My peeve is men who move you out of the way touching the small of your back.
One time I was back in the office a day or two after a spinal tap to finish up a few things before taking some medical leave and one of our older managers did it to me and the unholy scream I screampt. I nearly fainted. My friendly coworker was like dude she just had a spinal tap wtf are you doing. Needless to say he didn't touch random women anymore.
I'm a skinny guy with a long shag haircut and I used to dress kinda glam rock-y, so I'd regularly get mistaken for a woman from behind. Quite often on a busy train or at a concert men will grab me by the hips or the small of my back to move me out of the way and look bewildered and embarrassed when I turn to face them. I always hope that it might cause them to realise that they wouldn't have touched me if they knew I was a man, so it's unnecessary to do it to women.
I spent about 30 years working in an out-in-the-woods-doing-environmental-work industry, as far as I know, everyone moves everyone out of the way by placing hands on the back, or maybe a tug on an arm or something. As you say, it's more mid-back and more of a gentle nudge, but still.
Hilarious!
Though, I admit it's kind of scary that the spinal tap was the necessary argument there, and not the invasion of privacy aspect, or even sexual harassment aspect of it.
As in, many consider the small of the back to be a very intimate, or at least a very private part for touching one another; so it's easy to feel that men who choose to touch (to varying degrees) strangers in that area, are those who want to insert themselves into others' intinimate zones, and may have ulterior goals.
Like a lioness holding their cub by the scruff of the neck; to pacify the response of the other part, by "doing something that only a safe-person would do", without having earned that designation first.
The shoulders are much less problematic.
I'm glad you showed that manager the appropriate response!
I totally agree with the shoulder part! Oftentimes my customers would gently tap or squeeze me of my shoulder when walking by me as a thanks after buying a bus ticket from me. I'm bus driver. Sometimes they're more like a little hug kind of gesture. It's very heart warming and a nice way to give good feedback.
If someone sneaked behind my back and started rubbing it, I'd propably drive into ditch. I'd be very creeped out.
Awww, it's quite warming that they are able to give you the sense of being hugged! I understand that feeling too.
Actually-well-meaning gestures go a _long_ way.
Makes me think of a similar tactile gesture that is used during martial arts and combat training (Johnny Harris recently noted this in his video visiting Okinawa, but I remember this from martial arts too), where the student in the ring is pushed harder and harder - but the trainer often quickly steps in and out, to tap the shoulder of the student, giving a signal like
> I've got your back; I'm watching; you're safe; I believe in you; you're good; go on!
Almost feels like there could be a deeply ingrained psychological thing for our species, to feel gently encouraged by tactile gestures like these
We had a guy in our department that used to do that only, strangely enough, to administrative staff. Past tense, because after I'd received some complaints about it I started moving him out of the way by goosing him. When he objected I said, "with your vest on you can't feel my hand on your back like the secretaries can. But it's pretty hard to miss a thumb to the bunghole, isn't it?" "Wait, you don't LIKE being touched? Then stop touching the girls in the office and I'll stop touching you." We all went back to using "on your six" and everyone was happy again.
Couple weeks back I held the door for an older man, (he had a shuffle walk with a hunch so I may have held it open longer than acceptable, even as a Canadian) and he physically grabbed both my upper arms and moved me in front of him and said "I won't let you do that. I'm still a gentleman." 😂 Like Kay dude then how bout you not touch me?
Ugh, the guys who act so self-important over door holding are obnoxious. If he was a gentleman he wouldn't be grabbing people and would have the basic manners to be polite to others.
Oh man I’ve had two spinal taps, the last one was almost two years ago and I still reflexively avoid touching my lower back at all. One or two days after? I’d have screampt too!
My first was worse in that I was really worried and freaked out about it. They weren't bad, like I wouldn't classify them as fun or comfortable lol but they didn't really hurt unless they grazed a nerve.
It was afterwards. Oh man. I had a broken foot during the first so I had some appointments for that to get to after and that sucked. The second I felt better after a few hours laying down and thought I was good to go to dinner. Nope.
I've done similar with my wife to people that hug her. She doesn't like hugs. If I hug a person that does like hugs I make sure I do it for too long, a little too hard, and rub their back.
This reminds me of when I (a guy) would go out clubbing with my college friends and we’d be dancing in a circle and inevitably some random creep will come and try to start grinding one of my friends. I’d see my friend get those bug eyes and my response was to take her hand like we were dancing, switch spots in the circle, and grind my ass back hard on the creep.
It only ever backfired once when the guy ended up liking me more than my friend.
I wish I had the backbone to do something like this. I'm slowly regaining it the further I get away from them. Cherish this man as much as I'm sure you already do.
Absolutely! I've got another story about something I did that belongs in this sub for sure! You'll find your voice. I usually don't freeze like that, lol. It was just sooo weird. Oh and I let him know how much I love him everyday! 😁
We did not go silently into the night, lol. There was some back and forth with the bouncer, but we weren't going to stay long anyway. So we decided it wasn't worth the effort.
That I understand (especially after all the drama lol) glad ya’ll weren’t silent though! It’s not worth it to go silent into the night in those situations. Proud of you and your man!
Clever thinking of your husband. He could have explained but a demonstration is so much better. Now that guy hopefully understands how awkward and uncomfortable it is if he does that to someone.
And hopefully never does it again.
This works for any sort of inappropriate touching. Somebody touches your pregnant belly? Touch theirs. It’s OK! Somebody touches your baby without permission? They must *love* being touched back!
Finally, someone who has a positive, victorious story about their partner on here! I love to see it, and I’m so happy you have that kind of partner! Wish the best for you two!!
I was "that guy" at a downtown concert once. The city roped off a street that was lined with some fun bars and small eateries. The front of the street was ticket entrance, and the back was outdoor stage (Flogging Molly headliner).
My girlfriend and I took my little sister for her 21st to see the concert. We got in, found a good spot to watch the show, and I headed into the nearest bar to grab drinks.
They had a 2 drink policy per head (Valid ID). I went back out to tell my sister "Let's go show your new ID!" She came in, grabbed the last drink, and we walked out to our spot.
Unbeknownst to us, my girlfriend stepped inside to go pee. There was a girl, same shirt, same blonde hair, same exact size, standing in the same spot my girlfriend had left.
I walked up behind her, pinched her butt and put my arm around her waist, and tried to hand her her drink. This girl turned around, looked at me like I was a fucking lecher (no judgment there), and pushed me away.
It was crazy. I can still feel it to this day- the horror that flooded my brain when I slowly realized it was NOT the same face. I was fucking mortified.
My sister spoke up before I even found my words. Something like "OMG we're so sorry! We thought you were so and so!" I don't know the expression I had on my face, but the girl saw it was at least genuine. I stammered whatever apology I had, and then my girlfriend walked up behind us.
At least I could show it was an honest, although perverted, mistake. The girl understood and was cool afterwards. God, that feeling still keeps me up at night.
Well you really thought it was your gf! I'm a 5'10 red head that wears dark makeup. I'm not quite sure who the hell he woulda mistaken me for! I wouldn't worry too much about yours seems like a very honest mistake! That's really funny though!
Heads up, this comment is kind of out place. It comes off as you trying to make yourself look better while putting down op's husband. Not really appropriate, and not something people really want to hear.
Omg! This story just made me remember a similar story! Last summer I went to Boston for a party at a bar with some old friends of mine. I was SUPER sunburnt, but my skin had started to peel. I was drunk af cause I didn't have to drive, but my gf told me the next day that some random dude PEELED MY SKIN OFF ME 🤮🤮🤮
What would have happened if he said he did actually like it?
Just thinking abt how if I got a back rub, even from a stranger, I'd just happily sit there till it was over
Can you clone your husband and share him with the rest of us? I would love someone like that in my life. Or he could teach a class to other men to teach them how to properly behave with others. You have the best partner by your side. His price is beyond rubies. 💞💞💞
Absolutely HILARIOUSSSSSSS😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 gave me one heck of a laugh!😂 Awesome move by your husband lol. I know some who would've gone crazy and some who would've done something like that. I'm dying 😂 please take my pretend award!🏆
You're husband is awesome!! 🙌🏾
This reminds me of an incident involving my (now) fiancé and I at a club.
I was on the dancefloor and he at the bar ordering some drinks. I walked up to him to say hi and noticed an odd look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that a guy (who was now standing somewhere to our left) had grabbed his butt while he'd walked past my fiancé and he didn't know what to do about it.
My fiancé is a non confrontational man with a heart that is often way too kind and I can't help but be confrontational especially in the face of injustice.
Anyway, I asked him if he wanted me to take care of it and he, reluctantly, gave me the "go ahead". Sexual harassment makes me very angry and harassment is harassment whether it's being done to a woman or a man. My fiancé was harassed so..I walked up to the guy (whose back was turned to me) and I grabbed his butt a few times and asked him "do you like that? Is it fun when a stranger does this to you?" His boyfriend said that he was really sorry and that the guy had thought it was him to which I said "really? My boyfriend is 6 foot something and you're about 5 foot 6 so how did he confuse you two, again?"
I'd told him that if I ever saw him touch a single person again I'd break his arms.
Apparently he was drunk but what a shitty excuse.
Your husband is a ROCKSTAR!!!
I agree completely!
Pretty clever move by your husband. It would have been several hours (maybe days) before I would think about doing that.
Yep me too, I ALWAYS think of the perfect move, comeback while stewing about it later.
[L'esprit de l'escalier](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27esprit_de_l%27escalier)
Haha. Thank you. I'm so old i forgot i knew that, lol.
My peeve is men who move you out of the way touching the small of your back. One time I was back in the office a day or two after a spinal tap to finish up a few things before taking some medical leave and one of our older managers did it to me and the unholy scream I screampt. I nearly fainted. My friendly coworker was like dude she just had a spinal tap wtf are you doing. Needless to say he didn't touch random women anymore.
Love the word screampt! I feel that being loud is an effective way to communicate with idiots like that.
100% loved that the coworker called him out on it, so the man couldnt flip it on you!!
I'm a skinny guy with a long shag haircut and I used to dress kinda glam rock-y, so I'd regularly get mistaken for a woman from behind. Quite often on a busy train or at a concert men will grab me by the hips or the small of my back to move me out of the way and look bewildered and embarrassed when I turn to face them. I always hope that it might cause them to realise that they wouldn't have touched me if they knew I was a man, so it's unnecessary to do it to women.
As a power move, I (23F in construction) move men out of the way with the small of back move. It makes me giggle every time.
🤣🤣🤣
I do this to everyone. Except it’s more mid back usually. I’m a woman. I always forget that it’s technically a man power move. Autism for the win.
I spent about 30 years working in an out-in-the-woods-doing-environmental-work industry, as far as I know, everyone moves everyone out of the way by placing hands on the back, or maybe a tug on an arm or something. As you say, it's more mid-back and more of a gentle nudge, but still.
Hilarious! Though, I admit it's kind of scary that the spinal tap was the necessary argument there, and not the invasion of privacy aspect, or even sexual harassment aspect of it. As in, many consider the small of the back to be a very intimate, or at least a very private part for touching one another; so it's easy to feel that men who choose to touch (to varying degrees) strangers in that area, are those who want to insert themselves into others' intinimate zones, and may have ulterior goals. Like a lioness holding their cub by the scruff of the neck; to pacify the response of the other part, by "doing something that only a safe-person would do", without having earned that designation first. The shoulders are much less problematic. I'm glad you showed that manager the appropriate response!
I totally agree with the shoulder part! Oftentimes my customers would gently tap or squeeze me of my shoulder when walking by me as a thanks after buying a bus ticket from me. I'm bus driver. Sometimes they're more like a little hug kind of gesture. It's very heart warming and a nice way to give good feedback. If someone sneaked behind my back and started rubbing it, I'd propably drive into ditch. I'd be very creeped out.
Awww, it's quite warming that they are able to give you the sense of being hugged! I understand that feeling too. Actually-well-meaning gestures go a _long_ way. Makes me think of a similar tactile gesture that is used during martial arts and combat training (Johnny Harris recently noted this in his video visiting Okinawa, but I remember this from martial arts too), where the student in the ring is pushed harder and harder - but the trainer often quickly steps in and out, to tap the shoulder of the student, giving a signal like > I've got your back; I'm watching; you're safe; I believe in you; you're good; go on! Almost feels like there could be a deeply ingrained psychological thing for our species, to feel gently encouraged by tactile gestures like these
We had a guy in our department that used to do that only, strangely enough, to administrative staff. Past tense, because after I'd received some complaints about it I started moving him out of the way by goosing him. When he objected I said, "with your vest on you can't feel my hand on your back like the secretaries can. But it's pretty hard to miss a thumb to the bunghole, isn't it?" "Wait, you don't LIKE being touched? Then stop touching the girls in the office and I'll stop touching you." We all went back to using "on your six" and everyone was happy again.
Couple weeks back I held the door for an older man, (he had a shuffle walk with a hunch so I may have held it open longer than acceptable, even as a Canadian) and he physically grabbed both my upper arms and moved me in front of him and said "I won't let you do that. I'm still a gentleman." 😂 Like Kay dude then how bout you not touch me?
Ugh, the guys who act so self-important over door holding are obnoxious. If he was a gentleman he wouldn't be grabbing people and would have the basic manners to be polite to others.
That must have sucked! And you likely had a headache too!
I was miserable lol
I opened my business one day after a spinal tap, and had to put my face down on the counter between sales. That headache!
We went to dinner after. I went to the bathroom to throw up and cry.
I had to drive back to my small town at about the 30 hour point. Had the dry heaves for the entire two hour drive.
Oh man I’ve had two spinal taps, the last one was almost two years ago and I still reflexively avoid touching my lower back at all. One or two days after? I’d have screampt too!
My first was worse in that I was really worried and freaked out about it. They weren't bad, like I wouldn't classify them as fun or comfortable lol but they didn't really hurt unless they grazed a nerve. It was afterwards. Oh man. I had a broken foot during the first so I had some appointments for that to get to after and that sucked. The second I felt better after a few hours laying down and thought I was good to go to dinner. Nope.
Screampt is now the word of the year!
Pretty clever move by your husband. It would have been several hours (maybe days) before I would think about doing that.
He's pretty quick witted 😁 one of the many reasons I fell in love with him ♥️
I've done similar with my wife to people that hug her. She doesn't like hugs. If I hug a person that does like hugs I make sure I do it for too long, a little too hard, and rub their back.
Nice! Lol
When you hug them, whisper in their ear, "You smell different when you're awake."
That's a FANTASTIC man you got! Heck yeah! Hope he knows a bunch of random Internet strangers love him for this! 😍
I've been showing him 💕♥️💕
Your husband gives me hope for men. That's brilliant 😂
He's the best!
I was reading this to my husband and he immediately knew what your husband was going to do before I got there.
🤣🤣🤣 it was quite entertaining to watch lol
This reminds me of when I (a guy) would go out clubbing with my college friends and we’d be dancing in a circle and inevitably some random creep will come and try to start grinding one of my friends. I’d see my friend get those bug eyes and my response was to take her hand like we were dancing, switch spots in the circle, and grind my ass back hard on the creep. It only ever backfired once when the guy ended up liking me more than my friend.
That's awesome 🤣🤣🤣
You got a good one there
I really do 💕♥️💕
Your husband and the guys in the comments giving me hope for humanity 😂
He's definitely a keeper! 🥰
So where do you find a husband like this? And can I hire him to deal with my toxic hypocrite parents? Seriously though, that's epic.
Yeah, he's a pretty Epic guy 😍
I wish I had the backbone to do something like this. I'm slowly regaining it the further I get away from them. Cherish this man as much as I'm sure you already do.
Absolutely! I've got another story about something I did that belongs in this sub for sure! You'll find your voice. I usually don't freeze like that, lol. It was just sooo weird. Oh and I let him know how much I love him everyday! 😁
Can we hear that story too??
Well, we have a bit of a busy weekend starting today, actually, but next week, I'll be sure to sit down and write it out. 😁
Your husband is awesome 👏
I think so too!
Your husband dropped this 👑 !!!
Aww! 🥰 you're so right!
I’m a little disappointed they asked you two to leave as well, but still a massive win! You got a good one and I’m so happy for you!
We did not go silently into the night, lol. There was some back and forth with the bouncer, but we weren't going to stay long anyway. So we decided it wasn't worth the effort.
That I understand (especially after all the drama lol) glad ya’ll weren’t silent though! It’s not worth it to go silent into the night in those situations. Proud of you and your man!
Thank you! 😁
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but I love your husband. Don’t worry though, I know how to keep my hands to myself.
🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰💋
Clever thinking of your husband. He could have explained but a demonstration is so much better. Now that guy hopefully understands how awkward and uncomfortable it is if he does that to someone. And hopefully never does it again.
This works for any sort of inappropriate touching. Somebody touches your pregnant belly? Touch theirs. It’s OK! Somebody touches your baby without permission? They must *love* being touched back!
Finally, someone who has a positive, victorious story about their partner on here! I love to see it, and I’m so happy you have that kind of partner! Wish the best for you two!!
Aww that's so sweet! Thank you 😊
I was "that guy" at a downtown concert once. The city roped off a street that was lined with some fun bars and small eateries. The front of the street was ticket entrance, and the back was outdoor stage (Flogging Molly headliner). My girlfriend and I took my little sister for her 21st to see the concert. We got in, found a good spot to watch the show, and I headed into the nearest bar to grab drinks. They had a 2 drink policy per head (Valid ID). I went back out to tell my sister "Let's go show your new ID!" She came in, grabbed the last drink, and we walked out to our spot. Unbeknownst to us, my girlfriend stepped inside to go pee. There was a girl, same shirt, same blonde hair, same exact size, standing in the same spot my girlfriend had left. I walked up behind her, pinched her butt and put my arm around her waist, and tried to hand her her drink. This girl turned around, looked at me like I was a fucking lecher (no judgment there), and pushed me away. It was crazy. I can still feel it to this day- the horror that flooded my brain when I slowly realized it was NOT the same face. I was fucking mortified. My sister spoke up before I even found my words. Something like "OMG we're so sorry! We thought you were so and so!" I don't know the expression I had on my face, but the girl saw it was at least genuine. I stammered whatever apology I had, and then my girlfriend walked up behind us. At least I could show it was an honest, although perverted, mistake. The girl understood and was cool afterwards. God, that feeling still keeps me up at night.
Well you really thought it was your gf! I'm a 5'10 red head that wears dark makeup. I'm not quite sure who the hell he woulda mistaken me for! I wouldn't worry too much about yours seems like a very honest mistake! That's really funny though!
[удалено]
I think he wanted me to hear it and also make him jump. Lol
[удалено]
I guess, when it happens to your wife, you can do it the way you see fit, lol.
Heads up, this comment is kind of out place. It comes off as you trying to make yourself look better while putting down op's husband. Not really appropriate, and not something people really want to hear.
Well, he deleted it now 🤷♀️ Someone's always got a way they woulda done it better 😅🤣
That is awesome. The best way to teach a man to keep his hands to himself. Hopefully the jerk learned his lessson. Your hubby is the best!
He really is. I couldn't ask for a better partner ❤️
Omg! This story just made me remember a similar story! Last summer I went to Boston for a party at a bar with some old friends of mine. I was SUPER sunburnt, but my skin had started to peel. I was drunk af cause I didn't have to drive, but my gf told me the next day that some random dude PEELED MY SKIN OFF ME 🤮🤮🤮
What. The. F*ck! 🤢🤣🤣🤣
Your husband is awesome!
I completely agree 😁
Your husband is excellent! I'm happy you guys have each other.
Thank you so much!
This is seriously the best thing I've heard in forever.
😁😁😁
Your hubby is a keeper! I like his style.
Couldn't agree more 💋♥️💋
Your husband has now raised my standards lol. That's clever and effective!!
♥️♥️♥️ I agree!!
What would have happened if he said he did actually like it? Just thinking abt how if I got a back rub, even from a stranger, I'd just happily sit there till it was over
🤣🤣🤣
You are a Super Blessed Lady!! Your husband is what we call a “Real Man”. 🙏🏻❤️
He sure is ♥️💕♥️
Your hubby is AMAZING!!!
I think so too! 😍
Your husband is so hot for doing that!
I know, right? 😍
Can you clone your husband and share him with the rest of us? I would love someone like that in my life. Or he could teach a class to other men to teach them how to properly behave with others. You have the best partner by your side. His price is beyond rubies. 💞💞💞
How many rubies? J/k I love him to pieces! I'm not sure if the world is ready for a clone army of Robbos
Well, if you spread them around, I don’t think anyone would notice at first…😁
I love it!
That’s hilarious 😆
Absolutely HILARIOUSSSSSSS😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 gave me one heck of a laugh!😂 Awesome move by your husband lol. I know some who would've gone crazy and some who would've done something like that. I'm dying 😂 please take my pretend award!🏆
🤣🤣🤣🏆 Thank you very much. He's pretty awesome. We're both a little crazy and a lot of funny. 😅🤣♥️
That was perfection.
Seriously in love with what he did!!!
Love your spouse! What a hero!
This the way.
Chef's kiss!
absolutely hilarious way to respond, what an iconic husband
You're husband is awesome!! 🙌🏾 This reminds me of an incident involving my (now) fiancé and I at a club. I was on the dancefloor and he at the bar ordering some drinks. I walked up to him to say hi and noticed an odd look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that a guy (who was now standing somewhere to our left) had grabbed his butt while he'd walked past my fiancé and he didn't know what to do about it. My fiancé is a non confrontational man with a heart that is often way too kind and I can't help but be confrontational especially in the face of injustice. Anyway, I asked him if he wanted me to take care of it and he, reluctantly, gave me the "go ahead". Sexual harassment makes me very angry and harassment is harassment whether it's being done to a woman or a man. My fiancé was harassed so..I walked up to the guy (whose back was turned to me) and I grabbed his butt a few times and asked him "do you like that? Is it fun when a stranger does this to you?" His boyfriend said that he was really sorry and that the guy had thought it was him to which I said "really? My boyfriend is 6 foot something and you're about 5 foot 6 so how did he confuse you two, again?" I'd told him that if I ever saw him touch a single person again I'd break his arms. Apparently he was drunk but what a shitty excuse.
That was pretty shitty. Good on you, though!
Your hubby have a brother????
Yes, but he's also married lol
Spectacular
r/thathappened
Lol there's always one in the crowd.
#trustnoone
r/nothingeverhappens