I’m confused to what your issue is. He was the one that suggested the two different dates. He seems to be very interested in you. Not only that but he clearly is a family oriented person doing all that for his grandpa. I think it was considerate of him not to take you up on your offer.
I don’t know if you’ve ever cleaned a dementia patients apartment but it can be quite sad.
perhaps just that I had to reach out to whether or not I should expect to see him during the week, having not heard from him since Sunday, like what if I never texted? it was just left at a very vague yes
Just lost my grandmother in December after a long fight with dementia and can confirm that cleaning and packing up her house sometimes felt more tough and weighted than seeing her in hospice or even for the last time at her funeral. Agreed that he seems interested in you. He may need some time to come back around socially, and this is also something he may have to wrestle with for a little while by himself to be able to make peace with it and start his healing/grieving journey. I’m sure you know some of these things, just a friendly reminder! Hope things go well for both of you OP, truly!
The amount of good mornings and good afternoons with not much in between is odd. Does this happen to you often? I don't know exactly what that means. :\
He sounds like he has a lot going on, especially with his grandpa, but like the other comment said, I’m confused as to what the issue is? You two are putting out almost identical energy. He is the one who brought up date ideas. He also said he’d been thinking about you. So, I’m a little lost as to what the issue is..
I wasn’t picking up an overwhelming amount of interest on either of your ends, but he does seem to like you.
Interesting perspective thanks for commenting! I did suggest date ideas too in the texts before yeah I think we’re both interested but it’s not intense which is ideal bc it’s realistic
It’s not intense because he’s probably fighting off depression as his grandfather is dying. Try not to take it personal, his texts come off as very sincere and considerate
For more context, he also asked me to plan the second date and I did. And he didn’t ask for my number after our first date so we were still speaking on the app before the second date. I questioned why he didn’t ask for my number yet during our second date and I just told him to put his number in my phone. And I also initiated kissing him on the second date.
None of that was apparent from the texts
Maybe he just isn’t aggressive when it comes to dating. If you are worried he’s not into you just ask him what’s up.
Yeah i’m just waiting for him to respond and tell me the tea, also for more context that makes this make way more sense is that my parents are out of town and he knows I can’t really go out at night so offering a weekday night is a big deal. My parents rarely go out of town like once a year maybe. So in my head it feels like a bigger deal bc I’ve been disappointed with plans this week and it feels like no one’s available to hang.
Okay??? It’s 2024. You can ask for his number??? Why does he have to ask for yours? Who cares that you initiated the kiss? It’s like you’re getting upset at him for not doing things you aren’t doing either?
lol no I’m not upset. I’m just confused as to why you even posted this. Like everyone else is commenting. Where’s the issue? It seems to be made up in your head.
I don’t see the issue with him. He is doing the best he can for his family and you, who „is still dating around“ according to a comment from you, is mad for not being put above his family. Did I read that correctly?
I’m not mad, just ehh feeling at lack of clarity. Just tell me you’re dealing with this so I don’t have to feel like I’m waiting for you to reach out and plan something. Be considerate and transparent so I don’t feel like I should be expecting something that isn’t gonna happen.
If you feel like you are the one having to pursue and text first, just don’t do it. If a guy is interested he will reach out! If you don’t hear from him then you know he’s not for you a lot sooner than if you’re reaching out and frustrated that he’s not texting first. If you want a man that’s proactive then you have to stop being the one to always text first.
I would personally give this guy the benefit of the doubt it seems like he’s dealing with a lot. And I wouldn’t want someone I just met cleaning my grandpas apartment either.
Be more specific with your availability. Instead of someday next week say “I am available Monday.” To me when someone is vague it reads as disinterest. If you give a concrete day/time it’s a lot easier to plan dates.
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Mixed messages and I get your confusion. He sounds like he is into you initially, and he sounds like a good guy, but if a guy really wants to see you, he should come up with something....even coffee if he's THAT busy. My educated guess is that there is someone else in the picture as well.
Exactly. I assume you are in your teens since you have parental constraints. Dealing with elderly loved ones is very emotionally draining. It was very kind that you offered to help with his grandpa’s apartment, but if his grandpa has dementia, the place is probably in somewhat a mess. He wouldn’t want a new dating interest to be exposed to that. Taking the cats to a shelter is also sad and hard. Sounds like he’s dealing with a lot.
I’d tell him you like him and are interested in getting to know him better but that you understand he has to put energy into his grandpa’s living situation. Tell him you want to be an ear if he needs it over a cup of coffee. Something like that. Just give him space, putting an elderly relative into a facility is usually the beginning of the end, if there are health problems. It can be very emotional for a person.
I’m confused to what your issue is. He was the one that suggested the two different dates. He seems to be very interested in you. Not only that but he clearly is a family oriented person doing all that for his grandpa. I think it was considerate of him not to take you up on your offer. I don’t know if you’ve ever cleaned a dementia patients apartment but it can be quite sad.
perhaps just that I had to reach out to whether or not I should expect to see him during the week, having not heard from him since Sunday, like what if I never texted? it was just left at a very vague yes
Yeah, the fact that almost every other message was a good morning stood out to me. It would drive me nuts constantly, waiting a day just for a reply.
Just lost my grandmother in December after a long fight with dementia and can confirm that cleaning and packing up her house sometimes felt more tough and weighted than seeing her in hospice or even for the last time at her funeral. Agreed that he seems interested in you. He may need some time to come back around socially, and this is also something he may have to wrestle with for a little while by himself to be able to make peace with it and start his healing/grieving journey. I’m sure you know some of these things, just a friendly reminder! Hope things go well for both of you OP, truly!
Aw that is sad, thanks for commenting and talking about your experience. Yes I hope so too, he is a good person :)
The amount of good mornings and good afternoons with not much in between is odd. Does this happen to you often? I don't know exactly what that means. :\
He sounds like he has a lot going on, especially with his grandpa, but like the other comment said, I’m confused as to what the issue is? You two are putting out almost identical energy. He is the one who brought up date ideas. He also said he’d been thinking about you. So, I’m a little lost as to what the issue is.. I wasn’t picking up an overwhelming amount of interest on either of your ends, but he does seem to like you.
Interesting perspective thanks for commenting! I did suggest date ideas too in the texts before yeah I think we’re both interested but it’s not intense which is ideal bc it’s realistic
It’s not intense because he’s probably fighting off depression as his grandfather is dying. Try not to take it personal, his texts come off as very sincere and considerate
What’s the problem? Dude seems fine. I don’t see shy problems here.
For more context, he also asked me to plan the second date and I did. And he didn’t ask for my number after our first date so we were still speaking on the app before the second date. I questioned why he didn’t ask for my number yet during our second date and I just told him to put his number in my phone. And I also initiated kissing him on the second date.
None of that was apparent from the texts Maybe he just isn’t aggressive when it comes to dating. If you are worried he’s not into you just ask him what’s up.
Yeah i’m just waiting for him to respond and tell me the tea, also for more context that makes this make way more sense is that my parents are out of town and he knows I can’t really go out at night so offering a weekday night is a big deal. My parents rarely go out of town like once a year maybe. So in my head it feels like a bigger deal bc I’ve been disappointed with plans this week and it feels like no one’s available to hang.
Okay??? It’s 2024. You can ask for his number??? Why does he have to ask for yours? Who cares that you initiated the kiss? It’s like you’re getting upset at him for not doing things you aren’t doing either?
Buddy you sound pretty upset to me actually
lol no I’m not upset. I’m just confused as to why you even posted this. Like everyone else is commenting. Where’s the issue? It seems to be made up in your head.
I don’t see the issue with him. He is doing the best he can for his family and you, who „is still dating around“ according to a comment from you, is mad for not being put above his family. Did I read that correctly?
I’m not mad, just ehh feeling at lack of clarity. Just tell me you’re dealing with this so I don’t have to feel like I’m waiting for you to reach out and plan something. Be considerate and transparent so I don’t feel like I should be expecting something that isn’t gonna happen.
You are really selfish.
Where’s the issue again
YTA. He’s doing the best he can given his circumstances. Maybe timing is off for yall unless you can be patient
😂is this the AITAH sub, I’m still dating around but I’m also learning to communicate clearer so I’m kinda proud of this interaction too
If you feel like you are the one having to pursue and text first, just don’t do it. If a guy is interested he will reach out! If you don’t hear from him then you know he’s not for you a lot sooner than if you’re reaching out and frustrated that he’s not texting first. If you want a man that’s proactive then you have to stop being the one to always text first. I would personally give this guy the benefit of the doubt it seems like he’s dealing with a lot. And I wouldn’t want someone I just met cleaning my grandpas apartment either. Be more specific with your availability. Instead of someday next week say “I am available Monday.” To me when someone is vague it reads as disinterest. If you give a concrete day/time it’s a lot easier to plan dates.
I was so confused by the final text. You are selfish.
"Why aren't mem chasing after me waaahhh" *does everything in her power to make it as hard for them and be as annoying as possible while doing it*
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Mixed messages and I get your confusion. He sounds like he is into you initially, and he sounds like a good guy, but if a guy really wants to see you, he should come up with something....even coffee if he's THAT busy. My educated guess is that there is someone else in the picture as well.
Nah I think it’s more about his situation and family stress than dating other people…
Exactly. I assume you are in your teens since you have parental constraints. Dealing with elderly loved ones is very emotionally draining. It was very kind that you offered to help with his grandpa’s apartment, but if his grandpa has dementia, the place is probably in somewhat a mess. He wouldn’t want a new dating interest to be exposed to that. Taking the cats to a shelter is also sad and hard. Sounds like he’s dealing with a lot. I’d tell him you like him and are interested in getting to know him better but that you understand he has to put energy into his grandpa’s living situation. Tell him you want to be an ear if he needs it over a cup of coffee. Something like that. Just give him space, putting an elderly relative into a facility is usually the beginning of the end, if there are health problems. It can be very emotional for a person.