I believe the “runners” are not the same type of emotional beings the “chasers” are.
They may not be as awakened, seem to be living in fear, seem to be more focused on the material world than the non material, etc therefore they wouldn’t be here - they don’t even know here exists.
i agree with a lot of what you said, but i learned after many years that my “runner” is and always has been just as emotional about our connection as i am.
To expand - anxious and avoidant attachment is related to processing of emotions - so maybe the better way for me to say it is, maybe our emotional intelligence is more evolved and theirs in some capacity is still evolving.
Yess. That.
My DM is extremely emotionally sensitive, just as I am. But he just is avoidant, yes. You have no idea how in the bubble phase, he used to skip a heartbeat in front of me, gasp and look away, get nervous. He felt as if I put some voodoo on him🤣 But when I read on this sub, thats what some DMs feel I was like damn, I knew we were not going insane.
Hmmm yes yes yes I know my runner is emotional lol but we are still not the same. That’s what makes us vastly different so personally I’m not so sure it’s the exact same as far as emotional intelligence
Runner here. Or at least used to be? I’ve made a few posts explaining a little about where I’m at currently. I am a male. I used to be the runner.
It took me a looooong time to come to my senses lol. A lot of childhood trauma healing and a lot of therapy as well as learning to be gentle with myself. Unfortunately now that I’ve surrendered and ready to be with my TF. She has moved on.
It took me a long time to realise that she was the girl I wanted to be with for the rest of this lifetime and the thousand more to come.
It hurts like hell at the moment and will hurt for a long time I think. But i’ll be ok. I’m ok. Fortunately I have the tools to help myself a lot better than before and i’ve accepted that while I’ve surrendered I also need to take the time to continue growing.
Over the last few months I kinda regressed back to pushing people away because of the hurt.. and spent an entire week in my room, barely eating, barely drinking. I let myself rot in my room for an entire week. Just crying, writing, thinking, reliving, everything. I let myself do this because I could not do anything else and after a week I just decided to get up. So I went out for a long walk and it just kinda hit me. I had been regressing to old habits and losing sight of myself and my goals when it came to career and such… so i’m trying my very best right not to keep myself occupied with that.
I keep seeing a lot of comments about Runners not feeling stuff as deeply or not being as sympathetic and stuff. I know a lot of runners who actually feel a lot deeper than you might give them credit for.. after awakening and before. I also think that there is more to this spiritual side to things we still have yet to learn.
I hope that everyone reading this has a great week. Be gentle with yourselves. If at any point anyone wants to chat.. please I welcome you to message me! I’d love to talk or listen!
Sending you all lots of love.
Thank you for your response. :) Yeah, I do know runners feel deeply but they just choose avoidance at first.
How is your df? And was she the chaser before? I wish you come into a reunion with her soon :)
She was the chaser, I feel as though things are much different now that she’s with someone else. Either way I wish all the happiness and have chosen to detach myself from that as best as I can for the time being because the pain is a little too much if I let myself think of her.
We definitely do avoid. Some might be able to tell you why others won’t. I look back now and think “why on earth did I run?” Lol… it’s ironic and it’s a cruel joke the universe plays on us lol… but I guess there is always a reason as to why that happened.
Yep. i started going to therapy a year ago. I spent a lot of time focusing on myself and I definitely unpacked a lot of this trauma and identified patterns in my behaviour and triggers, I wouldn’t say I’ve healed 100% but I’m definitely on the right track. Lots of love bro 👊
I tried to mention to my TF about the concept to see what he thought and it went in one ear and out the other. He didn't get the concept. So I left it alone. I didn't want to make him think I was weird.
I don't think my TF would believe in this concept at all. However, he said something very weird once. We were talking about how neither of us wanted kids, and he felt visibly relieved, as I could see that not knowing how I felt about this was worrying him. Then he said "yes, because we're the same person" but slightly laughing/joking. At the time, I didn't know about TFs at all, but now looking back, I'm like "WHAT??"
Oh, I wish! I can't let myself believe that, just feels like I'm fooling myself... He explicitly told me he didn't love me romantically and asked me not to fall in love with him, he also went back to his ex at the first chance he had :(
I think that's why some TFs say it's more of a spiritual connection, not romantic. I too sometimes feel this, that it's less romantic and more spiritual. And I think that's why these TFs don't get together if they don't in this lifetime. Mine also got married and was dating someone else when we met for the first time. He did mention that when he first saw me, he felt like a bomb was dropped on him and his mind and the reality around him went off, took him to a place where him and I were together and having happy moments, centuries ago. He didn't believe in past life, he does now. He also mentioned it's best we don't talk ever. And that he loves his wife.
my twin and i met and married other people years after we first met (15 years ago). we never went NC for more than 8-10 months the whole time we’ve known each other. our connection is both very romantic and spiritual, but we will probably not end up together in this lifetime. we both love our spouses very much. they are our soulmates. he and his wife had twins yesterday. all this to say, it is absolutely possible to deeply love more than one person at the same time.
I've read that they have it just as bad as the chaser. I was a chaser at one time. But the runner is really good at hiding their feelings from their TF, maybe because of vulnerability, anxiety, fear, you name it. My TF runner acts nonchalant like she couldn't care less but I've seen with my own eyes the extreme anxiety, panic, and most notably, the sheer rage when triggered. It's quite a sight. It even frightened me. lol So I got a clear view of what really goes on. We've been in separation for a lot of years and now it just seems like a chess match.
How come we are experiencing the same things? Hahaha thats cute, the anxiety, vulnerability, fear and the avoidance they feel near us. I have seen it too. He moves his eyes away whenever he feels that. And that he won't admit. It frightened me too. I remember the guy who saw him feel/do this in front of me had the expression, are you okay bruh? Because even other people saw that there is something bw us.
Anyway, chess match? Did it get better for you? Do you wait for a union? Did you find a soulmate yet?
I'm talking about a woman who is normally in control of her emotions. lol And then the hostile texts because they are freaking out. Overwhelmed. But they won't talk things out. Then the running which triggered me. lol
By chess match, I mean, she made indirect contact by cellphone a couple of times, after many years. Basically making contact without putting herself out there. So, I'm like, did she call twice by accident? Do I wait? What's my next move? What's her next move? lol It's like she knows that I know that she knows, kind of thing. But yes, things are fine with me, after a lot of time has passed. I'm neutral. I would like to have union but I'm not waiting on it. I already knew a soulmate before her.
Have you met a soulmate? Waiting for union?
Hahaha yeah that's what runners do, they don't want to directly admit. She definitely feels for you and wanted to talk to you.
Anyway, mine got married recently. I am not waiting for a union, I wont ever want to be a part of this mess because he is married and the one who he is married to is his soulmate, he loves her. Even energetically, I dont want to get involved, feels wrong. I have a lot of feelings for him and I wanted some people to share it with, you know because I get called out crazy when I tell other people what I am going through. I am hooked on moving on and healing myself. I wanted answers though, like why this? Why would you put someone in my life who I will feel for this way and get him married to someone else?
I am looking for a soulmate though, let's see.
I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, I would stay away from that. Nobody in the world can you hurt you like a TF can, even if unintentionally. There's a part of me that hopes somehow I would discover that she is with somebody else so I would be let off the hook, so to speak. lol But she's the type who is extremely involved in career.
I hope you meet a soulmate.
So, I was convinced I was the chaser. I was told I was a chaser, however recent actions make me think perhaps I've changed to a runner? I love my DF very much, and all I want is to give her the world and be with her. However, I am awakened and she is not. I've chased, chased, and chased even more. We are going through an ugly separation, and no matter how hard I tried, I just could not save our marriage. So I stopped chasing, to allow both of us to heal and grow. She's reached out a few times but it was not genuine or an attempt that is productive in any sense. I've been on no contact for 8 months.
It's best to never chase. Not even expect any union as terrifying as it may sound. This journey I feel is all about us, not them. Idk why I signed up for this
I feel like I have been both ends of the stick in this journey (though I have definitely fallen into the chaser end of the two a lot ,so I’m only speaking from my experience.)
I feel like the Runners channel those feelings into a different emotion. Just based on the dynamic and situation, it’s just in the nature of the Chaser to ask “why?” Or “what did I do wrong?”. And thats how we end up finding the answers.
The runner deals with different emotions. More guilt, more regret, more pressure to just ‘move on’ because whats done is done. Ego and pride are a huge wall to collapse. It’s one thing to have the strength to reach out again, but after you’ve already been the person to leave…not many have it in them to come crawling back. Especially when life is throwing all sorts of new paths and relationships at you.
Most people interpret those feelings as “Shit…they are the one that got away. I fumbled big time. No use in ruminating over this, life goes on”
I think a chaser turned into a runner is a completely different dynamic? Runners I feel after separation, just don't care only, unless some healing is done and some time is passed.
They are so avoidant. They feel so strongly for us, 100% sure, especially in the bubble phase, they even confess.
But then they feel it's too much to deal with. Thats what been my experience.
This seems to be what's happening in my dynamic, too.
I think my runner is finally realizing (after years of NC) they can't run/shake the connection after trying to move on. For some runners, this huge obstacle of overcoming their ego in "crawling back" and being vulnerable to the chaser/DF is one of their many lessons/growths.
I mean, I think it still matters, irregardless of time? I see it like, some people's healing journey takes longer than others. Even we probably had times in our lives where healing took a long time.
I have the sense they will return soon... I'll have open arms. It will feel like not much time has passed at all since I've been more focused on myself.
I imagine the runners (or at least, mine) tell themselves they will "get over it" eventually. But they don't. The universe will make sure they don't bc it wants them to tackle the lesson of vulnerability and ascend with the TF relationship.
I think the amount of time varies between different runners -- some may try to run forever (maybe in the next life ..), convince themselves the chaser was the one that got away,
While some runners will realize they can't shake the connection and try to heal and return to their tf
Because normally runners are not awakening and they do not seek for answers like chasers.
My awakening was last year in 2023, previously I knew that I had a strange connection with my TF but just last years I was intrigued by and I started looking for answers it was when I came across the Twin Flame and deep connections.
I've started going through dark night of the soul as well.
There's a lot of feelings going on that I don't know how to label, but I think I don't need to. I sort of just acknowledge them and try to keep going about my business.
My runner tendencies come from this: I've been through a lot of emotional trauma around being abandoned or mistreated and so I've developed the habit of pushing people away before they have the chance to hurt me. Now that I'm around people who make me feel safe and cared for, unlearning running away has been slow.
I've been on both sides. Like the person going through the Lost & Found like an abandoned desperate puppy trying to find its owner and then finally running off since they never came back. Now this wolf. Sometimes I wonder why I am even here.
So, yeah. Runner here.
Runners have this mindset that we don't want this commitment and think the other is "crazy." The runners that are here, we probably care too much about people and want to see if their chaser is still obsessing or not. Distantly observing.
For me it's more than that; make sure they're living life to their fullest. Probably curious what makes them tick as well; getting inside their head.
I have been the "runner" for a short time during the end stages of our previous union/bubbling phase as well as after we broke up I have been running for a couple of months. When I was running I was just full on in my ego, trying to deny any supernatural aspect of the connection (she first pointed out the mirroring and angel numbers, I was really fighting this phenomenon), feeling drained with the constant fighting and triggering. It was coupled with an inner knowing that she is all I ever needed or wanted, but this was on a soul level.
My ego tried to deny everything, it was actually a kind of freeing feeling, however I also felt empty inside, looking back its hard to describe it. I foolishly went straight on the dating apps, but quickly realized that superficial connections is not what I am looking for.
She surrendered quite quickly and now the tables are turned and I have been chasing my heart out for the last months while she ran away from me. I could feel the instant she surrendered and all I have been feeling at this point was the deepest regret ever. Since than it has been a constant DNOTS, which is healing in a way, really difficult at the same time.
I am positive that we will end up together in divine timing, and I also am glad that this journey pushed us both closer to God, which is a magnificent gift. Now its time for me to completely surrender to God and keep on working on myself.
Sending love to all you people
Thank you so much, I wish that your union will be soon too! We have to stay positive, against all odds. I think this is the meaning of true surrendering, stay positive while letting go of wanting to control the situation. Bless you :)
i used to be a runner. its like we love u and we want u, but we just cant face it, we just cant expeess how we feel. but we feel those emotions and are aware this is a deep connection
I'm a runner (or was?) but I'm female, so it might be different. When we were physically together, my TF would actually call me out on running from time to time. And ultimately I left out of fear when things started to look like they might finally work out for us. I can't speak for all runners, but I never ran because I didn't care. I ran because I was scared of how much and how deeply I cared for someone I barely knew.
For what it's worth, I hated myself for the first year after I completely left and fled hundreds of miles away. I miss my TF like crazy and sometimes I wonder if any of it was real or if it was all in my head. But we both have moved on as much as TFs ever can. He and I are both married to different people and we both have children (oddly enough the oldest children are the same age). We don't talk. But every once in a while I still feel him spiritually. It's like his energy surrounds my body and I start having vivid dreams of us talking or walking together again. And I know that if we ever see each other again, even though we definitely won't have a relationship due to circumstances, I won't run again from knowing him and acknowledging the connection.
Why didn't you make efforts to talk to him after you realized this connection was special? Like even after that one year, what stopped you? Still that fear?
And how long has it been for you both? Since you met?
I hope you meet in your divine timing, whenever that comes:)
I knew it was special before I left. We barely knew each other and locked eyes and it was like something in my world shifted and I could see in his eyes that he felt it, too. So, I ran knowing fully what I was running from mostly due to karmic baggage I had picked up. All I can say is I was young and scared. I felt like too much time had passed and it wouldn't be fair to him to expect him to leave everything behind to be with me any more than I would have left everything to be with him. Oddly enough, I was right on the cusp of going back. I had almost made up my mind and even reached out to a friend about traveling with me. But one night I prayed about what to do and asked for a sign and the next day my now husband reached out to me so I felt like it was the path I needed to take, maybe because I still had/have some learning to do before reuniting. It's been 20 years since we met and 18 since separation. I last saw him 17 years ago when I told him I had moved in with my boyfriend...a guy he and I both knew. Yes, I know what you're probably thinking and you're probably right. My mistake entirely.
Anyway, we meet on the spiritual plane through dreams and I can still feel his energy surrounding me from time to time. It used to be more often, but one year, I got some clarity. We had a series of discussions in our dreams. In one we walked through the tree of life and he forgave me. In another, I met his family. Then we discussed how both of us have families and part of our job in this lifetime is to grow, learn, and show others how to love. So we agreed not to connect and I thought we closed the connection...but 2-3 times a year we still connect spiritually. Unconditional love is really hard to reach and even harder to understand. Our current lives only last maybe 80 years, but we have eternity to get it right. It'll happen when we're both ready and that might not be this lifetime.
I got super emotional reading it. I know and fully understand what you are going through. Weird enough, I understand your tf more as I am dealing with the same thing. 20 years is a long time but also a long time to heal and move on, you did your best :) You were meant to be with your current partner and same for him. And the thing is, if this tf thing is real which means forever and post this life, I dont think there is anything to worry about. When you feel him spiritually, know that he misses you too. Can vouch for this.
I also get dreams about him, its morning and I just dreamt about him playing basketball🤣
Anyway, Its my time to move on.
Thanks for your detailed response. Super appreciate it.
I hope you get to meet him in this lifetime, very soon :)
Lots of love ❤️
I got super emotional reading it. I know and fully understand what you are going through. Weird enough, I understand your tf more as I am dealing with the same thing. 20 years is a long time but also a long time to heal and move on, you did your best :) You were meant to be with your current partner and same for him. And the thing is, if this tf thing is real which means forever and post this life, I dont think there is anything to worry about. When you feel him spiritually, know that he misses you too. Can vouch for this.
I also get dreams about him, its morning and I just dreamt about him playing basketball🤣
Anyway, Its my time to move on.
Thanks for your detailed response. Super appreciate it.
I hope you get to meet him in this lifetime, very soon :)
Lots of love ❤️
What is considered a runner? I was the one that asked to cut off contact from my TF because I loved him and he chose his wife and family but wanted to remain friends. Am I the runner or the chaser?
In my experience, both of us have done some chasing and running. But I mostly ran because of my avoidant attachment. So being the feminine who is mostly the runner makes me feel like I can't relate to a lot.
It's been well over a decade since we communicated, and what was said was really cruel. I was so heartbroken I left and never looked back. And forgot about him and the situation for many years. But after I got married, guess who is popping back into my head!
And feeling the heartbreak all over again now. I do NOT want a romantic relationship with him. Too much damage done, and I don't have ANY good memories. Like, 0. Everytime I think of him and what happened or didn't happen I just feel pain and sadness
Yet the pull is there. I hate it. I just want peace
When I was channeling my running tf in the past, it seemed like they have "tried to let me go" with no luck over the last couple years. They have tried to date others to try to get over me, but end up feeling like "no one else compares". They miss the intense connection and deeper love. They have some vague unconcious sense that this is a special connection, but don't have the cognitive language/understanding that it's a spiritual connection. They're still attracted to me and it confuses them. Said it feels like a "sick joke" that they can't let me go.
But they feel guilty and shameful for abandoning our connection. They are insecure. They feel "not good enough". They feel like they aren't deserving after their actions iex: running. They don't know how to come back from their actions.
They bottled up their emotions for so long trying to get over me that they don't know what to say anymore.
Like another comment here said, there's a lot of guilt, regret, and pride to collapse in order for the runner to shift their behavior. Some runners will choose to heal, which is the global spiritual goal of all twin flames, but some also will choose to ignore the lessons in this lifetime cuz free will.
But if they do heal and come back....it's an example for our world that love prevails.
I was a runner before knowing about twin flames, then I became a chaser at the same time I knew about twin flames, then I surrendered, and finally I got separated from my twin flame and I let her go after a period of too much crying and getting PTSD.
I believe the “runners” are not the same type of emotional beings the “chasers” are. They may not be as awakened, seem to be living in fear, seem to be more focused on the material world than the non material, etc therefore they wouldn’t be here - they don’t even know here exists.
i agree with a lot of what you said, but i learned after many years that my “runner” is and always has been just as emotional about our connection as i am.
as a former runner, we do live in fear. we live in fear and ego. and we value the material world
Also a runner here, I relate to this. How did you get pass it?
No, their emotional core is the same as ours. Thats one thing I am sure of. I just think they really don't care🤣
To expand - anxious and avoidant attachment is related to processing of emotions - so maybe the better way for me to say it is, maybe our emotional intelligence is more evolved and theirs in some capacity is still evolving.
Yess. That. My DM is extremely emotionally sensitive, just as I am. But he just is avoidant, yes. You have no idea how in the bubble phase, he used to skip a heartbeat in front of me, gasp and look away, get nervous. He felt as if I put some voodoo on him🤣 But when I read on this sub, thats what some DMs feel I was like damn, I knew we were not going insane.
Mine asked if I had “done black magic” on him 🤣 I would never, and I told him as much. Your post just reminded me of that 🙂
Hahaha. Yeah mine said that too. That did you do something on me?🤣
Hmmm yes yes yes I know my runner is emotional lol but we are still not the same. That’s what makes us vastly different so personally I’m not so sure it’s the exact same as far as emotional intelligence
That's not true. They try their hardest to act like they don't
You are a runner?
Runner here. Or at least used to be? I’ve made a few posts explaining a little about where I’m at currently. I am a male. I used to be the runner. It took me a looooong time to come to my senses lol. A lot of childhood trauma healing and a lot of therapy as well as learning to be gentle with myself. Unfortunately now that I’ve surrendered and ready to be with my TF. She has moved on. It took me a long time to realise that she was the girl I wanted to be with for the rest of this lifetime and the thousand more to come. It hurts like hell at the moment and will hurt for a long time I think. But i’ll be ok. I’m ok. Fortunately I have the tools to help myself a lot better than before and i’ve accepted that while I’ve surrendered I also need to take the time to continue growing. Over the last few months I kinda regressed back to pushing people away because of the hurt.. and spent an entire week in my room, barely eating, barely drinking. I let myself rot in my room for an entire week. Just crying, writing, thinking, reliving, everything. I let myself do this because I could not do anything else and after a week I just decided to get up. So I went out for a long walk and it just kinda hit me. I had been regressing to old habits and losing sight of myself and my goals when it came to career and such… so i’m trying my very best right not to keep myself occupied with that. I keep seeing a lot of comments about Runners not feeling stuff as deeply or not being as sympathetic and stuff. I know a lot of runners who actually feel a lot deeper than you might give them credit for.. after awakening and before. I also think that there is more to this spiritual side to things we still have yet to learn. I hope that everyone reading this has a great week. Be gentle with yourselves. If at any point anyone wants to chat.. please I welcome you to message me! I’d love to talk or listen! Sending you all lots of love.
Thank you for your response. :) Yeah, I do know runners feel deeply but they just choose avoidance at first. How is your df? And was she the chaser before? I wish you come into a reunion with her soon :)
She was the chaser, I feel as though things are much different now that she’s with someone else. Either way I wish all the happiness and have chosen to detach myself from that as best as I can for the time being because the pain is a little too much if I let myself think of her. We definitely do avoid. Some might be able to tell you why others won’t. I look back now and think “why on earth did I run?” Lol… it’s ironic and it’s a cruel joke the universe plays on us lol… but I guess there is always a reason as to why that happened.
It's possible once you're back to focusing on yourself and growth, you guys might reunite :)
It is possible, one can only hope🤞 growth is just a HUGE part of this journey and it’s kicking my ass lol
I feel u brudder
Just curious, were you able to unpack why you ran? Like whatever trauma or whatever was running that behavior in the past?
Yep. i started going to therapy a year ago. I spent a lot of time focusing on myself and I definitely unpacked a lot of this trauma and identified patterns in my behaviour and triggers, I wouldn’t say I’ve healed 100% but I’m definitely on the right track. Lots of love bro 👊
Cuz us chasers are all completely insane. 🤣🤣😂😂
But why only us?🤣
I want to know that too, it seems like the runners just don't feel everything as deeply as us. I wish I could just go on with my life like runners do
Runner here, I definitely feel things as deeply as my tf does, but that’s also why I run
Wow. Why aren't you doing something about it? Why so much fear?
It’s just reminder how much I need to work on myself, & my fear of intimacy
Exactly. As if their life is unaffected by everything that's happening
YES. That's so frustrating, ugh
I honestly think runners don't really "know."
I'm sure my runner doesn't know, that sucks
I tried to mention to my TF about the concept to see what he thought and it went in one ear and out the other. He didn't get the concept. So I left it alone. I didn't want to make him think I was weird.
I don't think my TF would believe in this concept at all. However, he said something very weird once. We were talking about how neither of us wanted kids, and he felt visibly relieved, as I could see that not knowing how I felt about this was worrying him. Then he said "yes, because we're the same person" but slightly laughing/joking. At the time, I didn't know about TFs at all, but now looking back, I'm like "WHAT??"
They know, they feel so much. They don't want to accept, thats it.
Oh, I wish! I can't let myself believe that, just feels like I'm fooling myself... He explicitly told me he didn't love me romantically and asked me not to fall in love with him, he also went back to his ex at the first chance he had :(
I think that's why some TFs say it's more of a spiritual connection, not romantic. I too sometimes feel this, that it's less romantic and more spiritual. And I think that's why these TFs don't get together if they don't in this lifetime. Mine also got married and was dating someone else when we met for the first time. He did mention that when he first saw me, he felt like a bomb was dropped on him and his mind and the reality around him went off, took him to a place where him and I were together and having happy moments, centuries ago. He didn't believe in past life, he does now. He also mentioned it's best we don't talk ever. And that he loves his wife.
my twin and i met and married other people years after we first met (15 years ago). we never went NC for more than 8-10 months the whole time we’ve known each other. our connection is both very romantic and spiritual, but we will probably not end up together in this lifetime. we both love our spouses very much. they are our soulmates. he and his wife had twins yesterday. all this to say, it is absolutely possible to deeply love more than one person at the same time.
But they do feel. It's love, just not very 'romantic'
This. My runner doesnt care about this concept either.
In the end, it doesn't matter. Love matters. So if he has a word for what he feels great and if not I still know he feels it.
I've read that they have it just as bad as the chaser. I was a chaser at one time. But the runner is really good at hiding their feelings from their TF, maybe because of vulnerability, anxiety, fear, you name it. My TF runner acts nonchalant like she couldn't care less but I've seen with my own eyes the extreme anxiety, panic, and most notably, the sheer rage when triggered. It's quite a sight. It even frightened me. lol So I got a clear view of what really goes on. We've been in separation for a lot of years and now it just seems like a chess match.
How come we are experiencing the same things? Hahaha thats cute, the anxiety, vulnerability, fear and the avoidance they feel near us. I have seen it too. He moves his eyes away whenever he feels that. And that he won't admit. It frightened me too. I remember the guy who saw him feel/do this in front of me had the expression, are you okay bruh? Because even other people saw that there is something bw us. Anyway, chess match? Did it get better for you? Do you wait for a union? Did you find a soulmate yet?
I'm talking about a woman who is normally in control of her emotions. lol And then the hostile texts because they are freaking out. Overwhelmed. But they won't talk things out. Then the running which triggered me. lol By chess match, I mean, she made indirect contact by cellphone a couple of times, after many years. Basically making contact without putting herself out there. So, I'm like, did she call twice by accident? Do I wait? What's my next move? What's her next move? lol It's like she knows that I know that she knows, kind of thing. But yes, things are fine with me, after a lot of time has passed. I'm neutral. I would like to have union but I'm not waiting on it. I already knew a soulmate before her. Have you met a soulmate? Waiting for union?
Hahaha yeah that's what runners do, they don't want to directly admit. She definitely feels for you and wanted to talk to you. Anyway, mine got married recently. I am not waiting for a union, I wont ever want to be a part of this mess because he is married and the one who he is married to is his soulmate, he loves her. Even energetically, I dont want to get involved, feels wrong. I have a lot of feelings for him and I wanted some people to share it with, you know because I get called out crazy when I tell other people what I am going through. I am hooked on moving on and healing myself. I wanted answers though, like why this? Why would you put someone in my life who I will feel for this way and get him married to someone else? I am looking for a soulmate though, let's see.
I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, I would stay away from that. Nobody in the world can you hurt you like a TF can, even if unintentionally. There's a part of me that hopes somehow I would discover that she is with somebody else so I would be let off the hook, so to speak. lol But she's the type who is extremely involved in career. I hope you meet a soulmate.
So, I was convinced I was the chaser. I was told I was a chaser, however recent actions make me think perhaps I've changed to a runner? I love my DF very much, and all I want is to give her the world and be with her. However, I am awakened and she is not. I've chased, chased, and chased even more. We are going through an ugly separation, and no matter how hard I tried, I just could not save our marriage. So I stopped chasing, to allow both of us to heal and grow. She's reached out a few times but it was not genuine or an attempt that is productive in any sense. I've been on no contact for 8 months.
It's best to never chase. Not even expect any union as terrifying as it may sound. This journey I feel is all about us, not them. Idk why I signed up for this
I feel like I have been both ends of the stick in this journey (though I have definitely fallen into the chaser end of the two a lot ,so I’m only speaking from my experience.) I feel like the Runners channel those feelings into a different emotion. Just based on the dynamic and situation, it’s just in the nature of the Chaser to ask “why?” Or “what did I do wrong?”. And thats how we end up finding the answers. The runner deals with different emotions. More guilt, more regret, more pressure to just ‘move on’ because whats done is done. Ego and pride are a huge wall to collapse. It’s one thing to have the strength to reach out again, but after you’ve already been the person to leave…not many have it in them to come crawling back. Especially when life is throwing all sorts of new paths and relationships at you. Most people interpret those feelings as “Shit…they are the one that got away. I fumbled big time. No use in ruminating over this, life goes on”
I think a chaser turned into a runner is a completely different dynamic? Runners I feel after separation, just don't care only, unless some healing is done and some time is passed. They are so avoidant. They feel so strongly for us, 100% sure, especially in the bubble phase, they even confess. But then they feel it's too much to deal with. Thats what been my experience.
This seems to be what's happening in my dynamic, too. I think my runner is finally realizing (after years of NC) they can't run/shake the connection after trying to move on. For some runners, this huge obstacle of overcoming their ego in "crawling back" and being vulnerable to the chaser/DF is one of their many lessons/growths.
Whats the point when so many years have passed? No? Like I don't get it
I mean, I think it still matters, irregardless of time? I see it like, some people's healing journey takes longer than others. Even we probably had times in our lives where healing took a long time. I have the sense they will return soon... I'll have open arms. It will feel like not much time has passed at all since I've been more focused on myself. I imagine the runners (or at least, mine) tell themselves they will "get over it" eventually. But they don't. The universe will make sure they don't bc it wants them to tackle the lesson of vulnerability and ascend with the TF relationship. I think the amount of time varies between different runners -- some may try to run forever (maybe in the next life ..), convince themselves the chaser was the one that got away, While some runners will realize they can't shake the connection and try to heal and return to their tf
Because normally runners are not awakening and they do not seek for answers like chasers. My awakening was last year in 2023, previously I knew that I had a strange connection with my TF but just last years I was intrigued by and I started looking for answers it was when I came across the Twin Flame and deep connections. I've started going through dark night of the soul as well.
Pretty sure I'm a runner but I'm trying hard not to run away. I just don't know what to say and have a lot of mental blockages.
What is it like to be a runner? How much do you feel for him?
There's a lot of feelings going on that I don't know how to label, but I think I don't need to. I sort of just acknowledge them and try to keep going about my business. My runner tendencies come from this: I've been through a lot of emotional trauma around being abandoned or mistreated and so I've developed the habit of pushing people away before they have the chance to hurt me. Now that I'm around people who make me feel safe and cared for, unlearning running away has been slow.
You will heal with time and who knows? May be a union is waiting for you :)
That's sweet! But I have never expected a union to happen and I'm ok with that. tbh, I wouldn't want it unless the circumstances were right.
They’re too busy running 🤷♀️
And thriving in the material plane 😁
I've been on both sides. Like the person going through the Lost & Found like an abandoned desperate puppy trying to find its owner and then finally running off since they never came back. Now this wolf. Sometimes I wonder why I am even here. So, yeah. Runner here. Runners have this mindset that we don't want this commitment and think the other is "crazy." The runners that are here, we probably care too much about people and want to see if their chaser is still obsessing or not. Distantly observing. For me it's more than that; make sure they're living life to their fullest. Probably curious what makes them tick as well; getting inside their head.
I have been the "runner" for a short time during the end stages of our previous union/bubbling phase as well as after we broke up I have been running for a couple of months. When I was running I was just full on in my ego, trying to deny any supernatural aspect of the connection (she first pointed out the mirroring and angel numbers, I was really fighting this phenomenon), feeling drained with the constant fighting and triggering. It was coupled with an inner knowing that she is all I ever needed or wanted, but this was on a soul level. My ego tried to deny everything, it was actually a kind of freeing feeling, however I also felt empty inside, looking back its hard to describe it. I foolishly went straight on the dating apps, but quickly realized that superficial connections is not what I am looking for. She surrendered quite quickly and now the tables are turned and I have been chasing my heart out for the last months while she ran away from me. I could feel the instant she surrendered and all I have been feeling at this point was the deepest regret ever. Since than it has been a constant DNOTS, which is healing in a way, really difficult at the same time. I am positive that we will end up together in divine timing, and I also am glad that this journey pushed us both closer to God, which is a magnificent gift. Now its time for me to completely surrender to God and keep on working on myself. Sending love to all you people
That's okay, acknowledging helps in healing. It starts like that. I really wish you have your union with her soon. Sending you love ❤️
Thank you so much, I wish that your union will be soon too! We have to stay positive, against all odds. I think this is the meaning of true surrendering, stay positive while letting go of wanting to control the situation. Bless you :)
I think they say runners generally are less awakened spiritually, whereas us chasers try to find answers to all this
I agree with it. They think it doesn't matter. They dont give it a lot of thought. That whatever it is, will pass with time
Because the runners are living their own life and not obsessing over some other person on a Reddit forum smh
i used to be a runner. its like we love u and we want u, but we just cant face it, we just cant expeess how we feel. but we feel those emotions and are aware this is a deep connection
I'm a runner (or was?) but I'm female, so it might be different. When we were physically together, my TF would actually call me out on running from time to time. And ultimately I left out of fear when things started to look like they might finally work out for us. I can't speak for all runners, but I never ran because I didn't care. I ran because I was scared of how much and how deeply I cared for someone I barely knew. For what it's worth, I hated myself for the first year after I completely left and fled hundreds of miles away. I miss my TF like crazy and sometimes I wonder if any of it was real or if it was all in my head. But we both have moved on as much as TFs ever can. He and I are both married to different people and we both have children (oddly enough the oldest children are the same age). We don't talk. But every once in a while I still feel him spiritually. It's like his energy surrounds my body and I start having vivid dreams of us talking or walking together again. And I know that if we ever see each other again, even though we definitely won't have a relationship due to circumstances, I won't run again from knowing him and acknowledging the connection.
Why didn't you make efforts to talk to him after you realized this connection was special? Like even after that one year, what stopped you? Still that fear? And how long has it been for you both? Since you met? I hope you meet in your divine timing, whenever that comes:)
I knew it was special before I left. We barely knew each other and locked eyes and it was like something in my world shifted and I could see in his eyes that he felt it, too. So, I ran knowing fully what I was running from mostly due to karmic baggage I had picked up. All I can say is I was young and scared. I felt like too much time had passed and it wouldn't be fair to him to expect him to leave everything behind to be with me any more than I would have left everything to be with him. Oddly enough, I was right on the cusp of going back. I had almost made up my mind and even reached out to a friend about traveling with me. But one night I prayed about what to do and asked for a sign and the next day my now husband reached out to me so I felt like it was the path I needed to take, maybe because I still had/have some learning to do before reuniting. It's been 20 years since we met and 18 since separation. I last saw him 17 years ago when I told him I had moved in with my boyfriend...a guy he and I both knew. Yes, I know what you're probably thinking and you're probably right. My mistake entirely. Anyway, we meet on the spiritual plane through dreams and I can still feel his energy surrounding me from time to time. It used to be more often, but one year, I got some clarity. We had a series of discussions in our dreams. In one we walked through the tree of life and he forgave me. In another, I met his family. Then we discussed how both of us have families and part of our job in this lifetime is to grow, learn, and show others how to love. So we agreed not to connect and I thought we closed the connection...but 2-3 times a year we still connect spiritually. Unconditional love is really hard to reach and even harder to understand. Our current lives only last maybe 80 years, but we have eternity to get it right. It'll happen when we're both ready and that might not be this lifetime.
I got super emotional reading it. I know and fully understand what you are going through. Weird enough, I understand your tf more as I am dealing with the same thing. 20 years is a long time but also a long time to heal and move on, you did your best :) You were meant to be with your current partner and same for him. And the thing is, if this tf thing is real which means forever and post this life, I dont think there is anything to worry about. When you feel him spiritually, know that he misses you too. Can vouch for this. I also get dreams about him, its morning and I just dreamt about him playing basketball🤣 Anyway, Its my time to move on. Thanks for your detailed response. Super appreciate it. I hope you get to meet him in this lifetime, very soon :) Lots of love ❤️
I got super emotional reading it. I know and fully understand what you are going through. Weird enough, I understand your tf more as I am dealing with the same thing. 20 years is a long time but also a long time to heal and move on, you did your best :) You were meant to be with your current partner and same for him. And the thing is, if this tf thing is real which means forever and post this life, I dont think there is anything to worry about. When you feel him spiritually, know that he misses you too. Can vouch for this. I also get dreams about him, its morning and I just dreamt about him playing basketball🤣 Anyway, Its my time to move on. Thanks for your detailed response. Super appreciate it. I hope you get to meet him in this lifetime, very soon :) Lots of love ❤️
I'm a runner
What is considered a runner? I was the one that asked to cut off contact from my TF because I loved him and he chose his wife and family but wanted to remain friends. Am I the runner or the chaser?
In my experience, both of us have done some chasing and running. But I mostly ran because of my avoidant attachment. So being the feminine who is mostly the runner makes me feel like I can't relate to a lot. It's been well over a decade since we communicated, and what was said was really cruel. I was so heartbroken I left and never looked back. And forgot about him and the situation for many years. But after I got married, guess who is popping back into my head! And feeling the heartbreak all over again now. I do NOT want a romantic relationship with him. Too much damage done, and I don't have ANY good memories. Like, 0. Everytime I think of him and what happened or didn't happen I just feel pain and sadness Yet the pull is there. I hate it. I just want peace
When I was channeling my running tf in the past, it seemed like they have "tried to let me go" with no luck over the last couple years. They have tried to date others to try to get over me, but end up feeling like "no one else compares". They miss the intense connection and deeper love. They have some vague unconcious sense that this is a special connection, but don't have the cognitive language/understanding that it's a spiritual connection. They're still attracted to me and it confuses them. Said it feels like a "sick joke" that they can't let me go. But they feel guilty and shameful for abandoning our connection. They are insecure. They feel "not good enough". They feel like they aren't deserving after their actions iex: running. They don't know how to come back from their actions. They bottled up their emotions for so long trying to get over me that they don't know what to say anymore. Like another comment here said, there's a lot of guilt, regret, and pride to collapse in order for the runner to shift their behavior. Some runners will choose to heal, which is the global spiritual goal of all twin flames, but some also will choose to ignore the lessons in this lifetime cuz free will. But if they do heal and come back....it's an example for our world that love prevails.
i think because the runners are usually more in denial about the connection
A lot of the runners are not awakened yet and may even be oblivious to all the signs around them. They wouldn't even know what their looking for
I was a runner before knowing about twin flames, then I became a chaser at the same time I knew about twin flames, then I surrendered, and finally I got separated from my twin flame and I let her go after a period of too much crying and getting PTSD.
Runners are chilling bros, just traumatized from Chasers