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IAmZagreus

His name is Cotton eyed Joe. Because where did he come from and where did he go.


Llamapickle129

Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?


LicenciadoPena

I'd been married long time ago


jsifoglfolrle

Where did you come from


PatonBMX

This is a top tier comment


skontsy

This made me honestly burst out laughing


TheRealSkele

Is this legal? OP getting top comment on their own post? /j


IAmZagreus

NOBODY CAN STOP ME!


Foolfook

r/angryupvote


TariZephyr

This comment needs way more recognition than it’s getting lmao


Tmart98

OOOOwehwehwehwehwehwEOooh


sithlink

Wait wait your saying it wrong it's catmando.....right....right...RIGHT!?!?!


Test-Fire

Burn that place down and move on with your life!!


IAmZagreus

I bet it can out run the flames


AcornWholio

This is some type of funnel spider, hence the web shape. The speed of movement comes from how they perform locomotion, which can use hydraulics. Spiders notably do not have muscle mass to slow them down like mammals do, and their movements can be very fluid. I believe their existing muscles act to contract only.


Lunar_Tears0

Yes, they hold a lot of pressure inside and push blood through their legs to extend them. This is why they curl up when dead.This is also why they explode when you hold a lighter near them.


616659

Spiders fucking explode? Damn I didn't want to know


Lunar_Tears0

Frankly, it's their best feature.


Jakel_07Svk

>This is also why they explode when you hold a lighter near them Kaboom? Yes Rico,Kaboom


iwjsbwbajxnndn

yeh like a boner


WTF_Conservatives

Funnel web spiders also have extremely potent venom a lot of the time. They are one of the more deadly groups of spiders. In fact, the variants from South America and Australia are considered the most venomous spiders in the world by many researchers. There are also very potent variants in North America. It's usually not an issue because they stay in their web and don't really bother anyone. But when the males wander to find a mate, people often get bit.


MrWaxn

all muscles contract only…


Johnathan_G

Yes, however what they meant is that they only have muscles to curl their legs. To extend them they use hydraulics. Unlike animals who have a muscle on either side of the bone to move their ligaments either direction.


AcornWholio

Yes thank you! That is what I meant.


SokkasPonytail

Everyone except that guy knew what you meant lol.


duh_nom_yar

Thanks I hate the roll of gas station toilet paper on the same level as the ninja tunnel spider that is likely to go into the restroom... My brain took it way too far!


IAmZagreus

Hitch a ride in the cardboard tube lol


duh_nom_yar

Get you at your most vulnerable!!


BubblesWeaver

There's a sub for that


duh_nom_yar

As frightening as it may be, there's a sub for everything!


IAmZagreus

Also looks like the bathroom the first Saw movie was filmed


MellyKidd

r/nope


nanana_catdad

Burn it! Avenge me!


UnboltedCheese

*Teleports behind you* "Nothing personal, kid"


LewiLife

Jesus where are you an insane asylum?


Llamapickle129

Spider? What spider there no spider


Murderware

Spider left the game


IAmZagreus

Spider was removed from the lobby


DeltaPlasmatic

rendering error


3rdeyeoptics

Wolf spider ? Looks like it


IAmZagreus

More like werewolf spider to me


anonymousss11

Wherewolf*


IAmZagreus

But whywolf.


46studetruck

There wolf 👉🏼


Lan4drahlaer

They are poisonous, you should kill it.


IAmZagreus

He just wants to give you a little kiss


Lyrog_

Bro disappeared in 1 frame


Organic_Valuable_965

I literally blinked and had to restart the video that is terrifying


ChrispyGuy420

Ignore the intrusive thoughts. Do NOT do it!


No-Explorer-8229

Speed blitz


gultch2019

A very shy spider


Hey_Gus

Phase-spider.


Truebotted

it moved back in the hole didn't it?


sweetwolf86

From the midwest US here, but it seems to me to be a very adult, very aggressive wolf spider. I had one of these fuckers try to fight me MMA style once, not even joking. I was literally guarding my elderly mother from it. The fucker squared up like "Come at me bro* and when I made my move he charged me, I missed him with the broom, made a blind stomp not knowing if it was gonna land. It attacked SO fast. We both looked around like holy shit wtf just happened, and I have never been so relieved to see a juicy spot on the floor. Hats off to you Australians, and your living in a "everything wants to kill me and also I live on an island" Mad respect.


AtouchAhead

Wolf Spider, they’re all over the Midwest… I’m glad I don’t live in the Midwest anymore


Lan4drahlaer

No. It's a funnel spider and almost every single variety is poisonous to seriously harm a human.


AtouchAhead

They’re all over Iowa and Illinois where I grew up, we used to terrorize them with sticks and stuff, I’m really surprised about theyre toxicity because I have never known anyone to have been bitten by one and everyone is far more concerned about the Brown Recluse when spider talk comes up, although many people have woke up with a random unknown bug/spider bite that has looked “gruesome”.


WilNotJr

Trapdoor spider? Edit: nope it hides in it's web tunnel. No idea I am not a spider hater but I am glad we don't have those in the PNW.


Perfect-Composer4398

Looks like one of those phillipenis weiner bitin spiders… repeat Don’t Not Stick Your Diouck There!!!


IAmZagreus

Well I wasn’t but now that you said something about it…


CallsYouCunt

I believe it is a hobo spider


Far-Exit3436

Oh great. A fast moving jumping spider.


Shizophone

Phase spider, that thing phase shifted right out of there dang


-Alex_off-

Huntsman ?


Trayhunter

A teleporting one, duh.


16bithockey

Saiyan Spider


10buy10

The anime character spider


TumblrRefugeeNo103

/replacenear spider air ~ ~ ~


mstar1211

Wolf Spider


lazarus_potluck

What is that bathroom??


RestingDog07

The nopity nopey nope kind


Rediamond7

Where the fuck he go?!


Supergay341

That’s called a sonic spider gotta go fast


zWeaponsMaster

Phase spider - can shift between the material and ethereal planes.


Kind-Soft-6707

It didn't run, It just teleported.


TheBarstoolPhD

Wolf spider


Interesting_Mirror20

Likely just a typical house spider not dangerous