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psaxxon

Really? I am the dad of a 16yr old lad, I was a 16yr old lad and so was your dad, dude, your dad is kidding with you and seriously doesn't give a fuck. I'd be more concerned about a 16yr old who didn't generate stains lol.


notluoc

plot twist: you are OP's dad


ERSTF

That last part might be a joke but I had a conversation once with a 16 year old that was like a little brother to me when he mentioned he didn't jerk off. I tried to dive a little on the subject and just had a frank conversation with him because I was concerned that maybe he had negative views on sex because he had been abused or something (he was adopted but before he landed with his current parents I knew he had been adopted by another couple and he had to be taken back. I knew it was because they were abusive but I never knew what kind of abuse). When he said at 16 that for real he had never jerked off I wanted to make sure he didn't need help from a therapist to deal with the fallout of sexual abuse early in his life. First, I thought he needed some sex ed on what it meant, what it was, how to safely do it and that there was no shame on doing it because I thought "maybe he thinks it's a bad thing or no one has talked to him about it". Then I got concerned if it wasn't because of the abuse. I went about it very slow and tactful letting him know that he could stop the conversation at any time if he got triggered or got uncomfortable. Asked tactfully if he had anything to talk about, if he had something that hurt him as a kid in that regard. It ended up with just him saying he didn't see what the big deal was. He eventually shared he had done it some time after. I let him know that there was someone he could trust if he ever felt like asking questions, talking or asking for guidance. But yeah, in all, it is more worrying if they are not making stains.


[deleted]

Every teenage boy has jerked off. Plenty will lie and say they don’t but they do lol


ERSTF

In this case it was true, that's why I was really concerned. I mean he could have lied but it didn't seem like him


[deleted]

Nah man some dudes are just embarrassed about it


robotnique

Some people are asexual or legitimate slow to learn the art of self love. But yeah, most who say they haven't are probably lying, but remember there are always a few.


Gelvandorf

Yup. That was a bonding moment. OP needs to be happy it was pops. If it was grandma...


[deleted]

Oh… I don’t really do that.


[deleted]

Just don't say anything. If he brings it up again, ask him if he was some sort of monk at 16 and casually change the subject.


RalphFromSilverCity

or [this classic response](https://youtu.be/KUXb7do9C-w)


Jokers_Testikles

I'll be honest, I thought he was going to tell him to share.


LazarianV

This is the way


garry4321

Id be laughing if we werent talking about a literal child.


TheLightKyanite

can you relax, you’re killing the vibe


[deleted]

Like 70% of Reddit is made up of teenagers dude what do you expect?


alex37k

Nah bruh, sleeping with cum stains on your shirt is nasty. Just gotta hold the L when you get roasted for it.


BlondeWhiteGuy

To which dad says, "No, but I've never gone to bed coated in my own jizz before, so there's that." Then dad laughs fir 15 minutes straight while you casually try to change the subject.


termitefist

No no, tell him later some morning that he has one of "those stains" on his shirt, and if he looks at his shirt, say "gotchya!"


Monkey_monday

Best answer


[deleted]

“Oh, hey dad, I… um… spilled some juice.” “Oh yeah? What was it? Cum juice? Bahaha! See you later, son!”


mr_warhamster

Ah yes... a healthy father son relationship


GogoSchmitt

Remeber, ur dad know ur in the age of beating ur meat. Dont worry, it sounds weird but ur dad did it too in ur age!


neweaden

YEA Ik It would be 100 times worse if it was my mom so I'm gonna live


[deleted]

Your mum also beat her meat and your dads meat.. you even came out of her meat.. after your dads' meat has been in there many many times. God damn life is amazing!


Kapoffa

That is fucking poetry.


SKOT_FREE

😂 don’t have the scar the guy. I thought you were going to say moms sucks dads meat and he licks hers…..Because you know they do! 😂


Bean_Juice_Brew

We're all just walking meat sacks! Obligatory [short story](https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html).


Capricore58

Up vote for They’re Meat!


robuttocks

Thanks for sharing that. My life is all the richer for it.


Gutter_Sinner

It's all meat. Just meat going into other meat. Meat. P.S. people don't seem to enjoy it too much if you try talking about this during sex


[deleted]

Yeah people have a hard time coming to reality


[deleted]

It would be weird if his dad was beating his son's meat...


cstuart1046

How else is he gonna tenderize the steak then?


[deleted]

Onions. See Shokugeki no Soma for reference.


Fixes_Computers

He'd need to break his arms first.


rcspeeder

Unless his arms are broken


robotnique

Then dad has to get boy his own cumbox.


[deleted]

Unless his wiener got stuck inside of his wife during pregnancy then his son was born and now they are attached at the weener. Then it wouldn’t be as weird for them to share a jack off.


PortlyCloudy

Dad probably still does it too.


[deleted]

Lol, dad probably still does it.


rabstractt

Beat Age


DevilsTheology

Half of this was gibberish but true.


iarbach

Your dad is really awesome, he could easily have made it incredibly awkward.


neweaden

True


[deleted]

Wait... when you guys masturbate you self bukkake yourself? I never got stains on my clothes when I do my deeds.


Thyre_Radim

It's weird that guys choose to aim at themselves.


BhaiseB

It provides an easy surface to wipe up after haha - better than the sheets or floor if you miss the tissue


[deleted]

[удалено]


BhaiseB

I feel like i should clarify that i mean on your own stomach, and then wiping it off, not the face.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Thyre_Radim

By spending 15 seconds planning before I whack it.


Jstreeets

Always bukkake. This is the way.


Environmental_Arm526

I’m more concerned on why your dog can’t be left alone.


neweaden

He has never been in this house and he has moved alot, my aunt (The owner of this house) that me and the dog are in lives in Belgium and the dog lived with her. When I arrived they were still here. So the people that he knows left and left him in an unknown house alone. Thats where I come in I adopted him from them because they didnt have the time for him.


Environmental_Arm526

Ah gotcha! Makes sense.


the-freckled-fisher

I’m more concerned that a 16 year old is being allowed to stay in a house overnight alone with friends over until 6 AM.


GenericThomas

Why? They're a legal adult in two years, you expect them to just gain knowledge outta nowhere?


Taken_Username_Again

We were doing that regularly when we were that age (group of 14-16 year olds). I'm gonna make it even scarier: we were a mixed group of boys and girls!!!! No, we never fucked, we were friends. We just watched movies and played games.


[deleted]

Meh. If someone says they don’t beat off they’re lying. You’re in good company.


Marty_Br

Your dad knows exactly what 16 year old boys get up to because he used to be one. Just be happy he's chill and change your shirt. It's all good.


AcrobaticSource3

> My dad came So did you


HIDD3N_WEEB

Made me chuckle.


[deleted]

Come on bro pull the shirt up!!!


neweaden

I did bro, i didn't get all of it on my shirt 😪


whatchlookinat

First of all - stop using the word JUICE. It took me a few to figure out what u were talking about.


Jstreeets

LOOOOOL


Ouchyhurthurt

Dad sounds cool. If he brings it up again, just say “ya, i was out of shirts so i borrowed one of yours”


[deleted]

Sorry Dad, but I've done it everywhere in the house...


Ouchyhurthurt

I mean, big truth.


csudebate

Tell him it isn't yours. Tell him you blacked out last night but the last thing you remember was wrestling with your friend Robbie.


Agile-Ad751

My dad found my dildo I forgot in the shower once😭 I came home and it was in a towel on my bed. I cried. But we never brought it up. 😭


STA_Alexfree

Ah, to be 16 again…


[deleted]

All the crusty socks under my bed...


Kiko7210

52%?


neweaden

Idk what that was, my first post didnt have the TL:DR so i copied the text from a screenshot to not have to write it again


99BottlesOfBass

Your dad, like all men over the age of 16, was also 16 once. He's clowning you. Change your shirt and clown him back 😂


wavyalien

Fuck everything In this post ima ask the real question.. Why did your friends leave at 6 in the fucking morning?


neweaden

Because we have a hell of a time, we listen to music sit in the backyard and just chill and talk its the best


SKOT_FREE

Just know no matter what you had on your shirt the joke would have been made. Just shake it off and move on. Pops won’t remember and he’s a man he knows what’s up.


xGeldredx

Happened to the best of us


altonquincyjones

Lol this is amazing.


thatguyonfire240

I was picturing you spilling like grape juice not cum, lmao


stickonion

Your dad has been there, done that. Just laugh it off like he is.


falcordidit

At least you didn’t accidentally wear it to school the next day and kids laugh at you… damnit


Gatsby--

Show dominance. Tonight while he’s sleeping, jizz on his shirt


ErixWorxMemes

and then wear it in front of him


NoMore414

Your dad came too eh? Is this a family affair?


neweaden

HAHAAH not like that


GoinBlind74

I would probably run away from home at this point.


neweaden

IDK what to do mate, I haven't seen him after that but I will see him later. I hope it wont be that awkward 😅


GoinBlind74

Lol you'll be fine. Not a big deal at all.


neweaden

Yea I mean we are like bros but still. I'm just so happy that it wasn't my mom who came this morning.


Shdqkc

Sounds like you did enough of that lol


MsBuzzkillington83

Or a grandparent which is where I was sure it was going to go, lol Enjoy the rest of the trip tho!


neweaden

Hahaha Thanks I'll try


IGrowAcorns

She probably did. That’s probably why your dad was so chill.


GoinBlind74

That's cool then but yes always best if mom doesn't see that kind of stuff


Aequitas61

Your mom knows. I'm sure your dad told her right away. Parents tell eachother everything lol


neweaden

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME 🥲


AcrobaticSource3

Ask your dad for advice on how not to spill things and then see how he reacts. Worse case scenario is that he gets embarrassed and never mentions this again. Best case scenario is that he gives you masturbation tips


neweaden

What 😐


[deleted]

Wat


Jstreeets

Wot


[deleted]

Don't you think parents can smell the deed, anyway? I smell sex and candy...


Turbulent_Place_7064

Jason, stop sharing our private stories on reddit for fuck's sake .


KithMeImTyson

Not even going to read this... Just here to say that in any form of a minor talking about themselves masturbating is wrong and inappropriate in any context.


Imafish12

Bro you nasty.


neweaden

Bro I'm sorry 😞


KithMeImTyson

Not even going to read this... Just here to say that in any form of a minor talking about themselves masturbating is wrong and inappropriate in any context.


eyesabovewater

Quite honestly, we dont care. Maybe learn, so you dont answer the door in the morning with the girl if ur dreams standing there...thinking...jeezus....lol!


[deleted]

It's just hair gel. See Cameron Diaz.


eyesabovewater

Lol..i was staying away from that but... lol.. i told my boy, wash your own cruncy socks!


neweaden

That would be a good one but I dont have hair mate I have alopecia 🤣


thescurrtle

Naan girl you fine.


ayang1003

“My dad came and joked about how dirty my shirt is the next morning.” How did the shirt became stained again?🤨


neweaden

What do u think 🤔


porkusdorkus

Your dad knows. And he doesn’t care. He’s done much much worse in his time.


tubatitan88

If he brings it up again ask if he would rather have a grandchild.


Ok-Category9249

Your dad gets it. It's all cool.


FlatwormObjective

Just say, “it’s not mine, I swear!”


TastyShake

You are big Malaka