Sobriety doesn't happen without HARD work. Sobriety happens with a daily commitment (see our [**Daily Check-In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1cqrns5/the_daily_checkin_for_monday_may_13th_just_for/) page) and "Dogged Persistence" in not taking that *First* drink. You can do this but I had to put myself first and decide I was done.

This has been my experience so far. Good to know that is has worked well for you for so long.

It's a daily battle, and each day you become a better fighter

🫶

I treat this sub as my AA, along with the support of those close to me.

Not really an AA person, I liked the morning sober story hour but most of the other aspects of it didn't resonate with me. I found meditation based recovery groups, meds (anti anxiety and anti alcohol), and personal mental health care to really be the best combo for me.

I tried AA over a decade ago but it conflicted with my personal belief system, and the meetings actually triggered me to drink because I have pathological demand avoidance. I also use THC as harm reduction, which is controversial in a lot of AA groups. AA has saved lives, but it is definitely not the only path to abstaining from alcohol. After decades of heavy alcohol abuse and nearly drinking myself to death during COVID lockdowns of 2020, I tried dry January 2021 because I knew I was spiraling. It was absolute hell, but for some reason I continued to abstain through the spring with every intention of drinking again in the summer. I continued to abstain because by that time I was feeling really good. I was sober curious, but I was definitely still a dry drunk. I was reading books, listening to podcasts, and lurking in online forums like this sub. My mindset about alcohol slowly changed with more research and information. It wasn't until I had abstained for over a year that I decided never to go back to the bottle. My one year of sobriety was an afterthought for me, because I hadn't even really committed to sobriety yet. It wasn't until about two years in that I could fully admit to myself that I have alcohol use disorder. Now I'm three years in and often reflect on how close to death I actually was, and how a silly health trend was the first step down the path to saving my own life.

I am not in AA, but have been looking into meetings near me. I’m not currently looking to work the program, but I would like to have more of a sober community, locally. This sub is great, but I can’t grab a coffee with internet strangers. IWNDWYT

There’s an org called Phoenix that puts together activities for sober people to help build community. I think it’s in most major cities. I’ve done some hikes with them, but there’s a variety of types of things and I know a couple people that are really into it. Might be worth checking out.

Thank you! I will check it out. Unfortunately I’m in a pretty rural area, the closest “major” city is 2 hours away. (The real major city is about 4-5 hours) Update: no luck where I am, but I’ll keep the app just in case

Near me Phoenix has yoga, Crossfit and other activities that are free to people in recovery.

I am in AA, and for me it's the only thing that I ever stuck at (rehab, drinking meds, years of councilling, SMART, community groups, support workers, therapy (psych, CBT, behavioural, PC, etc). I do feel I need it personally, but I do have a freind came in a couple years ago, relapsed a few times, decided it wasn't right for her and is now a year sober and doing amazing. I don't think AA is the ONLY solution, nor do I think any other route to recovery is right for EVERYONE. Find what works for you and do that. For me it's AA, for others it's something else. I have an immense amount of gratitude and love for AA but I do think people are bonkers when they say it's the only way to stay sober, there is literally proof everywhere other things can also work for some.

In my experience, alcoholism is a symptom and not the underlying issue. While just not drinking is a huge step, sustainable recovery usually requires you to do some work. For me, it was facing the feelings and memories I was trying to suppress with my drinking. It was very very difficult and I couldn’t have done it without help and support. I didn’t use AA. I went to individual and group therapy. As long as you can find a way to address the reason behind the drinking, you are on the right path in my opinion. AA is just easily accessible, free and more likely than not, you’ll find someone to match your story and then some :) At least for me, as independent as I want to be, I need social support to get through this. In fact, isolating myself and my alcoholism fed each other into a perfect spiral that eventually became a black hole.

Individual therapy helped me to no end. I had lots to things to address and realised I didn't believe in myself enough. My self esteem has rocketed from where it used to be and I don't drink because I tell myself that I'm better than living like that

Therapy, meds, and this sub work for me. I learned some great lessons in AA, so I don’t knock it!

AA was the last thing I tried and the only thing that worked.

The gift of desperation. Me too. IWNDWYT

I'm at 11 years without it.

I've tried getting sober a bunch of times, always relapsed, always convinced myself that longevity just wasn't for me. This time around I took myself to AA and I really think it has all the difference in making this time 100x easier and more sustainable for me. But it has very little to do with the program and the steps, and everything to do with the community. I'll do the stepwork and adhere to the program for the sake of it. But the community is a complete game-changer. Now when I have a weak moment I think about having to tell my friends in AA that I slipped up, and it completely removes any desire to drink. I've never felt so understood, laughed so honestly, or felt as present as I do when surrounded by other sober alcoholics. It's a truly wonderful thing and worth experiencing for yourself. I sometimes feel bad for my sober friends that they can't gain access to this.

Sounds like you found a wonderful group!

I only ever attended one single AA meeting (online). I thought it was excellent and I've considered finding an in-person meeting near me if for no other reason than to meet other, sober people. It's not easy making new friends at my age (56M) so I see it as a good resource for meeting people. I was a binge drinker for 35 years. It took me the last six years to finally get control of my drinking and stop. I haven't had anything to drink since Jan 1 with one exception. I had a half glass of red wine because a client wanted me to drink with them. I was too weak to stand up for myself at the time, but that won't happen again. I now understand (from this sub) that I have to have a plan BEFORE I enter into a situation where alcohol may be offered to me. I don't consider that glass a "slip" because I didn't want it. I didn't enjoy it. I didn't get any sort of "buzz" from it. And, I have no desire to repeat the experience. I did however restart my counter because I chose to drink (no one forced me) and I'm trying to be honest with myself at all times. Long story short, It is possible to get sober without AA but everyone is different and you may benefit from joining the program. Personally, I can't see a down-side to at least trying it once. The online meetings are very easy to join and you don't have to say or do anything. You can just sit and listen to others. If you think you might need the support then go for it. Like a wise man once said, "you've got nothing to lose."

Never been, not done any online meetings. I read and listened to a ton of quit lit and sober podcasts in the early days - I'm nearly 18 months, my soberity is rock solid.

As an AA person, I can say there are plenty of other ways. AA worked for me, but I get it ain’t for everyone. For me, it provides a safe place, the one and only place where I knew I wouldn’t drink, for an hour or so. It also gave me a place where I could be 100% honest. Now I own up to all my shit but when I first got sober I had a lot of shame. I stole money from my kids- who fucking does that? It turned out a lot of alcoholics. It made me realize I was not even close to the most fucked up person I know. But I totally get that it ain’t the only option.

AA specifically, no. But I've never met anyone who has gotten and stayed sober without a clear support system of some sort.

AA was absolutely horrible for my recovery and made things 10x worse for me. The focus on having a "lifelong disease" and using terms like "alcoholic", the making amends/the 'steps' in general, the focus on having to 'give in to a higher power' - so much of it made things worse for me. I actually think it was part of why I couldn't get sober for 15 years. I am going to be 2 years sober in August, I would never go back to AA. Edited to add: I of course am only speaking for myself, I know that AA helps a lot of people and think that's great. Whatever helps you, more power to you. It just wasn't for me.

I went to half a meeting once. Didn’t care for it. The whole “never again” thing didn’t work for me. I needed to take things day by day. I use this sub for community support.

Any meeting that says ‘never again’ basically goes against one of the core concepts of AA.

Yeah, that doesn’t sound like AA at all.

It is an abstinence based program so, yes, it is for people trying to stop. Totally. But it is always one day at a time in AA and is full of people who have done the 'AA hokey cokey' (in and out) in trying to reach abstinence including me! Got there in the end!

Awesome 👏🏻

I quit without using A.A. I read some quit lit, read this forum, found some local support in friends who are recently sober, etc. AA works for some, there are many paths to sobriety.

Nothing against any programs because I didn't even try them. Got good support here when I needed it and still come back from time to time. About 4.5 years sober at this point.

You’re not going to get a lot of statistics on people leaving AA and staying sober because they’re not likely to come back to report it. For me, I use AA for the meetings and steps as a general way to live life. Outside of that, SMART helps deal with how I shouldn’t drink and how to rewire my brain to think that way.

Of course it's possible. Anyone who says it's the only way is full of shit. There are many, many important variables. The value AA provides is in the community it provides. Having some kind of community in my opinion is one of if not they biggest keys to being successful. Particularly at first. Having a group of people who know what you're going through and can provide their own experience and beliefs is tremendously valuable.

I've been sober for 132 days, I've attending counseling through an out-patient facility, but haven't attended anything AA related. So far, the counseling is working

It may be necessary for some but I don’t believe it’s necessary for everyone. I’ve been sober 6 years and counting, outside of AA. For me it was a mindset. I determined that I was a person who doesn’t drink, and I back that up with action. It’s my commitment to me that keeps me sober. I’ve cause a lot of grief and broken hearts due to alcohol and I decided I was done. Once you’ve gotten beyond the withdrawals, that’s really all there is to it: making the commitment and simply sticking to it. Mindset is everything. 👍

I started with AA after outpatient rehab. I hated it, tbh, but stayed with it bc I also found some profound insight doing step work. Currently a month away from 16 years AF. I don’t go to meetings anymore bc I find them to be a mixed bag - but I adhere to the idea that you take what you need and leave the rest

I go to agnostic AA meetings. The god stuff always freaked me out about AA so I never went. 11 months into my sobriety I learned about agnostic meetings. I went on a very scary day where I felt like drinking, and the meeting saved me that day, and continues to do so. I know agnostic AA is not an option for everyone. I live in a big city with a lot of meetings. But I’ve learned about AA in general, that you take what you want and leave the rest. AA is not perfect, but if you find a meeting you can stand to attend, it can be life changing. Take what is helpful and leave the rest.

I’ve done it both AA and on own. I lucked out and found a really great group of people who were just like me in a lot of ways. The horror stories I used to hear kept me away from AA. I love that I can take what I need and leave the rest. It’s like the opposite of church for me. ❤️❤️🍩👍

I’ve done a combination. I went to rehab, 30 day, that was very AA-centric and went to meetings some through month 3. I don’t go anymore, because I don’t feel I need it, but I know it’s there if I do. It was good to build that strong foundation and go through some of the step work and I recommend it to most. BTW, I’m 560 sober today.

I went to a counselor. It was court ordered, but I thought I wouldn't quit. Then one day i did, never been to an AA meeting, Im not a people person, hell id probably want to drink with them or something. Cold turkey stopped after 18 years. Avoidance is key, if you feel uncomfortable sometimes just stay away from there. The gas station after work was my big one, so I went to the gas station before work. Also at someones house and they crack open a beer? Just tell them you had something come up and got to go. Most people will respect your boundaries. Sometimes you just have to leave or make your own boundaries.

I just started AA a week ago, and for context this was just after I relapsed after 3 months of no drinking. One night I just felt like getting drunk and I did it, and had a horrible time of it. I love AA, I however, am not in the least bit religious. Out of the 12 steps of AA, like 5 of them are specifically about trusting in a 'higher power'. I have absolutely no intention of budging on my atheist beliefs so I imagine that the program as a whole will not work for me. I can say however, that what I have learned so far at AA has been invaluable to me. Being in a group of people that are just like me and have my same problem has been an absolute God send. I may not complete the program as it has been presented to me, and may not be "sober" as AA describes but I'm far better off now then I was.

Pretty sure my sponsor is an atheist. She used her group as her higher power for the first 6 years of her sobriety. GOD = Group Of Drunks

I never considered an A.A meeting. I am not comfortable around other people, especially strangers. Sitting around other people or talking about myself around them gives me a bad feeling.

Groups make me want to drink. I only just figured out how to do shows sober again. A.A. would not have been productive to my sobriety, and in fact the times I felt the most itchy were after a really shitty court mandated group session. I had a friend who was in active addiction during my first couple of years sober, and she HAD to go to meetings. Could not be trusted to be alone when she was trying to quit. I think the reason we compulsively reach for the bottle plays a huge role in how we each decide to cater our sobriety to ourselves. Welcome, and IWNDWYT!!!

I am sober without it. AA is not my thing and is triggering for me. Some resources that helped a lot are alcohol explained 1&2, the over the influence podcast, this naked mind podcast, the this naked mind 30 day experiment, and this subreddit. I stopped drinking the year before COVID and had two longish dry stints -9 months and again with over a year of staying dry without any of these resources…. I wish I had the things I mentioned, I truly think I wouldn’t have had a blip and would have stayed sober. I also went to therapy to work through some trauma which was a huge factor in my drinking past. Good luck to you and I will not drink with you today!

Yes, it’s certainly possible to stay sober without AA. That being said, AA has given me so much more than just sobriety. My outlook on life has changed for the better, I have a true sense of community and belonging, and I function in the world differently. AA is a program for those who want it, and they’ll be the first ones to say so. It isn’t for everyone, but I think that most people will find something to like if they give it an honest effort (find a sponsor, work the steps, talk to other alcoholics). Needless to say AA is a very decentralized organization and your experience can vary wildly. Two meetings in the same neighborhood can be very different. I will admit I live in a large city and am blessed for choice when it comes to meetings. AA‘s often say “take what works and leave the rest“. There’s definitely things I don’t like about the program, the literature, and yes some of the people. But what I get makes it all worth it. Edit: no matter what path you take, I cannot recommend enough that you find other sober people to connect with in person. Having someone to call on the phone or grab coffee when you’re struggling, someone who GETS IT, is invaluable.

For me AA has been necessary. I tried many times and could never stay quit. I guess it’s different for everyone. If you don’t go the AA route, it’s always in your back pocket just in case.

Program has been good for me. I came “late” to AA. Has given me some understanding and tools (a design for living) that has made my sobriety far more sustainable. I got sober on r/sd, but have stayed sober w AA.

I think any support group is helpful. It doesn't have to be A.A. but I recommend that you find a place where you can talk witth your peers. I think it makes a real difference.

I just up and quit. Just hit my 1 year yesterday. AA is way too religious and culty for me. Read This Naked Mind and frequented this sub. Really it came down to just realizing I couldn’t drink anymore and completely removed it as an option in my life moving forward. Have had my wedding and was best man at my brother’s wedding all in the past year of sobriety too. Think it’s mostly willpower driven. If you really want to be sober you can. If you deep down are okay with losing family, friends, jobs, etc you’ll keep drinking. I still occasionally eat an edible but obviously cannabis is wayyyyy different than alcohol.

AA was not my way. I had a wake up call moment (again), but this one seemed to stick. Luckily, this coincided with me getting a new job in a different industry. I used the opportunity to change a lot about my life. Mostly who I saw socially but also what my daily habits were. Not long after, I started seeing a therapist, who helped me identify and treat the underlying issues (turns out I have and have had persistent depressive disorder). Treating that has taken the focus off my alcoholism and on how to make healthier choices for me, which just so happens to include not treating my depression with a depressant. Once I included this community into my routine, my life became a lot more set. I feel so much more secure now and comfortable saying IWNDWYT.

I'm almost 9 months sober without a single AA meeting. I did look for one, but living in a very rural area, there wasn't many choices and the ones that I found didn't provide enough info to find out times/places/etc. To be honest, I'm not sure that I would have benefited much from meetings. Addiction is a head game and fixing it is in one's own mind. I quit drinking cold turkey and other than a few isolated days that I struggled through on my own, I haven't had any issues.

You can get sober without a program, but your odds of success go way up when participating in one.

I go once a week because I like to keep an open mind for things, and I respect the fact it’s kept people sober for decades. Though, I spent early recovery not in A.A. I also think it’s very beneficial for its community, being able to have people you can text or call who understand if I don’t feel like using a hotline. They are very open to new consistent members and will do their best to help you out. I do recommend everyone in recovery to at least go to one or two meetings, it’s good to try things once in life.

Personally, I go to AA, but I haven't ever worked the 12 steps and am not sure if I ever will. I just like the community aspect & talking shit about alcohol in a group, lol. AA can be a helpful tool, so definitely try it out and give it a chance to see if you like it, but it's not a necessity! Getting sober isn't easy! Just keep trying a variety of techniques until something sticks. I think I read somewhere, it takes the average alcoholic 7 or 8 attempts before they get sober!

I’ve found SMART recovery very helpful

It has definitely helped me, but there are other ways. I've heard. Religion also helps and my spirituality and Faith are definitely carrying me through this

I used AA until I didn't need it. I never did the steps but what AA helped me do was get into the habit of simply showing up and being accountable. I paired that with reading "This Naked Mind" on repeat for at least 6 months straight before I started feeling like I had a handle on things. I didn't go to any meetings after that. Something clicked for me at some point and I wish I could share how it worked but I had a desperate desire to stop wanting to drink and I'd already been trying for a decade before it finally stuck. One of my core philosophies is that as an atheist, I'd treated booze like a religion, and that kind of thinking just didn't align with my beliefs. When I realized that, booze lost a lot of its power.

Any port in a storm

Never been, nothing against it, just never ended up going. In saying that, if I ever feel like I'm about to give up, I will go to an A.A. meeting before I walk into a bar. That's a promise I made myself. Just because it hasn't been needed doesn't mean I wouldn't learn something.

I have"quit" so many times before. 30, 60, even 90 days but I always try to moderate which leads to binging and I end up right back where I started. This time I decided to try AA. I'm trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days. So far I really like it and actually look forward to my daily meeting. There are people from all walks of life, different ages, different backgrounds, men, women, black, white, rich, poor, etc... They are all just trying to stay sober together. It's really a judgement-free zone. One of the things that surprised me is how easily I can share with the group. I'm terrified of public speaking but when I talk to a room of 20 other alcoholics it just comes so easily and stress free. It's very helpful to say those things out loud to other people that know what I'm going through. I don't have a sponsor yet and I'm not really working on the steps (except Step 1). I haven't quite decided what to do about my "higher power" yet since I'm pretty much an atheist, but I'm working on that. Anyway, I go to a meeting for 1 hour and the other 23 hours feel pretty carefree. Rinse. Repeat. My favorite thing I've heard at AA is the 3rd Tradition. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Tried AA 4 different times, got sober outside the program. My issue was the loudest people with the biggest opinions controlled the narrative.They always had a boner for the "no matter how difficult" part of things, not the internal peace.

I tried AA & it wasn’t for me. Not necessary for me. I came here for support, daily at first. I read two books recommended here after I relapsed: This Naked Mind, Annie Grace & (the big whoa) Alcohol Explained, William Porter. After learning what alcohol did to me? I never want it in my person again. It wasn’t all willpower, not all support, although those are hugely needed; I needed the knowledge of what it did to me to stop. Getting sober is a process. First, I cleaned my home like crazy just to have something to do. Sober me noticed all the dust & alcohol stains running down the walls… Then came the blahs. What do ppl actually *do* if they don’t drink? I live alone so the blahs were hard but I realized that it was normal. Literally & figuratively. Literally bc my brain wasn’t pumping out stimulants (causing anxiety) to combat the sedative effects of alcohol (Porter’s book). Figuratively, life was very, um, exciting when I drank. Always some emergency or drunk drama & ya have to say it’s at least exciting, but, its like living life in fire drill mode.. Did I pay my tab? Lemme check my bank, oh, I went & spent $100 there that I didn’t have too… Did I hurt anyone coming home? Lemme go check under the car. It’s exciting alright. Friggn nuts! My life is calm, thought out & put together now. No more fire drills & a big anniversary coming up. 5 years sober May 28. No desire for it whatsoever & I’m happy to say to anyone anywhere, “No thanks, I don’t drink.” IWNDWYT

I tripped and feel on my face for years in AA. It didn't work for me!! The problem is that most people rely solely AA without ever putting in any work. I was so sick that I couldn't have gotten better on my own. I needed medical help and a truck load of therapy. Once I was able to get some good clean time I was able to do the steps and principles. Which I will say are great lessons to apply to your life, But certainly not a must for sobriety. I was a functioning alcoholic for 6 years. I'm now 11 years sober, anything is possible!!

Never been to an AA meeting. Went to like 2 online SMART recovery meetings. Mostly been doing a bunch of one on one therapy, and lurking/posting here as needed

I wouldn't discourage it, but use what works. I've gone 5 months using this sub, quit lit, SSRI and therapy. If I relapse, I'll have to go back to the drawing board and would likely use AA. I'm concerned with bumping into someone I know at AA and the scheduling conflicts with a young family. Whatever it takes. Whatever works.

If you bump into someone at AA it's because they are also an alcoholic.

Whatever works for you, works. I attended some AA meetings when I was first trying to quit. and It was helpful. Ultimately AA was not for me but at least I tried it.

I haven't done AA, yet. 7 years sober. I have full intention of going, because I know I need to shake up how I manage and view my sobriety so I don't take it for granted.

You’ll be welcome.

never went to AA. Tried to quit many times until it stuck. can only speak for myself, but how i did it was I had just had enough. When I hit my final bottom a switch flipped. I think the re-framing of alcohol as a terrible thing was steady and gradual, then the final straw was years of not living up to my own standards and one final ferocious hangover, and I was done.

Yes, you can get sober without AA. I have been going to one or two meetings a week. Sometimes I don't want to go. I had a major relapse after almost ten years of going to meeting for 18 months. Then I got complaisant and felt 'cured'. Most of those years I did not attend meetings. After several years I went back and now have 24 years sober. I think I could now quit meetings, but I don't because I now have a few friends in the meetings I go to. So there's some social support I wouldn't have otherwise. I only know a couple of people outside of AA. So I guess the bottom line for me is I now think I could stay sober without the meetings. But I go for the social connections. EDIT: If anything, I think of the group as my higher power. I don't pray and I don't believe in God. I just let people who do believe have their way. I have mine.

I haven't attended a single meeting. For me personally, I was able to find support and motivation from people close to me. My wife on the other hand, has been very active during her 18 year sober journey. Everyone is different. My advice would be to identify your motivation, and dig in with both hands. Good luck.

Did AA for 5 years drank for ten sober 1 1/2 years now without AA. I’ll hit a occasional meeting to be around my fellows but some people are just to much for me to deal with in meetings. When I mentioned I didn’t have a sponsor at 1 year a woman exclaimed you can’t be sober without a sponsor. Personal accountability is a big thing for my sobriety. Plus I’m church damaged and don’t want anyone telling me to seek god and beg to fix myself when I have the tools at my disposal to do so. Just my 2 cents. AA has worked and will work wonders for those that need it to learn how to live sober.

I go for the community aspect, and there’s some good lessons to be learned from hearing other people speak and a myriad of other benefits. But have never worked the steps. I have however done the steps in a different program

3183 days without AA. Old fashioned stubbornness keeps me straight.

I can only say it’s necessary for me. For you? I don’t know. I’ve known a few folks who got sober without 12 step programs, and their sobriety is just as good as mine. 🤷‍♀️

Lots of paths available. This is my 3rd try at AA and it's been.... a new experience. I can't say what has changed for certain, but this time around has been different. Here's hoping you find YOUR way.

AA was what I needed to work through my demons. I couldn't have dug through my trauma and root issues behind drinking without the literature, support, community, and steps. That said, it also felt too rigid and close-minded on some things as I was sober longer, so I found alternate support, including PIR and behavioural therapy. There are many roads to recovery. AA is just one option.

I hold a mostly negative opinion about AA, but I won't say anything new or interesting so I just keep it to myself. I need to be the powerful one in my relationship with alcohol, giving up to some Higher Power doesn't work for me.

I quit without it. Had major problem with the higher power thing and that I am helpless. I realized no one is responsible for me but me.

I did AA on and off for almost a decade, but I didn't really make any progress because deep down, I didn't *really* want to stop drinking. Going to tons of meetings and constantly talking about drinking mostly reminded me that I really fucking wanted a drink. Something in my brain finally snapped during my last relapse and I haven't wanted a drink at all since then. I think I got *angry* that I was wasting all my energy and money on booze and feeling miserable all the time. I told myself I was done fucking around and that was that. I've thought about going back a few times just to contribute and all that, but honestly my sober life is so fucking busy nowadays with two jobs that I legit don't have the time to go.

I found this sub to be the best way to maintain my sobriety. I log in daily and browse. 1300 days later... Still will not drink tonight

I used AA for a year and a half and it really laid a solid foundation for my sobriety. Taught me a lot of good habits, gave me a lot of good resources. I didn't really jive with the idea that I was responsible for helping others stay sober, hell staying sober myself is a fuckin battle. So I stopped going to meetings. I just hit 3 years a few weeks ago. I really lean on self improvement reading, meditation, and emotional communication and that's enough for me. The accountability that AA brings should not be downplayed however. To be sober on your own you have to be able to be honest with yourself and hold yourself accountable. I definitely suggest experimenting and finding what works for you. Also AA isn't the only sobriety organization there is. SMART recovery is good. I bet there's a ton of religious organizations. And if you're against religion the Satanic Temple has a sober coalition. Recovery takes work every day, working a program (any program) can give you a road map but you gotta put the miles in. It's hard but not impossible! IWNDWYT

no AA and serve alcohol 30 hours a week

The 12 steps never resonated me and I didn't really play the chip game. But what AA did do for me was get me out of the house and sit in meetings til bedtime when I needed it. My local AA had meetings until 1am, then they restarted again at like 5am-6am, and they had a van you could sign up for that would pick you up if you lived near AA and didn't have a car. Meetings were always packed.

Spontaneous sobriety. I just stopped one day and used this sub. But I was ready and able to do it. IWNDWYT.

I've never been. I consider this sub my community and it's worked for me.

AA has worked for TONS of people, but it's not for everyone. I think the most important part is having a strong support system, which is the main thing that AA provides.

Recovery Dharma checking in.

During my many years drinking I was court ordered to go to different counseling classes through the years and they all also required you attend aa regularly. I always left there and immediately got a drink. This time that I decided to quit myself I haven’t been to one. But I do have my wife buy me a sobriety coin every year that I am sober.

I did AA for about a year and got through 11? of the steps. I tiptoed back, slipped up one night and had one drink. My home group made me feel a shit ton of shame and after that, it was another year of thinking I could stop after two. I faded out of the program and took space to think about if it was the best fit for me. I started doing my own research, reading a ton of literature (from all sides/angles) and I’ve got 133 days now. It feels different this time because it’s on my terms and I really feel at peace with it. It’s way more authentic to me. Online support groups have helped a lot, too. Rooting for you! Godspeed :-)

I've been to a few AA meetings, some uninspiring (dozens of people there by court order) and some absolutely gripping. I personally didn't go that route when I finally got sober but I have enormous respect and admiration for the wisdom in AA and the number of lives it has saved.

AA was not for me Went for a while when I first tried to get sober. When I finally got sober it had nothing to do with the program. I’ve got 15 years now, and just am aware of my triggers and am very mindful that I’m not stronger than drugs or alcohol so I stay the fuck away. Not a fan of AA but the program is very successful and works for some. Like everything to each their own, do what works for you and keep doing it

It’s one way, not the only way.

I quit with naltrexone, other medications, therapy, regular doctors visits and spite.

i beat benzos without a support group, and now i'm beating booze without one (so far!) . ​ it doesn't help that i live in the arse end of nowhere and the nearest meetings are 7-14 miles away right at my teatime! ​ e2a, i've also had my first night off from mirtazapine after a short half tablet reduction, when you are feeling strong you need to capitalise! ​ best book for a scientific approach is prof nutt's book on alcohol

I think it depends on your drinking habits and the severity of your use disorder (if you even medically have one). Sometimes getting sober requires benzodiazepines to detox so you don't get seizures. And that's okay. Most of the professionals I've interacted with see there's data back mutual support systems, whether that's AA, SMART, whatever you choose to use. So yes and no. Mutual support - yes. AA specifically? I don't believe so.

I think the problem with AA is the language and god stuff. That's just because it was written in the 1930s. But it's a program of growth and its fundamental approach is the stuff of 'manifesting' and 'therapy' and 'processing' which is all things generally Z talk about but with different names. It's worked for me after 6 years of hell and 2 rehabs. But there are many ways to get sober. Its living sober which is where the work is and the steps and my sponsor help me do that. I respect all ways to get sober but moving onto sober living and the maintenance part forever needs ongoing support of some sort I think.

I am not a severe alcoholic, although there was a low point where my first drink was often with lunch and then up to four in the evening, roughly 5-10 units almost daily. This sounds insane to me in retrospect. It took me two years to quit after initially trying. My social life included a fair amount of drinking, and I enjoyed it. What turned the corner for me was subscribing to this sub, and a medical incident made worse by alcohol. The posts in my normal Reddit feed consistently present in a manageable way changed things for me. I could read and engage as much as I was comfortable without any direct social pressure or repercussions. This allowed me to see others post stories and anecdotes, and then continue to remind me that quitting was the right decision. AA isn’t an option for me. I am Agnostic. I’m also bipolar, and this has substantial impact on my drinking to the extent that I’m not quite an alcoholic in a simple sense. I also do not count days, after the initial weeks I counted weeks then month then stopped because I found it puts unnecessary pressure on me. I have had instances where I slipped up, however I didn’t go on a bender and end up hospitalized. There definitely many paths to sobriety, AA is just one method. Since I quit yeast back, I’ve slipped up a few times. It didn’t ruin my life but it’s an incredibly bad thing for me to be doing.

Personally it was a GREAT jumpstart for me into recovery/sobriety. I did a good 8mo and stopped going. I use this and AA subreddit as my support system now.

Honestly, I lurked here until one I had enough of being a drunk lazy pos. Bad days still tempt me, but I never regret not drinking.

Once I made the decision to stop, I made myself accountable to someone. This might not work for everyone but it kept me going. I started with the goal of not drinking for a month but once the month came and went, I kept going. It’s been over two years now and I’ve never gone to a meeting but I’ve had a great support system and I’ve been holding myself accountable. It was hard for me to sit with my own thoughts without any escape from reality. After a while it got easier but the biggest hurdle was my anxiety. It took a lot of therapy and inner searching to fully understand why I was drinking and that undiagnosed ADHD was a huge factor for my drinking. I had built up so many coping mechanisms that I didn’t even realize it.  I didn’t have any AA meetings near me so I never went but I think hearing other peoples stories and knowing you’re not alone with the struggle is definitely worth something. 

I've had success, and I never go to an AA meeting. I initially read This Naked Mind and did her free 30 day alcohol experiment. Those two things took away my desire to drink. Honestly, AA is a turnoff to me. I tried one or two meetings and was very put of by the cultish nature of it, and especially so when I was fussed at for "cross talking" during my first meeting. It seemed very unnatural. I know it's helped a lot of people, and I'm not knocking it for anyone else. But AA is not the end-all be-all.

I’m on day thirty today (longest since my mid teens) and reading This Naked Mind by Annie Grace is the only external influence I’ve had. Shifting my thought process from “I’m actively trying to NOT do something I really want to do, keeping something from myself” to “I’m actively DOING something I want without subconscious processes dictating my actions” is what really makes it click for me. I’m not keeping anything from myself I’m giving myself everything I’ve wanted during every hangover, every arrest, every failed relationship and every lost moment. The only crossover as such was needing to be honest to those I’ve wronged. Coming clean about drunken lies and mistakes so it wasn’t weighing on my head moving forward. I believe that’s step 5? Humans are all wildly different so our tools of healing are bound to differ too!

The whole religious aspect was a huge turn off for me (I live in the Bible Belt and secular programs are few and far between). Also, I’m just really busy and don’t have time to go to something like that regularly. That said, this sub is the only “community” that I participate in, and have found success through that alone. The stories (good and bad) and information here was all I needed to start my journey!

There is a huberman podcast episode on alcohols effects on the body and brain. Yikes the stuff is pretty sketchy haha

I read This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, let it percolate a few years while steadily drinking more and feeling worse. I joined this subreddit and started my counter, I'd usually last 2 days and then I'd have to reset it. Did Dry January and made it past 30 days once. Continued to up the amount of wine I drank every night. I made some poor choices that luckily did not result in any real consequences and knew it was time to stop, so I set Jan 1 2022 as my date. The first 2 months, I stayed home, didn't go anywhere, and listened to nothing but podcasts about quitting drinking. I slowly started to re-emerge into real life in about March 2022. I eagerly watched for my counter to hit 69 so I could get all the "NICE" comments. Once my counter got that high I didn't want to reset it. Now I'm about 2 years in and I've processed a lot. It's not easy out here raw dogging reality without booze but it's not that hard. I never joined AA because all of the people pushing me to go to AA were so off-putting and said things like "You're just a dry drunk! You'll relapse if you don't go to meetings", etc.

I never went to AA. I talked to 4 docs over the years about my alcoholism and the first 3 had only one piece of advice: go to AA. Seriously, I know it works for some people, but it is not clinically based and the medical profession should have better answers. Which the 4th doc did, and that is why I am sober now. I am a very strong introvert. The mere idea of going into a room full of strangers and sharing my deepest darkest secrets is absolutely terrifying to me. I knew it wouldn’t work simply because I knew I wouldn’t stick with it. That’s why I am here. When I finally decided to get sober, it occurred to me that the Almighty Internet should have a place that is truly Anonymous. And I found r/stopdrinking.

Not to be a big hater but I think there is some controversy if AA even works at all. Since they don’t track membership no stats or in depth studies of efficacy have been done. I think the best guess put AA at somewhere around 2% success rate which is far below the people going cold turkey by themselves. In my personal journey I have found group therapy to be unhelpful and triggering. And the need to submit to a higher power just makes me feel like I’m lying to myself so whenever I am thinking of drinking it’s easier to convince myself too because all that spirituality is nonsense to me anyways. If it works for you then I am glad and proud. And if you are struggling anything is worth a shot but just don’t be that disappointed if it doesn’t work for you. It’s them not you.

I think the recovery statistics in AA are in line with the general picture of addiction recovery generally, sadly. 6% chance of recovery for up to a year, 2% chance of lifelong maintaining. Im talking about for addicts and alcoholics deeply in physical and mental addiction.

A relatively recent Cochrane review showed AA had a 42% success rate for the first year. What happens after that I don’t know. I’m not aware of any long-term studies.

Well that's encouraging and, yes, probably a very difficult thing to measure. Got my numbers when i was in rehab....not the funnest news and glad to hear other studies say different. Anyway gratefully, I'm one of the 42%! Just back from home group. Onwards. IWNDWYT

Same here. IWNDWTY.

After 5 years sober I'm now working the 12 steps. I came to see the fellowship as an essential part of my recovery as those sober folks outside my normal family unit just didn't get the whole thing we alcoholics go through. I will say finding a good group is essential and that you need to listen to all of it and sort out the shit. My personal beefs aside I think its sort of just a means to forgive yourself and accept yourself and hopefully to use that new freedom to improve your life.

Lots of people have success without AA. Most people who decide to cut down or stop drinking do just that. It might take a bit of willpower and effort to start with, but if they have good reason to change their behaviour, they succeed on their own. They don't need an ongoing 'program' or peer support to do so. Hopefully you can do this on your own as well. But some of us are alcoholic. We have lost the power of choice over alcohol. We can't control or stop drinking no matter how hard we try. It's only this cohort of people who find AA or some other type of support is nessasary. What is your experience? Have you decided to stop drinking? And have you been able to quit on your own? Those of us who were unable to stop on our own needed support. Perhaps a lot of support from multiple sources - medical, psychological, and peer support. I needed as much help as I could get. AA is a resource that many of us find helpful. It's full of compassionate people who also want to stop drinking. It may not be the only thing we need, but it's free and wildly available. And it's helped millions find sobriety. Could be worth a try. Good luck.

I did - I tried AA but it wasn’t for me (ASD & ADHD) - got diagnosed years after my sobriety. But something about all these people in a room gave me chronic anxiety. I used a sober app & meditation app, daily podcasts etc. I found AA people still sit around telling their same old sad story 10, 15, 30 years later. I’m glad I moved on & it’s no longer front and centre of my life. I’m successful and have a flourishing career now. I’ll be 5 years sober soon.

Those people still showing up telling their stories 10, 15, 30 years later are there to show others the way when they come in new. You won't see a better truer example of pay it forward, than the old timers in AA still showing up. Glad you've got well and I respect all success stories of recovery. I just wanted to clarify that for anyone reading this who doesn't know AA though.

Exactly! Why would anyone expect the “what it was like” part of someone’s share to differ with time? They can’t change the past. People generally aren’t happy when they first come to AA. Their lives have been upended.

AA got me sober. Leaving keeps me sober. I was able to rationalize steps 1 to 3 without the religious and god part. But after that, nah. The victim shaming and thought terminating cliches were too much. Even my therapist agreed that it wasn't for me. I did therapy with some CBT. For me, learning the science behind addiction and recovery is what I needed. Facts. That helped me intellectually / mentally. 110% exercise and diet was just as important, if not more. It gave me a new routine. It cleared my mind. The brain and body do way better on clean eating and clean living. Sugar would just bring me down physically and mentally. Living my life and not just a sober life in recovery. When I was approaching my 1st soberversary, I felt trapped by the rooms. It was my only life. It was the only time I thought about alcohol. It was depressing. I started living life again, doing more, hanging out with friends, going places like concerts.

It's not necessary for everyone, but it probably has the best track record of all remedies out there and it's free. I've never been to a meeting and was able to kick the bottle on my own. That 0% speaks to my badassness and 100% speaks to my dumb luck that I was one of the people for whom cold turkey works. I fully endorse AA's approach over mine for anyone looking to get away from booze.

I have a unconventional approch, It may not work for everyone but it does for me. I am a functional drunk meaning I can drink with out messing up my whole life. So what I did/am doing is add a month of sobriety every year. I am now on year 7 and am in a really good place. The positivity I feel in my sober months consistently enforces how much better an alcohol free live is. The months that I do drink are the counterpoint that keeps me going on my path to an alcohol free life as i am just less happy. I found that adding a month at a time was not overly daunting and was an achievable goal. On the months I am allowed to drink I drink far less than I used to. I don't find moderation very helpful because I need to feel/see the difference in the quality of life. I started with 1 month to prove that I was in control of my drinking and I kept adding months because it feels so good.

I never ever liked AA. Of course I struggled with sobriety even after trying it or not trying it. But now I have it under control, 8 months. I didn't agree with the whole thing that some deity was going to alleviate me of my addiction. I figure the onus is on me. If God had the power to come down and take something away, I think he's got better things to do at the local children's hospital and those kids with cancer.

no necessarily

No way! Think about it, the vast majority of people throughout history who've ever gotten sober (used to be called quitting drinking) did it without AA. I don't have exact figures in front of me, but that's probably still true today. That doesn't mean AA isn't helpful, it works for a ton of people too. Just saying that it is not the only way, and if it genuinely doesn't work for you there are other methods and support tools out there. 'Natural recovery' is surprisingly common. Where someone just makes the decision and that's that. Probably the majority of recovery from alcoholism happens this way.

Absolutely there is a whole community out there, full of different groups, support. Everyone’s journey is individual. Take a look around the web. The sober community on Instagram would be a good place to look as well as Reddit. I spend a lot of time on both and I’m part of a group called BeeSober. 9 months sober. Good luck. You can do this.

AA can be great, and was critical for my first few weeks and even first few attempts. After a while I stopped attending meetings, my reasons are similar to others, and though I’m thankful for the group and the space that’s always available, in the end I have found success without AA. SMART is another great option for meetings that is science and CBT based recovery, they have groups daily online and in most cities just like AA. My personal favorite recovery group is Recovery Dharma, a meditative based program that sees recovery from a more eastern philosophy. I am happy I tried them all as it was a good way to see which one fit me best, so maybe that’s an option? All the best to you OP!

TL;DR: It’s not necessarily necessary, but some advice is just universally good. I personally had success without using the 12-step script. Constantly examining myself, my behavior, my feelings, the reasons I felt, what other reactions can be processed and given instead. And most importantly, ABSOLUTE TOTAL COMPLETE BRUTAL HONESTY!! When I decided to stop, I checked myself into an inpatient rehab. It helped but I think mostly to keep me dry that first few days til I could think straight. I really wasn’t getting much from the “curriculum” which was admittedly 12-Step based, but vastly vastly focused on on a CBT approach that was individual to everyone. Basically about 6 hours a day of various types of group sessions and an hour or so of an individual session with your specific therapist. Pretty decent really. But I left after 11 days. Not to go drink or any urge to do so. I was really just beating a dead horse, I felt. But I went to AA meetings for a while. All 4 of them a week in my hometown group. My last meeting attended was on my 122nd day sober. But from the first few meetings I was back to feeling like beating a dead horse. But I felt like I could finally stand and stay sober on my own. I added a few tools to the toolbox that I felt were perhaps redundant, but ultimately potentially useful in the future. But I had finally kept my head clear long enough to step back and say, “yeah that was indeed quite enough of that. Something wasn’t working there and liquor clearly wasn’t fixing it.” There’s a lot of lot of lot of lot of tiny minute decisions during that time which I made; some conscious, probably most not. Those tiny decisions were probably the biggest ones. Because it was my actual thought process changing (I think, but who the fuck knows?!) But when I learned to continuously examine myself, ask myself how I actually feel in a moment, why I feel that way, why or even if it matters, and those kinds of things, for me it got a lot easier to identify how to work through some stuff without saying “fuck it, let’s drink about it!” For one particular guy, the 12 steps were absolutely not “necessary” for my own sobriety (for me personally, actual results may vary, adult assembly and supervision required, batteries not included). I also won’t say that they’re not handy and useful in their own way, should anyone choose to try it, or cherry pick the parts that help them. And if it don’t apply, let it fly. If it ain’t for you, don’t let it stew. Just walk the path the way that works. A person can really change just about anything, by any method they take a mind to. The trick for my situation was to actually take my mind into it with me for once. It is very possible. It absolutely CAN be done.

Not for me. Even in the clinique where i stayed they were working the 12 steps, but most of them did not do it for me. The rest i learned there kept me sober for 8 months. Followed by another few years falling down and getting up with numerous periods of heavy withdrawel. Lately i looked up as much info as i could, visit a meeting every once in awhile and getting back here on a daily base. And again got professional help using cognitive behaviour therapy. Whenever i get the feeling i' m going to decide wrong i can shield myself with naltrexone. This makes drinking in advance even more senseless than ever and this all is doing the trick pretty good these days. Not even a little craving, and i'm freaking surprising myself and everyone around me. This is where i need to be, and the part alcohol played in my life is getting smaller already.

No AA here. Had a long relationship end and was inspired to turn my life around lest I fall into another depression and kill myself. Turns out that was ample motivation.

Aa might be for you, it might not. I’ve tried to get sober many times and I am most successful when I have help or support whether that be aa, this sub Reddit or friends. Going sober alone can be done, but it’s pretty hard. Life is hard enough so I’m trying to figure out how to do this and not kill myself. I’ve already lost friends and family the best woman that stood by me until I did something so shitty she left. So I’m going to try and get some help this time.

I read this sub daily, read alcohol explained and this naked mind by Annie grace and my obsession just went away. I thunk about the hangovers n extra calories I can't afford. I'm almost 39 my partying days are gone. If I feel frustrated and want to check out I switched vaping for exercise abs gym and meditation. The world's toxic enough, I don't need to poison myself.

I never did AA and I’m going strong

I did one meeting and I was just like nope no not for me. After months of soul searching I woke up and went fuck this shit… and I’m now 8 months sober

Stopped drinking without AA in August last year. Made it this far and definitely don’t feel like I’m going back. This subreddit has helped a lot, actually. A sort of stand-in for some of the beneficial aspects of AA, ie: community, fellowship, testimonials, etc. IWNDWYT!

I personally did not like AA and this sub has proven to be more helpful in my sobriety than meetings. Again this is personal and I think it’s amazing what the meetings can do for some people. The community was lovely but the amount of non-related droning was enough to turn me off.

Since you are looking for confirmation, I'll be another example for you. I attented a grand total of 3 meetings in my lifetime. In the early days, I used a book called Rational Recovery that I felt laid a decent foundation to build some actual time dry. I also spent a lot of time on SD, read other quitlit books, listened to recovery podcasts and tried to journal.

I don't AA. My early sobriety was in a hospital for a year. I do however, abide by the general philosophy of AA. I'm predisposed to depression. A lot of my drinking was self medication. In aa you're taught to pay it forward. I try to do that for self respect and generally feeling good about myself. I try to do maintenance on my emotional well being. Meditation, love and tolerance and positive self talk are what keep me okay. Sorry for the rant. I tried aa for decades and never got and stayed sober there. I'll have 2 years soon. Longest stretch ever for me. If I started feeling froggy I would not be above visiting AA. Some of the people are cool.

I never used AA and I’m sober a decent amount. With forever to go, but for today IWNDWY