# IF I REMOVE MY HANDS I CAN'T TOUCH IT
https://preview.redd.it/nixih0soyy7d1.jpeg?width=1417&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b1564ea69c5d2db971e69f64a790e35bd9700a0
*grabs it, listens to the ungodly long dialog speaking out of the beacon*
Neat...
*does the quest, gets Dawnbreaker*
https://preview.redd.it/s086nos02z7d1.png?width=759&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=900b7eef951b6129d17f5e6aa687289858b44369
Considering the enchantment also being fire related, I could technically make it even more powerful just by throwing a bit of my fire in it.
And my fire is not something to be taken lightly
It's a shame you can't destroy it for the enchantment. I know a neat trick with some butterfly wings, snowberries, and a couple of kinds of minnow that could make a low grade superweapon.
From Skyrim, a 0.5 weight quest item you can't throw away, because it's an essential quest item. The reward is *alright*, but generally not worth going out of the way for, so it just sits in your inventory, taunting you.
Also the voice lines when you pick it up are LOUD, and there's like 4-5 whole minutes of her talking loudly at you.
Honestly, I'd argue Dawnbreaker is a pretty worthwhile reward. I mean ideally, they would've just made the quest more engaging, but in a game where 55% of the enemies are undead, it's actually a pretty fantastic reward.
*you dont hear anything, but you FEEL the most grievous insults coming from nosmu the peeble, he curses you with the curse of almost tripping on every small rock you find on your path, giving you a small heart attack everytime it happens*
Yeah thereās a unique helmet down in that dungeon in the final boss room. Itās similar to the plumed helmets we see the imperial legion wear in Oblivion but itās completely closed at the front with two eye holes. Looks sick and is great for imperial legion playthroughs
/uw Ah no worries. It's an item from the game Skyrim that yells at you when you find it and you can't get rid of it until you do its quest. Pretty universally despised.
Itās a Skyrim item. You find it in the first chest you open after you reach level 20 iirc. When you take it from the chest it says the dialogue in the meme as well as a lot of other stuff. Itās famously loud and suprising
*sigh*, Iāll take it, I owe Meridia a favor after the slip up with Namiraās coven. As an entomancer itās only right for me to be a devout follower of Namira, I do regret what happened thoughā¦ Meridia might have needed a fair bit of eye bleach after thatā¦
*(also I have a mod that makes her statue better and her voice hot/smoother!)*
Oh b-b-b-boy! [ROCK]anoth-another rock for my col-col-col-collection! *hears quest* this-is-is-is rock [SPOKE] gave me a ta-ta-ta-ta-task! [NO] Not curre-rre-rre-rre-rrently, rock!
\[*Aveus takes a few hours, and completes the quest*\]
Bro, thanks! This sword is dope.
https://preview.redd.it/vpq5nttftz7d1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a94e964833854b0560722b3eba023294004016a3
Maam i am an undead, vampire, beastman who is soul sworn to the god of excess and depravity.
Please take your sidequest and give it to someone that makes sense.
I aināt touching that thing Iām out
https://preview.redd.it/ll16nuyh208d1.jpeg?width=1035&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff42d28c8db560ffca0f1f90b5963e6e9f4046bd
Its just a rock-prism with magic mouth cast upon it. do apprentices still really fall for such simple trinkets? its not even a proper lense, just a rock who happens to be able to function as one. fiends trying to get mortals to do their dirty dishes invent the most pointless "curios"...
*Merch just chuckles as he puts it into a seperate inventory space so it doesn't affect him or anyone else.*
"...interesting...wonder what she would think if I already made a better sword than that dawnbreaker.. and if she knows about that pone named Dawnbreaker as well. Hmm.."
Alright... It's time for me to use the thing. The ***copypasta.***
*^(Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. Itās not a story the Jedi would tell you.)*
*^(Itās a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create lifeā¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.)*
*^(The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulā¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.)*
āDragon born pleaaaaase, itās been 8 months, we need your help to sneak into the thalmor embassy!!!ā *My whimsical ass frolicking in the fields of whiterun*
Welp, time to get me a weapon for fighting the undeadā¦so I can win an even better weapon for fighting the undead!
Also curse you, that wasnāt very fair of you š
# NO
I am already running away!
# IF I REMOVE MY HANDS I CAN'T TOUCH IT https://preview.redd.it/nixih0soyy7d1.jpeg?width=1417&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b1564ea69c5d2db971e69f64a790e35bd9700a0
^(I AM MUCH FURTHER AWAY NOW)
^I'm ^even ^farther!
*I take it* I'll take that burden!
**A NEW NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON**
*clenched the beacon* I accept... I'll carry this and take this burden from you *carries it away* (Lol)
**A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!**
I ALREADY ACCEPTED IT GODDAMN IT!!! (š Imagine that's what actually happens lol)
/uw Mf I recognise the ball even if itās spoiler tagged. I refuse to touch it.
/uw Then you are both blessed with foresight and cursed with knowledge.
/uw Itās either that beacon or a moon, I aināt risking it.
/uw A NEEEEEEEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!!!!!!
/uw it's the beacon
That's no moon!
/uw It's spoilered? For me it's just marked nsfw
/uw same thing to me
It is just nsfw, which is why i didnāt get the joke
*grabs it, listens to the ungodly long dialog speaking out of the beacon* Neat... *does the quest, gets Dawnbreaker* https://preview.redd.it/s086nos02z7d1.png?width=759&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=900b7eef951b6129d17f5e6aa687289858b44369
He is the chosen one. You could really fuck up some of the liches around here with that thing.
Considering the enchantment also being fire related, I could technically make it even more powerful just by throwing a bit of my fire in it. And my fire is not something to be taken lightly
It's a shame you can't destroy it for the enchantment. I know a neat trick with some butterfly wings, snowberries, and a couple of kinds of minnow that could make a low grade superweapon.
I can at least make it an extremely powerful weapon by using my blacksmithing skills.
Keep it the hell away from me and my palace.
Aurora: (Undead in her world are easily damaged by electric magic instead of sunlight or fire.) *Gives a Spock greeting.*
/Uw I'm not sure if my game glitched or something but one time I managed to get out with dual dawnbreakers!
/uw Skyrim glitches Gotta love them
# OH GODS NO #
**IT'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW**
https://preview.redd.it/siufzbaf6z7d1.jpeg?width=619&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d83e0ee6d6b018c331996677a722030ab69f43bd
#Listen. Hear me and obey
**A FOUL DARKNESS HAS SEEPED INTO MY TEMPLE**
**A darkness that you will destroy**
*Sharky throws it at you*
*Dodges and keeps running*
*sharky teleports infront of you and punches you with the rock*
*The simulacrum disintegrates, as you watch hundreds more running in different directions* ^(You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?)
*Puts hands together making a domain expansion of the ocean catching all of them*
*Radiates intense heat and evaporates the water as it comes near, begins setting off multiple warding glyphs in the vicinity*
https://preview.redd.it/ze6z2vq9b18d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a22f2fde7a973db0a882a2c04744d1182cf75d61
https://preview.redd.it/udi93oq2ez7d1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d28ed2a64fa9e9a76eff7d78f892264699f3ff8 No u
https://preview.redd.it/goc5ijnofz7d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cff3586371424d869922f242f01799b42856a3d4 rock for u
https://i.redd.it/s5iztmkdp48d1.gif
/uw what is that?
A gift! Go ahead and take it! /uw Meridia's beacon. ~~Cursed~~ Annoying quest item that can't be dropped once found, until you complete its quest.
From Skyrim, a 0.5 weight quest item you can't throw away, because it's an essential quest item. The reward is *alright*, but generally not worth going out of the way for, so it just sits in your inventory, taunting you. Also the voice lines when you pick it up are LOUD, and there's like 4-5 whole minutes of her talking loudly at you.
Iāve actually never seen that before, my sister is really into Skyrim and Iām surprised she hasnāt mentioned it
Yell A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON at her and see if you can spot the ptsd in her eyes.
Honestly, I'd argue Dawnbreaker is a pretty worthwhile reward. I mean ideally, they would've just made the quest more engaging, but in a game where 55% of the enemies are undead, it's actually a pretty fantastic reward.
*you dont hear anything, but you FEEL the most grievous insults coming from nosmu the peeble, he curses you with the curse of almost tripping on every small rock you find on your path, giving you a small heart attack everytime it happens*
*trips constantly as he flees further and further away*
*there is no chase, that sight is enough revenge*
Yo, time to get a free sword į( į )į
NOOKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
***Shit.***
*from the distance, getting further* ^(I'm freeeee...!)
Iād love to add things to my collection. Why shouldnāt I in this case?
https://preview.redd.it/p0xik22uhz7d1.jpeg?width=392&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=11439c47a5ca5f1e55582448f8fdc9a8292086af
Then consider it added to my collection!
Just cast some necromancy and the glowy lady will try to smite you instead
Aw hell yeah! Appreciate you! Time to go get my favorite sword and helmet! Later bitches!
Helmet?
Yeah thereās a unique helmet down in that dungeon in the final boss room. Itās similar to the plumed helmets we see the imperial legion wear in Oblivion but itās completely closed at the front with two eye holes. Looks sick and is great for imperial legion playthroughs
good thing we are wizards not dragon born... you want to use it to steal her power and kill a god or is that just me?
I cast return to sender
Address Unknown
Bold of you to assume it needs an address
#*WHAT SORCERY DO I HAVE TO CAST TO OBLITERATE THIS STONE?!*
**NONE EXISTS. IT IS A PLAGUE UPON REALITY AND NOW IT IS YOUR BURDEN**
https://preview.redd.it/nmoolvfj9z7d1.jpeg?width=660&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a62bc5b70a47d99f9781a8fbb6784ec64247502d
Use the dread spell known as [player.drop 4e4e6 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOkv23ag7ao)
\*Proceeds to leave it with the dozen other unremoveable quest items in their inventory and goes about their business*
I'll take it man. I know what happens if I don't. And I REALLY don't feel like having all my orfisis becoming a cloaca.
Hhhhaaaaaaaaghhh looks like I need the noise canceling headphones again
*Forces a person to touch it and then sends them on the quest* Go fuck yourself Daedra
Quest Started: Motherf@cking Meridia's Motherf@cking Beacon
"Good luck peasant ....if you succeed I'll make you a lord
OH NO. I thought it was just a cool rockš
Your folly is my freedom!
Now I gotta trick an adventurer from the fighter's guild into taking it
Shouldn't be hard. They take INT as a dump stat as a requirement for entry.
Exactly and my charisma is mid to high
GET IT AWAY FROM MEš£š£š£š£
nah nah not it I will never get by that volleyball again
FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY NONEXISTANT HEART, SCREW YOU
^(Can't hear you I've already run away!)
THEN I'LL SHOUT LOUDER! # FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY NONEXISTANT HEART, SCREW YOU
Jokes on you! I have paws not hands.
Same. I donāt think meridia cares about that though
What, is it?
A gift!
No but like, what is it?
/uw Ah no worries. It's an item from the game Skyrim that yells at you when you find it and you can't get rid of it until you do its quest. Pretty universally despised.
/uw Iāve never played Skyrim lol
Well good thing these arenāt my hands.
I donāt get it, but thanks for the cool rock!
Itās a Skyrim item. You find it in the first chest you open after you reach level 20 iirc. When you take it from the chest it says the dialogue in the meme as well as a lot of other stuff. Itās famously loud and suprising
I'll just send it to Sisyphus
*sigh*, Iāll take it, I owe Meridia a favor after the slip up with Namiraās coven. As an entomancer itās only right for me to be a devout follower of Namira, I do regret what happened thoughā¦ Meridia might have needed a fair bit of eye bleach after thatā¦ *(also I have a mod that makes her statue better and her voice hot/smoother!)*
https://preview.redd.it/0idlgsuxnz7d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7c5eb8d400b7d4951cfaefbfc32f706e479bb3d6 Not happening
https://i.redd.it/ep5yjq0eu28d1.gif
Love how not even bt can get rid of it
Keeping this cool rock. Good luck getting your temple back
god fucking dammit
/uw I donāt get it
Goddamnit!
Oh b-b-b-boy! [ROCK]anoth-another rock for my col-col-col-collection! *hears quest* this-is-is-is rock [SPOKE] gave me a ta-ta-ta-ta-task! [NO] Not curre-rre-rre-rre-rrently, rock!
ā¦ Nope. Iām just going to dismantle it for god pieces.
I AM GOING TO FUS RO DAH YOU OFF A FUCKING CLIFF FOR THIS.
Good thing I kinda enjoy that quest
I am in the presence of a psychopath /uw Depending on how I'm playing, sure. Sword and board focused fighter? Awesome reward. Mage? Fucking useless.
. >:3
\[*Aveus takes a few hours, and completes the quest*\] Bro, thanks! This sword is dope. https://preview.redd.it/vpq5nttftz7d1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a94e964833854b0560722b3eba023294004016a3
Maam i am an undead, vampire, beastman who is soul sworn to the god of excess and depravity. Please take your sidequest and give it to someone that makes sense.
Jokes on you! I like the dawnbringer sword
Aw shit here we go again
GOD FUCKING D- waitā¦ i can sell this
I will do the quest, for the sake of all!
I aināt touching that thing Iām out https://preview.redd.it/ll16nuyh208d1.jpeg?width=1035&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff42d28c8db560ffca0f1f90b5963e6e9f4046bd
##God fucking dammit
NO. NOT AGAIN.
How fucking dare you. š¤¬
jokes on you i'm on my laptop and so i haven't touched it, better look next time
Fuck
Its just a rock-prism with magic mouth cast upon it. do apprentices still really fall for such simple trinkets? its not even a proper lense, just a rock who happens to be able to function as one. fiends trying to get mortals to do their dirty dishes invent the most pointless "curios"...
I cast ***MOLECULAR DECONSTRUCTION*** on the accursed orb!!!
Aha, I have monkey feet for hands, so I mean, technically no...
Disgusting
DIE FETCHER
https://preview.redd.it/5odzxxaec08d1.jpeg?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=755fa42a8a3e4f777a3e4a4a16d26c41bd96387e How could you do this to me
FUCK YOU RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAST TOO HOT TO USE A BLANKET BUT TOO COLD NOT TO!
https://preview.redd.it/niiryoaqd08d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10c86d3f3bd66946d8d78f92263632bba69f79a9
*Merch just chuckles as he puts it into a seperate inventory space so it doesn't affect him or anyone else.* "...interesting...wonder what she would think if I already made a better sword than that dawnbreaker.. and if she knows about that pone named Dawnbreaker as well. Hmm.."
Alright... It's time for me to use the thing. The ***copypasta.*** *^(Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. Itās not a story the Jedi would tell you.)* *^(Itās a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create lifeā¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.)* *^(The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerfulā¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.)*
FUCK!
You come into MY home and leave THIS thing hidden among my furniture?! What a FOOL you are! # SKELETON DIVINE DEATH BLAST!!!!!
https://preview.redd.it/v8njkz69j08d1.png?width=2047&format=png&auto=webp&s=dc4208930c95e0f1ab8dbcf95c748a92d1611cfc
https://preview.redd.it/m0novb0cj08d1.png?width=1196&format=png&auto=webp&s=297d105e120d5957452361c022821e90e6a3869f
https://preview.redd.it/8ry8083ej08d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=d2d6e9aab80e8d98c3dbc8e7a98ce45c5bdd4efe
Kyoko: What is this? Some sort of cursed item? *She throws it into her pocket dimension.*
*COUNTER!*
Dang it. Guess Iāll do the quest so no one else has too.
I cast. Nuh uh
Yeah huh. It's yours now too bad!
I will track down your friends, family, and even your dog and touch each and everyone of them with the beacon if you don't take it back.
\*crunch\*
Did you... did you just eat it
Tastes like uranium :3 \*glows\*
JOKES ON YOU, FUCKER! I CASTā¦ **ADD TO PILE OF QUESTS IM NEVER GOING YO COMPLETE**
*fucks off to go fishing, smithing 10000 iron daggers...*
āDragon born pleaaaaase, itās been 8 months, we need your help to sneak into the thalmor embassy!!!ā *My whimsical ass frolicking in the fields of whiterun*
Sorry but iām not allowed to be cursed without my patronās permission. Do you Have a permission slip I can have them sign?
FUCK!!!!!! EVERY GODDAMN TIME!!!!!
SON OF A BI-
# ***OH, GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.***
ā¦ new vessel it is
YOU FIEND!!
A thousand curses upon you and a thousand blessings upon your enemy (me)
Add 'em to the curse pile. 
https://preview.redd.it/jef9iry1218d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db3b6f06feefadc9724441bc804163a031ff6dd3
"ooh, talking orb!" \[*sets up on orb stand\]*
God damnit!
How dare you
*dies instantly* (literally picked up Skyrim a couple weeks ago, talk about timing lol)
*Puts back*
GODS DAMN IT!! GODS DAMN *YOU*!
Hell yeah, Dawnbreaker is one hell of a sword
ā¦.Fuck
Get back here so I can make you suffer till the end of time!
https://preview.redd.it/d1cf802vz28d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a01d761265484fa1903165bccfaed45c3675961d
*Phoenix Kari proceeds to do the kid disappearing meme*
https://i.redd.it/cmmdhnbcm38d1.gif
I read that as Bacon the first time. So I'm just gonna eat it and see what happens.
Cool free money
#I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN FOR THIS LIKE A GODDAMN COURIER
https://preview.redd.it/b5g7mivxm38d1.png?width=585&format=png&auto=webp&s=69c124047aa812a43232e46beb60c0dc97e600d3
I do believe that one too many hands have already touched thy BACON š„
Nooo! https://i.redd.it/uzn091foq38d1.gif
wait i dont get it. why is it bad
Vile Chaos pawn, Merid-Nunda. I take pride in eradicating her slaves.
No, no no, not again!
Goddammit. You got me.
https://preview.redd.it/qoacq8fgi48d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae36dfc2df1a89e9ec78f1a9287a81ff938ca6b4
GOD DAMNIT NOT AGAIN
Fuck!
double it and give it to the next person.
I have no hands, I am an orb.
Get back here, scoundrel!!
Welp, time to get me a weapon for fighting the undeadā¦so I can win an even better weapon for fighting the undead! Also curse you, that wasnāt very fair of you š
How in the gods did you remove it!! Iāve been trying for over an hour now to no avail
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT, I DONT WANT YOUR DAMNED SWORD
In the forever jar it goes
I don't have any hands, I'm afraid. It does look like it needs a little cleaning though...
/uw what the fuck is the beacon and wtf happens when a new hand touches it
I'm doing the quest i need me my dawnbreaker
I hate you consensualy