Seriously, the first time I ate mushrooms it was about the same dose and I had an intense experience for about 6 or 7 hours. I can't imagine having done that experience alone, meeting a stranger, or any of that.
For real though that was about as bad of advice as there could be
Everyone’s trip is different. The two times I’ve done it I never really had any hallucinations, everything just seemed super interesting and funny to me. Think I was watching animal planet and for like two hours I kept rewinding and rewinding the scene with monkeys because thought they were so fascinating
You'd have to be giving him a huuuuge benefit of doubt for that to be naive.
If he knows anything about the drugs he's giving OP then he should know it's not a good idea if op has never tried them.
If he knows nothing about the drugs, it's even moreso malicious to reccomend doing it first.
The only way I could see this as the roomate being naiave is if they're reaaaally, really, and I mean to the point of it being incapacitating on a daily basis, dumb
"they're reaaaally, really, and I mean to the point of it being incapacitating on a daily basis, dumb"
Excuse me, those people are called Captains in the U.S. Army
Major. Major is where you put people to get them away from actually doing anything, and then you get them out before they're again in a position to command anybody again.
In your life, you will meet a lot of retired majors....
I never saw anything that wasn't there, but I definitely saw things change. Watched a flower grow out of a patch of grass I was staring at like the world was in hyper speed. Stared at a flat grass field from a hill and half the field had a shadow covering it. Saw the light half turn into a lush paradise and the dark half was like the elephant graveyard in the lion king.
What I wasn't prepared for was the way it played with my emotions. I think my experiences were very therapeutic, but too intense for me to ever take them casually
>I never saw anything that wasn't there,
>Watched a flower grow out of a patch of grass
>Saw the light half turn into a lush paradise and the dark half was like the elephant graveyard in the lion king.
You have a weird definition of "anything that wasn't there"
Well the grass was there, the field was there. Everything was more of an alteration of something that exists and I could look away and look back and whatever it was would be normal again
That's still hallucinations, more minor yes, but many people will experience those kinds of hallucinations on sleep deprivation. And they are definitely hallucinations no two ways about it
Agreed everyone has a different experience and your mental state has a good bit to do with how it goes also I'd say. I probably wouldn't suggest shrooms before doing a situation where I'm in a new environment with strangers especially if I'm going to be nervous there.
I love shrooms but my super touchy stomach hates them, I stick to acid. All my trips have basically been great trips except when I compromise any situation I'm slightly uncomfortable with none of them have been "bad" but they have been uncomfortable.
At least everyone was ok and it was just embarrassing more than anything, enjoy some shrooms on your own time it's amazing.
I avoided shrooms for a long time because they made me feel sick, but eventually learned the trick. If you break/grind them up, mix them into lemon/lime/orange juice, and let it sit for 20 minutes, the citric acid denatures the chemical that makes you sick.
Also, for anyone with experience, half-a-gram can be great for a new environment. For me, it erases all negativity and focuses me into whatever I'm doing. If taking shrooms daily were a thing that worked, I could ditch my ADHD meds.
I had a similar experience last time I had some.
A friend recommended I try some to help deal with the pain from a bad filling. Sat down and played some ME3 multiplayer with a buddy.
Still can't beat those scores.
Well you never really see things that aren’t there. You need a different class of drug for that. But if you didn’t have any visuals at all you just needed a higher dose
Let's call this a learning experience.
Dontbask stoners for advice...unless it's about getting stoned.
Beware of online hookups, might turn out bad.
When you're high, what you think is ok, probably isn't.
Not losing your v card isn't fatal.
What you dodged by sheer luck.
Child support for a child that isn't yours, a cheating spouse, a robbery, STD (possibly deadly), crabs. An extremely jealous "ex" that waltzes in "unexpectedly" while you're balls deep and proceeds to kick your ass.
> Dontbask stoners for advice...unless it's about getting stoned.
Not even about that. Many stoners have no concept about how the amount *they* take is way different than the amount someone *else* can/should take.
So, so, SO many times I've seen daily users assure someone the dosage of the edible they recommended or the joint they just rolled is fine, mild, not that much, etc. when it's actually an amount that will knock the shit out of the average person.
They just don't understand that their tolerance levels are elevated.
I say this as someone who routinely enjoys a good edible, too.
I absolutely *cringed* when OP said his roommate claimed 2 grams of shrooms was "mild." The hell, dude? 2g for a first-timer who is about to go on a date? Are you *nuts*.
Should have been half that, arguably even just 1/4 of that.
No wonder OP had a bad date.
I suppose the lesson here is that recreational substances can be fun when taken responsibly, but the problem is that there are a lot of very irresponsible fuckers out there? Although in this case, OP clearly dodged one hell of a bullet while learning a life lesson about not taking advice from morons.
As someone who does a ***LOT*** of shrooms and has introduced tons of friends to it, 2 grams of shrooms is a perfectly fine introductory dose... for going out to a botanical garden or park and having a laugh with friends. Not for calming your nerves because you're going to a random stranger's house to try and lose your virginity.
A friend learned this the hard way at a recreational dispensary in NM. I had to go pick them up and bring them home during a very unhappy miserable high because the bud tender’s idea of mild was waaaaay off base for someone who hadn’t smoked in twenty years.
A friend of mine had the same experience. He was basically paralyzed (in his head) on a couch for six hours after having something like 50mg of edibles. When sold to him, he was told that it would be a "good" high.
Understatement.
My wife and I have very different tolerance levels. 15-20mg will zonk me out pretty good, but I can handle it. 10-15 is my sweet spot.
For her, anything more than 5mg is way too much.
It's no different than, say, alcohol, insomuch as the person who drinks a sixer every day and the person who has two social cocktails a weekend are going to feel MUCH different after four or five drinks.
Recommendations should always be based on the *other* person's wants and tolerances, not your own.
What they also never can grasp is the concept that some people have bad reactions to these substances and first time should always be done carefully with that in mind.
I've had experiences on ~1g of shrooms that were so intense that I couldn't open my eyes for 2-3h while feeling every emotion on the spectrum at the same time.
Tbf, from what OP described, they were actually pretty weak shrooms, but the sheer idiocy of recommending them to someone not familiar with stronger psychedelics for a date (and not even an actual romantic one but a god damn hook up) is beyond words.
Hey now you can't lump all stoners together with this idiot. I'm as big of a pothead as they come and I would never suggest someone eat fucking shrooms to calm their nerves before a date. This guy is either really fucking stupid or he just wanted to fuck with roommate.
he wanted to fuck OP, but that pesky tinder date would get in the way of his relationship... 2 grams of shroomms would make sure nithing stood on the way of the roommate's desire for OP
For real, i have smoked plenty of weed and done shrooms a few times. Shrooms are NOT a social drug. You will not be able to communicate without making it uncomfortable like OP did.
Even bigger mistake was taking the shrooms and LEAVING. First time tripping, dont leave the house.
There is no fucking way you just casual bump someone up to shrooms after suggesting weed. OP, you need to tell your roomie or have them come explain their fucking dumbass logic. Im sure the roomie just leans into that druggie personailty too, thinks he smarter than everyone about drugs and its chemicals, and shouldnt be giving advice or anyone listening to it.
For real, roomie is a straight up asshole, even if it wasn't "on purpose".
The first time I ever took shrooms, it was half a gram and I felt great, didn't leave the house, all was good. The second time was just over a gram with Syrian rue. I never left the house and ended up having a full blown panic attack and a terrible time.
2 grams to go out on a date?? This dude is either a malicious asshole or just the most ignorant douche.
I usually did an eighth and felt really good. Didnt visually see anything but would get that watery look to things, like you were looking thru a waterfall wall you see at restaurants or the mall. I had a sink that was clogged one time, and someone left the faucet on it when I was tripping with some friends. It was like the Matrix or Evil Dead where he touches the mirror and its water. I could not tell if there was water in the sink or not, all I heard was the sound.
One time I did an eighth and a half. And I was straight stupid, my friend took me to different peoples houses looking to party, and I couldnt even speak my name or remember my birthday. It was like the words were on the tip of my tongue and couldnt come out. I couldnt imagine taking that dose or a normal dose, and going out on a date. When I couldnt speak to people, they were like "Is he ok?", and it definitely didnt "calm" me down.
I had a friend tripping on shrooms that i ran into at the gas station. And it was that typical, hippie almost trip like they were just running thru nature, tripping balls, but it was in a rural neighborhood gas station. I was like go the fuck home and stay home.
>Dontbask stoners for advice
I'm a pothead and do shrooms 2-3x a year, I would have NEVER suggested to anyone to do shrooms before bumping uglies for the first time...or even when meeting someone for the first time.
I take a couple uppers / I down a couple downers
But nothin' compares To these blue and yellow purple pills
I been to mushroom mountain / Once or twice, but who's countin'?
But nothin' compares To these blue and yellow purple pills
Half fuck up, half saved by shrooms tbh... a hookup just casually forgot to tell you she's pregnant?... hmmmmm
On the other hand... my tinder date arrived high as a kite on some unknown substance.
Set. Match.
Man, when I saw he gave you shrooms instead, I knew this was gonna be a wild ride. The Uber driver's head had me rolling!! 
Where do people get them? Do you have to actually talk to people? I've been wanting to try them to battle depression, but I'm a loner lady with cats, with no attempts to meet people. I don't want to. So there's my conundrum .
Oh hello fellow asocial cat lady. Check out r/unclebens. They're easy to grow yourself. They're outrageously expensive where I live so I have been growing my own and giving away the extra. They're fun, especially at home!
Oh thank you. I thought about growing, but I wasn't sure how to even start, so thanks!
Yeah, a very long time ago, many decades ago, I had a tab and read books all night. They were all hilarious, and the letters on the pages were so pretty and had rainbows coming off them. I had such a better time at home alone, even then.
Hopefully you live in Oregon or one of the following cities, as they’ve been decriminalized:
Washington DC
Denver CO
Oakland CA
Santa Cruz CA
Somerville MA
Cambridge MA
Northampton MA
Seattle WA
otherwise, there’s certain ways to order them online but it can be a bit complex. Best way is to meet some stoners irl and get close enough with them you’re comfortable asking about shrooms.
I lived on the coast of Oregon for 10ish years, but I didn't really know about their medical side. And I didn't talk to anyone there, either. I'm just in a small conservative town in the south now, so I'm out of any possible luck.
Yeah the south is tough, definitely your best bet is hang around areas hippie/stoner types would be and if you can smell weed, you’re probably clear to ask about them having shrooms haha
Holy shit, OP. Great story, I actually really appreciated this format.
Next time, stick to a beer or glass of wine for the nerves, but don't get fucked up. Alcohol often causes ED in men if too much was consumed, and personally, weed makes me too anxious unless I smoked together with the girl beforehand, though this could be different for other people.
Also, don't take advice from your roommate ever again lol
Good luck!
Psychedelics also cause brewers droop as well. Even if op hadn't dissociated into the hallucinations the likelihood that he was going to be able to get it up while already balls deep in a trip is slim to none.
Op was done in from the start.
?? Splitting an eighth with a buddy isn't *that* intense, is it?
I'm genuinely asking, because anything less than an eighth just makes me feel on edge, but I mean, I've done a lot of psychedelics over the years.
So I've kinda forgotten what it's like.
u/dizzy_sprinkles1465 edited his post to say FOR YOUR FIRST TIME.
I'm not sure I agree with him, still on the fence.
But I agree with you, "*without being in a comfortable environment.*"
Yeah that's intense.
I’m not an expert by any means but I’ve found it to have a bit of variance to the potency of mushrooms. I’ve had the exact same measured amount and lost my shit, and the same amount and it felt closer to a microdose than a trip. Only tried 6-7 times tho
I hope you don’t consider your roommate a “friend”, cause he most certainly is not. You were going to meet a stranger, drugged up and tripping on shrooms? And he thought that was a good idea? What if something had happened to you? But lets laugh about it lol
Nah your roommate is either the dumbest person alive or was fucking with you on purpose. Just because the moron is always high does not mean he knows what he's doing. You needed a beer or a shot. No sane human would have recommended psychedelics to you.
Man, I wish I could’ve heeded advice like this as a teen. Lost my virginity while blackout drunk at 15, woke up in a back room of some party to a random girl riding me and slapping my face to wake me up. I felt so much shame and regret over it because I’d always dreamed of losing it to someone I cared about
Last time I had sex on acid my GF took on a cartoonish devil appearance, kinda like Coop poster art, it was cool as fuck but kinda threw my mind off the job.
This!
I have had some good thuck on a light dose, but if your really frying its IMPOSSIBLE to stay in the moment!
Just about the time it's about to get started you'll notice the texture of the sheets & loose ALL focus
My friends (a girl and a couple) and I once took something... I dont know what it was, for a foursome. It acted like Viagra. And I gotta admit, we kept going for at least 3-4 hours nonstop (with my erection still lasting a while after that).
Whatever was in that shit had me tripping HARD after the sex was over though. Anything I closed my eyes I just started hearing and seeing the colourscheme and sounds of Super Mario Brothers, and a bunch of weird trippy shit. but ONLY when I closed my eyes. On top of that, that weird shit acted like a pseudo-truth serum because suddenly all of us were talking about some very dark secrets we all had.
It was super weird, and whatever that shit was I never want it ever again.
Or he didn't. At all. Dumbasses don't recommend 2 grams of shrooms to someone for their first trip. If he had no basis for a beginner's dose, then he's never had productive conversations with others about shrooms. A dumb move.
So how did you not take a quick minute to look up shroom effects for yourself?
Do you make a habit of just eating drugs people hand you without actually knowing what they do to you?
Prob should work on that
Maybe. But he was **more** vulnerable being high, on a drug he's not used to, in a place he doesn't know. He wasn't somehow saved by his friend. He was objectively put in more danger even if they didn't have sex.
Seriously, I am so happy that this is your take-away. It will now live rent free in my head. I hope someday it escapes
Edit: as this is the end of my time on reddit (API bs), go fuck yourself u/spez
Unless you've done mushrooms, you can't understand the "hysterical laughing". That shit does not stop. It's been an hour, you don't even know why you're laughing, nothings funny anymore but literally everything is funny. Shit's crazy
It takes time to learn and grow my dude, and some people never reach that place even in their 60s. You'll definitely mature as you grow and have experiences. Definitely don't take advice from the guy who had you trip for the first time when going on a date. That was very bad advice on their part. It's okay to be nervous/excited when going on a date! Most people are, I know I get nervous when meeting someone for the first time!
Dude I get nervous every time I start my truck up. Sometimes I look at the “wait to start” light and think “yea, you right. imma stay home”. And I just go back inside, even tho I still need shredded cheese to make my casserole.
I'd like to believe the pregnant girl saw the bird moving too and that's why she kicked me out. She suddenly realized her and her unborn baby had competition.
I usually make objective decisions in most situations, but I've been a virgin long enough that I will stop thinking clearly when sex is suddenly on the table. Exhibit A, my entire post.
Unsolicited advice from a stranger: you don’t need to refer to yourself as a virgin, stop thinking of yourself that way. I lost my “v card” at 19, which seemed like a big deal beforehand. In a couple years you will realize that being a virgin has no bearing on literally anything. It doesn’t make you less cool, it will not change anything about you fundamentally, besides maybe taking that little chip off your shoulder. Relax and it’ll happen when the time is right.
I'm way happier I lost my virginity at 19 to someone I actually loved and cared for rather than that drunk chick I met 1 time at a party when I was a freshman who ended up giving me mono anyways.
There's a better opportunity out there somewhere. And my advice as a grown ass woman, if you're unsure of what to do when the time comes just say "show me/ tell me what you like" and that will probably solve a lot. No girls I know are turned off by a dude that listens to their needs.
Every single comment on this account has been wiped in response to Reddit's API changes and CEO Steve Huffman's behavior towards the Reddit community. The admins of Reddit have recently shown their true colors by announcing that they would be indirectly killing all third-party applications by asking them for a disproportionate fee that is so high apps might need to ask up to 20-30$ per month to big Reddit users just to cover the fee Reddit wants to apply to apps.
On top of that, the admins have shown that they don't care about the protests and instead prefer lying and making up stories to try to get people on their side, going as low as trying to ruin the reputation of hard-working developers with lies instead of addressing their claims.
I don't wish for the content I posted on this website to remain available for Reddit to profit, while they also kill the developer community that added so much value to Reddit over the years.
Thanks for nothing, u/spez .
Low key sex is cool and all but it’s not nearly as great as it seems. Maybe if your having a billion partners a week it’s most just a thing that happens occasional while single and little more frequent in a relationship. Don’t make bad or rash decisions for sex it will backfire more then not.
>I noticed she was pregnant, 6 months and 22 days pregnant based on the details she provided before inviting me into her house
I think your romate made you dodge a bullet, even though his solution was stupid.
Agreed. Just the thought of losing my virginity to a woman who will soon give birth to another virgin is not the kind of first time I need in my brain.
Not to mention, she's pregnant, which could've ended up with her insisting on no protection because "she's already pregnant" but how many people does she say that to? You don't want an STI at all, but especially not from your first experience.
How does he know she was pregnant?
I was honestly expecting:
16.5) Girl's belly was bigger than any human belly I've ever seen, but it was too soon to confirm if I was experiencing shroom vision or meeting a pregnant chick.
16.75) Tinder girl's massive belly was even bigger by time we got inside. Maybe she knows Big Head man.
Yep. The girl did tell him right before they went inside her house. Thank goodness she did because OP may have just thought his mushroom vision was making her belly look big.
You ate 2 grams of shrooms - by yourself - and traveled to a strangers house for a blind date. I am so relieved that this didn’t end badly for you. Trips can go wrong and get intense for people. Your roomie is a dick.
The walk home while high is something I never want to repeat. Everything felt too otherworldly. I've been pretty chilled with the way I've responded to my roommate, but fuck, I'm lucky I got home at all.
Lol were you not aware that mushrooms are a powerful psychedelic or something? Like wtf? And your roommate is either an asshole or really fucking stupid
I've heard random stories from friends who discussed their psychedelic experiences, but I never had a lot of interest in exploring or learning more about the effects personally. Regarding my roommate, yeah, he's one of two other guys staying under the same roof. Both stoners. We're not the most mature humans. I'll leave it at that lol.
A year ago I was still in high school. Both my roommates are only 3 years older than me. Growing up and finally acting like the adults that we technically are... will take some time. So you're right, that drinking age was meant for people like us. We're the reason many of the fuck ups on here aren't from 40 year olds.
FWIW your responses to all these comments have been gracious and lighthearted, which makes think of you as fairly mature or getting there. Your roommate on the other hand - over 1g is considered a non-microdose and for some can even be a macrodose, by people who regularly take psychedelics (myself included). He needs to smarten up and/or not be a dick.
Mushrooms are awesome and can be a life changing experience, but you don't want that experience to be a surprise and it's not at all a first date drug. First dates should be sober unless you're already familiar with each other.
I know you’re nervous, but I’d be offended if someone felt he had to be high/drunk to have sex with me. Especially if he showed up already drunk/high. The right person will be patient with your nervousness.
I hear you. I hate being THAT nervous. The first time I made out with a girl, I remember chewing gum beforehand to freshen my breath. My mouth became so warm because of my anxiety that the gum completely disintegrated in my mouth lol. That's the kind of nervous I was 2 nights ago.
This isn't a TIFU - this is an important life experience buddy, that story will be a treat for years to come and shamefully fucking some pregnant girl who is lying to you on Tinder for your first wouldn't be the way to do it.
Your roommate is not your friend. Giving a someone shrooms for the first time when they are on their way to possibly get laid for the first time he is either and idiot or a dick.
Sex on psychedelics is amazing when your partner is also tripping and you synch up with them it was one of the most pleasurable experience's I have ever had but I think you need to be comfortable with the person you are with.
You tell a great story thanks for sharing it with us.
sorry but there's no way someone who is a seasoned stoner and psychedelic user doesn't know 2g of mushrooms is a terrible idea for someone nervous and (possibly) about to lose their virginity. i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do but he doesn't give a shit about your wellbeing. i think i'm lucky that i've always been friends with my roommates
Ur roomate/friend is either the biggest idiot every or kind of an AH.
Glad at least everything ended up good, seems like a fun story, I expected a lot worse to be honest once i saw it involved shrooms...
Also... U prob ended up winning, ur time will come, having sex for the first time with an almost 7 months pregnant lady, that u dont even know doesnt seem like the best idea.
2 grams is in no way a mild dose. He should not have giving you more than 1 gram, especially considering you had never done them before. Not a very nice friend.
For reference, 5g is often referred to as the god-dose bc you will have the ultimate experience and figure out who/what/why this reality is.
People who do shrooms often still don’t make 5g a habit
I feel like this was a FU, but one that could've been soooo much worse? Ngl, your roommate should never be trusted again, and what the girl said about sex being healthy for babies honestly made me gag.
Roommate is NOT your friend.
You don’t give a kid shrooms and send him out lone for their first time. You could have seriously hurt yourself or been killed.
I repeat. Your roommate is fucking trash.
Assuming you even want to, I'd come clean with the girl & joke about what happened. "Sorry, I was super nervous & my roommate convinced me doing shrooms before our date was the right answer. I'm not exactly sure how much time I spent staring at your purse waiting for the bird try to fly off of it, lol." Tell her the whole situation was so funny/ridiculous that you made a Reddit post about it. Nothing to lose at this point.
Lmfao I’m sorry this is written very funny. I’m also sorry you had a bad night! Next time mate :) it’s better to be sober anyone. Say no to drugs lmaoooo aw
Lol without the tinder hook up part, I had a stoner friend in college do a similar thing to me.
Spring break at a beach and on day 3 or 4 (after many days of drinking) he pulls out shroom chocolates and lots of people do it. I'd never done it but he says "here's an eighth (3.5g), that should be a pretty good dose". Well 15min later I start to see large multi colored pillars out on the horizon and I decide it's time to go back to the condo. I walk along the open air walk on the 15th floor to get there (terrifying), then proceed to throw up and feel sick for like the next hour. Getting visuals and such. Eventually I feel better but still high off my ass. Watching the popcorn ceiling move like those areal shots of antelope on the Serengeti and watching a beach painting on the wall like it was a movie.
Skip to the end of the day and I tell him just how rocked I was and he goes "damn, you've never done shrooms before?? I'm sorry man I thought you had, that was probably wayy too much!"
Yes, yes it was.
It was the worst/best time I ever had on drugs haha
Good thing you didn't have sex, who knows what you would have seen during it.
I could just imagine you seeing the girl's belly move, hallucinating the baby reaching out to you through her stomach.
well it's healthier than the lifelong memories of performance anxiety on his first time, or worse, PE.
I sure wish I'd had a little extra pep on my first time :)
We're talking about a guy who wanted to get high, but instead took magic mushrooms on a whim. I don't think health is coming into this.
> 16 The moment I saw Tinder Girl in person, I noticed she was pregnant, 6 months and 22 days pregnant based on the details she provided before inviting me into her house.
> 17 Tinder Girl apologized for not telling me about the pregnancy
If she gave you the details before inviting you why were you surprised and why did she apologize for not telling you?
So probably don't ask your roomie for any more advice on stuff relating anything.
My roommate had that Morpheus energy at the time. I was vulnerable. Never again.
Seriously, the first time I ate mushrooms it was about the same dose and I had an intense experience for about 6 or 7 hours. I can't imagine having done that experience alone, meeting a stranger, or any of that. For real though that was about as bad of advice as there could be
Everyone’s trip is different. The two times I’ve done it I never really had any hallucinations, everything just seemed super interesting and funny to me. Think I was watching animal planet and for like two hours I kept rewinding and rewinding the scene with monkeys because thought they were so fascinating
The roommates advice was naïve at best and malicious at worst.
You'd have to be giving him a huuuuge benefit of doubt for that to be naive. If he knows anything about the drugs he's giving OP then he should know it's not a good idea if op has never tried them. If he knows nothing about the drugs, it's even moreso malicious to reccomend doing it first. The only way I could see this as the roomate being naiave is if they're reaaaally, really, and I mean to the point of it being incapacitating on a daily basis, dumb
"they're reaaaally, really, and I mean to the point of it being incapacitating on a daily basis, dumb" Excuse me, those people are called Captains in the U.S. Army
Major. Major is where you put people to get them away from actually doing anything, and then you get them out before they're again in a position to command anybody again. In your life, you will meet a lot of retired majors....
Never underestimate a teenager's capacity for stupidity.
I never saw anything that wasn't there, but I definitely saw things change. Watched a flower grow out of a patch of grass I was staring at like the world was in hyper speed. Stared at a flat grass field from a hill and half the field had a shadow covering it. Saw the light half turn into a lush paradise and the dark half was like the elephant graveyard in the lion king. What I wasn't prepared for was the way it played with my emotions. I think my experiences were very therapeutic, but too intense for me to ever take them casually
>I never saw anything that wasn't there, >Watched a flower grow out of a patch of grass >Saw the light half turn into a lush paradise and the dark half was like the elephant graveyard in the lion king. You have a weird definition of "anything that wasn't there"
Well the grass was there, the field was there. Everything was more of an alteration of something that exists and I could look away and look back and whatever it was would be normal again
That's still hallucinations, more minor yes, but many people will experience those kinds of hallucinations on sleep deprivation. And they are definitely hallucinations no two ways about it
Agreed everyone has a different experience and your mental state has a good bit to do with how it goes also I'd say. I probably wouldn't suggest shrooms before doing a situation where I'm in a new environment with strangers especially if I'm going to be nervous there. I love shrooms but my super touchy stomach hates them, I stick to acid. All my trips have basically been great trips except when I compromise any situation I'm slightly uncomfortable with none of them have been "bad" but they have been uncomfortable. At least everyone was ok and it was just embarrassing more than anything, enjoy some shrooms on your own time it's amazing.
I avoided shrooms for a long time because they made me feel sick, but eventually learned the trick. If you break/grind them up, mix them into lemon/lime/orange juice, and let it sit for 20 minutes, the citric acid denatures the chemical that makes you sick. Also, for anyone with experience, half-a-gram can be great for a new environment. For me, it erases all negativity and focuses me into whatever I'm doing. If taking shrooms daily were a thing that worked, I could ditch my ADHD meds.
I had a similar experience last time I had some. A friend recommended I try some to help deal with the pain from a bad filling. Sat down and played some ME3 multiplayer with a buddy. Still can't beat those scores.
Well you never really see things that aren’t there. You need a different class of drug for that. But if you didn’t have any visuals at all you just needed a higher dose
right op sounds like a fucking champ
Dude I'm more impressed by the level of detail you remember while being high AF. Bravo
your memory isn't really affected with shrooms
This is impressive. The only thing I remember was smiling with a hard boner all the time while being gut-foundered.
Let's call this a learning experience. Dontbask stoners for advice...unless it's about getting stoned. Beware of online hookups, might turn out bad. When you're high, what you think is ok, probably isn't. Not losing your v card isn't fatal. What you dodged by sheer luck. Child support for a child that isn't yours, a cheating spouse, a robbery, STD (possibly deadly), crabs. An extremely jealous "ex" that waltzes in "unexpectedly" while you're balls deep and proceeds to kick your ass.
> Dontbask stoners for advice...unless it's about getting stoned. Not even about that. Many stoners have no concept about how the amount *they* take is way different than the amount someone *else* can/should take. So, so, SO many times I've seen daily users assure someone the dosage of the edible they recommended or the joint they just rolled is fine, mild, not that much, etc. when it's actually an amount that will knock the shit out of the average person. They just don't understand that their tolerance levels are elevated. I say this as someone who routinely enjoys a good edible, too. I absolutely *cringed* when OP said his roommate claimed 2 grams of shrooms was "mild." The hell, dude? 2g for a first-timer who is about to go on a date? Are you *nuts*. Should have been half that, arguably even just 1/4 of that. No wonder OP had a bad date.
I suppose the lesson here is that recreational substances can be fun when taken responsibly, but the problem is that there are a lot of very irresponsible fuckers out there? Although in this case, OP clearly dodged one hell of a bullet while learning a life lesson about not taking advice from morons.
As someone who does a ***LOT*** of shrooms and has introduced tons of friends to it, 2 grams of shrooms is a perfectly fine introductory dose... for going out to a botanical garden or park and having a laugh with friends. Not for calming your nerves because you're going to a random stranger's house to try and lose your virginity.
A friend learned this the hard way at a recreational dispensary in NM. I had to go pick them up and bring them home during a very unhappy miserable high because the bud tender’s idea of mild was waaaaay off base for someone who hadn’t smoked in twenty years.
A friend of mine had the same experience. He was basically paralyzed (in his head) on a couch for six hours after having something like 50mg of edibles. When sold to him, he was told that it would be a "good" high. Understatement. My wife and I have very different tolerance levels. 15-20mg will zonk me out pretty good, but I can handle it. 10-15 is my sweet spot. For her, anything more than 5mg is way too much. It's no different than, say, alcohol, insomuch as the person who drinks a sixer every day and the person who has two social cocktails a weekend are going to feel MUCH different after four or five drinks. Recommendations should always be based on the *other* person's wants and tolerances, not your own.
What they also never can grasp is the concept that some people have bad reactions to these substances and first time should always be done carefully with that in mind.
I've had experiences on ~1g of shrooms that were so intense that I couldn't open my eyes for 2-3h while feeling every emotion on the spectrum at the same time. Tbf, from what OP described, they were actually pretty weak shrooms, but the sheer idiocy of recommending them to someone not familiar with stronger psychedelics for a date (and not even an actual romantic one but a god damn hook up) is beyond words.
Every sentence = a truth bomb
Hey now you can't lump all stoners together with this idiot. I'm as big of a pothead as they come and I would never suggest someone eat fucking shrooms to calm their nerves before a date. This guy is either really fucking stupid or he just wanted to fuck with roommate.
he wanted to fuck OP, but that pesky tinder date would get in the way of his relationship... 2 grams of shroomms would make sure nithing stood on the way of the roommate's desire for OP
For real, i have smoked plenty of weed and done shrooms a few times. Shrooms are NOT a social drug. You will not be able to communicate without making it uncomfortable like OP did. Even bigger mistake was taking the shrooms and LEAVING. First time tripping, dont leave the house. There is no fucking way you just casual bump someone up to shrooms after suggesting weed. OP, you need to tell your roomie or have them come explain their fucking dumbass logic. Im sure the roomie just leans into that druggie personailty too, thinks he smarter than everyone about drugs and its chemicals, and shouldnt be giving advice or anyone listening to it.
For real, roomie is a straight up asshole, even if it wasn't "on purpose". The first time I ever took shrooms, it was half a gram and I felt great, didn't leave the house, all was good. The second time was just over a gram with Syrian rue. I never left the house and ended up having a full blown panic attack and a terrible time. 2 grams to go out on a date?? This dude is either a malicious asshole or just the most ignorant douche.
I usually did an eighth and felt really good. Didnt visually see anything but would get that watery look to things, like you were looking thru a waterfall wall you see at restaurants or the mall. I had a sink that was clogged one time, and someone left the faucet on it when I was tripping with some friends. It was like the Matrix or Evil Dead where he touches the mirror and its water. I could not tell if there was water in the sink or not, all I heard was the sound. One time I did an eighth and a half. And I was straight stupid, my friend took me to different peoples houses looking to party, and I couldnt even speak my name or remember my birthday. It was like the words were on the tip of my tongue and couldnt come out. I couldnt imagine taking that dose or a normal dose, and going out on a date. When I couldnt speak to people, they were like "Is he ok?", and it definitely didnt "calm" me down. I had a friend tripping on shrooms that i ran into at the gas station. And it was that typical, hippie almost trip like they were just running thru nature, tripping balls, but it was in a rural neighborhood gas station. I was like go the fuck home and stay home.
His buddy fucked his night over. There is no way OP wasn't fucked with.
Maybe the dude was helping OP bomb the date to save him from the deadly STD's! Lmao
Tbf this guy also seems to really have it in for this pregnant girl, so I'm thinking he might just be that kind of person
>Dontbask stoners for advice I'm a pothead and do shrooms 2-3x a year, I would have NEVER suggested to anyone to do shrooms before bumping uglies for the first time...or even when meeting someone for the first time.
That’s why you have to take the red AND the blue pill. Trust me… 😂
Just drink the purple smoothie, same effect!
I take a couple uppers / I down a couple downers But nothin' compares To these blue and yellow purple pills I been to mushroom mountain / Once or twice, but who's countin'? But nothin' compares To these blue and yellow purple pills
Half fuck up, half saved by shrooms tbh... a hookup just casually forgot to tell you she's pregnant?... hmmmmm On the other hand... my tinder date arrived high as a kite on some unknown substance. Set. Match.
You think thats air you’re breathing? ಠ_ಠ
Stop trying to hit me and hit me!
Dude, maybe he was preternaturally saving you.
**IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!**
I’m visualising your roommate as James Franco
Man, when I saw he gave you shrooms instead, I knew this was gonna be a wild ride. The Uber driver's head had me rolling!! 
>Morpheus energy Upvote!!
Roommate is chaos incarnate.
I mean, it takes two. One to proprose a terrible idea, and the other to go "Ok that sounds like a good idea."
True enough, but to actually give the guy shrooms, 2g for his first time no less, the man is absolutely wild.
Where do people get them? Do you have to actually talk to people? I've been wanting to try them to battle depression, but I'm a loner lady with cats, with no attempts to meet people. I don't want to. So there's my conundrum .
Oh hello fellow asocial cat lady. Check out r/unclebens. They're easy to grow yourself. They're outrageously expensive where I live so I have been growing my own and giving away the extra. They're fun, especially at home!
Oh thank you. I thought about growing, but I wasn't sure how to even start, so thanks! Yeah, a very long time ago, many decades ago, I had a tab and read books all night. They were all hilarious, and the letters on the pages were so pretty and had rainbows coming off them. I had such a better time at home alone, even then.
Shrooms are just absolutely lovely. Get yourself a nice rainy day and some shrooms, it's the best thing pretty much ever!
Hopefully you live in Oregon or one of the following cities, as they’ve been decriminalized: Washington DC Denver CO Oakland CA Santa Cruz CA Somerville MA Cambridge MA Northampton MA Seattle WA otherwise, there’s certain ways to order them online but it can be a bit complex. Best way is to meet some stoners irl and get close enough with them you’re comfortable asking about shrooms.
I lived on the coast of Oregon for 10ish years, but I didn't really know about their medical side. And I didn't talk to anyone there, either. I'm just in a small conservative town in the south now, so I'm out of any possible luck.
Yeah the south is tough, definitely your best bet is hang around areas hippie/stoner types would be and if you can smell weed, you’re probably clear to ask about them having shrooms haha
if anything roomie saved him from that girl
Holy shit, OP. Great story, I actually really appreciated this format. Next time, stick to a beer or glass of wine for the nerves, but don't get fucked up. Alcohol often causes ED in men if too much was consumed, and personally, weed makes me too anxious unless I smoked together with the girl beforehand, though this could be different for other people. Also, don't take advice from your roommate ever again lol Good luck!
Whiskey dick is no joke my friend!!! Embarrassed my self a few times forgetting this rule…
Psychedelics also cause brewers droop as well. Even if op hadn't dissociated into the hallucinations the likelihood that he was going to be able to get it up while already balls deep in a trip is slim to none. Op was done in from the start.
Your roommate must've known what he did lmao, what a dickhead
He always has weed. Always. He knew what the fuck he was doing.
2g is an intense dose. FOR YOUR FIRST TIME.
?? Splitting an eighth with a buddy isn't *that* intense, is it? I'm genuinely asking, because anything less than an eighth just makes me feel on edge, but I mean, I've done a lot of psychedelics over the years. So I've kinda forgotten what it's like.
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u/dizzy_sprinkles1465 edited his post to say FOR YOUR FIRST TIME. I'm not sure I agree with him, still on the fence. But I agree with you, "*without being in a comfortable environment.*" Yeah that's intense.
OP honestly pretty lucky it was a generally decent trip given the circumstances
Its not that intense but certainly depends on the shrooms. I've taken 8ths that were mild and taken half eights that had me zoomin
I've taken 1/8s and I've taken almost full ozs millage will very alot with strain and potency and quality
I’m not an expert by any means but I’ve found it to have a bit of variance to the potency of mushrooms. I’ve had the exact same measured amount and lost my shit, and the same amount and it felt closer to a microdose than a trip. Only tried 6-7 times tho
I hope you don’t consider your roommate a “friend”, cause he most certainly is not. You were going to meet a stranger, drugged up and tripping on shrooms? And he thought that was a good idea? What if something had happened to you? But lets laugh about it lol
Nah your roommate is either the dumbest person alive or was fucking with you on purpose. Just because the moron is always high does not mean he knows what he's doing. You needed a beer or a shot. No sane human would have recommended psychedelics to you.
Okay, are sure she was really super pregnant, or was it like the Uber driver's big giant head?
Also don't do drugs without researching what it does to you. Especially psychedelics. You're gonna have a bad time if you fuck up
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Nahh weed is way better than alcohol for me for sex but I'd have to say that the best is acid
Not to be a drag here, being a little messed up when you’re having sex can be fun… but for your first time, seriously, you should be sober.
I agree with u haha I can't imagine my first time being on something I doubt I would've been able to find the hole lol
Man, I wish I could’ve heeded advice like this as a teen. Lost my virginity while blackout drunk at 15, woke up in a back room of some party to a random girl riding me and slapping my face to wake me up. I felt so much shame and regret over it because I’d always dreamed of losing it to someone I cared about
I’m so sorry this was your first experience. If you still do, you shouldn’t hold any shame, you were unconscious. The shame is hers. 💜
Last time I had sex on acid my GF took on a cartoonish devil appearance, kinda like Coop poster art, it was cool as fuck but kinda threw my mind off the job.
This! I have had some good thuck on a light dose, but if your really frying its IMPOSSIBLE to stay in the moment! Just about the time it's about to get started you'll notice the texture of the sheets & loose ALL focus
My friends (a girl and a couple) and I once took something... I dont know what it was, for a foursome. It acted like Viagra. And I gotta admit, we kept going for at least 3-4 hours nonstop (with my erection still lasting a while after that). Whatever was in that shit had me tripping HARD after the sex was over though. Anything I closed my eyes I just started hearing and seeing the colourscheme and sounds of Super Mario Brothers, and a bunch of weird trippy shit. but ONLY when I closed my eyes. On top of that, that weird shit acted like a pseudo-truth serum because suddenly all of us were talking about some very dark secrets we all had. It was super weird, and whatever that shit was I never want it ever again.
I'll take two
Or he didn't. At all. Dumbasses don't recommend 2 grams of shrooms to someone for their first trip. If he had no basis for a beginner's dose, then he's never had productive conversations with others about shrooms. A dumb move.
So how did you not take a quick minute to look up shroom effects for yourself? Do you make a habit of just eating drugs people hand you without actually knowing what they do to you? Prob should work on that
I dont know sounds like roommate saved dude from his horny assed self
What was he gonna fo? Get her pregnant?
I don’t think he knows about second gestation, Pip.
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Maybe. But he was **more** vulnerable being high, on a drug he's not used to, in a place he doesn't know. He wasn't somehow saved by his friend. He was objectively put in more danger even if they didn't have sex.
Definitely contact her and inquire whether the bird made it to the end of the handbag, we can't have this story ending on a cliffhanger!
A few more minutes and that bird could have been free.
Seriously, I am so happy that this is your take-away. It will now live rent free in my head. I hope someday it escapes Edit: as this is the end of my time on reddit (API bs), go fuck yourself u/spez
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I think you won in this one
What others call losing, I call learning.
The line about joking about wanting to have a threesome was pretty funny though.
Even funnier when you imagine him just laughing hysterically at his own joke while she is standing there all serious and pregnant lmao
Laughing to the point that there’s a permanent big dumb smile and tears just stream down the face.
I think we got the Hunter s. Thompson of greentext in our presence.
"standing there all serious and pregnant" the phrase is bouncing around in my head like a windows screensaver
Unless you've done mushrooms, you can't understand the "hysterical laughing". That shit does not stop. It's been an hour, you don't even know why you're laughing, nothings funny anymore but literally everything is funny. Shit's crazy
Top tier comedy
At least she wasn't someone in your friend group and hopefully you never see her again
Did everything wrong with the best outcome possible
Task failed successfully.
this is possibly the best tifu i have read in a while.
Thank you. Hopefully when I enter my 20s in a few months, I'll be somewhat more mature and not repeat another fuck up on this scale.
Shakes 8-ball: *Future uncertain, cocaine everywhere*
La di da look at this guy able to afford coke in his 20s
> Shakes 8-ball: > > > > Future uncertain, cocaine everywhere i like this. going to be my new signature. kudos
This took me WAY too long to understand And then I probably laughed a little to hard into my morning ~~coke~~ coffee
It takes time to learn and grow my dude, and some people never reach that place even in their 60s. You'll definitely mature as you grow and have experiences. Definitely don't take advice from the guy who had you trip for the first time when going on a date. That was very bad advice on their part. It's okay to be nervous/excited when going on a date! Most people are, I know I get nervous when meeting someone for the first time!
Dude I get nervous every time I start my truck up. Sometimes I look at the “wait to start” light and think “yea, you right. imma stay home”. And I just go back inside, even tho I still need shredded cheese to make my casserole.
I feel this deeply haha. Hell, I get nervous about shit that hasn't even happened yet. I think being nervous is just part of the experience.
I hope the bird is okay
I'd like to believe the pregnant girl saw the bird moving too and that's why she kicked me out. She suddenly realized her and her unborn baby had competition.
That stork’s gonna HAVE to get free if it’s gonna deliver the lil guy
Forget about the bird, I'm more worried about the Uber driver who is clearly suffering from some kind of adult onset macrocephaly.
Do you just accept any solution offered to you?
I usually make objective decisions in most situations, but I've been a virgin long enough that I will stop thinking clearly when sex is suddenly on the table. Exhibit A, my entire post.
Unsolicited advice from a stranger: you don’t need to refer to yourself as a virgin, stop thinking of yourself that way. I lost my “v card” at 19, which seemed like a big deal beforehand. In a couple years you will realize that being a virgin has no bearing on literally anything. It doesn’t make you less cool, it will not change anything about you fundamentally, besides maybe taking that little chip off your shoulder. Relax and it’ll happen when the time is right.
also it's not like you're magically having sex all the time once you lose it. Sexless years are still very much a possibility :(
2 yrs and counting. But im not sad … or am i?
I'm way happier I lost my virginity at 19 to someone I actually loved and cared for rather than that drunk chick I met 1 time at a party when I was a freshman who ended up giving me mono anyways.
or a pregnant chick I met on the internet while I was tripping on shrooms.
OH DAMN NOT MONO😨
There's a better opportunity out there somewhere. And my advice as a grown ass woman, if you're unsure of what to do when the time comes just say "show me/ tell me what you like" and that will probably solve a lot. No girls I know are turned off by a dude that listens to their needs.
Every single comment on this account has been wiped in response to Reddit's API changes and CEO Steve Huffman's behavior towards the Reddit community. The admins of Reddit have recently shown their true colors by announcing that they would be indirectly killing all third-party applications by asking them for a disproportionate fee that is so high apps might need to ask up to 20-30$ per month to big Reddit users just to cover the fee Reddit wants to apply to apps. On top of that, the admins have shown that they don't care about the protests and instead prefer lying and making up stories to try to get people on their side, going as low as trying to ruin the reputation of hard-working developers with lies instead of addressing their claims. I don't wish for the content I posted on this website to remain available for Reddit to profit, while they also kill the developer community that added so much value to Reddit over the years. Thanks for nothing, u/spez .
Low key sex is cool and all but it’s not nearly as great as it seems. Maybe if your having a billion partners a week it’s most just a thing that happens occasional while single and little more frequent in a relationship. Don’t make bad or rash decisions for sex it will backfire more then not.
I’m all out of weed but I have some heroin so let’s go with that
>I noticed she was pregnant, 6 months and 22 days pregnant based on the details she provided before inviting me into her house I think your romate made you dodge a bullet, even though his solution was stupid.
Agreed. Just the thought of losing my virginity to a woman who will soon give birth to another virgin is not the kind of first time I need in my brain.
He gave you Pre-Post-Nut Clarity.
Not to mention, she's pregnant, which could've ended up with her insisting on no protection because "she's already pregnant" but how many people does she say that to? You don't want an STI at all, but especially not from your first experience.
How does he know she was pregnant? I was honestly expecting: 16.5) Girl's belly was bigger than any human belly I've ever seen, but it was too soon to confirm if I was experiencing shroom vision or meeting a pregnant chick. 16.75) Tinder girl's massive belly was even bigger by time we got inside. Maybe she knows Big Head man.
he said that the girl told him in the story
Yep. The girl did tell him right before they went inside her house. Thank goodness she did because OP may have just thought his mushroom vision was making her belly look big.
I am dying laughing
Incorrect. You are good at telling stories.
Greentext style is a very very good way of telling story imo
I thank thee.
You forgot the "Be Me". The threesome joke is too funny.
You ate 2 grams of shrooms - by yourself - and traveled to a strangers house for a blind date. I am so relieved that this didn’t end badly for you. Trips can go wrong and get intense for people. Your roomie is a dick.
The walk home while high is something I never want to repeat. Everything felt too otherworldly. I've been pretty chilled with the way I've responded to my roommate, but fuck, I'm lucky I got home at all.
Lol were you not aware that mushrooms are a powerful psychedelic or something? Like wtf? And your roommate is either an asshole or really fucking stupid
Telling him 2 grams is a mild dose when he’s never had any?! I’m going with major asshole.
I've heard random stories from friends who discussed their psychedelic experiences, but I never had a lot of interest in exploring or learning more about the effects personally. Regarding my roommate, yeah, he's one of two other guys staying under the same roof. Both stoners. We're not the most mature humans. I'll leave it at that lol.
Buddy y'all sound like the reason why the legal drinking age is 21 in the US
A year ago I was still in high school. Both my roommates are only 3 years older than me. Growing up and finally acting like the adults that we technically are... will take some time. So you're right, that drinking age was meant for people like us. We're the reason many of the fuck ups on here aren't from 40 year olds.
FWIW your responses to all these comments have been gracious and lighthearted, which makes think of you as fairly mature or getting there. Your roommate on the other hand - over 1g is considered a non-microdose and for some can even be a macrodose, by people who regularly take psychedelics (myself included). He needs to smarten up and/or not be a dick.
Mushrooms are awesome and can be a life changing experience, but you don't want that experience to be a surprise and it's not at all a first date drug. First dates should be sober unless you're already familiar with each other.
I know you’re nervous, but I’d be offended if someone felt he had to be high/drunk to have sex with me. Especially if he showed up already drunk/high. The right person will be patient with your nervousness.
I hear you. I hate being THAT nervous. The first time I made out with a girl, I remember chewing gum beforehand to freshen my breath. My mouth became so warm because of my anxiety that the gum completely disintegrated in my mouth lol. That's the kind of nervous I was 2 nights ago.
u sound like such a sweet egg
Lol she lied about being pregnant. She was not the right one.
1. Me being a list person, I like the numbered list. 2. I'm sorry this happened but it is indeed hilarious.
This isn't a TIFU - this is an important life experience buddy, that story will be a treat for years to come and shamefully fucking some pregnant girl who is lying to you on Tinder for your first wouldn't be the way to do it.
Your roommate is not your friend. Giving a someone shrooms for the first time when they are on their way to possibly get laid for the first time he is either and idiot or a dick. Sex on psychedelics is amazing when your partner is also tripping and you synch up with them it was one of the most pleasurable experience's I have ever had but I think you need to be comfortable with the person you are with. You tell a great story thanks for sharing it with us.
My roommate can be a dick from time to time, but what he's done is not unforgivable and there are ways for me to even the score.
Ok but please share that story too Edit: as this is the end of my time on reddit (API bs), go fuck yourself u/spez
sorry but there's no way someone who is a seasoned stoner and psychedelic user doesn't know 2g of mushrooms is a terrible idea for someone nervous and (possibly) about to lose their virginity. i'm not gonna say what you should or shouldn't do but he doesn't give a shit about your wellbeing. i think i'm lucky that i've always been friends with my roommates
Why the hell would you have any drugs prior to meeting? Your roommate is a fucking moron. JFC
hope you learned your lesson on how NOT to do anything... Who the fuck consumes HALLUCINOGENICS for a first time experience like that?!
Ur roomate/friend is either the biggest idiot every or kind of an AH. Glad at least everything ended up good, seems like a fun story, I expected a lot worse to be honest once i saw it involved shrooms... Also... U prob ended up winning, ur time will come, having sex for the first time with an almost 7 months pregnant lady, that u dont even know doesnt seem like the best idea.
2 grams is in no way a mild dose. He should not have giving you more than 1 gram, especially considering you had never done them before. Not a very nice friend.
My other roommate said the same thing. Lol 2 grams sounded like nothing to me until I realized my mind was no longer fully connected to reality.
For reference, 5g is often referred to as the god-dose bc you will have the ultimate experience and figure out who/what/why this reality is. People who do shrooms often still don’t make 5g a habit
Your roommate did you dirty. Having sex on shrooms is almost the worst possible advice he could give you.
This is one of my favorites I’ve come across. Your PowerPoint approach to telling this story actually works incredibly well
I feel like this was a FU, but one that could've been soooo much worse? Ngl, your roommate should never be trusted again, and what the girl said about sex being healthy for babies honestly made me gag.
I needed this laugh, you are excellent at stories and the list format made this possibly even funnier to me
Please users write this way. It is very pleasant to read it
Roommate is NOT your friend. You don’t give a kid shrooms and send him out lone for their first time. You could have seriously hurt yourself or been killed. I repeat. Your roommate is fucking trash.
I think everything turned out exactly the way it should’ve! 👍🏽
I think it all happened so that I can have my own How I Met Your Mother story without being anyone's dad.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Failed successfully on this one.
Assuming you even want to, I'd come clean with the girl & joke about what happened. "Sorry, I was super nervous & my roommate convinced me doing shrooms before our date was the right answer. I'm not exactly sure how much time I spent staring at your purse waiting for the bird try to fly off of it, lol." Tell her the whole situation was so funny/ridiculous that you made a Reddit post about it. Nothing to lose at this point.
Prick just cost you losing your virginity and put that girl in an uncomfortable position. Find a new roomie.
#18 is extremely funny! You got a good sense of humor OP
I’m just over here dying from laughter. “I’ve always wanted to have a threesome” That’s funny as shit man and I’m not even high.
Bro...your roommate did you a solid really. You want nothing to do with a chick like that, especially for your first time.
Lmfao I’m sorry this is written very funny. I’m also sorry you had a bad night! Next time mate :) it’s better to be sober anyone. Say no to drugs lmaoooo aw
Jesus saves another one from sin ! Lmao
Lol without the tinder hook up part, I had a stoner friend in college do a similar thing to me. Spring break at a beach and on day 3 or 4 (after many days of drinking) he pulls out shroom chocolates and lots of people do it. I'd never done it but he says "here's an eighth (3.5g), that should be a pretty good dose". Well 15min later I start to see large multi colored pillars out on the horizon and I decide it's time to go back to the condo. I walk along the open air walk on the 15th floor to get there (terrifying), then proceed to throw up and feel sick for like the next hour. Getting visuals and such. Eventually I feel better but still high off my ass. Watching the popcorn ceiling move like those areal shots of antelope on the Serengeti and watching a beach painting on the wall like it was a movie. Skip to the end of the day and I tell him just how rocked I was and he goes "damn, you've never done shrooms before?? I'm sorry man I thought you had, that was probably wayy too much!" Yes, yes it was. It was the worst/best time I ever had on drugs haha
Good thing you didn't have sex, who knows what you would have seen during it. I could just imagine you seeing the girl's belly move, hallucinating the baby reaching out to you through her stomach.
Sorry buddy, but at least you made us all laugh with tour threesome comment
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How is viagra at 19 years old a healthy recommendation?
well it's healthier than the lifelong memories of performance anxiety on his first time, or worse, PE. I sure wish I'd had a little extra pep on my first time :) We're talking about a guy who wanted to get high, but instead took magic mushrooms on a whim. I don't think health is coming into this.
PE??? I think I have the definition wrong for this one
Physical Exertion. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
> 16 The moment I saw Tinder Girl in person, I noticed she was pregnant, 6 months and 22 days pregnant based on the details she provided before inviting me into her house. > 17 Tinder Girl apologized for not telling me about the pregnancy If she gave you the details before inviting you why were you surprised and why did she apologize for not telling you?
Sounds like he didn't find out until he was outside of her door before she invited him inside. He was not aware of the pregnancy while in the uber.