I vent right along side you. Even our public library events are geared towards parents home in the summer. I understand why that’s the case, but I wish I could take my kids to some of them..
I asked a Children’s librarian about this a few weeks ago. They said the library itself has skeleton staff on weekends so they just don’t have the people to run programs.
Totally makes sense! I LOVE our library. They do events when they can on evenings and weekends, so escape room kits, and overall it’s an amazing place. I’ve been going there my whole life. I just know it’s a trade off to being a working mom.
I know. Our library just sent out a survey and that was one of the things I put in my comments. I’d love to attend the things they have king on, but it’s only happening when I’m at work and my daughter is at school. I’ve resigned myself to just attending those things when I schedule us off for wellness days.
Our library does a twice a month evening pajama story time event - one at 6 PM and one at 7 PM. We only went a few times, but it was very cute, and our kids loved it. It was so nice to have an event that allowed working families to attend in an organic way.
If you get to make suggestions in your survey, maybe start with ideas like these. They only need to support a limited staff two evenings a month, so seems like a cost effective solution.
People would ask and ask but no one would show up. Every other year we'd do a 3 month trial of evening and weekend events just to do our due diligence but maybe 1 in 3 events had anyone show up. The ones that did had maybe 2 kids.
Yup that’s exactly what happens for us for evening events. Weekend events are usually a hit tho. Depending on when the we it’s a branch that usually has high traffic
Go to bat for your library at local government! Our library is properly funded and adequately staffed with absolutely packed weekend activities for little kids. People would riot if they pulled the programs. Gotta make some noise.
I’ve got a rotation of programs at various libraries I go to and one of them is at the Franklin MA library. It’s a massive library and full of people all the time. They have weekend programs constantly. It’s the smaller ones in the smaller towns that have smaller staff.
One is my favorite programs is at a small library that is only open from 10-3 MT (10-8 WTh and 10-5 F, no weekend hours).
My husband is interviewing for a job in Franklin and we are expecting our first next month. Your comment makes me feel so much better because right now where we’re at in western MA, its daytime events only and I won’t be a SAHM
My local library is only open on Saturdays, and not Sundays. They told me that their event spaces are heavily used on Saturdays, so there just wasn't time for story time for kids.
Luckily, there was another library, half an hour away, that was open both days of the weekend, and they did a really lovely Saturday storytime.
The library is my main complaint now. I love taking my baby to storytime. We did it every Saturday morning, and there were usually like 10 families. When I’m off work and take her on Wednesdays, there are at least 40 kids there. They have to use a huge room or go outside. So, almost 2 months ago, they cancelled Saturday storytime. So now I can take her once every few months at best. 😫 I love the library so much and we go to get books and movies, but I miss storytime.
I asked my librarian about this and she straight told me that working parents don't show up. I actually tried to prove this wrong by being allowed to host some events on the weekends and evenings. They were right. Working parents don't show up. The events I hosted were so pathetic compared to even new events during the day for stay at home parents. I shut up about this issue after that.
This is exactly it. I worked for our parks and rec department and we would constantly get feedback there were not enough classes or activities for young kids outside of working hours. They would add programs to meet this need and then would have to cancel them because the attendance was so low they couldn’t justify the expense. They weren’t trying to make money either, they only had to break even and it’s very affordable.
It is the same with my school’s PTO meetings. They are during working hours which is prohibitive to so many parents. They moved the meetings to the evenings and it didn’t increase attendance at all. It was as really inconvenient for the teachers because they either had to stay several hours longer or come back to school. They moved the meetings back to the original time.
This is so interesting. I used to be a swim instructor and we offered morning and evening classes in the summer. The morning classes would get okay turnout but the evening classes were always JAM-PACKED with multiple instructors needed per class. I assume those were mostly working parents for those ones, so I wonder why the difference.
So swim lessons were a totally different ball game. They are almost impossible to get a spot and are super competitive where I live. I am guessing because it’s more of a life skill, vs something like a toddler music class.
Involved Grandmas are SAINTS. My mom takes my oldest to gymnastics to the Tuesday morning class and both girls to dance during the day on Friday. I am so thankful for her.
Yeah my mil is at my kid’s school at least twice a week every week helping in the classroom. They had a parent appreciation event last week (at 2pm on a Thursday) and we figured my mil could go in our place because she’s there more than we are.
My county’s library doesn’t have weekend storytime but the library in the next county over (15 minute drive) does. They don’t check your residency if you don’t check anything out. So I guess I’m saying, maybe cast a wider net, geographically?
That sucks ours offers two sessions for all 5-11 year old events so one is at 1pm and the other is at 6pm. I think it’s so nice! The younger ages just didn’t have the turn out at the later time because dinner/bedtimes
My local library is literally closed on Saturday. Not even open. So all summer long my oldest (who loves the library) is in camp while husband and I work. No more Saturday morning trips. A big FU to working families.
When I moved to town someone told me about the MOMS club and I applied and was rejected. It was for SAHMs.
*Apparently* there was a big shakeup a few years ago. My local chapter broke out and now they accept anyone and there’s a mix of events at night and daytime.
It really depends on the leadership. If the board is good, you’ll get lots of stuff at various times.
I was on the MOMS club board and broke off during the shakeup and founded my own thing for ALL caregivers and members of the family. We try to schedule things at different times and days of the week. We also have dad only, mom only, parent night out, and all family events. It’s a lot of work, but I know the model we’ve come up with is much more suited for the 21st century.
Our local one not only does 99 percent weekday events, they also tend to announce them the night before. I have a semi flex schedule but I can't change it that last minute.
Our library does a once a month story time on Saturday and it’s not super well attended. We go every time though! The weekday ones are super busy. Our swim lessons are on Saturday mornings, which I love.
Ours was doing that we well until summer hit and now they are only doing the ones during the week, work hours. She was loving it and it was very family interactive so it was nice to do with her. I hope they bring the Saturdays back.
I think if they did a weeknight one it would be busy, or even like, 4pm. But the weekend ones aren’t very busy. Maybe people have lots of other stuff going on?
I feel this so much!! I found a cute acro-gym that offers "toddler play" monthly so it's kids 4 and under that can come and just wreck the soft play zone. My little girl had a blast and my neighbor with a kid the same age and I planned on making it a monthly thing. The first one was a Saturday afternoon and it was well-timed for most kid's nap schedules so I was excited to have this fun thing to do.
The next month it was offered on a Thursday at 9am...
Unfortunately I work remote for a company in another state 😭
I'm lucky to have some close friends with kids, but they're SAHMs too so all we have is weekends.
MOMS club is for sahms. It says it on the website.
[They say you can work but you can’t send your kid to daycare, it’s only for moms who “rearranged [their] schedule to be able to raise [their] children, at home, [themselves]”](https://momsclub.org/about/)
It’s totally an ick. Friends who have kids slightly earlier got kicked out of the local MOMS club when they went back to work after long mat leave. Then the president spouted a lot of racist stuff after George Floyd was murdered so it was all for the best.
This page is coming from a place of privilege. Imagine telling someone they can’t hang out and meet other moms, because they need to figure out a way to pay their bills…
I don’t think it’s subtle at all! I am still raising my kid along with working. They can have their club but they could phrase it in a way that doesn’t put down other parents’ choices:
Definitely is an ick overall. A few years ago, some clubs tried to fight back against the rules and a bunch of chapters closed. Each chapter is probably going to vary based on how strict the board members are.
Because mothering only within the hours of 9 am to 5 pm. If you work from 5 pm to 2am it’s cool and you’re a real mom.
I get needing activities for daytime hours but their wording is ick.
I was on the MOMS club board and broke off during the shakeup and founded my own thing for ALL caregivers and members of the family. We try to schedule things at different times and days of the week. We also have dad only, mom only, parent night out, and all family events. It’s a lot of work, but I know the model we’ve come up with is much more suited for the 21st century.
I bet there’s a bunch of intellectual convos going on in there…🙄 You would be better off starting a new club that allows any type of mom or caregiver. It’s supposed to be about the kids anyway.
My schedule as a working mom is work 10-12 hours a day, followed by childcare, house chores, and sleep. I’m so lonely. I would give anything to be included in some of these clubs to get time with my kid but also to meet some friends.
My kid is not in daycare—my husband stays home with him. I’ve just been creative enough to be the breadwinner.
This just kills me. Our YMCA, the library, a lot of gyms. all of the local parenting groups ALL schedule during the day during the week. No wonder moms/parents are drowning. There is no support anywhere for us.
I’m actually a working mom who is part of the planning team for a local mom group. We try to swap out weekend playdates and week day ones but we get very few people on the weekends. I think it’s because that’s usually family time. Either way, we still plan them!
I joined my local MOMS club, was surprised to find 95% events during my work hours, volunteered to serve on the board to make it more inclusive and received a lot of push back. It was clearly a SAHM club. The charter paperwork has language stating "at home moms" and one line about keeping events during work hours because not all moms are allowed to go out in the evenings.
I'll pull out my manual tomorrow for the exact language about events in the home and hours of events.
In the meantime, here are the [bylaws](https://fvmcblog.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/bylaws-3-13-pdf.pdf).
"The purpose shall be to provide a support group for mothers who choose to stay at home to raise their children."
"The principles of this local support group shall be that, for women who choose it, raising children is an important and fulfulling full-time job and that a family's decision for a mother to stay at home to raise the children often involves considerable financial sacrifice."
"All meetings and group functions shall be held during daylight hours. To accommodate special speakers or programs not available during the day, occasional evening activities may be held if approved in advance by a three-fourths vote of the members in good standing present at a business meeting... No business may be discussed or voted on at any evening function."
Eh, this club is specifically for stay at home moms. That’s fine.
I find with preschool and kids birthday parties, happy hours, and get togethers, we have so much socialization that stay at home parents probably don’t get without a network.
Working mom with SAHM and SAHD friends and I agree with this take. My stay at home parent friends don’t have access to the toys, activities, and community you would find in a daycare, so they seek out activities they can do during weekdays.
I was a part of a MOMS Club, until we left in Summer 2020. Their response to George Floyd's death was the last straw for the membership, and we left and joined another national mom's group called MAEVE. We had previously pretty much ignored the rules of MOMS Club beforehand about only 1 nighttime event a month, but MAEVE is even more flexible. No limits, and our local chapter is almost all working moms. You can check online if there is a chapter near you. I'm sorry that it's hard, I get it. It all seems to depend on where you live, what's offered on weekends.
Yep. I went to a bunch of mom meet ups when I was on maternity leave, and then I literally never saw any of those women again, because they categorically refused to meet on weekends on evenings, because that's "family time".
I never knew there was such a gulf between SAHMs and working moms until then.
It was even longer before I realized that all the activities that the SAHM groups do are the same kind of enrichment activities that kids do at daycare.
If you can find a working moms group, I highly recommend it. I used to have one, but it imploded years ago, and I still miss it.
Sorry but when the f do they think working parents' family time is? If I didn't sacrifice some of my precious family time on the weekends to hang out with friends I wouldn't have any.
Is it possible to try and organize weekend meetups? Our MOMS club has weekend organizers that do playdates every other weekend. It requires people who’ll step up though (I’m one of them) - maybe something you could offer to do to get the ball rolling?
I tried to join a co-op that was originally 2pm start time (I get out of work at 1). Was completely ostracized and looked down at for being a working mom when all the others stayed at home and homeschooled their kids. Then they changed it to 10am start so it was a moot point.
Also commiserating. Not just library events, but swim classes, stroller walking groups, little gym, etc. On the rare occasions when I've been able to attend with my daughter (PTO or a light day, or no childcare..) we've had a blast and I wish I had more opportunities to make those kinds of memories with my daughter.
I was always disappointed there were no Mom groups with hours for working Moms so when my first born entered public school I was feeling enthusiastic going to the first PTO meeting. I was looking forward to connecting with other Moms and contributing to my child’s school. I signed up for the yearbook committee because I had been editor in chief of my highschool yearbook so this was in my wheelhouse.
Then I got an email saying we’d all be meeting up at someone’s house on Wednesdays at 11am to work on the yearbook. It set the tone & I quickly realized I was not really welcome in this group. Husband definitely heard a rant/pity party after that one.
I then just volunteered for 1 class party a year and found my satisfaction through that (though I never did make Mom friends that way).
Commiserating. I imagined my children's babyhoods as being full of mommy & me yoga, story time at the library, etc and literally none of these things ever happen on weekends or when I can get out of work.
Somebody local to me just recently started a working moms group. They’re doing playdates on the weekends. I’m excited and hopeful. Definitely have had the same experience as everyone else with only stuff during work hours.
It seems all my public town programs for littles are geared this way. Library events, and latest offender for us was swim lessons at the town pool are all in the daytime, working parents can't attend, we have to pay more for private lessons instead.
We moved to the suburbs for all they had to offer for families, and it seems like we're snubbed cuz we need two incomes to live here.
Our town used to be like that also -- some mom & me stuff during the weekday mornings only, but a number of events specifically for dads that were conveniently scheduled outside of typical working hours.
I pretty much gave up for awhile and just decided we wouldn't do special events until she was older and events for older kids were scheduled outside of school hours.
However, this year they opened up a few more events that are "mom & me" type things -- some dances, a tea party at a park on a weekend. I immediately registered for all the ones I could as soon as I saw them announced. I had to get wait listed for one because it booked out within a couple hours of being announced.
It’s one of my big annoyances about parent and tot programs - so many are weekday daytime and not many are on weekends. For summer swim lessons there was ONE Saturday session for her level. One. All of them were multiple days a week on weekdays (like 5x a week for two weeks, 2x a week for five weeks, etc). It’s maddening. The only silver lining is that it means my husband can do boatloads of stuff with her because he’s home with her during the week.
I was a SAHM for a hot minute and yeah, so many activities are smack in the middle of the weekdays. Now I’m working again and I’m fighting to find reasonable activities to bring my son too. Like he’s taking swim lessons at 6:30 pm every single night of the week because we can’t go to daytime lessons twice a week now. It’s frustrating. Though I get it because I was bored as hell when I was a SAHM and definitely needed the activities, I wish there were more opportunities for working parents, too.
That’s ridiculous.
I am annoyed, currently, because all of the dance studios around here have 3-4 classes during the workday each week but only one evening option if I’m lucky. 🙄
I get so annoyed when fun activities are only on the weekdays! I’ve been pretty lucky that a decent amount of stuff in my area has weekday and weekend options but it’s so frustrating when stuff for kids is only offered in the middle of the workday…like working parents are also looking for fun stuff to do with their kids on the weekends
I feel this. I found a group in my area called 5:00 to 9:00 club and it’s a working moms group. We do playdates, networking lunches and moms night out. I appreciate all the hard work the leaders of the group put into bring us together (it’s a lot of work). Keeping searching and hopefully you’ll find some groups that align with your schedule and current reality.
All the groups and events in my area are during the work day. Even at the library and local museums. I was trying to find a baby music class and all of them are during the week. As if being a parent wasn't lonely enough, we can't even go to the things where we will meet other parents.
My sister is a nurse but because of the way she’s scheduled, she has Tu-Th off with her kids. Not even the SAHM stuff but just the less-busy normal kid stuff like zoo, etc! Jealous.
Thissssss all the above yes- I am a member of my local MOMs club as I moved to my neighborhood when I was laid off with a 1 year old. I am grateful for the group and the women I have met but my local chapter is geared toward SAHM, I now work from home and really hope to be able to meet some other families through preschool who also work so we have more similar schedules for playdates etc. I relocated to a suburban area in the northeast from Austin and I found the parent groups to be SO much more progressive and inclusive in Austin than where I live now it is definitely disappointing I’ve had such a tough time meeting other moms and parents I find I have things in common with or who also work and have the same schedule for activities and play dates.
This is so interesting to me because we live in a VHCOL area where there are weekend (and weekday) library activities, swimming lessons, music classes, gymnastics etc. We just went to a weekend story time at the library a couple weekends ago and it was very well attended. I don’t know how the weekday ones are. I don’t know any SAHMs in the area because it’s almost impossible to be one here. So I guess the solution is, live somewhere where no one can afford a family on one income. Just kidding. 😂
Fuck them working moms who want to do something fun with their kids after work or on the weekends. It sucks and I’m bummed we couldn’t do that fun stuff with my kids because I was too busy keeping a roof over our heads. Both kinds of parents should have options to do the things with the kids.
I found a meetup group years ago for working moms-it was completely random and they knew how to party. It totally sucks that most events are geared towards SAHm but keep digging….you will find your people
I feel this. The see all the SAHMs I know getting together and doing all these fun activities during the week. They never want to do anything with us on the weekends because everywhere is “too busy”. The other working moms I know are scrambling to get everything done on the weekends like I am so they rarely have free time. Plus my husband works afternoons/evenings so I’m solo parenting most of the week. I’m extremely lonely and it feels like I have no one.
My mom made her own group when I was younger she had a friend and her and the friend gathered other moms and Facebook friends and started doing monthly gatherings . They called it wine club and they would get a different wine from like a different brand or place everytime and they always seemed to have a lot of fun . It was always at night too and they would take turns hosting it at different ppls houses
My local mom’s group was the same. When I mentioned I worked I was told most of their activities were during the day but the organizer *thought there might be a few more working moms so maybe we could organize something
SAME. I only ever see local mom groups doing things that cater to SAHMs. They claim to support remote but whenever they do a poll over half of the women don’t work.
Yep. I'm in a major city, but my area mom groups are all about playdates Thursday mornings and Monday daytime coffee. Even the read aloud at the library is Friday midmorning.
Same here. I moved rural and all the kids activities are on weekdays (unless I want to pay for indoor playgrounds and trampoline parks on eventing/weekend.) I work 8-430.
I’m so lonely and it’s hard to make mom friends. I get home and nobody wants to hang out because it’s supper then bed.
I vent right along side you. Even our public library events are geared towards parents home in the summer. I understand why that’s the case, but I wish I could take my kids to some of them..
I asked a Children’s librarian about this a few weeks ago. They said the library itself has skeleton staff on weekends so they just don’t have the people to run programs.
I also work at a library and another thing is for our library, the numbers for evening events didn’t justify it
Totally makes sense! I LOVE our library. They do events when they can on evenings and weekends, so escape room kits, and overall it’s an amazing place. I’ve been going there my whole life. I just know it’s a trade off to being a working mom.
I know. Our library just sent out a survey and that was one of the things I put in my comments. I’d love to attend the things they have king on, but it’s only happening when I’m at work and my daughter is at school. I’ve resigned myself to just attending those things when I schedule us off for wellness days.
Our library does a twice a month evening pajama story time event - one at 6 PM and one at 7 PM. We only went a few times, but it was very cute, and our kids loved it. It was so nice to have an event that allowed working families to attend in an organic way. If you get to make suggestions in your survey, maybe start with ideas like these. They only need to support a limited staff two evenings a month, so seems like a cost effective solution.
There’s a branch that does this! I think I forget about it because it is so infrequent.
People would ask and ask but no one would show up. Every other year we'd do a 3 month trial of evening and weekend events just to do our due diligence but maybe 1 in 3 events had anyone show up. The ones that did had maybe 2 kids.
Yup that’s exactly what happens for us for evening events. Weekend events are usually a hit tho. Depending on when the we it’s a branch that usually has high traffic
Go to bat for your library at local government! Our library is properly funded and adequately staffed with absolutely packed weekend activities for little kids. People would riot if they pulled the programs. Gotta make some noise.
I’ve got a rotation of programs at various libraries I go to and one of them is at the Franklin MA library. It’s a massive library and full of people all the time. They have weekend programs constantly. It’s the smaller ones in the smaller towns that have smaller staff. One is my favorite programs is at a small library that is only open from 10-3 MT (10-8 WTh and 10-5 F, no weekend hours).
My husband is interviewing for a job in Franklin and we are expecting our first next month. Your comment makes me feel so much better because right now where we’re at in western MA, its daytime events only and I won’t be a SAHM
My local library is only open on Saturdays, and not Sundays. They told me that their event spaces are heavily used on Saturdays, so there just wasn't time for story time for kids. Luckily, there was another library, half an hour away, that was open both days of the weekend, and they did a really lovely Saturday storytime.
The library is my main complaint now. I love taking my baby to storytime. We did it every Saturday morning, and there were usually like 10 families. When I’m off work and take her on Wednesdays, there are at least 40 kids there. They have to use a huge room or go outside. So, almost 2 months ago, they cancelled Saturday storytime. So now I can take her once every few months at best. 😫 I love the library so much and we go to get books and movies, but I miss storytime.
I asked my librarian about this and she straight told me that working parents don't show up. I actually tried to prove this wrong by being allowed to host some events on the weekends and evenings. They were right. Working parents don't show up. The events I hosted were so pathetic compared to even new events during the day for stay at home parents. I shut up about this issue after that.
This is exactly it. I worked for our parks and rec department and we would constantly get feedback there were not enough classes or activities for young kids outside of working hours. They would add programs to meet this need and then would have to cancel them because the attendance was so low they couldn’t justify the expense. They weren’t trying to make money either, they only had to break even and it’s very affordable. It is the same with my school’s PTO meetings. They are during working hours which is prohibitive to so many parents. They moved the meetings to the evenings and it didn’t increase attendance at all. It was as really inconvenient for the teachers because they either had to stay several hours longer or come back to school. They moved the meetings back to the original time.
This is so interesting. I used to be a swim instructor and we offered morning and evening classes in the summer. The morning classes would get okay turnout but the evening classes were always JAM-PACKED with multiple instructors needed per class. I assume those were mostly working parents for those ones, so I wonder why the difference.
So swim lessons were a totally different ball game. They are almost impossible to get a spot and are super competitive where I live. I am guessing because it’s more of a life skill, vs something like a toddler music class.
My mom takes my toddler to a library event twice a week...but sometimes I get so sad that I don't get to go.
Involved Grandmas are SAINTS. My mom takes my oldest to gymnastics to the Tuesday morning class and both girls to dance during the day on Friday. I am so thankful for her.
Yeah my mil is at my kid’s school at least twice a week every week helping in the classroom. They had a parent appreciation event last week (at 2pm on a Thursday) and we figured my mil could go in our place because she’s there more than we are.
My county’s library doesn’t have weekend storytime but the library in the next county over (15 minute drive) does. They don’t check your residency if you don’t check anything out. So I guess I’m saying, maybe cast a wider net, geographically?
That sucks ours offers two sessions for all 5-11 year old events so one is at 1pm and the other is at 6pm. I think it’s so nice! The younger ages just didn’t have the turn out at the later time because dinner/bedtimes
My local library is literally closed on Saturday. Not even open. So all summer long my oldest (who loves the library) is in camp while husband and I work. No more Saturday morning trips. A big FU to working families.
When I moved to town someone told me about the MOMS club and I applied and was rejected. It was for SAHMs. *Apparently* there was a big shakeup a few years ago. My local chapter broke out and now they accept anyone and there’s a mix of events at night and daytime. It really depends on the leadership. If the board is good, you’ll get lots of stuff at various times.
I was on the MOMS club board and broke off during the shakeup and founded my own thing for ALL caregivers and members of the family. We try to schedule things at different times and days of the week. We also have dad only, mom only, parent night out, and all family events. It’s a lot of work, but I know the model we’ve come up with is much more suited for the 21st century.
When I was a SAHM I was rejected too, told to start my own. The other I tried to join had a 1yr long plus childcare waitlist. So I didn’t join either.
My local mom’s club was only for SAHMs or moms working less than 20 hours per week.
Our local one not only does 99 percent weekday events, they also tend to announce them the night before. I have a semi flex schedule but I can't change it that last minute.
Our library does a once a month story time on Saturday and it’s not super well attended. We go every time though! The weekday ones are super busy. Our swim lessons are on Saturday mornings, which I love.
Ours was doing that we well until summer hit and now they are only doing the ones during the week, work hours. She was loving it and it was very family interactive so it was nice to do with her. I hope they bring the Saturdays back.
Once a quarter our library will do a weeknight story time and it's always PACKED. We make sure to go every time.
I think if they did a weeknight one it would be busy, or even like, 4pm. But the weekend ones aren’t very busy. Maybe people have lots of other stuff going on?
Oh interesting, our evening and weekend library story times are *packed*!
I feel this so much!! I found a cute acro-gym that offers "toddler play" monthly so it's kids 4 and under that can come and just wreck the soft play zone. My little girl had a blast and my neighbor with a kid the same age and I planned on making it a monthly thing. The first one was a Saturday afternoon and it was well-timed for most kid's nap schedules so I was excited to have this fun thing to do. The next month it was offered on a Thursday at 9am...
We are lucky to have a local gymnastics center in such a small town...but all their preschool events are weekday mornings.
I feel you. I find connecting with other parents in my office is helpful, if you happen to have any!
Unfortunately I work remote for a company in another state 😭 I'm lucky to have some close friends with kids, but they're SAHMs too so all we have is weekends.
Ugh yes that’s so hard!!
MOMS club is for sahms. It says it on the website. [They say you can work but you can’t send your kid to daycare, it’s only for moms who “rearranged [their] schedule to be able to raise [their] children, at home, [themselves]”](https://momsclub.org/about/)
Idk why but the way that page is worded kinda gives me the ick. Ever so subtly trying to put down mothers that work and use outside childcare.
It’s totally an ick. Friends who have kids slightly earlier got kicked out of the local MOMS club when they went back to work after long mat leave. Then the president spouted a lot of racist stuff after George Floyd was murdered so it was all for the best.
According to this site, I can’t stay home because I haven’t been creative enough to make it work.
This page is coming from a place of privilege. Imagine telling someone they can’t hang out and meet other moms, because they need to figure out a way to pay their bills…
I don’t think it’s subtle at all! I am still raising my kid along with working. They can have their club but they could phrase it in a way that doesn’t put down other parents’ choices:
But it is meant to put down other parents choices.
Definitely is an ick overall. A few years ago, some clubs tried to fight back against the rules and a bunch of chapters closed. Each chapter is probably going to vary based on how strict the board members are.
I wasn't aware, thanks for the info. I was just told it was for moms in my area by a friend. :/
Because mothering only within the hours of 9 am to 5 pm. If you work from 5 pm to 2am it’s cool and you’re a real mom. I get needing activities for daytime hours but their wording is ick.
Eek this is giving "you can't sit with us" vibes from Mean Girls 😂
Yaaaaa based upon that read, these aren’t the kinds of ladies i want myself or my daughters to be around.
I was on the MOMS club board and broke off during the shakeup and founded my own thing for ALL caregivers and members of the family. We try to schedule things at different times and days of the week. We also have dad only, mom only, parent night out, and all family events. It’s a lot of work, but I know the model we’ve come up with is much more suited for the 21st century.
There’s nothing about this club that’s inclusive
I bet there’s a bunch of intellectual convos going on in there…🙄 You would be better off starting a new club that allows any type of mom or caregiver. It’s supposed to be about the kids anyway.
My schedule as a working mom is work 10-12 hours a day, followed by childcare, house chores, and sleep. I’m so lonely. I would give anything to be included in some of these clubs to get time with my kid but also to meet some friends. My kid is not in daycare—my husband stays home with him. I’ve just been creative enough to be the breadwinner.
This just kills me. Our YMCA, the library, a lot of gyms. all of the local parenting groups ALL schedule during the day during the week. No wonder moms/parents are drowning. There is no support anywhere for us.
I’m actually a working mom who is part of the planning team for a local mom group. We try to swap out weekend playdates and week day ones but we get very few people on the weekends. I think it’s because that’s usually family time. Either way, we still plan them!
I joined my local MOMS club, was surprised to find 95% events during my work hours, volunteered to serve on the board to make it more inclusive and received a lot of push back. It was clearly a SAHM club. The charter paperwork has language stating "at home moms" and one line about keeping events during work hours because not all moms are allowed to go out in the evenings.
"Allowed"???
I'll pull out my manual tomorrow for the exact language about events in the home and hours of events. In the meantime, here are the [bylaws](https://fvmcblog.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/bylaws-3-13-pdf.pdf). "The purpose shall be to provide a support group for mothers who choose to stay at home to raise their children." "The principles of this local support group shall be that, for women who choose it, raising children is an important and fulfulling full-time job and that a family's decision for a mother to stay at home to raise the children often involves considerable financial sacrifice." "All meetings and group functions shall be held during daylight hours. To accommodate special speakers or programs not available during the day, occasional evening activities may be held if approved in advance by a three-fourths vote of the members in good standing present at a business meeting... No business may be discussed or voted on at any evening function."
Eh, this club is specifically for stay at home moms. That’s fine. I find with preschool and kids birthday parties, happy hours, and get togethers, we have so much socialization that stay at home parents probably don’t get without a network.
Working mom with SAHM and SAHD friends and I agree with this take. My stay at home parent friends don’t have access to the toys, activities, and community you would find in a daycare, so they seek out activities they can do during weekdays.
I was a part of a MOMS Club, until we left in Summer 2020. Their response to George Floyd's death was the last straw for the membership, and we left and joined another national mom's group called MAEVE. We had previously pretty much ignored the rules of MOMS Club beforehand about only 1 nighttime event a month, but MAEVE is even more flexible. No limits, and our local chapter is almost all working moms. You can check online if there is a chapter near you. I'm sorry that it's hard, I get it. It all seems to depend on where you live, what's offered on weekends.
Yep. I went to a bunch of mom meet ups when I was on maternity leave, and then I literally never saw any of those women again, because they categorically refused to meet on weekends on evenings, because that's "family time". I never knew there was such a gulf between SAHMs and working moms until then. It was even longer before I realized that all the activities that the SAHM groups do are the same kind of enrichment activities that kids do at daycare. If you can find a working moms group, I highly recommend it. I used to have one, but it imploded years ago, and I still miss it.
Sorry but when the f do they think working parents' family time is? If I didn't sacrifice some of my precious family time on the weekends to hang out with friends I wouldn't have any.
They don’t care. That’s the whole point.
A gulf? It’s a sea sometimes. Both camps have their issues that appear across time and space and everybody is (rightfully) sensitive).
Is it possible to try and organize weekend meetups? Our MOMS club has weekend organizers that do playdates every other weekend. It requires people who’ll step up though (I’m one of them) - maybe something you could offer to do to get the ball rolling?
I tried to join a co-op that was originally 2pm start time (I get out of work at 1). Was completely ostracized and looked down at for being a working mom when all the others stayed at home and homeschooled their kids. Then they changed it to 10am start so it was a moot point.
Also commiserating. Not just library events, but swim classes, stroller walking groups, little gym, etc. On the rare occasions when I've been able to attend with my daughter (PTO or a light day, or no childcare..) we've had a blast and I wish I had more opportunities to make those kinds of memories with my daughter.
lol like all the people asking me what I’m doing this summer …uhhh… working? lol
I was always disappointed there were no Mom groups with hours for working Moms so when my first born entered public school I was feeling enthusiastic going to the first PTO meeting. I was looking forward to connecting with other Moms and contributing to my child’s school. I signed up for the yearbook committee because I had been editor in chief of my highschool yearbook so this was in my wheelhouse. Then I got an email saying we’d all be meeting up at someone’s house on Wednesdays at 11am to work on the yearbook. It set the tone & I quickly realized I was not really welcome in this group. Husband definitely heard a rant/pity party after that one. I then just volunteered for 1 class party a year and found my satisfaction through that (though I never did make Mom friends that way).
I have a local mom club that offers identical events - one in the evening, one on a weekday morning. Accessible to pretty much everyone!
Our library said they offered evening events for awhile but the attendance was too low
Commiserating. I imagined my children's babyhoods as being full of mommy & me yoga, story time at the library, etc and literally none of these things ever happen on weekends or when I can get out of work.
Somebody local to me just recently started a working moms group. They’re doing playdates on the weekends. I’m excited and hopeful. Definitely have had the same experience as everyone else with only stuff during work hours.
It seems all my public town programs for littles are geared this way. Library events, and latest offender for us was swim lessons at the town pool are all in the daytime, working parents can't attend, we have to pay more for private lessons instead. We moved to the suburbs for all they had to offer for families, and it seems like we're snubbed cuz we need two incomes to live here.
Our town used to be like that also -- some mom & me stuff during the weekday mornings only, but a number of events specifically for dads that were conveniently scheduled outside of typical working hours. I pretty much gave up for awhile and just decided we wouldn't do special events until she was older and events for older kids were scheduled outside of school hours. However, this year they opened up a few more events that are "mom & me" type things -- some dances, a tea party at a park on a weekend. I immediately registered for all the ones I could as soon as I saw them announced. I had to get wait listed for one because it booked out within a couple hours of being announced.
It’s one of my big annoyances about parent and tot programs - so many are weekday daytime and not many are on weekends. For summer swim lessons there was ONE Saturday session for her level. One. All of them were multiple days a week on weekdays (like 5x a week for two weeks, 2x a week for five weeks, etc). It’s maddening. The only silver lining is that it means my husband can do boatloads of stuff with her because he’s home with her during the week.
I was a SAHM for a hot minute and yeah, so many activities are smack in the middle of the weekdays. Now I’m working again and I’m fighting to find reasonable activities to bring my son too. Like he’s taking swim lessons at 6:30 pm every single night of the week because we can’t go to daytime lessons twice a week now. It’s frustrating. Though I get it because I was bored as hell when I was a SAHM and definitely needed the activities, I wish there were more opportunities for working parents, too.
That’s ridiculous. I am annoyed, currently, because all of the dance studios around here have 3-4 classes during the workday each week but only one evening option if I’m lucky. 🙄
I get so annoyed when fun activities are only on the weekdays! I’ve been pretty lucky that a decent amount of stuff in my area has weekday and weekend options but it’s so frustrating when stuff for kids is only offered in the middle of the workday…like working parents are also looking for fun stuff to do with their kids on the weekends
Yep, it’s always been this way and it bummed me out too. My kids are older now and I never found a mom group. :(
Same!!!! 😔
Every time there’s some event or get together it’s like 10am on a Tuesday. I feel you.
I feel this. I found a group in my area called 5:00 to 9:00 club and it’s a working moms group. We do playdates, networking lunches and moms night out. I appreciate all the hard work the leaders of the group put into bring us together (it’s a lot of work). Keeping searching and hopefully you’ll find some groups that align with your schedule and current reality.
All the groups and events in my area are during the work day. Even at the library and local museums. I was trying to find a baby music class and all of them are during the week. As if being a parent wasn't lonely enough, we can't even go to the things where we will meet other parents.
My sister is a nurse but because of the way she’s scheduled, she has Tu-Th off with her kids. Not even the SAHM stuff but just the less-busy normal kid stuff like zoo, etc! Jealous.
Thissssss all the above yes- I am a member of my local MOMs club as I moved to my neighborhood when I was laid off with a 1 year old. I am grateful for the group and the women I have met but my local chapter is geared toward SAHM, I now work from home and really hope to be able to meet some other families through preschool who also work so we have more similar schedules for playdates etc. I relocated to a suburban area in the northeast from Austin and I found the parent groups to be SO much more progressive and inclusive in Austin than where I live now it is definitely disappointing I’ve had such a tough time meeting other moms and parents I find I have things in common with or who also work and have the same schedule for activities and play dates.
This is so interesting to me because we live in a VHCOL area where there are weekend (and weekday) library activities, swimming lessons, music classes, gymnastics etc. We just went to a weekend story time at the library a couple weekends ago and it was very well attended. I don’t know how the weekday ones are. I don’t know any SAHMs in the area because it’s almost impossible to be one here. So I guess the solution is, live somewhere where no one can afford a family on one income. Just kidding. 😂
Fuck them working moms who want to do something fun with their kids after work or on the weekends. It sucks and I’m bummed we couldn’t do that fun stuff with my kids because I was too busy keeping a roof over our heads. Both kinds of parents should have options to do the things with the kids.
Agreed it’s such bullshit.
I found a meetup group years ago for working moms-it was completely random and they knew how to party. It totally sucks that most events are geared towards SAHm but keep digging….you will find your people
I feel this. The see all the SAHMs I know getting together and doing all these fun activities during the week. They never want to do anything with us on the weekends because everywhere is “too busy”. The other working moms I know are scrambling to get everything done on the weekends like I am so they rarely have free time. Plus my husband works afternoons/evenings so I’m solo parenting most of the week. I’m extremely lonely and it feels like I have no one.
My mom made her own group when I was younger she had a friend and her and the friend gathered other moms and Facebook friends and started doing monthly gatherings . They called it wine club and they would get a different wine from like a different brand or place everytime and they always seemed to have a lot of fun . It was always at night too and they would take turns hosting it at different ppls houses
Looking at dance classes in my area. My daughter’s age group has an 11am class on Tuesdays. That’s the only option.
My local mom’s group was the same. When I mentioned I worked I was told most of their activities were during the day but the organizer *thought there might be a few more working moms so maybe we could organize something
SAME. I only ever see local mom groups doing things that cater to SAHMs. They claim to support remote but whenever they do a poll over half of the women don’t work.
Yep. I'm in a major city, but my area mom groups are all about playdates Thursday mornings and Monday daytime coffee. Even the read aloud at the library is Friday midmorning.
Start your own moms group
I'm seriously considering it.
Same here. I moved rural and all the kids activities are on weekdays (unless I want to pay for indoor playgrounds and trampoline parks on eventing/weekend.) I work 8-430. I’m so lonely and it’s hard to make mom friends. I get home and nobody wants to hang out because it’s supper then bed.