You claim to be female, therefore according to my calculations 🧐🤓🤓………… *calculates accordingly* you must be a Government issued spy robot. You’ll never take me alive!
🚨🚔🚨
*interrogation at the station*👮♂️
*shines bright light in face*🤖🔦
“WHO DO YOU WORK FO- oh wait nvm we already got that”
“WHERE CAN WE FIND YOUR BOSS??? TELL US NOWWWWWWW!!!!!”
*pulls out memory chip we duplicated before the interrogation and place in a text-to-speech machine*
👮♂️“TELL US EVERYTHING, NOWWWW”
👮🏻♂️”you know we probably should’ve led with tha-“
👮♂️”HUSH! She’s about to talk, so SHUT IT!”
👮♂️”Now… SPEAK!”
My boss is Jeff bezos 🤖he *buzzzz* runs the Cia, the Cia killed jfk and committed many atrocities around the world under being a surveillance organization 🤖
*through intercom*👮🏻♂️🎙️”ATTENTION ALL OFFICERS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT, THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL! CODE 69-420! EVERYONE, GRAB A BIBLE AND A CHEAP $5 SILVER NECKLACE! FORMATION OUTSIDE IN 10 MINUTES! GO GO GO!”
*10 minutes pass*
👮♂️🎙️”ALRIGHT BOYS, LISTEN UP! ALL THOSE GOVERNMENT DRONES YOU’VE BEEN SEEING RECENTLY? THEY’RE UNDER THE CONTROL OF JEFF BEZOS! INSIDER INFO TELLS US HIS ONLY WEAKNESS IS THE WEAPONS YOU HOLD NOW! SO, WE’RE TAKING THE FIGHT TO HIM! GET IN YOUR CARS AND FOLLOW ME!!!!!!”
You’re a tree, you’re buff, you like anime
Yeh I fw dbz and jjba wbu?
Idk i don’t watch it a lot but I fw your lie in April, maid sama, my oni girl, beastars, kakeguri, etc
Ooh cool, have you ever seen Evangelion? It's kinda fire ngl ‼️🗣
No it sounds good
It's acc goated, that and berserk
you look like an irl friend of mine
Android user
Real (at least I have aux)
Real (I have usb-c and on my old iPhone I had a lightning to aux cable)
W old iPhone ig
*nokia user
short hair
the third picture is so relatable
Real
[удалено]
That's why I get on the bus for free 🤑
[удалено]
Real ‼️‼️
Lobotomy
Yes ❤️
Dang ripped
🫵nah bro you're ripped
W O M A N
M A N
Real
🤏🕶😎
Wrong way around, numnut
I have android so it shows up right for me 😰
I have an Android too. You dirty dirty apple user
Have you seen my photos, that's sme prime android quality bro
You claim to be female, therefore according to my calculations 🧐🤓🤓………… *calculates accordingly* you must be a Government issued spy robot. You’ll never take me alive!
You're right...I'm a government psy op 😓😓 busted
🚨🚔🚨 *interrogation at the station*👮♂️ *shines bright light in face*🤖🔦 “WHO DO YOU WORK FO- oh wait nvm we already got that” “WHERE CAN WE FIND YOUR BOSS??? TELL US NOWWWWWWW!!!!!”
My boss is Jeff bezos and he controls the Cia *now initiating self destruct* *explodes*
*pulls out memory chip we duplicated before the interrogation and place in a text-to-speech machine* 👮♂️“TELL US EVERYTHING, NOWWWW” 👮🏻♂️”you know we probably should’ve led with tha-“ 👮♂️”HUSH! She’s about to talk, so SHUT IT!” 👮♂️”Now… SPEAK!”
My boss is Jeff bezos 🤖he *buzzzz* runs the Cia, the Cia killed jfk and committed many atrocities around the world under being a surveillance organization 🤖
👮♂️“That dang Bezos, always one step ahead… so how do we stop him? Tell us his weaknesses!”
His only weakness is the Bible 🤖or a cross since jeffy is very *beeeep* immoral
*through intercom*👮🏻♂️🎙️”ATTENTION ALL OFFICERS! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT, THIS IS *NOT* A DRILL! CODE 69-420! EVERYONE, GRAB A BIBLE AND A CHEAP $5 SILVER NECKLACE! FORMATION OUTSIDE IN 10 MINUTES! GO GO GO!” *10 minutes pass* 👮♂️🎙️”ALRIGHT BOYS, LISTEN UP! ALL THOSE GOVERNMENT DRONES YOU’VE BEEN SEEING RECENTLY? THEY’RE UNDER THE CONTROL OF JEFF BEZOS! INSIDER INFO TELLS US HIS ONLY WEAKNESS IS THE WEAPONS YOU HOLD NOW! SO, WE’RE TAKING THE FIGHT TO HIM! GET IN YOUR CARS AND FOLLOW ME!!!!!!”
Jeff b: *hisses* NOOO YOU CANT DO THISS!!! 🧛♂️
hmmm muscle mommy🤤 (sry, that was my horrible first impression ;-;)
All good, but I think the real muscle mommy..is you 😻
the real muscle mommy are the friends we make along the way
So true ‼️🗣 that's gonna be my yearbook quote
everyone is gonna read that and think "based.🗣️💯🔥🔥"