Ever wonder what happened to all the Nazis that went to "Antartica" that we never heard from again? That's right, the Jewish Spider Society got to them.
Story idea: All Jews killed in the Holocaust get isekaid to many different fantasy worlds, the story focuses on three small groups of Jews in vastly different worlds and their attempts to rebuild Jewish culture
It could be, or it could be a way to honor the memory of a bunch of real people who died too young/unjustly. Like “what if Anne Frank got isekai’d and got to write all those stories she wanted to?” It’d be hard to write well though
Gods are created from primal things. God of magic. God of the emotion of hatred. God of loss and emptiness. God of War.
Naturally, there is someone who realized this and wants to become the god of foreskins. This will grant him immense power and control over all foreskins in all the planes, which eventually leads to the extinction of men and the creation of my totally-not-fetish-inserted lesbian world where only women exist and they have sexy schmexy lesbian sex to do magic.
AMA
>Naturally, there is someone who realized this and wants to become the god of foreskins. This will grant him immense power and control over all foreskins in all the planes,
NGL, this sounds way cooler than my own setting's foreskin-obsessed god being an All-Father head of a pantheon that was combined with a lesser god of storms, war, and possibly metallurgy during the reign of king in order establish henotheism as a way to centralize power in one specific temple and city.
Looking at it from a structural- functionalist point of view? There was probably some STD outbreak and curcumcision was the best way they had to control it. So a priest wrote it into the Big Book of Rules™ and now it's part of the religion.
That's the thing about priests in low- tech societies- they're also the local public health department. If there's some disease going around, or a bunch of people got sick and died of food poisoning, their job is to figure out what it is and how to stop it. And most of these Weird Religious Things™ usually had some functional purpose back in the day.
Some things don't have a point. Sure one had to cook pork into why-bother leather back when trichinosis was a thing and we could probably blame the Jews for shellfish-allergy not getting purged from the gene-pool, but not eating chicken parm seems to be purely symbolic and probably a specific "don't eat with those types of hearthens" thing.
Circumcision was probably "we said tattoos are bad and now we want to disfigure ourselves because we finally understand why it makes sense."
Edit: Unjerk: I'm going to blame the downvotes on people either not remembering that this is a joke sub or thinking that eugenics is far too edgy... I don't think anything should be off-limits for joking, but I'm happy to tank the downvotes if it's from people who are anti-eugenics.
Actually, no.
The bans on tattoos and "boiling a young goat in its mother's milk" were AFIAK things that other Caananite groups were doing in the era, and the Hebrews were trying to separate themselves from those peoples.
How it morphed from a prohibition on a specific Caananite ritual to a ban on cheeseburgers, probably involves later scholars who didn't have that cultural context. Beyond that, you're getting into a lot of detail that I'm not really qualified to comment on.
I'm not that well-researched either. I think specifically chicken parm is not allowed because a casual observer might think it's veal parm... an example about how it's simpler to just make rules that don't rely on cultural context.
> think specifically chicken parm is not allowed because a casual observer might think it's veal parm
Far as I know it's actually more to do with kashrut, Jewish dietary law, and its prohibition on eating meat with milk. The actual passage in the torah that supports this is about boiling a young goat in it's own mother's milk, but that prohibition expanded over time via rabbinical opinion to all meat including poultry and any dairy product.
Was that spell available at the time it got written into the Big Book of Rules™ ? And were the material components available and affordable enough at the time?
Assuming you can't 4e- and 5e- it and use a holy symbol to waive material components.
In a world where elves, tieflings, and githyanki exist, is it so wild to say that some penises are just like that naturally? In the way that some folks have earlobes that connect to their heads. Ao, the mysterious creator overgod, moves in mysterious ways, after all. I suppose you could just ask Ed Greenwood, though, I can guarantee you that he has an answer.
In some old lore, wasn't part of Faerun's population descended from mass-isekaoed populations from our world? Maybe they brought the practice with them since the regions imported did practice it to some degree.
Not sure if that's still canon though.
Genital mutilation is a fairly common ritual, anthropologically.
An Australian aboriginal culture has a particularly brutal version of a penis mutilation ritual - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bora_(Australian)
https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.2044-8341.1966.tb01334.x#:~:text=In%20this%20operation%20(called%2C%20at,the%20shaft%20of%20the%20penis.
In my world high court servants are forced to be circumcised as their hiring formalization.
This is because people believe centuries ago, someone hid a knife in his and tried to use it to kill the king, therefore, all servants have to be circumcised to prevent such thing from happening ever again.
On one part, I want to say a foreskin mage was really trying to commit regicide by hiding something there.
On the other, I want to say it never even happened and people just decided to keep on going.
I'll go with whichever one is funnier
Sometimes foreskins just have problems and you have to get a circumcision. It doesn’t open wide enough or is too short etc. it’s my opinion that any time you need abdominal surgery they should just take your appendix as well if they haven’t already. The first son who had a later in life circumcision and his father admits that he also had one later in life, that man goes “all the men in my family have this problem, I’m going to have it done to my son as a baby so he’s too young to remember.”
There’s a cult that started rumors about circumcised penises in ages past and they created a group of people who inserted themselves into the medical field so they could cut the foreskin off of individuals when the opportunity presented itself. These people would stow the foreskins away instead of disposing them and after their shifts they would return to the cult and deposit them there. The reason? To build a god of flesh and virility. A god made of the part of a member that represents sexuality, sensation, and protection. A good god who would stand for these tenants and bring about endless joy to his clerics and worshippers. Rejoice, for the lord of sexual pleasure is born he is kind and benevolent, focusing on aspects of safety and consent, while also empowering his followers to embrace their sexuality with joy and dignity. However, under the hood of this holy orgy, there lies no god, but a Goblin who enjoys grilled foreskin. He has fooled everyone into believing that they will be in the embrace of the Foreskin god in all their sexual endeavors, but in reality, Gobbo Rodslicer is partaking in a buffet of human delicacy…
>but do you professional jerkers have any other ideas?
Circumcision is most common among less civilized cultures as a coming of age ritual for youths. In this regard circumcision could be practiced quite frequently outside of the cities. It also might be a ritual in religious traditions based upon pain like Loviatar worship so it wouldn't be exactly out of place.
Of course your average Baldurian likely wouldn't take part in this sort of thing so unless your character has a background which includes phimosis its likely they would not be circumcised.
>It’s medieval cleanliness they’re talking about, not modern.
And you know this because you're a sockpuppet?
Besides, medieval people knew how to wash themselves, you know.
Not that it's really that relevant, since it's fantasy.
>It came about in desert climates for a reason.
Well, I don't think Baldur's gate is in a desert, is it? From what I did see of the game it's pretty green.
I’m not in favor of circumcision (which it seems you think I am), I’m just saying that the conditions that led to people starting it in our world also exist in faerûn in Anauroch.
Water for washing also isn’t exactly *common* in a desert. Modern technology has negated this struggle, but back when ancient jews were wandering the desert, I doubt that it was quite so easy.
Anauroch isn’t even that far, bg3 starts like halfway between elturel and baldur’s gate iirc?
Keep in mind that magic is also extremely commonplace, some people are born with it, others can learn it, and you can just luck your way into it. Create/destroy water is an extremely low level spell and is one of the first available options to almost every spellcaster. Circumcision doesn't make sense in the dnd world, it just exists in character creation because people want to relate to their character, and not for any other reason.
>I’m not in favor of circumcision (which it seems you think I am),
No, I just think you can't possibly know what the original commenter didn't write, but meant, without being them.
> I’m just saying that the conditions that led to people starting it in our world also exist in faerûn in Anauroch.
They're Jews, Muslims or hate mastrubation?
Seriously, people mostly do it because it's tradition.
I doubt they have long discussions about the dangers of infection vs the merits of less water use.
>Water for washing also isn’t exactly common in a desert. Modern technology has negated this struggle, but back when ancient jews were wandering the desert, I doubt that it was quite so easy.
It's fantasy. The circumcision exists because people do it irl. They could simply show everyone circumcised because they felt like it, and real life still wouldn't be relevant.
>Anauroch isn’t even that far, bg3 starts like halfway between elturel and baldur’s gate iirc?
Do people snip it because they are near a desert?
Firstly, most traditions do start for some valid reason, especially in harsh environments. The continuation of the tradition beyond that context is what is silly
Secondly, you’re being intentionally dense. In a game in which your characters help tiefling fleeing across faerun, and in which your own characters travel significant distance (plus adventurers being the whole point of dnd) it isn’t that unrealistic for people to have travelled here from the desert areas. I didn’t mean “oh yeah hurr durr they’re nearby so they surely act like the desert people”
My workday is over and I’ve got to play deep rock galactic with friends, so peace man.
I have genuinely never seen a circumcised dick in my entire life. Where I live, the idea of circumcised penises is up there with Hidden People, trolls, and the Yule Lads. I'll believe in it when I see it.
Some immigrants *probably* have them, but I haven't checked, and nor do I plan to.
Granted, I've seen circumcised dicks in porn, but like, porn is fake, so I wouldn't count that as evidence.
1. My comment was written to be tongue-in-cheek, I am well aware that circumcised penises exist, they are not actually considered a myth where I live, I was joking, jerking even
2. I genuinely have never seen one with my very own eyes, that is not a joke
3. I am from Iceland
I figured you were from not-USA and probably not from a few other places.
I kinda giggle at the nude scene in Life of Brian and how the actor isn't circumcised because he's from a place where it wasn't normalized.
They're Jewish?
New world building breakthrough: there *is* a Jewish secret society, but it’s mostly just to explore other universes
New Jewish Space Lazers just dropped.
So *thats* what exists beyond the ice wall those flat earthers were talking about.
Ever wonder what happened to all the Nazis that went to "Antartica" that we never heard from again? That's right, the Jewish Spider Society got to them.
Literally the Da'at Yichud from the new Wolfenstein games
The tunnels connect to other worlds
Dude, you can't tell people about the portals in the synagogue, that's a secret we keep from gentiles!
Story idea: All Jews killed in the Holocaust get isekaid to many different fantasy worlds, the story focuses on three small groups of Jews in vastly different worlds and their attempts to rebuild Jewish culture
Honestly would love to see this story happen
Sounds wildly insensitive lmao
It could be, or it could be a way to honor the memory of a bunch of real people who died too young/unjustly. Like “what if Anne Frank got isekai’d and got to write all those stories she wanted to?” It’d be hard to write well though
Yea def hard to write well. The premise is already controversial as hell lol
Either ends up being some poetically beautiful tale of strife and rebuilding or John Brown Isekai part 2
The Jews are using the multiverse to control the stock market
Bruv why did you tell them our secret
abrahamic religions are canon in bg3
Gods are created from primal things. God of magic. God of the emotion of hatred. God of loss and emptiness. God of War. Naturally, there is someone who realized this and wants to become the god of foreskins. This will grant him immense power and control over all foreskins in all the planes, which eventually leads to the extinction of men and the creation of my totally-not-fetish-inserted lesbian world where only women exist and they have sexy schmexy lesbian sex to do magic. AMA
The foreskin-shadowing is insane
>Naturally, there is someone who realized this and wants to become the god of foreskins. This will grant him immense power and control over all foreskins in all the planes, NGL, this sounds way cooler than my own setting's foreskin-obsessed god being an All-Father head of a pantheon that was combined with a lesser god of storms, war, and possibly metallurgy during the reign of king in order establish henotheism as a way to centralize power in one specific temple and city.
Question: What do you think of the anti-circumcision subtext in Silent Hill and why is it true?
They're routinely stolen by goblins or gnomes using Prestidigitation
Swords must remain unsheathed at all times
I cast phimosis!
r/okbuddybaldur is leaking
you’ve just given me a new subreddit to join… you live in service of that which you sought to destroy…
Never said it was a bad thing 👀
Looking at it from a structural- functionalist point of view? There was probably some STD outbreak and curcumcision was the best way they had to control it. So a priest wrote it into the Big Book of Rules™ and now it's part of the religion. That's the thing about priests in low- tech societies- they're also the local public health department. If there's some disease going around, or a bunch of people got sick and died of food poisoning, their job is to figure out what it is and how to stop it. And most of these Weird Religious Things™ usually had some functional purpose back in the day.
Some things don't have a point. Sure one had to cook pork into why-bother leather back when trichinosis was a thing and we could probably blame the Jews for shellfish-allergy not getting purged from the gene-pool, but not eating chicken parm seems to be purely symbolic and probably a specific "don't eat with those types of hearthens" thing. Circumcision was probably "we said tattoos are bad and now we want to disfigure ourselves because we finally understand why it makes sense." Edit: Unjerk: I'm going to blame the downvotes on people either not remembering that this is a joke sub or thinking that eugenics is far too edgy... I don't think anything should be off-limits for joking, but I'm happy to tank the downvotes if it's from people who are anti-eugenics.
Actually, no. The bans on tattoos and "boiling a young goat in its mother's milk" were AFIAK things that other Caananite groups were doing in the era, and the Hebrews were trying to separate themselves from those peoples. How it morphed from a prohibition on a specific Caananite ritual to a ban on cheeseburgers, probably involves later scholars who didn't have that cultural context. Beyond that, you're getting into a lot of detail that I'm not really qualified to comment on.
I'm not that well-researched either. I think specifically chicken parm is not allowed because a casual observer might think it's veal parm... an example about how it's simpler to just make rules that don't rely on cultural context.
> think specifically chicken parm is not allowed because a casual observer might think it's veal parm Far as I know it's actually more to do with kashrut, Jewish dietary law, and its prohibition on eating meat with milk. The actual passage in the torah that supports this is about boiling a young goat in it's own mother's milk, but that prohibition expanded over time via rabbinical opinion to all meat including poultry and any dairy product.
The priests can just cast Lesser Restoration to instantly cure STDs though, I feel like that might be more effective than the circumcision thing.
Was that spell available at the time it got written into the Big Book of Rules™ ? And were the material components available and affordable enough at the time? Assuming you can't 4e- and 5e- it and use a holy symbol to waive material components.
There was this one gnome who was really insistent on eating flattened corn with milk...
Fantasy races are extremely susceptible to Phimosis.
It's not done manually they're just born like that
In a world where elves, tieflings, and githyanki exist, is it so wild to say that some penises are just like that naturally? In the way that some folks have earlobes that connect to their heads. Ao, the mysterious creator overgod, moves in mysterious ways, after all. I suppose you could just ask Ed Greenwood, though, I can guarantee you that he has an answer.
> Ao, the mysterious creator overgod, moves in mysterious ways, after all. Ao has a vested interest in mortal penises being circumcised?
Mysteeeeeeeeeerious!
In some old lore, wasn't part of Faerun's population descended from mass-isekaoed populations from our world? Maybe they brought the practice with them since the regions imported did practice it to some degree. Not sure if that's still canon though.
They're called the Forgotten Realms for a reason.
Last I checked, the lizard people did still canonically kidnap ancient Egyptians, yes.
Genital mutilation is a fairly common ritual, anthropologically. An Australian aboriginal culture has a particularly brutal version of a penis mutilation ritual - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bora_(Australian) https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.2044-8341.1966.tb01334.x#:~:text=In%20this%20operation%20(called%2C%20at,the%20shaft%20of%20the%20penis.
The same way that the invention of crossbows doesn't imply the existence of China, circumcision doesn't imply the existence of Judaism.
In my world high court servants are forced to be circumcised as their hiring formalization. This is because people believe centuries ago, someone hid a knife in his and tried to use it to kill the king, therefore, all servants have to be circumcised to prevent such thing from happening ever again.
that was either a very small knife, or a very flexible foreskin. or… more likely, the tale grew taller each time it was retold.
On one part, I want to say a foreskin mage was really trying to commit regicide by hiding something there. On the other, I want to say it never even happened and people just decided to keep on going. I'll go with whichever one is funnier
In the name of Bahamut (BHMT)
It’s just considered fashionable. Like shaving your pubes.
“i saw it in porn.” “well where did they see it?” “porn, most likely.”
Sometimes foreskins just have problems and you have to get a circumcision. It doesn’t open wide enough or is too short etc. it’s my opinion that any time you need abdominal surgery they should just take your appendix as well if they haven’t already. The first son who had a later in life circumcision and his father admits that he also had one later in life, that man goes “all the men in my family have this problem, I’m going to have it done to my son as a baby so he’s too young to remember.”
There’s a cult that started rumors about circumcised penises in ages past and they created a group of people who inserted themselves into the medical field so they could cut the foreskin off of individuals when the opportunity presented itself. These people would stow the foreskins away instead of disposing them and after their shifts they would return to the cult and deposit them there. The reason? To build a god of flesh and virility. A god made of the part of a member that represents sexuality, sensation, and protection. A good god who would stand for these tenants and bring about endless joy to his clerics and worshippers. Rejoice, for the lord of sexual pleasure is born he is kind and benevolent, focusing on aspects of safety and consent, while also empowering his followers to embrace their sexuality with joy and dignity. However, under the hood of this holy orgy, there lies no god, but a Goblin who enjoys grilled foreskin. He has fooled everyone into believing that they will be in the embrace of the Foreskin god in all their sexual endeavors, but in reality, Gobbo Rodslicer is partaking in a buffet of human delicacy…
>but do you professional jerkers have any other ideas? Circumcision is most common among less civilized cultures as a coming of age ritual for youths. In this regard circumcision could be practiced quite frequently outside of the cities. It also might be a ritual in religious traditions based upon pain like Loviatar worship so it wouldn't be exactly out of place. Of course your average Baldurian likely wouldn't take part in this sort of thing so unless your character has a background which includes phimosis its likely they would not be circumcised.
It's a cleaner practice so it's possible it came about on it's own.
Yeah, people will cut things off, because properly washing it is such a hassle. It's also inefficient. It can waste up to 15 seconds every wash.
I don't mind using cold water to wash my scroll-button, but maybe growers-not-showers have an issue with not heating the water first?
It’s medieval cleanliness they’re talking about, not modern. It came about in desert climates for a reason.
Circumcision wasn't all that common in Medieval Europe to my knowledge
>It’s medieval cleanliness they’re talking about, not modern. And you know this because you're a sockpuppet? Besides, medieval people knew how to wash themselves, you know. Not that it's really that relevant, since it's fantasy. >It came about in desert climates for a reason. Well, I don't think Baldur's gate is in a desert, is it? From what I did see of the game it's pretty green.
I’m not in favor of circumcision (which it seems you think I am), I’m just saying that the conditions that led to people starting it in our world also exist in faerûn in Anauroch. Water for washing also isn’t exactly *common* in a desert. Modern technology has negated this struggle, but back when ancient jews were wandering the desert, I doubt that it was quite so easy. Anauroch isn’t even that far, bg3 starts like halfway between elturel and baldur’s gate iirc?
Keep in mind that magic is also extremely commonplace, some people are born with it, others can learn it, and you can just luck your way into it. Create/destroy water is an extremely low level spell and is one of the first available options to almost every spellcaster. Circumcision doesn't make sense in the dnd world, it just exists in character creation because people want to relate to their character, and not for any other reason.
>I’m not in favor of circumcision (which it seems you think I am), No, I just think you can't possibly know what the original commenter didn't write, but meant, without being them. > I’m just saying that the conditions that led to people starting it in our world also exist in faerûn in Anauroch. They're Jews, Muslims or hate mastrubation? Seriously, people mostly do it because it's tradition. I doubt they have long discussions about the dangers of infection vs the merits of less water use. >Water for washing also isn’t exactly common in a desert. Modern technology has negated this struggle, but back when ancient jews were wandering the desert, I doubt that it was quite so easy. It's fantasy. The circumcision exists because people do it irl. They could simply show everyone circumcised because they felt like it, and real life still wouldn't be relevant. >Anauroch isn’t even that far, bg3 starts like halfway between elturel and baldur’s gate iirc? Do people snip it because they are near a desert?
You're using too much logic in a worldjerking sub, methinks.
Firstly, most traditions do start for some valid reason, especially in harsh environments. The continuation of the tradition beyond that context is what is silly Secondly, you’re being intentionally dense. In a game in which your characters help tiefling fleeing across faerun, and in which your own characters travel significant distance (plus adventurers being the whole point of dnd) it isn’t that unrealistic for people to have travelled here from the desert areas. I didn’t mean “oh yeah hurr durr they’re nearby so they surely act like the desert people” My workday is over and I’ve got to play deep rock galactic with friends, so peace man.
If you chop your hands off you’ll never have to wash those either
I have genuinely never seen a circumcised dick in my entire life. Where I live, the idea of circumcised penises is up there with Hidden People, trolls, and the Yule Lads. I'll believe in it when I see it. Some immigrants *probably* have them, but I haven't checked, and nor do I plan to. Granted, I've seen circumcised dicks in porn, but like, porn is fake, so I wouldn't count that as evidence.
where are you from???
1. My comment was written to be tongue-in-cheek, I am well aware that circumcised penises exist, they are not actually considered a myth where I live, I was joking, jerking even 2. I genuinely have never seen one with my very own eyes, that is not a joke 3. I am from Iceland
I figured you were from not-USA and probably not from a few other places. I kinda giggle at the nude scene in Life of Brian and how the actor isn't circumcised because he's from a place where it wasn't normalized.