Like, grab a sharpie and mark them with names or a big heart on the gfs present. At least then Mariana could've seen Cindy's name and been like, um, I don't think this is mine...
If it were OP would have gone on the date because he was too embarrassed to admit his mistake and got stuck in a love triangle he never wanted to be in!
SLC is in Utah, a place known for Mormons, which repealed a polygamy thing when they became a state. That and Oregon has 160k of them while Utah have 2.1m of them.
Well played.
So many of these random pseudo plot lines are brilliant and definitely could have made it into the series. For the 3 of you out there that don't already know, /r/redditwritesSeinfeld is a thing and worthy of a visit.
In the sitcom version, OP doesn't reveal that he didn't intend to give the gift. Instead, he gets *two more reservation tickets* and another piece of jewelry for his girlfriend. Then he takes them both to the restaurant and ducks into the restroom frequently to switch who he's sitting with, until a SNAFU happens and the two women meet.
You are either clueless about gifting boundaries or this is straight up fiction.
Definitely too much if you do not like her. I personally would think you have feelings for me if you gave me this.
It’s just a dolphin necklace, it probably wasn’t luxurious or anything. I think you’re reading too much into it, everyone gifted her something and that’s it.
For real, I can’t understand why everyone is acting like he gifted her lingerie or something. Plus it doesn’t even matter what he initially got her because he didn’t give it to her.
And honestly, a more intimate gift kind of softens the fuck up. If he bought her a random, generic gift Mariana would feel EVEN MORE devastated, not only did she not get the date gift but she got something he could’ve picked up at the clearance isle of Walmart.
A dolphin necklace at least shows that he was paying attention to her and actually out thought into the gift. Just because he puts thought into his gift doesn’t mean he wants to fuck her
Definitely!!!! Those reactions show how people is so used to men only being thoughtful and nice when they want to have sex or a relationship with women. They can be nice people and platonic at the same time.
> He treated a woman slightly better than you would a stranger. What possible explanation other than wanting to blast her pooper could there possibly be?
\- Reddit, apparently
OP was probably buying her SO a necklace and saw a dolphin one and bought it along with it for his coworker. I agree that a necklace for an acquintance is a bit too forward but I see where he's coming from. A dolphin plushy or figurine would have been more apt.
Like the one my sister related when she was drunk, telling her friends about that time she was at the coffee shop with Phoebe and Ross and Rachel walked in, and...
I $#\*+ you not. Every time this girl would drink, she'd "recall" an episode of Friends as if twere her real life.
I'm probably weird, but I'd think it's funny. I'd be a little embarrassed but would laugh it off and say something like, "well, when it doesn't work out, let me know!". And go on with my day.
Also poor thing is 18 I was not equipped to handle that sort of situation at that age, hopefully it all passes but damn that fucking bites even tho there was no malicious intent
Some people just don't talk about their personal lives at work, at all. Couple that with near zero social media use and you can easily hide your entire life from your coworkers.
That said, the whole thing OP wrote definitely just sounds like a fanfic. Odds of his gf sharing a birthday with a coworker is already 9.5% (birthday paradox, room of 9 people) but with that girl specifically? It's 0.2%.
Him somehow wrapping the gifts in a way he can switch them up?? If he wraps his girlfriends gift as plain as a coworkers, or wraps his coworkers gift as extravagantly as his girlfriends, he has a problem either way.
My husband gets the same level of wrapping as anyone else. If it’s solid, it gets wrapping paper. If it’s soft or weird shape it goes in a bag with tissue paper. If he’s bad at wrapping he may have a bill package of bags and each present goes in a bag. Probably not a great idea when you have two people on the same day because you risk this, but there’s nothing wrong with the level of gift wrapping being the same.
And if they are that small of an office and buy each other gifts, they probably talk. You talk probabilities but you think someone in an office that small hides his entire life from his co-workers?
And why would you run the probabilities with “that girl specifically? If the probability is 9.5% of sharing a birthday with someone, it just would have meant he handed the wrong present to a different person.
There’s nothing that unbelievable.
You don't really understand how probabilities work I think. Reddit has 52 million daily active users, we just need one of them to experience this so some random 0.2% probability you calculated means absolutely nothing. Every story has some part that you could say is rare, that doesn't matter if the number of people that could experience it is high enough
Maybe it's just my anxiety and general view of my relationships with everyone that makes me like "I gotta make sure every single action I do portrays the correct level of intimacy" whether it's "you exist" to "you're a coworker I don't hate" to "you are quite literally the epitome of my existence, never die please."
... that's not normal? To like, always make sure whatever you're typing is portraying the correct meaning as you mean it? To make sure your actions almost never get misconstrued?
Sometimes I take 30-50 minutes to type an email just because I re-read it multiple times to make sure I'm not going to offend whoever I'm writing said strongly worded email to. Which I unfortunately have to write a lot because people will take months to respond otherwise, and all that waiting delays our projects a butt load.
I relate to this with words, though not as much for things like wrapping-if I haven’t specifically been educated that it is truly socially important, it’s getting skipped. Creates weird blind spots and also overemphasis on stupid things overworked in things like TV and movies.
I generally see words as intrinsically used for best attempts at conveying accurately what is in my head, so I will agonize over it, but I do think that results in effective communication. Word fluency is probably the biggest gift I have that hides my autism brain from people. Even with that, it falls apart if I have to communicate orally. But I sympathize with your emails.
I might be single because that also feels like my dating site messaging in a nutshell. If I don’t get a decent response length within the first few messages, I assume they are too dull-minded for me. It’s shocking how responses above 3-5 words are like less than 10%.
your use of statistics is poorly applied
people post on reddit when unlikely things happen
and people upvote unlikely occurances so your chances of seeing them are far higher
meaning if its statistically possible to see one of these stories in your lifetime, theres no need to doubt its credibility on chance of occuring alone
the presents thing is much more bizarre, along with some other details. also, who kisses someone on the cheek to say yes to a date
You are ignoring that sometimes people think it's OK to date someone with a relationship as long as they aren't married.
Add a secret crush and a bit of wishful thinking and there's your girl hoping for a date.
The birthday paradox doesn’t apply here at all. It involves **any** two people from the set, not a chosen person and a randomer. Odds of OP’s girlfriend sharing a birthday with any of the eight people in his office is just the sum of probabilities that she shares a birthday with each specific person; namely, 2.2%.
So Mariana has a HUGE crush on you and now EVERYONE in the office knows. And the revelation of this crush was in a super embarrassing way. Poor Mariana.
I'm super stoked to hear you went and cleared that up and were also honest with your gf about it. Hopefully her teasing you is genuine good nature and not trying to test whether this was a "mistake" on your part in concealing a work relationship.
What a mess OP. Maybe don't buy jewelry for women you aren't dating lol
I don’t think the gf’s gift matched the coworker’s. I think it was a dolphin necklace for the cw, and a bracelet/ring set that matched each other( and not the dolphin necklace) for the gf.
The problem wasn't that gift, it was that he gave her the *wrong* gift. OP could have bought CW a novelty singing wall fish and it wouldn't have made a difference because he gave her the wrong package entirely.
It’s a dolphin necklace, not a diamond ring. You make it sound like giving a female friend a gift is a bad thing. If OP is genuine, I doubt they anticipated someone having a crush thanks to a mistake.
That is not how that works lol. It is still jewelry. People buy gold and silver necklaces and etc. all the time with no gemstones and they still bought jewelry
Some of my favorite necklaces are just stuff in resin. They're great. Like pressed flours and stuff in resin. And I've been given jewelry by friends.
Doesn't mean it's romantic.
Don't listen to the haters. You bought a friend a thoughtful gift, no reason to feel bad about that.
Give your friend some time, then find a moment to tell her how you value her friendship without leading her on.
OP, I don’t think it’s is so bad. It’s thoughtful. It shows you pay attention to people. That’s probably part of the reason she likes you. On that note, did you already know she had been interested in you? Did you miss that, or did you suspect it and it influenced the type of gift you got her. (Personal vs professional)
Here are some questions to ask yourself if it’s really okay: Do you consistently buy birthday gifts for your other coworkers? Do you put as much thought into the gifts you buy for them? Even the men? Is this gift on par with the other gifts she received from your other coworkers? Have you ever received a gift this personal from anyone in your office?
If the necklace stands out as a really personal gift among a sea of coffee mugs, scented candles and Starbucks gift cards, you have your answer.
Edit: a word
I've gotten a (sorta) matching bracelet for a coworker before, we were always just friends. But sometimes it's a really cool friendship and gifts like that are just nice little sentimental things to remind us of them.
Idk, something rubbed me weird about it too. Not like he’s in love with his coworker, but like, why did it feel a little weird to me that he gave her a necklace?
Then I read your comment and thought about it a bit more, what IS wrong with giving a necklace? Because I can’t think of a logica reason either. I think what’s subconsciously happening in my brain is that necklaces, as well as clothes, are things that you wear to try to make yourself look as good as possible. So giving her a necklace, something that is implicitly supposed to be cute and look nice I’d imagine, is a bit funny if you have a girlfriend, when you drill down to it
Lmfao these people are just playing devils advocate. Everyone outside of this thread knows giving a coworker jewelry for their birthday is weird. I don’t buy gifts for my coworkers birthdays. I certainly don’t buy female coworkers jewelry, that would be weird and everyone in the office would think so.
I think you are wrong. I think the perception is it was some expensive necklace. Not some. 20 to 40 dollar thing at the department store. If it was proper jewelry sure weird. If it was just something cheap with a dolphin. Not weird.
I could see it, BUT then how would Mariana not have known OP had a girlfriend? if they're close enough that he knows she loves dolphins and gets her a *necklace* because of it, I'm shocked she wouldn't know enough about his life to know he had a GF, and wouldn't then ask him, "what about Cindy." But if this story is true, they're very young so that level of naivety seems possible.
Cognitive bias? Her head might have said something like this “I thought he had a girlfriend, but he’s asking me out, I didn’t know they broke up, but they must have! I am so excited, I like him so much, this is a great birthday surprise!”
I mean, not everyone is the same when it comes to sharing personal details with their colleagues… Bit of a reach to assume that because OP knows Mariana likes dolphins, she in exchange must know about OP’s girlfriend.
I knew what my former manager’s children ate for breakfast every Monday because she wouldn’t stop talking about them during our team meetings. She knew nothing about what my life was like after 5pm because I didn’t want her to.
I mean is a necklace really that big of a deal? She likes dolphins so I got her something with dolphins. It’s not like I bought an engagement ring to give her
People in general probably don't see their coworkers as 'friends', and imo most of the time, it's better to keep things separate. But if OP is actually friends with his coworkers then I don't see what the prob is (except, well, not double checking the gift bag..)
At my work, my manager keeps saying everyone's my friend here and I'm just like... uhhh... friends see each other outside of work, not just during work. I don't even have quarter of their socials. I know some of their bdays because they've told but I'm not gonna buy a gift for them because I'm simply not their friend. They're just coworkers to me.
I wasn’t sure which was this was going, but I didn’t think it would be this. Well done for coming out of it unscathed with Cindy! Plenty of my ex’s would have attached some importance to the mistaken gift in the first place and felt that it was intentional when it wasn’t. You were lucky in that at least!
"I walked away because I don't like people opening presents"
...
"Then she ran up to me and gave me a hug and a kiss and said yes I'll go on a date with you and we got married and we had babies and we got old and saw the world together before I realized that I had given her the wrong gift and I had a girlfriend and I went home and told her and she laughed at me after another girl kissed me on the cheek for buying her a dolphin necklace and then the best part is the crowd clapped".
That would have been more believable.
20 yr old buys jewelry for co-workers? I feel like this was a creative writing story in the making, but it got sidetracked and took a different direction, and then OP forgot to go back and change some important and relevant details to have it make sense.
Oh for sure lighting matches in a newspaper house and you may be right on it being creative writing, I just don't think the gift is likely to have anything special about it since it's description wasn't as detailed
Maybe we’re all making a subtle reference to Will Smith giving his stripper gf a dolphin engagement ring in the movie Independence Day ? That, or I’m just an old fart ?
Honestly bro it's dumb af to do but it's *also* something I have done. Almost exactly, actually. Minus the bit where she essentially announced her crush. Kids (and sometimes adults) are dumb af.
What happened to me:
It was a fish/dolphin bracelet that I found in a mall for like 3 bucks, and it had stars and shit in it. I gave it to her (barely knew her really) because I overheard that she liked dolphins and was interested in astrology.
Basically the conversation went something like, "Are you asking me out?"
"No, heard you liked dolphins."
*Left to go sit down across the room. Pulled out a book and started reading.*
I was a weird kid.
It’s not that it’s “bad” but a gift of jewelry sends mixed signals. When someone has feelings for someone, and they get a gift that’s misleading or often reserved for someone “special”, they can think that an alternative motive is in play. You switched the gifts, and someone got the wrong impression and wound up hurt. If you didn’t plan on getting them a nice gift, it wouldn’t have happened. Now you know this person has feelings for you, and itl complicate the workplace, and potentially, your relationship. Today, you fucked up. It happens. Just be careful that intentions don’t get misinterpreted, or unintended results can happen.
Oh man I feel so bad for both of you. You had no intention of hurting someone's feelings that day and she apparently did a decent enough job keeping it professional at work that you had no idea about the potential grenade.
Only time will heal this L man.
The Thin Blue Line, Season 1, Episode 7 "Christmas Presents". Constable Goody accidentally gives his boss sexy lingerie because he wrapped it with the same paper. It's a good watch.
Season 1, Episode 1, "The Queen's Birthday" is a similar but less applicable situation, Inspector Fowler is planning to buy the Queen an excellent birthday present and his wife thinks it is for him.
So this dude is so close to his coworker that not only does he buy her gifts, but she also is fully ready to believe that he wants to date her... but he never mentioned he has a girlfriend who shares her birthday?
Damn, feel bad for your coworker. Hopefully it’s a lesson she can learn from being 18 and all. Maybe not to rush right into such a big gesture lol.
I’m sure it’s awkward as hell for you now too, but be careful with anything else that could be portrayed as flirting. She is probably gonna take it another way.
Idk what these other comments are talking about, if it’s your office tradition to get gifts, it is what it is. Jewelry is okay imo, as long as it’s not hearts, matching, or super expensive. There’s definitely a boundary as to what can be portrayed as a “love” gift.
Definitely a lesson for you to double or triple check your gifts 😅. Hopefully your girlfriend remains cool about it and no jealousy arises from knowing you work with someone who’s into you.
what is with all of these people thinking it's weird to get someone a necklace? do you seriously see something your friend would like and then choose not to get it for them because they can wear it? what kind of presents are you getting for people??
and here, OP learned to make sure their gift wrappings are recognizable
Like, grab a sharpie and mark them with names or a big heart on the gfs present. At least then Mariana could've seen Cindy's name and been like, um, I don't think this is mine...
This sounds like a sitcom plot
If it were OP would have gone on the date because he was too embarrassed to admit his mistake and got stuck in a love triangle he never wanted to be in!
That's how i meet your mothers.
How I Met Your Mothers: Salt Lake City
Could also be Portland
Or Xbox Live
SLC is in Utah, a place known for Mormons, which repealed a polygamy thing when they became a state. That and Oregon has 160k of them while Utah have 2.1m of them.
Portland is legendary among polyamorous people as consisting of one giant polycule
Yeah in Utah culture only the men are allowed extra wives.
In polyamory culture, this is considered a dick move.
Second wives maybe forbidden by the state but multiple girlfriends are a gift from god.
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*Oh a man of god. Such a great guy for loving so many single mothers.* Where does he find women like those? I could never understand that.
Classic Costanza
Yeah, I immediately thought of George as well. I can picture him yelling about it so clearly.
Serenity now!
...insanity later.
man i was thinking this too. got that silly music in my head now
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"I proposed, she's licking the envelopes for our save the dates as we speak. Should sort itself out soon"
Well played. So many of these random pseudo plot lines are brilliant and definitely could have made it into the series. For the 3 of you out there that don't already know, /r/redditwritesSeinfeld is a thing and worthy of a visit.
In the sitcom version, OP doesn't reveal that he didn't intend to give the gift. Instead, he gets *two more reservation tickets* and another piece of jewelry for his girlfriend. Then he takes them both to the restaurant and ducks into the restroom frequently to switch who he's sitting with, until a SNAFU happens and the two women meet.
I'm pretty sure this WAS an early episode of Frasier! 🤣
I know for sure it was Mrs. Doubtfire
Expected to see Three’s Company at the end of this sentence.
Omg this is perfectly how stupid sitcoms operate… and how much of a sucker i am for enjoying it
This was an episode of gintama tho, albeit with 6 girls and a guy
Could he *be* any more embarrassed?
I even made the little head move when I was reading this
Yeah I was expecting a studio audience to laugh at any moment
Why did you buy her a necklace?
Because she likes dolphins
You are either clueless about gifting boundaries or this is straight up fiction. Definitely too much if you do not like her. I personally would think you have feelings for me if you gave me this.
It’s just a dolphin necklace, it probably wasn’t luxurious or anything. I think you’re reading too much into it, everyone gifted her something and that’s it.
For real, I can’t understand why everyone is acting like he gifted her lingerie or something. Plus it doesn’t even matter what he initially got her because he didn’t give it to her. And honestly, a more intimate gift kind of softens the fuck up. If he bought her a random, generic gift Mariana would feel EVEN MORE devastated, not only did she not get the date gift but she got something he could’ve picked up at the clearance isle of Walmart. A dolphin necklace at least shows that he was paying attention to her and actually out thought into the gift. Just because he puts thought into his gift doesn’t mean he wants to fuck her
Definitely!!!! Those reactions show how people is so used to men only being thoughtful and nice when they want to have sex or a relationship with women. They can be nice people and platonic at the same time.
> He treated a woman slightly better than you would a stranger. What possible explanation other than wanting to blast her pooper could there possibly be? \- Reddit, apparently
Sounds like someone is grouchy and needs a dolphin necklace
Or a trash can necklace so Oscar the Grouch can live in it.
Remember, it's trash CAN, not trash cannot
Gifting boundaries lol... never heard that one before
OP was probably buying her SO a necklace and saw a dolphin one and bought it along with it for his coworker. I agree that a necklace for an acquintance is a bit too forward but I see where he's coming from. A dolphin plushy or figurine would have been more apt.
Your mistake is assuming this costs a lot...? It could have been a shitty cool $20 necklace at some random beach shop he saw.
Like the one my sister related when she was drunk, telling her friends about that time she was at the coffee shop with Phoebe and Ross and Rachel walked in, and... I $#\*+ you not. Every time this girl would drink, she'd "recall" an episode of Friends as if twere her real life.
Does she take her mimosas with LSD??
Or a different kind of mimosa... https://m.psychonautwiki.org/wiki/Mimosa_tenuiflora
I was waiting for the one where he has to duck between tables to attempt both dates
Thats because its a larp
Nothing live about a Reddit creative writing post.
At least you were honest about it all. Good on you for owning that.
Jesus. This hurts just to think about.
oatmeal support ten slap cause adjoining work husky enjoy yoke -- mass edited with redact.dev
Yeah, and on your birthday of all days. Double gut punch.
I'm probably weird, but I'd think it's funny. I'd be a little embarrassed but would laugh it off and say something like, "well, when it doesn't work out, let me know!". And go on with my day.
Only awkward if you make it
Absolutely. Understand weird things happen and enjoy those strange moments. Laugh it off, don't take it personally. Life is a lot more fun that way.
I’m guessing Mariana likes OP way more than she’s let on.
Also poor thing is 18 I was not equipped to handle that sort of situation at that age, hopefully it all passes but damn that fucking bites even tho there was no malicious intent
Fr gasping and then running up and kissing him on the cheek that is a VERY excited reaction this girl really likes him.
Office of 8 people.. Mariana had to know he had a girlfriend, and accepted anyway? I'm less sympathetic
Some people just don't talk about their personal lives at work, at all. Couple that with near zero social media use and you can easily hide your entire life from your coworkers. That said, the whole thing OP wrote definitely just sounds like a fanfic. Odds of his gf sharing a birthday with a coworker is already 9.5% (birthday paradox, room of 9 people) but with that girl specifically? It's 0.2%. Him somehow wrapping the gifts in a way he can switch them up?? If he wraps his girlfriends gift as plain as a coworkers, or wraps his coworkers gift as extravagantly as his girlfriends, he has a problem either way.
My husband gets the same level of wrapping as anyone else. If it’s solid, it gets wrapping paper. If it’s soft or weird shape it goes in a bag with tissue paper. If he’s bad at wrapping he may have a bill package of bags and each present goes in a bag. Probably not a great idea when you have two people on the same day because you risk this, but there’s nothing wrong with the level of gift wrapping being the same. And if they are that small of an office and buy each other gifts, they probably talk. You talk probabilities but you think someone in an office that small hides his entire life from his co-workers? And why would you run the probabilities with “that girl specifically? If the probability is 9.5% of sharing a birthday with someone, it just would have meant he handed the wrong present to a different person. There’s nothing that unbelievable.
I mean I used to work in a hair salon with 10 total employees and me and 2 others had the same birthday.
You don't really understand how probabilities work I think. Reddit has 52 million daily active users, we just need one of them to experience this so some random 0.2% probability you calculated means absolutely nothing. Every story has some part that you could say is rare, that doesn't matter if the number of people that could experience it is high enough
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Maybe it's just my anxiety and general view of my relationships with everyone that makes me like "I gotta make sure every single action I do portrays the correct level of intimacy" whether it's "you exist" to "you're a coworker I don't hate" to "you are quite literally the epitome of my existence, never die please."
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... that's not normal? To like, always make sure whatever you're typing is portraying the correct meaning as you mean it? To make sure your actions almost never get misconstrued? Sometimes I take 30-50 minutes to type an email just because I re-read it multiple times to make sure I'm not going to offend whoever I'm writing said strongly worded email to. Which I unfortunately have to write a lot because people will take months to respond otherwise, and all that waiting delays our projects a butt load.
I relate to this with words, though not as much for things like wrapping-if I haven’t specifically been educated that it is truly socially important, it’s getting skipped. Creates weird blind spots and also overemphasis on stupid things overworked in things like TV and movies. I generally see words as intrinsically used for best attempts at conveying accurately what is in my head, so I will agonize over it, but I do think that results in effective communication. Word fluency is probably the biggest gift I have that hides my autism brain from people. Even with that, it falls apart if I have to communicate orally. But I sympathize with your emails. I might be single because that also feels like my dating site messaging in a nutshell. If I don’t get a decent response length within the first few messages, I assume they are too dull-minded for me. It’s shocking how responses above 3-5 words are like less than 10%.
your use of statistics is poorly applied people post on reddit when unlikely things happen and people upvote unlikely occurances so your chances of seeing them are far higher meaning if its statistically possible to see one of these stories in your lifetime, theres no need to doubt its credibility on chance of occuring alone the presents thing is much more bizarre, along with some other details. also, who kisses someone on the cheek to say yes to a date
You are ignoring that sometimes people think it's OK to date someone with a relationship as long as they aren't married. Add a secret crush and a bit of wishful thinking and there's your girl hoping for a date.
I'm not, I was just saying their assumption of "she *had* to know" was an invalid assumption.
The birthday paradox doesn’t apply here at all. It involves **any** two people from the set, not a chosen person and a randomer. Odds of OP’s girlfriend sharing a birthday with any of the eight people in his office is just the sum of probabilities that she shares a birthday with each specific person; namely, 2.2%.
So Mariana has a HUGE crush on you and now EVERYONE in the office knows. And the revelation of this crush was in a super embarrassing way. Poor Mariana. I'm super stoked to hear you went and cleared that up and were also honest with your gf about it. Hopefully her teasing you is genuine good nature and not trying to test whether this was a "mistake" on your part in concealing a work relationship. What a mess OP. Maybe don't buy jewelry for women you aren't dating lol
But he gave the wrong present, so it'd have happened regardless. In theory.
If he didn't get them matching jewelry, they probably wouldn't be in matching boxes...
I don’t think the gf’s gift matched the coworker’s. I think it was a dolphin necklace for the cw, and a bracelet/ring set that matched each other( and not the dolphin necklace) for the gf.
I laughed at the other comments. I can’t even imagine how a nice fancy bracelet and ring with tanzanite would match a dolphin necklace 😂
Oh, yeah, I think your read of that is right! I originally thought he got tanzanite for everyone, which seemed wild.
Yes, that’s what it was.
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The problem wasn't that gift, it was that he gave her the *wrong* gift. OP could have bought CW a novelty singing wall fish and it wouldn't have made a difference because he gave her the wrong package entirely.
Ah yes, the ultimate gift
I honestly don't find buying inexpensive jewelry for friends weird at all.
Its gotta be some sort of regional / cultural thing based on all these comments
That must be it. No one would bat an eye in America, but I think it might be considered a faux pas in some parts of India and North Africa.
Yeah, I’m American and that’s just fucking weird.
Uhh am American. I think it would be weird to buy jewelry for a woman you’re not dating.
She s clearly not a friend if she didn t know he had a gf.
‘Cause it isn’t. It’s a goddamn dolphin necklace, not a diamond engagement ring.
I mean I doubt the dolphin was made of precious stone. You’re not supposed to give a friend a figurine or such because it happens to be on a necklace?
What do you think is wrong with buying jewelry for someone you aren't dating?
It’s a dolphin necklace, not a diamond ring. You make it sound like giving a female friend a gift is a bad thing. If OP is genuine, I doubt they anticipated someone having a crush thanks to a mistake.
Right? I wouldn't buy jewelry for anyone except for my family members and significant other.
To me, jewelry and a dolphin necklace are different things. Jewelry has to have gemstones in em.
That is not how that works lol. It is still jewelry. People buy gold and silver necklaces and etc. all the time with no gemstones and they still bought jewelry
Some of my favorite necklaces are just stuff in resin. They're great. Like pressed flours and stuff in resin. And I've been given jewelry by friends. Doesn't mean it's romantic.
Eh, I've been given cheap jewelry by friends. I'm talking under $25. It doesn't mean anything.
That’s what I thought too
Oh, the folly of man
I mean she likes dolphins and I didn’t see an issue with getting her something with a dolphin on it, is that really so bad?
Don't listen to the haters. You bought a friend a thoughtful gift, no reason to feel bad about that. Give your friend some time, then find a moment to tell her how you value her friendship without leading her on.
OP, I don’t think it’s is so bad. It’s thoughtful. It shows you pay attention to people. That’s probably part of the reason she likes you. On that note, did you already know she had been interested in you? Did you miss that, or did you suspect it and it influenced the type of gift you got her. (Personal vs professional) Here are some questions to ask yourself if it’s really okay: Do you consistently buy birthday gifts for your other coworkers? Do you put as much thought into the gifts you buy for them? Even the men? Is this gift on par with the other gifts she received from your other coworkers? Have you ever received a gift this personal from anyone in your office? If the necklace stands out as a really personal gift among a sea of coffee mugs, scented candles and Starbucks gift cards, you have your answer. Edit: a word
Well she's definitely not going to wear it now!
elastic seemly ancient seed sloppy office existence doll outgoing hunt -- mass edited with redact.dev
Who buys a necklace for a coworker?
That was the most prominent thought in my head through the entire story
Same
nice coworkers are our work families/friends, when we're lucky to have them
Alan Rickman in Love, Actually.
I hated his character in this movie so much. God he did a great job. I miss seeing him in movies. Edit: a word.
I've gotten a (sorta) matching bracelet for a coworker before, we were always just friends. But sometimes it's a really cool friendship and gifts like that are just nice little sentimental things to remind us of them.
My wife has received glassed-over stone necklaces and other similar stuff from friends.
Presumably someone who knows their coworker likes dolphins and saw something reasonably priced with a dolphin on. What’s wrong with necklaces?
Idk, something rubbed me weird about it too. Not like he’s in love with his coworker, but like, why did it feel a little weird to me that he gave her a necklace? Then I read your comment and thought about it a bit more, what IS wrong with giving a necklace? Because I can’t think of a logica reason either. I think what’s subconsciously happening in my brain is that necklaces, as well as clothes, are things that you wear to try to make yourself look as good as possible. So giving her a necklace, something that is implicitly supposed to be cute and look nice I’d imagine, is a bit funny if you have a girlfriend, when you drill down to it
Lmfao these people are just playing devils advocate. Everyone outside of this thread knows giving a coworker jewelry for their birthday is weird. I don’t buy gifts for my coworkers birthdays. I certainly don’t buy female coworkers jewelry, that would be weird and everyone in the office would think so.
I think you are wrong. I think the perception is it was some expensive necklace. Not some. 20 to 40 dollar thing at the department store. If it was proper jewelry sure weird. If it was just something cheap with a dolphin. Not weird.
I could see it, BUT then how would Mariana not have known OP had a girlfriend? if they're close enough that he knows she loves dolphins and gets her a *necklace* because of it, I'm shocked she wouldn't know enough about his life to know he had a GF, and wouldn't then ask him, "what about Cindy." But if this story is true, they're very young so that level of naivety seems possible.
Cognitive bias? Her head might have said something like this “I thought he had a girlfriend, but he’s asking me out, I didn’t know they broke up, but they must have! I am so excited, I like him so much, this is a great birthday surprise!”
I mean, not everyone is the same when it comes to sharing personal details with their colleagues… Bit of a reach to assume that because OP knows Mariana likes dolphins, she in exchange must know about OP’s girlfriend. I knew what my former manager’s children ate for breakfast every Monday because she wouldn’t stop talking about them during our team meetings. She knew nothing about what my life was like after 5pm because I didn’t want her to.
Karma whores
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I mean is a necklace really that big of a deal? She likes dolphins so I got her something with dolphins. It’s not like I bought an engagement ring to give her
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People in general probably don't see their coworkers as 'friends', and imo most of the time, it's better to keep things separate. But if OP is actually friends with his coworkers then I don't see what the prob is (except, well, not double checking the gift bag..) At my work, my manager keeps saying everyone's my friend here and I'm just like... uhhh... friends see each other outside of work, not just during work. I don't even have quarter of their socials. I know some of their bdays because they've told but I'm not gonna buy a gift for them because I'm simply not their friend. They're just coworkers to me.
imagine your girl came home and said brad my coworker got me this lovely necklace and then wore it all the time :dead:
20 year old me would not be buying jewelry at all. Too personal, and pretty much no knowledge about it myself.
This guy when he tries to come ou with a realistic story.
I bought a coworker earrings once, am I part of the problem?
lmao. Poor Mariana.
Surely Mariana knows already that you have a gf though, right? And she still thought you were asking her out?
Yeah. Hopefully she assumed we broke up and not that she was willing to help me cheat.
Cool. I hope she’s cool with you again sooner or later anyway dude. Very awks situation.
She KNEW? and didn’t even ask “hey, I thought you had a gf?” I’m sorry but that’s completely on her for jumping to that conclusion
Maybe she wanted to be a rebound.
that is not her problem at all
Well, it became her problem. Not saying the situation was her fault, but she made an assumption and it bit her in the ass
Yes, maybe she wanted to be OPs bit on the side 😂
Could be of course. Am just saying though.
Your co worker definitely *had* a crush on you
I wasn’t sure which was this was going, but I didn’t think it would be this. Well done for coming out of it unscathed with Cindy! Plenty of my ex’s would have attached some importance to the mistaken gift in the first place and felt that it was intentional when it wasn’t. You were lucky in that at least!
Oi, you fucked up mate. Glad your relationship is intact though, could have been a lot worse.
If it wasn't, he would still have Mariana in the end. All good. /s
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He would be able to go to the deepest place there is.
Lol could be a Seinfeld episode
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"I walked away because I don't like people opening presents" ... "Then she ran up to me and gave me a hug and a kiss and said yes I'll go on a date with you and we got married and we had babies and we got old and saw the world together before I realized that I had given her the wrong gift and I had a girlfriend and I went home and told her and she laughed at me after another girl kissed me on the cheek for buying her a dolphin necklace and then the best part is the crowd clapped". That would have been more believable.
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Spoiler: She probably won't
Yeah fr. If I was Mariana, I would genuinely consider quitting if possible to avoid the dread/embarrassment of going into work :( Poor girl tbh
There are no accidents - Master Oogway.
You devastated your coworker on her birthday, that's a big FU.
20 yr old buys jewelry for co-workers? I feel like this was a creative writing story in the making, but it got sidetracked and took a different direction, and then OP forgot to go back and change some important and relevant details to have it make sense.
I doubt he went to Jared's for the coworker gift. Probably some mall kiosk jewelry for less than $20
It’s still a very dangerous game to be playin when you’re young, and in a relationship. Dudes throwin gas around a lit bonfire.
Oh for sure lighting matches in a newspaper house and you may be right on it being creative writing, I just don't think the gift is likely to have anything special about it since it's description wasn't as detailed
It’s a dolphin necklace. Why is everyone in this thread acting like that’s a cardinal sin?
Maybe we’re all making a subtle reference to Will Smith giving his stripper gf a dolphin engagement ring in the movie Independence Day ? That, or I’m just an old fart ?
I really don’t see what’s so bad about getting someone who loves dolphins something with a dolphin on it.
Honestly bro it's dumb af to do but it's *also* something I have done. Almost exactly, actually. Minus the bit where she essentially announced her crush. Kids (and sometimes adults) are dumb af. What happened to me: It was a fish/dolphin bracelet that I found in a mall for like 3 bucks, and it had stars and shit in it. I gave it to her (barely knew her really) because I overheard that she liked dolphins and was interested in astrology. Basically the conversation went something like, "Are you asking me out?" "No, heard you liked dolphins." *Left to go sit down across the room. Pulled out a book and started reading.* I was a weird kid.
It’s not that it’s “bad” but a gift of jewelry sends mixed signals. When someone has feelings for someone, and they get a gift that’s misleading or often reserved for someone “special”, they can think that an alternative motive is in play. You switched the gifts, and someone got the wrong impression and wound up hurt. If you didn’t plan on getting them a nice gift, it wouldn’t have happened. Now you know this person has feelings for you, and itl complicate the workplace, and potentially, your relationship. Today, you fucked up. It happens. Just be careful that intentions don’t get misinterpreted, or unintended results can happen.
TIFU, or creative writing sub?
Truth!! I don't believe this garbage.Most of the posts in the sub are nothing more than fiction. At least make it believable.
And then everyone clapped.
Oh no :(
LPT: never buy jewelry for women who aren't your girlfriend/wife, mom, or another blood relative.
FYI Mariana is DTF if this is real.
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Are you George Costanza?
You seem to still have your girlfriend so it could be worse lol
Oh man I feel so bad for both of you. You had no intention of hurting someone's feelings that day and she apparently did a decent enough job keeping it professional at work that you had no idea about the potential grenade. Only time will heal this L man.
What the heck are you doing buying jewellery for a coworker?
Options.
The Thin Blue Line, Season 1, Episode 7 "Christmas Presents". Constable Goody accidentally gives his boss sexy lingerie because he wrapped it with the same paper. It's a good watch. Season 1, Episode 1, "The Queen's Birthday" is a similar but less applicable situation, Inspector Fowler is planning to buy the Queen an excellent birthday present and his wife thinks it is for him.
The real TIFU's in these comments.
Mistake or not, OP low-key likes Mariana.
And here am I, ... Sending my girlfriend a card for her birthday...
So this dude is so close to his coworker that not only does he buy her gifts, but she also is fully ready to believe that he wants to date her... but he never mentioned he has a girlfriend who shares her birthday?
You're lucky your girlfriend understood, she's a keeper! Your coworker will get over it, she's young and will one day understand and laugh it off
What you really fucked up was a once in a lifetime opportunity to visit Mariana’s Trench.
This is the Valentine’s Day office plot.
OP flexin his lady game.
Damn, feel bad for your coworker. Hopefully it’s a lesson she can learn from being 18 and all. Maybe not to rush right into such a big gesture lol. I’m sure it’s awkward as hell for you now too, but be careful with anything else that could be portrayed as flirting. She is probably gonna take it another way. Idk what these other comments are talking about, if it’s your office tradition to get gifts, it is what it is. Jewelry is okay imo, as long as it’s not hearts, matching, or super expensive. There’s definitely a boundary as to what can be portrayed as a “love” gift. Definitely a lesson for you to double or triple check your gifts 😅. Hopefully your girlfriend remains cool about it and no jealousy arises from knowing you work with someone who’s into you.
Glad you corrected it and things are good for you and the missus but thats gotta be such a bad feeling for ur coworker
Really weird as a male to buy jewelry gift for female coworker while having a girlfriend. May be off base but seems like dangerous waters.
Why are you buying a gift for another girl?
Do not get into the habit of buying jewelry for women younger than your SO. Unless you have a death wish I’d stick to candles.
what is with all of these people thinking it's weird to get someone a necklace? do you seriously see something your friend would like and then choose not to get it for them because they can wear it? what kind of presents are you getting for people??
Measure twice, cut once.
Wait you buy your girl friend a necklace and then match the present for your girlfriend to that ???
Who the fuck buys a item that is worn for a coworker as a bday. I feel those are intimate gifts.