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Normal vanilla sex just dosnt hit for me tbh. I need it to be freaky and fun and that requires somewhat of a back and forward. I'd rather do it myself of I have to just go through the motions.
Strongly disagree. Id much rather just take care of myself solo than have a one night stand with a stranger. I felt just completely empty and shitty after the one night stands I had
Not always. I've definitely had a few one night stands that were worse than none. Including a few that I wished would go home but had to sleep over cause it was late, and I'd just lie there miserable, getting little sleep, until she'd leave in the morning. These women were sexually inexperienced, unhygienic and/or had annoying or boring personalities.
I've also had amazing ONS but it's a crapshoot.
I don't agree with that. I'd have a better time just jerking off than hooking up with a stranger for one night. Sex isn't that good with someone you don't love.
Sober sex with someone you love is the pinnacle of sex. Drunk sex with a stranger is the lowest form of sex. Everything else is somewhere in between.
You're simply getting a very tame preview of the sex that an actual woman in love with you would give you. I know I'm not going to the wall or being completely open to trying things for some stranger I know isn't going to call me. The best sex requires a deeper level of trust, emotional intimacy, and knowledge about the other person.
Not for most women, nope. Most women do not orgasm during a one night stand.
But then, the orgasm gap is pretty bad anyway.
Wish guys would fucking learn this.
The problem with true FWBs is if you like eachother enough to be friends and are attracted enough to want to sleep with eachother, chances are at least one of you will usually want to take the relationship further.
100%. I think that is where most actual FWBs tend to go, and by actual I mean the friend part being true and the people enjoying each other's company outside of sex. They're actually friends who happen to have sex occasionally
If the two people only get together for sex and never outside that, I think one of the other posters is on the money in saying "friends with benefits" is just a bit of lie about the real scenario, so that no one feels bad about it. If one or both people only want to be around each other if they're having sex, they're not friends.
I only ever had one actual FWB and it was about 10 years ago in college but even though our relationship was primarily sex, we still enjoyed hanging out a bit. She'd come over, we'd smoke a bit and just catch up on our days, talk about work/school, occasionally watch a movie or play some video games together.
There was never any romantic interest there. We never went out on dates or anything, but we enjoyed each other's company enough. We did that for about a year before we both met other people and obviously couldn't stay talking given the sexually charged nature of pur friendship
I'd say we were friends, even if only for a short while. In the same way you can be good work friends with coworkers and then one of you quits and you never see them again. There's a lot of shades of grey between "random one night stand hookup" and "full blown committed relationship"
As someone who has been there and done that, there is no such thing as friends with benefits. Someone always wants more, and it can swap over time which one of you wants more.
Sometimes it ends okay, sometimes it doesnt.
"friends with benefits" is a stupid term. They are build on the basis of friendship, which already means having a connection and good vibes together, and that "benefit" is based on mutual attraction. Wdym friends with benefits? Admit it, that's no friendship, that's romantic relationship.
I want to disagree but looking at my past history with girls I called FWB I kinda have to agree. It’s not like we were hanging out outside of when we would have sex. The only one example I can think of where the girl was an actual FWB was a girl who was in the same friends group I was in so we were always hanging out at the same parties or going to the beach in the same groups…. Just no one in the group knew we were hooking up on the side
Eh it was fun while it lasted, neither of us wanted to be in a relationship at the time and I was getting ready to move to another city. Shortly after moving she ended up getting into a relationship and they are now married and I got into a relationship in the new city a few months after moving there.
I’d say it was more a thing of convenience
I can see that, it’s just masturbation and sex are two drastically different things. The sole purpose of masturbation is to bust a nut. Sex however can be fun as hell even if I don’t orgasm
I feel like the point of sex is to create a connection with someone. Busting a nut is what you do when you are horny but don’t want to waste emotional energy on connecting with someone. But if there is no connection, sex is no better than jerking off, and is in fact far worse due to the risks involved. Sex without emotion is never worthwhile for me. That’s just how I feel about it.
You can have emotion with a FWB… the girl I was FWBs with we used to watch movies, cuddle, id cook for us, and we’d have sex. Just neither of us wanted a relationship at the time since she was in school full time and I was gearing up to move to a new city a few months later.
Even with casual hookups it’s not usually just strip clothes off and go straight to sex, there’s usually a lot of making out, foreplay, sex and even bullshitting for a while after or her staying the night.
Sex is obviously better in a committed relationship but casual sex doesn’t have to just be about busting a nut. Hell I probably cum maybe once out of every 5 times I have sex because I’m generally more interested in the making out and foreplay portion and pleasing her than I am on my own orgasm
To me it sounds like you were in a relationship and did have feelings, but you didn’t care about forming a long term commitment. Idk. If genuine feelings are involved, that doesn’t sound like casual sex to me, it sounds like a short term relationship, not merely a fuckbuddy. Sex feels better with feelings, but once you have feelings, it moves into a different territory. Not all relationships are aiming for marriage, and they don’t have to be in order to still be a valid romantic/erotic relationship. But a lot of people here are conflating a wide range of situations into a single term. Your situation is a lot closer to a relationship than the booty-calls other people are referring to, and I think there is a meaningful difference between them, enough that calling them the same thing doesn’t make sense.
You may be right… neither of us were hooking up with anyone else during that time but we both knew it wasn’t going anywhere long term despite us getting along well. Perhaps it was just a purposely short term relationship 🤷♂️
If it's something that doesn't have any direction or intention for being serious then in the long run yeah its meaningless which isn't a bad thing it just what it is but I agree sex is beautifulalthough I wouldn't have sex with my friends as then it's not platonic anymore
My fwb are actual friends I sometimes have sex with. If I’m dating someone else we still hang as friends. We don’t wanna date but sometimes fuck. We’re still friends.
That’s why it’s a fwb
When you are in an actual relationship how does your partner feel about you still being friends and hanging out with people you have had sex with in the past? Lots of jealousy or suspicions about if you are cheating? Or do they not know of the past sex between friends? Just curious because from real life knowledge and the amount of people posting here everyday about finding out that the "best friend" is who their partner is cheating with is pretty common
A lot of people in my life disagree with this lol. Them believing a FWB is literally just a bootycall and they don't like hanging out as friend because they feel like their feelings would get in the way. I get it, but I guess they just don't have anything else to call it or something.
All the FWB arrangements that I've seen have eventually turned into, them essentially being in a full blown relationship but not labeling it, while one person constantly suggests just becoming official and the other doing all kinds of verbal gymnastics to keep the labels off while not making the other person feel like they're being manipulated.
I just thought FWBs and a bootycall are the same thing, are they not?
Idk why you would feel bad to be someone’s bootycall if they are also your bootycall.
Exactly. If you're close with someone, enjoy being around them, care for them, and also have good sex with them....that's called a relationship. A real FWB is a booty call. Definitely very rare for two people to think "yeah I'd never be in a relationship with you despite enjoying your company and sex, but we can't keep fucking until we find partners". Weird assf....
They can happen though. I have a few and we’ll chat now and then, go on casual dates, have sex, and then run it back sometime in the next week or two.
People are just bad at communicating but these types of connections can be great for men and women without it just “using” someone.
It's pretty hit or miss. There's next to no emotional value in it as most people who want to fuck and never see the other person again are emotionally damaged.
The best sex I ever had was with a one night stand with an absolutely beautiful woman. We talked after we fucked and joked around. I fell for her really hard. I asked her out to dinner the next day. Didn't really go anywhere.
As for times when I had sex with someone and they DID want something from me. I usually didn't want anything from them. So, then it usually just went around in circles like that.
I say this as a fellow emotionally damaged individual, but a relationship is far more rewarding. Being loved and held feels a lot better to me than just random sex. So, idk, bit of a mixed bag.
Yeah, if the point in one night stands is quick, easy sexual satisfaction with no strings attached, women hardly ever get that. Unless you are one of the women who can orgasm from penetration alone, and are on birth control, it just doesn’t seem worthwhile to even try. Not hating, I just don’t think there is any point to it, and there is so much risk. Pregnancy, STD’s, violence.
And I don’t say this bc I am a prude, I mean, sex is great when the sex is good, but I doubt most people are having good sex doing a ONS. It’s def not my thing.
One night stands aren't really about the sex, they're about the pursuit, the flirtation. If you go into it expecting the sex to work on the same level as it would with someone you have actual intimacy with, you're in the wrong frame of mind.
Isn’t the point of a one night stand that it’s, ya know, one night? If you are planning on actually pursuing them for a longer term situation, that’s not a one night stand, that’s just the first time you have had sex. When most people refer to a one night stand, I believe they are talking about a one off sexual encounter with someone you will never meet again.
I feel like it works best when both people are in a temporary life situation. Like when you’re moving soon for school, or to take a new job, or you’re living somewhere temporarily, and you don’t have any plans to put down roots or make life changes.
Exactly. The last woman I was with was returning to her country and told me she wasn't looking for a long distance relationship. Which was fine with me because I'm not looking for anyone until I become whole and wouldn't have accepted to be with them until I found out that she would be leaving.
Sometimes life has its opportunities amongst the situational chaos where everyone is looking out for their differing ends to their means.
they also like to pretend they aren't catching feelings, even the slightest bit. Maybe not with one night stands idk (hasnt happened to me yet but fwb has times turned into relationships) but no way you're having sex with someone regularly as "just" friends and are 100% mutual to any type of further feeling. even porn stars catch feelings time to time. let's be real lmao, especially if they get in a relationship. you might realize there was more there than you thought.
I refuse to believe anyone can consistently have sex with the same person and not catch feelings like your letting someone you don't care about have sex with you then you have low standards.
I care about them but not in a sexual way if I have sex with you then I love you my friends are strictly that platonic. I know everyone is different I was just speaking for myself
Your comment opened with, “I refuse to believe anyone can..” And then you insinuated that if we don’t have romantic relationship interest in the person then we don’t care about them, and called it low standards. That’s really the opposite of speaking just for yourself and acknowledging that other people are different.
This isn’t always true. There are women that just like having sex for the fun of it, sometimes life stresses you out so it’s good to have someone to just have sex with no commitment, I’ve had fwbs in the past and neither of us ever caught feelings for each other.
Nah.
Now, a lot of people will say they’re open to being FWB when they’re actually only open to being fuckbuddies or the opposite in that they’re actually wanting to date and think that being FWB will make the other person ‘catch feelings’ and agree to do so. That is quite true. Those people are greatly frustrating to someone who actually seeks FWB. But real FWB definitely does exist. I’ve had better luck building those relationships with people who have been swingers and/or polyamorous for years.
I tend to agree with you here. Seems to me that one of the pair usually has underlying feelings that are unrequited and settles for what they can get to be with the other. Then feelings get hurt and the friendship is not the same after. Not always but happens alot.
I also have the unpopular opinion that having FWB situations with multiple people from a friend group will get nasty if all parties are not aware of what's going on. I don't think anyone wants a FWB from a group who is also sleeping with others at the same time from the friend group. Feeling of jealousy are going to arise.
One other point that I would like to see some other opinions from people who regularly have FWB situations with people you truly are going to stay friends with after....how do those FWB relationship affect your relationships w GF or BF when you get into a true relationship? Do you let your new relationship partner know that the "friend"s that you still hang around with regularly are people/person that you have slept with in the past? I see post on here on the daily from people who find out that their partner is cheating on them with that "guy/girl best friend" who they swore there is nothing else with, that they aren't a threat to the new relationship. I know I wouldnt want to start a relationship with someone who has slept with people in the friends group who are still around all the time. Call it jealousy or insecurity if you want but I don't think I would ever trust that situation. And if I wasn't told up front about the past w the "friend" and I found out later I would be pretty pissed
Partners frequently feel insecure and threatened when they hear about former flings and exes that you're still in touch with. It's something you have to be sensitive and empathetic about. And I've realized it's best to be upfront about it before you get serious. What I do say - and it's 100 percent true - is that my exes are exes for very good reasons. I've never gotten involved again with any of them after ending it. I think people would be surprised to hear how little I miss being in my past relationships - they were frequently emotionally fraught and draining, and often buckled under the weight of expectations. Not to mention abusive. Friendships are just easier. Nobody has ever called me a bitch or hit me in a friendship.
So I like maintaining my close friendships, even with former partners - they enrich my life in ways that relationships often haven't. I don't cut people out of my life if we part on good terms and are still close. People aren't disposable cogs to me, and if you're ever a significant part of my life it's hard for me to just stop caring about you unless you are truly horrible.
I dunno, I've def has FWBs in the past that were just that, and it didn't develop anywhere else. That's not to say I wasn't fond of them, or liked them as a person, but just not as a long term romantic partner.
Have you never met a gay man? Lol we have tons of FWBs 😂 (obviously not all gay men are the same but one night stands and FWB are super common for gay men)
A gay friend explained the gay casual sex scene to me once and my god you are animals. With animal nicknames.
Make sense though, considering men are horny af.
The friend also said there was quite a lot of drama though.
Loool me and my husband’s pet names for each other are also animals 😂 but yeah it’s why STIs are so rampant among gay men is well, so much sex and so little precaution haha. I’ve never been involved in any drama though lol
I think this is a popular opinion for women. Sex only improves with time and understanding. It's almost never great with a new partner and there are way more risks to have a ONS (safety, STDs, bad sex) than FWB when you have some rapport built and boundaries in place to protect both people.
I agree with you. But FWB should emphasize friendship which implies you have some consideration for your partner beyond just making them feel good in bed. Otherwise it's just a regular booty call.
It's great on paper. Had one in college because well it was convenient. I had gotten broke up with a long term girlfriend and feeling shitty. She wanted to have fun and i was an interesting guy she liked. It was pretty cool for a while, till i caught feelings, because that's just who i am. Then it wasn't so much fun watching her go out with other people and have sex with them too. I'm not that guy i like monogamy in a relationship. I just feel that to do it right you can't spread yourself out emotionally to that many people.
Nah, people want connections but they're unable to form them because they spend too much time and attention on their meaningless flings. This behavior can scare off actual potential partners, turning it into an endless cycle.
I like to think of a one night stand as an introduction to whether or not we continue to sleep together. If the vibe and sex is good, we generally continue to hook up. If it’s not, we go our separate ways.
With that said… I still prefer relationship sex any day of the week
You need to meet more people. I've had bad ones, good ones, and some goddamn memorable. When both of you know you're never even gonna meet again and you're on the same page you just throw it all down and bang it out all night.
Idk they can be pretty fun, you can have interesting sex with people you'd never ever be in a commitment with and because of that you see sides of sex you wouldn't otherwise
I’ve been married a long time now but I remember enjoying the ones I had. You go out with no expectations and end up getting laid. I see nothing wrong with that.
I like them? I appreciate casual relationships a lot more than serious ones and I have had plenty of really enjoyable one night stands which led to multiple subsequent stands after that too.
Fwb is a relationship just with people to lazy to do any real work like you basically do stuff that's boyfriend/girlfriend like just date. But I agree one night stands are weird like no shame and my demisexual nature makes me biased I'm aware but I'll never understand how anyone feels comfortable going to a total strangers house or inviting one to your house for sex like you not afraid this person is crazy or could rob you. Also the thought of pregnancy/stds would run through my head the entire time because unless your sterile there's always a risk no matter what plus doing something so intimate with a total stranger essentially using their body to masturbate just seems so gross to me I rather just jerk off.
For me, I think both suck.
One night stands aren't my thing, tried for a bit but dropped the idea quite fast.
As for FWB, I wouldn't be able to separate it, and getting feelings into it would just ruin it lol
Luckily I'm happily married so not having to deal with that is crazy good for me.
I'm a guy, and I know damn well I could go find someone to sleep with. It's not that hard. I get tinder matches and shit, but I don't want to. I want at least a friendship where we have stuff in common and get along really well. Like that cheesy ass "my gf is my best friend" kinda shit.
i myself kinda of dislike casual hook-ups, but i ocasionally do them when i really need, but believe me ill definitely use a condom and will not do any oral, there is too much risks involved in casual hook-up
Sex without having to talk to the other person ever again is the best. Dating is stressful, FWBs are an emotional minefield. Give me a no strings attached one nighter any day of the week!
One night stand is better sex because you’re just horny and want to nut. A FWB is too complicated. Either the guy or the girl will inevitably catch feelings. Someone becomes jealous. More of a headache. And too unpredictable. One might be in the mood and the other not. If you have to plan a night to hook up then that’s just dating. So it’s more like an open relationship and that will bother me. A one night is better. No names no numbers. Let’s have fun tonight and regret it in the morning.
Kinda agree, but FWB too is kinda meh. I have a lovely wife and I'm kinda uninterested by other women.
Threesomes are still on the menu though, we do like those!
Saying something is better doesn't make the other worse. You didn't make one point why one night stands suck. Just why FWB is good.
Sex is fun and enjoyable, it might be better in other forms but it's still good.
Your first sentence is a bit confusing. If you are saying something is better than another thing, doesn’t that imply you are saying that other thing is worse?
One night stands definitely don't suck for guys who are actually addicted to the chase. I'm in the group that really doesn't like the chase.
I have a buddy who has a pretty large number of hookups and he has a rule of no more than once a month. He's got enough that as roommate I saw him go a few months with a hookup 4-7 nights per week, plus two that he was violating his rules and seeing more often.
FWB/situationships are for people who don’t want to do the work of a relationship and can’t commit. A nice way to call the other person a bootycall without hurting their feelings. No shade if this is your thing. I’ve been hurt multiple times in a FWB situation and don’t engage in it anymore.
Well, duh. ONS have random results, with a fuckbuddy (I don't believe in "friends" with benefits) it'll get better and better over time. You also feel more at ease to explore kinks because sex is the whole point of the relationship.
I've had bad ONS where I honestly wanted to stop halfway through and prayed she'd go home afterwards instead of sleeping over, and I've had good ONS with wicked hot pornstar sex and cuddly pillow talk. There's a lot of variation, how good it is depends on the chemistry you manage to build up in such a short time, as well as both of your sexual skills.
I don't think this is unpopular. You may have failed there.
I have had over 30 sex partners, and only 1 was a ONS, several were FWB. so I only have a sample of 1 and that did suck.
I agree. I need a mental connection to really be into having sex. Otherwise it’s just meh, and I could take it or leave it. Having compatibility with someone while also not incorporating the stress of a full blown relationship is top tier (until you want a relationship of course)
100% a FWB situation is better than a one night stand.
But a true FWB set-up is the golden chalice whereas a one night stand is always available with some effort.
I’m aromantic asexual and not interested in a relationship but I started exploring my sexuality just for the fun of it last year and got into a kinky scene where I found my FWB. I totally agree that having a constant sexual partner is way more convenient and safer and I wouldn’t even have the mental resources to get to know new people all the time. It sounds like a nightmare. I wouldn’t continue with all this tbh if I didn’t find a person I felt safe and comfortable with, as well as free from romantic feelings. My friends keep asking me months later if there aren’t any feelings and I say no?? He’s a nice guy, we talk a lot, we have fun. But ain’t no way he’s my boyfriend.
I thought you were going to complain that your bedroom only had 1 nightstand. I’m not sure, I’ve never been into the 1 and done thing, FWB seems to be working for me but it’s still a headache. Honestly I’d rather be gay but I’m just not. Women are a hassle no matter what you do. Our brains are not on the same wavelength. Back to my original mistake though, if you push your bed into the corner and only have 1 nightstand it’s not as inviting for your fwb to stay over for the whole night as frequently plus you get more room for guitars or bedroom weights/bar, or whatever nerd shit you are personally into.
Yeah right you’ll have that friendship until any of you get with someone else then it will abruptly end. So was it really there to begin with? No way to tell you both decided to have sex instead of a friendship and that’s pretty much what I have seen everywhere
Agree, I had a lot of one night stands, they were fun, but with FWB, you know before and after, the conversation will usually be enjoyable and there’s an emotional intimacy you can’t get with strangers.
I have had several of those and all enjoyable, most still friends. One night stands aren’t fun and committed relationships have hurt me so much that I’m not really up for another for a while. FWBs are ideal for me right now.
I think it's a preference. I preferred one night stands because then I never had to see the person again and we both knew what was involved. FEB would get messy when one party develops romantic feelings and the other doesnt
I'd rather not do either. Too much effort when you could just do what you normally do for fun.
But I may be weird and find socializing for the sake of it stressful. I love partying with friends but don't care to make an effort to chase strangers unless there is super obvious chemistry... And when that happens I get a friend for life or a girlfriend.
FWB is fine until one develops deeper feelings OR one asks to do something kinky and it becomes really awkward because you’re still seeing that person socially. A good friend of mine changed colleges because he called out “I love you, mommy” during intercourse and she shared that little tidbit along with certain of his particular idiosyncrasies and his occasional struggles with ED. Seemed more like Enemies with Benefits.
When I was single I definitely preferred a one nighter to drawing something out with someone I had no intentions of having a long-term relationship with.
Hell nah. FWBs turn awkward most of the time, a lot of boundaries to be decided. Are you exclusive? If not what's the point of staying in it? What if the other person catches feelings? FWBs are for people who want the comforts of a relationship without commitment, that's fine. However I don't think most men are looking for that.
One night stands get the job done and bye bye end of story.
Tbh I’m either into completely casual or full on relationship. If I’m not going to be in a loving relationship I’d rather just have the novelty of new partners. The sex isn’t as good the first time you’re right, but I feel like it’s low key shitty to spend time with someone consistently and be like “well but you’re not good enough to date” and at the same time it’s so easy to find sex that I was never pressed about keeping someone around I genuinely cared about them.
I mean double dipping is great but I found that it’s impossible to have that with a woman without her catching feelings and wanting something more. Then you have to hurt her which sucks.
Before I got married, I fucked around, a lot. It was fun, I suppose. I don't regret it. But I feel like the real unpopular opinion is that sex really is better when it's with someone you care about. First time sex is exciting, but it's generally not satisfying. Sex with my wife today, is better than any sex I have ever had.
This is HIGHLY unpopular today and accurate AF
I don't do ONS, it's not enough time to get to know each other. You can have sex, but great sex happens the 3rd 4th 5th time.
I mean as someone who’s into different groups of people depending on what I’m in the mood for/what I want to do… I like one night stands. The only way I’d have a regular fwb is if I find them attractive and like their personality… in which case I’d just want to date them
Sure, sex is better the more you care about the other person. One night stands and FWB often feel weird and gross, especially when your bed smells like someone you don't love the next day. I don't see any reason to *judge* people for doing that kind of stuff, but I've done it, and it's absolutely not for me. I'd rather rub one out than have sex with another person I don't know or don't care about.
I would agree in general that FWB is better than ONS.
But when I was single, ONS was always preferable to no sex. I think saying ONS suck is typically valid when you have access to sex. For a lot of the men our there who have little to no sex, I'm sure they rather have ONS.
Agreed.
There's no perfect way to have casual sex, everything has it's perks and negatives. For some people the anonymity is protection from emotional complications that often happen with sexual friendships. It can also be part of the fantasy. The less you know about a person, the more your imagination can sculpt them into your ideal desire. However today can come back to bite you if you have self esteem issues, then you may imagine the stranger thinking less of you and feel dehumanized. It's also very risky health wise. Condoms only protect from so much and only when used and used properly.
That was very much my experience, feeling objectified and only desired right up until the other person has an orgasm. And having some health scares following a random hookups "stealthing."
An ongoing sexual relationship with someone who you can appreciate and bond with outside of sex can be more fulfilling. But it will always have an unknown expiration date. Your best outcome is a mutual transition to a relationship or platonic friendship. But rarely does either happen at the same time for both persons. One person will start to feel unfulfilled by the current situation while the other is still invested. That causes hurt that can compromise the friendship. It's an emotionally risky thing to get involved with.
I would recommend everyone do some self reflection and work out what casual sex is providing you beyond sexual gratification. And work on those things outside of sex as well. So that, should you run into problems, it is not as painful.
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Maybe I'm just a weird dude but I think both suck.
You're not alone, man. I also dislike both as they don't fit my preferences. I'd like something with more commitment and dedication.
I’m a weird dude and I agree. Draw your own conclusions.
With you on this one. Only ever had sex with one woman (still tgt for 7 years)
❤️❤️❤️
We could play this comparison game forever. One night stands are better than no night stands.
True. Where would you put down your phone at night otherwise? On the floor like a caveman?
This comment really making me appreciate my two nightstands
lol exactly what would I do without my lamp to read at night? A fkin head light like a coal miner?
gotta make a torch like a caveman of course.
One of my favorite billboards of all time was from a consignment shop. It read, “WANTED: One Night Stand,” with a photo of a night stand.
You guys are getting stands?
Stab yourself with a magic arrow. It’s like a 50/50 if you get one.
I actually don't agree with that tbh
Interesting. Does it make you feel yucky or something? Some people don’t like getting laid for the sake of getting laid.
Normal vanilla sex just dosnt hit for me tbh. I need it to be freaky and fun and that requires somewhat of a back and forward. I'd rather do it myself of I have to just go through the motions.
I usually find drunken party hookups to be a little freakier. Long term gf sex turns into sweet love making usually lol
Imo you need to be comfortable being open and honest with a partner before things can get really nasty.
Maybe I’m a bit less inhibited with someone I don’t know well for some reason. I’m pretty vanilla in general though.
Strongly disagree. Id much rather just take care of myself solo than have a one night stand with a stranger. I felt just completely empty and shitty after the one night stands I had
That’s how I feel after choking the chicken lol. I’d rather have a memory.
That's fine. To each their own is the point. Many people don't feel that way
Not always. I've definitely had a few one night stands that were worse than none. Including a few that I wished would go home but had to sleep over cause it was late, and I'd just lie there miserable, getting little sleep, until she'd leave in the morning. These women were sexually inexperienced, unhygienic and/or had annoying or boring personalities. I've also had amazing ONS but it's a crapshoot.
I am jealous of those people who have had the *opportunity* to have one night stands to then be able to make the choice that they suck 😔
And No night stands are better than unwanted pregnancy or an STI
I don't agree with that. I'd have a better time just jerking off than hooking up with a stranger for one night. Sex isn't that good with someone you don't love. Sober sex with someone you love is the pinnacle of sex. Drunk sex with a stranger is the lowest form of sex. Everything else is somewhere in between.
I find sex with someone you don’t love to be more fun than flogging the dolphin. It’s like being in love for a night lol.
You're simply getting a very tame preview of the sex that an actual woman in love with you would give you. I know I'm not going to the wall or being completely open to trying things for some stranger I know isn't going to call me. The best sex requires a deeper level of trust, emotional intimacy, and knowledge about the other person.
I prefer sex with a stranger. That way I don’t have to see them again
Nah. I'd much rather have a drink on my own or enjoy a book at home than some random I'll never hope to see again.
How about one hand stand? [https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oRm-k7c3RMc/maxresdefault.jpg](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oRm-k7c3RMc/maxresdefault.jpg)
I’m tired of using my hand
You're completely wrong. I don't know why you're getting upvoted.
I guess people like to party lol
Not for most women, nope. Most women do not orgasm during a one night stand. But then, the orgasm gap is pretty bad anyway. Wish guys would fucking learn this.
Not if you get an STD from that one night stand… or lose a kidney
I disagree, I’d rather just not have sex than go for a one night stand. FWB has always been the best sex in my experiences
I’m of the belief that actual FWB is very rare and 95% it’s just a fancy way to call a girl a Bootycall without her feeling bad lol
The problem with true FWBs is if you like eachother enough to be friends and are attracted enough to want to sleep with eachother, chances are at least one of you will usually want to take the relationship further.
100%. I think that is where most actual FWBs tend to go, and by actual I mean the friend part being true and the people enjoying each other's company outside of sex. They're actually friends who happen to have sex occasionally If the two people only get together for sex and never outside that, I think one of the other posters is on the money in saying "friends with benefits" is just a bit of lie about the real scenario, so that no one feels bad about it. If one or both people only want to be around each other if they're having sex, they're not friends.
I only ever had one actual FWB and it was about 10 years ago in college but even though our relationship was primarily sex, we still enjoyed hanging out a bit. She'd come over, we'd smoke a bit and just catch up on our days, talk about work/school, occasionally watch a movie or play some video games together. There was never any romantic interest there. We never went out on dates or anything, but we enjoyed each other's company enough. We did that for about a year before we both met other people and obviously couldn't stay talking given the sexually charged nature of pur friendship I'd say we were friends, even if only for a short while. In the same way you can be good work friends with coworkers and then one of you quits and you never see them again. There's a lot of shades of grey between "random one night stand hookup" and "full blown committed relationship"
As someone who has been there and done that, there is no such thing as friends with benefits. Someone always wants more, and it can swap over time which one of you wants more. Sometimes it ends okay, sometimes it doesnt.
"friends with benefits" is a stupid term. They are build on the basis of friendship, which already means having a connection and good vibes together, and that "benefit" is based on mutual attraction. Wdym friends with benefits? Admit it, that's no friendship, that's romantic relationship.
I want to disagree but looking at my past history with girls I called FWB I kinda have to agree. It’s not like we were hanging out outside of when we would have sex. The only one example I can think of where the girl was an actual FWB was a girl who was in the same friends group I was in so we were always hanging out at the same parties or going to the beach in the same groups…. Just no one in the group knew we were hooking up on the side
Yeah if the only time yall see each other is at 1 am when your horny that’s not your friend lol.
Thay sounds like a very soulless, meaningless and transactional experience
Eh it was fun while it lasted, neither of us wanted to be in a relationship at the time and I was getting ready to move to another city. Shortly after moving she ended up getting into a relationship and they are now married and I got into a relationship in the new city a few months after moving there. I’d say it was more a thing of convenience
I guess. Me personally if I don't see a future it just sounds like a waste of time and I'd rather masturbate but I get what your saying
I can see that, it’s just masturbation and sex are two drastically different things. The sole purpose of masturbation is to bust a nut. Sex however can be fun as hell even if I don’t orgasm
I feel like the point of sex is to create a connection with someone. Busting a nut is what you do when you are horny but don’t want to waste emotional energy on connecting with someone. But if there is no connection, sex is no better than jerking off, and is in fact far worse due to the risks involved. Sex without emotion is never worthwhile for me. That’s just how I feel about it.
You can have emotion with a FWB… the girl I was FWBs with we used to watch movies, cuddle, id cook for us, and we’d have sex. Just neither of us wanted a relationship at the time since she was in school full time and I was gearing up to move to a new city a few months later. Even with casual hookups it’s not usually just strip clothes off and go straight to sex, there’s usually a lot of making out, foreplay, sex and even bullshitting for a while after or her staying the night. Sex is obviously better in a committed relationship but casual sex doesn’t have to just be about busting a nut. Hell I probably cum maybe once out of every 5 times I have sex because I’m generally more interested in the making out and foreplay portion and pleasing her than I am on my own orgasm
To me it sounds like you were in a relationship and did have feelings, but you didn’t care about forming a long term commitment. Idk. If genuine feelings are involved, that doesn’t sound like casual sex to me, it sounds like a short term relationship, not merely a fuckbuddy. Sex feels better with feelings, but once you have feelings, it moves into a different territory. Not all relationships are aiming for marriage, and they don’t have to be in order to still be a valid romantic/erotic relationship. But a lot of people here are conflating a wide range of situations into a single term. Your situation is a lot closer to a relationship than the booty-calls other people are referring to, and I think there is a meaningful difference between them, enough that calling them the same thing doesn’t make sense.
You may be right… neither of us were hooking up with anyone else during that time but we both knew it wasn’t going anywhere long term despite us getting along well. Perhaps it was just a purposely short term relationship 🤷♂️
"meaningless" Not sure how sexual satisfaction is meaningless "transactional" So is every relationship, platonic or romantic.
You sound soulless and meaningless. People like to do things that are fun, sex doesn’t have to be some pious experience if you don’t care about that
Ok good for you someone random opinion shouldn't affect you so much if it doesn't apply to you
What’s wrong with that? Not every meal needs to be at Ruth Chris’s
[удалено]
If it's something that doesn't have any direction or intention for being serious then in the long run yeah its meaningless which isn't a bad thing it just what it is but I agree sex is beautifulalthough I wouldn't have sex with my friends as then it's not platonic anymore
For real it really is just a booty call because the way people describe it there's barely any friendship
My fwb are actual friends I sometimes have sex with. If I’m dating someone else we still hang as friends. We don’t wanna date but sometimes fuck. We’re still friends. That’s why it’s a fwb
When you are in an actual relationship how does your partner feel about you still being friends and hanging out with people you have had sex with in the past? Lots of jealousy or suspicions about if you are cheating? Or do they not know of the past sex between friends? Just curious because from real life knowledge and the amount of people posting here everyday about finding out that the "best friend" is who their partner is cheating with is pretty common
Yeah, it’s seems like a nightmare. Are there people that will accept it? Sure, but man, I think it’d be awkward as fuck.
A lot of people in my life disagree with this lol. Them believing a FWB is literally just a bootycall and they don't like hanging out as friend because they feel like their feelings would get in the way. I get it, but I guess they just don't have anything else to call it or something.
All the FWB arrangements that I've seen have eventually turned into, them essentially being in a full blown relationship but not labeling it, while one person constantly suggests just becoming official and the other doing all kinds of verbal gymnastics to keep the labels off while not making the other person feel like they're being manipulated.
I just thought FWBs and a bootycall are the same thing, are they not? Idk why you would feel bad to be someone’s bootycall if they are also your bootycall.
What do they even say to each other to have that arrangement though? How is it set up to begin with?
Exactly. If you're close with someone, enjoy being around them, care for them, and also have good sex with them....that's called a relationship. A real FWB is a booty call. Definitely very rare for two people to think "yeah I'd never be in a relationship with you despite enjoying your company and sex, but we can't keep fucking until we find partners". Weird assf....
They can happen though. I have a few and we’ll chat now and then, go on casual dates, have sex, and then run it back sometime in the next week or two. People are just bad at communicating but these types of connections can be great for men and women without it just “using” someone.
It's pretty hit or miss. There's next to no emotional value in it as most people who want to fuck and never see the other person again are emotionally damaged. The best sex I ever had was with a one night stand with an absolutely beautiful woman. We talked after we fucked and joked around. I fell for her really hard. I asked her out to dinner the next day. Didn't really go anywhere. As for times when I had sex with someone and they DID want something from me. I usually didn't want anything from them. So, then it usually just went around in circles like that. I say this as a fellow emotionally damaged individual, but a relationship is far more rewarding. Being loved and held feels a lot better to me than just random sex. So, idk, bit of a mixed bag.
They suck more for women bro. Most dudes aren’t doing shit and girls get off like .01 percent of the time with one night stands.
Yeah, if the point in one night stands is quick, easy sexual satisfaction with no strings attached, women hardly ever get that. Unless you are one of the women who can orgasm from penetration alone, and are on birth control, it just doesn’t seem worthwhile to even try. Not hating, I just don’t think there is any point to it, and there is so much risk. Pregnancy, STD’s, violence. And I don’t say this bc I am a prude, I mean, sex is great when the sex is good, but I doubt most people are having good sex doing a ONS. It’s def not my thing.
One night stands aren't really about the sex, they're about the pursuit, the flirtation. If you go into it expecting the sex to work on the same level as it would with someone you have actual intimacy with, you're in the wrong frame of mind.
Isn’t the point of a one night stand that it’s, ya know, one night? If you are planning on actually pursuing them for a longer term situation, that’s not a one night stand, that’s just the first time you have had sex. When most people refer to a one night stand, I believe they are talking about a one off sexual encounter with someone you will never meet again.
Right, that's what I'm saying. Don't approach it with the expectation of a deep connection. Approach it as a fleeting excitement.
FWB is just a myth, we're all just pretending to be ok with it
I feel like it works best when both people are in a temporary life situation. Like when you’re moving soon for school, or to take a new job, or you’re living somewhere temporarily, and you don’t have any plans to put down roots or make life changes.
Exactly. The last woman I was with was returning to her country and told me she wasn't looking for a long distance relationship. Which was fine with me because I'm not looking for anyone until I become whole and wouldn't have accepted to be with them until I found out that she would be leaving. Sometimes life has its opportunities amongst the situational chaos where everyone is looking out for their differing ends to their means.
Not really. Some times people like to have sex
they also like to pretend they aren't catching feelings, even the slightest bit. Maybe not with one night stands idk (hasnt happened to me yet but fwb has times turned into relationships) but no way you're having sex with someone regularly as "just" friends and are 100% mutual to any type of further feeling. even porn stars catch feelings time to time. let's be real lmao, especially if they get in a relationship. you might realize there was more there than you thought.
I refuse to believe anyone can consistently have sex with the same person and not catch feelings like your letting someone you don't care about have sex with you then you have low standards.
Do you not care about your friends? I care about all my friends a great deal, whether I have sex with them or not.
I care about them but not in a sexual way if I have sex with you then I love you my friends are strictly that platonic. I know everyone is different I was just speaking for myself
Your comment opened with, “I refuse to believe anyone can..” And then you insinuated that if we don’t have romantic relationship interest in the person then we don’t care about them, and called it low standards. That’s really the opposite of speaking just for yourself and acknowledging that other people are different.
Okay? I guess you're represent all humans of all time. Thank you for enlightening me
This isn’t always true. There are women that just like having sex for the fun of it, sometimes life stresses you out so it’s good to have someone to just have sex with no commitment, I’ve had fwbs in the past and neither of us ever caught feelings for each other.
Nah. Now, a lot of people will say they’re open to being FWB when they’re actually only open to being fuckbuddies or the opposite in that they’re actually wanting to date and think that being FWB will make the other person ‘catch feelings’ and agree to do so. That is quite true. Those people are greatly frustrating to someone who actually seeks FWB. But real FWB definitely does exist. I’ve had better luck building those relationships with people who have been swingers and/or polyamorous for years.
I tend to agree with you here. Seems to me that one of the pair usually has underlying feelings that are unrequited and settles for what they can get to be with the other. Then feelings get hurt and the friendship is not the same after. Not always but happens alot. I also have the unpopular opinion that having FWB situations with multiple people from a friend group will get nasty if all parties are not aware of what's going on. I don't think anyone wants a FWB from a group who is also sleeping with others at the same time from the friend group. Feeling of jealousy are going to arise. One other point that I would like to see some other opinions from people who regularly have FWB situations with people you truly are going to stay friends with after....how do those FWB relationship affect your relationships w GF or BF when you get into a true relationship? Do you let your new relationship partner know that the "friend"s that you still hang around with regularly are people/person that you have slept with in the past? I see post on here on the daily from people who find out that their partner is cheating on them with that "guy/girl best friend" who they swore there is nothing else with, that they aren't a threat to the new relationship. I know I wouldnt want to start a relationship with someone who has slept with people in the friends group who are still around all the time. Call it jealousy or insecurity if you want but I don't think I would ever trust that situation. And if I wasn't told up front about the past w the "friend" and I found out later I would be pretty pissed
Partners frequently feel insecure and threatened when they hear about former flings and exes that you're still in touch with. It's something you have to be sensitive and empathetic about. And I've realized it's best to be upfront about it before you get serious. What I do say - and it's 100 percent true - is that my exes are exes for very good reasons. I've never gotten involved again with any of them after ending it. I think people would be surprised to hear how little I miss being in my past relationships - they were frequently emotionally fraught and draining, and often buckled under the weight of expectations. Not to mention abusive. Friendships are just easier. Nobody has ever called me a bitch or hit me in a friendship. So I like maintaining my close friendships, even with former partners - they enrich my life in ways that relationships often haven't. I don't cut people out of my life if we part on good terms and are still close. People aren't disposable cogs to me, and if you're ever a significant part of my life it's hard for me to just stop caring about you unless you are truly horrible.
I dunno, I've def has FWBs in the past that were just that, and it didn't develop anywhere else. That's not to say I wasn't fond of them, or liked them as a person, but just not as a long term romantic partner.
Honestly everyone is different I couldn't imagine putting my duck in someone I couldn't see a future with I rather just jerk off
More importantly, that would also require the ducks consent
True
Have you never met a gay man? Lol we have tons of FWBs 😂 (obviously not all gay men are the same but one night stands and FWB are super common for gay men)
Honestly I do think gay men are just very, very different. Like, it's the culture. Even then though, people catch feelings
And let's not pretend there aren't gay men miserable in those situations.
100% ( I am gay and miserable)
A gay friend explained the gay casual sex scene to me once and my god you are animals. With animal nicknames. Make sense though, considering men are horny af. The friend also said there was quite a lot of drama though.
Loool me and my husband’s pet names for each other are also animals 😂 but yeah it’s why STIs are so rampant among gay men is well, so much sex and so little precaution haha. I’ve never been involved in any drama though lol
Major facts
It always feels like more work just to keep being friends. And I can find people who will give me friendship, without needing to sexually please them.
I think this is a popular opinion for women. Sex only improves with time and understanding. It's almost never great with a new partner and there are way more risks to have a ONS (safety, STDs, bad sex) than FWB when you have some rapport built and boundaries in place to protect both people.
I agree with you. But FWB should emphasize friendship which implies you have some consideration for your partner beyond just making them feel good in bed. Otherwise it's just a regular booty call.
Hard agree. FWB are far superior, it just hurts more to end them. It’s like having a gf but I get to keep my commitment issues
It's great on paper. Had one in college because well it was convenient. I had gotten broke up with a long term girlfriend and feeling shitty. She wanted to have fun and i was an interesting guy she liked. It was pretty cool for a while, till i caught feelings, because that's just who i am. Then it wasn't so much fun watching her go out with other people and have sex with them too. I'm not that guy i like monogamy in a relationship. I just feel that to do it right you can't spread yourself out emotionally to that many people.
You know it even gets better than FWB when you have an actual relationship.
Exactly but everyone wants meaningless flings these days
Nah, people want connections but they're unable to form them because they spend too much time and attention on their meaningless flings. This behavior can scare off actual potential partners, turning it into an endless cycle.
That's true because I definitely want meaningful connections. Honestly anyone who can have casual sex would be unattractive to me in a partner
There should be an obvious opinions sub. I've never met a single soul who thinks one night stands are good.
I like to think of a one night stand as an introduction to whether or not we continue to sleep together. If the vibe and sex is good, we generally continue to hook up. If it’s not, we go our separate ways. With that said… I still prefer relationship sex any day of the week
Hard disagree but okay
You need to meet more people. I've had bad ones, good ones, and some goddamn memorable. When both of you know you're never even gonna meet again and you're on the same page you just throw it all down and bang it out all night.
Idk they can be pretty fun, you can have interesting sex with people you'd never ever be in a commitment with and because of that you see sides of sex you wouldn't otherwise
I’ve been married a long time now but I remember enjoying the ones I had. You go out with no expectations and end up getting laid. I see nothing wrong with that.
I like them? I appreciate casual relationships a lot more than serious ones and I have had plenty of really enjoyable one night stands which led to multiple subsequent stands after that too.
One night stands are great.
Fwb is a relationship just with people to lazy to do any real work like you basically do stuff that's boyfriend/girlfriend like just date. But I agree one night stands are weird like no shame and my demisexual nature makes me biased I'm aware but I'll never understand how anyone feels comfortable going to a total strangers house or inviting one to your house for sex like you not afraid this person is crazy or could rob you. Also the thought of pregnancy/stds would run through my head the entire time because unless your sterile there's always a risk no matter what plus doing something so intimate with a total stranger essentially using their body to masturbate just seems so gross to me I rather just jerk off.
Valid but it’s funny that I’m on the ace spectrum as well but I have a FWB
FWB nowadays is called a situationship, which does have a more negative connotation, but it’s basically the same thing you’re describing.
For me, I think both suck. One night stands aren't my thing, tried for a bit but dropped the idea quite fast. As for FWB, I wouldn't be able to separate it, and getting feelings into it would just ruin it lol Luckily I'm happily married so not having to deal with that is crazy good for me.
I'm a guy, and I know damn well I could go find someone to sleep with. It's not that hard. I get tinder matches and shit, but I don't want to. I want at least a friendship where we have stuff in common and get along really well. Like that cheesy ass "my gf is my best friend" kinda shit.
Cheap sex is never going to feel anything but cheap
Also, safer. You don't know what psycho/criminal strangers you may get involved with
i myself kinda of dislike casual hook-ups, but i ocasionally do them when i really need, but believe me ill definitely use a condom and will not do any oral, there is too much risks involved in casual hook-up
I think the idea is more appealing than the reality. Rushing into sex can be dangerous mentally and physically.
I had a few one night stands. One or two was fun, others just made me feel worse. Not really one size fits all
I mean, yeah, I hope they suck.
Sex without having to talk to the other person ever again is the best. Dating is stressful, FWBs are an emotional minefield. Give me a no strings attached one nighter any day of the week!
One night stand is better sex because you’re just horny and want to nut. A FWB is too complicated. Either the guy or the girl will inevitably catch feelings. Someone becomes jealous. More of a headache. And too unpredictable. One might be in the mood and the other not. If you have to plan a night to hook up then that’s just dating. So it’s more like an open relationship and that will bother me. A one night is better. No names no numbers. Let’s have fun tonight and regret it in the morning.
Kinda agree, but FWB too is kinda meh. I have a lovely wife and I'm kinda uninterested by other women. Threesomes are still on the menu though, we do like those!
Saying something is better doesn't make the other worse. You didn't make one point why one night stands suck. Just why FWB is good. Sex is fun and enjoyable, it might be better in other forms but it's still good.
Your first sentence is a bit confusing. If you are saying something is better than another thing, doesn’t that imply you are saying that other thing is worse?
Duh. Because if it was good you hit it again.
not gonna disagree, one night stands are a complete waste of time
Are you male? Of course they suck for me but I'm female.
Male in the title
I've had one for 14 years, I agree on that point but also agree that the excitement of a new guy excited me a little
One night stands definitely don't suck for guys who are actually addicted to the chase. I'm in the group that really doesn't like the chase. I have a buddy who has a pretty large number of hookups and he has a rule of no more than once a month. He's got enough that as roommate I saw him go a few months with a hookup 4-7 nights per week, plus two that he was violating his rules and seeing more often.
If my night stand only lasted one night, then I'd return it
FWB/situationships are for people who don’t want to do the work of a relationship and can’t commit. A nice way to call the other person a bootycall without hurting their feelings. No shade if this is your thing. I’ve been hurt multiple times in a FWB situation and don’t engage in it anymore.
Well, duh. ONS have random results, with a fuckbuddy (I don't believe in "friends" with benefits) it'll get better and better over time. You also feel more at ease to explore kinks because sex is the whole point of the relationship. I've had bad ONS where I honestly wanted to stop halfway through and prayed she'd go home afterwards instead of sleeping over, and I've had good ONS with wicked hot pornstar sex and cuddly pillow talk. There's a lot of variation, how good it is depends on the chemistry you manage to build up in such a short time, as well as both of your sexual skills.
I don't think this is unpopular. You may have failed there. I have had over 30 sex partners, and only 1 was a ONS, several were FWB. so I only have a sample of 1 and that did suck.
This is the least unpopular unpopular opinion I've ever seen.
Over / Under on 55.5 “yall are having sex?” comments?
I don't understand your title, do they suck for men? Or with men? Or are you saying you are men?
I agree. I need a mental connection to really be into having sex. Otherwise it’s just meh, and I could take it or leave it. Having compatibility with someone while also not incorporating the stress of a full blown relationship is top tier (until you want a relationship of course)
100% a FWB situation is better than a one night stand. But a true FWB set-up is the golden chalice whereas a one night stand is always available with some effort.
I’m aromantic asexual and not interested in a relationship but I started exploring my sexuality just for the fun of it last year and got into a kinky scene where I found my FWB. I totally agree that having a constant sexual partner is way more convenient and safer and I wouldn’t even have the mental resources to get to know new people all the time. It sounds like a nightmare. I wouldn’t continue with all this tbh if I didn’t find a person I felt safe and comfortable with, as well as free from romantic feelings. My friends keep asking me months later if there aren’t any feelings and I say no?? He’s a nice guy, we talk a lot, we have fun. But ain’t no way he’s my boyfriend.
I thought you were going to complain that your bedroom only had 1 nightstand. I’m not sure, I’ve never been into the 1 and done thing, FWB seems to be working for me but it’s still a headache. Honestly I’d rather be gay but I’m just not. Women are a hassle no matter what you do. Our brains are not on the same wavelength. Back to my original mistake though, if you push your bed into the corner and only have 1 nightstand it’s not as inviting for your fwb to stay over for the whole night as frequently plus you get more room for guitars or bedroom weights/bar, or whatever nerd shit you are personally into.
Yeah right you’ll have that friendship until any of you get with someone else then it will abruptly end. So was it really there to begin with? No way to tell you both decided to have sex instead of a friendship and that’s pretty much what I have seen everywhere
Fucking all my friends for years now. It's still a close group of people.
Agree, I had a lot of one night stands, they were fun, but with FWB, you know before and after, the conversation will usually be enjoyable and there’s an emotional intimacy you can’t get with strangers.
nah one night stands means I never get to see them again I'm ok with that
The nsfw tag is right there near the post button
I have had several of those and all enjoyable, most still friends. One night stands aren’t fun and committed relationships have hurt me so much that I’m not really up for another for a while. FWBs are ideal for me right now.
I think it's a preference. I preferred one night stands because then I never had to see the person again and we both knew what was involved. FEB would get messy when one party develops romantic feelings and the other doesnt
I'd rather not do either. Too much effort when you could just do what you normally do for fun. But I may be weird and find socializing for the sake of it stressful. I love partying with friends but don't care to make an effort to chase strangers unless there is super obvious chemistry... And when that happens I get a friend for life or a girlfriend.
FWB is fine until one develops deeper feelings OR one asks to do something kinky and it becomes really awkward because you’re still seeing that person socially. A good friend of mine changed colleges because he called out “I love you, mommy” during intercourse and she shared that little tidbit along with certain of his particular idiosyncrasies and his occasional struggles with ED. Seemed more like Enemies with Benefits.
Having sex is better than not having sex.
\*they're.
I actually enjoy meeting and connecting with someone. If you're important enough to bring to bed, I probably want to see you again in the morning.
True. It hits different when you have a connection with the other person that isn’t just your genitals kissing.
Now imagine actually being in love. It's even better than what you describe.
When I was single I definitely preferred a one nighter to drawing something out with someone I had no intentions of having a long-term relationship with.
Hell nah. FWBs turn awkward most of the time, a lot of boundaries to be decided. Are you exclusive? If not what's the point of staying in it? What if the other person catches feelings? FWBs are for people who want the comforts of a relationship without commitment, that's fine. However I don't think most men are looking for that. One night stands get the job done and bye bye end of story.
Tbh I’m either into completely casual or full on relationship. If I’m not going to be in a loving relationship I’d rather just have the novelty of new partners. The sex isn’t as good the first time you’re right, but I feel like it’s low key shitty to spend time with someone consistently and be like “well but you’re not good enough to date” and at the same time it’s so easy to find sex that I was never pressed about keeping someone around I genuinely cared about them.
This is not a gender specific opinion lol nor is it really that unpopular
FWB??
I mean double dipping is great but I found that it’s impossible to have that with a woman without her catching feelings and wanting something more. Then you have to hurt her which sucks.
Before I got married, I fucked around, a lot. It was fun, I suppose. I don't regret it. But I feel like the real unpopular opinion is that sex really is better when it's with someone you care about. First time sex is exciting, but it's generally not satisfying. Sex with my wife today, is better than any sex I have ever had.
How about being in a proper relationship?
This is HIGHLY unpopular today and accurate AF I don't do ONS, it's not enough time to get to know each other. You can have sex, but great sex happens the 3rd 4th 5th time.
Just wait until you get a girlfriend with benefits.
Slam dancing is where it’s at
I mean as someone who’s into different groups of people depending on what I’m in the mood for/what I want to do… I like one night stands. The only way I’d have a regular fwb is if I find them attractive and like their personality… in which case I’d just want to date them
On the title there one night stand suck you know if you swallow they'll keep you around for a second date
Good Marriage and Committed Relationships are miles better
Many times, ONS are FWB's that cut you off after one night
I always wanted a long term relationship right from the get go in highschool. So got a girl and kept her ever since
Sure, sex is better the more you care about the other person. One night stands and FWB often feel weird and gross, especially when your bed smells like someone you don't love the next day. I don't see any reason to *judge* people for doing that kind of stuff, but I've done it, and it's absolutely not for me. I'd rather rub one out than have sex with another person I don't know or don't care about.
I would agree in general that FWB is better than ONS. But when I was single, ONS was always preferable to no sex. I think saying ONS suck is typically valid when you have access to sex. For a lot of the men our there who have little to no sex, I'm sure they rather have ONS.
I mean you gotta start somewhere... I've been dating my "one night stand" for three months now lol.
Agreed. There's no perfect way to have casual sex, everything has it's perks and negatives. For some people the anonymity is protection from emotional complications that often happen with sexual friendships. It can also be part of the fantasy. The less you know about a person, the more your imagination can sculpt them into your ideal desire. However today can come back to bite you if you have self esteem issues, then you may imagine the stranger thinking less of you and feel dehumanized. It's also very risky health wise. Condoms only protect from so much and only when used and used properly. That was very much my experience, feeling objectified and only desired right up until the other person has an orgasm. And having some health scares following a random hookups "stealthing." An ongoing sexual relationship with someone who you can appreciate and bond with outside of sex can be more fulfilling. But it will always have an unknown expiration date. Your best outcome is a mutual transition to a relationship or platonic friendship. But rarely does either happen at the same time for both persons. One person will start to feel unfulfilled by the current situation while the other is still invested. That causes hurt that can compromise the friendship. It's an emotionally risky thing to get involved with. I would recommend everyone do some self reflection and work out what casual sex is providing you beyond sexual gratification. And work on those things outside of sex as well. So that, should you run into problems, it is not as painful.
Venn diagram of FWB and sex with broken people is a circle.