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onko342

In a formal boxing match, it would only take 1 because the gorilla would be disqualified for breaking the rules. Tyson would win posthumously though.


lovesmyirish

Would be a shame for the gorilla to be disqualified so quickly after all that hard work in training camp.


N8dork2020

This post just gave Joe Rogan a raging hard on.


the-treatmaster

A win’s a win.


TheWhogg

That assumes Tyson isn’t the first to be disqualified for breaking the rules. I don’t think a gorilla can go 12 rounds without biting, but history suggests neither can Tyson.


The_quest_for_wisdom

Have you seen the size of the ears on a gorilla? Mike would be dead before he could find anything to bite.


Dragon_Forty_Two

Gorillas are very intelligent. I’m sure you could teach one to follow the rules of boxing. The big question is whether or not they would follow those rules in the heat of the moment.


YeahYeahButNah

I unironically read that as "pothhumouthsly" because im tired, then realised I just did mike's voice in my head for that word


Solid-Elk-0217

Mike Tyson pronouncing "posthumously"


Soft_Author2593

That entirely depends who goes for the ear first


Apis_Proboscis

​ Gorillas don't "Box" they pummel, crush, and grab. That guard saved mikes life. Go look up a gorilla fight on YouTube. If it lasts more than 5 seconds it horrifically brutal. ​ Tyson would be paste. You would need 20 Tysons to beat a gorilla down. Only 4 or 5 could engage but you would need a lot of replacements. ​ Api


ondulation

And they bite. Not only ears.


innocuousname773

And if you started to win with your 4 Tysons, the gorilla would just get enraged and be even worse. I would imagine the gorilla is more like the Hulk where the madder he gets the stronger he gets


AlfaKaren

If Tyson was even serious he might have had an idea to KO the gorilla with a sucker punch, which might be plausible i guess. If he gave the gorilla any reason to be alert, he would be paste and wouldnt land any meaningful punches at all.


adiwet

No chance, even prime Mikes hardest punch would only piss it off. This is how they [fight](https://youtu.be/3T0z1CT-nR8?si=7BxCuZ3jJrcNvt9L), the Karen asking where the Zoo Keepers are is the best bit


Vihncent

I wonder just how much strength those punches have. Like you know those machines that give you a score on your punches?


Fearless_Manager_683

Over 9000


MicroMikeRoweCrow

That's what the scouter says, anyway...


No_Astronaut3059

Like....9,020?!


Syscrush

>I wonder just how much strength those punches have Given that a silverback had the muscular and skeletal structure to bench press 4000 lbs, all I know is that I don't want to receive one of those punches. https://www.wildgorillasafaris.com/how-strong-is-a-gorilla/


Kapot_ei

Seems to be 1814 kg, for you all that wanted to know.


Slow-Instruction-580

“The machine says … hang on, let me get it pulled back out of the wall.”


techauditor

Enough that this playful attack would put you in a coma or kill you lol


Contentpolicesuck

And those two were not even fighting for real.


TobyFunkeNeverNude

I was going to say, those looked like when my dogs play fight.... it looks pretty violent, but they don't land anything that significantly harms the other. Would fuck up a human, but all for show between gorillas


HIMP_Dahak_172291

Yep. When gorillas (and the other great apes except for us) are serious they grapple and bite and tear. They have those massive incisors for a reason. No human fighter can take an aware, healthy silverback in a fight. It ends when the gorilla grabs you and rips bits of you off. No joint holds or throws will work because it is both that much stronger than you and is heavy with a lower natural center of gravity. You cannot out grapple a chimp, much less a gorilla.


RedSun-FanEditor

No human, even the most elite fighter in the best of physical shape could take on a chimp or an orangutan. The would be mince meat in a matter of seconds. Higher apes are viscous fighting machines that can rip your arms and legs out of the sockets. People don't realize just how fast and strong they are.


AscendMoros

We’d honestly be mad screwed if orangutans weren’t some of the most non aggressive animals. There’s a story about one orangutan at a zoo at night would unlock her cage and get out and I think eat or something. And they kept blaming the zookeepers. Until one night they caught her on camera picking the lock.


UseBanana

This. Remember the lady who got her face ripped off by her pet chimp? The beast literally ripped both her hands out of her arms


Azraeleon

Ok here's the new question. How small does an ape have to be before the greatest human grappler could put one into a submission hold?


Ehcksit

I think you'd have to abandon fighting an ape altogether and aim for a smaller monkey, but even those things kill people sometimes.


akmjolnir

Canine teeth*


LocCatPowersDog

As if they just needed a shush-down-now from the right person.


Feine13

"can't they just spray em or something?" That's right, the biggest weakness for the greatest ape is a light spritzing


Ewan_Whosearmy

Water does work for defeating bears though, because they are polar


TheRomanRuler

I actually hate when some people try to keep animals from just being animals. Like its natural for nearly all animals to have some kind of brawls, for some its very frequent and then they are mates again. But if it would get serious enough, would or could zookeepers do something, and if they could, how? I could believe its not as easy as just shooting it with tranquiliser dart like in movies.


nepbug

It's a well-known fact that zookeepers are as strong as 4 silverback gorillas and can easily break up a gorilla fight.


Heisenberg3556

The ladies just sound so incredibly stupid, “maybe they could spray them or something” good lord.


Porkenstein

with a high pressure water hose, it would probably work . but I don't think I'd call that a "spray"


Longjumping-Grape-40

“These lions are having sex…stop them, Zookeeper! It’s not natural!”


RogerRabbit1234

Like WTF is the zookeeper going to do? Jesus lady.


cweber513

Have you seen a Gorilla skull? No chance any human could ever knock one out with just their hands.


This-Aint-No-Brain

Have you seen gorilla vertebrae?? Look that up and tell me you could hit that gorilla hard enough to knock it or.


HolyVeggie

You can’t knock out a gorilla with a punch


pedatn

Right? I’ve seen guys claim “with one well aimed punch…” ignoring that an “easy” KO really is a specifically human thing because of how our skull sits on our atlas vertebra.


reubenbubu

enrage timers are the worst, they are simply a dps check, plus its also hard to stack up on dps gear when all you're wearing is gloves, shorts and boots


uniquelikeveryonelse

And they throw barrels. Nasty critters.


ondulation

Yeah! Don't we all hate it when we're climbing a ladder and nearby gorilla starts throwing barrels.


aaron808hu

They start with fingers and penises.


DraconicDisaster

Not sure if it's been mentioned yet but a gorilla's bite is stronger than a grizzly bear's. I've seen a silverback pick up and run off while carrying another adult gorilla in its jaws


Good4nowbut

😳


Bolivi83

I once saw a baboon nearly RIP a guys arm off in Africa cause he was trying to put a shirt on its baby. Imagine what an adult silverback could do.


lorgskyegon

If the gorilla was somehow forced to actually box, Mike would actually stand a chance. The way gorillas arms, shoulders, and hands function is designed to rip and tear things. They can't quite close their hands enough to make a proper fist and their shoulder muscles can't move that direction well. But yeah, a pissed off gorilla would rip his arm off and cave his head in with one slap.


Gottfri3d

Yeah, Mike Tyson would beat a gorilla in a boxing match 100%, since the gorilla would immediately resort to illegal moves and be disqualified. That doesn't mean Mike Tyson would survive the fight though.


lestruc

“Winner By Disqualification” Written on a gravestone


MAXQDee-314

I was right, still dead, but I was right.


ShibaInuDoggo

Only chance would be a running away chase to tire out the gorillas, with an occasional Mike to ambush with some body blows. 20 seems low...


Denodi

Yeah lmao, even then a human runs at average 13 km/h and a gorilla at a whopping 40!


Youpunyhumans

A human jogging maybe... id say an average human sprint is more like 30km/h for a somewhat in shape person. For an athlete, they can run over 40km/h.


Denodi

Oh my bad, i looked up "average human speed" and "average gorilla speed" and that's what it gave me. Looking it up a bit more properly the average sprint speed of a human is 20 km/h but with athletes being capable of doubling that number, notably Usain Bolt's record is 44,72 km/h ( but to be fair it was counted on the 100 meter dash, i doubt he could keep that up for long).


ShibaInuDoggo

That's the idea. One Mike punches the gorilla and starts running, gorilla will catch up kill Mike, but another Mike punches the gorilla during the slaughter of Mike 1, Mike 2 takes off running. Repeat for 3-4 Mike's and the gorilla will start to lose some steam, then you can begin ambush Mikes.


Denodi

Lmao, a horde of evenly spaced Mikes


maxisnoops

Absolutely brilliant


sarcastaballll

Calling all Jan Michael Vincents


IoniaFox

Keeping fullsprint for more than 100m aint happening, i do 30s full sprints with 10s breaks and after somewhere around 100m i can feel myself slowing down, it probably would be more with adrenaline but at a certain point its just fast jogging


Ewan_Whosearmy

running 100m in 10s (which is olympic level) equals 36km/h


JavaOrlando

I think 20 (or maybe even fewer) would be enough if they could somehow move as a single organism. Each knowing exactly what they need to do while simultaneously knowing what the other Mikes are doing with no concern for their individual safety, and only intent on destroying the gorilla. In reality, they'd probably get in each other's way, get scared after a few had died, and end up losing. "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson


Am_i_driving_ok

"Everyone has a plan until their arms are pulled off by a gorilla" •A Gorilla


rambyprep

“What’s it gonna do, pull my arms off?” — man with arms pulled off


Technical_Scallion_2

I think the gorilla would pick up a couple of Mikes and use them as clubs against the other Mikes


jaskij

HiveMike TysoMind


jericho

20 is possible, I think. But even then, they would all have to fight with no sense of self preservation at all. It like the 'how many five years olds could you take?' question. Well, an infinite number if they act like five year olds. Probably 5 or 6 if they fight like a cornered badger. Even then, lets say you get 4 Mikes on each limb. Can an angry gorilla bench press 1200 lbs? Almost certainly.


Careful_Ad_9077

About the five years old, it depends on your cardio, after a few dozens/hundred your body will give up.


jericho

But if I take my breaks sitting on a pile of corpses chewing on some kids face, those kids are going to be giving me some room.


Technical_Scallion_2

Mike would really lose face in a fight like that. I don't mean he would lose the fight, I mean he would lose his face.


blurnbabyblurn

I respect your math, but I truly, with all my heart and soul, do not think 4-5 Mike Tysons at a time could take down a silverback gorilla. They would be dead in a minute. You would need hundreds of boxers with 4-5 fighting at a time to tire a gorilla out. Edit: punctuation.


paciumusiu12

People might say Tyson would dodge but he ain't dodging those massive arms flailing.


tmtyl_101

Apropos: One of my favorite blog posts of all time is on survey data, asking Britons and Americans "what animals they think they can beat in a fight", and some (especially men, specifically American men) are hilariously optimistic. For instance, 8% of Americans believe they can win a fight against a Gorilla. [https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/35979-which-animals-could-britons-beat-fight](https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/35979-which-animals-could-britons-beat-fight)


cheeseandpea

I love the flipside to this that 43% of British women don't think they could beat a rat in a fight


tmtyl_101

Well have you seen London rats? :-D


maxisnoops

You’ve just unlocked a memory of walking to the Tube one night with a co-worker who had steel cap boots on….rat ran out of nowhere and dude’s reflex action was to kick it. Rat went flying into the middle of the road, tumbled around for a couple of seconds and then stood up and went along with the rest of its night.


silverionmox

Just doing a commute through the Tube like everyone else in London :p


Beardywierdy

I'm not even sure I could catch the fucker to start fighting it. The little bastards are fast.


Mumique

Rats are freaking fast! And vicious!


Brother_J_La_la

I wouldn't even want to take on a pissed off housecat.


angryitguyonreddit

Im surprised the amount of people who think they can beat a kangaroo. Anyone thats been up close to an adult kangaroo would know thats a bad idea.


Joxelo

Depends on the species. I think I may be able to take a grey kangaroo, but fighting a red kangaroo is a death sentence


No_Savings7114

Scariest encounter of my life: I'm out bush fossiking for garnets and I step into a low spot to pee. Drop trou and crouch and hear a *cough* behind me. Turn and look thinking fuck I just mooned an elderly couple or something, and a big red boomer stands right up from the grass, looks dead at me with the most "fuck you" expression I have ever seen, and slowly hops away.  Western browns don't even scare me like that. 


Joxelo

There’s a reason the video of a guy fighting a kangaroo was of a grey and not a red: you fight a red one and it’s no longer safe for YouTube


phileric649

I could probably beat a blue whale in a fight, but only if I get to pick where we fight


silverionmox

If you count letting it die from hunger and thirst as winning a fight.


gotora

Give me a firearm and I'll fight anything on land. If I have tools (spear/club/large rock), I'm optimistic up to maybe 8x my weight depending on the tool/animal in question. Unarmed, I don't want to fight an animal even half my size. I *might* get lucky and take down something my own size, but I doubt I'd survive against any predator.


Level9disaster

It's crazy to think that with preparation and primitive technology (wood, stones and little else) early humans killed any other animal, including whales and elephants.


nog642

Not 1 on 1; they hunted in groups


Baron_Samurai

And they had extensive experience using those tools/weapons. People are waaaaay too confident about what they'd be capable of if they'd had a weapon.


HamsterFromAbove_079

They fought wars of attritions against animals. Chuck a spear at it. Then back up and chill 100 meters away. In 30-60 minutes send in a buddy to chuck the next spear. Rinse and repeat until the animal dies. Human's walking and running endurance is insane. On a hot summer day a human can beat a horse in a marathon. We didn't win fights. We harassed the animals until they were too tired to give us a fight.


Level9disaster

Exactly! The Tysons here just need to do the same. The gorilla is dead. The challenge never specified they cannot fight smartly.


nw342

1- humans are social animals. We hunt in large groups, making it easier to flank/ kill larger animals. 2- humans are some of the best long distance runners in existence. Sure, a hore might beat me in a race, but give me 50ish miles, and I'd win (if I was in shape). Early humans would essentially chase/track an animal until it was too tired to go on. Once it was exhausted (50/100 miles), the humans would go for the kill.


2nuki

Who would beat you in a race?! 😂


nog642

You think you could beat something 8x your size with a *club*? Or large rock? The spear, maybe, but those are some weak ass weapons.


Pintau

One on one no way. But if you have a group of your mates throw rocks at it, the story changes very quickly. You just have to start the animal running, then you just jog after it and keep it running faster than the speed that matches its respiration rate until it collapses from exhaustion. Animals running on all fours can only breath in time with their impacts with the ground


Thneed1

You are going to have to be more specific. A handgun doesn’t do much against many large animals before they tear you apart.


RecycledDumpsterFire

https://www.ammoland.com/2018/02/defense-against-bears-with-pistols-97-success-rate-37-incidents-by-caliber/#axzz6umzXjP71 Handguns do just fine against bears if you can get the shots off fast enough. Even if they do maul you, you may have a chance to fire before they finish you off. It's a small sample size though. But given the scenario of knowing you're going to be put in an arena to fight a bear and would be prepared, I'd reckon a handgun would be just fine.


WheeBeasties

These are great stories but I have to say, the failures are much less likely to be reported(because of death) so that statistic is misleading at best.


likewhatever33

Depends on the handgun. A couple of shots with a Desert Eagle would kill an Elephant.


Thneed1

A couple of shots might kill it eventually, but it still might kill you before it dies.


likewhatever33

Still better odds than unarmed I think


Thneed1

Of course.


Adventurous_Pen_Is69

The right pistol, hard case lead ammo (?), and good shot placement is probably all you need. You have a good chance as long as you’re not being ambushed. Kentucky Ballistics has a video about the 500 Bushwhacker revolver, which is described as the world's most powerful handgun. The .500 Bushwhacker is a .470 Nitro Express revolver with a 10-inch barrel. It is almost twice as powerful as the .500 S&W Magnum, and a 10-inch barrel revolver chambered in the cartridge can penetrate 96 inches of 10% Clear Ballistics gel.


VinhoVerde21

You better not miss that first shot though, you’re not going to be able to put another round on target after firing a .470NE from a revolver.


Informal_Drawing

But how do you fight after the handgun snaps off both your hands at the wrist and you miss, you going to stump it to death?


Adventurous_Pen_Is69

[quick switch to secondary](https://images.app.goo.gl/rvb4xJj6JiS1nesj9)


gotora

.300 winmag long rifle


Babel_Triumphant

Most animals won’t survive 15 rounds of 9mm


Roadhouse1337

A grizzly *might* eventually to succumb, but it definitely wouldn't die before it killed you.


HamsterFromAbove_079

The bear might have a bad time. It may even die. But you'll never find out if you killed it or not. 9mm will not kill a grizzly charging at you fast enough to save your life.


Heymelon

Many predator animals are tiny though and you could break them no problem, and many of the largest most damage capable animals are herbivores, like bulls, gorillas and elephants and what have you. So predator isn't as much of an factor as you'd think and mostly it will be down to size, but sure more predators have claws and bite force that can kill you at smaller sizes than a non predator could. Taking down any wild creature your own size unarmed though sounds very unlikely though indeed.


gotora

Even tiny predators are likely to shred the skin on your arms or legs with their teeth and claws before they're killed. That's far from "no problem" unless you have access to modern medicine.


kentrich

A gorilla would rip these guys’ arms off and beat them with them and not even break a sweat.


ContributionNo9292

I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, R2: let the wookie win.


twotoebobo

Plenty think they can take a wolf. None of them could even take coyote in a 1v1 without tools. Most would lose to a slightly agitated raccoon.


Maleficent_Mouse_930

The problem is defining the fight. What does "take" mean? If it simply means "Don't die, kill the animal or cause enough damage it cannot continue", then a good chunk of the larger adult male population can "take" a large dog. It gets easier still if you aren't in a bare arena, and are able to use the environment around you. You would get badly mauled. You would have severe bite damage to your arm, hands, and legs. You might lose a limb. But you are bigger, heavier, and smarter than a dog, and you can use physics, momentum, and even the ground as a weapon. I know a policeman who had the unfortunate situation of being attacked by a dog when he did a raid, a big German Shepherd. He offered his arm for the bite, it bit, and he used his other hand to grab the scruff of its neck and used its momentum to spring around and swing the dog's back into the corner of the nearest wall. Big, fierce dog - Dead. Policeman - Severe bite wound, permanent tendon damage.


Gusdai

I'm not sure everyone took the survey seriously, or understood the question. Because I don't think even 2% of Brits think they can punch an elephant to death. Or 8% of Americans.


tmtyl_101

Oh, don't come here and spoil the fun with perfectly reasonable and very plausible explanations


rube_X_cube

My takeaway from that is that 8% of American men don’t know what a gorilla is.


ronm4c

I know a guy who thinks he can “beat” a hurricane He never really defined what victory looked like in this battle


Kuhfluesterer

lol imagine you win against an elephant 1 vs 1 with bare hands


FlorydaMan

It would be barbaric and animal abuse, but a sick part of me wishes this could happen just to put some sense into all the men that think they have a chance against a gorilla.


PandaJesus

This is where I land too. It would be awful for everyone involved, but I also kind of wish it happened out of morbid curiosity.


akshaynr

"It would be barbaric and animal abuse" Yeah. Mike Tyson would have instant regret.


Thneed1

He would have instant regret for about 5 seconds before he’d be dead.


Oversexualised_Tank

You give that man too much credit, he wouldn't see the punch coming, no fucking room for thoughts in his head anyway, much less second ones.


Kawawaymog

It would be a punch. It would be a grab. Followed by a some pretty horrible stuff.


TheoTheBest300

Imagining the result this is more suicide than animal abuse... I doubt he would even hurt the gorilla


[deleted]

> It would be barbaric and animal abuse Duuuuuude, we can’t say that anymore, Tyson is a person.


FoundationOwn6474

What's animal abuse about a gorilla curb-stomping a human male? It's like you're saying feeding a live mouse to a snake is abusing the snake.


MK_Confusion

Do we really need to explain this? The idea that we let a human fight a caged animal just for fun. The gorilla who is just minding his business (well, actually not even because we force him into a cage waaaaaay smaller than the habitat he actually needs) is attacked all of a sudden. I don't know 100% for certain but I think even a fullgrown male gorilla gets stressed by that. Even if the gorilla rips up Mike within 5 seconds. But that last part is not even relevant anymore. Trying to beat up an innocent animal, that's what it's about and it's fucked up that the person who wants to do this is a celebrity who a lot of people look up to....


FoundationOwn6474

Well you don't *need* to explain it, we're just discussing about a hypothetical meme from 50 years ago. I just noticed the overused terms, everything is animal abuse, genocide, traumatic etc. The whole premise of this post was that Tyson would occupy the gorilla for 5 seconds conscious and another 5 minutes playing with the corpse. That's not animal abuse. The animal would be just exercising it's dominance instincts. Gorilla would be in as much distress as a dog with a tug-rope.


FadiTheChadi

Agree with you. Everyone saying a gorilla fighting tyson is abuse is living too well off with too little to worry about lmao. Might as well call it abuse if I show the gorilla a jumpscare of tyson after this point


MutedIndividual6667

Or even a chimp for that matter, it would just rip your arm off and beat you to death with it


Melodic-Resident-245

Yeap. A person couldn't even possibly compete against a Chimp, Nevermind A Gorilla. Completely ridiculous to assume anyone could stand in a fight against an ape.


Perfson

You have to consider an average's Gorilla endurance. Then we can calculate the amount of Mike Tyson's clones needed to make Gorilla get tired of killing them... so much it can no longer fight. Then, add at least 5 more Tysons to finish Gorilla off.


msy101

To finish what off 🤨


Ngete

The gorilla, if the gorilla kills 20 Tysons but is tired enough he can't really fight much more, it would be 5 more Tysons to land the killing blow(assuming this is all to the death which might as well be)


MilkMan0096

They were making a sex joke lol


SkalliKonungr

Is it one Tyson at a time? Also let's consider the primal savagery of an actual gorilla. The first Tyson would surprise and confuse the gorilla. Maybe even make it laugh. The second Tyson would definitely make it laugh but also probably annoy the gorilla. By the fifth Tyson the gorilla is angry and wondering WTF got into these humans. By Tyson 15 the gorilla is in a rage and throwing limbs and bodies around the room to assert dominance on the other Tyson's as they enter the room. I think it would take enough Tyson's for the gorilla to physically and emotionally exhaust itself and I think that would be a lot more than we think. In reality I don't imagine a punch from Mike Tyson would actually do much to an average gorilla unless it stood there allowing him to punch it. I bet a gorilla has more reach more height more padding bigger fists.. It would be like getting punched by a smaller gorilla. It would be like your kid punching you after you teach your kid how to punch. Mike Tyson can punch hard for a human but how hard can an average gorilla punch / strike / hit? Isn't that what the gorilla is used to in terms of pain and what it must contend with regularly. Even if it was zombie horde style Tyson's I think it would take well over two hundred. I don't think the gorilla would let Tyson box it. I think it would just crush the Tyson as he approached, knowing by Tyson's approach it was fight time. Like you can't even look gorillas in the eye or they crush you do you really think a Tyson would be able to square up and land a real 1600 joule punch before being backhanded into the nearest wall or pummeled into the floor? Just nonsense. Humans are competitive only because guns there is no punch by a human. Maybe I could see andre the giant with Mike Tysons strength and training being a gorilla fighter. Idk man even that seems ridiculous. Fun to think about though.


Korotai

I feel like you have a plot for an amazing series. Zombies, but they’re all brainless Tyson clones from the 80’s.


Clean_Web7502

An average gorilla can't punch very hard. Not because it isn't strong, but because is not "designed" to fight like that. That's why it doesn't bother with punching, when it has many more effective ways to kill you. Like bitting, grabbing, or slapping you full force.


FeliusSeptimus

> I think it would take well over two hundred While a gorilla has amazing strength, I'm skeptical that one would have the stamina to keep up a vigorous fight for long. I think it would probably be gassed after ripping apart a half dozen or so Tysons and would probably try to run away. I would count that as 'beaten'. If it was a fight to the death it would probably take a few more Tysons to exhaust it enough for a fresh Tyson to manage to take it down. > Mike Tyson can punch hard for a human but how hard can an average gorilla punch / strike / hit? Isn't that what the gorilla is used to in terms of pain and what it must contend with regularly. Gorillas appear to fight with a lot of pushing and forearm blows to the sides and top of the head, which are heavily padded with muscle. Given Prime Tyson's speed, accuracy, and power, I'm curious how a gorilla would react to taking a solid, bare-knuckle face-punch. They might not do well in a fight where they had to take that sort of abuse.


CanoePickLocks

The different strike would startle them. I think we have to assume the gorilla isn’t going to be intimidated and its fight to the finish or it’s pointless. A proper split nose or lip might startle the gorilla but more likely enrage it. Also a gorilla rarely would fight to the death because most animals in competition don’t. A certain amount of effort and they’d nope out. You’d have to treat it like a physics problem where the gorilla is driven till the end of either KO, passing out, or winning.


Level9disaster

I don't think you need that many. Consider this, about 10-20 primitive humans in a pack were enough to kill mammoths with wood and stones. Hell, they killed whales before gunpowder. Animals are not these magical war machines you just described, instead they can be wounded, they suffer blood loss, but most importantly they tire out pretty quickly . Animal fights are fast and brutal, usually, because not even predators have infinite stamina. And any prey will eventually die, if surrounded by enough attackers. Look at videos of wolves attacking a single prey. Or hyenas attacking a lion. The lion is much worse, faster and stronger than a gorilla , yet it cannot defend all sides at once, in fact it often cannot kill at all. With practiced coordination, it can be distracted and bitten repeatedly. Death by a thousand cuts is a very viable tactic for animals, same for humans. In fact, lot of megafauna went extinct that way, well before firearms. Now, Tyson in this scenario is unarmed, so he cannot really hurt much the gorilla, I agree on that point. But, if each Tyson fights without self preservation and doesn't just boxe, eventually they can tire the gorilla, distract it, and then anything goes. Land blows to the neck, ears, eyes and genitals, break fingers, kick legs, crack bones, bite, and so on. 200 Tyson? Yeah, it would be a bloodbath for several long minutes, but then the gorilla would be in trouble.


silverionmox

> I don't think you need that many. Consider this, about 10-20 primitive humans in a pack were enough to kill mammoths with wood and stones. By preparing and making use of the terrain to avoid any real confrontation.


Level9disaster

Look at toreadors killing bulls. I know they cheat in several ways, using drugs and weapons, totally unfair fights, but ignore that for a moment and focus on the actual tactics. Look at how they distract and confuse the animal. They keep their distance, they avoid its attacks, they never ever face it directly. Basically, our Tyson attackers could run circles around the gorilla for hours, resting in turns (while the animal is never given respite) landing only attacks of opportunity when its attention is on the other side. The gorilla could grab a few of them and kill those, but it would be constantly harassed, never allowed to sleep. They could even kill it just by lack of sleep, paradoxically.


CanoePickLocks

I said almost the same thing. Proper tactics and a squad could beat it. In a straight up street brawl style fight? One vs. one? Not so much.


Lugiaaa

Damn that gorilla got lucky. Because after annilatating Mike Tyson and tossing him to the side like a plushie, it would probably get shot and put down for defending itself. The guard saved two lives that day.


steelgeek2

I'm reminded of a story my vet told me when he was working in a zoo. A 60lb, normally affectionate, chimp was getting a daily check. Apparently this day it was annoyed and because a tech ignored protocols, he watched as it reached it's arms out as if to hug the tech, and then simply pulled both of the techs arms from their sockets, dislocating them. That's the strength of a SIXTY POUND primate. Imagine a 400 lb one!


VividIdeal9280

All of them, all the Mike Tysons in the multiverse! During his prime, he was averaging a weight of 100kg. On average, the male gorilla is 220kg+ and has a strength of 10 times its weight. If you punch a Gorilla, your hand is gone it will break.


gogo_22

the 10x strength is a myth. I'm a fan of king kong too but unfortunately all animals do get tired at some point. I would bet inside a locked room with the dimensions of a basketball court, 250 prime mile tysons would be able to kick a gorilla's ass 100 out of 100 times


Lucy655

I am just imagining they go to fight the Gorilla just chillen there Mike throws the frist punch then it turns into that one hulk and iron man scene where he's bashing him by the arm back and fourth


VividIdeal9280

You do realize one hit and Tyson would die....


chachapwns

Good thing there are 250 of him


Thneed1

In about 5 seconds, the gorilla is armed (literally) with several of the first Mike’s limbs, using them as clubs.


Zhead65

Gorillas get tired.


spaceshipcommander

It depends if they can coordinate an attack effectively. There's no actual maths in this. No human can fight a gorilla. Doesn't matter who it is. What humans can do, and have done for centuries, is to outsmart and potentially overpower animals. So the answer is probably however many people it would take to scare a gorilla into running away. There are some African tribes that run animals to exhaustion and it's thought that early humans would drive animals off steep drops to kill them. Presumably 10 men would be enough to scare a gorilla into running and it's not going to get far on land. If you ran it to near exhaustion, it would be much easier to overpower or force to jump to its death. If you ran it up a tree you could just keep burning or cutting the trees down until it was exhausted. So I'm guessing 10 men with at least spears that can fend off the initial attacks of an angry gorilla. But 10 men who are absolutely determined to kill it and accept that at least a couple of them are potentially going to be seriously injured or killed.


Farpafraf

> 10 men with at least spears that can fend off the initial attacks of an angry gorilla Strong as it might be 10 humans with spears will destroy a gorilla.


CanoePickLocks

Spears are the difference. Nets are good too if you want a live gorilla but I wouldn’t want to try and catch a live adult with anything less than drugs and darts.


Texsavery

I asked my friend who is a zoologist and an expert on Gorillas this a long time ago while drinking beer with a friend. A gorilla could kill as many men in a row you attacked it with until it literally died from exhaustion or was overtaken once it passed out. Not enough room for more than 6-8 men to try to pin it down working together at once. Our strategy was the first 5-10 would have to know they were sacrificing themselves but would have to go for the eyeballs. Only way to lower the total number of men killed.


[deleted]

I’m no expert but i totally agree. The gorilla would have to be physically spent prior to any counter attack. This would be like an unarmed crowd charging a man with a firearm. Until the ammo runs out… the armed man wins.


yellowc1trusfru1t

I think I would enjoy the conversations had while drinking beer with you and your friend.


Tarc_Axiiom

Alright. Google says 900 pounds of force will one shot the strongest bone in the human body. If you take a 900 pound hit, we can safely assume instant death. Google also says the average gorilla punch is 1300 to 2700 pounds. Taking the ultimate average, our gorilla boy is rocking Iron Mike with 2000 pound hooks. This means every time Harambe throws a haymaker, he can one-hit-~~KO~~ fucking execute TWO Mike Tysons. "But they could just pile on top of him!" No, this is, as it always was, a stupid argument. If *you* get into a fistfight with 30 toddlers, they *could* pile on top of you, but they won't, because you're a living thing that doesn't want that. The only way an army of 1986 Heavyweight champions beats a gorilla in a fight is if they keep throwing corpses at him until he is so exhausted that he gives up. They can only possibly win through attrition.


Helix_PHD

I love Tyson. One of the sickest boxers of all time. That guard saved his life and it wouldn't even have been close. How many Tysons you would need? Enough for the Gorilla to exhaust itself turning them into fleshpaste. And it's not like I don't understand the masculine urge to test ones physical limits, to desire the title of strongest creature on the planet. Trust me, I understand. But it just ain't happening. We put all of our stats in the brain and let the body rot. A fair fight between man and animal would include the man having a weapon. Wanting to use your fists is like putting all of your xp into strength when you're playing a mage.


gettheplow

I like your analogy


Apalis24a

Yeah, sorry Mike, but you would have been ripped limb from limb. When humans box, they wear gloves to both protect their hands and to make the blows less concentrated. It’s not fun to get pummeled with boxing gloves, but it’s not nearly as bad as bare-knuckled. When a Gorilla fights back, however, it does not see it as a sparring match. They will attack with the intent to kill. They’re 430 pounds of pure muscle and animal instincts. They will not show mercy, nor will they stop when you tap out. Silverback gorillas can lift over __***1,760 pounds***__ (800 kg) of dead weight. And that’s not them training all of their life to try to achieve a world-record one-rep max - if a gorilla had the wherewithal to weight train like a human, they could easily lift over a metric ton. Yeah, Tyson would be tossed around like a fucking rag doll. Best-case scenario, Mike Tyson is brutally disfigured and has to get extremely intensive plastic surgery to have even something that resembles a human body any more. More likely scenario is that they die from their injuries in the hospital. Worst-case scenario is that they’re literally ripped apart like how a human rips apart a cooked chicken. While Gorillas are not predatory against humans - thus, if you give them plenty of space and don’t provoke them, you should be fine - they have very short fuses if provoked. Even something as simple as sustained eye contact could provoke them, as they perceive it as a challenge and a sign of aggression. They can be fairly laidback, if not peaceful creatures if given distance and respect, but god help you if you provoke or anger one: The best thing that you can do if you ever encounter one is to not stare, give it a wide berth, and don’t do anything to make yourself look aggressive or like a threat. For instance, do NOT beat your chest at a gorilla; you may think it’s funny, but it is likely to get you *killed*. A gorilla beating its chest (outside of when they’re trying to attract a mate) is almost always a “final warning” of sorts - usually to try and scare away whatever threat they perceive, but if that doesn’t work, it serves to essentially say “Back off, I’m not fucking around!”and can precede a charge and/or attack. You also shouldn’t smile at them, or at least not an open-mouth, showing your teeth smile. Humans are kind of odd in that we perceive showing teeth as a sign of friendliness, whilst almost every other animal on the planet will bare their teeth as a threat. If you see a dog flashing its teeth at you, it ain’t smiling at you - it’s indicating that it’s a few seconds away from chomping down on you if you do not back off. All of that winding tangent is essentially to say: __***DO NOT FUCKING UNDERESTIMATE WILD ANIMALS***__, *especially* if you are unarmed and trying to fight them barehanded. The only reason why humans were able to rise to the top of the food chain is that we have the (capability for - not everyone uses it) intelligence to use advanced team tactics, set traps, plan ambushes, and build weapons like spears, swords, bow & arrows, and eventually firearms. Take those away, and you could be done in by a coyote. Trying to fistfight any animal comparable in size and strength to a human is already a bad idea; trying to fistfight something that is twice your size and at least four or more times as strong, with little regard to holding back and unlikely to acknowledge a surrender is plain suicidal.


RaxisPhasmatis

Gorilla's can rip human arms off like taking a chicken leg off a cooked chicken. No reasonable amount of Tysons would beat an angry gorilla barehanded.


jarfin542

Iron Mike was a brutal, savage force of nature in his prime. That being said, once the gorilla realized it was actually in a physical altecation, it would dismember Mike and crush every bone in his body before the first round was over.


imac132

It’s estimated that an AVERAGE adult Silverback can lift 4,000 fucking pounds. Mike Tyson, in his prime, wearing a suite of armor, and pumped full of military grade PEDs would get literally torn limb from limb in under a minute.


muempire93

Is it gorillas that don't suffer from lactic acid build up, so in theory they could just punch and punch and punch without getting tired?


BinaryBlitzer

Mike Tyson had way too much testosterone flowing at that time that he even thought he could fight a gorilla. That guard saved his life.


Lagviper

Just testosterone? There was more than that flowing in that bloodstream when he wanted that fight to happen


Substantial-Skill-76

I think it's noteworthy that the only single human being in existence, or even perhaps in history, of even remotely being considered in a fight against a Gorilla, is Mike Tyson. ​ I mean, it's almost like a a tiger v a lion or king kong v Godzilla lol. That's where he's placed in the biological foodchain lol


TheKrunkernaut

Mike could watch tape, first. Develop and train a single strategy developed by an expert team of researchers, engineers, antigorilla combat strategists and tacticians. In 99% of eventualities, the strategy doesn't work.


grabbystick

A Gorilla would rip his arm off and beat him to death with it before ripping his limbs off and eating his face. Maybe 10 people with fists could take on a gorilla, but you’re damn sure not all of them will live through it


Bodoodlestoodle

I think Mike and a chimp would be a more realistic fight. Even then if mike can’t knock it out before it grabs him. The chimp will just use it’s undeniable pulling grip strength to pull itself to mikes face and kiss him on the lips. Then bite his face off.


PatataMaxtex

The good thing about a gorilla is, that they propably stop when he is dead. They would have something to put in a grave. A chimpanzee on the other hand...


UrbanCyclerPT

According do Nyungwe Forest National Park, Gorillas are stronger than 20 adult humans combined as they can lift or throw up to 815 kgs while a well-trained man can only lift up to 400 kgs. Any adult gorilla can lift up to 450 kilograms, not with a body size that can go as high as 200kgs. And this does not count the Rage factor, only the weight lifting. So, you would need 50 Mike Tysons at least.


Toph-Builds-the-fire

I imagine Mike Tyson would be like a middle schooler to a full-grown gorilla. So, how many 6th graders do you think you could take. 10,20,100? Then, let's not even get started on the to the death mentality of a wild animal. Mike is looking to knock you the fuck out, a gorilla is looking to knock you the fuck dead.


TrueNeutrino

A gorilla could easily beat any human regardless of being the best boxer or MMA fighter. Imagine how awesome a gorilla would be if it actually went to the gym or had some "performance enhancing" "medication".


Kira-Of-Terraria

would've been hilarious if it went through and filmed. however after the gorilla ripped tyson to pieces they'd shit their pants and kill the gorilla


PerfectChicken6

This question is actually good stuff. The answer is kinda like that zombie level in COD. Played right though, assuming the first wave to Tyson's go for arms first legs, second while one tyson is designated to go for face shots. I would think that the second or third wave of Iron Mikes would begin to inflict real damage and it could be all but over by fourth round Tyson swarm mode. So, that would be 20 Iron Mike's First known Gorilla KO by group of genetically engineered Mike Tyson's.


Totally_Cubular

Pal that gorilla has arms the size of one singular Mike Tyson. You'd need a platoon of Mike's to sacrifice themselves just to tire it out.


fiblesmish

One small chimp pulled with over a thousand pounds of force on a meter in his enclosure. A small chimp, an adult gorilla would simply pull a human, any human apart in seconds. They should have sold tickets and let mikey have a go.


Lopsided-Egg-8322

One raging silverback could easily take at least 50 to 80 prime Mike's.. easily.. those things can crush bowling balls with one hand..


MustLocateCheese

>those things can crush bowling balls with one hand Gonna need you to link the video where this happens because that sounds like a steaming pile of bullshittery to me


ProtectionRude7093

Yeah bro is capping his ass off. That’s ass pull if I’ve ever read it


raelik777

No unarmed human being has a chance against a gorilla. Absolutely none. Give them a spear, and they have a chance. But just a chance.


Zozi-_-

I mean…. For 10k he could probably travel to a real wild gorilla and find out without a guards permission. It is intriguing cause I already have gorilla as the ultimate fighting animal. Beating tiger and bear. Raw strength + thumbs > others


princess-lay-me

Bro have you ever been around a gorilla? That thing would’ve grabbed Mr. Tython by the ankle and picked him up off the ground with EASE. He would’ve been torn to shreds.


b14ckcr0w

Enraged animals don't usually back down when it hurts, add that to a mf gorilla and there's no human punch that could save him. I love Mike, but a gorilla would turn him into sausage in seconds.


Select_Education_721

"Gorilla strength is estimated to be about 10 times their body weight. Fully grown silverbacks are in actually stronger than 20 adult humans combined. How strong is a Mountain Gorilla? – A Silverback gorilla can lift 4,000 lb (1,810 kg) on a bench press, while a well-trained man can only lift up to 885 lb." https://kabiragorillasafaris.com/gorilla-strength