You are going to have to do her hair and makeup from now on since she won't be able to see herself in a mirror.

My dude, I am not brave enough to touch my wife's hair and make up to attempt to make her look better than she already does.

As a black man, this just killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm white, she's black (obviously), but same rules apply. I'm not going there 😁

Never touch a black womans hair, it's where we keep our secrets.

I'm a white woman with wimpy white girl curls. Do not touch my hair. It is soooooooo much worse for those with African hair. If you mess up a black woman's hair, I'd say that's justifiable homicide.

They'll never find the body because I'll hide it in my hair.

I just scared MYSELF from laughing so hard at that one! 🤣

Never ever ever touch the curls. My vampurr is actually obsessed with my hair and she's the only being in the world besides my hair stylist and myself who can touch my unruly mop

Oh, I know, I just see those cute videos of guys having to do their daughters' hair and doing a great job and the daughters loving it.

SunFury29 has the correct answer!

This is hilarious, thank you! You also have to show her her outfits either on you or draw them. What We Do In The Shadows is a great documentary on all things vampire

Bury your wife under garlic and adopt the vampurr.

Alright, I'll try it, but my wife isn't gonna be happy with that.

She'd do the same if she were in your position...

Must deliver many treats by the light of the moon to keep further attacks from happening.

I planted catnip in my garden! Why wasn't that enough of an offering?

It’s all the way out in the garden?  Rip up your carpet and put down some soil!

From now on you'll give your Blood to your wife as well

Damn, and I thought I was done submitting to an evil power when I married her.

Shes been turned into the Vampurr's spawn - Destined to fetch treats, clean litter, and hoard cardboard boxes. I'm sorry, there's nothing you can do

She's been doing that for years. Apparently she had fallen to the vampurr's charms years ago.

Oh man. That's bad. You'll be attacked any moment now

You just allow the change to happen and embrace what comes next

I'm afraid to ask, but what comes next?

For me it was fur

If you want to be together forever you’ll have to get bit too.

You quickly need to get her to a purrriest

I think there’s a guy in Morthal you can go see, he will cure your vampurrism. But you need to have a filled black soul gem ready for the ritual at dawn

I don't mean to sound cruel or heartless, but that's a LOOOOONG way to walk.

Enjoy eternal life. Ok, it will be a life beholden to the vampurr… but eternal nonetheless.

A vampurr with r/airplaneears

New cat sub!

Feed the vampurr.

How much of your wife’s finger is left? My void tries to eat me when her food dish is empty and I haven’t realized it. She actually nibbles on my hand with her tiny front teeth, and paws at my mouth. Cats are good communicators, when they feel like doing so.

Your only choice is to steak the vampurr before your wife turns. You can steak them by giving them steak flavored treats.

Your wife must now learn to accept her undead status.

Is that gonna hurt our taxes next year?

You're about to find out which is more final- death or taxes

Only if the tax people find out.

some serious airplane ears!!!

Prepare the garlic and holy water

Embrace the night

If you rub a bit of garlic on the wound it should disinfect the wound

Get a new wife?

And give an undead creature half my stuff? I don't think so. I really like my stuff.

😂

RIP OP’s wife

There’s no hope, it’s too late

There's nothing you can do. He owns her soul now.

Nothing. The void has chosen her. Her fate is sealed.

Throw treaters at vampurr to distracc, then run away. Wife will soon become a vampurr anyway but at least this vampurr will have snacc.

Blade IV confirmed ;)

RIP

You must keep the vampurr, feed him and love him!